


Daybreak

by Darth_Claire



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Action/Adventure, Aftermath of Torture, Avengers Feels, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Notebooks, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Drama, Emotional Hurt, Eventual Romance, F/M, Flashbacks, Frenemies Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson, Friendship, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Romance, SHIELD, Slow Burn, Tony Angst, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2018-08-11 08:34:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 203,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7884199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Claire/pseuds/Darth_Claire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Note: Apologies for the lack of updates. I have been unable to work on this due to some medical issues.  That should be handled soon and hopefully regular updates will resume.</p><p> </p><p>A year after the events of Civil War, Bucky Barnes is forced to flee Wakanda.  With no where else to turn, he seeks Steve's help.  Steve must confront the full extent of his friend's condition.  The rest of the team must learn to accommodate their unstable new housemate as Bucky struggles to recover the fragments of his past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Night

The clock read 3AM when Steve heard the phone ring. Half awake, he reached for the burner phone he kept for emergencies, and flipped it open. "Tony?"

"No," the caller replied flatly. "Steve, it's me."

Steve was fully awake. "Bucky?" He nearly dropped the phone in his surprise. "Is everything alright?"

"No. I'm fine, but don't have time to talk. You need to meet me at the rendezvous point."

"Ok, give me 6 hours," Steve said. He stretched and started looking for his pants.

"I might not be able to wait. I'll call again if it's compromised." The line went dead.

Steve put on his clothes and went to Sharon's room. He knocked, but there was no response. Usually he would never enter uninvited, but time was a factor. He opened the door and turned on the light. Sharon rolled over, but didn't wake up.

"Sharon," he called. No response. He reached down and shook her foot.

"It's 3AM," she mumbled into her pillow.

"Wake up, I have an emergency." Sharon sat up.

"What?" she yawned.

"Bucky just called." Sharon was suddenly awake.

"I thought you said he was," she paused and rubbed her eyes. "You actually didn't say where he was."

"I thought the fewer who knew, the better," Steve said. Natasha was starting to rub off on him. "He was in Wakanda, in cryostasis."

"Why isn't he still there?" Sharon yawned.

"I don't know," Steve said. "I have to go get him. If I'm not back in 24 hours, something went wrong."

"We're not going with you?" Sharon asked, surprised.

Steve shook his head. "It sounded like he had to leave in a hurry. I don't know what condition he's in and I don't want him getting spooked."

Sharon grabbed Steve's shoulder and kissed him. "Be careful."

"I'll try."

Sharon lay back down and closed her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow night, though if you actually take 24 hours, I might be asleep."

* * *

Steve sat down in the café and opened his laptop. He searched for any news of an attack on Wakanda. As he expected, nothing came up. If there was an incident that prompted King T'Challa to evacuate Bucky, it was probably off the radar.

He sipped his latte, noticing that the barista had drawn a heart in the foam. He felt silly ordering these, but they tasted a lot better than coffee had when he was younger. It had always been too bitter for his taste, but Bucky had loved it. Every morning in the Army he would bring both of them a cup of black coffee. Steve only managed to drink a little bit of it and Bucky would finish the rest. Nat had introduced him to the new coffee trends and Steve had to admit that adding a lot of milk helped.

A man in a baseball cap and a dark jacket sat down at the table beside him. "Anyone sitting here?"

"All yours pal," Steve said without looking. He pretended to type on the computer and Bucky opened a newspaper.

"You have any trouble?"

"Not much," Bucky said. "Nothing that followed me here anyway." He looked over at Steve's cup. "What are you drinking?"

"Café latte. You should try it."

"I'll stick to black coffee," Bucky said. "They put flavors in it now. Have you tried Hazelnut?"

Steve laughed. "Yeah, they can add flavors to a latte too."

"And they put chocolate in everything," Bucky said with a hint of excitement. "The girl up there talked me into a chocolate caramel cheesecake."

"You know, if you keep eating like that you're going to get fat," Steve teased him.

Bucky scooped up a large bite of cheesecake. "I'm willing to take that risk."

Steve smiled. Bucky seemed to be adjusting to modern culture. "When you finish your coffee, the car is parked one street over. You go left, I'll go right, circle the block, it's a dark blue Ford Focus."

Bucky folded the newspaper and laid it flat on the table to focus on his cheesecake. "So, whatever happened with that girl?"

"Her name is Sharon, and we're still together," Steve said. "Going on a year now. We're actually staying at her place."

"We?" Bucky asked around a mouthful of cheesecake.

"The team. You met them all in Leipzig. Sam, Wanda, Scott, Natasha."

"Was Scott the arrow guy?"

"No, that's Clint. Scott's the ant guy. Clint's at home with his family, but you'll see him around."

"Natasha, was-"

"The redhead. You've actually met her and Sam before in DC."

Bucky put down the fork and put a hand on his coffee cup. "Are they ok with this?" He sounded nervous.

"You called at 3AM. I didn't have time to tell them. But if we can learn to work with the Hulk, we can find a place for you." Steve hoped that was true.

"Is that the green guy who destroyed Johannesburg?"

"Yeah, he was being mind controlled at the time."

"I can relate," Bucky said. He finished his cheesecake and washed it down with the rest of his coffee. Steve finished his latte.

"Ok, I'll meet you at the car, wait a minute before you leave." Steve closed his laptop and left the shop. As he turned the corner, he caught the reflection of several armed men in a window across the street. He doubled backed and caught Bucky just as he was leaving the shop.

"Plan B," he said, falling into step beside Bucky.

"What's plan B?" Bucky asked. Steve could see his muscles tensing, ready to move.

"Try not to kill anyone. We might have to fight our way out of this." Steve and Bucky walked quickly through the streets away from the car. "There's a subway station one block ahead."

Bucky caught his arm. "Which will be crawling with police because they'll expect us to go that direction." Steve gave him a curious look.

"Infiltration was never really your thing, Steve," Bucky asserted.

"Point taken." Steve conceded. "So what do we do?"

Bucky looked across the street. "We're taking the bus." They ran for the bus which had just stopped at the corner. Steve handed the driver a five.

"No change," the driver said.

"Keep it," Steve told him. He and Bucky took a couple of seats near the exit. He looked up at the route map. "Where does this go?"

"Doesn't matter we just need to get out of this area," Bucky said.

"Who's extracting who here?"

"I was on the run for two years. You've been staying at your girlfriend's house," Bucky replied.

"I should have brought Natasha."

"I still can't place her," Bucky said.

Steve laughed. "That going to irritate her. You shot her, twice."

"I've shot a lot of people twice."

"Two separate encounters."

Bucky frowned. "Ok, that's narrows it down a lot."

Steve looked at the route map. "So what's our next move?"

"Sharon's place is outside Baltimore."

"We still have to get out of Brooklyn. Do you have enough money for a cab to New Jersey? We can catch the train there."

Steve laughed. "Remember the time we took the ferry out to see the Statue of Liberty, but we got on the wrong ferry going home and ended up in New Jersey?"

Bucky laughed. "Your mom was so angry with you."

Steve shook his head. "No, you're thinking of something else. This was after high school."

Bucky looked confused for a moment. "She'd already died," he said. His face lit up. "My mom angry."

"I thought she'd never stop yelling at us," Steve chuckled.

"Us?" Bucky balked. "The whole thing was your fault, but she yelled at me because you'd just lost your mom."

Steve laughed. "Oh yeah. The ferry was leaving and I forgot to check which one it was. She really laid into you when we got back."

Bucky punched him in the arm. "You owe me for that."

"Fine. How about I give you a place to stay and I'll just make you shine my shoes, maybe do my laundry."

"Joke's on you pal, I never figured out how to use a washing machine."

* * *

It was late when Steve and Bucky returned to Sharon's house. The living room light was still on and Steve could hear the TV. He opened the door quietly so as not to startle anyone.

"Sharon? Sam?" He turned to Bucky. "Wait in the kitchen, I'll get everyone."

In the living room, Sam was just getting up to greet him and Sharon was curled up on the couch asleep. Steve shook her gently.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Midnight," Steve said, giving her a kiss. "Sorry, we're late."

"You should be," Natasha said. "There is nothing on TV this time of night."

Steve chuckled. "I'll try to get home before the reruns start next time."

"Man, you said 10," Sam chastised him.

"We had some car trouble," Steve joked.

"Who gets to go back for it?" Natasha asked.

Sharon sighed. "Where did you leave it?"

"Brooklyn."

Sam rubbed his neck. "I guess I'll be flying to Brooklyn." He nudged Scott with his foot. "Wake up Tic-Tac."

Scott jolted awake. "I'm up."

"Is he here?" Wanda asked.

Steve nodded. "I had him wait in the kitchen."

"That's fine, I'm going to need beer for this," Sam said.

"I know this is a bit awkward, but thank you guys," Steve said.

"You didn't give us much of a choice," Natasha said.

They followed Steve into the kitchen. Sam went directly to the fridge. "Who needs a beer?"

"I'll take one," Scott yawned.

"You drink beer?" Sam asked Bucky.

"I used to," he replied, taking the bottle.

"Anyone else?" Sharon and Natasha accepted one but Wanda declined.

The room was silent for a minute. Bucky frowned, studying Natasha. "I thought you were with the other side."

"I'm flexible."

"So did they fix your head?" Sam asked.

"Bucky was in Wakanda in cryostasis," Steve explained. "They woke him up to fix his arm, but before they could try anything psychological, Wakanda was attacked. It wasn't safe for him to stay there."

"So you're still a HYDRA puppet," Sam said.

"Sam," Steve warned him.

"And you're still ugly," Bucky retorted. Natasha nearly snorted beer out of her nose.

"I'm sorry for putting everyone in this situation," Steve said. "Especially without telling you first, but the safest place for him is here. At least I know we can trust everyone in this room."

"We're on the run, what's one more fugitive," Scott shrugged.

Sam looked around. "So am I the only one who has a problem with this?"

"No, but Steve's right," Natasha admitted. "This is the safest place. I'm not thrilled about it. He did shoot me twice. "

Bucky gave her a confused look. "What was the second time?"

"DC, shoulder," Natasha said with a smirk. "Which time do you remember?"

Bucky frowned for a moment. "Ok, what was the first time?"

Natasha flashed him a teasing smile. "Let me know when you remember."

"I'd rather have him back in Wakanda too," Steve admitted. "But that's no longer an option. What's the alternative?"

"Turn him in?" Sam suggested.

"That option ends with him in the RAFT," Sharon said.

"That option ends with all of us in the RAFT," Natasha said.

"Odessa, nuclear engineer," Bucky said.

Natasha nodded. "Left a scar but it was a hell of a shot."

"I wouldn't do this if I thought there was another way, Sam," Steve assured him. "If he turns himself in they're just going to lock him away for the rest of his life, or worse, try to use him again."

"Running out of options is what got us here," Sam pointed out.

"I'm not suggesting we take him in the field with us," Steve said.

"Well let's not rule anything out," Natasha said. "He's pretty good in a fight."

"Until someone gets their hands on that book," Sam said.

"It's with the CIA," Sharon said.

"I trust the CIA about as far as I can throw them, and Zemo has the damn phrase memorized," Sam reminded her.

"Zemo is in jail," Steve said.

"So were we," Sam reminded him.

"I'm just saying let's keep our options open," Natasha said. "We don't have to decide anything tonight."

"You want to take Total Recall there into a fight, be my guest, but that's on you!"

The sharp clink of glass shattering halted the argument. Bucky let out a frustrated yell, clutching his head in his hand. Glass shards covered his metal hand. He rattled off a string of words in Russian that had Natasha looking stunned.

"I don't like this either, it's goddamn nightmare for me!" he growled. "I'd rather be locked up in Wakanda than sitting here wondering if Zemo is going to break out or if there's another goddamn book somewhere. You don't trust me, well I don't either, but this is my only fucking option."

The group was silent. Scott raised his hand. "Again, I'm totally cool with this."

Sharon handed Bucky a towel. "Why don't we all go to bed and discuss this in the morning like rational, well rested people."

Everyone grumbled a bit but headed slowly off to their rooms.

"Come on upstairs," Sharon said to Bucky. "I'll get you settled. We're a little short on space, so you'll have to room with Steve."

Sharon led Bucky and Steve upstairs and opened the closet. She took out a set of blankets and a pillow, and handed them to Bucky. "You'll have to sleep on the floor until we can figure something out."

"It's ok, I've slept on worse," Bucky said.

"We'll be fine," Steve assured her. "We spent a couple weeks marching through the Alps. If he can sleep there, the floor should feel like a down mattress."

"Goodnight," Sharon said. Steve gave her a quick kiss and led Bucky down the hall to their room.

Bucky laid the blankets on the floor beside the bed. "Try not to step on me in the morning."

"That happened one time," Steve said. He couldn't help but smile at the memory. Bucky took off his boots for probably the first time in days and settled on the floor. Steve turned off the lights and settled in the bed.

"Bucky," he said after a while.

"Yeah?" Bucky mumbled, already half asleep.

"It's good to have you back."

"I'll be happier about it if you let me go to sleep," Bucky muttered,

Steve laughed. "Jerk."

"Punk."

* * *

Bucky awoke suddenly. His mind was racing and he was shaking. He couldn't remember the dream, but he knew what it had been about. It was always the same thing. Images came flooding back to him, none of them from the same mission, but all of the Winter Soldier. Howard Stark, the freezing tube, Moscow, Washington DC, a diplomat's wife, terrified crowds running after a sniper took out a politician at a rally.

Gasping for air, he went to the kitchen for a glass of water. His real hand trembled as he tried to fill the glass. He switched it to his metal hand, but his grip broke the glass. He slammed a fist against the counter top and sank down to the floor, his breathing still fast and heavy. The sound of running water assaulted his ears and images of a bathtub flooded his mind.

The faucet had been running as he pushed the woman's head under and held it until she stopped struggling. Her panicked thrashing had splashed water all over the floor. It had soaked into his clothes as he knelt beside the tub, warm and smelling of lavender. She had been an MI6 agent or CIA or SHIELD, he couldn't quite remember. On his way out, he had picked up a briefcase containing some unknown secret. He never knew the reason for her death, only how she had died.

Behind him, the water stopped. The last few drops hit the sink like a pounding drum.

"Bucky?"

Bucky felt his breathing start to slow. He was safe. He was with friends. Steve was there. He was safe.

"What is it?" Steve asked.

For a heartbeat, Bucky considered lying. It had always been his job to look out for Steve, even when Steve didn't realize he needed it. Somewhere, during their years at war and the long sleep in between, things had changed. There was so much in his friend that was still innocent, but sometimes he actually seemed 100. Steve was there to help him. This was the man who had fought his way behind enemy lines to rescue him from a HYDRA research base. This was his best friend, the only family he had left.

"I can't shut it out," Bucky said finally in a strangled voice. "I used to think not remembering my name was the bad part, but I think remembering it all is worse."

Steve sat down on the floor beside him. His presence was soothing, strong and quiet. He was an anchor in the storm, but the storm still raged in his mind.

"They're all in there," Bucky whispered. "All the screams, begging, all the blood."

"None of that is your fault," Steve said softly.

"Doesn't make it go away," Bucky said, failing to keep the pain out of his voice. Steve took a deep breath. Bucky could see how much it hurt Steve to hear him say that, but it was difficult to accept that he wasn't responsible when he could still feel the blood on his hands.

"You know, when I came out of the ice, I couldn't sleep for weeks," Steve confessed. "I'd drift off and then I'd hear a car horn and think I was under attack. You get used to it."

Bucky looked at his metal arm. He could feel a lump in his throat. "I don't want to get used to it. All those years, I never felt anything for them. I was numb, like I was never really unfrozen. I feel like the only thing separating me from the Winter Soldier are the nightmares."

Steve grew quiet. Bucky could hear the unspoken assurances that he was innocent, that things would get better. He didn't want to hear that again. He knew those words by heart, but still couldn't bring himself to feel them.

"I should have looked for you," Steve said finally. "You were alive. I should have gone back."

Bucky chuckled softly, caught off guard by Steve's sudden confession. The idea of Steve blaming himself made him feel a small measure of control again. That little guy from Brooklyn was still in there trying to carry the weight of the world, and he still needed Bucky.

"I fell off a train and over a cliff," Bucky reminded him. "My arm got ripped off. You were behind enemy lines and you had a mission to complete." Bucky felt calm again, but Steve looked troubled.

"I still should have tried to save you," he said.

Bucky threw his metal arm around Steve's shoulder. "I wouldn't have been there to fall off that train if it wasn't for you. You were the one who wanted to go. I just went because I got drafted. Everything good I did over there, we did together, and I wouldn't change a minute of it." Bucky thought for a moment. "Ok, maybe that last bit on the train."

Steve nodded, a thin smile on his lips. "Did it hurt?"

Bucky thought back for a minute. "I didn't feel much after my arm got ripped off. That hurt like hell. Hitting the ground, I was pretty much numb at that point. Getting the new one hurt like hell. At least the Wakandans used anesthesia when they replaced it," Bucky said. Steve winced.

Bucky stood up and gave Steve his hand to help him up. Steve reached in the cabinet and handed Bucky a plastic cup. "We'll clean the glass up in the morning."

"Hello?" someone called. Bucky instinctively moved his feet into a ready stance.

"Wanda?" Steve asked. The young woman Bucky had met earlier that day came into the dark kitchen. "What are you doing up?"

"Natasha snores," Wanda said. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Steve said. "Well, Bucky broke a glass." He gestured at the sink. Wanda's hand started to glow.

"I'll get it." She waved her hands and levitated the shards into the trash.

"That's a neat trick," Bucky said. Here was another thing to get used to.

"I know it's hard to get comfortable in a new place, but we're happy you're here," she said. Bucky just nodded.

Steve yawned. "Alright, it's been a long day and tomorrow won't be any shorter, so we all need to try and get some sleep."

"I'll be up in a minute," Bucky said.

Steve smiled. "Night pal."

* * *

"I hope we didn't wake you up," Steve said as they climbed the stairs. Wanda shook her head. "Thanks for that, I think it helped him to hear that someone wants him here."

"You took me in when I had nowhere to go," Wanda said. "We owe him the same." She turned to go to her room.

"How long were you standing there?" Steve asked. Wanda turned back to him.

"Longer than I should have," she confessed. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I didn't want to interrupt."

"You might want to tell him you can read minds so it doesn't freak him out when he sees you doing it."

Wanda frowned. "Sometimes I don't even have to try. I didn't want to look without permission, but I was getting glimpses from him. He's seen some terrible things."

Steve nodded sadly. "Yeah he has. I think you know a little something about that too."

"I do," she agreed. "And he needs us right now."

* * *

Bucky sat in the living room, staring out the window. The first night in a new place was always unnerving. His first night in the Army, he had lain in his bunk staring at the ceiling until dawn. His first night of freedom in DC had been spent hiding in a vacant house, clutching a knife. He had only dared to doze off for a few minutes, terrified that he would be found, but not entirely sure who to be afraid of. The first night in Bucharest, he had spent looking out the window for any signs of pursuit. He blinked a few times, feeling a wave of fatigue that would catch up to him tomorrow. It would be alright. The second night was always better.

**-End**


	2. Daybreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning, Steve and the team must decide what to do about Bucky.

The sun was streaming in the living room windows when Steve came downstairs. Bucky was asleep on the sofa, his head resting on his metal arm. Steve took a pillow from the couch and gently tried to slide it under his head. Bucky snapped into motion, grabbing Steve's arm with his left hand and drawing a knife with the right. For a minute they stared at each other. Bucky's eyes were hard and cold with no sign of recognition.

"Easy Buck," Steve said, taking care not to make any sudden moves. After a minute, Bucky released him.

"You're safe," Steve reassured him. "You're at Sharon Carter's house near Baltimore."

Slowly, Steve could see it start to register in Bucky's eyes. He sheathed the knife and looked around the room. "I was upstairs."

"You came down for a glass of water," Steve reminded him. Bucky was quiet for a minute.

"I had a nightmare." he said. Steve could see in his eyes that he was trying to piece things together. "I broke it. The glass."

"Yeah, you did," Steve confirmed. "We need to get some plastic cups."

"The red girl, she helped clean it up."

"That's Wanda," Steve reminded him. "She's nice. You'll like her."

Steve sat down on the couch beside him. "Do you remember what you were dreaming?" Bucky shook his head.

"Nothing specific. Just flashes." He paused. "No wait, the dream wasn't about anything specific. It was just random snippets of everything. Why am I on the couch?"

"You stayed down here for a minute after I went back up. You must have fallen asleep, I was trying to put a pillow under your head."

Bucky nodded slowly. He was disoriented, but Steve could see him start to piece last night's events together. "I'll make some coffee. We're going to have a busy morning." He went to the kitchen and opened the cabinet. "Oh look, we have hazelnut," he called.

"What?" Bucky asked.

Steve spooned the grounds into the filter. "You were telling me yesterday at the coffee shop that you like hazelnut flavored coffee," Steve reminded him. It had only been yesterday. So much had happened that it seemed longer.

"In Brooklyn," Bucky grinned. "You were drinking something foamy."

"Are you making fun of me or do you not remember what I had?" Steve asked. He poured in the water and pressed the button to start the machine.

"I'm making fun of you for drinking a latte," Bucky teased. "With a heart on it, no less."

"The girl at the counter thought I was cute, Mr. Turtle Cheesecake," Steve said. "Do remember how we got here?"

"We took a cab to New Jersey and caught the train." Bucky joined Steve in the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway. "My bag," he said.

"All your stuff is-" Bucky was gone. "Upstairs."

* * *

Bucky ran up the stairs and stopped at the top. He couldn't remember which room was Steve's. Silently, he opened the first door. It led to a study cluttered with old papers and musty books. The second door was locked. A door on the other side was slightly a jar. He pushed it open. Wilson and the other man from last night were asleep in the beds.

"Bucky!" He heard an urgent whisper from behind and turned to find Steve at the top of the stairs. "Last one on the left."

He ran to the room and looked around for the black backpack. It was gone. Bucky felt numb. Everything he owned had been in there. His entire life was in that bag and he had lost it. Steve joined him in the room and closed the door. In the corner was the back pack. Steve picked it up and handed it to Bucky. Bucky snatched it possessively.

"I stepped on it last night so I must have moved it," Steve explained.

Bucky sat down on the bed and unzipped the bag. Everything was safe inside. He felt the knot in his chest loosen, and took out one of the books to inspect it.

"What are those?" Steve asked, sitting down on the other end of the bed. Bucky handed him the one he had been looking at.

"I remember things in pieces," Bucky explained. "Sometimes I can't put them together right away. Even when I do, I'm afraid I might lose it again."

Steve looked through the book. "This one's about me."

"Most of it is from books or museums, but a lot of it I remembered on my own. Like the time in 5th grade when we told your mom that we were going to the park, but you got us lost and we didn't get home until after dark." Bucky said proudly. There were so many things he wasn't able to find in a book, so much of their childhood together that he knew had to come from his own mind.

"She had half the neighborhood out looking for us," Steve said. "I had to do the dishes for a month."

"You got off easy!" Bucky told him. "I had to help Mr. Ferguson at the grocery shop."

Steve handed the journal back to him. "Come on, the coffee's ready."

* * *

Steve handed Bucky a mug. "Sure you don't want creamer?"

Bucky scoffed. "No thanks. Enjoy your coffee flavored milk foam."

Steve sipped his drink. Bucky seemed lucid now, but the earlier incident had him worried. If someone else had found him, they might have been hurt. "Buck, is that normal for you, what happened when I woke you up?"

Bucky set his cup down. "Sometimes," he admitted. "It takes me a minute to remember where I am sometimes. Especially in a new place.

Steve looked squarely at him, afraid to hear the answer. "I need you to be honest with me here. How bad is it? In Bucharest, you recognized me, but I couldn't tell if you actually knew me."

"I didn't," Bucky said. Steve's heart sank. "Not really, but, I don't know, a part of me did. You just showed up out of the blue. I wasn't completely sure it was you. Fighting my way out of there was mostly just reaction, but there were a few moments," he trailed off.

"When you remembered fighting together," Steve finished hopefully.

Bucky nodded. "Like a reflex. I knew which way you were going to move."

"In Berlin though," Steve continued. "You were better. After you woke up from the river, you knew who I was. You knew a lot of stuff and you seemed fine the rest of the trip."

"I think the crash must have jarred my memory. Sometimes I wake up and everything seems clear, even if I can't remember everything, I know who I am. It comes and goes."

"Ok." Steve said, running a hand through his hair. He was still exhausted from yesterday and convincing Sam that it was safe to let Bucky stay was going to be an uphill battle. "Last night, I think you scared everyone a bit. What was that about?"

Bucky sighed. "It was a long trip. I was tired and, uh," Bucky fumbled for a name. "The guy with the wings."

"Sam."

Bucky nodded. "I was worried he was going to kick me out."

"Well he's not happy about it, but I'll talk to them. I'm not letting you go again until I know you're safe."

"Steve." Bucky's gaze was clear and focused now. "I'm not going to try to talk you out of this, because you never listen to me anyway, but don't destroy what you have here to hang on to the past. You have friends, you finally found the guts to make a move on your sweetheart. Don't throw all that away just because I showed up."

"I'm not," Steve promised him. "But I'm not going to abandon you either. You're my friend. If it were Sam or Natasha I'd do the same for them."

In the doorway someone yawned. Steve turned to see Scott walk in, shirtless and scratching his stomach. "Morning. Is there any coffee?"

"I just made a fresh pot." Steve said. Bucky looked at him and mouthed, 'that guy is weird'. Steve stifled a laugh and sipped his coffee.

* * *

Everyone was seated at the breakfast table. The room was silent except for Scott who was asking Bucky questions about his arm.

"I don't know," Bucky said for the ninth time. "I'm not an electrical engineer."

"He is," Sam explained. Bucky rolled his eyes.

"It just moves so naturally," Scott said. "Does it move on it's own or is there some sort of relay to your nervous system."

Bucky sighed. "I didn't design it," he said again.

"Is it waterproof, or do you have to stay out of the rain?"

"It's waterproof," Bucky said, sounding relieved to be able to answer something. "I can go in water, but the weight makes it difficult to swim. At least the old one did. I haven't tried with this one. The casing is vibranium so it's a lot lighter."

"Well you should probably go test it out in the shower," Natasha said. Bucky looked at her. She smiled innocently.

"Always the soul of tact," Wanda muttered.

Bucky stood up and took his plate to the sink. "Actually that sounds good. I don't think I've showered since Africa anyway."

"You can use my clothes until we get you some new ones," Steve said.

"The shower is upstairs at the end of the hall. Towels are in the closet," Sharon said. "Take your time. There's plenty of hot water." Bucky left the room.

"I call the shower after he's done," Steve said. "I need to wash off New Jersey."

"Break out the cologne, Rogers," Natasha said. "We need to talk."

Sam watched to be sure Bucky had left the room. "Alright, what the hell, man?"

Steve took a deep breath, preparing himself for the discussion. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys, but there wasn't time to have a discussion. Whether he stays here or not, I had to go get him, and I'm not going to apologize for that."

"You do want him to stay here though," Sam said.

"I want him to be safe," Steve said. "And I want to know where he is. I'm not going to let him out of my sight again until I can be sure he's in good hands."

"Is this a house meeting or a team meeting?" Natasha asked. "Should I conference in Clint?"

Steve shook his head. "No, we're just talking about him staying here. We'll table the idea of him joining the team until he's had a chance to adjust."

"You sure?" she asked. "Clint will probably be sympathetic."

"I'm sure," Steve said. "We'll tell him next time we see him."

"What sort of condition is he in?" Sam asked. "Last night he seemed a bit agitated."

"He hadn't slept in a few days and someone had been chasing him," Steve said. "So yeah, he was agitated, and he was scared. He thought you were going to kick him back out on the streets. Once we can convince him that he's safe here, he'll get better." 

"Do you really think that, or are you just hoping?" Sharon asked.

"You've spent, what, three days with him in the last 70 years?" Sam argued. "I know for you, it's like it all just happened, but he's been awake. Everything that happened, that does things to a guy."

"Honestly Steve, how bad is it?" Natasha asked.

Steve looked at his coffee mug. He owed them the truth, even though he knew how it was going to sound. "He's in and out. The other day he was fine. This morning I found him asleep on the couch and he didn't know where he was. He almost stabbed me before I calmed him down." Sam groaned.

"That's a pretty big security risk you're asking us to take," Natasha said bluntly.

"I think it'll be better if he can stay in one place," Steve argued. "He was in Bucharest for a year on his own and nothing happened until we pulled him out."

"And if it doesn't get better?" Sam asked. "We have no way of knowing what's going on up there. Everything he's been through, there could be some permanent damage."

"I'll find a way to help him, and if we can't, we'll figure something out. Until then, this is the safest place for him. If someone gets a hold of the code book, there's no telling what they could make him do. At least if he's here, we have a chance to stop him."

"And what if he snaps and murders us in our sleep," Sam said.

"He hasn't done anything without being provoked," Steve pointed out.

Sam turned to Scott. "Yo, Tic-Tac, you're quiet."

Scott sat up. "I don't really know the guy."

"That's kind of the point I'm trying to make here," Sam said.

"It's ok Scott, just tell us what you think," Steve said.

Scott shrugged. "I spent 3 years in San Quentin, so I'm used to sleeping with serial killers down the hall." He turned to Steve." Not that your friend is anything like those guys," he added quickly. Scott paused. "It's not easy to get back on your feet when all anyone looks at is your past, I should know. I'm not going to make it harder for anyone else."

"Wanda?" Steve asked.

Wanda considered for a moment. "I agree with Scott. You let me join you after everything I did. If we can help him, we should."

Sam frowned. "What are you going to do if we say no?" he asked. "What happens if we decided we don't want him here?"

Steve tapped his fingers on the table. "I go with him. I'm not breaking up the team again, but I need to help him and if that means finding somewhere else to live, I will."

"No, you won't," Sharon said firmly. "This is my house and I'm letting all of you stay here rent free, so it's ultimately my decision."

"And?" Steve asked.

"I want him to stay. I feel like I owe it to Aunt Peggy."

"Don't do that," Steve said, taking her hand. He loved her for offering, but she had already sacrificed so much to help them. "He's my friend. You don't owe him anything. Don't do it just because you think it's what she would do."

"Well then," she said. "I am going to let him stay here because I am a compassionate person, and a supportive girlfriend, and because you are going to take me out on a very expensive date to thank me for my generosity."

Steve smiled. "Now that sounds like you," he squeezed her hand.

"And that is all I have to say about that," Sharon said. She took her plate to the sink. "I'm going to go see if he figured out the shower and throw his clothes in the, um," she paused, "trash."

"Could you get him a set of my clothes while you're up there?" Steve asked.

"Let's hope they fit," she said.

* * *

Sharon headed for the stairs and turned the corner to find Bucky sitting there. She stepped past him, out of sight of the others, and sat down. "I didn't know you were Peggy Carter's niece."

"Great niece," Sharon said.

"You don't think dating your great aunt's dead boyfriend is a little weird?"

"Well, I'm dating a super soldier who was frozen in the Arctic for 70 years, hangs out with a Norse god, a guy who turns into a rampaging green monster, and a woman who can move things with her mind. I'm not going to lose sleep over the fact that he kissed my great aunt once in 1945.

"So he did kiss her," Bucky grinned.

"She kissed him. Right before he crashed a plane into the ocean."

Bucky shook his head, laughing quietly. "That sound like Steve."

"They're going to take a while. I'll show you how to work the shower."

Bucky followed her up to the bathroom. Sharon handed him a set of towels from the hall closet and pulled back the shower curtain "Turn it to the temperature you want and then pull the tab on the top of the faucet. I'm going to get you something to wear and see if I can find you something better to sleep on."

"I like the floor," Bucky told her. "I'm not really used to sleeping in a bed."

"At least a sleeping bag. I'll set out some of Steve's clothes for you."

* * *

Natasha leaned back in her chair. "Face it Wilson, you've been out voted."

"Yeah, I missed the part where you actually told us what you were thinking, Romanoff," Sam said. Natasha flashed a cryptic smile.

"Playing both sides," Steve remarked. "Good to see nothing has changed."

"You've had a dangerous Russian assassin in the house the whole time. What's one more?" Natasha said, taking her coffee to the patio.

"See, it's stuff like that," Steve called after her. He stood and carried his plate to the sink.

"I'm going for a quick run," Scott said.

"I'll join you," Wanda called, running upstairs to change. Scott went to find his shoes.

Steve eyed the door. "I'm going to see if Bucky's done with the shower."

"Sit your ass down Rogers," Sam said. "We are not done here. I may have lost the argument but this discussion is not over." Steve poured another cup of coffee and went back to his seat.

"Look," Sam said, leaning forward on the table. "I know how much it means for you to have him back, I really do. If Riley walked through that door right now, I'd be doing the same thing. I'm not trying to take this away from you."

"But," Steve sighed.

"But you have a huge blind spot for that guy," Sam continued. "I just want to make sure that you understand what you're getting us into. You don't know him, not anymore. Parts of him are there, parts of him aren't, and there's a part of him that's still the Winter Soldier. As painful as that is for you to accept, that's the truth, and I'm worried that you're not seeing it. You spent 70 years on ice and you're not the same guy you were in 1945, but he spent 70 years being caged up, and having his brain scrambled, and god knows what else. That changes people, and you may never get him back. I feel for the guy, I do, but I don't want to see anyone get hurt over it, you included."

Steve considered Sam's words carefully. He knew in his head that Sam was right, but he had come so close to having Bucky back. "I know this isn't going to be easy, and you're probably right that I'm not seeing the full picture, but I just know I can't abandon him now after all this."

Sam smiled. "Honestly, I'd be kind of disappointed in you if you did."

* * *

Bucky toweled his hair dry. It felt like years since he had been this clean. He put on the clothes that had been set out for him. The jeans mostly fit, except that they were too long. The shirt was loose, which he didn't mind. The combat gear he had worn for the last several decades was stiff and confining. It felt good to have something soft on his skin. He sat down on the bed to roll up the cuff of the jeans and looked around the room.

Steve kept pictures on the bedside table. There were hundreds of pictures of them together during the war, but Steve had chosen one from high school, before the serum. It was from a dance Bucky's last year. Steve had not been able to get a date, so Bucky had decided to go stag and keep him company. Steve had tried to talk to a blond, but he had ruined it and Bucky had ended up walking her home. He would have liked to call her again, but that wouldn't have been fair to Steve.

"You remember that night?" Steve asked.

Bucky put the photo back on the table. "That band was terrible. They were off key half the time and everything was either too slow or too fast."

Steve laughed. "Yeah, they were pretty bad. I cleared it with the team, you're staying here."

"I was listening," Bucky told him.

Steve sat down beside him. "Look, Sam's just being cautious."

"He has a point," Bucky conceded. He remembered thinking Wilson was kind of an ass, but Steve trusted him. Steve needed someone to keep him in check when he was being stupid, and for the past few years, that had probably been Wilson. If he thought Steve was being foolish taking Bucky in, maybe he was right.

Steve shook his head. "I can't make you stay Buck, but I'm not throwing you out and neither is anyone else."

Bucky stood up, looking around the room. It was comfortable, but he couldn't see it as anything but the latest stop in a long journey. Still, it would do for now. "Well if I'm staying. You'd better show me around."

"You've seen most of it, but we do have a workout room set up in the basement," Steve said. He could hear the excitement in his friend's voice. "And we'll get you some clothes that fit properly."

"It's your fault for growing so much." Bucky quipped as he followed Steve downstairs. Even if this was temporary, it was good to be back.

**-End-**


	3. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve stays behind with Bucky while the team goes on a mission. Steve tells Bucky about the year he's missed and Bucky gives Steve some dating advice.

_**-Baltimore-** _

Steve and Natasha sat at the kitchen table reading the news. It had been a week since Bucky had joined them. Despite their reservations, the team had welcomed him, and Bucky seemed to be adjusting as well as could be expected.

Steve heard cursing from the living room. Bucky came in with an irritated scowl. "I broke the TV."

Steve didn't look up from his newspaper. "I keep telling you, Buck, you didn't break it, you just pressed the wrong button."

"Well how am I supposed to press the right one? There are four remotes with twenty buttons each. Three of them don't do anything, but I can never figure out which one actually makes the damn thing work."

Natasha stifled a laugh. 

"I don't get the point of that thing anyway," he continued. "There's 200 channels and everyone complains that there's nothing on. Why have that many channels with nothing worth watching."

"So read a book and get Scott to help you with it later," Steve said.

Bucky looked at him for a moment. "You don't know how to work it either, do you?"

Natasha's phone dinged before Steve was forced to answer. "Hey Steve? Remember that situation we had our eye on in Venezuela?"

Steve set down the newspaper. "You get an update?"

Natasha scrolled through the alert. "Yeah, we might want to get moving."

Steve pressed the intercom button on the wall. "Everyone in the living room for a mission briefing." He leaned over Natasha's shoulder. "Show me what you have."

* * *

The team watched the screen as Natasha went through the mission briefing. Bucky had joined them out of curiosity, but stood by the door apart from the group.

"They're demanding an obscene amount of money, which the Venezuelan Government doesn't have. If they don't get it, they're threatening to blow up an oil tanker in Lake Maracaibo with hostages on board. Not only would that kill a bunch of people, but the resulting fire and oil spill would be an ecological disaster."

"Any chance the government might intervene?" Sharon asked.

"They've already refused to negotiate," Natasha told them. "They're holding off on military intervention for the moment, but it will probably come to that and it won't end well for anyone."

"Any chance they'll call in the Avengers?" Sam asked.

"Maybe, but we'll have this wrapped up by the time they finish the subcommittee hearing," Natasha joked. "Scott, can you disarm a bomb?"

"Never tried, but it's just wires," he said. "Or I'll shrink it and throw it in the air."

"Ok, you're up. Sam, we'll need you for recon and to help rescue the hostages. Wanda, we might be dealing with an oil spill.  You think you can help contain it?"

Wanda nodded. "Shouldn't be a problem."

"Ok," Natasha said, looking around the room. "Clint is on a fishing trip and said not to call unless aliens were invading, which leaves Steve and Sharon. Who's Bucky-sitting?"

"Excuse me?" Bucky glared at her.

"That was a private conversation, Romanoff," Steve chastised her. He turned to Bucky. "Sam and Natasha think that someone should stay behind when we deploy, just until you get settled. I agree," he glared at Natasha. "But I did not say they could call it Bucky-sitting."

"No, that's not insulting at all," Bucky said sarcastically.

"Sam said it," Natasha informed him.

"Thanks, throw me under the bus," Sam muttered. "You realize she does this on purpose."

"Insulting or not, who gets the job?" Natasha asked.

"I'll stay," Steve said. "You can run the op."

"Ok, if you're staying I'll need Sharon on the jet. One hour."

* * *

"Are you going to be ok staying here?" Sharon asked Steve as they assembled the equipment for the mission.

He handed Sharon a set of smoke grenades. "I'm not the one who's going to be shot at by terrorists."

"No, but I know you hate staying behind."

"It should be me," Steve said. "I need to spend some time with him anyway." Since discovering Bucky was alive, they had only spend about a week and a half together. Some part of him selfishly wanted to stay behind just so they could have a chance to talk alone.

"He spent two years on his own," Sharon reminded him. "Do you really think it's necessary to give him a handler?"

"I don't know," Steve sighed. "Maybe it's just me. I spent two years worrying that he was dead in a ditch somewhere and I'd never know it. I guess I'm afraid of losing him again."

Sharon wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him close. "You need to relax. He's here, he's not going anywhere."

"I wish I could believe that," Steve said. He held her close, breathing in the smell of her shampoo. He felt nervous letting her go on a mission without him. She was capable of protecting herself, but he had lost too many people he cared for not to worry.

"You know, it might not be a bad idea to turn this into a bedroom," Sharon said. "The house is getting a bit full and everyone's double bunked. Maybe it's time we clear out some of the storage rooms."

"And where would we store the gear and all the files?" Steve asked.

"The files could go in the attic, but if we cleared out this and the study, and moved this down to the basement, then Sam, Scott, Natasha, and Wanda could all have their own room. You could move into my room and Bucky could have a bed."

"What?" Steve felt his palms start to sweat.

"You move into my room." Sharon said again. "That would make the most sense," Steve tried to think of how to answer but nothing came out.

She sighed. "I know you're a little old fashion, but we've been together for a year and you're already living in my house. I'm just asking you to move across the hall"

"Can we talk about this when you get back?" Steve asked hurriedly.

"Fine," Sharon kissed him. "But we are going to talk about it," she promised. She picked up the bag to leave.

Steve took her hand. "I'm lucky to have you," he said.

"You are," she agreed with a coy smile.

He looked at her, taking in her deep brown eyes. "I mean it. I couldn't do this without your help, and I'm just lucky to have you."

"Well you're cute when you're in trouble." Sharon kissed him. "I need to go. Natasha's a stickler for time frames."

Steve watched her go, then wandered back to his room. Bucky was o the floor making notes in his journals.

"You have something?"

Bucky closed the book. "No, I thought I did for a minute, but it's gone."

"Come on, a little exercise will help you clear your head."

"Me or you?" Bucky asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're worried about your girl," Bucky said grinning.

"Of course, I am," Steve said. "I know she can handle it, but I'm always going to worry about her."

"So what happened to her anyway. She stole our stuff back from the CIA. She must have gotten in trouble for that."

"She did."

* * *

_**-Two Weeks After Berlin-** _

Sharon tapped her fingers impatiently on the metal table. She had been sitting here for an hour waiting on some unknown attorney. The handcuff chafed her wrist and the fluorescent lights were hurting her eyes. She couldn't guess at what they wanted, but whatever it was, she was inclined to give it to them just so she could leave this room. Her trial was still a month away and her lawyer had been adamant that pleading guilty was her best option. She wondered where Steve was. The only thing she could think of was that they were hunting him and they wanted to ask if she had been contacted. She hoped Steve was still out there and that her actions had not been in vain.

The door opened and a man in a suit entered. "Agent Carter?"

"It's just Sharon," she said.

"That's what I'm here to talk about. My name is Phil Coulson." Sharon stared at the man.

"Phil Coulson is dead," she said.

"So is Nick Fury, but I had lunch with him last week. I'm here to offer you your life back Agent Carter. SHIELD needs you."

"I'm done with SHIELD," Sharon told him.

"Hear me out. We're interested in you for a very specific assignment." Coulson opened an image of Steve and Sam Wilson entering an apartment building. "Officially, SHIELD has agreed to abide by the Sokovia Accords, but there are ways around that. We want to help."

"He's not going to trust SHIELD again," Sharon told Coulson.

"No, and he probably shouldn't, but he trusts you. We don't want to interfere, we just want to help him do what he does. We'd like you to be the official liaison to SHIELD for Rogers and his team."

"Who would I report to?"

"Me," Coulson said. "This is deep cover. No one will know about your assignment except my team. No one will even know that you've rejoined SHIELD"

"And what do you want from them?" Sharon pressed. Steve had rejected the Sokovia Accords because he believed the Avengers needed to be independent of any organization. He would never agree to be controlled by SHIELD.

"Nothing." Coulson answered. "You tell us what you need and we get it. You don't owe us anything, and we won't ask anything of you. We just want Rogers and his Avengers out there doing what they do best."

Sharon considered the proposal. It might be her only way out of here. "So let's say I take your deal. How does this work?"

"You get a pardon. We set you up with a safe house and whatever equipment you need, then we leave you alone. Simple as that. Let us know if you need anything and we'll get it for you, otherwise, you're on your own."

"Where is the safe house?" Sharon asked.

"Outside Baltimore. It actually belonged to Peggy Carter. She set it up in the 80's, but we haven't used it in decades. She left it to SHIELD in her will. It's been caught up in probate and we've arranged to have the deed signed over to you."

"Well," Sharon said. "I can't really say no, can I?"

* * *

_**-Baltimore-** _

Downstairs in the training room, Bucky fastened a pair of boxing gloves while Steve hung the heaviest punching bag they had. His metal arm was strong enough to punch through most of the normal weight bags and Steve's strength could nearly match it. Steve had had the bag specially made after Sharon had complained about having to replace them so often.

"So you kissed her once and then you moved in with her," Bucky said, surprised.

"Things move a lot faster these days." Steve said. "Not usually that fast, but living with your girlfriend isn't unusual."

"When did that change? Used to be you couldn't get them alone."

Steve shrugged in confusion and stood behind the punching bag to steady it for Bucky. "We missed 70 years. I don't know how dating works anymore.

"You never did," Bucky said, punching the bag. "I thought I did, though. So, if moving in together is normal, do people," Bucky gave Steve a look, hoping he wouldn't have to finish the sentence.

"What?" Steve asked.

Bucky sighed, he landed a hard punch with his left that pushed Steve back an inch. "You've kissed her, but is that all you've done?"

"I'm not following," Steve shook his head.

Bucky dropped out of his stance with an exasperated sigh. "Have you done the horizontal polo?"

"Oh," Steve laughed nervously. "Uh, no, we haven't done that yet."

"Have you ever?" Bucky resumed hitting the bag.

Steve shook his head. "Have you?"

Bucky started to laugh but stopped. His hands dropped and he looked at Steve with a puzzled expression. "I don't know. I would have told you, wouldn't I?"

"You never did," Steve said. "But you were always enough of a gentleman not to kiss and tell."

"I feel like I have, but I can't remember it," Bucky said. He could feel his pulse speed up.

Steve put a hand on his shoulder. "Relax pal, it'll come back to you."

Bucky nodded, trying to bring his breathing under control. It was frustrating not to remember something that important, but if he stayed calm, and focused on something else, it might come to him.

"Let's get back to you. No one? I mean, I know you didn't do anything before you went into the ocean, but afterwards, nothing?" Steve shook his head. "You were out for four years before you started dating Sharon. Don't tell me you just sat in your apartment looking at old pictures."

"No, I spent two years running around looking for you," Steve teased. "I dated a few girls, but there just wasn't anyone I felt that way about. Never went past a couple of dates. All the girls I went out with just saw me as Captain America. It was hard to actually connect with someone."

"Do you know how?" Bucky asked.

"I looked it up on the internet," Steve confessed. "Which you should not do," he added quickly. "There's some very disturbing stuff on there."

"So Sharon wants to, what's stopping you?" Bucky asked. He braced the bag for Steve to take a turn.

"I don't know," Steve said, hitting the bag halfheartedly. "I've never had a girlfriend before. I just don't know where to start. Every time I think about it, I get all nervous and I can't figure out what to do with my hands." He landed a hard right.

Bucky laughed. "You're still that skinny kid from Brooklyn." He leaned in. "Why not let her lead? You've never really been the aggressive type, just let her start it."

Steve frowned. "You think that would work?"

"That blond number in the SSR would have been a sure thing if you'd let that happen."

"That one you remember," Steve muttered, landing a punch on the bag.

"You told me about it," Bucky laughed. "You were panicking because Carter caught you."

"I should have introduced you two," Steve joked.

"Wait, that was her," Bucky said triumphantly. "You told me what happened and I went to go explain to her that you were you. She was impressed that I was friends with you, so I started telling her about escaping the HYDRA base and the Commandos. Then she took me behind the filing shelves.

"Really?" Steve teased. "I thought you had more self respect than that."

"I almost died in Austria and I was about to follow your reckless ass back out there. Self respect went out the window for a minute." Bucky thought back on the encounter. "I don't think it was her first time doing that, either."

Steve paused. "What was it like?"

"Didn't last very long," Bucky mused. "I mean it was good, but I thought there was going to be more of it. We were in kind of a hurry." Steve nodded. Bucky patted his shoulder. "You're thinking too much. Just let it happen. If she hasn't gotten fed up with you yet, you'll be fine."

"I hope you're right," Steve said.

"How exactly did you end up living with her anyway?"

* * *

**_-Three weeks after the RAFT-_ **

Wanda looked out the window of the apartment. "Sam and Clint should be back by now."

"They're not coming for us," Steve assured her, laying a hand on her shoulder. Wanda jumped in surprise. "You need to relax. They're not going to find us."

""I'm not going back there," Wanda said defiantly.

"You won't," Steve said firmly. "I'm not going to let that happen. And if it does, I'll break you right back out."

Wanda began to sob. "This is all my fault."

"Hey now," Steve said, putting his arms around her. She put her head on his chest, her tears soaking into his shirt. "This is not your fault. If you want to start blaming people, there's a long list before we even get to you. This goes back way before Lagos or anything you've ever done."

Wanda nodded, wiping her eyes.

"You ok?" She nodded again. "Look I know this isn't easy, but this is temporary. We'll find somewhere to go, but it won't be the RAFT."

"Hey Captain," Scott said from the couch. "Do you have any idea where that might be? I knew what I was getting into here, but it would be nice to have a plan."

"I'm working on it," Steve said, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. "I don't have a lot of practice at running from the law."

"I do," Scott admitted. "But my best strategy for staying out of jail was to not get caught in the first place and we're a little beyond that. And I managed to screw it up eventually anyway."

Steve looked at Scott. "Sam didn't tell me much about you," he suddenly realized. He knew Scott was one of the good guys, and that he had a bit of a checkered past, but they hadn't had much time for conversation.

"You want the long version or the short version?"

"Let's go with the short version for now."

"I was a burglar. I have a masters degree in electrical engineering and I used to use that to steal from other criminals and give that back to the people they took it from. Then I got married and we had a daughter and my wife asked me to give that up. She didn't want our girl growing up without a father. So I did for a while, got job. Then I found out they were robbing their customers blind. I tried to fix things the right way, but no one wanted to do the right thing, so I broke in and hacked the system."

"And you got caught for doing the right thing?"

"No, I got caught breaking into the CEO's mansion and driving his car into his pool. In hindsight, that might have been overkill. I spent three years in San Quentin. My wife divorced me and found a replacement."

"That's rough."

"Well he's a good guy, and we're ok. The whole Ant-Man thing actually helped."

"And you threw all that away to come help us?"

"Captain America needed my help," he said. "And I read the Sokovia accords. I was going to be a fugitive no matter what. I love Cassie but I was never going to be the father she needed. At least this way I still get to be her hero."

"You could have signed," Steve suggested. "Joined the Avengers."

Scott shook his head. "Hank Pym never would have let me do that. He tried too hard to keep Howard Stark from getting his hands on the suit. He wasn't going to let me hand it over to his son."

"You know, Tony's really not a bad guy," Steve said. "Sometimes he just gets so focused on trying to solve the problem at hand, he forgets to consider that the solution might cause something worse."

"You mean Ultron?" Wanda said.

"Ultron," Steve agreed. "And I'm pretty sure the Sokovia accords are going to end up that way."

"Let's hope so," Scott said.

Someone knocked on the door. Scott hunched down on the couch and Wanda's hands began to glow. Steve went to the door and looked through the peephole. A man and a woman were waiting there, each holding a briefcase. Steve put a finger to his lips.

"Captain Rogers?" the woman said in a British accent. "My name is Jemma Simmons. I'm with SHIELD."

Steve motioned for Wanda and Scott to hide. Scott crept toward the bedroom where his suit was, and Wanda hid behind the kitchen counter.

"SHIELD is gone," he said.

"That's not entirely true," the man said with a Scottish lilt. "We're from the de-HYDRA-ted part of SHIELD. And thank you for that by the way."

"We're on your side Captain. We're here to help," the woman said.

"How do I know you're not here to arrest us?"

"Do we look like we could?" the man asked. "Plus, I assume you have Ant-Man and the Scarlet Witch in there. We're just techs."

Steve looked back at the bedroom. Scott gave him a thumbs up and shrank. "I'm opening the door. Don't try anything." Steve opened the door and the two techs came in. From the way they walked, he could tell they had limited combat training. Lang probably could have handled them without the suit.

"Captain," the man said, holding out his hand. "It's an honor to meet you. I'm Leo Fitz. This is Jemma Simmons." Steve shook the man's hand. "I'm a huge fan."

"Thanks. So you said you were with SHIELD."

"It's a long story and I'm not at liberty to share all of it with you," Agent Simmons said. "But we want to help. We can't do much, but we've assembled a care package and a few other things that we think you'll find useful. A lot of your equipment was provided by Mr. Stark. We've put together some replacements." She set down the case.

"We also have a computer that is linked to SHIELD's intelligence network. It's programmed to run in the background so no one will be tracking it. Only about twelve people at SHIELD would even be able to find it and they won't think to look. This will allow you to track global threats, and once in awhile we might send you something we think you'll be interested in, but you won't be obligated to act on it."

"I also designed this for you." Agent Fitz said, handing Steve a wrist cuff. He turned it on. An image of his shield appeared. "It's not quite as effective as the Vibranium one. We tried to recreate that, but we couldn't figure it out. This should at least provide some protection."

"Thanks," Steve said, handing back the cuff. "But I think I'm done with Captain America."

"Oh I can change it's appearance." Fitz punched a few buttons and the shield changed colors to blue and yellow. "It does a few other things but you can read the manual. And if you need a new outfit we can fix that up for you too."

"We have one item that we weren't able to bring." Simmons handed Steve a control pad. "This is a control panel for your new Quinjet. It has a transponder that will lead you to the location. We've also arranged for a safe house in Maryland. The Quinjet has the coordinates for a secret hangar nearby where it can be stored."

"Wanda, Lang, you guys can come out now." Steve handed the control pad back to Agent Simmons. "Look, I appreciate your efforts here, and you seem like nice kids, but I have no intention of joining up with SHIELD, or with anyone again." He stepped forward to usher them out the door.

"Hang on!" Agent Fitz snapped, taking a step towards Steve. "You don't get to say that!"

Steve blinked, taken aback by the sudden outburst. "Excuse me?"

"We dedicated our lives to SHIELD, the right SHIELD, and then you went and blew up the whole thing, turned everyone into fugitives. My teammate turned out to be HYDRA and pushed us out of a plane in a locked box to the bottom of the ocean. We've been trying like hell to do the right thing and everyone's making it so damned impossible!" He shoved the wrist cuff into Steve's hands. "So you're going to take this stuff and you're going to be the Avengers, because you owe us that much!"

Steve stared at the cuff and then at Agent Fitz.

"We're not asking you to join us, Captain Rogers," Agent Simmons said quickly before Steve could respond. "We're asking to join you. Officially we will have no relationship. We're not here to give you orders, we just want to help you get back to work. The world needs you, and we need to feel like for once we're on the right side without worrying that the rug is going to get pulled out from under us in six months."

Steve played with the settings on the wrist band. "The last time I trusted SHIELD, I found out they were brainwashing my best friend into being their assassin. So you understand if I'm a bit wary. I'm sorry I put you out of a job, though."

"It was for the best," Agent Simmons said. "But we've spent so much time trying to salvage what's left and it keeps slipping through our fingers. We just wanted to help, and we thought that you'd be more effective if you weren't constantly moving around like some sort of nomad."

"We could use a jet," Scott said, reverting to normal size.

"And a base," Wanda said.

"Scarlet Witch and Ant-Man," Agent Fitz exclaimed. "I am a huge fan. Your abilities are incredible."

Steve saw a hint of a smile on Wanda's face. "Thank you."

"If we do this," Steve said, "we're in charge."

"Yes, absolutely," Agent Fitz assured him. "Total control. We're just the equipment guys."

"That's also the limit to how much we can help," Agent Simmons cautioned him. "If you get captured, we can't help you, and we'd expect you to disavow any knowledge of our involvement. This isn't even officially sanctioned by the director, but you have friends in high places."

"Ok," Steve said. "We're in. We need to wait for our people to get back."

"That's being taken care of."

* * *

"Who are these guys?" Sam asked as he and Clint ran down the sidewalk. Clint turned over several tables as they ran through a cafe.

"No idea, but they're good," Clint said.

"Agent Barton! Mr. Wilson! I'm Agent MacKenzie with SHIELD. I need to talk to you!"

"You really think I'm going to stop for that!" Sam yelled. In front of him, a woman stepped out of an alley and grabbed his arm, throwing him to the ground. Clint skidded to a halt.

"Agent May?"

"Agent Barton," she greeted him. She released Sam as Agent Mackenzie approached.

"We need to talk. SHIELD wants to help you."

"We took down SHIELD," Sam said.

"We reorganized," Agent May told him. "Without HYDRA. Thank you for that by the way, Mr. Wilson."

"No problem" Sam muttered, keeping an eye on Agent May. "What do you want?"

Agent MacKenzie handed him a cell phone with a GPS signal displayed on the screen. "We want to return the favor."

* * *

Steve led the team toward the hangar. There were two people waiting for him there. As they approached, he recognized the woman.

"Sharon!" he cried, running toward her. He swept her up in his arms, relieved to see her safe.

"I was starting to think you wouldn't come," she whispered.

Steve just held her. "I'm sorry," was all he could think to say.

"Did they explain what's going on?" she asked.

"Something about SHIELD helping us," Scott said as he and Wanda came up behind him. "The little guy talked a lot."

"Captain Rogers," the other person said.

Steve gaped. "Agent Coulson?"

"I wasn't sure you'd remember me."

"You're dead," Steve said in amazement.

"A lot of that going around," Coulson replied cryptically. "Fitz and Simmons should have explained the situation to you, Agent Carter can fill you in on the rest. I just wanted to tell you personally that I'm on your side when it comes to the Accords. Nick Fury intended for the Avengers to serve the greater good, not the agenda any organization, not even SHIELD. We're with you Captain. If you need anything, we'll be there."

"Thanks," Steve said, shaking Coulson's hand. "I'm glad you're back Phil. I don't suppose you have those trading cards with you."

"I'm collecting a new set. They got a bit damaged."

"We need to go," Sharon said. "Wilson and Barton are already on board."

"Let me know when you find them," Steve said as they boarded the jet.

* * *

**_-Venezuela-_ **

Bullets shattered the glass as they flew threw the air where Natasha's head had been moments ago. She fired twice and dropped two hostiles. Before the second bullet found it's target, she was on the move again, running toward the third man. He aimed his weapon and she went low, sweeping his feet. She kicked him in the face, knocking him unconscious. The fourth hostile was running for the door. She tossed a taser disk at him and he dropped to the ground.

"Bridge is secure," Natasha reported. "Sam, Wanda, status report."

"All clear in my sector," Sam reported.

"Engine room secure," Wanda replied.

"Scott, where are you on that bomb?"

"Uh, we have a problem," Scott said. "I tripped the timer."

Natasha cursed under her breath. "How much time do you have?"

"About two minutes," Scott said.

"Wanda and Sam move to Scott's location. Scott, shrink the bomb. Sam, you need to fly it as high as you can, Wanda, make sure it doesn't fall before it explodes.

"On my way up," Scott said. "Sam, I'll meet you on the deck.

Natasha watched, each second seeming to speed by. Finally, Scott emerged from the hold.

"30 seconds!" he yelled, handing a small pouch to Sam.

Sam took off without hesitation and shot up over the water. He arced back toward the ship and Wanda took over. A few seconds later, the sky lit up with the explosion. Natasha breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good job. Sharon, bring the jet around."

"Ok, so now that we have that solved, can we talk about you rolling over on me the other day?" Sam griped.

"Sorry, you're breaking up," Natasha said quickly.

"Romanoff!" Sam landed beside her on the deck as they waited for the others.

"It would have gotten back to him eventually," Natasha argued. "I was just expediting the process." 

"You don't think it was a little insensitive?"

"If you didn't want him to hear it, you shouldn't have said it," Natasha told him. "It's a small house and you of all people should be a little more sympathetic. "

"You know, you've been a pain in my ass ever since you joined us," Sam muttered.

* * *

**_-Two months after Leipzig-_ **

Natasha knocked on the door of the house. It was in a quiet neighborhood with quiet neighbors. Not the sort of place she would have chosen. Sam answered the door.

"Look what the cat dragged in."

"You left Sarajevo before I could contact you. Do you know how hard it is to get a transatlantic flight when you're a fugitive? How did you guys get across?"

"Get out," Sam said. "We don't need you here."

"No, I need you. I stopped the Black Panther from getting to Steve and now I'm a fugitive just like the rest of you. Even worse maybe, because I have some prior offenses that no one wants to forget about any longer."

Steve and Sharon came to see what was going on. "Natasha," Steve said.

"Steve, I know this is probably the last place I should come, but I didn't have any other option."

"It's good to see you Natasha," Steve said reluctantly. "But you're right, you probably shouldn't have come here."

"Yeah, the last time we saw you, you were helping Iron Man throw us in the RAFT," Sam said.

Steve looked at her for an answer. Natasha shrugged.

"If we hadn't come after you someone else would have, and they wouldn't have been as nice as we were."

"You call that nice?" Sam exclaimed.

"We handled this whole thing wrong from the beginning. All of us. It never should have come to that."

Steve nodded. "Did you hear what happened in Siberia?"

"I had to leave after Leipzig. Rhodey's alive by the way, paralyzed, but he made it."

Steve winced. No matter what side they had come down on, no one had wanted anyone to get hurt over it. To Natasha, it had only driven home the point that the Avengers needed to stay together. Now that seemed impossible.

"I heard on the news that they cleared Barnes for the UN bombing, and this Zemo guy is in custody. That's good at least."

Steve shook his head. "The whole thing was a set up. Zemo bombed the UN to flush out Bucky and get information about one of the Winter Soldier's missions."

"Which one?"

"Howard Stark," Steve said. Natasha could hear the pain in his voice. "There was never any threat. It was all a ruse to lure us there."

"That was Barnes?" she asked.

"Wait a minute," Sam interruped. "You guys knew about this?"

"Zola told us," Steve confessed. "He didn't say who the assassin was, but he told us that HYDRA arranged the accident. We thought it was about the Super Soldier Serum, but it was all a ploy to lure us there and get Tony to see the tape of his parents' murder."

Sam stared at them in disbelief.  "You knew Tony's parents were killed by HYDRA two years ago and you never thought to mention it to the guy?"

"I made a mistake," Steve admitted. "I didn't think he needed to carry that around, but I was wrong. He deserved to know. But I had no idea it was Bucky."

"It's not all your fault Steve," Natasha said. "I was there too. I could have told him and I didn't either."

"Doesn't matter now," Steve sighed. "There's no going back on this one."

"Give him time," Natasha said.

"I don't know. I think he kind of deserves to be angry about this one. If Bucky hadn't been there, I probably just would have let him beat me up, but Tony was going to kill him. I was just trying to give him a chance to get away."

"What did you do Steve?"

"It just got ugly. Bucky lost his metal arm tearing out the arc reactor and," Steve paused rubbing his forehead. "God, there was a second I thought I was going to kill him. I don't know if he's ever going to forgive me for this."

Natasha shook her head. "We've managed to bring down aliens, a god, HYDRA, and a killer robot, but a VHS tape tears us apart."

"The Sokovia Accords were already pushing us apart," Steve said.

"You let that happen, Steve." Natasha accused him. "This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I never liked the Accords. I just wanted the team to stay together, but you and Tony had to be so pig headed about everything. Sometimes you have to bend a little or you'll break."

"Well you seem to be flexible," Sam said sharply. "How did that work out for you?"

"How is following Rogers around like a puppy working for-"

"Ok," Sharon interrupted. "Sam, we're out of milk so you need to go to the store."

He scowled at her.  "Seriously?"

"Now," she ordered, pushing him toward the door. "And Steve, go make up the other bed in Wanda's room. Everyone is going to cool down before we continue this discussion."

Sam and Steve left to see to their assignments. Sharon led Natasha into the kitchen. She set a bottle of wine on the counter in front of Natasha.

"And you are going to open this for me."

"That's about how I thought that was going to go," Natasha said, twisting the corkscrew in.

"You can't really blame them," Sharon said. "It's been a rough couple of months for everyone."

Natasha poured the wine into the glasses that Sharon set out. "I don't think we've ever had an easy time. These guys have always been trouble."

Sharon drank about half of her glass in one sip. "That's not going to change anytime soon."

* * *

**_-Baltimore-_ **

Bucky circled around, waiting for Steve to give him an opening. Steve threw a left. Bucky ducked and struck a body blow with his right. Unfazed, Steve danced back and circled around. Bucky moved in and threw a left hook. Steve blocked and threw a left at Bucky's face.  Surprised by the move, Bucky ducked to the side and instinct took over. He grabbed Steve's arm and turned, driving an elbow towards his face. Steve blocked, but Bucky swept his leg and knocked him to the ground. Reflex made him follow up with a strike to the head. Steve rolled away and his fist hit the mat.

"Bucky! Snap out of it!"

Bucky charged, striking at Steve. Steve blocked and landed a kick square in Bucky's gut with enough force to send him into the wall. Bucky felt his head strike the padding, not hard enough to do any damage, but hard enough to stun him. He slid to the floor, dazed. Steve stood with his weight on the balls of his feet, panting for breath, but ready to move. Bucky looked at him confused.

"What was that?" Steve asked. Bucky could hear the fear in his voice. He shook his head to clear it.

"I don't know," he said. "You caught me off guard and I just reacted."

Steve offered Bucky his hand to help him off the floor. "I think that's enough boxing for today. Let's go watch a movie. You're still only up to the 1950's."

"I'm sorry," Bucky apologized, unfastening the glove. "I don't know what came over me, I just saw the attack."

"It's ok, but I think we should probably stick to the bag for a while." Steve forced a smile. "Let's watch something funny. I'm in the mood for a comedy."

* * *

**_-One Day Later-_ **

Steve sat in the living room watching the news. The team's mission hadn't made headlines, but they rarely did. Usually that was for the best, but Steve was hoping for an indication that things had gone well. They had agreed to maintain radio silence between the jet and the house for fear that it might be traced. He was expecting them back anytime now, but he would have liked to know that they were coming.

The door opened and Steve felt the knot in his shoulders loosen. He went to greet them. "Everything go alright?"

"Fine," Natasha said. "For future reference, Scott cannot disarm a bomb and we should just go directly to plan B."

"I almost had it," Scott muttered.

"I call the shower!" Wanda said, hurrying upstairs.

"Is there any ice cream left?" Scott asked, wandering into the kitchen.

Sharon kissed him hello. She was sweaty and her mouth tasted like coffee and hot sauce, but she was safe. "Everything go alright here?"

"Mostly," Steve said. The look in Bucky's eyes the other day still unnerved him.

"Something happen?" Natasha asked.

"Nothing serious," he replied. "You were right though, we shouldn't leave Bucky alone, at least not right now."

"Where is he?" Sam asked.

"Downstairs," Steve told them. Bucky had been there for hours. Steve was worried, but he felt like Bucky needed some time alone right now.

Sharon handed Steve a bag. "Come help me put this stuff up and then I need a shower." Steve followed Sharon upstairs to the equipment room. "Did you get a chance to talk to Bucky?"

"Yeah, it was different. He's different, but he's still Bucky. Sometimes." Steve set the bag on a table and handed Sharon a smoke bomb.

"What happened?"

"We were boxing. He used to be a welterweight champion at the YMCA. I thought it might help jog his memory, but we were sparring and I caught him off guard. He lost it for a moment and came after me full force. I knocked him into the wall and he came to, but it was scary how fast it happened. One minute he was Bucky, the next I was fighting the Winter Soldier. Sometimes it seems like nothing's changed and we're back in Brooklyn, then all of a sudden he doesn't know me."

"He'll get there," Sharon assured him. "Can you put this over there?"

Steve closed his hand around the item, but didn't move. He hesitated for a second, but leaned in and gave Sharon a long deep kiss.

"Good to see you too," she said, when he leaned back. "But I should probably brush my teeth first."

Steve reached up and put the leftover rations in a bin on the top shelf. "I was thinking about what you said before you left."

"Oh?"

"I'm not really ready to switch rooms, and I think Bucky needs me there. He still wakes up confused sometimes."

"I see," Sharon said.

"But I was thinking maybe I could, I don't know, visit sometimes," Steve said haltingly. "I mean, if you want."

"You could visit me tonight," Sharon suggested. "If you want."

Steve took a deep breath. "I should tell you I've never visited anyone before."

"I kind of figured." She hung the gear bag on the wall and kissed his cheek. "I'll be gentle."

* * *

Bucky hit the punching bag. Steve had told him that he had been a boxing champion before the war. Bucky couldn't remember that, but when he practiced on the bag, it felt familiar. He fell into a rhythm with the gloves, dancing around the bag as he struck. It was a simple motion. He resisted the reflex to do more. So much of his fighting skill was well beyond simple boxing technique. He tried to focus on the bag and stay in control of his actions. Letting instinct take over was how the Winter Soldier fought. It had been no more than reflex and muscle memory. No emotion or remorse. Hit hard, kill fast, accomplish the mission. No guilt or consequence.

He heard the door open and footsteps come down the stairs, but he focused on the bag. The Winter Soldier would have reacted. Bucky Barnes was going to finish his workout.

"Barnes, you down here?" he heard Wilson call from the stairs. Bucky stayed focused on his rhythm.

"Yo, Bourne Identity," Wilson called. "Give it a rest for a second."

Bucky caught the bag and turned to Wilson. "Can you just make a list of all the movies I need to see?"

"That one's a book too, just in case you can't figure out how to use Netflix," Wilson quipped. Bucky went back to punching the bag. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about the other day. I was out of line with that comment and I just wanted to apologize."

Bucky stopped, watching Wilson carefully.

"I do think you need to be supervised, but I could have put it a bit nicer."

Bucky shrugged and started unfastening his gloves. "Don't worry about it."

Wilson leaned against the wall. "Look, I know I've given you kind of a hard time, but I want to help, and unlike everyone else here, I actually have some idea what I'm talking about. I used to work at the VA with soldiers who had PTSD, so I'm familiar with what you're going through."

"What's PTSD?" Bucky asked.

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder," Wilson explained. "Back in your day, I think you used to call it shell shock. It happens to combat veterans a lot, and you've been through more than I've ever seen anyone survive. There's no shame in needing someone to talk to. Helps work through it. All that stuff you don't want to think about is probably the stuff you really need to get off your chest."

Bucky stared at Wilson cautiously.

"I know we're not exactly friends," Wilson continued. "And frankly, you scare the hell out of me, but one soldier to another, I'm just trying to help, because I know it's not easy to move past that kind of trauma. I mean, you'd probably rather talk to Steve-"

"Not all the time," Bucky admitted. "Sometimes I'm worried that if I tell him some of the things I've done, it'll change how he thinks of me."

"You have some dark stuff locked up in there," Wilson acknowledged. "And sometimes you need to talk to someone you don't know. Someone whose opinion you don't give a rat's ass about."

"You're right. I don't give a damn what you think about me," Bucky agreed.

"Well, if you ever need to say something you think Steve can't handle, you can come to me. My opinion of you could not get any lower, so you don't have to worry about disappointing me."

Bucky hung up the gloves on the wall. "Thanks. Really."

"You know," Wilson said. "I've seen dozens of people with problems like yours and it doesn't mean they're weak. It just means they've seen and experienced more than anyone should ever have to and they're trying to find a way to live with it."

Bucky didn't respond. He was touched by Wilson's offer, but he wasn't sure if there even was a way to live with what he'd done.

"Anyway," Wilson said, heading back to the stairs. "I really came down here to tell you to stop eating my Oreo's. If that box is gone tomorrow, I'm kicking your ass."

"You can try." Bucky called as Wilson retreated upstairs.

* * *

It was 2AM when Steve finally came to bed. Bucky was awake, reading through his journals. Steve looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Oreo?" Bucky said, holding out the almost empty package.

"Are those Sam's?" Steve asked. Bucky didn't answer and shoved the last two in his mouth. "Did you have a good workout?"

Bucky nodded, swallowing the cookies. "I think we need some better padding on the gloves. The left is wearing out." Steve's face was tight with concern. They hadn't spoken about the incident yesterday, but Bucky could tell Steve was worried.

"Where have you been?" Bucky asked.

"I was just helping Sharon unpack," Steve said evasively.

"Until 2AM?" Bucky asked skeptically. Suddenly it dawned on him. He smiled and went back to reading his journal. "Did you get everything in the right place?" He teased.

Steve squirmed uncomfortably as he climbed into bed. "Good Night, Bucky."

Bucky turned off the light and put the journal away. "Good Night, Steve."

_**-End-** _


	4. Widow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha takes a turn Bucky-sitting.

The room felt empty when Bucky awoke. Something was off. Instinctively he rolled into a defensive crouch. He looked at the bed and saw Steve was gone, then he saw the clock. It was well after nine; Steve would have been up for hours. Bucky relaxed and stood up.

He was usually up first, but he had been unable to sleep last night. Rather than stare at the ceiling, he had gone down to the training room to practice with the heavy bag. It had helped to clear his head and clearly left him exhausted enough to actually sleep for the first time in weeks. The episode in the training room had been weighing on his mind. It hadn't happened since, but sometimes he could feel himself slipping. The Winter Soldier was there under the surface, waiting for him to drop his guard.

He went downstairs, hoping there was still some coffee left. He was getting the hang of the modern kitchen gadgets, but the coffee maker still eluded him. Every attempt either came out too weak or too strong. He had tried to talk Steve into buying a percolator, but Steve had just laughed. He said if Bucky could figure out the microwave, he could learn to use the coffee maker.

For a moment, he missed his apartment in Bucharest. The little bakery down the street had always smelled of fresh bread and coffee. It had been calming to sit there and watch the people. He missed being able to go out and feel like he was part of the world, even if that world was strange and unfamiliar to him.

The kitchen was deserted. Usually at that time of day, half the house was in there. If anyone had made breakfast they had cleaned it up already. He checked the living room, but no one was there either.

"Steve?" he called. He ran down to the basement, but it was empty. Bucky stopped and forced himself to breathe. If they weren't here, they had to be on a mission. Steve would have left a note. He must have overlooked it. He went back upstairs as Natasha was coming in from the patio.

"Morning sleepyhead," she greeted him.

"Where is everyone?"

"We got a mission and we had to move fast. Steve said you went to bed late and he didn't want to wake you."

Bucky exhaled, feeling the surge of adrenaline start to ebb. "So how did you get stuck with guard duty?"

"I volunteered," Natasha said. "Steve sat out the last couple of missions and he looked like he needed the exercise."

Bucky nodded. It was good to be back together, but being in such close quarters all day was starting to wear on them both. Being on constant alert was clearly starting to get to Steve, and Bucky was starting to feel a bit caged up. "Did you leave any coffee?"

Natasha shook her head. "Just finished the last of it."

Bucky sighed and looked apprehensively at the kitchen, preparing himself for another battle with modern technology.

"You know, it's just the two of us, why don't we go out for breakfast," Natasha suggested.

"Go out?" Bucky asked hopefully.

"Yeah, Wanda and I went to this cute little place on the water last month that I've been meaning to go back to. It's right by the mall. We can get you some new clothes while we're out."

Bucky remembered that he was still borrowing Steve's. "Are you sure it's safe?"

"I don't think anyone's looking for you right now, and you seem to have a better idea of how to stay off the radar than Steve does anyway."

"That's true," Bucky agreed. Even during the war Steve had never really gotten the hang of keeping a low profile.

"Well, let's get moving."

* * *

"Are you sure about this hairstyle?" Bucky asked as they entered the cafe. Natasha had put his hair in a bun. He felt stupid and he was sure it looked even worse. Natasha was wearing a yellow fedora. They both looked ridiculous.

"It'll attract all the attention and no one will be looking at your face," she said.

"Still, the fake glasses might have been overdoing it," Bucky said adjusting them. They were probably a good disguise, but they kept slipping.

Natasha brushed a loose strand of hair back. "You'll blend right in."

Bucky looked around and noticed that she was right. He saw at least two other men dressed in a similar manner, right down to the plaid shirt and scruffy beard. "Let's just not sit near any reflective surface."

"That's not fair," Natasha teased. "How come I have to look at it and you don't?"

"Because you picked it out."

They took a seat in the corner. Bucky studied the menu for a few minutes and then looked at Natasha. "I just want black coffee. Which one of these things is that?"

Natasha reached over and pointed at one. "Americano. It's espresso with hot water but it's basically the same thing."

"I'll have that. What are you getting?"

"Um, the breakfast croissant sandwich," she said. Bucky turned the menu over to look for it but the crepe section caught his eye. He remembered trying those in France once during the war.

"What's Nutella?" he asked. "Is it something I want on a crepe?"

Natasha looked at him in disbelief. "You were hiding out in Europe and you never tried Nutella? Oh you'll love it."

"Yeah, but what is it?"

"Just trust me," Natasha said.

Bucky looked at the rest of the menu, but decided to take Natasha's advice. There were so many things he was unfamiliar with. If he tried it, at least he would know.

"So what else have you never tried?" Natasha asked, after the waitress had taken their order.

"How would I know?" Bucky shrugged. "I guess anything invented since 1945."

Natasha smirked. "We're going to have some fun."

"Well it's just nice to be out in public again," Bucky said. He couldn't ignore the instinct to watch his surroundings for danger, but being around people again was exciting.

"So what were you doing in Bucharest?" Natasha asked without preamble. "And why didn't you contact Steve? You know he was going out of his mind looking for you."

"Are you always this nosy?" he asked evasively.

"I find the more you know about something the less you need to fear it."

"You don't seem like you're afraid of me," Bucky said. The waitress came back with their drinks. Bucky took a sip of his as he waited for her to leave. Natasha stirred in a packet of sugar.

"Not a lot scares me," she said. "I know a lot about a lot of things. And I know I can almost take you in a fight."

"Almost." He smiled.  He felt a small twinge of pride, remembering that she was one of the most dangerous spies in the world. "Though that electromagnetic disk was a neat trick. Hurt like hell."

"So can you actually feel with that arm?"

"Kind of," he said. "I don't usually feel pain, but the electrical shock went right up to my shoulder. I can sense how delicate things are so I can pick them up without crushing them. Unless I want to."

"So you never answered my first question. Why didn't you contact Steve?"

"I don't really know," Bucky said. "When HYDRA fell and I was free, I didn't know who I was. All I had to go on was what Steve said, my name and who he was. I spent two years trying to piece my life back together. My memory was kind of in and out. I didn't know who to trust."

"Do you trust me?"

The waitress brought their food which gave Bucky a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I don't know you," Bucky said. "I know you're Steve's friend, but he doesn't exactly seem to trust you either. I know I tried to kill you once."

"Once?" Natasha balked. "We're up to three times now."

"Leipzig doesn't count." He cut into the crepe with his fork and took a bite. "Oh my God, this is amazing."

"Told you, but I meant Berlin. No one was trying to kill anyone in Leipzig. You're still down by one."

"Berlin is a little hazy," Bucky admitted. "But I wasn't trying to kill you in Odessa, I was trying to kill the other guy. If I'd wanted you dead, I could have done it."

"Good to know." Natasha sipped her drink but didn't take her eyes off him. "So you were trying to kill me in DC? Because you sort of missed.

"I didn't miss," Bucky said. "I couldn't get a clear shot, so I had to stop you and get to a better vantage point. Luckily Steve interrupted."

"Yeah," Natasha said. "I feel lucky. I can't wear strapless dresses anymore. Not many people scar me for life."

"Wait," Bucky said. "Why am I telling you all this?"

Natasha smirked. "It's my superpower, getting people to talk."

"And how did you come by that?"

"I was with the KGB. Ever hear of the Red Room?"

Bucky nodded. He'd had worked with the Russians when it suited HYDRA and against them when it hadn't. Along the way he had encountered some of the darker sides of the KGB. "I'm familiar with the training methods. Some of it makes what they did to me look like Boy Scout camp."

"I defected to SHIELD until that turned out to be HYDRA. Then all I had left was the Avengers, until Tony and Steve torpedoed that."

"Why did you help us in Leipzig?"

"Because at the time, with the information we had available, it was the right thing to do. I don't like the Sokovia Accords. Steve's right, they get in the way. I just wanted the team to stay together. Steve isn't really the compromising type."

"No he's not," Bucky agreed.

"Has he always been like that?"

"Who? The 90 pound shrimp who used to pick fights with guys twice his size for running their mouths? Stupid idiot wouldn't stay down until he was half unconscious. If I had a nickle for every time I found him in an alley with a bloody nose I could pay for this coffee."

"Did you see the price?" Natasha asked.

"I did," Bucky confirmed. " And I might even have enough left to add a flavor shot."

* * *

Bucky looked at his reflection in the dressing room mirror. "Are they supposed to be this tight?"

"Yes," Natasha said. She was holding her phone at an odd angle. Bucky made a mental note to ask Lang or Wanda to explain smartphones to him.

"I can barely move. Do they have anything looser?"

"Of course," Natasha said. "I just wanted to see how you look in skinny jeans."

Bucky scowled. "If you're just going to make fun of me-"

"Oh come on," she grinned. "You need to stay up to date with current trends. It looks ridiculous but it's not a half bad disguise. No one is going to look twice at the hipster with the manbun."

"Maybe if these were a size bigger so I could actually walk." He looked at the mirror. "I need a jacket," he said, holding up his metal arm. Natasha handed him a thin zip up sweatshirt with a hood. It was tight, but it had pockets, which would help hide his hand.

"There you go. Even better."

"This was a lot easier in the 40's." Bucky commented.

Natasha laughed. "Try on the other stuff. The relaxed fit jeans are probably more your style."

* * *

"Oh stop complaining," Natasha said as they left the last store. "It looked good on you."

"I don't think those pants are supposed to look good on anyone," Bucky remarked as a group of teenage boys passed. "When did men's clothes get complicated?"

"Some time in the 70's I think," Natasha said. "Be glad you missed that decade."

"I think I have some vague memories from that decade. There was a lot of hair and bright colors."

Natasha frowned. "That could have been the 80's. Also not a decade you would have enjoyed shopping in."

"Everyone used to just wear a suit. Only the broads had to worry about this stuff."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Now that we've updated your look, we need to work on your vocabulary."

A loud bang made Bucky and Natasha pause.

"That was gun fire," Natasha said. They ran towards the noise. As they approached, crowds below them were fleeing the scene, but many shoppers had taken shelter in the stores. They ducked behind a pillar. Below them on the bottom floor two men were firing hand guns randomly at the storefronts.

"Are you armed?" Natasha said.

"Just a knife," Bucky said. He needed to talk to Steve about that. He was dangerous without any weapons, but he had grown so used to having a gun with him and he felt exposed without one.

"I don't have a clear shot." Natasha handed him a gun. "You're the better sniper. I'll flush them out and draw them away from the crowd. Try not to kill them." Bucky handed her his knife.

"Ok, go."

Natasha vaulted over the railing. Bucky leaned out to look for a target but Natasha already had one of the men on the floor. The other was out of his view. Bucky shot the first man once in each hand and again in the leg. He heard Natasha attack the other man, forcing him into range. Bucky shot him in the shoulder. Natasha kicked him in the jaw and he dropped to the ground. Bucky shot him again in the hand. He ran down to catch up with Natasha, who was already heading for the door. As he passed the second man, he kicked as hard as he could, dislocating the man's knee. He fired again into the man's other hand and slipped the gun in his bag. They ran out and faded into the terrified crowd. Bucky caught up to Natasha, careful to remain a step behind.

"Break and meet me back at the Metro," she instructed. Bucky peeled off and ran the opposite direction. He could already hear sirens in the distance. They would be long gone before the police got there, but he didn't want to take chances.

Natasha was waiting for him at the Metro station. They boarded the car, sitting on opposite ends and avoiding eye contact. They disembarked at their stop and walked a few blocks before Natasha stopped to wait for him.

"So how does it feel to be a hero?" she asked.

It suddenly occurred to Bucky that this was the first time he'd fought to protect anyone since the war. "Good," he said unable to hide a smile. "But let's not tell Steve about this."

"Agreed," Natasha said. "You want to go out for dinner? I know a great Thai place. I bet you haven't tried Thai."

"Let's just order a pizza."

* * *

It was late when the team arrived home. A group of enhanced individuals had decided to use their powers to go on a crime spree. It had been a relatively short fight, but they had taken a beating before they managed to win.

"I want to soak in a hot bath for a week," Scott moaned as they trudged through the door.

"Me first," Sam said.

"No way, I called it," Scott replied wearily.

"Maybe we should look into getting a hot tub," Sharon suggested, rubbing the bruise that had formed on her arm.

"No arguments here," Wanda groaned, stretching her back.

"Bucky? Nat?" Steve called. He felt bad about leaving without saying anything, but it had been imperative that they move quickly. He heard the TV in the living room. Bucky and Natasha were sitting on the couch watching I Love Lucy.

"Hey, how was the mission?" Natasha asked. "You guys look like hell."

"Eh, we'll recover. How was your day?"

"Oh you know, we just sat here watching TV," Natasha said. "Ordered a pizza."

Steve picked up the remote and flipped to the news.

"And more developments on the shooting today at the Inner Harbor. The two gunmen are in stable condition after being stopped by two bystanders. Both gunmen sustained multiple nonlethal gunshot wounds. Six other people were injured in the attack but are all expected to survive. Eyewitness reports described one of the bystanders as matching the description of former Avenger Natasha Romanoff, AKA the Black Widow. The other was described as a Caucasian male standing about 5'10". Police have not confirmed the report but did release security footage showing the woman suspected to be Romanoff attacking the gunmen. Both fled the scene before police arrived."

"Quiet, huh?" Steve pressed. Natasha smiled at him.

"We went out for breakfast and I figured we should get Bucky some new clothes. We were having fun until someone decided to shoot up the Gallery."

Steve sighed. "Well no one recognized Bucky so we're probably ok. With us being out of town today, they might not make a connection."

"Good thing I bought him that hoodie," Natasha said.

"I'll talk to Coulson and see if he can spread some false reports," Sharon said. "Make it look like she's on the move."

"You're not mad are you?" Natasha asked.

Steve shook his head. "I think we all would have done the same. Did you have a chance to buy anything?"

"Yeah, we got some great stuff." Natasha took out her phone and pulled up a picture. In it, Bucky was wearing a pair of red skinny jeans and a blue tank top. Steve burst out laughing. Bucky grabbed the phone.

"Wait, this thing has a camera!" Bucky cried.

Natasha snatched the phone back and jumped off the couch grinning. She handed it over to Sam who doubled over with laughter before showing it to Scott and Wanda. "You got him to wear skinny jeans!"

Scott and Wanda were laughing so hard, they were gasping for breath. Even Sharon, who was trying to be polite, had trouble keeping a straight face.

"You should have gotten them," Steve laughed. "No one would ever recognize you dressed like that!"

"I don't have to take that from someone who thinks a baseball cap makes him invisible," Bucky shot back.

"At least I don't have a manbun," Steve teased.

"That's it, I'm cutting my hair," Bucky declared, storming out of the living room.

"You know," Steve said trying to catch his breath. "I don't think he's had a haircut since 1945."

Sam's face lit up. "Oh he's in for a shock. Please let me take him."

Steve shook his head, still struggling to contain his laughter. "I'd better go talk to him."

Steve found Bucky in the kitchen pouring Hershey's Syrup into a glass of milk. "Are you ok?" he asked, trying not to laugh again.

Bucky took a sip of his milk. "Does she do stuff like this a lot?" To Steve's relief he sounded more annoyed than angry.

"All the time," Steve confirmed. "She did the same thing to me after we formed the Avengers."

Bucky chuckled. "Does she have a picture?"

"I made her delete it," Steve said. He put a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I'm glad you're ok."

"I was on my own for two years," Bucky reminded him. "I'm not helpless. Except for that coffee maker."

"I know," Steve conceded. "But it's hard to shake the fear that I'll come home and you won't be here."

"I did go out in public when I was in Romania," Bucky said, an edge of agitation in his voice. "I get that we're trying to keep a low profile, but I'm pretty good at staying hidden. It's no accident that the Winter Soldier was a myth, or that you couldn't find me."

"I know, that's what scares me," Steve confessed. "You could leave and I'd never find you again."

"I'd be alright though," Bucky told him. "If I had to leave."

Steve knew he meant that to be reassuring, but he couldn't shake the fear that if he let Bucky walk out the door it would be the last time they saw each other.

"After the dust settles from this, we'll try to get out more," Steve promised. He chuckled, thinking of the picture again. "You should have bought that outfit. It would have made a great disguise."

"We did," Bucky mumbled.

Steve laughed. "Wow, that sales girl must have been cute."

"It was a guy," Bucky told him. "But I do think he was hitting on me."

Natasha came in and held her phone out to Bucky. "It only seemed fair to show you what I did to Steve when he was unfrozen."

In a panic, Steve made a grab for the phone. Bucky took it and held it away from him.

"You told me you deleted that! I watched you."

"Yeah, but before I did I texted it to Tony."

"What the hell are you wearing?" Bucky laughed.

"Nat said horizontal stripes were in," Steve groaned. "Not sure how she talked me into those shorts."

Bucky pushed him back and ran to the living room. "Did you guys see this?"

Steve glared at Natasha. She smiled back innocently. "We did have fun."

"I think he needed that," Steve admitted.

"I think you need to let him off the leash more," Natasha argued. "Keeping him locked up here isn't doing him any good. You have to let him have some of his freedom back."

"You're saying I'm being overprotective?"

Natasha nodded. "Just a little. A day trip to another city wouldn't be a bad idea. I'm sure he'd love to visit Six Flags. Or just let him go to the store for groceries once in awhile."

Steve nodded. "You're right. I'm going to take a shower before Scott gets to it."

* * *

Natasha pulled the strap of her top aside and ran her fingers over the scar on her shoulder. She slipped a hand down to her stomach and felt the scar on her abdomen. The man who had given her these was living across the hall now. For all her bravado, she couldn't help the flutter of unease that she felt every time he entered the room. She reminded herself that she was one of the few people to encounter the Winter Soldier and live. Not many people could say that, but then not many people could say that about the Black Widow either.

There was a knock on her door. "Who is it?"

"Bucky," he called. Even his voice sent a shiver through her. "I forgot to return your gun."

Natasha opened the door. "Thanks, I forgot about that," she said, taking it from him.

"I'm sorry that had to get complicated," he said.

Natasha shrugged.  "This job usually ends up like that. At least we were there to stop it."

Bucky's eyes grew distant. It took Natasha a minute to realize her strap had slipped and he was staring at the scar on her shoulder. "It doesn't hurt," she said quickly, fixing her top to cover the mark.

Bucky leaned against the door frame with a pained expression on his face. He looked tired. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"You don't have to-"

"Yeah, I do," he interrupted. "Most of the people I was sent after aren't around for me to apologize to. I ruined so many lives and there's never going to be a chance for me to fix any of it."

He looked at her. That intense, predatory glare she had seen in DC was etched in her memory, but she didn't recognize the eyes she saw now. The empty mechanical gaze had softened, replaced by sorrow and remorse. The sharp steel color was still there, but it was tempered by an uncertainty that the Winter Soldier had never shown her.

"I'm sorry," he said again louder. He looked like he might say more, but he shook his head. "I don't know what else I can do."

Natasha put her hand on his arm. "You don't need to do anything. It's been a long day and I think we both need some sleep."

"Good night," he said.

"Night."

Natasha closed the door and sat on the bed with the gun in her hand. She had watched Bucky with it today. All the skill of the Winter Soldier was still there, but now there was the restraint of a man who had seen that skill misused. She didn't know if the Winter Soldier was gone for good, but she knew the man across the hall was something else. She wondered if he would ever believe that.

**-End-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If anyone is artistically inclined and wants to illustrate hipster Bucky, that would be hilarious.


	5. For What it's Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky remembers a mission as the Winter Soldier. Peggy Carter and the Howling Commandos feature as Bucky struggles to reconstruct the memory.
> 
> Author Note: Song Credit: "For What it's Worth" - Buffalo Springfield.

**_-Baltimore-_ **

"That was great Wanda," Sharon said, sopping up the last of the sauce with a piece of bread.

"Thank you, it's been a while since I made it," Wanda said. "I wasn't quite sure I remembered the recipe."

"Anytime you want to practice it, feel free," Sam said.

Sharon stood. "And it's Steve's night for dishes."

Before Steve could protest, everyone had cleared out to the living room. Bucky stayed behind. It had been weeks since he had joined them, and although he was starting to bond with the rest of the team, there were times when he still preferred to stay close to Steve.

"Hey Bucky, can you dry for me?" Steve asked.

Bucky helped carry the dishes to the sink while Steve ran the water. "I know I'm a bit behind on technology, but doesn't that thing do this for you?" he asked, pointing to the dishwasher.

Steve eyed it nervously. "I still can't figure out how to load it right and then Sharon gets mad at me. It's just easier to do it this way."

Bucky laughed. "The mighty Captain America, thwarted by a dishwasher."

"Oh, this from the man who still can't use the coffee maker?" Steve teased.

Chuckling, Bucky turned on the radio and took a towel out of the drawer.

_~there's a man with a gun over there, telling me I got to beware, I think it's time we stopped children what's that sound~_

* * *

**_-?-_ **

It was warmer than usual when he opened his eyes. He knew that. He didn't know where he was, but he knew it should be colder. He heard voices arguing.

"The Winter Soldier was not created for this sort of assignment," a man said in a German accent. He knew the voice. "He was made to follow orders, to be an assassin, he is not suited to espionage!"

"Your opinion is noted Dr. Zola," an older man said. American, unidentified. "But HYDRA feels the Winter Soldier is underused. We need to test him."

"If you leave him unsupervised his conditioning could begin to deteriorate," Zola warned insistently.

"Do you know that Doctor or is that just speculation?"

"That is my expert opinion," Zola insisted. "I have been working on this project for 20 years. He has never been tested on a long term assignment. I cannot guarantee his conditioning will hold.

"HYDRA would like to know for sure. It's time to test your weapon."

The soldier opened his eyes, his vision slowly clearing as he flexed his fingers to work out the cold. His left arm felt strange. He looked down to see a stub of frayed metal. Two men hoisted him out of the tube and carried him to the machine. He remembered this. Before he could try to run, they shoved a piece of plastic between his teeth and strapped him to the chair. The electric pads lowered on to his face and the world went white with blinding pain.

* * *

**_-Baltimore-_ **

"Buck?" Steve's voice was tight with concern. Bucky realized he was kneeling on the floor, hanging onto the edge of the counter. Steve was kneeling beside him.

"I'm ok," he said shakily, trying to fight the wave of nausea. Just the memory of the machine was enough to turn his stomach.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"The radio," Bucky said, struggling to his feet. "The song reminded me of a mission."

The song was over but Steve turned off the music anyway. "Tell me."

Bucky tried to collect his thoughts. "I don't know really," he paused. "I just saw flashes of waking up, then the machine. I can't remember what happened after that." Steve handed him a glass of water. "Zola was there. He was arguing with someone. They wanted to use the Winter Soldier for a spy mission"

"Do you remember what?"

Bucky shook his head. "It's gone." He stood up slowly and picked up the towel. "Let's get these dishes finished."

"I can manage," Steve said. "Go sit down."

"I can do it." Bucky insisted picking up a damp plate. "Let's just get these done and go downstairs. I feel like I need to hit something."

* * *

**_-?-_ **

His mind was static. His thoughts and memories were a chaotic jumble without order. A man was standing in front of him, speaking Russian. "Longing, Rusted, Seventeen." He felt the static clear with each word. "Daybreak, Furnace, Nine, Benign." Like a radio being tuned to the right frequency, his mind began to quiet. "Homecoming, One, Freight Car." The man paused. "Good morning Soldier."

"Ready to comply," the soldier responded. Everything had come into focus. He waited for his orders.

The handler stepped aside and a man in a suit came forward. "We have a mission for you. You are to infiltrate and report back. We have removed your arm for this mission. Your target is this woman." He handed the soldier a picture. "Her name is Jenna Holman. She's an activist at UC Berkeley. Infiltrate her group, report back on what they know, and wait for further orders. Your cover is a war veteran, you lost an arm in the war. If asked. you will use the name James Farewell."

"James Farewell," the Soldier repeated. He didn't remember having a name. This one didn't sound right, but he had his orders.

"You'll be briefed on the current situation. Infiltrate and report back within 96 hours."

"Understood"

* * *

The soldier stood in the quad, waiting for his target. The target had a class in the building at the South end and should be passing this way in a few minutes. She had an hour before her next class which would leave her time to talk. His mission was to get an invitation to a meeting and report back on what he learned. Students began to file out of the building. He spotted the target and moved to intercept. She paused at a bulletin board to post a flier. The Soldier moved in.

"Hi, do you have a minute?" The target turned. She seemed shocked at first but she smiled at him.

"Sure thing, man," she said, brushing her long hair back over her shoulder. "What's happening?"

"I'm thinking about applying here and I'm trying to find my way around. Do you know where Bancroft Library is?"

"Right behind you." She pointed to a building, trying to hide a smile.

The Soldier rubbed his neck sheepishly. "That's embarrassing." He laughed, hoping she would find it appealing. Girls usually did. The target smiled.

"If you want I could show you around," she offered.

"Don't you have class?"

"It's just math," she said. "I'll blow it off."

He nodded. "Can I buy you lunch?"

"Sounds righteous!" She extended her hand. "I'm Jenna."

The soldier shook her hand. "Jimmy."

* * *

**_-Baltimore-_ **

"Jenna," Bucky said, waking suddenly. He lifted up his arm. It was there. They would have reattached it after the mission. It hadn't been the first arm he'd lost but what had happened to it?

"Bucky?" Steve mumbled.

"Sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"I wasn't sleeping well anyway," Steve yawned. "What's up?"

Bucky rubbed his metal arm. "I remembered something. That song earlier, it reminded me of a girl."

"That song is from the 1960's," Steve said, still half asleep

Bucky touched his shoulder where metal met flesh. "So was she."

* * *

**_-Berkeley, California-_ **

"Do you come here often?" The Soldier asked as the waitress set the pizza on the table. He took a slice

The target brushed her hair behind her shoulder. It kept slipping. "Yeah, everyone hangs out here. It's a groovy place. Have you had pizza before?"

"I'm from New York," the soldier laughed. He took a bite of the pizza. She was talking to him and he needed to keep her trust.

"Far out," she said, taking a slice from the tray. "I hope this lives up. So what has you out here in California?"

The Soldier shrugged. "I needed a change. Seemed like a nice place."

"What are you going to study?"

"I don't know," he said. "I've never had to decide what to do with my life before. I joined the army right out of high school and I only left because they couldn't use me anymore."

She looked at his left shoulder, a pained look spread across her face. "Did you lose your arm in the war?" The soldier nodded with a mouth full of pizza. "How did it happen?"

He stared off at the wall. He didn't remember how it had happened. "I don't know," he said. "I just remember waking up without it."

"At least you woke up," the target said bitterly. "My brother was in the war. He didn't come back."

"I'm sorry," the soldier said. According to the file, her brother was the key to gaining her trust. He needed to play on her emotions.

"Me too," she said. "It was pointless. We're not even fighting for anything."

"You miss him a lot, don't you?"

The target wiped a tear away from her eye. "He was planning to go here when he got out. I feel like I'm always looking for him."

"I know what you mean," the Soldier said. "I lost my friend in the war. That's why I had to leave Brooklyn. I was always waiting for him to come around the corner."

"Hey if you're around for a while you should come check out my group." The target gave him a flyer. The Soldier examined the information.

"A protest group?"

"It's a bit more than that, but come check us out tomorrow night." The Soldier put the flier in his pocket.

"I might."

* * *

The Soldier opened the heavy door and entered the vault. A man pointed a gun at him from a catwalk. The Soldier didn't flinch. They wouldn't kill him while he was still useful.

"Mission report." The man in the suit said.

"I have made contact and gained her trust. The target invited me to a meeting tomorrow night," he reported.

The man in the suit walked forward clapping slowly. "Excellent. You see, Dr Zola, I told you he was up to the challenge. Twenty-four hours and he's already managed to infiltrate them."

Zola scoffed. "It has been only one day. He will start to degrade with excessive use."

* * *

**_-Baltimore-_ **

"Zola," Steve said. "I wish that guy was still alive so I could kill him again."

"He was right," Bucky said. "I started to crack. I spent a week trying to get the information they wanted, but they made the mistake of letting me have an identity."

* * *

**_-Berkeley-_ **

The Soldier had his arm around the target's shoulder as they walked. _Jenna._ Something in his mind said. Her name was Jenna.

"Let's go dancing," the Soldier suggested. "I think I can still manage with one arm."

Jenna laughed. "Dancing? You sound like my dad!"

The soldier chuckled. "Ok, not dancing."

Jenna put both her arms around his waist. "Let's go hang out back at my place."

They sneaked in the back of the dorm. Jenna led him to her room. "Jaime?" She called. No one answered. "I guess she's at the library. Which means we have a few hours."

"For what?" the Soldier asked. Jenna kissed him. The soldier returned her kiss hesitantly. He couldn't remember kissing anyone before, yet it felt familiar. The smell of her hair was intoxicating. It was different than what he thought it should be, but delicious, earthy and fragrant. She slid a hand under his shirt and started to lift it up. He let her help him with it. He tried to remove hers but fumbled with the buttons.

"Sorry, I'm still getting used to having only one hand."

Jenna removed her own shirt and kissed him. He touched her, feeling the soft skin. It felt like something from another time, a time before the cold, before the metal, before the machine, a time when things were warm and soft and bright. He couldn't remember if there had ever been such a time, but something deep in him knew that sensation. Feelings he hadn't known as long as he could remember bubbled to the surface. He kissed her neck, tasting the sweet earthy scent of her skin.

"Jimmy!" She moaned. Jimmy surrendered himself to the moment.

* * *

**_-Baltimore-_ **

"So back in DC, that wasn't the first time you started to remember," Steve said.

Bucky shook his head. "No, I think it's happened a few times, though as I got older there were fewer triggers out there. The world got less familiar. If you hadn't been frozen I might never have snapped out of it."

"How far did it go?"

* * *

**_-Berkeley-_ **

Jimmy lay in bed beside Jenna, happy for the first time he could remember. "I have to go to class, but I'll see you tonight," told him said. Jimmy watched her as they got dressed, studying every curve of her body.

The door opened and an Asian woman with long hair came in. "My dad is coming, I was here all night." The woman looked at Jimmy. "Never mind, I was at the library studying all night." There was a knock. The woman opened the door. "Dad!"

"Hi Mr. Morita." Jenna greeted him.

The man stared at Jimmy. "Men's dorm is across the Quad, Ace."

"This is my friend Jimmy," Jenna introduced him. "He came to pick up a book. Jaime was at the library."

"If I believe that, I'd be worried." The man reached out to shake Jimmy's hand. "Jim Morita"

"Jimmy Farewell."

Morita looked at him carefully. "Army?"

"Yes sir," Jimmy replied.

Morita nodded. "I thought so. You have that look. What unit?"

"107th," Jimmy said without thinking, it seemed right but he couldn't say why.

"No kidding," Morita said with a grin. "Me too."

"Dad served with Captain America, never shuts up about it," Jaime said.

"We need to be going. Nice to meet you Jimmy."

* * *

**_-Baltimore-_ **

"Jim Morita?" Sharon asked after Steve finished explaining the situation to the team the next morning. She looked at Bucky. "And he didn't recognize you?"

"Actually I think he did," Bucky said.

"We need to go to DC," Steve told them. "Jim's daughter lives there. She might remember something, or maybe he left a journal."

"Maybe," Nat said. "But it's a long shot."

"It's the best lead we have," Steve said.

"You know they're probably watching her," Sharon cautioned them.

"Probably," he agreed. "But we have to try. Sam you're in charge."

Sam clapped his hands together. "Ok, Tic-Tac, you find something good on Netflix, Wanda, you get the popcorn started. Battle Stations people, let's go," he ordered as he herded them off.

"I could go with you," Sharon offered.

"No, Bucky and I need to do this alone," Steve said. "But thanks." He kissed her tenderly.

"Can you give me a date? Aunt Peggy left some journals I've been meaning to go through. There might be something there."

"Worth a shot."

"Whenever Buffalo Springfield was popular, in the spring," Bucky told her.

"I'll see what I can find. Good luck." Sharon kissed him goodbye. Steve headed toward the door. Bucky was smirking.

"We really need to find you a girlfriend so you can stop obsessing over my love life."

"What? I'm happy for you. The guy I used to know could barely say 'hi' to a dame."

"They don't like being called dames anymore. Not sure they ever did really, but we'll work on updating your moves." Bucky laughed as they headed to the car.

* * *

**_-Washington DC-_ **

"You guys are taking a big risk coming here," Jaime Morita said. "You know this place is bugged. We have about two hours."

"We figured, but it's important."

"It must be, you two are on Interpol's top 10."

"Do you think we should be?" Steve asked.

Jaime shrugged. "All I know is Dad would have died in Austria if it hadn't been for you, Rogers. I owe you one."

"What do you know about me?" Bucky asked, his voice tense with shame and remorse.

"They said you're an assassin for HYDRA." Jaime said. "I call bullshit."

"It's true," Bucky said. "I was."

"I know," Jaime said. "I spent half my career trying to prove the Winter Soldier was real. I still have to think there's more to it than that."

"It wasn't his fault," Steve explained. "They were controlling his mind."

"That makes more sense," Jaime said. "I remember that incident. Dad was convinced it was you, no matter how much Dugan and Jones tried to talk sense into him." She opened a chest and started removing the contents. Steve recognized Jim's uniform from the war. There was a tray of medals and an old style SHIELD uniform. She took out a stack of journals.

"1967, here we go." She handed it to Bucky.

" _I know it sounds crazy,"_ Bucky read. " _But with all the strange things I've seen in my life, I can't dismiss the possibility. If this is Bucky Barnes, he's in trouble and we need to help him. If not, then there's something dangerous out there that needs to be stopped."_

* * *

**_-Berkeley-_ **

Jim waited in the bar. Across the table, Gabe Jones was peeling the label off his beer.

"2 o'clock," Gabe said.

"Your's or mine."

"Mine."

On the other side of the bar two men were pointing at them. Jim couldn't hear their words, but it sounded angry.

"Incoming. 30 feet, 20 feet, 10 feet."

"Hey boys," the man said. "This is a nice place. We don't tolerate your sort."

"Just having a drink," Jones said, holding up his hands in a disarming gesture. "We're not hurting anyone."

"You're hurting my eyes," the other man said.

Jim finished his beer and belched. "Listen Ace, you have no idea who you're talking to, so back down before we put you down."

The man grabbed Jim out of his chair by the collar. "Say that again."

"I warned you."

Jim punched the man in the throat. He dropped Jim and staggered back. Jones jumped at the other man, landing a punch in the gut and an uppercut to the jaw. He went down as the other man recovered. Jim socked him in the jaw.

"Anyone else have a problem with us drinking here?" he asked.

"I'm calling the cops," a man across the bar said. A large man grabbed him by the lapel.

"Son these men are Howling Commandos. You might want to show a little respect."

The man nodded. "There we go," Dum Dum Dugan said, smoothing the man's shirt. The man staggered out of the bar. "A round of beer!" Dugan called to the bartender.

"You always have to make an entrance," Jim said, shaking Dugan's hand.

"Jim, how's the wife?"

"Driving me crazy right now. The oldest girl is having a baby, the middle one is getting married and my youngest is flunking out of Berkeley. I came to visit her to get away from Yukino for a few days."

"Give them my love. How about you Jones?"

"Kids are good. Wife's still pretty. Don't ask me how, I keep her up worrying most nights. I've been working with Stark. We're about to launch a new type of tactical ship for SHIELD. It's going to fly."

Dugan laughed. "We've seen weirder. Is this everyone?"

Jim nodded. "Everyone who could make it. Couldn't get a hold of Monty and Frenchie couldn't get a flight."

"What's wrong?" Jones asked.

Jim leaned in. "This is going to sound crazy. I was visiting Jaime at Berkeley yesterday and her roommate had this guy there. I swear he looked exactly like Bucky Barnes. Exactly. I think it could be him."

Dugan gave him a pitying look. "Jim."

"I know what you're thinking, but I swear the way the guy talked, the way he moved, it was exactly the same. He even said he had served in the 107th."

"Look, even if he had survived that fall, he'd be 50 and none of us look the same," Jones said. "This guy probably just looks like what you want him to look like."

"No that's the thing. He looks exactly like he did when he fell. Maybe a couple years older and his hair is long, but it looks exactly like him."

Jones shook his head. "Jim that's just not possible."

"Gabe, all the weird shit we've seen and you're going to tell me there's not the slightest chance."

Dugan groaned. "What's your plan? Walk up and ask, 'hey, are you Bucky Barnes?'"

"Of course not. We take him out for a drink and do it subtly."

"Fine," Jones agreed. "If you're right, he must have amnesia and we need to help him."

"Dugan?"

"Well, I think you're crazy, but you're not going to let this go until one of us is proven wrong, so I guess I'm in, but you're picking up the tab."

* * *

Jimmy stood in the bunker waiting for instructions. The man in the suit stood over him. "Mission update," he ordered.

"They're going to distribute the information at a conference on campus," the soldier told him. "They are meeting Thursday night to prepare"

"Do they have anything we need to worry about?"

Jimmy handed him a notebook. "I copied everything she has."

"You should have destroyed it," Zola said. "This mission should have been over by now."

"My orders were to observe and report," Jimmy said.

"You just don't want to admit this is working Doctor," the man in the suit gloated. "But now we need to stop them. When they meet to prepare for the conference, kill them, destroy everything." Jimmy said nothing. He pictured Jenna in his head, so vibrant and warm.

"Soldier." The man in the suit hit him across the face. "Soldier, do you understand?"

The Soldier gasped. He was losing focus. He had a mission. "Ready to comply," he responded. Zola had a smug grin on his face. Something deep in him wanted to rip it off.

"Exterminate them, destroy the evidence," the man in the suit ordered. "If you can, try to frame some racial activist group."

"Understood."

* * *

The Soldier waited for Jenna in the Quad. Tomorrow he would need to complete his mission and until then, he needed to keep her from getting suspicious.

"Jimmy!" She called, running over to him. She kissed him. "I hope you weren't bored waiting here."

Jimmy shook his head, grinning. "It's nice weather and that guy over there isn't half bad on the guitar."

"Let's go to the record store," she said.

Jenna took his hand as they walked. Jimmy knew he had a mission to complete but he didn't understand why. Why did Jenna have to die? She was dangerous, but to whom? She had told him everything and he didn't understand why that made her a threat. She was trying to expose political corruption that she said was undermining the war. Why was he ordered to kill her?

They arrived at the record store and Jenna led him to the rock section. She started flipping through the records.

"Who is your favorite singer?" She asked. Jimmy looked around the record store for an answer. He didn't know any of the names.

"Buffalo Springfield," he said, looking at an album right in front of them. Jenna picked it up.

"Far out. Do you have this one?"

"No I've just heard it on the wireless."

"Wireless? You talk like my dad sometimes." Jenna looked at the album. "Let's get it."

"Groovy," Jimmy said. He would have to pay more attention to how people talked if he wanted to maintain his cover.

Back in Jenna's room, they lay on the bed listening to the record. "Is this really your favorite band?"

"Why," he asked. "Don't you like it?"

"I do, but it doesn't really seem like you."

Jimmy listened to the music. He did like it. "Good, I don't want to be predictable." Jenna craned her neck up to kiss him as the door opened. Her roommate Jaime rushed in.

"I was at the library."

"Your dad is going to figure you out when you get your report card," Jenna warned her.

"I just have to pass my finals and I'll be ok," Jaime said.

"He's scary, you should start studying," Jenna said.

Jimmy shrugged. "He didn't seem that scary."

"Maybe not to you. I'm sure after getting your arm blown off, you don't find a lot frightening, but her dad was a Howling Commando," Jenna said. "He helped Captain America take down HYDRA."

"Fine, I'll go to the library," Jaime said.

"Want me to come? I've actually been attending class. I could probably get you a C on the Economics final."

There was a knock at the door. Jaime opened it. "Dad, Jenna and I were just on our way to the library."

Jim nodded. "I guess that means your boyfriend there is free. A couple of my old war buddies are in town. Come out and we'll buy you a drink."

Jimmy felt his body tense up. Something about this man made him uneasy. Morita was after something, but he couldn't afford to arouse suspicion. "Sounds good."

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Jenna said. She kissed him. Jimmy followed Morita out of the dorm.

* * *

Morita took him to a bar near the campus. Jimmy sat down at the table, fighting the urge to run. He felt like these men were studying him, but he had a mission to complete. He had to maintain his cover.

"This is Gabe Jones and Dum Dum Dugan," Morita introduced them. "This is Jimmy, he's dating Jaime's roommate. At least what these kids call dating. I didn't even spend a minute alone with my wife before our wedding."

"You were just a stick in the mud," Jones said. "I never had any trouble getting them alone."

"And how much did they charge?" Morita taunted.

"They gave me a discount," Jones bragged. "Dum Dum had to pay full price."

"So Jim here tells us you served in the 107th," Dugan said. "Where were you?"

"Vietnam," Jimmy said. "I joined up right out of high school and stayed until they kicked me out. So I've been around."

"Hell of a battle scar," Jones remarked, pointing to his arm. "How did you manage that?"

"Train accident," Jimmy said. Morita and Jones exchanged a look. "I don't remember much besides waking up without an arm."

"You're lucky," Dugan said. "I've seen guys come back with less, and some that didn't come back at all."

"I can still hold a beer," Jimmy said, grinning. "Could be worse."

"What are you planning to do now?" Morita asked.

"School. I came here to visit and decided to hang around for a while."

"You from here?" Jones asked.

"Brooklyn," Jimmy told them, he didn't know why he had said that in the first place, but he needed to keep his story consistent in case they talked to Jenna. "I needed a change of scenery after the war."

"We knew a guy from Brooklyn back in the war," Dugan said. Cocky son of a bitch, but he was a great guy. The type you wanted covering your ass. His name was Bucky Barnes."

Jimmy shrugged. "Never heard of him."

"Don't they teach you kids history anymore?" Jones exclaimed. "Back in '43 they captured our unit. A lot of guys didn't make it back. Barnes was with us and he just happened to be friends with Captain America. That crazy bastard heard that Barnes was MIA and he came after us alone. Saved 200 guys from turning into HYDRA lab rats. All because of Barnes."

"What happened to him?" Jimmy asked.

Dugan took a long drink from his glass. "Got knocked out of a train trying to capture Arnim Zola, the same monster who turned him into a science experiment."

Jimmy froze. These men knew about Zola.

"He went down fighting, that's for sure," Jones said. "Can't ask for more than that."

"Sure you can," Morita said. "I want to die in my bed, too old to know what year it is."

"Hey, Jimmy, next round is on you," Dugan said.

Jimmy nodded and went to the bar. He couldn't tell what these guys wanted but something was wrong. These men knew Dr. Zola. What would they do if they found out he was working with the Doctor. He needed to maintain his cover until Friday. Jimmy paused, suddenly he couldn't remember why he needed to do that. He knew his mission but he didn't understand it.

"Four beers."

* * *

"Ok, tell me I'm wrong," Jim whispered.

"I don't know," Jones said. "He looks like him alright, but how could he still look that young?"

"He didn't even blink when I mentioned Rogers," Dugan said. "This guy's acting like he'd never heard of him."

"Something's wrong with him," Jim agreed. "But all the little things aren't adding up. He's from Brooklyn, he fell out of a train, served in the 107th."

"I'd like to believe it too, but it sounds more like we've uncovered a spy. He's pretty stingy with the details. Didn't you say Jenna lost her brother in Vietnam?" Jim nodded. "If I wanted to plant a spy on a student activist, I'd probably send in a wounded vet to get her sympathy and seduce her."

"I told you we should have called Carter on this one," Jones said.

Jimmy returned. "So how's the food over in Vietnam?" Jones asked.

"Gross, I never had anything but Army Rations."

"I hear it's pretty brutal over there," Jim said.

"I don't like to talk about it," Jimmy said. He looked uncomfortable, like someone about to be caught in a lie.

"Sure," Jim said. "No one likes to but you can't carry that stuff around, it'll eat you up. We've all been there. Where did you fight?" Jimmy had his hand firmly planted on the table, ready to move at the slightest provocation. He was nervous.

"Let's cut the bullshit, Jimmy," Dugan said. "Who the hell are you really?"

In a flash, Jimmy flipped the table at them and bolted out of the bar. Jim fell back in his chair but rolled to his feet and pursued. Jones and Dugan followed behind him.

* * *

The Soldier ran. He didn't know how these men had discovered him, but they had. The mission was compromised. Morita was fast on his heels. The Soldier turned, sticking out his arm. Morita was too close and the Soldier caught him in the throat. Morita landed on his back, clutching his windpipe. Dugan and Jones were closing in, the soldier rushed them. He parried a blow from Dugan and caught Jones in the ribs with a knee. Jones dropped and the Soldier kicked him in the jaw. Dugan squared off against him.

"I don't know what the hell you are, but you sure as hell aren't Bucky Barnes."

The Soldier dodged a punch and flipped back, catching Dugan in the jaw. With his opponents down, the Soldier ran.

* * *

Jim sat up slowly, coughing and gasping for air. Dugan and Jones were on the ground moaning.

"I think he broke my rib." Jones gasped.

"Ok," Jim said, "Now we call Peggy Carter."

* * *

**_-Washington DC-_ **

"Jenna looked for you, but she couldn't find you. She said you stood her up," Jaime said. Bucky shook his head.

"I know what happened."

* * *

**_-Berkeley-_ **

The Soldier ran. These men thought he was someone named Bucky Barnes, Jenna thought he was Jimmy, he didn't know who or what he was. He only knew he had a mission and it was compromised. He had failed. He didn't think he had ever failed before. If he had, he would be dead. Hydra did not tolerate failure well, he knew that much. He kept running until his legs gave out and he sat down behind a statue. Trying to catch his breath, he looked up at the building in front of him. He was at the college library. With nowhere else to go, he decided to hide in there for a while.

The library was quiet and it would be the last place anyone might look for him. If he could just catch his breath for a minute, he could figure out what to do. The building was full of students, but they were all engrossed in their work. He walked through the aisles looking for a quiet place to sit and think. Eventually he would have to leave, but he had no idea where to go. If he went back to Jenna, those men would come for him. If he went back to HYDRA, they would dispose of him. At best they would put him back in the cold. He might wake up in 20 years, or they might leave him there now that he was unreliable. Broken tools didn't get used.

Brooklyn kept running through his head. He had told them he was from there, but he didn't know why. He had been on the spot and it had slipped out, just like the 107th and the train. Were those things true? He had no memories from before the cold. He didn't have a name or a home.

_~ "I don't know what the hell you are, but you sure as hell aren't Bucky Barnes." ~_

The Soldier felt a sharp pain in his head.

_~ Back in '43 they captured our unit. ~_

_~ We knew a guy from Brooklyn back in the war, His name was Bucky Barnes ~_

The soldier looked at his reflection in the window. "Who the hell is Bucky Barnes?" he whispered. He looked around. This was a library, and if this guy was famous, there should be a book on him.

_~ Her dad is scary. He was a Howling Commando ~_

The soldier went to the card catalog and searched for the Howling Commandos. He found the book and took it to the corner to read.

"Bucky Barnes was the childhood best friend of Steve Rogers." He skimmed further. "Barnes died in 1945 during the capture of HYDRA scientist, Arnim Zola."

He turned the page to look at several pictures of the commandos. He recognized the three men who had come after him. There was another man in a strange costume. Beside him was Bucky Barnes. The Soldier looked again at his reflection. The man in the picture looked almost identical. His hair was shorter and his eyes were clearer but the resemblance was undeniable. He flipped further in the book and found a biography of Barnes. "Died in 1945 after falling from a train. His body was never recovered."

_~ Bucky! Grab my hand! ~_

"Steve?" the soldier whispered. He jumped to his feet, the book falling to the floor. It landed open on a picture of Barnes and Rogers from before the war. They were smiling. Rogers looked different, yet more familiar. He sank back down to the floor, tracing the lines of Roger's face with his fingers.

"Steve."

He flipped to the biography of Rogers. "Steve Rogers died in 1945-" he closed the book and leaned against the wall. Images flashed in his head. He was falling, Captain America was yelling his name. Lying in the snow, he opened his eyes to see two men dragging him, a trail of blood coming from his severed arm. Pain shot through him as Zola's technicians sawed off what was left of his arm. The cold weight of the metal arm moved awkwardly, the grip devoid of feeling.

_~"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." - "How can I, you're taking all the stupid with you."~_

Shaking, he touched the picture that resembled him so much. "My name is Bucky Barnes," he whispered.

* * *

"You should have called me right away," Peggy scolded them.

Jim shrugged. "You were on vacation."

"Just our 19th wedding anniversary," Daniel Sousa said. "Nothing special.

"Seriously Sousa, I appreciate it," Jim said.

"Well I owe you guys my life. Even if you couldn't get my leg out in one piece. That includes Bucky Barnes. Plus I stole his best friend's girl."

Peggy blushed. "You didn't steal me."

"That's the sort of prize you have to be present to win," Dugan said wistfully. "And if Cap couldn't have her, I think he'd be honored to know she ended up with you."

"Alright, stop talking about me like I'm a prize stallion," Peggy said. "Tell me again exactly what happened,"

Jim sighed, his throat was still sore from getting hit. "I went to visit my daughter and her roommate's new boyfriend was there. This girl is some sort of activist."

"What sort exactly?" Peggy asked. "If someone is trying to spy on her, we need to know."

"You'll have to ask her, anyway, I swear, the guy looks exactly like Bucky Barnes, talks the same, moves the same, I would have been sure if he wasn't 20 years too young. But he looks almost exactly like Barnes did when he died maybe a couple of years older, longer hair."

"Dugan? Jones?"

"He looks the part," Jones said. "But his backstory was full of holes, like he just found a book and copied the big stuff. Said he was from Brooklyn, served in the 107th, even called himself Jimmy."

"Barnes never went by Jimmy," Dugan said. "He insisted on Bucky. This guy is a spy in some sort of disguise. Didn't even know who Bucky Barnes was."

"Maybe he has amnesia," Jim said.

"And somehow hasn't aged in 20 years," Dugan argued.

"Alright," Peggy broke in. "The question is what do we do about it. Let's assume it's not Barnes."

"Whatever he is, he's dangerous," Dugan said. "He had the three of us flat on our asses."

"Well you're not as young as you used to be," Peggy said. "But you're right, he's dangerous and since you've blown his cover, he's also going to be desperate. We need to figure out what he's after and get to it before he does."

"I think I know what that might be," Jim said. "If I can find my daughter."

"Good," Peggy said. "We'll fan out and canvas the area."

"What do we do if it is Barnes?" Sousa asked.

Peggy had to take a moment to steady herself. "Bucky Barnes would never have attacked you. Even if it's his body, his mind isn't there. We'll assume he's been ordered to kill Miss Holman and her associates. Bucky Barnes would want us to stop that from happening at any cost."

* * *

Bucky ran back to Jenna's. Her roommate would know how to contact Jim and the others. If he could just get there, they would help him. For the first time in years he felt hopeful and fearful. He didn't remember everything that had happened, but he had been a prisoner. They had forced him to kill. HYDRA had turned him into a weapon, but he was free now and he needed to get to safety. He needed to save Jenna.

Keeping to the shadows, he went around to the back entrance of her dorm. It was locked. He knocked, but behind him he felt several people approaching. They were dressed in MP uniforms.

"I'm not going back," he said.

One of the men turned on an electric rod. "We're not giving you a choice."

Bucky bolted, but one of the men shoved a stun baton into his back and he fell to the ground. Half conscious and drooling, he was carried to a van and thrown in the back.

* * *

Bucky was awake by the time they arrived.

"My name is Bucky Barnes!" He cried out over and over. The next part was all but inevitable and he intended to hang onto his identity until the last second. Zola would have to rip it from his head by force.

"You have caused us quite a bit of trouble, Soldier," Zola said.

" My name is Bucky Barnes!" he snarled at Zola. There was no escape, but he would not surrender quietly.

"Not for long. It was a mistake to set you free in the world. We will fix that." Bucky spit in Zola's face. One of the handlers struck him across the cheek and he was forced into the chair and restrained.

"I am going to kill you Zola!" Bucky screamed. "Look at me, because I will be the last thing you ever see. My name is Bucky Barnes and I will rip HYDRA apart brick by brick with my bare hands! My name is Bucky Barnes!"

"Wipe his mind."

"My name is Bucky Barnes!" he shouted. "My name is Bucky Barnes!" The mouth guard was forced in but Bucky kept screaming. Zola clamped a hand over Bucky's mouth forcing the mouth guard back to his throat, he gagged as it pressed against the back of his tongue.

"In your last moments of clarity Sergeant Barnes, allow me to enlighten you as to your place in the world." Bucky pulled against the restraints. It was hopeless now, but he would resist until the final moment. "Your life and your death served no purpose. Everything you worked to preserve will be torn down by your own hands. HYDRA will guide those hands."

Bucky strained with all his might, desperate to fight back. He had defeated Zola before and he was not going to give up until his heart stopped beating.

"You are a tool," Zola said. "You will be broken and reforged as many times as it takes. Your mind belongs to HYDRA. You should be glad that your friend Captain America died before he could discover what you have become."

Bucky could feel tears on his face as he continued to struggle. He screamed again and again until the electric paddles descended.

* * *

Peggy surveyed the building that Jaime had taken them too. "You're sure this is it?" The outside was dark and it looked like it was rarely used, even in the daylight.

"This is it," Jaime confirmed. "They're in the basement."

"Alright," Peggy said. "Daniel, you stay with the car. If there are any signs of trouble, drive, get anyone you can out."

"Peggy." Daniel looked at her the way he had a hundred times before.

"Drive Daniel," she leaned in and gave him a long soft kiss. "Get as far away from here as you can. Dum Dum, you guard the van, Jaime, you help load whatever is in there and keep everyone quiet."

"Do I get a gun?" Jaime asked.

"No," Jim said emphatically.

Peggy handed her a baton. "Try not to hit them too hard. Jim, Gabe, you're with me. Extract everyone you can and whatever information we have time for. Everyone clear?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Alright then, move out."

"Peggy," Daniel said. Peggy paused. "Be careful. I know we both still have our battles to fight from the war, but we got out, let's not let it take us now."

"I don't think it'll ever end for us, Daniel, but please keep hoping. Sometimes your faith is all that keeps me going." She kissed him again and took up position.

"Fingers off the trigger," she ordered. "We don't want to shoot any innocent kids." Peggy took point with Jim guarding the rear. She kicked in the door and they rushed in.

"Hands up everyone!" Everyone in the basement screamed and started grabbing papers.

"Stand down," Peggy called. "It's just a bunch of university students." They lowered their weapons but the students were trying to escape past them. Peggy put one of the students in an arm lock.

"Listen up! I'm Peggy Carter with SHIELD. You are all in danger. You need to grab whatever you can and come with us now."

"We're not going anywhere with you narc!" A young man with long hair said.

"You are if you want to make it out alive. Where is Jenna Holman?"

"She's right there," Jim said.

"You're the one he's after," Peggy told her.

"Who's after me?" Jenna asked.

"Your boyfriend," Jim told her. "He's a spy."

Jenna paled. "I had no idea," she said to her friends.

"No of course you didn't," Peggy said, taking a pamphlet from the stack. "No wonder he's after you. Military cover ups, corrupt senators. Most people would write this off as a crackpot conspiracy theory or a bunch of stoned hippies, but you actually know what you're talking about. How did you get this information?"

Jenna shrugged. "Just talking to people, watching things."

Peggy nodded with grudging respect. "We're taking you into protective custody. You can tell your parents you got a summer internship, but we won't be releasing you until we can guarantee your safety. Let's move out."

"Alright everyone," Gabe said. "Grab only what you need and take it to the van. Leave the duplicates."

"Wait!" Jenna protested. "We were going to publish this."

"You're in way over your head here," Gabe said. "You did good work collecting this, but we can actually do something with it."

The rest of the group complied quickly. Peggy led them out. As they were loading materials into the van, a shot came out of nowhere and tore apart one young man's head. Dugan returned fire. Three more students were hit.

"In the van!" Peggy ordered. "Daniel, go!" Dugan climbed in and Daniel hit the gas as Peggy, Jim and Gabe provided cover fire. A shot was fired and hit the van. It swerved but remained on the road.

Jenna and another girl had been left behind in the confusion. Jim lead everyone behind the building for cover.

"Remember what we talked about boys." Peggy handed Jenna a pistol and Gabe gave the other girl his side arm.

"You know how to use these?" Gabe asked.

"Pull the trigger?" Jenna said.

"Yeah, but try to aim at the guy shooting at us," Jim told her.

"We need to get out of here. We're too exposed," Peggy said.

"So is he," Jim pointed out. "If he wants a shot, he's going to have to move."

"We need to draw him out," Gabe said. "We could really use Cap with that shield thing he used to do right about now."

Jim laughed. "We've been fighting strange things for 20 years without Steve Rogers," he reminded them. "We can figure out how to outwit a sniper."

Peggy jumped out and fired in the direction the shots had come from and moved back. A shot ripped through the air where her head had been. Jim jumped out and returned fire. He heard cursing from a distance. "I think I hit him."

Peggy looked out again. "I can't tell. We may just have to run for it."

Gabe looked around. "He can't wait it out forever."

"Neither can we," Jim pointed out.

Peggy looked out again. "Alright, we'll split up. I'll go with Miss Holman, and you two cover her."

"Yes ma'am," Jones said.

"On three. One, two,-"

A bullet ripped through the other girl's face. Jim and Jones fired as a man ran towards them. He was dressed in black, with a mask and goggles. He had long dark hair and a metal arm on the left. He disarmed Jones and threw him into the wall. Jim and Peggy shot at him but the man jumped onto the roof and ran. He jumped down behind them and attacked. Peggy managed to fend him off and Jim grabbed him from behind.

"Run Peggy!"

Peggy grabbed Jenna and took off across the quad.

"Who is that guy?"

"I don't know, but he's going to kill you." Peggy took out the radio. "Dugan, Daniel, where are you?"

"We had to pull over Peggy, Sousa was hit."

Peggy pushed down the queasy feeling in her stomach. "You need to get moving. I'm covering Miss Holman and I have an assassin on my tail. He's like nothing I've ever seen. The way he moves, he has to be some sort of enhanced soldier."

"We're coming back for you," Daniel said.

"Negative!" Peggy yelled. "Get to the extraction point. I'll get Miss Holman out."

* * *

The assassin snapped his head back into Jim's mouth. He tasted blood as he lost his grip and hit the ground. The man turned and aimed a gun at him. Jim winced but it jammed. The assassin fiddled with it but gave up and ran after Peggy. Jim went to check on Jones.

"I'm alive," he groaned. "You still think that's Barnes?"

"I don't know what the hell that was," Jim said in awe. "I'm not even sure that guy is human."

* * *

The Soldier ran after the two women. Holman was his mission. He had eliminated five members of the group but his mission was Holman. He needed to get to her. The woman guarding her was good, but he had to eliminate Holman. He came within sight of them and drew a knife. He stopped long enough to aim and threw it at the woman. It struck her in the calf and she tumbled forward.

"Run!" She said to Holman. Holman fled towards the street. The woman pulled the knife from her leg and stood to face him.

"I don't know if you are Bucky Barnes or not, but I will not let you hurt Miss Holman."

The Soldier attacked. The woman was injured but she was still a skilled fighter. She slammed a palm on his ear, dazing him for a moment, but he managed to land a hit to the knife wound. She dropped to the ground, screaming in pain. He retrieved his knife and turned to pursue Holman. Holman was his mission

* * *

"Peggy said to get the the extraction point," Dugan argued.

Sousa groaned as Jaime pressed down on the bullet wound. "I know what she said," Sousa barked, "but I also know when Peggy is in over her head. We have to go back for them."

"Stop!" Jaime screamed. Dugan skidded to a halt right in front of Jenna. He leaned over and opened the passenger's door.

"Get in!"

Jenna scurried into the seat and Dugan stepped on the gas, but the van did not move. "Son of a bitch!"

"What's wrong?" Jaime asked.

Dugan banged his hand on the dashboard. "I don't know,"

The back door to the van was ripped off it's hinges. The students screamed and moved toward the front. Jenna turned and fired the gun at the assassin. He ducked away but they heard a thud on the roof.

"Go! Go!" Sousa yelled.

Dugan hit the gas. The assassin landed on the ground behind the van as they drove away. Jenna slumped over on the seat, the gun still in her hand. Sousa reached up and pushed it away. "Point that thing at the ground!"

* * *

Jim and Jones ran off in the direction of the gun shots. Peggy was on the ground, tying a makeshift bandage around her leg. "You ok?" Jim asked, helping her to her feet.

"I'll be fine," she said, gritting her teeth. "We need to move."

They ran off towards the sound of screeching tires with Peggy limping behind them.  When they came to the road, they found the back door to the van. The assassin was nowhere to be found. "Daniel?" Peggy called over the radio.

"We're fine. He attacked us but we got away." Peggy breathed a sigh of relief. "He tore the damn door of it's hinges. I've never seen anything like it."

"Whatever he was, he's vanished." She said. "Get to the extraction point, we'll meet you there."

"My wife is going to kill me," Jim said.

* * *

In the bunker, the Soldier waited for instructions.

"Mission report Soldier," the man in the suit ordered.

"Mission Failed," he reported. "I eliminated five of the targets but the primary target escaped. Holman and her remaining associates were extracted to an unknown location by SHIELD operatives."

Zola smirked. "It seems I was correct, Senator. The Winter Soldier is not suited to spy missions. Thanks to you we are revising the protocols for his use."

"Every great weapon should be tested to it's full limits Doctor," the Senator said.

"Yes, but this test nearly broke him. It was only luck that allowed us to retain him and if you had listened to me in the first place, the problem would have been eliminated. Instead, the targets have joined SHIELD."

"I thought HYDRA was SHIELD Doctor."

Zola scowled. "We are decades away from realizing the full scope of our plans and you have jeopardized our work."

"Your weapon is not up to the task and you know what happens to useless tools Doctor," the Senator said threateningly.

Zola smiled. "Indeed I do." He turned to the soldier. "Kill him."

The soldier lunged forward and grabbed the Senator by the throat.

"HYDRA does not tolerate failure, Senator. Your death will serve to remind others of that."

* * *

**_-SHIELD Helicarrier over the Pacific Ocean-_ **

Jaime and Jenna looked out the window of the Helicarrier. Jim sat at the conference table with Jones, Dugan, and Sousa. Peggy came in with a file they had been waiting to see.

"You and your friends kicked up quite a hornets nest," she told the young women.

"I had nothing to do with it," Jaime said. "I was trying to study."

"Is that a new code for smoking weed with the art department," Jim quipped.

"All the same, we plan to keep all of you in protective custody for the foreseeable future," Peggy told her.

"She was flunking out anyway," Jim said. He couldn't help but feel a strange pride in his daughter, but also fear. He could see the path she was heading down. It was a familiar one, yet it frightened him. "I'll tell your mother you're doing a semester abroad."

"Did you get the Senator?" Jenna asked.

"No," Peggy shook her head. "Senator Chambers was found dead this morning in a warehouse. His windpipe had been crushed with extreme force, almost as though the assailant had superhuman strength. The site was clean."

"So you have no idea who killed him," Jenna said angrily.

"It was completely clean," Peggy elaborated. "All evidence of any human presence had been removed. We may not know who it was, but we know Chambers was just the tip of the iceberg."

"Any information on the guy who ripped the door off the van?" Daniel asked.

Peggy shook her head. "Nothing, almost as though he doesn't exist. I heard a few rumors, but he seems to be a ghost story to blame unexplained assassinations on."

"That was no ghost," Jim said. "And Sousa's got the lacerated spleen to prove it."

"Ballistics came back," Jones said. "Soviet made, beyond that, the bullets are untraceable. No rifling, nothing to identify them.

"Do you still think it's Barnes?" Dugan asked.

"I don't know who it is, but he's out there," Jenna said. "I want in. I need to get to the bottom of this."

"I can't promise you will," Peggy said. "But we're going to try."

* * *

**_-Washington DC-_ **

"We ended up working for SHIELD for over forty years, until you torpedoed it," Jaime said.

"I did you a favor," Steve joked.

Jaime scoffed. "Tell that to my pension fund."

"Do you mind if I borrow this?" Bucky asked, holding up the journal.

"Keep it as long as you need," Jaime said.

Steve stood up. "We should be going." He shook Jaime's hand. "Thank you."

"Anytime, Captain," She said. They started to leave.

"Hey, Barnes," Jaime called. "My Dad said to me once, 'Captain America may have pulled my ass out of that HYDRA base, but he went in there to get Bucky Barnes. If it weren't for Barnes, none of us would be alive.' He always said you were the heart of the Howling Commandos."

Bucky looked upset, but Steve smiled. "And I bet he said he was the brains."

Jaime laughed. "Nah, he always said he was the liver. Good luck out there Rogers. You too Barnes."

"Good to see you Jaime," Steve said.

* * *

**_-Baltimore-_ **

It was late when Steve and Bucky returned home. "I'm going to bed," Steve said. "Are you ok?"

Bucky glared at him. "No and if you ask me that one more time, I'm going to short sheet your bed." Steve patted him on the shoulder.

"Can't do that if I'm in it."

"I'm going to stay up for a while," Bucky said. With everything that had happened, he wasn't sure he'd be able to sleep at all. He had answers now, but it did nothing to ease his mind.

"Night pal," Steve said, heading upstairs.

Bucky sat down on the sofa. For the first time in days he was too tired to think about anything and his mind was blissfully quiet. That didn't quell the sick feeling in his stomach. He had known when he started this was going to be painful, but the whole process had left him utterly drained. His brain was a foggy haze of images and stories. He needed to sleep and let it all sink in but he was afraid of what he might see in his dreams."

Wanda came in from the basement. "You're home. I was going to get a brownie and some milk. Would you like one?"

"We have brownies?" Bucky asked. The mention of chocolate immediately pushed everything else from his mind.

"Scott made them." Bucky frowned uncertainly. Wanda smiled. "Don't worry they came from a box. I'll get you one."

Wanda came back with a plate of brownies and two glasses of milk. She sat down in the arm chair and set the plate on the table. "What's wrong?"

"Thanks for not asking if I'm ok," Bucky said. "Steve's been asking that all day and it's starting to get on my nerves."

"I can read minds," she reminded him. "I know you're not ok."

Bucky felt a surge of panic. "Did you-"

"No," she said quickly. "But I can pick up on emotions without having to look. You project them very strongly." She took a sip of milk. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he said emphatically around a mouthful of brownie. "I've been talking about it all day."

"I understand, but keeping that much pain inside usually just ends up hurting more."

Bucky looked at Wanda. He still wasn't convinced she didn't use her powers on him occasionally but there was something about her he trusted. More than anyone else, she seemed to truly understand how he felt. "I remembered a mission from the Winter Soldier. I'd forgotten it for so long that reliving it is like going through it for the first time.

"If you bury it again, it'll always feel like that."

Bucky sighed. "I knew when I started piecing things back together it wasn't going to be pretty, but this one, I remembered who I was. I almost managed to break free. They caught me and I had to lose everything all over again."

"That's terrible," Wanda said.

"The worst part is something I remember Zola saying right before they wiped my memory. That I should be glad Captain America died before he could see what they had turned me into. Only he didn't and now that he knows, I can see it hurts him. He blames himself for letting it happen, for letting me fall out of that train."

Wanda set her glass on the table. "Before I joined the Avengers I grew up in Sokovia. One day my family was eating dinner and our apartment building was bombed. My brother and I were trapped in the rubble for days. If I hadn't had Pietro there, I'm not sure I would have even made it out of there. He was always the courageous one."

"What happened to him?" Bucky could hear the pain in her voice and felt sure he already knew the answer.

"He died," she said quickly, tears glistening in her eyes. "It's a long story."

"I'll show you my scars if you show me yours," Bucky offered.

"Another time," she promised. "Believe me, it's a fair trade." She took a deep breath. "My point is, I know you're trying to spare him the horror that you're going through, but maybe if you let him share it, it's won't be such a burden for either of you. He's already hurting. Maybe he needs to work through it as much as you do."

"I'm not sure I can ask him to do that."

"I don't think you even have to ask," Wanda assured him.

Sharon came in from the hallway. "I see you found the brownies. Eat them now or Sam will."

"Don't think I won't," Bucky said with a grin. It might be fun to see the look on Wilson's face tomorrow.

Sharon handed him a journal. "I found this in Aunt Peggy's things. I don't know if there's anything new, but you're welcome to it."

"I stabbed your aunt in the leg," Bucky said.

"She used to show that scar to anyone who didn't think the Winter Soldier was real. She asked them if they thought she had been stabbed by a ghost." Sharon headed back to bed; she paused in the doorway. "For what it's worth, they always remembered you as a hero. I don't think anything would have changed their minds about that."

Bucky looked at the ceiling, rolling Sharon's words around in his head.

"So what now?" Wanda asked.

Bucky looked in the direction of the kitchen. "Now? I'm going to go eat that whole pan of brownies."

**_-End-_ **


	6. Falcon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam gets assigned to Bucky-sit. Can these two survive a weekend together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story note: According to the information I was able to find, the City of Baltimore prohibits the sale of alcohol for off premise consumption on Sunday. If that's in error, just go with it for the sake of the story.

**_-SATURDAY - 8:21 AM-_ **

Sam drank the last sip of coffee and opened the dishwasher to load his mug.

"Is there any coffee left?" Barnes called from the other room.

On impulse, Sam reached for the pot and poured the remaining coffee into his mug. It filled it to the brim leaving no room for cream or sugar.

"We're out," he called. 

He turned to find Barnes standing in the doorway. From the dark look on Barnes' face, Sam guessed he had been there long enough to know why the coffee was gone.

"Can you make more?" he asked, clearly straining to keep his tone civil.

"Can you make another pan of brownies?" Sam retorted. He sipped the coffee, gagging slightly at the bitterness. He should have left room for sugar. Barnes said nothing and went upstairs. Steve passed him coming into the kitchen.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Sam said sipping his coffee. He choked down another swallow and went to get the milk.

"You know," Steve started his 'you could be a little nicer' speech, but decided to let it be. "Where is everyone? We have a mission."

"Wanda's getting dressed and everyone else is outside."

Steve glanced in the direction Barnes had gone. "I wanted to talk to you for a minute anyway."

"If this is about the coffee, he started it," Sam said defensively.

Steve shook his head. "It's not that. I need you to stay home this time."

"What did I do?" Sam grumbled.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest. "I need everyone to stop thinking of this as a punishment. It was your idea." His stern look softened. "I need you here, Sam."

The urgent tone of Steve's voice caught Sam's attention. "What's up?"

"I don't know," Steve said. He sounded tired. "Something's bothering him but he won't tell me."

"PTSD, amnesia, fear of losing control and murdering us in our sleep?" Sam suggested. "Pick one. You said everything's all jumbled up, maybe he's just trying to piece it together."

Steve shook his head uncertainly. "I feel like there's more to it and after what happened last week, I'm worried. I think it hit him pretty hard."

Sam set his coffee mug on the counter and stirred in a spoon of sugar. "Healing from this sort of thing isn't a linear process, Steve. Sometimes you have to go back a little to go forward. It's not pretty, but it's normal"

Steve still looked doubtful.

"I know you want to help him, but sometimes you can't," Sam continued. "You've already done more than anyone would expect. If it wasn't for you, he'd be dead or still under HYDRA's control. He would have been dead in Bucharest if you hadn't broken the Accords to go after him. You can't save the guy anymore than you already have. Some of this he just has to do on his own."

Sam could see the frustration in Steve's eyes. "Well if that's the case, you're still the one I want here. You're the best qualified to help him."

"If he even wants my help," Sam said. "He doesn't exactly like me."

"Well you could be a little nicer," Steve pointed out. "But I think he knows he can trust you when it comes down to it."

Sam heard footsteps in the hall and flicked his head to get Steve's attention. Barnes came into the kitchen wearing fake glasses and the hoodie that Natasha had bought him.

"Where are you off to?" Steve asked.

"Starbucks," he said, glaring at Sam.

"Mind if I join you?" Wanda asked coming in behind him.

Barnes hesitated a moment but then smiled at her. "Sounds fun."

"Half an hour," Steve told her. "We have a mission."

"I could just be the stay behind," Wanda suggested.

Steve shook his head. "Sorry, I need you on this one. I'll brief everyone en route but we're moving out in an hour." Wanda nodded. "And get me a tall skinny mocha with whip."

"Sure," Barnes said grinning. "Can I get you anything else while I'm out, like your balls?"

"Hilarious," Steve called after him. "If you tried it you'd like it!"

Sam shrugged. "He seems ok to me."

* * *

**_-SATURDAY - 8:47 AM-_ **

Bucky sipped his Americano as he and Wanda walked back to the house, debating the merits of alternative coffee makers. Mr. Coffee was quickly becoming his biggest complaint about the future.

"I've been pushing for a french press, but no one's jumped on that either," Wanda said. "I don't know why. We had one back at the complex and everyone was fine with it."

"Some of this new stuff I like, but some of it just seems unnecessary," Bucky said. From his understanding the coffee maker machine worked on basically the same principle as a percolator. He didn't know why they needed a whole separate appliance for that."

"What did you do for coffee in Bucharest?" Wanda asked.

"Instant," Bucky said. That was another invention he could do without. "I didn't have a lot of money."

Wanda nodded, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "We drank that back in Sokovia. Not something I'm terribly nostalgic for."

Bucky thought about his life in Bucharest. "Every once in awhile when I had a little extra, I'd get breakfast at this little bakery down the street. They had great coffee."

Wanda smiled. "That sounds fantastic."

Bucky looked at her. "Do you ever miss Sokovia?"

Wanda shook her head. "Not really. There's nothing left for me there. The Avengers are the only family I have now, and this may not be ideal, but at least I have a purpose and friends." She sipped her Macchiato. "I don't like being alone."

"I don't really mind it so much," Bucky said. "The last 70 years, I was always surrounded by people giving me orders or keeping me in line. It was kind of nice to be on my own for a while, no one to answer to, no one to impress."

"Are you not happy here?" Wanda asked.

"I'm not really going to be happy anywhere, but I feel like everyone's watching me all the time, waiting for me to snap." Bucky's eyes dropped to the ground. "Sometimes it seems like the only difference between this and Siberia is the temperature."

Wanda stopped, looking at him with a mix of pity and concern.

"I didn't mean that the way it sounded," he said quickly. "I just feel trapped sometimes."

Wanda sipped her drink, avoiding his gaze. "We need to hurry, that line was longer than I thought it would be."

* * *

**_-SATURDAY - 8:59 AM-_ **

Bucky and Wanda returned to the house and Wanda ran upstairs to change. Bucky set Steve's drink on the counter. He noticed that Wilson was still in street clothes.

"Oh, you're staying."

Wilson didn't look up from his cellphone. "Got a problem with that?"

"Come on, Buck," Steve said quietly.

"I'll be downstairs," Bucky said, heading toward the basement.

"We'll be back in 48 hours," Steve told him. "Try not to kill each other."

* * *

**_-SATURDAY - 8:03 PM-_ **

Wilson was in the living room watching TV when Bucky came upstairs for dinner. He had spent most of the day in the basement training, but he hadn't been able to shake his conversation with Wanda. He hoped some food might distract him, but it was Wilson's night to cook, which meant take out.

Bucky found a pizza box sitting on the counter and opened it to find the pizza gone. Cursing under his breath, Bucky started toward the living room to confront Wilson, but stopped. It wasn't worth the aggravation. It wasn't even good pizza. He made a sandwich with the leftover meatloaf from the night before, and went upstairs.

Settling down on the sleeping bag, he took out his journals. Even after weeks living at the house, he still kept them in his backpack. He didn't feel the need to hide it as he had elsewhere, but having them ready to grab made him feel more at ease. Nothing in his life had been permanent since he left for the war. In the Army, they had been on the move. Steve and the other Commandos had been by his side, but everyone else had come and gone. In his years as the Winter Soldier, the only constant had been the cold. Waking up was never permanent. It would last a week or two at most, then he would go back under for months, sometimes years. He would wake up to a new handler, a new mission, a new world. Bucharest was the longest he had been in one place since his escape, but he had always been ready to walk away. Wakanda had proved no safer. He had come to Steve for help, but he had to wonder if Baltimore was any more permanent than Bucharest?

His conversation with Wanda had been running through his mind all day. There was more truth to his words than he had been willing to admit to her. He was free of Hydra control, but he was still surrounded by people who dictated where he went and what he did. He knew Steve and the others had his best interests at heart, but he felt trapped. Living here was almost as limiting as Hydra had been, just with a bigger cage.

He picked up Jim Morita's journal and opened it to their encounter. He had read it so many times that he had nearly memorized it. His dreams had been occupied with scenarios of what might have happened if he had made it to safety. Maybe if they had kidnapped him and strapped him to a chair, he might have had a chance of a normal life. Steve had suggested that he contact Jenna Holman, but Bucky preferred to leave that buried in the past. Their time together had been short and the person she had known had been a fabrication to gain her trust. Contacting her would probably only end with his capture.

He set the journal on the nightstand along with the one Sharon had given him of Peggy Carter's. They had helped fill in the gaps, but he had hit a wall again. Was that the only time he had remembered, or had there been others? How many times had he come close to escaping the nightmare, only to be pushed right back into it. How many times had it happened before he had given up? When Zola ordered him wiped, he had fought with everything he had. When Pierce had ordered it, he had complied. Confused and disoriented, he had lashed out at the technicians, but a few words from Pierce had brought him back under control.

_~ But I knew him.~_

That pitiful plea was the only resistance he had been able to manage. He had known what was coming and he had opened his mouth to let them put the mouth guard between his teeth. His fight with Steve had given him back a scrap of a memory, and he had let them take it away with barely an argument. How many times had they stripped everything from him before he stopped fighting?

And how many more stories like this one could Steve stand to hear? How many times would he have to confront the torments that Bucky had suffered while he slept in the ice. How many times would he have to hear about the atrocities Bucky had committed? Each new memory was another wound and Bucky could see that it was wearing on him. The guilt he felt for surviving, for not saving Bucky sooner, was going to destroy him if Bucky let him continue like this.

Bucky reached in his backpack and took out the journal containing his memories of Steve. His memories from before the war were spotty, but he remembered having to look out for Steve growing up. Steve was tough, but there was an idealism to him that Bucky couldn't bear to see extinguished. Bucky had always been more pragmatic, but that part of Steve had always given him hope. If he asked Steve to witness much more of this, that part of him might be lost. He put the journal back and zipped up the bag. There was only one thing he could do to protect his friend.

* * *

**_-SATURDAY - 8:33 PM-_ **

Sam dropped two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass and looked at the empty pizza box on the counter. It had been a stupid, impulsive thing to do. Not only did he have a stomach ache now, but he felt guilty for antagonizing Barnes. He wasn't even sure why he did it. For Steve's sake, he should probably try harder, but there was something about Barnes that got under Sam's skin.

It hit him suddenly. He was jealous. The absurdity of it made him laugh. It was stupid and immature, but he was jealous. "Come on Wilson," he said to himself. "You're better than this, man."

In the last three years Steve had become his best friend. They had spent much of that time looking for Barnes, but the guy had never been in their lives for more than a few days. Now he was living with them, and it seemed like Steve's full attention was on Barnes. Sam felt like he had taken a backseat in Steve's life to a guy who couldn't remember who Steve was for two minutes in the morning.

With a sigh, Sam crushed up the pizza box and put it in the trashcan. It was too late to make up for that, but maybe he could still salvage the rest of the weekend. He drank the Alka Seltzer and went upstairs to Steve's room.

"Yo Barnes! I was going to go out and get some gelato. You wanna come?" There was no answer. Sam took a deep breath.

"Look man, I'm sorry about the pizza. And the coffee. It was a dick move. Let me make it up to you. If you haven't tried gelato, you're really missing out." Again, silence. Sam was getting irritated.

"Ok listen," he said, opening the door. "If you don't want gelato, fine, but-"

The room was empty. He looked around the hall. The bathroom was empty, as was the study. Barnes wasn't in any of the other rooms. Sam ran downstairs. He was sure he heard Barnes go up, but the guy was a trained assassin; he could have easily slipped past.

"Barnes!" he called. "Yo man this isn't funny. Say something!"

He checked the patio, then ran down to the training room. They were all deserted. He went back up and checked the armory, then went back to Steve's room. He looked around the room carefully. The sleeping bag that Barnes had been using had been rolled up and put on the top shelf of the closet along with the pillow. On the bedside table were two journals, but they were too old to be the ones Barnes spent all his time on. Barnes' journals were nowhere to be seen. Sam felt his heart leap into his throat.

Barnes was gone.

Sam took out his phone and brought up Steve's number, but exited the screen. They had a mission to focus on and there was nothing Steve could do until he got back. Sam would have to find Barnes on his own.

He sat down to think. Barnes had come upstairs half an hour ago, which meant he had no more than a 30 minute head start. He couldn't go to the airport, which meant he was likely headed for the train station or the harbor. Either way, he would probably take the metro. It was a 5 minute walk to the nearest station but by the time Sam got there he would be headed into the city, if he wasn't already. There was no way Sam would be able to search the entire city before Barnes went to ground.

"Should have lo-jacked his ass," Sam muttered.  He paused. On a hunch he turned on his computer and brought up the program Natasha had designed for them to track the team's movements. He noticed a new entry in the program.  "Thank you Romanoff."

Somehow she had slipped a tracker on Barnes without him noticing. If Sam had to guess, it was probably in that backpack. He went upstairs to get his gear, and linked Redbird to the program. Redbird would be able to home in on the signal and follow him at a distance until Sam arrived.

* * *

**_-SATURDAY - 10:15 PM-_ **

Sam landed on a rooftop near the Harbor. It was Saturday night, and the area was crowded. Redbird had eyes on Barnes, but as long as he stayed in the crowd, Sam couldn't touch him. If he provoked Barnes, there was no telling how he might react. Innocent people might get caught in the scuffle. He would just have to wait.

Barnes had been sitting in a bar for the last few hours. Sam was starting to suspect he hadn't thought this through. If he had, he would already be on his way out of the city, but instead, he had stopped for a beer. Barnes would have to leave eventually and then Sam could isolate him. If he could just get Barnes alone, maybe he could talk him out of whatever half baked escape he was plotting.

Redbird beeped. Barnes was on the move.

Sam tracked Barnes as he moved away from the Harbor and back into the city toward the train station. He waited until Barnes entered a sparsely populated area and took off, closing in on Barnes in a matter of minutes. He circled around a building and landed in an alley that intersected with Barnes' route. He waited until Redbird told him Barnes was 50 feet away and stepped out of the alley in front of him.

Barnes stopped, his eyes wide. Sam wasn't sure if he looked more shocked or afraid, but he kept his distance. The worst thing he could do was make Barnes feel threatened.

"I just want to talk."

Barnes turned and fled in the opposite direction. Sam flew after him. Barnes was fast, but the wings were faster. He grabbed the backpack, hoping the straps would hold. Pulling up sharply, he flew towards the tallest building in the city. If he could cut off his escape route, maybe Barnes would calm down and listen to reason.

He dropped Barnes on the roof and circled around to land. Rolling to his feet, Barnes ran toward the edge of the roof. Sam cursed, noticing the shorter building beside them. He wouldn't be able to reach Barnes before he jumped, but he could catch him mid air if he timed it right.

Sam dove. Suddenly, Barnes stopped and turned. Sam was going too fast for either of them to react and he slammed into Barnes full force. Sam retracted the wings and rolled to a halt on the roof. Barnes staggered backwards, trying to regain his balance. His foot landed on the edge but it slipped and sent him tumbling off the roof.

"Barnes!"

Sam jumped to his feet and dove into the air. Barnes was falling fast towards the ground. He might be able to survive the fall, but all Sam could see was another comrade falling out of the sky. Riley, Rhodes, he wasn't about to add Barnes to the list of people he couldn't reach.

Barnes looked up at him, his hand reaching up, grasping at nothing. Sam's stomach turned. Barnes wanted to be saved. No matter what he said, when the moment came, Barnes wanted to live. Sam reached out and felt Barnes hand close on his wrist. He pulled up hard, Barnes' weight threatening to tear a muscle in his shoulder as he arced out of the dive. He headed to an empty park nearby. Barnes sagged, his full weight pulling on Sam's arm.

"If I let you down, are you going to run?" Sam asked. He wouldn't be able to hold on much longer regardless.

"No!" Barnes promised breathlessly. His eyes were wild and panicked.

Sam slowed and let go of Barnes' hand. Barnes dropped to the ground, panting for breath.

"You knocked me off the roof!" he accused Sam.

Sam landed and ran over to Barnes, afraid he might flee again despite his assurances. "I've seen you survive worse."

Barnes looked up at the building. He was shaking.

Sam sat down in the grass. "I just wanted to talk, I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to jump." 

"I changed my mind."

Sam shook his head. Arguing was just going to waste time. "We need to go. That little stunt would have raised some eyebrows. Let me borrow your jacket."

"Why?"

"To hide the wings," Sam said. "We're going to have to take the metro back. I didn't bring the car."

"I need it to hide my arm. If you flew here, fly home," Barnes said.

"No way, you're coming with me," Sam insisted.

"I'm not going back," Barnes said.

Sam sighed. "Look I can't physically stop you, and if you feel like you need to leave, well, you're a grown ass man and you can take of yourself. But you owe it to Steve to say goodbye."

"He would just stop me," Barnes said.

"You're damn right!" Sam yelled. "The guy was going out of his mind for two years trying to find you. You can't just show up and then disappear without a trace. If you're really his friend, man up and tell him what's bothering you. I don't know what your deal is now, but the guy he told me about wouldn't pull this disappearing act shit."

Sam stood up and fanned out his wings. "I'm going home. If you want to come back and talk about this, you know where to find me."

* * *

**_-SATURDAY - 10:28 PM-_ **

Bucky stared out over the bay as Wilson flew off. In the dark, it reminded him of the Boardwalk at Coney Island. He knew he had gone there a lot with Steve. He could remember a few times, mostly losing money trying to chase girls, but the clearest memories were looking out over the water with Steve, back in the days when it had been the two of them against the world, before life ripped them apart.

" _I was gonna ask," Bucky started to say._

" _I know what you're going to say Buck," Steve cut in._

" _We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It'll be fun. All you have to do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash." Steve needed him. No matter how much he denied it._

" _Thanks Buck, but I can get by on my own."_

_Bucky put a hand on Steve's shoulder. He admired his determination, but this wasn't something he should face by himself. "Thing is, you don't have to. I'm with you to the end of the line, pal."_

The memory surfaced from nowhere. Steve had always been so determined to make his own way in the world that he never thought to lean on anyone. Still, Bucky had tried to make him share the burden.

" _You're my friend," Steve said, his face cut and swollen almost beyond recognition._

" _You're my mission!" the Soldier yelled, driving his fist into Steve's face._

" _Then finish it. Cause I'm with you to the end of the line."_

Bucky stared at his metal arm. Steve had gambled his life on the hope that Bucky would recognize him. He had almost lost that bet, but he had still been willing to try. That little guy who had been so determined to get by without any help, and the man who had let the Winter Soldier beat him senseless to get through to him. That was the guy he was worried about. He had always tried to look out for Steve, but maybe Steve didn't need him to anymore.

Bucky stood and headed for the Metro. Wilson was right about one thing. If the guy who wouldn't let Steve face his mother's death alone was still in there, he at least owed Steve an explanation.

* * *

**_-SUNDAY - 12:08 AM-_ **

Sam was in the living room watching TV when Barnes returned. He heard Barnes go upstairs and then come back down to the kitchen. He came into the living room with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, and sat down on the other couch. Sam flipped through the channels, giving Barnes enough time to settle in before he addressed the issue at hand.

"So, are we going to talk about this?" Sam asked.

"No," Barnes said flatly, shoving a cookie into his mouth.

Sam turned off the TV and opened a magazine. "Ok, I'm going to give you a choice," he said without looking up. "Either you tell me what's going on, or I tell Steve you ran away and you can talk to him."

Barnes drank his milk. He didn't answer.

"They'll be back tomorrow," Sam said. He put down the magazine and went up to bed. If Barnes didn't want to talk, there wasn't a lot he could do.

* * *

**_-SUNDAY - 2:46 PM-_ **

Sam came up from the basement and found Barnes angrily mashing buttons on the TV remote. He chuckled and went to the kitchen for a drink.

"Wilson," Barnes called. "What's that one you called me the other week? Born Identity? I can't find it."

Sam went into the living room and looked at the screen. "B-O-U-R-N-E, it's the character's last name."

Barnes typed the letters in. "It's not there. There's something called Bourne Legacy."

"Same series," Sam said. "But you probably need to see the first one. I'll get it from the video store, or you could just get the book from the library. Probably be quicker, but try a library in Baltimore, not Bulgaria."

"I was in Romania," Barnes corrected him. "Don't they teach Geography anymore?"

"They do, but it's changed about 20 times since I was in school so who the hell knows anymore," Sam said. "But you were planning to stay in the city, right? I'm just trying to schedule my day."

Barnes glared at him. "You know what, Wilson?"

"I know you're seriously getting on my last nerve," Sam snapped. "This was supposed to be my weekend off, but I've had to chase your flight risk ass all over Baltimore AND you ate my Oreo's again."

"I didn't see your name on them"

"What are you, eight?"

Sam went to the fridge and took a six pack of beer out. He sat down on the other sofa and set the beer by his feet.

Barnes eyed it. "Were you planning to share those?"

Sam popped the cap on one. "No."

Barnes sighed and went to the kitchen. "There aren't anymore!" Sam called, unable to contain his glee.

Barnes muttered something in Russian and came back to the living room. "May I have one, please?" he asked.

Sam chugged the one in his hand and opened another.

Barnes sighed angrily. "I'm sorry I ate your Oreo's. I'll buy some more. May I have a beer?"

"Nice thought, but I'm kind of enjoying this whole revenge thing," Sam said.

Barnes took a deep breath. "Maybe if you gave me a few of those, I'd feel like discussing what happened last night."

"You realize you can just go to the store and buy more while you're replacing my Oreo's," Sam said.

"It's Sunday."

"Huh, you're right," Sam said. He took a sip from the bottle.

Barnes sat down on the couch and held out his hand.

"Not so fast," Sam said, holding the carton far out of Barnes' reach. "Start talking."

Barnes glared at him but sighed. "I don't think Steve knew what he was getting himself into helping me."

"No he did not," Sam agreed. "He does kind of jump in head first."

"Yeah he does. Can I have my beer now?"

Sam handed him a bottle. "If you stop talking I take that away."

"Try it," Bucky threatened, popping the cap with his metal thumb.

"So does this have anything to do with that field trip you guys took the other week?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," Barnes said. "But it's not just that. The first night I was here, I woke up and forgot where I was. I almost attacked him. The next week, we were boxing and I lost control for a moment and went after him full force. The look on his face," he trailed off and took a long sip of his beer. "It's safer for everyone if I'm alone."

"I'd agree," Sam told him, "except that book is out there, and I don't really trust the CIA to hang onto Zemo. I think it's too risky for you to be alone. If someone gets a hold of that and we're not there to stop you, what happens?"

"That's why I went to Wakanda," Barnes said.

"I know," Sam nodded, "and it sucks that that got messed up. But I have to tell you, Steve was a lot happier knowing where you were. Even if you weren't with us, at least he knew you were safe. After DC, he was going crazy. We ran all over the place trying to track you down, and every time we hit a dead end, it crushed him."

Barnes scratched at the label on his beer. "I think if he knew everything that I've done in the last 70 years, it would kill him."

"Give him some credit," Sam said. "We uncovered a lot of stuff while looking for you. I think if you give him a chance, he'd surprise you."

Barnes shook his head. "What made it into the reports is just the surface. I don't think he can handle it when the worst of it comes out."

"He's tougher than you're giving him credit for," Sam said.

Barnes shook his head. "He tries to be, but I don't know if he can take much more, and I can't ask him to."

Sam leaned forward, looking straight at Barnes. "He watched you die. Do you realize that?" Barnes drew back. "He watched you fall out of a moving train and plunge hundreds of feet into an icy ravine."

"Yeah, I was there," Barnes reminded him.

Sam shook his head. "No you were on the other side of it, and man, that must have been terrifying, but he lost you. He was six inches away, and there was nothing he could do but watch you fall." Sam swallowed, trying to keep his voice steady. "And yeah, it's a war, you lose people, but saving hundreds of lives and not being able to help the one person you care about most, that does things to a guy."

"Sounds like you know a thing or two about it," Barnes probed. Sam wasn't quite sure if he was being sympathetic or just trying to deflect attention.

"Yeah I do, and we can talk about me another time, but I can tell you if my friend walked through that door, I wouldn't give a damn where he had been or what he had done, and I sure as hell wouldn't let him out of my sight until I knew for sure he was ok."

"And if he wasn't the same guy?" Barnes asked.

"After losing someone like that, you're not the same either."

Barnes took a long drink from the bottle.

"You're worried that he won't be able to deal with everything you've been through, but you don't know what he's had to endure. He lost you once, and he cannot go through that again. Doesn't matter how messed up things are, he'd rather have you half here than not have you at all."

"I don't know how much more I can handle either," Barnes confessed. "Some days I don't know what's keeping me from putting a bullet in my skull."

Sam looked at him. "Yeah you do."

Barnes didn't respond. He sat there staring at the empty bottle in his hand.

"If I ask for another beer do I have to keep talking?"

"Are you going to try this again?"

"No," Barnes said quietly.

"I think we're good for now." Sam set the six pack on the table. "Oh and I lied, there's a whole case in the refrigerator in the basement."

"Son of a bitch!" Barnes yelled.

He threw a bottle cap at Sam. Sam just laughed and opened another beer.

* * *

**_-MONDAY - 2:07 AM-_ **

Bucky opened his eyes. He had been asleep, but a nightmare he couldn't remember had woken him.

_~He watched you die. Do you realize that? He watched you fall out of a moving train and plunge hundreds of feet into an icy ravine.~_

Bucky sat up and looked at Steve's empty bed. Suddenly the dream came back to him. The train. His death was one of the most vivid memories he possessed. He remembered every detail down to the snowflakes flying in his face. The force of the gun knocking him back. The relief when his hand caught the bar. The desperation to reach Steve. The grinding metal as the bar separated from the train.

The worst part had been the fall. Even the pain of his arm being torn off had seemed small compared to the several seconds he spent plummeting helplessly toward the ground, knowing that he would die. Yet it was a memory he clung to, because it was the last time he had truly been Bucky Barnes.

Things had happened so fast after that, he had never had a chance to consider how Steve had felt. For a man who had fought the impossible and saved thousands to be powerless to save his best friend, someone he had already fought through hell and back to rescue, it must have been torture. For the first time, it occurred to him that the man he pulled out of the Potomac might not be the same man he had known. Perhaps Wilson was right.

He regretted not taking Jim's journals from the war. They might have provided some insight into the days following his death. Steve had never been much of a writer, though he had had notebooks full of sketches. Bucky looked at the other journal sitting on the bedside table. He could ask Peggy.

Moving quietly so as not to wake Wilson, Bucky crept across the hall and slipped into the study. On a shelf, he found Peggy Carter's journals arranged in order. Bucky wondered what had happened to his from the war. They had likely been sent back to his mother, and either thrown out or donated to a museum when she had passed away. He opened one of the journals to check the date. It was from 1943, just after Steve had undergone the procedure. He replaced it and checked each one after it until he found the time he was looking for.

_~ We got the news today that Sergeant Barnes was lost during the capture of Arnim Zola. It's a blow to everyone. Barnes is the first man the Commandos have lost. I hope to God he will be the last, but his death is still one too many._

_Steve is beside himself. Barnes was like a brother to him. Steve disobeyed a direct order to rescue him, which says just as much about Barnes as it does about him. Steve is not in the habit of following orders he doesn't agree with, but to risk that much, Barnes must have been an extraordinary man. He will be greatly missed. ~_

He flipped to the next page.

_~I found Steve in a bar this afternoon. Barnes death has left him inconsolable and the poor thing was attempting to drown his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. Unfortunately, the serum has increased his metabolism to the point where that is all but impossible. I truly pity him. When my brother was killed, at least I was able to take the edge off with a glass of sherry. It doesn't solve anything, but it does help ease the burden for a minute. I think that says something about the state he's in that he hasn't discovered this sooner. All the things he's seen, and he never felt the need to drink enough to test his limits.~_

Steve had never been much of a drinker, even before the war. When his mother died, they had spent the night up on the roof in silence, just looking at the stars. Bucky had brought a bottle of gin, but Steve had barely had enough to get tipsy. Bucky flipped ahead a few days.

_~The change I've seen in Steve over since we lost Barnes frightens me. He was always a bit rash, but without Barnes, he has become desperate and reckless. I fear he's lost some of his spirit. He is determined to bring an end to HYDRA, but it will be a hollow victory for him. I only hope that Steve will not lose sight of what he is fighting for. If we give up now, Barnes life was sacrificed for nothing. I hope Steve can console himself with the idea of revenge or I am afraid he might do something foolish. I do hope he can come through this. I don't know what I would do without him around.~_

Bucky closed the journal. The next entry dealt with Steve's death and Bucky had no business prying into her grief. He set it back on the shelf and looked around the room. On the desk was a manila folder with Russian writing on the front. Inside was a picture of a man in a cryotube with a smaller picture paper clipped at the bottom. It took a second to recognize both were him. His appearance was a strange thing. Some days the man staring back at him in the mirror with the long hair and the haunted eyes looked like a stranger, but the cheerful man with the cocky grin in the picture beside Steve's bed didn't seem right either.

The door to the study opened. "Oh it's just you," Wilson yawned. He turned to leave but the file caught his attention. "So that's just the tip of the iceberg, huh?"

"There's more in here than I thought," Bucky admitted.

Wilson nodded sleepily. "If you fall asleep in here, try not to drool on anything."

He closed the door, leaving Bucky alone with the past.

* * *

**_-MONDAY - 7:34 AM-_ **

When Sam came back from his run, there was still half a pot of coffee left. After the other day, he had expected Barnes to drink it all out of spite. Maybe this was Barnes apologizing for running off.

Sam poured a glass of orange juice and drank it before getting a cup of coffee. Barnes came in from the patio.

"You're back," he noted.

"Yeah, and it's your morning for breakfast," Sam reminded him.

"I'm making pancakes," Barnes said, taking the bowl out of the cabinet.

"Again?" Sam complained. "Can you at least make some bacon with it?"

Barnes took the package out of the fridge and held it up for Sam to see. "Tell me about your friend."

Sam glared at him. "Cheap shot, man."

Barnes threw the package back in the refrigerator. "Make your own bacon," he said, measuring out the Bisquick.

"Fine," Sam said. "But I want it crispy! Not burned, crispy." He sat down at the table. "And I'm not saying a word until I hear sizzling."

Barnes retrieved the package from the refrigerator. "What was his name?"

Sam scowled for a moment, but then it struck him. Maybe this was Barnes trying to be nice, one wounded soldier reaching out to help another.

"Riley. Now hurry up with that bacon."

* * *

**_-MONDAY - 9:00 AM-_ **

"So, training exercise," Wilson said. "We were just supposed to keep it nice and level. Riley closed up the wings and dove 2000 feet. Reopened them right before he slammed into a hilltop. I swear, he did it just to give me a heart attack. Son of a bitch was laughing the whole way back up."

Bucky chuckled. He was starting to see why Steve had been drawn to Wilson. There was a lot about the man that reminded Bucky of the way Steve described him before the war.

"Ok your turn," Wilson said. "I'm sure you have a ton of embarrassing stories about Steve during the war."

Bucky retreated into thought. He had them, but they weren't always easy to recall. One filtered into his mind. He laughed. Steve was going to kill him for this.

"Ok, so we were in this little town in the Italian Alps-"

"Oh come on!" Steve cried from the door. "You can't remember my birthday, but you remember that story?"

The memory dissipated. Bucky had been so focused, he hadn't heard the team come in. "Damn, I lost it." Steve looked crestfallen.

"Don't worry," Bucky said. "I think I've written it down before."

"Good," Sharon said, patting Steve on the shoulder. "I can't wait to hear this one."

"And your birthday is July 4th, 1918," Bucky added.

Steve smiled. "Everything go alright?"

Bucky's eyes darted over to Wilson.

"Fine. No trouble," Wilson lied.

Bucky scoffed. "Except this asshole ate the whole pizza the other night before I got a slice."

"You ate the whole pan of brownies," Wilson reminded him.

"That was last week."

"Ok, well neither of you gets a doughnut." Steve said, setting the box down on the counter. "You've clearly had enough junk food. I'm going to take a shower and they'd better be there when I get out."

Steve left and the others dispersed to unpack. Bucky looked at the box and then at Wilson.

"You know he's going to be pissed," Wilson warned him.

"So?"

"So," Wilson said, "did you want the jelly filled or the glazed?"

**_-End-_ **


	7. Agent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the team is on a mission, Sharon and Bucky meet the new neighbor.

Sharon looked out the window at the moving van parked next door. In the driveway, an older black woman was shouting instructions at the movers.

"Spying on the neighbors?" Steve asked, coming to stand beside her.

"We have neighbors to spy on again. Someone bought the house next door."

"Anyone we should be worried about?"

"Not unless HYDRA is recruiting old ladies," Sharon joked. "She looks harmless enough, but I won't know until we go over there and meet her."

"Not sure you get the point of a hideout," Steve said.

Sharon gave Steve a challenging look. "You do not want to play this game with me Rogers. It will not end well for you. I'm not suggesting we attend the Block Party, but I think it might seem a little suspicious if we don't say hello to the woman moving in next door."

"We never met the last owner," Steve said.

"That's because he was a grouchy old fart who yelled at me every time I mowed the lawn before noon. And we don't need you to pick up the slack now that he's gone."

"Quiet," Steve whispered. "Natasha will hear you and I'll have to listen to a hour of cradle robbing jokes."

"I'm just trying to be a good neighbor," Sharon said.

"Oh yeah, I know exactly what type of neighbor you are, Kate," Steve teased her.

"Right, so you know I can be friendly and still maintain my cover."

"Until you come barging in with a gun," Steve muttered.

"Well unless someone shoots up the house next door, I don't see that being an issue."

Steve cleared his throat. "He's living with us, remember?" He said quietly.

"I really forget that was him sometimes," Sharon said, looking around the room to be sure Bucky hadn't heard them. "I'd just like to have someone in this neighborhood that waves when I'm jogging, and we should know who we're living beside."

"No, it's a bad idea," Steve said. His phone beeped. "But we have a mission, so we'll have to discuss this later."

* * *

 

"Everyone clear?" Steve asked the team after he finished the briefing. They nodded. "Good, we move out in 30 minutes."

"Who's the stay behind?" Natasha asked. Steve tapped his fingers on the table. He had forgotten about that.

"Is that even still necessary?" Wanda asked. "It's starting to be kind of a hassle."

Steve looked to Sam. He hadn't mentioned any problems, but that didn't mean Bucky should be left alone.

"Probably good to keep it up for a little while longer, just to be sure," Sam said.

"We can discuss it when we get back, but I don't want to alter protocol right before a mission," Steve agreed. Wanda had a point, but he still had his doubts about leaving Bucky on his own.

"Not like you and I ever have to do it anyway," Scott said to Wanda. He frowned and looked at Steve. "Is there a reason for that?"

"I'll stay," Sharon volunteered before Steve had to answer. "I think you can manage without a chauffeur on this one."

"Alright, gear up and move out," Steve said.

The team dispersed to prepare but Steve stayed back to talk to Sharon.

"Are you going to be ok here?"

"I'll be fine," Sharon assured him. "We'll get take out and watch some movies. I'll get him to tell me embarrassing childhood stories about you. It'll be fun."

"Well be careful, the news said there's been a rash of break-ins in the area."

"Any moron who breaks in here has it coming," Sharon said.

"I know, I meant watch your aim. We don't need to deal with a police report if you kill an intruder." He kissed her quickly. "And please don't go over to the neighbors," he pleaded.

"Don't worry about me, just come home safe," she said as he headed upstairs.

 

* * *

 

The scent of chicken and sage wafted through the kitchen when Bucky came up from the basement. Sharon was watching the oven timer intently.

"What's that?" he asked.

"It's not for us," she said apologetically. "We have a new neighbor so I was going to take it over and introduce myself."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Bucky asked, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl. The smell was making him hungry. "We're supposed to be laying low."

"You sound like Steve," Sharon muttered. The timer dinged and she took the casserole out of the oven and set it on a trivet.

"Where is Steve?"

"They had a mission. They should be back in a couple of days."

Bucky chuckled. "So you're going over while he's not here to talk you out of it."

"Everyone seems to forget that this is my house. I'm letting you all live here out of the goodness of my heart," she reminded him, "so if I want to make friends with the neighbors, I will."

"Well I never said I was going to stop you." If she was like Peggy, he wouldn't be able to. Steve always did have a thing for strong willed dames.

"Good. Are you coming?" Sharon asked.

Bucky considered for a moment. He hadn't talked to his neighbors in Bucharest, but there were a few people around town he saw regularly. He missed that interaction. Even if it was risky, it had made his life feel normal. It would be refreshing to talk to someone besides Steve and the team.

"Let me go change."

"Take your time, this has to cool."

Bucky put on his glasses and styled his hair. He and Natasha had been playing with different looks. She had suggested he cut it, but he was still holding off from that. He couldn't decide how short he wanted it. His old style from the war didn't seem to fit him anymore, but he wasn't sure what would.

He put on a long sleeve button up shirt over the t-shirt he was wearing and put on a glove. He needed to come up with a more discreet way to cover his arm. So far, no one had asked about the glove, but wearing sleeves in the warm weather drew some looks, and he was getting tired of being hot all the time.

When he came down, Sharon was wrapping foil on the casserole dish.

"So, what's our story?" Bucky asked.

"You're my boyfriend's loser brother, and you're living with us because you lost your job."

"Can't I be something less pathetic?" Bucky asked, following her out the door.

"Be whatever you want, just be believable and remember not to use your real name."

"I know how to do this," he said. "I stayed hidden for two years."

"Fair point," Sharon conceeded. "I'm used to doing this with Steve and he can be a little-"

"He doesn't lie well," Bucky finished.

"He does not," she concurred, picking up the casserole dish. "Ready?"

They went next door and rang the bell. There was no answer. Sharon shifted the casserole to one hand and knocked. Again, there was no answer.

"Maybe she's not home," Bucky suggested. He wondered if Sharon would want to go into the city if she wasn't. He had put a lot of work into his disguise and he hated for it to go to waste.

Sharon knocked again. Bucky heard a string of cursing from inside the house and the door opened.

"Sorry about that!" the old woman said, wiping her hands on a grubby pair of blue jeans. "I've been trying to fix the sink all morning. What can I do for you?"

"I'm Sharon and this is-"

"Jimmy," Bucky said, quickly offering his right hand for the woman to shake. "We live next door."

"Eileen Mackenzie," she introduced herself, shaking Bucky's hand.

"We brought you a casserole," Sharon said. "I figured you'd be too busy to cook dinner."

"How thoughtful!" The woman said. "I wish my oven worked so I could actually heat it up."

"Oh no!" Sharon said. "What's wrong with it?"

Mrs. Mackenzie threw up her hands. "Damned if I know! Nothing works in this house."

"Jimmy's pretty good with his hands," Sharon said. "Maybe he could take a look?"

"Oh if you don't mind, dear," Mrs. Mackenzie said.

Bucky shrugged. "Not at all."

"Well, come in."

Mrs. Mackenzie showed them into the kitchen. It was decorated in an array of strange colors and bold patterns. Most of the appliances looked old and well used.

"Pardon the mess," she said. "It's a bit of a fixer upper, but it's got character."

"That's one way to put it," Bucky muttered.

Mrs. Mackenzie took the casserole from Sharon and put it in the refrigerator, which seemed to be the only new appliance. She handed Bucky a tool box.

"Stove's over there. We'll get out of your way. Let me show you the backyard Sharon. I'm really not sure what to do with it yet if you have any suggestions."

They went out the back door, leaving Bucky alone in the kitchen. He took off his glove and rolled up his sleeves to the elbow. Opening the toolbox, he looked at the array of tools inside. He had vague memories of fixing things for Steve's mom in their apartment. Steve's father had died before he was born and his mom had never had much money, so Bucky had taken over the task of keeping the Rogers' apartment in working order. Steve wasn't really strong enough for a lot of repair work and his mother was afraid of the dust or dirt triggering his asthma. Even so, Steve was so eager to help it was hard to say no. Bucky let him pitch in where he was able, asking Steve to hand him tools or fetch things. Usually, Bucky could have done it quicker by himself, but he always enjoyed having Steve there to talk with while he worked. Sometimes, Steve would sit back and draw and they would race to see who could finish first.

Whistling some old song from a cartoon, Bucky opened the oven and set to work.

 

* * *

 

Sharon followed Mrs. Mackenzie back into the house. The garden was a mess and she still knew very little about her new neighbor. Mrs. Mackenzie had a strange talent for talking a lot and saying very little.

"And how is it going young man?" Mrs. Mackenzie asked as they walked into the kitchen.

Bucky wiped his hands, hiding his metal arm with a towel. "There was a loose screw in the heating element," he said. "I think you'll need a new one soon, but it should work for now."

"Wonderful! Say, how are you with plumbing?"

"Not bad," Bucky said cautiously.

"Well, the faucet is leaking and the sink is clogged," Mrs. Mackenzie said. "Come on, Sharon, I'll show you the rest of the house."

Sharon left Bucky in the kitchen and followed Mrs. Mackenzie into the living room. Boxes were piled against the wall and the furniture was placed haphazardly around the room. Most of it was fairly new as though it had been purchased recently.

"I haven't had a chance to unpack a damn thing. I tried to get a glass of water and ended up fighting that damn sink until you showed up. Your boyfriend is a lifesaver."

"Oh he's not my boyfriend," Sharon said quickly.

"Don't be shy dear," Mrs. Mackenzie said. "I lived through the 60's. It takes a lot to shock me."

"Well I do live with my boyfriend, but Jimmy is his brother. He hit a bit of a rough patch so he's staying with us until he's back on his feet," Sharon explained. "We share the house with some friends too. Helps pay the mortgage."

"Well, I'll have to have you all over for dinner once I get this place fixed up." She led Sharon upstairs. "Four bedrooms, not that I know what I'm going to do with half of them."

"Where did you move from?" Sharon asked, trying to steer the conversation toward Mrs. Mackenzie's background.

"California. I retired a few years ago and I needed a change."

"What did you do before you retired?" Sharon asked.

"Oh, this and that. Life's too short to stay in one place, you know?"

"Do you have family back in California?" Sharon probed.

"A brother, a sister-in-law, and two nephews. Good boys. They said they'd come visit. One of them will, we'll have to see about the other."

She led Sharon back down to the den and moved a few boxes to clear off a seat. Sharon tried to peek in one but it only contained throw pillows. This was going to be a long afternoon.

 

* * *

 

"That was exhausting," Sharon sighed as they left the house.

"You're not the one who had to fix half the kitchen," Bucky griped.

"Where did you learn to do that?" She realized how little she knew about Bucky beyond what Steve had told her and what she had read on the Winter Soldier. She had spent the afternoon trying to gather information on the woman next door, but how much did she really know about the man across the hall?

"Wait, you didn't know I could?" Bucky asked, surprised.

"No," Sharon confessed. "I just needed an excuse to snoop around the house and keep her talking."

"I should have known," Bucky muttered.

"A month after you move in, Mr. Orman decides to sell his house," Sharon told him. "He's in perfect health and he's lived there since 1964. There's no reason he would suddenly leave. I have detailed dossiers on everyone in the neighborhood and no one poses a significant security risk. We don't know Mrs. Mackenzie and I needed to be sure it was safe."

"You could have told me!" Bucky said. "I do understand espionage. I could have helped. I was alone most of the day."

"You're right," Sharon said. "Dinner is your choice. Anywhere you want to go."

"I think I just want to get take out and watch a movie," Bucky said.

"Have you tried Thai?" She suggested. "I'm in the mood for Thai?"

"You said it was my choice, and we're getting Chinese," Bucky said.

"Fine," Sharon said, unlocking the kitchen door. "So where did you learn to fix a stove?"

Bucky shrugged. "I'm not sure. I used to fix stuff around the house so I guess my father taught me. And I think I learned some of it in the Army." In reality, much of his technical knowledge was from Hydra, but he didn't want to discuss it right then. "Steve didn't have a father so I used to fix stuff for his mom. In Bucharest I worked as a handyman since it was one of the few things I could do that paid cash."

"And you still can't use the coffee maker."

"I could probably fix it." Bucky joked. He went to the sink to wash his hands. "Did you at least find what you needed?"

"No, everything was boxed up. But she's willing to have us back over so I'll get a chance to look around when she's had a chance to unpack. Can we please get Thai?" Sharon pleaded again.

"Fine," Bucky conceded. "But we get to stop for ice cream."

 

* * *

 

Bucky and Sharon sat on the sofa. They each had a pint of Haagen Dazs. Sharon had strawberry while Bucky had opted for Vanilla Swiss Almond. He let a spoon full of ice cream melt in his mouth.

"Ice cream was not this good in the 40's." he said. "I don't know what they've done to it, but it was a good change."

Sharon smiled. "See, the future isn't so bad."

"So why didn't you just tell Steve that you wanted to gather information on the new neighbor?" Bucky asked. It seemed like a reasonable precaution to him.

"You know how he is," Sharon said. "He'd rather confront things head on. He can keep a secret just fine but he's not really comfortable with spying on people. Deep down he still trusts people and he wants to think everyone is who they say they are, even if he knows better."

Bucky let another spoon of ice cream melt on his tongue. "Is it weird dating a guy 70 years older than you?"

"It still bothers you that he kissed my Aunt, doesn't it?"

"Your entire relationship is weird." Bucky said. He set the container on the table. "I'm just curious if it gets in the way."

Sharon grinned. "Is there someone special?"

Bucky shook his head.  "No, I haven't been on a date since 1944." He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to have a relationship after everything that happened. It was the last thing on his mind, but part of him still held out hope.

"Honestly, it's not that different from anyone else," she said. "At the end of the day, on the couch in front of the TV, he's just Steve. We talk about what we want to do on the weekend, bicker about stupid stuff. Just like anyone else. Sometimes he says something odd or doesn't get a joke, but it's cute."

"The Captain America thing didn't phase you?"

"Well, I didn't meet him in a normal way," Sharon confessed. "I was assigned to protect him and I lived across the hall. For about a year he thought I was a nurse. He wasn't supposed to find out the way he did."

"What happened?" Bucky asked. Sharon froze with the spoon in her mouth. "What, did you walk in on him in the bath?" he teased.

She set the ice cream on the table. "When the Winter Soldier was sent after Director Fury, Fury hid in Steve's apartment. I lived across the hall and when I heard gunshots, I had to go over and make sure he was ok."

Bucky swallowed a spoon of ice cream to quiet the churning in his stomach. Sam, Sharon, and Natasha had all been in DC with Steve and it was unrealistic to think they would never mention it. He didn't like being reminded of the things he had done, but he was tired of everyone acting like they had stepped on a landmine when something came up in conversation. Natasha at least was upfront about their encounters. It stung when she mentioned it, but she never treated him like he would break.

Bucky forced a smile to put Sharon at ease. "So you just barged in and said 'I'm Peggy Carter's niece, are you alright?'" He said with forced levity.

Sharon laughed and picked up her ice cream again. Even if it was fake, the tension had eased. "No. He didn't find that out until Aunt Peggy's funeral last year. I introduced myself as Agent 13."

Bucky's laugh was genuine this time. "I spent years trying to find him a girl and he found two without me."

"Hmm, I think we found him," Sharon said. "But you two have different taste in women."

"You're right about that," Bucky conceded. "I'm happy for him though. It was hard to watch him sometimes, not just getting overlooked by the girls, but no one gave him much credit. People can be shallow. He's an incredible guy, but no one really saw it until after the serum. I was so worried leaving him behind when I shipped out, but I think I was even more worried afterwards. I was afraid everyone would get blinded by all the newsreels and propaganda and no one would really see that skinny guy inside. I'm glad you could, 'cause that's the best part of him."

"Yes, I saw through all the glam to the guy who can't figure out how to load a dishwasher properly," Sharon joked.

Before Bucky could respond, the sound of glass breaking drew their attention.

"Did you hear that?" Sharon said.

"Yeah, next door," Bucky said.

Sharon took her gun out of the holster to check it. "Stay here, I'll check it out."

Bucky caught her arm. "Hell no. I'm not letting you go alone."

"I'm a trained SHIELD Agent," she reminded him.

"Yeah, but you're still not going alone," he insisted.

"Is this one of those macho 1940's things?" Sharon asked impatiently.

"Call it what you want," Bucky said. "I was always taught you look out for your best pal's girl."

Sharon scowled. "Your concept of gender roles needs some serious updating," she said, putting the ice cream in the freezer.

"Yeah, well it's not happening in the next hour-" Sharon cut Bucky off with a raised finger.

"You call me sweetheart, I will put you through a wall," she said.

"Ma'am," Bucky finished. This woman was so much like Peggy it was frightening.

"Are you armed?" she asked reluctantly, taking a silencer out of the junk drawer.

"A knife," Bucky said.

"Good, probably best to go in quiet. Mr. O'Leary across the street has the police on speed dial."

"What's the plan?"

"We'll go around back. Maybe she's just beating up the kitchen appliances."

"If she broke that sink again, I'm stabbing her in the ass."

Sharon took point and they went to the backyard. Bucky wrenched a board free from the fence and they slipped through. Staying low, they ran along the edge of the yard to the porch. The lock on the back door was broken. Sharon looked up to the second floor. There was a light on in the far right window.

"Give me a boost to the awning," Sharon said. "I'll sweep the top and work my way down, you sweep the first floor and come up."

He hoisted Sharon up and she climbed in through an open window. Bucky crept in the back door. He heard voices coming from upstairs.

"Where is it, you old hag?"

"Please, I don't know what you're talking about!" Mrs. MacKenzie cried. She was alive at least and the man was looking for something, which meant she was safe for the moment.

Bucky checked the ground floor rooms. He quietly wedged a chair under the handle of the basement door to block the exit and moved silently up the stairs. Sharon was crouched in the bedroom across from the stairwell, her gun aimed down the hall where the noise was coming from.

"I heard her say there are two more in the basement," she whispered. "You get them, I'll get this one."

Bucky nodded and slipped back downstairs. He opened the basement door and eased down the stairs. The two men were by the washing machine with their backs to him.

"Where is it?" One of them grumbled as they tore through a stack of boxes.

He crept up on the nearest one and grabbed him from behind, strangling him with an arm. The man kicked over a box and the second one turned. He looked at Bucky for a minute before recognition lit up his eyes. Bucky slammed the first man into the wall and drew his knife. These were no ordinary burglars.

He attacked. The man fended off the first wave but a knee to the back brought him down. Bucky pinned him to the wall.

"What are you after?"

The man laughed. "Hail HYDRA."

He cracked a tooth. Bucky shoved his hand in the man's mouth and ripped out the cyanide capsule.

"HYDRA is dead." Bucky spat. HYDRA was gone. It had to be. He was free.

"Cut off one head-"

Bucky grabbed the man's throat with his metal hand.

"I know the one I'm going to start with!" He jammed his knife into the man's jugular and then pressed his right hand against it to stop the flow of blood.

"You're going to bleed out and no one is going to help you," he said. "Before you die I want you to know that turning me into that thing was the biggest mistake HYDRA ever made. Whatever is left of you, I am going to rip apart with my bare hands."

He took his hand away. Blood spurted from the wound, spraying all over Bucky's face and arms. The man fell to the ground, weakly trying to bring a hand up to his neck. Bucky stomped it back to the floor, feeling several bones crack as the life drained out of the man. He heard a noise from the corner. The first man had come to and was gaping in horror at the blood drenched Winter Soldier. Bucky grabbed him by the throat with his metal hand and squeezed. The man kicked him in the stomach but Bucky's grip never loosened.

"Bucky!" He heard a woman yell. He tightened his grip. HYDRA would pay, starting with these two.

A muffled gunshot made him flinch. He dropped the man and ducked to the side. Another shot went through the man's forehead. Bucky looked at the door. Sharon was there. In front of her was Mrs. Mackenzie holding a gun.

"They were HYDRA," he said to Sharon. Suddenly he couldn't breathe. Both his hands were dripping with blood, none of it his. He could feel drops rolling down his face and soaking into his shirt. "They were HYDRA," he whispered, staring at the pool spreading across the floor.

"Bucky," Sharon said, approaching him cautiously. Bucky focused on her voice. This was Steve's girl. He could trust her. This was Steve's girl. He didn't want to hurt her.

"Bucky," she said again. "This is Eileen MacKenzie, SHIELD special service."

"Retired of course," Mrs. Mackenzie explained.

Bucky looked at the woman. Sharon had used his name. "She knows who we are?"

"I'll explain later," Sharon said, coming over to him. She put a hand on his shoulder. He could feel the wet blood soaking into his shirt under the weight of her hand.

"You should get him home," Mrs. Mackenzie said to Sharon. "I'll check on you tomorrow."

Bucky let Sharon lead him out of the basement. The blood had smeared onto her hands and her clothes.

"They were HYDRA," he reminded himself.

"Yes, they were," Sharon said, "but they weren't after us. They thought Mrs. Mackenzie had some file they wanted. You had to do it, they saw you and they would have blown our cover." Sharon sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as him.

"They were HYDRA."

 

* * *

 

Bucky was shaking as she led him up to the bathroom. Sharon tried to focus. They had to clean up the blood. They could worry about the rest later.

"Ok, into the shower. Just leave your clothes on the floor, I'll put them in the wash." Sharon waited outside until she heard the shower start. Quickly, she gathered up the clothes from the floor and took them down to the basement. She rinsed them in the sink before throwing them in the washing machine, then stripped off her own clothes and washed her hands and arms in the sink. Shaking the water off her hands, she looked in the dryer, hoping to find something to wear. Everything in there was Steve's but it would do for now. She took a t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts.

With the clothing taken care of, she ran upstairs to clean any traces of the blood from the house before Bucky got out of the shower. He didn't need any reminders of what had happened. The cold fury in his eyes when she had found him frightened her. From the stunned confusion after she had snapped him out of it, she could tell it frightened him too. Sharon went to Bucky and Steve's room and found him a clean set of clothes. She laid them on the bed and went back to the kitchen. She opened the cabinet under the sink to get the cleaner out. Her stomach convulsed and she quickly stood, leaning over to vomit into the sink. She hadn't seen the other man die, but he had bled out from a neck wound. From the blood spatter, she was sure Bucky had done it.

She retched again. They were HYDRA, they had to die, but she knew Bucky could have done a cleaner job of it. He wanted them to suffer. He would have choked the second man if Mrs. Mackenzie hadn't shot him first. She waited a minute to be sure she was done, then rinsed out her mouth and took a bottle of wine out of the fridge. She took a quick swig, and got the cleaner and a sponge.

The water was still running when she went upstairs. She slipped quietly into the bathroom and cleaned the blood smear off the linoleum. Then she took a quick glance around to be sure that he hadn't touched anything else, and went to the hallway. She traced their steps back through the house, mopping up any drops of blood. She rinsed out the sponge and cleaned up the kitchen floor. Stepping outside, she turned on the garden hose and sprayed down the walkway and the fence.

With the evidence washed away, Sharon went back in the house and took a wine glass out of the cabinet. She filled it from the bottle on the counter and drank the entire glass without stopping. She set the glass down with a clink and leaned against the counter.

"Are you ok?" Bucky asked from the doorway. His hair was still wet, but the blood was gone.

Sharon reached for the bottle. "This is the part of the job no one ever sees," she said pouring the wine into her glass. "Drowning your doubt and self loathing in a bottle of cheap wine." She finished the glass and set it aside. "We didn't have a choice. They were HYDRA. They would have killed us."

Bucky took a seat on the other side of the kitchen island. "I haven't killed anyone in three years."

Sharon reached into a high cabinet and took out a bottle of whiskey. "Bucky, they were HYDRA," she said, pouring them each a glass. "We had to kill them or they would have given us away. We didn't have a choice."

"I know," Bucky said, staring at the glass. "But I wanted to kill them. He said, 'Hail HYDRA' and something in me just snapped. I wanted to see them die."

Sharon sipped the whiskey, feeling the burn in her throat. "Those bastards took everything from you, of course you want them dead."

Bucky picked up the glass, but just held it for a moment. "I've never wanted to kill before. In the war, I was just doing it to survive, to protect my friends. With HYDRA, I didn't feel anything." He threw back the whiskey and set the glass down. "I wanted to see him die, slowly. I wanted him to suffer, to feel helpless." He looked at her. Sharon felt a chill run through her body.

"It'll be ok, Bucky." she said quietly. "We saved Mrs. Mackenzie and no one is coming to find us."

"Wait, we?" Bucky said.

Sharon took a sip of her whiskey. "I told you I'd take care of the one upstairs." She could still hear the shot from her gun and the thud of the lifeless body hitting the carpet. She took another drink. "All the years I've been doing this and I still can't get used to this part. I can pull the trigger without hesitating, but afterwards," she trailed off.

"I don't think you're supposed to get used to this," Bucky said.

He refilled both of their glasses. They drank. Sharon stepped toward the fridge and stumbled. The bottle of wine was starting to hit. Bucky jumped up to help her.

"You're done," he said, picking her up in his arms. 

"You take this whole, watching out for your pal's girl thing pretty seriously," Sharon said.

"Yep, that's how they raise us in Brooklyn."

Sharon laid her head against his shoulder as he carried her upstairs. It was the metal one, but he was surprisingly gentle with it.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't know it was going to be that messy. Steve is going to be pissed."

"He won't care," Bucky assured her. "He'll just be glad you're ok."

Bucky carried her into her room and set her on the bed. He turned to leave but she caught his shirt.

"Don't go, I don't want to sleep alone tonight."

Bucky sighed. "Let me go get my stuff."

"No!" she slurred. "Can I sleep in Steve's bed? It smells like him and I really miss him." Steve wouldn't be back for two days, but all she wanted right now was to curl up in his arms and forget this night ever happened.

Bucky helped her off the bed and led her across the hall to his and Steve's room. The bed was perfectly made and the sheets were crisp, but it still had his scent. Bucky pulled back the covers and guided her into the sheets. He threw an extra blanket on top. It was warm, but the weight was comforting.

"Goodnight," she yawned.

Bucky crawled into his own bedding. "Goodnight."

 

* * *

 

Sharon came down early the next morning. Bucky had expected her to sleep longer. By his count, she had drunk an entire bottle of wine and two glasses of scotch in less than an hour. It was a miracle she was even standing today.

"Oh my god," she moaned, sliding into a chair at the island. "I'm getting too old to do that." She lay her forehead on the cool granite.

"What can I get you?" Bucky asked.

"Coffee with lots of sugar and toast. Make some bacon, I'll decide after the coffee."

"There's coffee, but it's kind of bitter," Bucky warned her as he took the skillet out of the drawer.

"Whatever, just need the sugar," she moaned. He handed her a mug.

"Is that how you always deal with this?" he asked.

"Yep," she muttered, lifting her head slightly to sip the coffee. "God, you really don't know how to use that thing! I thought Steve was exaggerating."

"I would have gone to Starbucks, but I thought we should lay low."

"Ugh, probably." The toast popped up and Bucky put it on a plate for her. She picked at it weakly. "I'm sorry you ended up taking care of me last night. Should have been the other way around."

"You held it together pretty well at the beginning," Bucky said. He had been glad for the escape from his own dark thoughts. He didn't regret going with her, it was the least he owed Steve, but he didn't want to dwell on what had happened in the basement. "You never told me what they were after."

"Nothing," Sharon said. "Bad information. But it had nothing to do with us, our cover is intact."

"Except she's with SHIELD." Bucky said. He knew that there were parts of SHIELD that had not been involved in Hydra, but he was still cautious of anyone who claimed allegiance to them.

Someone knocked on the door before he could say more. Sharon perked up, but didn't move. Bucky went to the front door and looked through the peephole. Mrs. Mackenzie was standing there. He cracked the door slightly.

"Mrs. Mackenzie, what can we do for you?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "Unless you know how to get brains out of carpet, but I have a few tricks for that myself."

She handed Bucky a box. "I thought you might be a little slow getting started this morning so I brought you a coffee cake. I wanted to thank you for last night. Mind if I come in? I feel like I have some explaining to do."

"This may not be the best time," Bucky said. Sharon wasn't well and he wasn't sure he trusted this woman.

She looked at him. "I think it really would be best if I did, Sergeant Barnes."

Bucky's hand went for his knife but it wasn't there.

"Who is it?" Sharon asked, coming down the hall. "Bucky let her in," she said when she saw Mrs. Mackenzie.

Sharon led her to the kitchen, Bucky followed at a distance, ready to run if things turned. Sharon and Mrs. Mackenzie sat at the table.

"Who were those men?" Bucky demanded.

"You heard them! They were HYDRA, or at least what's left," Mrs. Mackenzie said. "Serpents take a long time to die. Like I told you last night, I'm retired from SHIELD. They think I have a file with God knows what in it, but they got their wires crossed."

Sharon sipped her coffee, trying to look stern. "I don't think it's a coincidence that you moved here."

"You're right. My nephew Alphonso set this up. He's a SHIELD agent. He said that he and some of his friends have an arrangement with you, and Agent Coulson wanted to have a secure drop point for anything they might need to hand over. My nephew coming to visit looks a lot less suspicious than the men in black knocking on your door. And they thought you could use the extra security."

"Why now?" Sharon asked.

"Three weeks ago, they intercepted security footage of that incident at the mall. They managed to edit out any identifying features of Sergeant Barnes appearance, but they thought an extra set of eyes might be prudent."

Bucky sighed. He had been seen after all.

"I don't mean this to sound rude, but, if those men found you, how can we be sure it's safe?" Sharon asked.

"They gave away their hideout. That attack helped bring down a large cell. They were tracking me. I met with Agent Coulson and he gave me the mortgage agreement and insurance papers. They screwed that up into some file they've been chasing. It was a coincidence. The location is not compromised, at least not by anyone who matters."

"So, why didn't you tell us this to begin with?" Sharon asked.

Mrs. Mackenzie laughed. "Boredom. I know it's silly, but I wanted to see how long it would take you to figure me out. And to be honest, you wouldn't have believed me if I'd been upfront about this."

"Probably not," Sharon admitted.

"Well, I'll let you get back to your hangover," she said, standing to leave. "I took care of the cleaning, so don't worry about that. I still have plenty of repairs if you'd like to make a little money, young man."

"I'll think about it," Bucky said. Mrs. Mackenzie left and Bucky returned to the stove. "Do you still want bacon?" he asked Sharon.

"So much bacon," she said.

Bucky took out the bacon and a couple of eggs for himself. "You know, she's not bad really. At least there's someone here we don't have to lie to. Steve should like that."

"Less talking, more bacon." Sharon moaned. Bucky chuckled and turned on the burner.

 

* * *

 

When Steve came home, he was expecting Sharon to tell him about some garden party they had been invited to next door. The story she told him was far more disturbing. He went up stairs to find Bucky. He was sitting on his sleeping bag reading through his journals as usual. Steve dropped his gear at the foot of the bed, Bucky looked up.

"How was the mission," he asked.

"Not nearly as exciting as what happened here," Steve said.

"Sharon told you?"

"I don't think she'll let me forget that one for a while. I figured she wouldn't listen to me, but I didn't think she'd be right." Steve sat down on the bed. "She told me about what happened in the basement. She said you insisted on going with her."

"I feel kind of stupid for going now," Bucky said.

"Thanks for not listening to her," Steve said. "She's good and I know I don't have to worry about her, but I do."

"Couldn't let your best girl go into that alone," Bucky smiled. "Hang on to that one, and don't crash a plane in the Arctic again. I don't think you'll get that lucky a third time."

"Probably not," Steve said. He paused. "Are you ok?"

"I don't know," Bucky said quietly.

"I'm sorry you were in that position, but you didn't have a choice," Steve told him.

"I did," Bucky contradicted him. "I did have a choice. It wasn't a great one and I'm not sure I like what I decided, but it was my decision."

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know. He said HYDRA and I felt this anger. I just wanted to hurt them, make them suffer some of what they did to me. I even ripped out his tooth to keep him from committing suicide. I wanted him to die slowly. I wanted him to feel helpless. I sliced his jugular and watched him bleed out."

"And?" Steve prompted. He felt sick just listening to Bucky tell him about it.

"I didn't enjoy it, I was just angry." Bucky grimaced. "It scared me. He had to die, but I didn't have to be cruel. That wasn't the Winter Soldier, Steve, that was me. I didn't know I could be that sadistic. I'm no better than they are."

"That's not true," Steve said emphatically. "You're nothing like them, but you're still only human. It's normal to want revenge."

"Yeah, but I don't like it."

"Then don't do it again." Steve told him. "It was you Buck, you made the choice. Even if it was a mistake, it was yours. That's something, right?"

Bucky looked at him. A faint smile crossed his lips. Steve stood and gave Bucky a hand to help him off the floor.

"And next time, you'll make a better choice. But you'll make it. HYDRA isn't in control anymore. It's all you in there." He tapped Bucky's forehead.

Bucky shook his head, but he was smiling. Steve threw his arm around Bucky's shoulders.

"Come on, there's a baseball game on."

"We should go sometime," Bucky suggested as they headed down. "I haven't been to a baseball game in 75 years."

"Me either," Steve said. "I think I was waiting for you."

**-End-**


	8. Good Morning Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky reflects on the progress he's made and the team is face with an important question.

The afternoon rain beat down heavily on the roof as the team sat quietly in the living room. Steve sat in the middle of the couch reading the paper. On the end, Sharon was leaning against the arm with her legs draped across his lap. Every so often, he would reach down and tickle her foot. Her laugh sounded like a squealing pig, but he loved hearing it.

Natasha was standing behind the other couch playing with Bucky's hair. It was getting long, edging past his shoulders now. Soon he'd have to start pulling it back or finally cut it. Sam and Wanda sat beside him, half paying attention to a game show. Scott had wandered off somewhere a few minutes before.

It had been a quiet week and everyone was enjoying some well deserved downtime. It would have been perfect if not for the weather, but Steve still savored these rare moments of peace.

Scott returned, holding a large black box. "Anyone want to play Cards Against Humanity?"

"I'm in," Wanda said. "I have to defend my winning streak."

"Never again," Steve said, hiding behind his newspaper. The last round had been eye opening and rather disturbing.

"Sam?"

"Is Natasha playing?" he asked. "Because that game was messed up."

"Of course I am. Bucky?" she asked, fluffing out the braid she had been working on.

"What's is it?" Bucky asked, reading the package.

"Don't," Steve warned. Bucky had never been easily shocked, but that had been in 1945.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Natasha encouraged him. "I promise I'll go easy."

Steve put the paper down. "You know he's not going to get half the references."

"That's what the internet is for," Natasha said.

"I'll play," Sharon said, swinging her legs onto the floor. "You four need a referee,"

"Fine," Steve said, folding up his paper. "Let me know when this implodes, I'll be in the den."

"Yeah, I'll join you." Sam followed Steve down the hall into the other room.

"I thought you loved that game," Steve said.

"I do.," Sam glanced back toward the living room, "but we need to talk."

Steve pulled the door closed. "Something happen?"

"Yeah, I thought you should know, but I'm going to ask you not to say anything. I told Barnes I wouldn't tell you."

"I can't promise that," Steve said. The tone of Sam's voice made him uneasy.

"I know," Sam replied, "that's why I'm only asking."

"Ok, what's going on?"

Sam glanced back at the door. "When I was watching him, he tried to run away. I caught him, but if I hadn't I don't think he was coming back."

Steve sank heavily to the couch. "Did he say why?"

Sam took a seat, shaking his head. "Well I was being a bit of an ass, but I think it had been running through his head for a while. I didn't get specifics, but it's the kind of stuff we suspected. He thinks you're in over your head and he's worried about how it's going to affect you if something really dark comes out. He doesn't think you can handle it."

"He said that?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," Sam looked at him. "So let me ask, is he right?"

Steve considered Sam's words, unsure how to respond.

"I'm worried about you," Sam admitted. "This hasn't been easy for you, and the way he was talking, it could get a lot worse. Can you handle that?"

Steve shook his head uncertainly. "I don't know. Watching him like this, it reminds me of Peggy at the end. It's hard to see him like this and remember what he used to be like. I'm happy to have him back, really, but it's like I have to get to know him all over again. He's different."

"I know," Sam said, "but you need to prepare yourself in case he remembers something really disturbing, or if he freaks out and does something serious. That thing last week with Sharon was scary."

"You're the one who told me that he's probably going to get worse before he gets better."

"Yeah, and I need you to really get what that means. If he loses control and hurts one of us, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Sam," Steve admitted. "We just need to keep it from happening."

"You need to really think about that, because he has, and his solution was to leave."

Steve rubbed his temples. "Do think he'll try to run again?"

"Not right now," Sam said. "But if something sets him off, he might. I don't suppose sending him back to Wakanda is an option?"

Steve shook his head. "I've tried to contact T'Challa, but he hasn't answered. Whatever the reason for that is, Bucky is safer with us for now."

"Could we call Fury?" Sam suggested.

"Even if I knew how, I'm not sure he'd want to help."

"You don't think he'd be on our side?"

"I think he'd drag me and Tony into a room and yell at us until his eye bulged out of the socket," Steve said. As hard as he had worked to bring them together, Fury wasn't likely to be sympathetic towards either side

"I'm kind of surprised he hasn't done that already."

Steve laughed. "Me too."

"So, are you going to talk to him?" Sam asked.

Steve shook his head. "If you think you handled it, I don't see a reason to bring it up."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Sam apologized. "I was afraid he'd clam up again if he thought I was reporting to you, but after what happened with Sharon, I was worried."

"You did the right thing, and I'm glad you two are getting along now." Steve heard cries of dismay from the living room. "I'd better go check on them."

"Yep," Sam agreed.

Steve and Sam headed back to the living room to rejoin the others.

"Ok, you're the Card Czar now," Scott explained to Bucky. "Just pick whichever one you think is funniest."

"Ok, why am I sticky?" Bucky read from the card. He flipped over the first white card and stood up. "Nope. I'm done."

"What was it?" Wanda asked, reaching for the card. "Oh come on Scott! That's just disgusting."

"Let me see." Natasha grabbed the card. She laughed and set it back on the table. Sharon sighed and tossed her cards on the table.

"That's just disgusting," Bucky said.

"Really Barnes," Natasha teased. "The stories Steve tells, I always figured you would have more of a wild streak."

"Oh, did he tell you that I was the troublemaker?" Bucky balked. "This guy started more trouble than I ever did. He went to the movies and got in a fist fight. I had to finish it for him."

"Well because the guy wouldn't shut up during the newsreel," Steve said. "He was being disrespectful."

"No," Sam said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "This guy? He'd never do anything stupid like that."

Steve saw Sam and Bucky share a look. "Never," Bucky joked "He was total fuddy-duddy. Just sat around drawing all day."

"Fuddy-duddy?" Steve interrupted. He feigned insult, but it was encouraging to see Bucky this engaged. For a brief moment, the old Bucky had come out. "Do you know what this guy did his last night in New York before he got deployed. He dragged me to a science expo."

"I got you a date," Bucky reminded him. "You ditched us to try to enlist for the 50th time.

"Well that one worked and don't tell me you hated being left alone with two beautiful dames," Steve teased.

"Fuddy-duddy, dames, I love it when you guys start talking like my grandfather," Sam teased.

"Respect your elders," Bucky taunted with mock reproach.

"Based on the way you act when someone has a Hershey bar I'm going to say you're about twelve?" Sam jested.

Bucky frowned in concentration, trying to reconstruct the memory. "What was even there that I wanted to see?"

Steve shrugged. The only parts of that night that stood out to him were saying goodbye to Bucky and meeting Dr. Erskine. "I don't remember. Like you said, I got distracted and ran off to join the army."

"No, but there was some demonstration we saw before you ditched us."

Steve snapped his fingers. "The flying car, Howard Stark-" Steve stopped dead and the room fell silent. Bucky looked like he had been stabbed in the gut.

"Bucky, I-"

Bucky hurried out of the room. Wanda watched him, her hand clasped over her mouth. She looked at Steve, Bucky's pain reflected in her eyes. No one moved or spoke until Scott broke the heavy silence.

"I missed something there."

Steve leaned against the back of a chair. "Tony Stark's father, Howard. He worked with me and Bucky in the SSR during the war." He bowed his head, unable to look at anyone.

"The Winter Soldier killed him," Natasha finished for him.

"Oh," was all Scott could say.

"We went to the Stark Expo the night before Bucky shipped out," Steve said mournfully. "I had forgotten Howard was there." 

Sharon slipped her hand into his. "It's not your fault."

Steve squeezed her hand. "I should go talk to him."

Sam shook his head. "Give him a minute."

* * *

Bucky ran down the stairs to the basement struggling to catch his breath. He had remembered that night before in vague detail, but until now, he had never made the connection. Now the memory came into sharp focus, stabbing at him like a shard of broken glass. Howard Stark had been a friend. They had worked together to defeat HYDRA. Stark had flown the plane when Steve came to rescue him in Austria. He had been their ally, their friend, and the Winter Soldier had murdered him. Bucky had crushed his face in and strangled Howard's wife.

_~ Sergeant Barnes?~_

Bucky turned and punched at the bag, yelling as he drove his fist against it. Stark had recognized him. He had died knowing that Bucky Barnes was his murderer. Had they known his connection to Stark or had that been a coincidence? Was that the only time they had used him against an ally from his past? He often wondered if Pierce sending him after Steve had been a sick joke, one he knew Bucky would never get.

His hand was starting to hurt, but he continued to hit the bag, screaming in frustration with every punch. The Winter Soldier had taken everything from him, even some of his best memories from before the war. His last night in New York had been bittersweet, but fun. Now it made him sick to think that he had stood there watching Stark with a smile on his face, not knowing he would one day kill the man. None of his past before the Winter Soldier seemed to matter anymore. No one remembered what he had done or who he had been. They only remembered the weapon HYDRA had turned him into.

Sometimes that was all he could remember too. He would often recall holding a rifle, thinking it was a mission from the war, but when the target came into focus, he realized it was the Winter Soldier pulling the trigger. It was hard to distinguish which memories belonged to Bucky Barnes, and which came from the Winter Soldier. He had begun to wonder if there was even a difference. He had been tortured, brainwashed, manipulated, controlled, yet still the memories were his. On some level, he had been conscious through all of it. He wanted to believe that some part of him had remained buried in the Winter Soldier, but that meant that he had done it, that it had still been him carrying out those orders. Or had he really been so weak that they were able to strip away everything that defined him? Steve had managed to break through 70 years of torture and conditioning. How much of him had really been suppressed if a few words had started to bring him back? How much of Bucky Barnes had been part of the Winter Soldier and how much of the Winter Soldier was still part of him?

Bucky drove all of his confusion and rage into his hands, striking the bag as hard as he could without thought, over and over again until his hand bled and the metal started to tear the bag.

"Bucky?"

Instinctively, Bucky turned and struck out at the person behind him. Steve caught it, but Bucky's reflexes followed up with a strike to the body. Steve blocked that as well and swept Bucky's legs, dropping him to the ground. The fall jolted Bucky back to reality. He lay on the ground, panting to catch his breath.

"Steve."

"I came down to check on you."

He sat down beside Bucky on the mat. Bucky sat up and buried his head in his hands.

"Talk to me," Steve pleaded.

"What if I'm the Winter Soldier?" Bucky said quietly. The thought had plagued him for weeks, but to hear it aloud sent a chill through him.

"You are James Buchanan Barnes," Steve desperately repeated the familiar litany.

"I'm not sure that's true," Bucky clenched his fist in his hair, hugging his knees with the other. "Everything's so mixed up. I'm not sure if Bucky Barnes even exists anymore. Zola turned me into that monster, but the monster is still in there, Steve. What if that's all I am now?"

"You're Bucky Barnes," Steve repeated. "Nothing the Winter Soldier did was you."

"What if it was?" Bucky snapped his head up, looking Steve straight in the eye. He'd held this back long enough; Steve needed to understand. "What if part of me was still in there, still in control and I still did it. I murdered Howard Stark, I shot you." Bucky's voice cracked. "God, they had me so twisted that I almost killed you. What if it was me?"

Steve put his hand on Bucky's shoulder, not daring to speak. Bucky felt a tear run down his cheek, followed by another as he broke down sobbing. Unable to hold back any longer, he leaned over, burying his face against Steve's shoulder as he cried.

* * *

The house was silent as Wanda made her way down. A quick wave lit up the stairs with a soft red glow. She went to the kitchen for a glass of milk and noticed a light in the living room. She found Bucky sitting there with a book.

"We missed you at dinner," she said

"I wasn't hungry," he replied quietly.

"You didn't miss much," she told him. "Scott's night to cook."

Bucky chuckled mirthlessly. "I was in the Army, I've eaten worse."

Wanda sat down in the chair. "Did you enlist?"

"Hell no," Bucky said, closing the book. "I was drafted. Steve was the idiot who wanted to go. I tried to get out of it because I was worried he would pick a fight with someone who actually knew how to throw a punch. I never would have joined the Howling Commandos if it hadn't been him leading. Really, I only went to keep him from doing anything stupid and getting himself killed. I don't think it's a coincidence that he crashed a plane into the North Pole a month after I fell out of a train."

"You may not have had a choice to go but your actions there helped save so many lives," Wanda reminded him.

"None of it matters anymore," Bucky said ruefully. Wanda flinched. The anguish she felt from him burned like ice. "The Winter Soldier destroyed everything good I ever did in this world. For every life I saved in the war, the Winter Soldier destroyed dozens. And everything I did had repercussions beyond the target."

Wanda flicked her wrist, a red glow swirling around her fingers. "I wasn't born like this," she said. She waved her hand, and the ceiling fan started to spin. "These powers were created by HYDRA to be a weapon. I still don't know how to fully control them and I'm not even sure if I can."

"Have you been reading my mind?" Bucky asked. She could feel him tense up.

"I don't have to," she said in a soothing tone. When they first met, she had peeked at the surface and found guilt and pain so similar to her own. His ran much deeper, but it was a struggle she understood.

"I joined the Avengers because I saw what my powers did under HYDRA's direction, and Ultron's. I didn't want to be someone else's weapon anymore. Strucker created the Scarlet Witch, but I get to decide who she is now. The Winter Soldier is part of you, but you're in control now, not HYDRA. If you can't get rid of the Winter Soldier, change who he is. Make him your weapon."

"I feel like a grenade, and I can't remember when I pulled the pin."

"Then make sure you throw it at the right person," Wanda said. She stood to leave, squeezing Bucky's shoulder as she walked by.

* * *

"Bucky?" Steve's voice filtered through the haze of sleep. "Wake up, pal."

Bucky crinkled his face and slowly opened his eyes. Steve was standing out of range of Bucky's fist, probably remembering the first time he had woken him up.

"Did I fall asleep?" 

"You never came up last night," Steve told him.

Bucky rubbed his face to get the blood flowing. "I made it up from the basement at least."

Steve sat down on the other couch. Bucky noticed the bags under his eyes. He had gone to bed, but he hadn't slept much. "I don't know what to do Buck," he said quietly.

"There's nothing you can do, Steve," Bucky told him. "There's no magic pill to fix this."

Steve rested his chin on his hand. The pain on his face turned Bucky's stomach. Even losing his mother hadn't affected him this strongly. He remembered what Wanda had said. Steve needed to work through this as much as he did. Even if there was nothing to do, Steve needed to do something.

"But I've been thinking," Bucky said.

Steve looked up, a faint glint of hope and desperation in his eyes.

"I don't know if I can ever get rid of the Winter Soldier, I think he's part of me now, but HYDRA isn't in control anymore, I am. Sitting around here is driving me crazy, I need to do something."

Steve inhaled sharply. He knew what Bucky was about to ask, but he waited for Bucky to finish. Bucky fought down a wave of guilt. He felt like he was taking advantage of Steve's desperation, but he needed to do this.

"I want to join the team."

* * *

Bucky and Wanda sat at the kitchen table. The rest of the team was unusually slow in coming down that morning. Wanda had made coffee, but so far they were the only ones up. After the incident a few days ago, he felt like the others were avoiding him, afraid that some off hand comment might trigger him. Only Wanda seemed undeterred.

"Whose morning is it for breakfast?" Wanda asked.

"Lang," Bucky groaned.

Wanda wrinkled her nose. "Do we have any Raisin Bran left?"

Bucky finished his coffee and got up to check. "Rice Krispies, Cocoa Puffs, and All Bran," he told her.

"All-bran," she said. Bucky poured two bowls of cereal and another cup of coffee for himself as Steve came into the kitchen.

"You're dressed," Bucky noticed. "Something up?"

"Nat, Sam, and I have to go out for a while," he said.

Bucky eyed him curiously. "And it can't wait until after breakfast?"

"We're going out for breakfast," Steve said.

"Is this about the other day?" Bucky asked quietly. Steve had been reluctant to discuss it beyond a vague promise that he would consider it.

"Yeah." Steve answered. "We thought it would be best not to discuss it here."

Bucky took a deep breath. He was nervous. "What if they don't agree?"

"I don't know," Steve said. "It's a lot to ask Buck and I need to do what's in everyone's best interest. I can't make this decision for them."

Bucky nodded. "Thanks for trying."

"Steve, we need to go," Natasha called from the hall.

"Coming!" he called back. "We'll be back, don't set the house on fire."

"That happened one time," Lang yawned, shuffling into the kitchen as Steve hurried out.

* * *

Clint was already sitting at the table when Steve, Natasha, and Sam arrived.

"I can pretty much guess what this is going to be about, but Laura was on me to clean out the shed, so I'm still happy to be here."

"Oh you love doing that," Nat teased.

"Where's everyone else?" Clint asked.

"They don't know we're here," Steve said.

"You do remember how keeping secrets from your friends ended last time," Natasha said.

"It isn't like that," Steve said. "We'll ask them before we finalize anything, but I don't think that Wanda can be objective and Scott doesn't have the experience to make this call."

"Can you be objective?" Sam asked.

"No, which is why I'm leaving it up to you three."

"What about Sharon?" Nat asked.

"She said she was just our Den Mother and she wanted to remain neutral."

"Alright, lay it out for us," Clint said.

"Can we wait two minutes until I can get a cup of coffee?" Sam asked.

"I ordered coffee for everyone before you got here," Clint said, "Start talking."

"Bucky wants to join the team," Steve told them. The conversation paused as the waitress brought the coffee and took food orders.

"No," Sam said firmly when they were alone again. "He wants to say with us, fine, but taking him out in the field is stupid. What if he loses it?"

"I sympathize with the mind control, but how over it is he?" Clint asked. "All Natasha had to do was whack me in the head and I was good to go. It's not that simple with him."

"No, it's not, but sitting around thinking about it isn't helping him," Steve said. "He needs something to do besides help renovate the neighbor's house. It was the same thing after I came out of the ice. I needed something to focus on."

"Slightly different situation," Clint said.

"From a manpower standpoint, it makes sense," Natasha said. "Being a man down every mission is a bit of a strain.

"So leave him home alone," Sam suggested.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I think we still need to keep an eye on him," Natasha said. "But he could be useful. He handled the situation at the mall just fine."

"That's different. You were in a 90 second fight against two amateurs," Sam pointed out. "When I was watching the guy, he tried to run away from home. And you heard what Sharon said about the HYDRA agents next door. If he loses control like that in the field, everyone's in danger."

"It's not like we've never worked with someone unstable before," Natasha said. "We just wind him up and point him in the right direction."

"Bucky isn't the Hulk," Steve reminded her.

"No, the Hulk was a lot more dangerous," Clint said. "Barnes has more self control."

"Barnes, yes," Sam agreed. "I would love to have Bucky Barnes with us, but the Winter Soldier is going to kill someone."

"As long as he's killing the bad guys," Natasha said. "You and I aren't shooting blanks out there either."

Sam scowled at everyone. "Somehow I always end up looking like the bad guy in these conversations, but really think about what you're doing here. I feel for the guy, but I do not trust him. And I'm sorry if that's harsh, but if he comes with us we need to be able to count on him."

"We just have to make sure he's in the right place," Natasha said. "He was a sniper during the war. If we keep him removed from the action, he's less likely to get overwhelmed."

"Great," Sam muttered, "stash him in the bell tower, so he can go all Charles Whitman on us."

"We could at least give him a chance," Clint said. "We won't know until we put him out there. If you guys really think he needs to be supervised, someone can team up with him."

Natasha frowned, giving Clint a sideways look. "Wait, you mean me?"

"You're probably the most compatible," Steve agreed.

"You or Steve," Clint said. "And I don't think we want him front and center. Not on the first go."

Natasha looked at them. Steve had seen that look in her eyes before. She was backed into a corner and looking for a way out. Despite her words, she wasn't completely certain about taking Bucky in the field either.

"And here comes the about face," Sam said with a smirk.

Natasha's eyes darted from Clint, to Sam, to Steve.

"Alright," she agreed, looking pointedly at Sam. "I've worked with worse."

Sam held up his hands in surrender. "I would like to officially state for the record that this is a terrible idea."

"Noted," Steve said. "But we're going to give him a chance."

The waitress came back to bring their food as Natasha's phone beeped. "Steve, is that effective immediately, because we have a situation."

"Can I at least eat my omelette?" Sam asked.

* * *

When they arrived home, Steve found everyone in the living room watching CNN.

"How was your meeting?" Sharon asked.

"It was good," Steve said kissing her hello. He looked at the others. "Gear up we have a mission."

Wanda and Scott looked at Bucky. Bucky had probably told them what was going on. Steve only hoped they understood.

"All hands on deck for this one," he said. "Everyone out the door in 15 minutes."

"Everyone?" Bucky asked.

"He means you, Robo cop!" Sam called from the kitchen. "And if you shoot me, I'm going to drop you off the Sears tower!"

"Everyone," Steve confirmed. "I had hoped to have more time to discuss this before we deployed, but Bucky will be joining the team," he told Wanda and Scott.  
"Unless either of you has an objection."

"Nope," Scott said.

Wanda shrugged, "Fine with me."

"Alright, gear up."

_**-End-** _


	9. Rusted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky joins the team for a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: Most chapters have had a week or two time jump between them, the elapsed time here is about half an hour from the last chapter. Steve's costume is based very loosely off his 1970's comic persona, Nomad.

Bucky fastened himself into the seat, trying to keep his breathing steady. He hadn't been this nervous since his first battle back in the war, and this time there was more on the line than just his life. He needed to prove to himself that he controlled the Winter Soldier, not the other way around. He had begged Steve for this chance but he knew he was on probation. One slip up, and this chance was gone. He had fought with them in Leipzig, but there had been no choice then. He needed to show them he was reliable if he wanted to earn his place on the team.

He looked around at the jet as the team finished settling in. It was big, big enough for 10 people to live in for a few days. The seats pulled out from the wall to give them a place to sleep on extended missions. In the back was a toilet and a kitchenette. There were lockers above each seat for the team to store their things during a mission. To help keep a low profile, they never left the house in uniform and changed en route to their destination

Bucky's equipment had been damaged in Siberia or abandon in Wakanda. Sharon had promised to get him some new gear when they had time, but for now he was borrowing a pair of Wilson's cargo pants and an old leather jacket that had belonged to Peggy's husband. He wore his own boots, though Sharon had suggested replacing those as well. His knife was the only weapon he still had from HYDRA, and Sharon had issued him two Beretta M9 pistols. HYDRA had constantly updated his arsenal, so he was used to adapting to new equipment, but he wondered if he could get Sharon to let him try out some other options. He had never been able to choose his weapons and he wanted to see if there was something he might like better.

Steve's equipment had also been abandoned after Siberia and this was the first time Bucky had seen the new costume. The structure was similar to his old one, but he had changed the pattern and coloring. It was mostly blue, with a dark yellow panel in the middle of the top. His gloves, boots, and belt were dark yellow leather. The sleeves and legs had a thick yellow stripe running down them and there were a few other accent details in the same color. He had adopted the code name Nomad, though no one really seemed to use it. Whether or not Steve carried the shield, he would always be Captain America to the world.

As everyone settled in, a screen dropped down from the ceiling. Steve stood in front of it and tapped a control pad.

"We have a situation outside Chicago. An hour ago, a group of armed hostiles hijacked a passenger train heading for Union Station. We don't know what their intentions are, but we need to go in, disable them and get the passengers off safely. There are about 50 passengers on the train, not full, but we still need to be careful. We're going to zip line to the roof and go in from there. Scott, you go in first, try to take out as many of them as you can before they notice. Clint, back him up. Wanda, you and I are going in through the front to take the engine room. Nat and Bucky, go in through the back. Sam, air support and recon. Bucky, stick with Nat. We're dealing with at least 10 armed hostiles so stealth and speed are key. Sharon, after we board, disengage and follow at high altitude. Everyone clear?"

The team nodded.

"Alright, ETA 20 minutes." Steve pressed the button to fold the screen back into the ceiling and turned to Bucky.

"Buck, are you sure you can handle this?" he asked quietly.

"I can do it Steve," Bucky said. "Not looking forward to zip lining to the top of a train, but I'll be fine."

"This isn't like last time." Steve assured him, though Bucky caught a slight edge in his voice. "Just stay with Nat."

Bucky nodded as Steve headed to the copilot seat in the front. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. He had fought beside this team before. He knew them. He could trust them. He needed to show that he could be trusted too. It was a simple mission. Everything would be fine if he kept calm and followed Steve's orders.

A pocket of turbulence rocked the jet and jolted Bucky out of his meditation. He gripped the armrest tightly, his heart racing. Barton leaned over to whisper to him.

"You ok?"

Bucky nodded. "I'm fine."

Barton didn't seem convinced. "Back when the Avengers first formed, before New York, Thor's brother, Loki broke into a SHIELD base and stole this thing called the tesseract. He had this staff he could use to control people. I was there, and I had a bit of a run in with the thing. Only lasted a few days, but I did a lot of damage before Nat knocked some sense into me."

"I've personally toppled at least 3 governments," Bucky said. "And I supposedly shot JFK. I can't remember."

"And the world keeps on spinning," Barton replied. "You're still here and HYDRA's mostly gone. You're one of us now, and we need you out there. Just focus on the mission and you'll be ok."

Bucky nodded. "Who's Loki? How did he manage to get control of your mind?"

Barton gave him a strange look for a minute. "Oh wait," he laughed. "You were still on ice for that, weren't you?"

"Was that right after they thawed Steve out?" Bucky asked. Barton nodded. "I don't think they used me that year. Probably afraid I'd hear about it. They were unusually careful about keeping me away from TVs or newspapers after that too, now that I think about it."

"So you have no idea what happened?"

"Aliens invaded New York, you guys stopped it." Bucky said. He knew the basics, but he had been preoccupied with the past and only had a general idea of current events.

"Aliens working with Thor's brother Loki," Barton elaborated. "He was using the tesseract to open a portal for them."

"That's the thing HYDRA used to power their weapons during the war," Steve called from the copilot's seat.

"He also had a staff with some magic gem," Barton went on. "It's in Vision's head now, but it could control minds. Zapped me with it and turned me into his flying monkey."

Bucky gave Barton a skeptical look. "So a couple of delusional lunatics who thought they were Norse Gods, teamed up with a bunch of aliens, and destroyed New York fighting over a magic cube?"

"Almost," Natasha said. "They actually are Norse gods."

Bucky gaped. He looked at Steve. "You mean the guy in the weird costume is the actual Thor, the Norse god of thunder? You're friends with a myth?"

Steve laughed. "Pretty much."

"Hey pal, I never believed you were real either," Barton said. "Even after Odessa, Natasha swore up and down that she'd been shot by the Winter Soldier. I said, 'No couldn't be, he's a ghost story.' After DC she wore a tube top for a week to rub my nose in it."

Bucky winced slightly, but he couldn't help laughing at the thought of Natasha parading her wounded shoulder around.

Natasha smirked. "Serves you right for doubting me."

Bucky laughed, feeling calmer. This was familiar. It reminded him of the way the Howling Commandos used to hide behind old stories and bad jokes to keep the strain and anxiety from getting to them. At least that part hadn't changed.

"Coming up on the target," Sharon said. The team made their final preparations and prepared to disembark.

"Alright," Steve called. "Board the train. Take out the targets. This thing enters Chicago in 20 minutes, so we need to get control in 10. Clint, we need a line down to the train. You all have your assignments."

Sharon brought the jet over the train and matched the speed. "We have a straight track for one mile, here's your window."

She opened the ramp and Barton fired the line down. Sharon pulled away to stretch it out. Bucky looked out and felt his stomach turn. Images of an icy mountain in the Alps ran through his head.

Steve put a hand on his shoulder. "No worse than Coney Island."

"I'm not sure you remember Coney Island very well," Bucky joked forcing a smile.

"Man, I saw you jump out of a high rise building taller than this," Sam taunted. "Don't tell me you're scared of a little zip lining!"

Bucky set his jaw and took the handle. "Just wondering if I could attach you to the end and fly you like a kite."

Lang zipped out first, shrinking when he had picked up enough speed to punch through the roof of the middle car. Natasha was next. Bucky followed as Sam jumped out and spread his wings. Steve, Wanda, and Clint followed behind.

Clint took position on the roof while Steve and Wanda headed forward. Bucky followed Natasha back to the end. "Can you open a door for us?"

Bucky gave the thumbs up. Natasha secured a couple of grappling hooks to the roof. Bucky took hold of one and leaned over to pry the door open. Natasha took hold of the other and leaned in to look. She leaned back out. "Empty!"

They swung inside, staying low. Natasha covered forward while Bucky swept the rear. "Clear," he said.

"The next car looks empty too, they must have moved everyone to the middle. We'll move up car by car, and send the passengers back," Natasha said.

Bucky nodded and followed her. In the third car up, they encountered two hostiles. Bucky could see passengers huddled in the seats.

"Cover me," Natasha said. "I'll take them out."

Bucky nodded and drew his pistol. "On three," he said, taking hold of the door handle. "One, two, three!"

He pulled the door open as quickly as he could and Natasha ran in. She subdued the closest hostile, but the second managed to bring his gun up into firing position. Bucky fired and hit him dead center between the eyes. The passengers screamed as he fell to the floor.

"Someone would have heard that," Natasha said. She ran to the other end of the car. Bucky followed close behind. "Everyone stay down," she called to the passengers.

Bucky opened the next door without waiting for a signal. The hostiles were ready this time. Bucky took point, shielding them with his metal arm. Behind him, Natasha fired, taking down the targets. They ran to the front of the car, again shouting at the passengers to stay down. Bucky prepared to open the next door, but a body slammed into it from the other side. Bucky peaked inside.

"There's no one in there."

"I think we caught up to Ant-Man," Natasha said.

Lang appeared suddenly and opened the door. "Hey guys!"

"The back of the train is secure," Natasha told him. "Four hostiles down. We're going to move all the passengers to the back two cars."

"I cleared out the next two cars and Barton is moving up to clear out the rest." Lang reported. "We did find one little problem though."

* * *

Steve punched through the window on the engine and slipped in, kicking the man out of the drivers seat. He looked around. The engineer was dead on the floor, shot in the head. Steve took a moment to offer a silent prayer for the man before he leaned back out the window to help Wanda inside. She recoiled at the sight of the body, but collected herself quickly. They had a job to do.

"See if you can get that door open," Steve said. "I'll stop the train."

Wanda nodded. Steve tried to decrease the speed of the train but the controls were unresponsive.

"No good. They fried the system."

The door swung open. Wanda threw up a protective barrier, but they were greeted by Clint.

"All clear on this side," he said.

"Well that's something at least." Steve said. "I don't think we can stop the train the normal way. Wanda?"

She shook her head. "If I try to slow it down, I might derail it."

"Well we'll call that plan Z." Steve said. There were 50 passengers aboard, but if the train crashed into Union Station, those 50 plus hundreds more were at risk. It was starting to feel like Sokovia again.

"How long do you think it would take us to evacuate the passengers?" Clint asked.

"Longer than we have," Wanda said.

"Without slowing down the train, the only way off is for Sam to take them one or two at a time," Steve said. "We have to stop the train."

"Steve we have a bomb," Natasha said over the com. "They were planning to blow up something."

Steve cursed silently. This was going from bad to disastrous. "Probably Union Station. Can you disarm it?"

"Maybe," Nat said. "But if the train crashes, the payload could still go off. We need to stop the train."

Steve sighed. They kept coming back to that. "I'm not sure we can," he told her. "They fried the controls. Anyway to disconnect the back cars? Wanda can derail it, but I'd rather not do that with 50 people on board."

"Steve we have incoming!" Sam interrupted. "Iron Man, War Machine and Vision. ETA 2 minutes."

"Shit," Steve muttered. "Sharon, you need to get clear, we'll rendezvous later but we can't let them get the jet. Nat, you and Bucky get out of here. I don't know what Tony might do, but I'd rather not find out right now. Scott, get up here and see if you can do anything with this console in the next minute."

"Are we aborting?" Nat asked.

"More like tagging out," Clint said. "They called in the Avengers I say we let them take it from here."

"Iron man 90 seconds!" Sam called.

Steve took a deep breath. He hoped he wasn't making a mistake, but they were out of time and out of options.

"Everyone evacuate," he ordered. "Sam get clear before they get a lead on you. I'm going to stay and brief Tony."

* * *

"All those people," Bucky said, glancing back at the huddled passengers. He didn't want his first mission to end in a mass tragedy.

"Tony won't let 50 innocent people die," Natasha assured him, then added. "On purpose. He's one of the good guys. Ok? We've done our part, they'll take it from here."

She started to pry the door open. Bucky pushed it open effortlessly with his right hand. Natasha looked at him, amazed.

"Super Soldier, remember?"

He looked out of the door as the ground sped by and froze. They had to jump. "Damn it, Steve," he whispered.

Natasha stepped in and took his head in her hands, her green eyes piercing into his.

"I need you to trust me. Put your arms around me and hold on."

Bucky wrapped his arms around her, wondering what she could be planning. Holding his head to her shoulder with her hands behind to protect it, Natasha threw them out of the car. They hit the ground, skidding along the asphalt and finally rolling to a stop. Coughing, Natasha jumped to her feet and helped him up. Bucky's left arm had taken the brunt of the impact, but it had still knocked the wind out of them. Bucky staggered a bit, trying to catch his breath.

"Come on, we need to hide," Natasha said.

He nodded and jogged a few steps along side her before he noticed something was wrong. He stopped, staring at his left arm in amazement. "My arm is broken."

Natasha gaped, clearly as surprised as he was. "We'll deal with it later. We need to get somewhere safe."

* * *

Steve waited in the baggage car for Tony to land.

"Scott?" he called down the hall.

"No good! It's completely dead. Maybe if I can get inside."

"No time," Steve called. "Stow away and get ready to bail out."

Scott came running down the hall and dove in the air. He shrank down mid-leap and landed on Steve's belt, climbing into one of the pouches on the side. Steve pulled open the door as Tony approached and stepped back to the other side, ready to make a quick exit. Tony landed and aimed a repulsor at him.

"You're under arrest, Rogers."

"Good to see you too, Tony."

This was the first time they had come face to face since Siberia, and it seemed Tony's opinion of him had not improved. He pushed that thought aside and focused on the mission.

"There's a bomb on the train. We moved all the passengers to the back two cars as far away from it as we could, but it's headed for Union Station. If that bomb goes, a lot of people are going to die. You can arrest me or save these people, but you can't do both."

For a moment, Tony didn't move, keeping his repulsor aimed at Steve. Finally he lowered his arm.

"Avengers, there's a bomb on the train. Vision, slice off the last three cars and then remove the rest from the engine and evacuate the passengers. Spider-man, I'll try to stop the engine, but you be ready to catch it if I can't. Rhodey and Wasp, get the bomb." He turned back to Steve, his blinding white eyes glaring with animosity. "You got lucky this time Rogers."

Steve wrenched open the door and jumped, rolling as he hit the ground. He got to his feet and ran as the train sped away.

"Scott?"

"I'm good," Scott slurred. "A bit dizzy and I might have thrown up in the helmet, but I'm good."

"Hang on tight, I'll try to make it a smooth ride," Steve replied. "Is everyone away?"

"Wanda and I are safe, just looking for a place to hide," Clint said.

"I'm on the ground, but I don't think they saw me." Sam told him.

"Bucky and I found a place to lay low," Natasha reported. "Sending the coordinates. We're a little banged up and Bucky broke his arm, but we're alive."

"Sharon, we're going dark, land somewhere safe and wait for us. We'll contact you when it's clear."

Steve fought to quell the uneasy feeling in his gut. He had been nervous enough about taking Bucky on this mission. Now his friend had been injured falling out of a train again. In the year they had been on the run, none of the team had needed serious medical attention and their only real plan was to rely on Sam's background as a medic. None of them could go to a hospital, least of all Bucky. He ran on, hoping Natasha was mistaken and that it was simply a sprain or maybe a torn muscle. He tried not to dwell on it, but he couldn't get the image of Bucky falling into the ravine out of his mind.

* * *

Hope Van Dyne flitted in between the wires of the bomb. She wished Scott were there. Electrical engineering was his area of expertise.

"Any ideas?" Rhodey asked.

"Throw it up in the air and blast it?" she suggested. She could shrink it to be easier to carry and Rhodey's computer systems could easily target it regardless of the size.

"Let's do it."

Hope dropped a shrinking disk on the bomb and lifted it into the air over the train. "Rhodey, do you have the target?"

"Whenever you're ready."

"Dropping it now." She released the bomb and flew away as quickly as she could. Rhodey fired a repulsor blast and the bomb detonated in the air. She could still feel the shock wave from where she was, but they had safely disposed of the bomb with no casualties.

Stark's voice crackled over the com. "Rhodey, Tinkerbell, status report."

"Bomb is neutralized, Mr. Stark," Hope reported, ignoring the Tinkerbell remark.

"Would it kill you to call me Tony?" he asked in that irritating tone that he had been led to believe was charming.

"It might," she said flatly.

"How are things on your end, Tony?" Rhodey asked.

"Not great," Stark replied. "Spider-man, how's plan B coming?'

"Almost ready," the young man reported.

"Vision? Are the passengers off?"

"Yes, local law enforcement has arrived to assist with the evacuation."

"Ok, everyone not trying to dismantle a train, start looking for Rogers," Stark ordered.

"They split into three groups," Rhodey said. "Hope, you follow Hawkeye and the Scarlet Witch, Vision you go after Rogers. I'll take Romanoff and whoever she was with."

* * *

Bucky examined his arm while he and Natasha sat in the abandoned garage waiting for the others. The jacket sleeve was shredded but the Vibranium was pristine. He took off the jacket and ripped off the torn sleeve. It was starting to bear a frightening resemblance to his old uniform, but the tattered leather would only get in the way.

"It's nothing like last time, Buck. No worse than Coney Island. Just stay with Nat," he muttered, mockingly repeating Steve's earlier words. "I probably should have asked what the mission was before I agreed to come."

Natasha leaned her head back against the cool concrete wall, looking at the ceiling. "Sorry I pushed you out of a moving train."

"It's ok," he told her. "I kind of froze up there for a second."

"That has to be your number one fear."

"Not even close," Bucky said evasively, remembering their conversation in the cafe. He had come to realize that she wasn't necessarily trying to pry or interrogate him, it was just what she did when she was bored. Still, he wasn't going to give up his secrets that easily. If she wanted to play her game, he would play too.

"Top ten at least," she guessed.

"Nope."

"Top twenty?"

Bucky scoffed. "Just barely."

"How did falling out of a moving train only make the top twenty?" Natasha asked. He couldn't tell if the astonishment in her voice was sincere or not.

"You've read the files. You really can't think of anything that might scare me more than that?" he teased, hoping she would take the bait. She was only after one item, but he had hinted at a treasure trove of memories for her to wheedle out of him.

"I can think of a hundred things in those files that would give me nightmares, but there's always that one that comes out on top."

Bucky smiled. He should have known she would stay focused on the mission. "If I said bunny rabbits, would you believe me?" he said in one last ditch effort to throw her off the scent.

She smiled, shaking her head. "Not for a second."

Bucky leaned his head back against the concrete wall. "The chair," he said finally.

She frowned. "What chair?"

"It's how they stole my memory," he explained. "It would turn my head into a bunch of static and then they could make me think whatever they wanted. Took them a while to develop it. My first mission wasn't until 1956. They started out using drugs, torture, and mental conditioning, which I'm sure you're familiar with."

Natasha's shoulders stiffened just slightly. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable, but if she was going to pry into his head, he wanted her to remember that he knew where she came from.

"Whatever Zola developed, it made the subject suggestible but there was still too much of me left to be reliable in the field for an extended mission," Bucky continued. "It just made me violent and unstable, so they put me back on ice for a while. Then they started experimenting with electroshock therapy. It would disrupt my memory, and without any recovery time between treatments, it was as good as gone. That's why they had to keep me in stasis. Too long between treatments and things would start to come back. Before each mission, they would zap my mind to confuse me, then implant the instructions. I was like a radio and they would just tuned me to whatever channel they wanted."

"1956," Natasha said, trying to place the date. "Hungarian Uprising?

Bucky nodded. "They sent me to escalate the situation. I shot a few protesters."

"Well that certainly did it." Natasha patted his knee.

"Your hand," he said. The back of it was a bloody mess. The skin had been torn up by the asphalt when they hit the ground. She held up both of them to look. The other was no better.

"I guess it's a good thing I was holding your head. That could have been your face," she said, pressing her hands to Bucky's cheeks to see what it would look like. He laughed, pushing them away.

"I doubt there's anything here to use as a bandage."

"It's really not as bad as it looks," she said. "So, _are_ you afraid of bunny rabbits."

"Now, why would you think that?" Bucky asked cryptically.

* * *

Peter worked furiously as the train sped towards his position. He could derail it easily, but this close to the city it was likely to hit something. The police had cleared the area, but he wanted to stop it without doing too much damage. He had made a net across the tracks about 100 yards from where he had set the debris to derail it. According to his calculations, the webbing would have enough strength to stop the train. All the same, he was glad to have the civilians out of the way.

He put the final touches on the net and jumped clear as the train approached. As he had planned, the train hit the barrier and went off the rails. Then things began to go wrong. Instead of going forward, it leapt to the side. Carried by it's momentum, it skidded across an empty parking lot and plowed into the side of the White Sox baseball stadium.

Peter could only watch as a section of the stadium crumbled into rubble.

"Mr. Stark is going to kill me," he moaned.

* * *

The team was assembled when Steve arrived. Sam was bandaging Natasha's hands while Clint and Wanda had taken up lookout positions. Steve let Scott out of his belt pouch and ran over to check on Bucky.

"How's the arm?" Steve asked, bracing himself for the answer.

Bucky lifted the metal arm up with his right hand and let it flop back down. "No good, I think I damaged something."

"Thank God!" Steve said, feeling the knot in his chest loosen. "I thought you meant the other one!"

"I thought that thing was Vibranium," Sam said.

"Vibranium isn't indestructible," Scott told him. "And that's a complex machine."

"Oh, well if you're such an expert, get in there and fix it," Sam challenged him.

"Let me take a look." Scott shrank to ant size.

"What the hell are you doing?" Bucky yelled, scrambling back from where he had last seen Scott.

"I have a masters in electrical engineering," Scott said over the com. "I might be able to fix it if it's not too badly damaged."

"Might?" Bucky said.

"Well I can definitely fix it at home," Scott told them. "But I'll see what I can do without my tools."

"And you have to be tiny?" Bucky asked.

"Unless you want me to dismantle your arm," Scott said. Bucky looked at Steve for help. He and Scott had not gotten to know each other well, and Bucky was still wary of his abilities

"Buck, Scott knows what he's doing," Steve assured him. They needed everyone in the best possible condition. If there was a chance Scott could fix the arm, they needed to try.

Bucky still hesitated.

"That's an order Sergeant," Steve said gently but firmly.

"Yes sir, Captain." Bucky replied reluctantly.

* * *

"This is weird." Bucky said.

Lang had been inside his arm for half an hour with no results. Bucky couldn't decide if it would be more or less unsettling if he could actually feel what Lang was doing.

"No arguments here," Lang agreed. "But then again, we have a chick who can move things with her mind, and the other team has whatever the hell that red guy is, actually no, this is not that weird."

"There's a person inside my arm," Bucky repeated. "That's weird."

"Think of me as a sentient nano bot," Lang chirped excitedly.

Bucky looked at Steve for an explanation. He never understood half of what Lang said.

Steve just shook his head, hiding a smile. "Don't look at me, pal. You were the science nut."

"I think that's got it," Lang said. With a whir and a series of clanking sounds, Bucky's arm came back to life. "Is it working?"

"Affirmative," Steve said. "Good job. Go ahead and get out of there,"

"Can I look around a bit?" Lang asked excitedly. "This is really cool!"

"Get out of my arm," Bucky said firmly.

"Wanda, can you pry the casing apart near the shoulder just a bit and hold it," Lang asked.

Wanda looked at Bucky for permission. He nodded. The sooner Lang was out, the better. She carefully waved her hands just enough to create a small gap in the plates. A moment later, Lang appeared.

"That was amazing! I'm kind of sorry I never got to examine the old one. I would have loved to analyze the differences in the design."

Bucky flexed the arm. "What was wrong?"

"The main relay got disconnected at the shoulder," Lang explained. "I need to take a better look at it when we get back, but this should do for now."

"Thanks," Bucky said. Despite his discomfort with Lang's method, it was a relief to have his arm working.

"Great, now that everyone is back in working order, how do we get out of here?" Natasha asked.

"Well, they didn't see us come in, or they would have come for us already," Wanda said.

"But, they know where we got off and they're probably canvassing the area, so they'll see us if we leave," Steve finished. He thought for a moment. "We'll have to make a run for it and get as far as we can before they see us."

"Hold on," Lang said. "Let me see if I can find a back door."

"Is he talking to bugs again?" Natasha asked.

"Ants," Lang corrected. "And they have something. There's a storm drain that runs along the building and there's an access is just outside the door. I'll get them to move the grate and we can make a run for it."

"Ants can do that?" Steve asked.

"Ants can do a lot of things if you get enough of them," Lang said. "We're in the wrong area of the country, but there's a species that can conduct electricity."

"Quick question," Barton asked. "Where are we running to?"

Steve turned on the long range com. "Sharon, what's your position."

"I'm at an empty lot, three blocks east of your location," Sharon replied. "Sending the coordinates."

"Steve, we have company," Wilson said. "War Machine."

"Scott, how's the grate coming."

"Giving me a little bit of trouble," Lang said.

"Alright, forget it," Steve told him. "We'll have to think of something else.

"You think he sees us?" Lang whispered.

"I can see you!" War Machine called. "I have infrared, remember?"

"Yeah," Wilson said. "I think he can see us."

"What's the plan, Steve," Natasha asked.

"We need to distract him and make a break for it," Steve said. "Volunteers?"

WIlson adjusted the straps on his jet pack. "I got this, just be ready to run."

* * *

Sam stepped out of the garage, holding his hands up. He and Rhodes had not spoken since Leipzig and he didn't want to assume anything.

"Rhodey, what's up man?" he called. Rhodey turned and aimed a repulsor at him. At least he was starting out with the non-lethal weapons. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, it has. You doing alright?" Rhodey asked. He didn't sound angry, but he also didn't sound like he was going to let them go.

"Yeah, I'm good," Sam said. "Look, what happened last time, I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"It was an accident," Rhodey said. "No hard feelings."

Sam nodded. "So we're cool?"

"We're cool. You're still under arrest."

"I figured you'd say that," Sam said. "I'm not going to surrender though."

"I figured you'd say that," Rhodey said, charging up for a low power blast.

A red whirlwind of shrapnel and debris flew at Rhodey. Instinctively he dodged. The team made their move and Sam took to the air. He kicked Rhodey in the chest, knocking him off balance. He could never defeat War Machine in a straight fight, but he didn't need to. He only had to distract him long enough to give the team a head start.

* * *

Steve led the team down the street to the jet. War Machine was close on their heels, but he wasn't going to attack in earnest with civilians in the area. Clint and Wanda turned around every so often to attack and force him to keep his distance while Sam flew around to draw his fire. Steve kept his pace slow but the others were still having trouble keeping up.

"He's going to catch us like this!" Bucky yelled.

"You have a better idea?" Clint asked, firing an explosive charge.

"If Steve, Wilson and I carry everyone else, we can move faster," Bucky pointed out.

Natasha didn't hesitate before climbing up on Bucky's shoulders and Scott shrank down into Steve's belt.

"Sam, can you get Clint?" Steve asked. "We need to pick up the pace."

"On it!"

Sam swooped down to pick up Barton and Steve scooped up Wanda in his arms. They ran through the streets. Wanda twisted around to look over his shoulder, hurling trash cans and other debris at War Machine.

"I see the lot ahead," Steve called.

Vision landed in their path. Steve skidded to a halt, but Bucky cut down an alley. Steve set Wanda down and turned back to face War Machine. He had no chance again Vision, but he could watch her back."

"Captain Rogers, Wanda, you are under arrest." Vision said. War Machine hovered above them.

"Sharon, take off, don't wait for us," Steve said.

"Don't surrender yet," Scott said. "Wanda, can you make the red guy solid and put him on the ground?"

"Yes, what are you planning?"

"Trust me," Scott told them. "And not too solid, bouncy, like a football and let go on my mark."

Wanda focused her powers on Vision. He fell to the ground, struggling to move. "Wanda, we don't want to hurt you," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't want to hurt you either, but I'm not going back to the RAFT."

Scott changed size, growing in an instant until he towered above their head. He grabbed Rhodes and spun around like a discus thrower, flinging him as far as he could. He turned to the Vision. "Now punting for the 49'ers, Scott Lang!"

He stepped forward, swinging his foot towards the Vision. Wanda released her hold a split second before Scott connected. Vision went sailing over the rooftops.

"And the 49'ers win the Superbowl!" Scott cheered.

"Celebrate later!" Steve said, grabbing Wanda and running full speed toward the jet. Scott shrank down and caught a ride on Steve's shoulder.

"Oh man, that always takes it out of me," he panted.

In the distance, Vision and Rhodey had recovered and were closing in, but they were already too late. Steve ran up the ramp and set Wanda down. Natasha was already in the co-pilot's seat running through the lift off sequence with Sharon. Steve took the seat beside Bucky and strapped in.

"Alright, let's get out of here."

As they lifted off, Steve took a minute to look around the jet. More than anything the team looked tired. They had done their part well and Steve was sure the Avengers had handled the rest, but it had still been a long day. Only Bucky looked happy with how things had ended.

"So, first mission." Steve said. "How's it feel?"

"Is it always this chaotic?" Bucky asked, grinning.

Steve laughed. "Well, we accomplished the mission and no one's in jail, I'd call this one a success. Nat? How'd he do?"

"Just fine," she reported. "I had to give him a bit of a nudge when you told us to evacuate the train, but we managed."

"A nudge?" Bucky said. "You threw me out of a moving train!"

"Oh hush," she said. "I've seen you fall off of a moving car."

To Steve's surprise, Bucky laughed. "A little warning next time would be nice."

Nat smiled at him and turned her attention back to the controls.

Steve clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't hold your breath, pal."

* * *

The team lumbered into the house, exhausted and hungry. Bucky collapsed on the couch. His whole body ached, but for the first time in a while, he felt satisfied. It was the sort of fatigue he used to feel after a boxing match, spent, but accomplished. The others joined him.

"I can order pizza from here with my cell phone, but someone has to get up and get the beer," Barton said, pointing out the flaw in their plan. He had said he was too tired to drive home and decided to stay the night.

"Here," Steve said, handing them a six pack. "I'll be upstairs helping Sharon unpack."

Bucky chortled at Steve's attempt to be subtle. "Have fun."

"Yeah, yeah."

Bucky watched him leave. Steve had been quiet during the trip back. He had said he was just tired, but Bucky could tell there was something else bothering him. He pushed it out of his mind and took a beer out of the pack. Steve would talk when he was ready, and tonight Bucky just wanted to enjoy his success. Wilson turned on the TV.

"-in Chicago today ended with the destruction of the White Sox Baseball Stadium. Terrorists hijacked the train early this morning, taking fifty passengers and three crew members hostage. A fourth crew member was killed during the hijacking. The hijackers planted a bomb aboard the train, which they reportedly intended to detonate at Union Station. All hostages were rescued by the Avengers."

"What?" Wilson cried out.

"The Vision separated the cars from the runaway engine and evacuated the hostages. Iron Man tried unsuccessfully to stop the train which derailed and hit the Stadium. Fortunately the stadium was deserted and no injuries were reported. In other news-"

"Nothing," Barton scoffed. "All that work and we don't even get a 'still at large."

"Fine with me," Bucky said. "I don't need the press, good or bad."

"They'll figure it out eventually," Natasha warned him.

Bucky popped the cap on the bottle with this metal thumb. "Well, I'll just have to hope they catch me pulling a puppy out of a storm drain."

Barton clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "This one got a bit dicey, but you did good."

Lang leaned in and held out his beer. "Here's the the newest member of the team."

Everyone leaned in to clink their bottles. Bucky tapped his and took a sip. It felt good to be on the right side again.

* * *

Steve held Sharon close as they lay in bed. She had changed her shampoo to an herbal scent. Breathing it in, he let his thoughts wander to the mission. He and Tony had never seen eye to eye about the Avengers. His first impressions of the man had been proven wrong, but they had never really agreed on anything. Still, Steve knew he could trust Tony when it really mattered. What bothered him was that he hadn't lived up to that. In the end, he had only hurt Tony worse by trying to shield him from the truth.

"You're quiet," Sharon said.

"I was thinking about Tony," Steve confessed.

"Not the whole time I hope," Sharon joked. He couldn't bring himself to laugh.

"It's the first time I've seen him since Siberia," Steve said. "He hasn't called and I was just hoping maybe," he trailed off.

"You miss him," Sharon said, running her fingers through his hair.

Steve sighed. "I miss him." He had been so focused on the team and Bucky that he hadn't realized just how much. "I really screwed up."

"I don't know him, but I can't believe he'll stay mad forever."

"You're right, you don't know Tony," Steve muttered.

She shifted, laying her head on his chest. "He's hurt, but he needs you."

"I just," Steve paused. Tony had needed him, but when it had come down to it, Bucky had needed him more. Despite the outcome, he would make the same choice again. "I just wish things could have been different."

Sharon kissed him. He forced all thoughts of Tony and the Avengers from his mind. There were people here who needed him and needed to focus on them.

* * *

Tony sat alone in the conference room of the Avengers complex, flipping through the channels. The destruction of the baseball stadium was practically a fixed image on the screen, There was no word about Rogers involvement in the incident, which was most likely Ross' doing. Most news coverage of the rogue team had been suppressed. The occasional story leaked out, but Ross wanted to minimize the backlash when they were eventually arrested. Tony could appreciate the practicality of that, but agreeing with Ross left a bad taste in his mouth. The sound on the TV muted.

"I have Secretary Ross and the Mayor of Chicago on the line, Boss," FRIDAY said.

Tony turned off the screen. "Tell the mayor I'll call him back in an hour. You know what to do with Ross."

He reached for his drink, but remembered he'd finished it a minute ago. He had been distracted all night and it was more than the train crash. Something didn't add up.

"FRIDAY, open up the video feed from Chicago.

"Any particular part?"

"Replay any footage with Rogers team in it."

Tony watched carefully as FRIDAY ran through the footage.

"Pause," he said. He pointed to a shot from Rhodey's feed. "How many people are there?"

"There are seven, which is consistent with the information we have."

"Match each figure to a known member of the team." The numbers were right, but something was out of place.

"Sharon Carter is missing," FRIDAY reported. "One unidentified male."

"Scan all footage and isolate him," Tony instructed, pouring another drink.

"Unable to find a clear shot of his face, but the available data is a 94% match for James Buchanan Barnes."

Tony stared at the video as FRIDAY played it on a endless loop, the glint of a metal arm flashing in his eyes. Roger's voice echoed in his head.

_~He's my friend, Tony ~_

"So was I."

**_-End-_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Take a minute to review and let me know what you think.
> 
> If you're curious about how the Wasp joined the Avengers, I wrote a one shot about that titled "Left Behind". You can find it under my stories on my profile.


	10. Witch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Wanda bond on a mission

_Bucky struggled against the restraints. He felt stronger today, but still the straps wouldn't budge. Yesterday they had given him some fluids and let him sleep for the first time in days. He felt better physically, but he was afraid of what that might mean. He had been sick when they brought him in and if they wanted him healthy, then whatever they had in mind wasn't going to be fun._

" _And how are we feeling today, Sergeant Barnes?" the little man with the glasses asked. Zola, Bucky remembered._

" _Barnes, Sergeant, 32557038," Bucky repeated. It was all he had said for the last few days, except for a few breaks to call Zola some names he had picked up in Italy. Those had mostly been laughed at, so he was back to basics._

" _Not in a mood to talk I see. Well, no matter," Zola said smiling. Bucky swore that one day he would tear that smile off the smug bastard's face._

_Zola cleaned a spot on his arm and injected him with a blue chemical. This one was new. He could feel that the second it hit his blood. He felt like he was being ripped apart from the inside, like his bones were trying to dig their way out of his skin._

_"_ _Barnes, Sergeant, 32557038!" he screamed over and over._

" _Bucky?" Suddenly Steve was leaning over him. Was he hallucinating again?_

" _Bu_ cky!"

Bucky grabbed Steve's arm. He was really there and they were alone. "Where's Zola? We have to get out of here! He'll be back."

"Zola?" Steve mumbled sleepily. "Bucky you're in Baltimore."

Bucky looked around. He was no longer strapped to the table. He was lying on the floor in a sleeping bag. "Baltimore?"

"You were having a nightmare," Steve told him. "You were talking in your sleep and you kept repeating your name and service number,"

Bucky sat up, rubbing his eyes as it all came rushing back to him. He was in Baltimore, lying on the floor of Steve's bedroom. He had escaped from that table 70 years ago, for a while at least.

"I was in Austria."

Steve nodded. Bucky's nightmares about Zola had begun during the war. These were old wounds, more of a dull ache compared to his later memories. The fight on the train had stirred them up again, but they were still some of his less troubling dreams.

"I'm ok," Bucky assured Steve. "Go back to sleep."

"You first," Steve challenged.

"I'm gonna get a glass of milk," Bucky said getting to his feet. He took his war journal out of the backpack. "I'm ok, really."

"Ok, good night," Steve said, returning to his bed. "Bucky?"

"Yeah?"

"There's a bag of Chips-ahoy in the cabinet. Please leave the Oreo's alone," Steve pleaded. "I don't want to have that argument in the morning."

Bucky went down to the kitchen and poured a glass of milk, his hand trembling slightly. Dreaming about Zola always put him on edge, but he found a strange comfort in the memories from the war, even Austria. Those memories belonged to Bucky. He opened the journal, checking to see if any of the details in his dream were out of sync with something he had already remembered. It happened. Large parts of his life were little more than a muddled haze. Memories floated in and out, so jumbled and broken, he couldn't make sense of them. Sometimes he would jot down random thoughts, only to realize later that they were related. It was like sorting through the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Memories of the Winter Soldier were often the clearest. During the missions, there had been no distractions, no other thoughts to confuse him. Each shot, each scream, each drop of blood was etched in his mind with sharp precision. His time on ice and the memory wipes between missions kept them from bleeding into each other the way his other memories did. With no connection between them, they would stay hidden until he encountered something to trigger them. When he did remember, figuring out when they happened could take days of research, but the details were always perfect.

This biggest gaps were from his childhood and his life before the war. That journal was largely empty. It contained a few anecdotes about Steve and some basic information that he had found in books or museums, but there were still so many things he was unable to recall about who he had been. The thing that bothered him the most was his family. Aside from a few scant details, they were a mystery. Most of the memories he had of them centered around Steve. He had a few stories about his mother punishing him for something Steve had pulled him into, or his father sending them on a errand. He had a vague sense that he had been a brother, but he could never seem to bring any of it into focus long enough to be sure.

He took a deep breath and went to get the cookies. Trying to solve too many mysteries at once would just leave him more agitated and confused than he already was. It was best to focus on what he knew and let the rest come to him. Like the cats that he and Steve used to chase around the neighborhood, memories preferred to come when they weren't wanted.

* * *

Wanda swirled her hand and lit up the stairs with a soft red glow as she made her way down. She was not surprised to find Bucky in the kitchen. He was leaning on the counter dunking a cookie into a glass of milk. She felt a flash of panic from him as she approached. He dropped the cookie into the glass, splashing milk onto the counter. He held a pen in his hand, ready to defend himself.

He was often startled when she found him awake like this, even though it was becoming an almost nightly occurrence. Wanda reached out to calm his mind, lightly brushing against it just enough to quell his distress. She understood what it meant to him to be in control of his mind, and she didn't like to interfere, but at 2 AM it was easier on both of them if she helped him along. Fewer glasses got broken and there was less spilled milk to cry over.

"You couldn't sleep either?" she asked softly.

Bucky shook his head as he fished the cookie out of the short glass. She didn't need to read his thoughts to know why he was awake. It was always the same thing. She had stopped asking if he wanted to talk about it. He never did, but if she waited long enough he usually would. Sometimes he would be vague and sometimes he would tell her more than she wanted to know, but she was always glad for the distraction from her own nightmares. She opened the fridge and poured a glass of milk. It was a habit she had picked up from him. He hadn't been able to tell her why he did it, but she found it soothing. She leaned against the counter and waited for him to talk.

"It wasn't so bad tonight," he said. "I had a nightmare from during the war. I was in Austria, in the Hydra base with Zola's experiments. They injected me with some blue stuff that hurt like hell." He paused to nibble at a cookie. "When Steve found me, I was just happy to be out of there, it never occurred to me what he was trying to do."

Wanda went to stand beside Bucky and leaned her head on his shoulder. She'd found that it soothed him. More than anything, it let him know that she wasn't afraid.

"I feel like I took him with me. He's still up here," Bucky tapped his head. "And I don't know how to get rid of him."

"Is that what you see in a fight?" Wanda asked.

"Sometimes," he said. "I try not to. It's hard to stay in control when I think about it, and they already stole that from me once."

They stood there in silence for a moment. Bucky put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her close. She felt a chill on her arm and realized she had picked the metal side, but she leaned into the embrace. It was nice to be close to someone again.

"So what about you?" he asked.

"Huh?" Wanda stiffened. He almost never asked her why she was awake. Usually he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts.

"What has you up?" he repeated.

"Natasha's snoring," she lied. Natasha was quiet as a mouse, but if she blamed her insomnia on her roommate, no one questioned it.

Bucky went to refill his glass. "You know, I started having nightmares after Austria. I guess they never really stopped, they just got worse."

Wanda sipped her milk. Something about his tone set her on edge.

"And the year with the Commandos was just a reprieve," he continued. "When Zola got me again, they tried chemicals to control me at first before they discovered electroshock was more effective. It scrambled my mind to the point I didn't know who I was anymore."

"Sounds awful," she said.

"It was. But I think losing someone you love can be just like losing a part of yourself."

Wanda felt her breath catch. He knew. She had told him very little about Pietro, but he knew enough to guess what might haunt her nightmares. Two years later, his absence was still a gaping wound in her heart.

"I'm going back to bed," she said before he could ask her any more questions. She didn't want to relive it again that night. "Sleep well."

"Good night," Bucky called.

Wanda retreated upstairs and slipped quietly back into her bed, careful not to wake Natasha. She lay there, trying to keep her mind clear until she drifted back to sleep.

* * *

The sun was already up the next morning when Bucky came down. He had slept later than usual and it seemed like everyone except Lang had beaten him downstairs. Wilson was out jogging and Steve, Natasha and Sharon were on the patio. Barton was there too, sitting at the table with Wanda.

"Hey Barnes," he said.

"Barton," Bucky greeted him, pouring a cup of coffee. "Do we have a mission?"

"Yeah, I got in early this morning. Steve is going to brief everyone at 9. He didn't want to wake anyone before he had to."

"Any idea what it is?" Bucky asked.

Barton shook his head. "Not really. We're not in a hurry, I know that, but Nat said pack for a few days."

"I'm going to shower while I can," Wanda said. "Who knows if there'll be running water."

She left and Bucky sat down at the table with Barton. Since he didn't live at the house, Bucky didn't know Barton very well, yet in a short time he had come to trust him. There was something about the guy that was easy to like, but he also understood what Bucky had suffered in a way none of the others could.

"Hey, Barton, how well do you know Wanda?"

Barton shrugged. "As well as everyone else. Maybe a little better. She kind of latched onto me after she joined the team. The kids love her. Her brother saved my life against Ultron, but he died doing it. Took a clip of bullets for me."

"She never talks about him," Bucky said. She had mentioned him a few times, but she always changed the subject when he started to probe deeper.

"I think it's still pretty painful for her," Barton said. "They were twins and they were orphaned as kids so they were pretty close. She misses him, but the kid's a survivor." He looked at Bucky. "She could use a friend though. She was pretty tight with Vision until the team split and I think she misses him too."

Before Bucky could respond, the kitchen door opened and Wilson came in, soaked in sweat from his morning run. "Oh look it's Robin Hood."

"How's it hanging Birdman?" Barton said.

"Well I'm assuming my morning plans are shot unless you're here for a team building exercise."

Barton shook his head. "Sorry, briefing at 9."

"I'd better get Tic-Tac up," Wilson said, heading upstairs. "He'll sleep right through that."

Barton turned back to Bucky. "So how are you? We're a few missions in, things still ok?"

Bucky nodded. "Yeah, it's been a bit of an adjustment with all the weird powers but I'm getting the hang of it."

"Nat says you're doing fine," Barton assured him. "And I think she just likes having someone else around who can speak Russian."

"She's a good partner," Bucky said.

Barton smiled. "No arguments here. But she can get a bit reckless, so watch yourself."

"I'm used to that," Bucky said as Steve came in from the patio.

"Everyone up?" he asked.

"Sam's waking up the little guy, and Wanda's in the shower," Barton told him.

"Who's on breakfast?" Steve asked. "We'll want to eat before this one."

Bucky looked at the chart on the fridge. "You."

Steve groaned. "Wanna help me?" he asked hopefully. "You can make anything but coffee?"

"Pancakes," Bucky said. He stood up and went to gather the ingredients.

"Ok, I'll cut up some fruit and make bacon."

"There aren't any trains this time, are there?" Bucky joked, setting the skillet on the stove.

"No," Steve answered quietly.

Bucky sighed. Steve seemed more upset by the train incident than he was. Wilson had reminded him that Steve had his own fears to work through, but where Bucky was determined to laugh it off, Steve seemed to be rethinking the whole arrangement. He had been melancholy and preoccupied lately and Bucky was starting to worry. His health wasn't as fragile as it had been when they were kids, but the stress he was under still couldn't be healthy.

"Be sure to get the bacon crispy this time." Bucky teased, trying again to lighten the mood. "You always under cook it,"

"I do not under cook it!" Steve protested, more energetically this time.

"Yes you do!" Sharon called from the living room.

"Is it too much to ask for you to back me up?" Steve sighed, tossing the package of bacon on the counter.

"It is when you're wrong," Sharon said.

Steve chuckled. "Even if I under cook it, you're still going to eat half the plate," he called back.

Bucky grinned as he whisked the batter, relieved to hear Steve laugh. They both turned their attention back to their cooking, enjoying one of the rare, peaceful moments in life.

* * *

Bucky took the last pancake from the platter as Natasha brought up the display on her tablet.

"This is one we've had our eye on for a while," she said. "Hope everyone likes Thai food."

"Is that the spicy stuff with the peanuts or the chickpeas," Bucky asked.

"Peanuts," Natasha said. She tapped the screen and brought up an image of a ship. "Black market antiques dealers have been using Bangkok as an exit point for Asian antiquities. We have information about a large shipment of Cambodian artifacts coming through the port in two days. The shipment is coming in by truck and we need to keep it from being loaded onto the boat."

"Sounds a little easy," Wilson said cautiously.

"It would be," Sharon said. "Except they have several enhanced thugs on the payroll that local law enforcement can't handle."

"Fun," Barton said, sarcastically. "I always love getting my ass kicked by those."

Sharon reached over and tapped the screen."According to the information SHIELD fed us, we're dealing with a specific type of enhanced called Inhumans. They've been popping up everywhere in the last few years and SHIELD has been tracking them. The good news there is that we have some fairly detailed files and we know exactly what they can do. The bad news is that we don't have a great way to neutralize them. Some of them are slightly resistant to traditional means."

"You mean they're bulletproof?" Steve asked.

"One of them is. He has the ability to manipulate elements in his surroundings and form them into various shapes. He's working with finite resources, so he's limited in what he can do.  Tag team him and force him to stretch himself thin," Natasha suggested.

"Another is slippery," Sharon continued. "She can basically turn her entire body into slime. That one might be a little more challenging. The last one can control air currents, so that's one we want to keep Sam away from."

"We're moving out in an hour," Natasha said. "Could be a few days, so pack a change of socks. We'll come up with a game plan for the enhanced, but for the regular thugs, neutralize and disarm. Any questions?"

The team shook their head.

"Alright," Natasha said. "Get packed."

* * *

Two days later, the team waited at the port for the shipment to arrive. Steve scanned the area. It was dark enough to let them slip into the shadows, but that would also make it more difficult to see their targets. It would also prevent him from using his shield. The new design was light based and in low light, the glow would give away his position. He was getting used to it, but he still missed the old one, especially at night.

"Everyone check in," Steve said.

"Hawkeye in position.

"Scarlet Witch in position."

"Ant-Man in position."

"Falcon in position."

"Black Widow in position."

"Winter Soldier in position."

Everyone had been ready for several minutes. All they could do now was wait. "Falcon, let us know when you see that truck."

"I think I have something," Sam said. Steve felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. Waiting was always the worst part. "Yeah that's definitely our truck. It's go time."

"Ok, you know the plan," Steve said. "Wait for my signal."

Down on the docks the truck stopped. The driver got out and was met by several armed men.

"Ok, go," Steve ordered.

The team dispersed, moving in quietly. Scott tossed a disk and the truck disappeared. Wanda reached out and pulled the miniaturized vehicle towards them. She handed it to Scott.

"Go!" She said, throwing up a barrier to cover his escape.

Scott took off, running down the aisle toward the city. As he retreated, the rest of the team sprang into action. Steve ran in first, blocking with his energy shield and knocking out the targets. Clint remained perched on top of a container, sniping targets from a distance. Natasha and Bucky moved in together, alternately providing cover fire and attacking the smugglers. Sam attacked from above, flying around to draw fire from those on the ground. Wanda stayed back, providing cover where she could and keeping the smugglers off balance.

Everything was going well until the Inhumans joined the battle.

* * *

Wanda felt the breeze move her hair, but didn't think anything of it until it started to twirl. Her hair wrapped around her face, clinging tightly to her mouth and nose. She disengaged and ran, clawing it back out of her eyes..

"I found the Inhuman with wind powers," she reported, pulling her hair back into a ponytail.

Above her she saw Sam lift a woman into the air. The woman seemed to dissolve, slipping through his grasp and oozing to the ground. She reformed into her normal shape and ran off into the rows of containers.

"I found Slimer," he said, banking right to stay on her trail.

"Careful," Steve cautioned. "We still have armed hostiles. Don't let them distract you."

"A little late for that!" Bucky called.

Wanda caught sight of him across the dock. He was fighting a man who wore something that looked like armor. Natasha was beside him, her attention still on the gunmen. Wanda ran over, keeping to the perimeter. She grabbed Bucky's opponent and threw him against a container. The casing around his head hit the side with a metallic clang

"Are you alright?" she asked Bucky.

Bucky grabbed Wanda and pushed her behind him as a hail of bullets ricocheted off his arm. "Never better," he said, a hint of a smile on his face.

Wanda took a breath and jumped back into the fray. They were letting this drag on too long. If they didn't neutralize the Inhumans quickly, someone was going to get hurt.

"This is like punching a jello mold!" Clint yelled over the com. On top of the container Wanda saw him fighting the slippery woman. It looked like he was punching bread dough.

"We need to take these guys out," Sam said. "Any ideas?"

"I have one." Wanda said. "You're not going to like it, but I think it will work."

"At this point I'm open to suggestions," Steve said. Across the yard he was fighting the wind wielder and barely standing his ground.

"Remember the fight in the salvage yard?" she asked.

"Not easy to forget," Steve answered.

"What's she talking about?" Sam asked.

"Ultron," Natasha explained. She had guessed the plan. "Steve, I think we need to go for it."

"Yeah, I don't see a lot of options," he agreed. "Tell us what you need."

Wanda looked around to locate the targets. "I need to get close to them. Isolate and distract them. I'll move in on them one at a time."

"You heard her," Steve said.

Wanda slipped through the rows of containers, out of the main battle as the others pressed the attack. She needed to take advantage of the confusion to sneak up on them and use her powers to neutralize them. Quietly, she ran to the container that Clint was on and lifted herself up eye level with the top. Clint was trying to attack, but the slippery woman just stood there, letting him tire himself out. Wanda climbed up and tiptoed in behind the slippery woman, unleashing the darkest corners of the woman's mind. The woman turned solid and looked around, staring fearfully at nothing.

Wanda floated to the ground and ran off to the next target. She found Steve crouched down, using his shield as cover against the gale force assault from his opponent. Windy seemed to be enjoying himself and did not notice Wanda behind him until it was too late. She waved her hands and the wind stopped. The man crawled on the ground, desperately searching for something that wasn't there as she ran off.

With two down, Wanda made her way back over to Bucky and Natasha to finish the job. They had become separated. Natasha was still holding the gunmen at bay while Bucky had driven the plated man back out of the line of fire. The man was fending Bucky off with a large blade he had formed. His arsenal was impressive but Bucky was quicker and his Vibranium arm was superior to any material available. Bucky rushed in and hit the blade in the center with his metal arm, breaking it in half. He kicked the man in the chest, sending him staggering back toward Wanda. She put all of her focus into the attack. The armor crumbled away as the man sank to the ground staring at ghosts.

"I had him," Bucky insisted with a lopsided grin. He was breathing hard, but he had clearly had the upper hand in the fight.

Wanda smirked. "I'm sure you did."

He looked at the man, his grin slipping. "What did you do to him?"

"You probably don't want to know."

Bucky started to say something, but his attention shifted and he ran towards her. "Get down!"

Wanda started to turn, but she was too late. Bucky stepped in front of her and threw up his arm to block the bullet. He fired back, but a shot ripped through his shoulder from behind. Wanda threw up a barrier around them. Bucky sank to a knee, but bit his lip and turned to fire. He missed, but the gunmen stopped their attack and ran for cover.

"Need some back up here," Bucky said, gasping.

"I'm coming!" Natasha called. Behind the container, they saw a black blur and a flash of electricity followed by a thump as a body hit the ground.

"You're hurt!" Wanda said, her eyes darting back and forth, looking for threats. Standing this close, she could feel the pain radiating from him.

"Yep," Bucky said, sucking in air through clenched teeth. He clutched his shoulder, trying to put pressure on the wound. She could see the blood glistening against the black leather.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked, running towards them.

"Gunshot wound. Right shoulder," Bucky groaned. Natasha looked at him, trying to hide a smile. Wanda couldn't say why, but that angered her. Bucky winced. "I know. You don't have to say it."

"Let me look," she said, leading him over to a covered position. Wanda stood guard. There were still men out there.

Natasha unzipped his jacket. The grey tank top he wore underneath was soaked in blood. Natasha ripped it off to use as a compress. She linked her fingers for leverage and clamped her hands down on both sides of the wound. Bucky screamed a string of obscenities in Russian.

"Sam, Bucky's hit," she said. "It doesn't look too bad, but you should come give him a once over when you have a minute."

"What happened?" Steve demanded.

"One of them slipped around and surprised us," Bucky said.

Wanda felt an ache in her chest. This wouldn't have happened if she had not dropped her guard. He had rushed in to protect her from her own carelessness and now he was injured.

"Are all the Inhumans down?" Clint asked.

"Yes, they should be out for a while," Wanda said. At least she had done that right.

"Nat, you look after Bucky, everyone else, let's clean up the rest of these guys and get out of here," Steve ordered.

Wanda looked back to check on Bucky. "Is he ok?"

"He'll be fine," Natasha assured her. "He's way too stubborn to die."

Bucky grinned, even as he winced in pain. "Don't worry about me," he looked at her. "Just get these guys and let's go home."

Wanda nodded. There was time for regret and recrimination later. They had a mission to finish.

* * *

Scott walked into the police station parking lot and set the truck down in an open area. He tossed a disk at the truck to return it to normal. Behind him he heard shouting. He couldn't understand Thai, but that tone meant the same thing all over the world. Slowly, he raised his arms above his head and turned around to find several police officers pointing guns at him.

"Does anyone here speak English?"

A woman shouted at him in Thai, motioning for him to get on the ground.

"Didn't think so," he said, shrinking down as they opened fire. He ran for the exit as the cops looked around in bewilderment.

"Package has been delivered," Scott reported. "I'll see you guys back at the club house."

* * *

Steve braced himself as Wanda threw the smuggler towards him. He let the man hit his shield and fall to the ground, unconscious. Wanda gathered the guns and lifted them up to the top of a nearby the crane.

"That's the last of them," Steve said. He looked around to locate the team. "Nat, how's Bucky."

"Might need to take a few days off, but he'll live," she said. Steve took a deep breath and reminded himself that Bucky was a supersoldier. A gunshot wound might hurt, but he had survived worse. Nat had things under control.

"Scott? Where are you?"

"Heading back to the rendezvous," Scott said.

"Alright. Time for us to get out of-" a familiar roar drew Steve's attention. "You've got to be kidding me," he muttered.

"What is it?" Scott asked.

"Iron Man," Steve said. He had hoped that Thailand would be a little far for Tony to track them. With Bucky injured and Scott out of range, the last thing he wanted to do was fight the Avengers.

"Maybe they're just here to do clean up," Clint said hopefully.

"Not likely," Natasha chimed in. "If I had to guess, I'd say they were waiting for us to finish."

"Bucky, can you walk?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, they didn't shoot me in the legs."

"Everyone scatter, remember the plan," Steve ordered wearily. It was going to be another long mission. "Sharon, I'll contact you when we're clear. Going dark."

* * *

Tony pulled up, trying to track Rogers team as they fanned out from the port. They were heading into a crowded section of town which would make tracking them difficult.

"You know," Parker said. "Chasing down Captain America wasn't really how I wanted to spend my summer vacation." He was closing in on Rogers, but Rogers had chosen a complicated escape route that was slowing down even the agile young Avenger.

"Ok seriously, how old are you?" Rhodey asked, weaving in and out of the buildings as he pursued Wilson.

"Focus guys!" Hope said. "We're going to lose them."

"Please just tell me you at least have a driver's license," Rhodey pleaded.

"I live in Queens!" Parker replied, dodging a road sign Rogers had thrown at him.

"That doesn't answer my question!" Rhodey yelled. He banked right to avoid a building as Wilson cut the power for a sudden dive. Wilson tucked in and crashed through a window. Rhodey circled around, hoping to catch him on the other side.

"Stop worrying about our team and get that one!" Tony ordered. "They planned out an escape route and if we don't cut them off we're going to lose them."

"They planned it to take you and Rhodey out of the fight," Hope said. "They can maneuver better in tight spaces than you can."

"That's why we brought Vision and the insect brigade," Tony reminded her

"I'm actually an arachnid," Parker corrected him.

"No one actually cares," Rhodey snapped, pulling up to try and get a visual on Wilson. He had disappeared into the lower levels of the building.

"Focus," Tony said. Suddenly, Parker was hurled into the sky, gripped by a glowing red light. Tony swerved to the side and caught the kid by the ankle as he came back down.

"I'm ok!" Parker said, although he sounded a bit motion sick. Tony scanned the city.

"I lost them, does anyone have a visual?"

"Negative," Hope reported.

"Sorry," Rhodey said.

"I have lost them as well," Vision said.

"Ok, guys, they slipped the net this time," Tony said. "Pack it up."

"Are we not going to do anything about the three enhanced back at the port?" Hope asked.

"You know how this works," Rhodey reminded her. "Only deploy when ordered."

"But if you want to grab some takeout on the way back to the jet, that would probably be alright," Tony said.

* * *

Scott was already at the abandoned shop when the rest of the team started to slip in. After the last few times, Natasha had decided it would be prudent to have an escape route and rendezvous set up if they needed to evade capture. Steve had not expected to need it, but he was glad he had listened.

"Well, this is better than the RAFT," Scott said cheerfully, kicking a piece of broken wood out of the way.

"It's just for the night," Steve said. "Once we're sure we've lost them, we'll head for the jet." He went over to help Nat settle Bucky in. "How are you Buck?"

"God, I had no idea getting shot hurt this much!" Bucky moaned as Nat peeled the bandage off to look at the wound. The bleeding had stopped but Bucky wouldn't be much use in a fight until it healed. Bucky looked at Nat. "I owe you an apology."

Nat smirked. "We'll call it even.

"Is this really the first time you've been shot?" Sam asked in astonishment, kneeling down to take a look.

"Most of the people I've gone up against didn't shoot back," Bucky grunted as Sam cleaned the wound.

"Ok, everyone get some sleep," Steve said. "Nat and I are going to check out the perimeter."

Natasha followed him down the deserted street to a dark alley at the end of the building. He looked around to be sure that they were alone.

"Still think I'm being overly cautious?" she said.

Steve shook his head. "Not anymore. That's the fourth time they've intercepted us. How do you think they knew we were here?"

"You think we have a leak?" Natasha asked.

"I'm not sure," Steve said. "But they know where we're going to be and they're coming after us. Chicago was a coincidence but four times in a row, they have to be tracking us."

"It's Tony," Natasha shrugged. "If he really wanted to, he could bug the jet and we'd never detect it."

Steve considered that for a moment. "Do you think he knows about Bucky?"

"I think there's a good chance," Natasha admitted.

Steve frowned. "Do you think we need to take him off the team?"

Natasha shook her head. "If Tony already knows he's here, leaving him home isn't going to solve anything."

"It'll keep Bucky out of prison," Steve said. Bucky had been cleared for the UN bombing, but he could still face the death penalty for his actions as the Winter Soldier. At least 19 countries had issued arrest warrants for him and not all of them would be inclined to give him a fair trial.

"I don't think he'd appreciate getting kicked off the team for his own protection," Nat pointed out.

Steve looked up at the sky. He was starting to regret asking them to let Bucky on the team. Bucky was enjoying it, but so far everything that could possibly go wrong had. Of all the times to run into the Avengers, it had happened at the worst possible moment. "It's been a year. Why do you think they're just now coming after us?"

Natasha shrugged. "Maybe the UN realized the SWAT team isn't going to be able to bring us in. Maybe they had no way of knowing where we'd be until now. Either way, we need to be careful and not just because of Bucky. If the Avengers are coming for us, it's going to get messy and you lost the fire power in the divorce."

"Don't remind me," Steve said. He had confidence in his team in most situations, but in a straight fight against the Avengers, Tony's team had the upper hand. Most of Steve's team was well suited to infiltration and close quarter combat but in terms of raw power, they were out matched. In Leipzig, the Avengers had been holding back and still managed to put half the team in the RAFT. If Tony decided to come in guns blazing, Steve wasn't sure they could win.

Natasha looked at him carefully. "Steve, he's fine. These things happen on a mission."

"Four missions and he's been injured twice. I'm just starting to think we made a mistake letting him on the team."

Natasha put a hand on his shoulder. "You're just letting this whole thing with Tony get to you. And to be fair that first one was just faulty wiring."

"I know," Steve said. "I'm being-"

"Neurotic, overprotective, paranoid-"

"Ok, point taken," Steve said sharply.

"If he's on the team, we have to trust him to take care of himself," Natasha said. "And you have to trust me too. You told me to look after him and I will, but unless you want to put him in a box, you can't protect him from everything."

"I do trust you, Nat," Steve sighed, rubbing at the stiff muscles in his neck. "I'm just tired."

Natasha reached up and gently massaged the tense spot in his neck. "Let's get back and get some sleep. We have a long walk tomorrow."

* * *

Tony wrapped noodles around his fork as he listened to Ross drone on. He would need to take another look at FRIDAY's translation software. Either the software had a glitch or the chef had gotten drunk and written a bunch of random syllables on the menu board. It was good, but he liked to know what he was eating.

"Your orders were to capture Rogers and his team, what the hell were you doing all night?" Ross yelled over the call.

"Well we looked for them, but seeing as how there are 6 million people in Bangkok, we had a little trouble finding six of them," Tony said. "So we gave up and got take out."

"You had them and you let them go," Ross accused him.

"They were in the middle of a firefight and since the UN doesn't think we need to help stop antique smugglers, we decided to abide by that decision. Last time we interrupted them we were left holding the bomb."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were stalling on purpose," Ross accused him.

"Well I guess we're lucky you're not that smart," Tony muttered. "We're entering a dead zone, I'm going to lose you."

Tony killed the feed and sat back down in his seat. The team was quiet, exhausted from a long night of following cold trails. Parker had used his webbing to make a hammock in the back and Vision had put himself in charging mode. Rhodey was piloting and Hope was looking out the window.

Tony finished his dinner and brought up the video feed from the mission.

"So were you stalling?" Hope asked.

"I'm insulted you even have to ask," Tony said.

"That wasn't an answer."

Tony paused the image. "FRIDAY run facial recognition on the man to the left."

"Subject identified as James Buchanan Barnes."

Rhodey shot him a brief, worried glance, but kept his attention on the controls. Hope stood and came over to the monitor.

"Is that who I think it is?" Hope asked staring at the screen, her eyes wide in astonishment.

"Depends on who you think it is," Tony said forcing himself to keep a light tone. Hope didn't know what had happened in Siberia, and he didn't want to explain it.

"I think Scott is going to get himself killed trying to rewire the Winter Soldier's arm," she said.

"Well, then the sooner we arrest him the better," Tony replied.

Hope glared at him and went back to her seat. "Not winning that battle tonight," he muttered to himself. He looked at the image frozen on the screen.

"FRIDAY," he said, lowering his voice so that the others wouldn't hear. "Back up all footage containing the Winter Soldier to the private server and then obscure all identifying features displayed in those sections."

"Boss?"

"I'd like to keep Ross and the oversight committee in the dark about this for now, so be a good girl and sweep it under the rug for me."

"Yes Boss."

* * *

Wanda awoke, gasping for breath. She could still feel the hot lead tearing through her back. She had dreamed about Pietro again, but the pain seemed so real this time. Her hand touched something metal and she realized her head was resting on Bucky's chest. It was his pain that she was feeling. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she recalled the events of that day. It had happened so fast. Pressing her ear to Bucky's chest, she listened for his heartbeat to check that he was still alive. She heard the strong steady thump through the leather and reminded herself that he could survive worse. She tried to steady her breathing so as not to wake him, but the tears wouldn't stop.

"You know, I've noticed something being on missions," Bucky muttered. "Natasha doesn't snore."

Wanda tried to dry her eyes, but the tears kept falling. "Did I wake you up?" She asked, hoping he couldn't see her crying in the dark.

"No, the searing pain in my shoulder did that," he groaned, shifting his position on the hard floor.

"I'm sorry," she said. "If I had been paying attention-"

"It's not your fault," he cut her off gently. "You hear me? These things happen."

All she could do was nod, pressing her cheek to Bucky's chest. The vibrations of his voice were soothing.

"You were dreaming about your brother, weren't you?" he asked. Wanda nodded. "How did he die?"

"Fighting Ultron. He was shot, I felt it happen. I felt the bullets tear through him and I felt him die." Wanda broke down into helpless sobs. Her tears fell on his leather jacket, leaving it damp and sticky. Bucky held her as she cried. She leaned in, listening to the rise and fall of his breath until the tears subsided.

"I can't remember my family," he told her. "I know I had one, I remember that, but I can't remember their names or how they looked. I don't remember if I was an only child or if I had any siblings. I don't even remember the sound of my mother's voice."

Wanda wiped her face with the hem of her dress and laid her head on his shoulder where it was dry. "We lost our parents when we were 10. My last memory of them is hearing their screams as the floor fell out from under them when the shell hit our apartment building."

"And Pietro was all you had left," Bucky said.

"And after all we survived, he had to be a hero," Wanda said. "Now I'm alone. Sometimes I feel like part of me died with them, but to not even remember them must be awful."

"I still have Steve," Bucky told her. "He was always like a brother to me, I remember that, but my mom and my dad, I don't know if we got along or if we fought. I have no idea if they missed me when I died."

"They did," Wanda assured him. "I would have." He squeezed her gently with his metal arm. It always surprised her how delicate he could be with it.

"You know, it's funny," he mused. "I can remember Steve's mom's name, but I can't remember mine."

"Winifred," Steve muttered from the corner. "Now get some sleep, we're moving out at dawn."

Wanda resettled against Bucky's left shoulder and closed her eyes. Bucky hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "You're not alone," he whispered.

* * *

It was late the next day when the team arrived home. Even in the jet, it had been a long flight and everyone was exhausted after a sleepless night watching for any signs of pursuit.

"Should we order something for dinner?" Sharon asked, turning on her laptop.

"Anything but Thai food," Lang said.

"I vote pizza," Bucky yawned. He was tired, but he was too hungry to fall asleep right now.

"You're going straight to bed." Steve said firmly. "You need to rest that shoulder.

"You don't have to fuss, I'm feeling a lot better," Bucky insisted. Steve had been hovering over him the whole trip back. He had even carried Bucky's bag in from the car despite the fact that his bionic arm was working perfectly.

"That's an order Sergeant," Steve ordered with a stern look.

"I'm fine," Bucky argued. Part of him was afraid that if he admitted how bad he felt, Steve would use it as an excuse to take him off the team permanently.

"Steve, if the man says he's fine, he's fine," Wilson said. He patted Bucky on the right shoulder, squeezing gently.

"What the fuck, Wilson?" Bucky screamed, hunching over and grabbing his shoulder as pain shot through him.

"Bed rest," Steve said firmly, putting his hand on Bucky's metal shoulder and leading him upstairs. "Two days minimum. And you're taking the bed for a few days."

"Are you just going to sleep on the floor?" Bucky asked, determined to fight to the end. After all the times he had forced Steve to go to bed as a child, he was certain Steve was enjoying this.

""It's only a couple of days," he said. He took several pillows out of the closet and stacked them against the headboard so that Bucky could sit up. He set Bucky's backpack beside the bed so he could reach it easily.

"Fine," Bucky agreed finally, too tired to argue any longer. Whatever Wilson had given him on the jet to help with the pain was making him sleepy. He didn't have the energy to protest as Steve helped him change out of his clothes and into his pajamas.

"Steve?" Bucky said as he settled on the bed.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I shot you.  Mostly because you're my best friend, but also because this really hurts."

Steve smiled. "Don't worry about it. Can I get you something?"

"A sandwich would be good."

"Not sure what we have in the fridge, but I can do peanut butter and jelly."

"Remember we used to eat those for lunch," Bucky yawned.

"Yeah, I'm kind of surprised I wasn't allergic," Steve laughed as he left.

Bucky shifted against the pillows and reached into his backpack. He took out his childhood journal and started leafing through the entries. His talk with Wanda had made him long to remember home. He was glad that she had finally told him about her family but he was also a bit jealous of her memories. They were painful for her, but he knew all too well that the uncertainty was worse. The way Steve talked about his childhood, he was certain that some of it had been good. After all the horrors he had remembered from his Winter Soldier days, he wanted a few pleasant dreams.

"Busy?" Wanda asked from the door. She had a glass of milk and a plate with his sandwich.

Bucky closed up his journal. "Not making any progress."

"Steve asked me to bring this up." She set the food down on the bedside table. "How's your shoulder?"

"Still hurts, but I'll live," he said.

She sat down on the edge of the bed beside him and took out her cellphone. "I just wanted to show you this."

Bucky took the phone from her and looked at the picture. Wanda looked younger and her hair was different. There was a young man beside her.

"This is Pietro?" he asked. She nodded. Bucky grinned, handing the phone back to her. "He looks like a cocky son of a bitch."

"He was," she said, tracing the outline of Pietro's face tenderly. She wiped a tear from her eye. "Have you ever thought about looking up your family? It must be in a book somewhere."

"I've thought about it," he said, glancing at his journal. "But if I read it in a book or get Steve to tell me, I'm afraid I'll just invent some fantasy about them. Good or bad, I want to remember them for real."

"I'm sure they missed you," she said. "I know I would have."

Bucky squeezed her hand tightly. "You're not alone. I don't even think it's possible to be alone in this house. I can't even get a glass of milk at 2 AM without running into someone."

Wanda laughed. It made him happy to see her smile, if only for a moment.

"And if you ever need anyone to give your boyfriend the third degree or something like that, you can always come to me."

Wanda stood up and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Get some rest."

Bucky reached over to pick up his sandwich as she left. He wasn't going to get any rest on an empty stomach.

* * *

" _Ma, you're acting like the army isn't going to feed me," Bucky protested as his mother shoved the rest of the pancakes on his plate._

_His father lowered the paper. "Winifred, don't give him a stomach ache, he's going to be on a ship for the next few weeks._

" _Well can I get you anything? Coffee, milk, would you like a sip of the bottle in the cupboard," she whispered._

_Bucky stood up and wrapped his arms around her. "Ma, stop worrying. I'm gonna be fine. Worry about the others."_

" _Don't ask me not to worry about you, Bucky Barnes," she whispered sharply. "And I'm seeing you off, you can't stop me."_

" _I know, Ma. And take care of Steve for me. That guy is going to get himself in trouble."_

" _We'll have him to dinner every Sunday. Now sit back down and finish your breakfast." She kissed his cheek and went about her work, wiping a tear from her eye._

Bucky opened his eyes. The kiss seemed so real, just as warm and soft as Wanda's kiss earlier.

"Don't cry, Ma," he whispered, touching his fingers to his cheek. A smile crept onto his lips. "I'm fine."

**-End-**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There is very little information about Bucky's family but since both his parents are referenced as being alive during the flashback scene of Steve's mother's funeral, so I decided to leave them that way through his departure.
> 
> Thanks for reading and thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review. Hearing from you keeps me motivated.


	11. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz and Mack visit to help Scott fix Bucky's arm.

It was a quiet morning. The sun streamed in as Steve and Bucky sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper. Sharon was looking through reports on her laptop while Wanda absentmindedly practiced her powers on the fruit bowl. Bucky traded out the sports section for the international section and an article on the side caught his eye.

"Look at this," he said, handing it to Steve.

"Avengers help bust Bangkok smuggling ring," Steve read from the paper. "Well the more attention they get the easier it is for us to stay off the radar.

Sharon leaned over his shoulder to read the article. "Hmm, sounds more like the UN got caught deploying them for no reason and had to cover their asses."

"Maybe next time they'll just send them in and we can take a day off," Wanda said hopefully, cutting an apple in midair.

"Works for me," Bucky said rubbing his wounded shoulder. He went to get another cup of coffee. Natasha was on the floor, digging through the lower cabinets. He leaned over her to refill his mug and stood to the side against the refrigerator. "What are you doing?"

She sat up and closed the cabinet doors. "Looking for the crock pot. Sharon, do you know where it is? Laura gave me a new recipe I want to try for dinner."

"It's in that cabinet above the fridge," Sharon said. Natasha looked up at the cabinet and then at Bucky.

"Should I get it for you?" he asked setting his mug on the counter.

"No, I'm ok." She sprang up, planting her foot on the edge of the counter and vaulting up to kneel on Bucky's metal shoulder. She put her other foot on his right shoulder for stability.

"Hey, gunshot wound," he reminded her, reaching up with his left hand to shift her weight.

"Sorry!" She moved her foot to his head and reached into the cabinet to grab the crock pot. Holding onto his left hand to slow her descent, she jumped to the floor, cradling the crock pot under her arm. "How is it?"

"Well it was alright." He rubbed the injury he had received on the last mission. It was healing quickly, but his shoulder was still sore.

"Took me a few months to get back to normal," she said. "You can probably do it in a fraction of the time"

"Don't rush it," Steve cautioned him. "It's only been a few days,"

"How long did it take you to recover after DC?" Bucky asked.

Steve thought for a moment. "A few weeks."

"Of course you did shoot him three times," Natasha pointed out. "And beat him senseless."

"There wasn't any sense for me to beat out of him," Bucky joked.

"This from a guy who jumped out of a high rise apartment building?" Steve replied without looking up from the paper.

Steve had been hovering over him like a mother hen since Bangkok and it had started to drive Bucky crazy. Hoping to make Steve uncomfortable and get a little space, he had started asking Steve questions about their fight on the helicarrier. Steve had called his bluff and answered them, even joking about the incident. He was still hovering, but the subject was no longer taboo, which was almost better. Navigating the minefield of safe topics was exhausting for everyone and made Bucky feel like a china doll. Even if his plan had backfired, he was grateful for the break in the tension.

Someone knocked on the front door. Bucky reached for his knife and Natasha dropped into a defensive stance.

Sharon sighed. "Guys, Hydra isn't going to ring the doorbell, it's our neighbor."

"Or the Jehovah's witnesses again," Wanda muttered.

Steve frowned as Sharon went to answer the door. He was still wary of Mrs. Mackenzie but Bucky liked her. She had offered to let him help with renovations and repairs to earn some money. Bucky had eagerly accepted. Sharon arranged for everything they needed, but being able to buy a cup of coffee now and then without having to ask for an allowance made him feel more independent. It also gave him an escape when the house felt too confining. Sharon returned with Mrs. Mackenzie and a coffee cake.

"Good Morning, I brought this over as a cover," Mrs. Mackenzie said, setting the coffee cake on the counter. "Sharon, your special request went through and the technicians will be here in an hour."

Steve lowered his paper. "You baked a coffee cake just to have an excuse to come over?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Mrs. Mackenzie said. "I have a stack of these in the freezer ready to go. I did heat it up for you, though"

"It smells delicious," Sharon said. "Would you like some coffee?"

"That's sweet of you," Mrs. Mackenzie said. "But I can't stay. I need to go make up the bed in the guest rooms and give the bathroom and once over. I'll show myself out."

Steve was still eyeing her suspiciously as she left. "Technicians?" he asked.

"Scott and Bucky wanted a second opinion on the arm, to be sure it doesn't break again," Sharon explained.

The mood in the room turned dark. Steve was angry. Bucky realized that Sharon had arranged this without consulting him. Steve had always had a bit of a temper, but being deceived was especially vexing to him. Bucky turned around to refill his coffee, pointedly ignoring the imminent argument. Wanda got up quickly to get a piece of coffee cake. If he could sense the tension, she had to be choking on it.

"And no one thought to tell me?" Steve asked. Bucky turned his attention to the coffee cake and Natasha started prepping her ingredients. Sharon stood her ground, undaunted.

"It would have turned into an argument and you would have lost," she said . "It was just quicker to go ahead and do it."

Steve started to say something, but glanced at the kitchen full of people. He set the paper on the table and stood up. "Sharon, can I talk to you for a minute on the patio."

Sharon kept a tight smile on her lips and followed him out. Bucky, Natasha, and Wanda crowded near the window, straining to hear. Steve kept his voice low but the tone was clear. The front door opened and Wilson came into the kitchen from his jog.

"What's going on out there?" he asked, grabbing the orange juice from the fridge.

"Just Steve's monthly reminder that he's living in a house full of spies and assassins," Natasha chirped.

"You think he would have realized that by now," Wanda said.

Wilson shrugged and drank the orange juice from the bottle.

"Other people drink that," Bucky chastised him.

Wilson gave Bucky a sideways glance and continued to chug the bottle until it was empty. "Too bad, we're out."

Bucky stifled a laugh. "I didn't say I wanted any."

Wilson glared at him and tossed the bottle in the recycling bin.

Steve came back inside. From his expression it was clear that Sharon had won the argument, at least for now. Steve was one of the most stubborn men Bucky had ever known, but Sharon was every bit as dogged and resolute. Steve would never have been happy with someone less challenging, but it did cause him a good deal of aggravation. He grabbed his paper and took his coffee to the den to lick his wounds.

"He's kind of a sore loser, isn't he," Natasha asked.

"Who? The skinny asthmatic who tried to enlist four times?" Bucky remarked.

"Who's morning is it for breakfast"? Wilson asked, pouring the last of the coffee into a mug.

Wanda looked at the chart. "Sharon."

"Oh look, I made coffee cake." Sharon said. "And whoever goes up to shower first, wake Scott. The SHIELD guys will be here in an hour."

"I'll do it. I have to go too,"Bucky said. He finished his coffee and headed upstairs. The door was ajar and Lang was fast asleep, sprawled across the twin bed. Bucky nudged his way in and knocked on the door frame. "Lang?"

Lang stirred but resettled, hugging his pillow. Bucky shook the bed. Lang threw the pillow at him and curled up tightly in the twisted blankets. Bucky reached down and ripped them back. Lang jolted up and cried out.

"Oh, it's just you," he said, panting for breath.

"SHIELD sent a couple of technicians to look at my arm," Bucky told him. "They'll be here in an hour."

Lang swung his feet out of the bed. "Oh, right. I was wondering when they were going to show up." He stretched and pulled on a shirt from the floor. "I promise I'll stay full sized this time."

Bucky just nodded slowly. He still found Lang's fascination with his arm unsettling. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll be down soon."

Lang nodded, yawning as Bucky left. Bucky found a clean set of clothes and went to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, waiting a minute for it to warm up before he stepped in. The warm water ran down over his head, bouncing off his metal arm with a musical cadence.

He wasn't looking forward to spending the next few days with Lang and two strange SHIELD technicians. If he wanted to be useful to the team, he had to be sure that his arm was in peak condition, but the idea of strangers working on it made him nervous. After his years with Hydra, it was difficult for him to trust new people. He trusted Sharon's judgement, but he would still feel better when it was over.

He wasn't looking forward to being around Lang either. He hadn't gotten to know Lang well and every time they were alone, it felt awkward. Lang always seemed nervous around him, which put Bucky on edge, which made Lang even more nervous. He also found Lang's attitude annoying. He seemed genuinely happy to be on the team. Bucky envied that, but he often questioned if Lang was taking the mission seriously. Lang always seemed like he was having too much fun and Bucky worried he would get someone killed.

Bucky turned off the water and dried off. The biggest danger today was someone getting burned on a faulty wire. He might find Lang irritating, but he needed him right now. It would only be a couple of days. He put on his clothes and headed downstairs.

* * *

Mrs. Mackenzie led Bucky and Lang into the kitchen where the two technicians were setting up. Bucky hung back by the door, watching the agents carefully. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself. These men knew who he was and Sharon had assured him that their intentions were friendly. Still, he couldn't shake the instinct to run.

"Alphonso, Agent Fitz, this is Scott Lang and Bucky Barnes," Mrs. Mackenzie introduced them.

Agent Fitz waved, not looking up from his work. Lang waved back with a goofy smile on his face.

"We met last year, the jet is working great by the way. Agent Mackenzie, good to meet you." He reached out to shake hands.

"Mr. Lang. You can call me Mack."

"Scott," Lang said.

"Sergeant Barnes," Mack greeted him. Bucky stepped forward and shook his hand.

Agent Fitz had a cord in his right hand. He held out his left hand to shake Bucky's but then thought about it and switched to the right but switched back. He finally decided to just wave. "Sergeant Barnes, it's an honor."

"Thanks for coming. You can just call me Bucky." It was strange being addressed as Sergeant again and he wasn't sure he was comfortable with it. It would be easier just to drop the formality.

"Thank you for the opportunity," Mack said. "It's not every day we get to work on something like this. Make yourself comfortable, this is probably going to take a while."

Bucky looked at the chair and the equipment on the table. For a moment his mind flashed back to Siberia. Maintenance had never been a pleasant experience for him. Hydra had never cared about his comfort, only about having him in peak condition. They ignored his screams as the tools sent jarring vibrations up his arms. Sparks from the soldering tools would fly off and burn his bare chest.

"Would you like a cup of coffee dear?" Mrs. Mackenzie asked, putting a hand on his arm.

Bucky snapped out of the memory. There were no restraints here. He wasn't going to be frozen or reprogrammed when they were done. He was in his neighbor's house, being served coffee and afterwards he would sit at a table and eat a home cooked meal with his friends.

"Yes ma'am," he replied, sitting down and setting his arm on the table. "That sounds great."

"I'll have some," Lang said. Fitz raised his hand, though his request was muffled by the cable he was holding in his mouth.

"Me too. Thanks Aunt Eileen," Mack said.

"Hazelnut or dark roast?" Mrs. Mackenzie asked, looking in the cabinet.

"Hazelnut please," Bucky said.

"Hazelnut's fine," Mack agreed. He turned to Bucky, running his hand over the smooth metal. "Why don't we start with what you've already done?" he said to Lang.

"Well, he fell out of a train a couple weeks ago and it disconnected the main power coupling," Lang pointed to the area on his arm. "I had to do a patch job in the field. It's been holding, but I thought I should get a second opinion before I did anything too involved. I'm good with electrical stuff but bionics are a little out of my area."

"That's where we come in," Fitz said. "Is there any sort of data port or plug in?"

"I think there's something on my wrist," Bucky turned his arm over.

Fitz popped open a plate and examined the connection. He dug through a box of cords and plugged one into the port. Tapping a few keys on the laptop, he brought up a schematic of Bucky's arm. "Alright, we're online."

Lang looked at the display. "Right here." He pointed. "That's where it disconnected."

Fitz tapped a few keys. "I'll run a diagnostic while we examine it. What's the casing made of?"

"Vibranium." Bucky answered.

"That should have absorbed the impact," Mack mused, tapping on his arm near the shoulder.

"What do you think?" Fitz asked.

Mack took a wrench out of the toolbox. "Look at this." He tapped on the shoulder. "Steel." He tapped lower down. "Vibranium. The shoulder plating is different. That might explain the problem. When was this installed?"

"I got the first one in 1945. This one was put on a few months ago. The original was damaged beyond repair," Bucky said.

"So they just added the new one onto the original base," Lang observed. "How did you lose it anyway?"

"I tore the glowing thing out of Iron Man's chest," Bucky said.

They barely acknowledged his answer, already engrossed in some other aspect of his mechanical anatomy. Mack studied the shoulder, scrutinizing the line between the new and old sections. "I wonder why they didn't just replace the whole thing."

"Look at the grafting," Fitz said, pointing at the puckered scar where metal met flesh. "Removing that would have been nearly impossible without causing extensive damage. How much of your organic arm is left?"

"I don't know. I tore it off halfway up the bicep. Then I passed out when they started up the bone saw and woke up with a new arm." Bucky flinched as Fitz poked at his shoulder. "Then I choked a technician who asked too many questions," he added.

Fitz didn't catch the veiled threat and kept poking at him. He tapped a few points on the computer screen. "If the schematic is correct it looks like the entire arm was removed at the shoulder.

"Makes sense," Mack said. "I think it's an integration issue. Both parts look fine, but the connection was faulty. Who did the repair job?"

"I shouldn't say," Bucky told them, looking pointedly at Lang.

"You think they would have ironed out the kinks before they let you go," Lang said.

"I had to run before they finished testing it," Bucky explained. "That was the first time it had taken that sort of an impact."

"Is the entire structure vibranium or just the casing?" Fitz asked.

"I don't know," Bucky said.

"What sort of maintenance schedule did you have with the old one?" Fitz asked.

"They would tune it up before and after each mission," Bucky answered.

Fitz nodded. He didn't even seem to register the fact that they were discussing Hydra. All three were too engrossed in the mechanics of his arm to debate the morality of its origin. Mrs. Mackenzie brought him a cup of coffee and Bucky settled back for a long morning.

* * *

"I'm just not sure telling SHIELD he's here was a good idea," Steve argued as they walked over to Mrs. Mackenzie's house.

"They would have figured it out once I started ordering one armed jackets," Sharon said. "That arm is one of his main assets on the team. We need to make sure he can use it properly and we're just not equipped to do that."

"I'm just saying I would have liked to discuss it," Steve said indignantly. "I still think letting them examine him is risky."

Sharon knocked on the door. "Did anyone ever tell you you have trust issues?"

"Never," Steve sighed. "I used to be a very trusting person."

Mrs Mackenzie opened the door. "They're in the kitchen," she said leading them inside. "Coffee?"

"Thank you, that would be great," Sharon said. Steve shook his head. He didn't want to linger any longer than necessary.

Scott and the two SHIELD Agents were so fascinated by their task, they barely looked up as Steve and Sharon came in. Bucky seemed bored. Steve eyed Bucky's arm uneasily. The casing on was lying on the table and the inside was exposed. The way he moved the arm was so natural that Steve sometimes forgot about it, but seeing it stripped down to the skeleton made it impossible to ignore. It was a stark reminder of what Bucky had endured.

"How's it going?" he asked, trying to sounds cheerful.

"Wonderful," Agent Fitz said excitedly. "This is absolutely fascinating. Not just the Vibranium part but the original is unbelievably advanced for the time period. Slight compatibility issue but we're confident we can work around that."

"Have you met my nephew?" Mrs Mackenzie asked, handing Sharon a cup of coffee.

The bald man held out his hand. "Alphonso Mackenzie."

"Steve Rogers."

Agent Mackenzie chuckled. "I kind of figured. Agent Carter. Good to see you. Thanks for looking after my aunt."

"Our pleasure," Sharon said. "It's nice to have a neighbor we can talk to, and her coffee cake is phenomenal."

"Family recipe," Mack said proudly.

"So, you can fix it?" Steve asked, trying to steer the conversation back to the task at hand. The sooner this was taken care of, the better.

"Yeah," Scott mumbled, his voice muffled by the screw driver he was holding in his mouth. "We need to replace the faulty wiring and adjust a few of the gears but that should take care of it."

"How long will that take?"

"Probably a day or two." Fitz said. "It's a delicate process."

"Do we have a mission?" Scott asked.

"Moving out in an hour," Steve said. "Bucky, are you going to be ok alone?" He didn't want to leave Bucky by himself with two strangers, but they didn't have much of a choice.

"Actually could you spare me for this one?" Scott asked. "Since I'll be the one fixing this after they leave, I'd like to pick their brains while I can."

Steve tapped his fingers, considering the request. They could manage, but he wasn't completely comfortable leaving Scott home with Bucky. Scott's abilities were an asset in the field, but he wasn't certain Scott could handle the sort of problems that might arise with Bucky.

"If he's going to be the one working on Bucky's arm, he needs to know what he's doing," Sharon said quietly, sensing his hesitation.

Steve nodded. If he was willing to trust Bucky alone, leaving him with Scott and two SHIELD Agents should be fine. "Well I guess we don't have a choice. We'll be back in a couple of days."

"Nat already started something in the crock pot for dinner. It should be ready around 6 if you just want to bring it over here," Sharon told them.

"Be careful out there," Bucky said.

"Take care, pal," Steve called, following Sharon out.

"See, everything's fine," she whispered as they left.

"We are not done having this discussion," he warned her. "But right now we need to focus on the mission." Sharon smirked. Steve could already tell he was going to lose this one, but he wasn't ready to concede just yet.

* * *

Bucky flexed his arm as he and Lang walked back to the house. It felt a bit stiff after having the plates removed and reattached, but that was normal. They never seemed to go back on smoothly and it alway took a bit to work out the kinks. Even Hydra, with their cool precision had usually over tightened a few screws. They had fixed the connection problem and replaced the damaged wiring, but Fitz and Lang had asked to run some tests. Bucky had insisted they quit for the night and pick up in the morning. It was fun for them, but having to sit still for so long was tedious. His arm was bionic, but the rest of him was still flesh and blood.

"So let me know if I need to adjust anything," Lang said as they entered the kitchen.

"It's good," Bucky said. "Thanks." He had to admit he was impressed with Lang's skill, but the constant attention was tiresome. Right now he just wanted to sit down and read a book.

Lang took a beer out of the fridge. "You want one?"

Bucky shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

They sat at the table in silence. Aside from the arm, they had very little to talk about. Bucky didn't mind, but the silence made Lang antsy which made Bucky agitated. It had been a long day and he just wanted to relax.

"So how exactly did you meet Wilson?" Bucky asked to break the silence.

"I broke into the Avengers complex to steal something," Lang said. "He tried to stop me."

"Tried?" Bucky asked, more than a little amused by the idea of Lang getting the better of Wilson.

"Yeah I knocked him around a little and pulled out a few wires in the wing pack. He was cool about it though."

Bucky chuckled at the thought of Wilson getting his ass kicked by someone the size of an insect.

"Just my luck I got asked to join the team 3 minutes after the Sokovia accords went into effect," Lang muttered.

The conversation fizzled again. Lang tapped his fingers on the table. Bucky finished his beer and stood up. "I'm going to bed."

"Ok, I'm going to stay up a while."

Bucky turned back. "Uh, if you hear me talking in my sleep or find me asleep somewhere strange, don't wake me up. I might kill you."

Lang stared at him wide eyed. "Okay," he said slowly. "Good to know."

* * *

Bucky sipped his coffee as Fitz and Mack set up their equipment the next morning.

"How's the arm today?" Mack asked.

"It's good." Bucky said. A good night's rest and a hot shower had helped loosen things up. "What are we doing today?"

"We'd like to see how the repairs hold up under stress," Mack told him. "Before we get started though, Agent Carter put in a request for some equipment so let's go through that." He set a plastic box on the table and opened it.

"Your new tactical gear," Fitz said, taking each item out and laying it on the table. "Your old equipment was pretty standard issue so we didn't change much." He looked at Bucky. "I hope that's alright."

"It's fine," he assured Fitz. His outfit had been designed to be practical which left little room for deviation.

"The jacket is leather lined with Nomex thread and Kevlar fiber, so it should provide some protection against fire arms."

"Could've used that last time," Bucky muttered, rubbing his wounded shoulder. He picked up the jacket to try it on. It fit well, more protective than restrictive as the old one had been.

"Agent Carter asked us to remove the left sleeve," Mack said.

"It helps with mobility," Bucky told them. He took off the jacket and laid in on the table.

"Chest and thigh holsters designed to your measurements." Fitz continued. "The gloves and boots are just standard issue, but they're very comfortable. Tactical goggles." Fitz handed them to him. They looked very similar to his old ones, but he slipped them on to test the fit. "Bullet resistant and they'll help hide your identity."

"He has a metal arm," Lang pointed out. "I think that ship has sailed."

"Yeah, you're, you're probably right," Fitz stammered.

"They're still useful," Bucky said, setting them on top of the jacket. He didn't want to replace the face mask but he had missed having eye protection. Fitz handed him a mesh glove.

"This is a cool toy. It's a photostatic mesh. We use them to fool facial recognition, but this one has been adapted for your arm. It doesn't flex much so we made it in three parts." He laid a sleeve out on the table. "There's a glove if you just want to cover the hand and a two part sleeve, one for your forearm and one for the bicep. We'll work on a one piece model, but this should help. It's not very durable so don't take it in a fight but for infiltration or getting coffee, it should work beautifully."

Bucky slipped on the hand cover and pressed the button. It looked incredibly life like. It wasn't the same as having his hand back, but he felt a small thrill at the idea that he would be able to roll up his sleeve and use both his hands in public.

"Anything we missed?" Fitz asked. Bucky shook his head. "Alright, let's run through the stress tests. If I could see your wrist."

Bucky held out the data port. Fitz plugged in a small device and closed it up. "This will record the data and we'll be able to detect any weak points that we need to fix."

"What's your plan?" Bucky asked as Fitz set up the connection on his tablet.

"Some heavy lifting, also agility and extended use," Fitz explained

"Extended use?"

"Mack has volunteered to be your sparring partner for the day," Fitz told him.

Bucky looked at Mack. "Are you sure?"

"You don't have to go all out on me," Mack said. "But we do need to see if it will hold up in a fight."

"Your funeral, pal." Bucky mumbled. He followed them out into the yard and faced off against Mack. Fitz and Lang stood on the porch to observe.

"Last chance, are you sure about this?" Bucky asked again. Mack looked like a good fighter, but for a fair test, Bucky couldn't hold back much.

"Unless you can think of a better way."

"Alright then," Bucky said. He prepared to attack.

"Alphonso Mackenzie!" Mrs. Mackenzie yelled from the porch. "What do you think you're doing?"

Bucky and Mack both dropped out of their stance. "It's a stress test on the new wiring Aunt Eileen," Mack explained.

"And what am I going to tell your mother if he puts that thing through your head?"

Mack sighed. "Aunt Eileen, I'm a trained SHIELD agent."

"So am I, but you don't see me picking a fight with the Black Widow!"

"It's fine," Mack said again. "I know what I'm doing."

Mrs. Mackenzie scoffed. "Have it your way! Don't say I didn't warn you."

* * *

Mrs. Mackenzie pressed a steak to Mack's eye as they sat in the kitchen waiting for Fitz to compile the data. Mack winced and reached up to hold it in place.

"Well she did warn you," Lang reminded him.

"Hang on to that, that's dinner," Mrs. Mackenzie said.

"Sorry about that," Bucky said again.

"Don't worry. That one was my fault," Mack told him.

"To be fair, I did hit him with the right hand," Bucky told Mrs. Mackenzie. In the last sparring round he had caught Mack off guard with a right hook. Mack had been so focused on avoiding the metal arm, he had forgotten about the real one.

"Well that'll teach him to keep his guard up," she said, bringing over a round of iced tea.

Bucky watched as Fitz finished running through the simulation on his computer. None of the stress tests had caused a problem for him, but the computer was there to detect things he couldn't feel. He had no idea what any of the images meant, but Fitz's reaction was encouraging.

"Looks like we're good," Fitz said. "At least as far as these readings go."

"We'll need to watch this section between the shoulder and the new arm," Lang told Bucky, "but unless you decide to jump out of a plane, we should be ok."

"Alright, I guess we're done," Fitz said. He sounded a little disappointed. "Scott, do you have any questions?"

"No, I think I've got it," he said, then added. "But if you guys wanted to pop in every six months or so, that would be ok too."

"Yeah, absolutely," Fitz said excitedly. He turned to Bucky. "If that's alright with you."

Bucky nodded. "You probably want to clear that with Sharon but I don't think it's a bad idea. If you're done with me though, I'm going to go home,"

"Ok, I'll be home in a bit, I just want to run through everything one more time with these guys," Lang said.

"Thanks for your help," he said, shaking their hands.

"Anytime," Mack said.

Bucky took the box of gear and went back to the house. His right shoulder was aching after sparring with Mack, but otherwise the day had been a success. He opened the refrigerator and took out the leftover stew from the previous day. Lang would probably be over there half the night and Bucky wasn't about to wait. There was only enough left for one person anyway. It was delicious and if Natasha hadn't made as much as she did, it would have disappeared completely. He would have to get her to make it again sometime.

Bucky took his bowl to the table and opened up a section of his Winter Soldier journal. He stared at the blank page as he ate. The questions that had been thrown at him the last few days had made him realized how little he knew about his own body. The arm had always been taken care of for him without any explanation of its structure or function. No one had ever asked him how it felt. It was a weapon to them, no different from a gun. To him it was a mystery. He knew it was strong, he knew what he could do with it, but he had no idea how it worked. He didn't hate it. As Wanda had told him once, Hydra may have built it, but it was his to wield. It was part of him and only wished to understand it.

The same went for the rest of him. Zola's experiments had made him stronger, faster, and able to endure and heal from injuries that would kill a normal person. He still didn't know the full extent of what had been done to him. Comparing notes with Steve, he had figured out that his healing capabilities exceeded Steve's. Bucky reasoned it had been done to limit the amount of time he had to spend out of stasis. Since his injuries would not heal when he was frozen, accelerated healing would have been crucial. He had aged slowly during his time with Hydra, which meant that his time outside had been minimal. It also meant that the experiments could have some long term effects that he wouldn't see for years. The doctors in Wakanda had been running a full panel of tests while they fixed his arm, but those had been interrupted as well. If they were smart, the samples and results would have been destroyed.

Bucky closed the journal and took his bowl to the dishwasher. He wasn't going to solve any mysteries tonight and accelerated healing or not, he needed rest.

* * *

Bucky sat up and turned on the light. His dreams had been quiet lately, but he found it difficult to sleep with the house empty. The quiet reminded him of the ice. He looked at the clock. It was only midnight. He had gone to bed early and he wasn't used to sleeping much anyway. Even with an injury he could only stand so much rest. He took his journal and went downstairs. He headed for the kitchen, but down the hall in the den he saw a glow coming from the cracked door. Muffled voices drifted from the room. Lang should be the only other person in the house, but he had never seen him awake at this hour. Bucky crept silently towards the door and peeked in. Lang was talking to his phone.

"Scott, you know it's not safe for you to call," a woman's voice said. "Last time the FBI showed up and Paxton almost lost his job."

"I know Maggie, but it's her birthday. Just put her on for two minutes," Lang pleaded.

"Fine," the woman said. "Two minutes, I'm timing you. Cassie your Dad's on the phone, hurry!"

"Daddy!" a little girl's voice cried out excitedly.

Bucky was stunned. Lang had kids?

"Hi Peanut!" Lang said gleefully. "Happy birthday! How old are you?"

"I'm nine!" the little girl said.

"Nine!" he said with mock surprise. "No way, I thought you were driving already."

"No daddy!" she giggled.

Bucky retreated to the living room, his own questions forgotten for a moment. Lang had kids? He knew Barton was a father, but he didn't live with the team. Lang had a family somewhere, so what was he doing here with them?

In the war, Bucky had fought beside men with wives and children, and he was surprised to learn that some of them had volunteered. He couldn't understand someone leaving their family to fight a war thousands of miles away. In the first war, Bucky's own father had been drafted not long after he was born and Steve's father had enlisted before he knew Sarah was pregnant. When Bucky's turn came he had tried everything short of running away to get out of it, terrified of leaving his family and Steve behind. In the Army he had done his duty but he had never gone out of his way to be a hero until Steve had shown up. His whole life since then had been forced on him. Even coming to Steve had only been the best of a dozen bad options, but Lang had joined up enthusiastically at the worst possible moment. What would prompt someone to leave their life and put their loved ones in danger like that?

The voice stopped and Lang came out of the den. He looked at Bucky and froze. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough," Bucky said.

"Please don't tell anyone," Lang pleaded desperately. "I know calling my family is risky but this is just a once in awhile thing. Couple times a year, max."

"I won't," Bucky promised.

"Thank you!" Scott breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I swear I don't usually do this, but it's my daughter's birthday."

"Why do you do this if you have a daughter?" Bucky asked.

"Honestly? Because Captain America needed my help," Lang said proudly.

Bucky stared at him dumbfounded. "Holy shit, you're serious."

"There were five evil super soldiers on the loose," Lang reminded him. "Well not really, but if there had been, that's not something I can ignore."

Bucky felt a pang of guilt. It had been his suggestion that Zemo meant to unleash the other Winter Soldiers that had brought Lang into this.

Lang leaned against the wall. "I tried the whole family man thing and I suck at it. I can never manage to stay around long enough to be a real father, and the world needs Ant-Man a lot more than she needs a dad who can't stay out of prison."

Bucky didn't know what to say to that. Before he could think of anything, Lang chimed in again.

"Do you have kids?"

"Not that I know of," Bucky said.

"Right, dumb question," Lang said, fiddling nervously with his phone. "I need a beer." He hurried to the kitchen.

Bucky sat there. Children were one more thing he had never considered. It was possible that some woman he had slept with during the war could have gotten pregnant but he wasn't even certain he was capable of fathering a child. Zola's experiments and the years of abuse he had suffered might have made it impossible.

 _One problem at a time,_ he reminded himself. Putting that thought from his mind, he followed Lang to the kitchen and took a beer out of the refrigerator.

Lang leaned against the counter, picking at the label on the bottle. "Can I ask you something?"

"If I say no, will that stop you?" Bucky muttered.

Lang hesitated for a moment but pressed ahead. "Why do you still use Winter Soldier as your call sign?"

Bucky took a sip of the beer. "What should I call myself?"

Lang shrugged. "I don't know. It just seems like you'd want to get away from that."

"Doesn't matter what I call myself," Bucky said. "All anyone is going to see is the Winter Soldier."

Lang nodded. "I get that."

"You do?" Bucky asked skeptically.

"I was in prison for three years." Lang said. "I have a masters degree in electrical engineering but after I got out, all anyone saw was my criminal record. I get what it's like to have your past follow you around. I even had to lie to get a job at Baskin Robbins. They still found out." He sighed. "Baskin Robbins always finds out."

Bucky looked carefully at Lang, again realizing just how little he knew about him. Lang didn't strike him as a hardened criminal. "What did you do?"

"Burglary.  Nothing violent. Mostly rich assholes who had it coming."

"How many kids do you have?" Bucky asked.

"Just Cassie. She turned nine today." He tapped his cellphone and handed it to Bucky. In the picture Lang was holding a little girl with brown hair. A man and woman stood behind them. "That's her and that's my ex-wife and her husband. He's a cop."

Bucky laughed. "She went from one extreme to the other, huh?"

"Yeah. He's a good guy though, and he loves Cassie like she's his own. She's in good hands."

"She's cute," Bucky said, handing the phone back to Lang.

"Yeah," Lang said. "I miss her, but after the Sokovia Accords, being Ant-Man was going to land me in prison eventually. At least this way I have some company."

Bucky finished his beer. "Alright, I'm going back to bed. Don't bother making coffee tomorrow, I want to go to Starbucks and try out the photo-whatever glove thing."

"Photostatic!" Lang called as Bucky headed upstairs. "And when have I ever gotten up before you?"

* * *

"I'm not asking you to trust SHIELD," Sharon said as they walked through the woods to the jet, "But Coulson and his team have held up their end of the deal so far. We can trust them."

"I thought we were done talking about this," Sam groaned wearily.

"Apparently not," Wanda grumbled.

Steve ignored them and carried on with his argument. "I'm not worried about us, but having Bucky on the team changes things. We just need to be careful. If SHIELD gets their hands on him it won't be any better than the UN."

Natasha laughed. "Phil Coulson would never let that happen. He's the biggest Captain America Fanboy ever. He'd bend over backwards for you."

"Me, sure, but we're talking about Bucky here, Nat," he reminded her.

Sharon smiled, shaking her head as she opened up the ramp to the jet. "Steve, you may be his favorite, but Coulson is a pretty big fan of your whole crew."

"I'll lay money that he asked those guys to get his Bucky Barnes cards autographed," Clint said.

"He has Bucky Barnes trading cards?" Steve asked. Sometimes he wish he hadn't agreed to all the propaganda material he had been used for. Some of it was kind of embarrassing.

Sharon looked at him with an amused grin. "Steve, Coulson had the entire Howling Commandos card set. And yes, he got them all signed."

"Ok fine," Steve sighed. He kissed Sharon and settled into the copilot's seat. Maybe he was being a little paranoid. Either way, he was tired of arguing with her. The mission had run smoothly for once and he was looking forward to a peaceful ride home.

"I wonder why the Avengers didn't show up this time," Clint asked as Sharon lifted off. Natasha pulled out her tablet to check the news.

"Let's just be glad they didn't," Steve said. It was too much to hope that they had lost the scent, but it was nice to have a reprieve.

"Looks like they're in the Caribbean," Natasha said, handing her tablet to Clint.

"Any chance we can take a vacation too?" Sam asked.

"Doesn't look very relaxing," Wanda said looking over Clint's shoulder. "They're rescuing a ship caught in a hurricane."

"I'm sure they'll hang around for a few days then they're done," Sam said. "Stark probably has a private island or something."

"And he's welcome to it if it'll buy us a few days of peace and quiet," Steve said.

"Maybe we can run down to the beach one day this week," Natasha suggested.

"I'd settle for a tiki bar," Sam joked. "We don't want Barnes' arm blinding everyone."

"Throw a towel over it," Clint said. "It'll be fine."

Steve laughed and checked the readouts as Sharon leveled off the jet.

"You think they're ok?" he asked quietly.

She reached over and took his hand. "Stop worrying about things you can't control."

Steve squeezed her hand and brought it to his lips. "I think we both know that's not going to happen. But keep hoping."

* * *

Bucky and Lang sat on the couch watching _I Love Lucy_. Lang had seen all the episodes, but they were usually new to Bucky. The team would be home soon, but for now he was happy to have a quiet day without anyone poking him. The episode ended and they went to the kitchen to get a drink before the next one started.

"If they're not home in the next hour, what do you want to do about dinner?" Lang asked handing Bucky a can of soda.

"Pizza?" Bucky suggested, popping the tab.

"Eh, we did that last night," Lang said.

"You had pizza without me?" Bucky asked.

"Well we weren't going to eat that steak," Lang said. "We could get take out from Carrabba's. You could get a pizza and I can get something else."

"That could work," Bucky agreed. Lang noticed something on the counter.

"Oh, hey, I forgot to give you these yesterday. He handed Bucky a small hard sided case. "Fitz asked if I could get you to sign these for his boss."

Bucky opened the case. Inside was a stack of trading cards. He turned one over and stared at it for a moment. It was him. "Hot damn," he said, a smile creeping across his face. "I haven't seen these in years."

"Yeah, apparently that guy Coulson is a huge Captain America fan. I guess he has the whole set. He said you can leave them with Mrs. Mackenzie."

Bucky flipped through the deck. "Steve hated these things, but I always got a kick out of them. Don't tell him I said that though. We used to tease him for being a glorified USO girl. If he finds out I liked the trading cards I'll never hear the end of it."

The front door opened. "We're home!" Sharon called as she came in followed by the rest of the team.

"Yo, Tic-Tac," Sam greeted him. "How did the repair job go?"

"Pretty good," Lang said.

"What are those?" Sharon said, picking up one of the cards. "Nat!"

Natasha burst out laughing. "I knew it!"

"I should have warned you about Phil," Steve said, unable to contain a smile.

Bucky shrugged. "It's ok. I just haven't seen them in so long."

Wanda picked up one of the card. "Aww, look how handsome he was," she teased.

"Hey, I'm still handsome," Bucky said trying to look embarrassed.

Natasha took one of the cards out of the deck to examine it. "Coulson is literally going to be the only person in the world with a signed Bucky Barnes Memorial Card."

"I should get you guys to sign my set," Sharon said. "We could sell it and move to the Bahamas."

Steve looked at her with amusement. "You have a Captain America trading card set?" he asked, barely containing his laughter.

Sharon's cheeks turned red. "They were Uncle Daniel's. My cousins didn't want them so he gave them to me."

Natasha smirked. "Awww, did someone have a crush?"

"Wait, a minute." Bucky cut in. "Daniel? The guy who married Peggy? Your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's husband, gave you a set of trading cards with pictures of your future boyfriend."

"Oh shut up," Sharon snapped, flustered. "I'm going upstairs to unpack."

"Me too," Wanda said. "I need a shower after hiking through the woods in a leather jacket."

The team dispersed to settle in. Natasha followed Sharon and Wanda upstairs and Lang wandered off toward the living room. Sam got a round of beer out of the refrigerator.

"How was the mission?" Bucky asked, gathering the cards and putting them back in the case.

"We had an easy one for once," Steve told him, popping the cap off his bottle. "In and out and no one chasing us. How's the arm?"

"Which one?"

"Both, either," Wilson said.

"Right one's healing, left one's good as new." Bucky shrugged. "Those guys are alright."

"Yeah, I guess so," Steve said, finally admitting defeat on the issue.

Bucky reached out with his left hand to take one of the bottles and Steve's jaw dropped. Bucky realized he had forgotten to take off the photostatic glove.

"What did they do?" he asked, grabbing Bucky's metal arm to examine it.

"Something called a photostatic mesh," he said. He pressed the button to show Steve how it worked. "They couldn't get it to cover the shoulder plate, but I'll be able to wear a T-shirt."

"Holy mackerel," Steve said, impressed.

"It's kind of delicate," Bucky warned him. "I can't use it in a fight, but I can get coffee without having to keep my hand in my pocket."

"Well it's still early. Let's take it for a spin." Wilson suggested. "Hit up that place in Hampden and get some wings. We could play pool now that you can use both hands,"

"I'm in," Steve said.

"If I win I don't want to hear any bitching about the mechanical arm," Bucky said.

"I'm going to tell Sharon where we'll be," Steve said, heading upstairs.

"Yeah, I'm going to change real quick," Wilson said, following him out of the kitchen.

Bucky went to grab an over shirt from the closet. Just in case the glove failed unexpectedly, he wanted to have something to cover it with. Lang was sitting on the couch looking at his computer. "Hey Lang," Bucky called. "Beer and pool. You coming?"

Lang looked around like Bucky might be talking to someone else. "I don't want to intrude, and I'm not that great at pool."

"Perfect," Bucky said. "I need you on my team or Wilson's going to complain about me having an unfair advantage."

"Cool," Lang said excitedly.

"I am going to give you a few pointers because I do want to kick Wilson's ass."

"Oh yeah, sure," Lang agreed.

"But if we lose, we say my shoulder is acting up and your hands are sore from working on my arm," Bucky told him.

Lang nodded. "Yeah, let's do that."

Bucky grinned as Steve and Wilson came back down. "I think we'll be ok."

**-End-**


	12. Avenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under pressure to capture Steve, the Avengers hatch a new plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story note: CET - Central European Time / EST - Eastern Standard time

_-Central Algeria Thursday 7:05 PM CET-_

Bucky adjusted his goggles and lined up the shot, targeting the neck plating of Iron Man's suit. Exhaling, he squeezed the trigger. The shot hit the mark sending, a powerful shock of electricity through the suit. He took aim at War Machine, but Rhodes was already targeting his location.

Bucky ran along the wall, trailed by gunfire. He needed to find another vantage point to take out War Machine or the whole plan was a bust. Dropping to the ground he took shelter behind a pillar where Natasha was hiding. Across the way, Bucky could see Steve fighting off Spider-man.

"Ok, this was a bad idea," Steve admitted.

"This was your fucking idea Steve!" Bucky snarled, leaning out to take aim. War Machine was ready and Bucky ducked behind the pillar as a hail of bullets ate into the brick behind him.

"You want to clean up the language there, Sergeant?" Steve chastised him breathlessly.

"Now? Really?" Bucky snapped. Beside him, Natasha had a hand clasped over her mouth, struggling to contain her laughter. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'll tell you later," she gasped, fighting to regain her composure.

"If there is a later," Bucky muttered.

Natasha took a deep breath and drew her pistols. "Ready?"

Bucky nodded. "On three."

* * *

_-Avengers Complex Upstate New York 24 hours earlier-_

Tony, Rhodey, Hope, and Vision were already waiting at the conference table when Spider-man arrived, in costume as usual.

"Sorry, I'm late, I had to deal with a robbery, and then traffic-"

"I sent a jet," Tony exclaimed. The kid always seemed to be running late no matter what he did.

"Am I still the only one who's a little disconcerted that we have no idea who this kid is?" Rhodey asked as Parker took his seat.

"He asked if he could keep his identity a secret," Tony shrugged. "He was about to have a panic attack over it so I agreed. The public doesn't even know that Hope is on the team, so what does it matter?"

"Does he at least have a name?" Rhodey asked.

"It's Spider-man," Tony said. Rhodey sat down, momentarily defeated. "FRIDAY you can put them through."

The screen lit up showing a stern looking Indian woman. "It's about time!" she barked in a heavy accent.

"You said it wasn't time sensitive," Tony said flippantly. "I had to gather the troops."

The woman scowled. "I said we had 24 hours, now we have 18."

"Well we're here now," Hope said before Tony could respond. "What's the mission?"

"We have an illegal nuclear weapons exchange in Algeria." A series of surveillance photos flashed on the screen. "The exchange will take place at an abandon outpost at these coordinates. We need you to intercept it and apprehend those involved. After you do, a UN peacekeeping force will take possession and escort the weapon to a secure site."

"Looks simple enough," Tony said. It was almost too simple. He was tempted to tell her to let the UN deal with it and get back to work upgrading Rhodey's suit, but the team probably needed the exercise.

"I should hope so," the woman said. "But after that train fiasco in Chicago, let's try to be a little more careful."

Parker sank down in his chair, squirming uncomfortably.

"If you're worried about the stadium I can always buy the White Sox, but as I recall we saved 50 people," Tony pointed out. "The hijackers killed the driver and Rogers people, probably Romanoff, killed the hijackers, who frankly had it coming."

"Which brings me to my next point," the woman said sharply. "We agreed to let you bring in Steve Rogers and his associates. So far you have failed to do so."

Tony reached over to pour a glass of water. "You never specified a time limit."

"Your time limit is equal to my patience, which is quickly running out."

Hope leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. "You asked us to bring them in because no one else can. Maybe it's time to admit that it's not going to happen."

The woman was unintimidated. "No one else can bring them in _alive_ , Miss Van Dyne" she clarified. "If you can't do it soon, we're going to stop worrying about that detail."

"Give us a couple of months," Rhodey said. "We need to catch them at the right time or it's going to get messy.

"Bring them in or someone else will," the woman said. The screen went dark.

"Alright, suit up and move out," Tony jumped to his feet, glad to be done with the mission briefing. Having a handler chafed a bit sometimes.

"Before we do, I had a thought," Vision said.

"Make it quick," Tony said.

"We've been chasing Captain Rogers, but what if we bring them to us?" he suggested.

Tony leaned in, curious. "How so?" They might fall for it with the right bait. If they did, it would certainly save them a lot of effort.

"We were able to hack into their intelligence network and determine where they would deploy," Vision explained. "What if we give them a false lead and wait for them?"

Rhodey shrugged. "Worth a shot. We take care of this and send it to them with an adjusted timetable."

"I don't remember the whole ambush thing working out too well in Germany," Parker said.

Hope looked at him, frowning. "Not sure you're using the word ambush correctly."

"Well we would have had them if Romanoff hadn't dicked us over," Tony muttered.

"Still, it might be worth a shot," Rhodey said. "We need to take care of this soon or someone's going to get killed this time,"

Tony considered the plan. If they could choose the terrain, it would give them an advantage. In the middle of the desert, there would be nowhere for them to disappear. It was as good an opportunity as they were likely to get.

"Hope, thoughts," he said.

Hope tapped her fingernails on the table. "You're asking me to choose between sending my boyfriend to prison for the rest of his life and letting SEAL team six use him for target practice. It's a tough call."

"Well Miss Capulet," Tony quipped. "Your objection is noted, but unless you want to join him, suit up and shrink down. We can hash out the details en route."

"Fine," she said. "But I am going to laugh when he starts rewiring your suit."

* * *

_-Baltimore 4 hours ago-_

Wanda came downstairs, twisting her long hair into a tight bun. It had been a while since they had done team combat training and she wasn't going to let Natasha throw her across the room by her hair again. On the counter, Natasha's phone beeped. Wanda glanced at the screen and saw Clint's name on the caller ID. She picked it up and answered it.

"Hi Clint."

"Hey Wanda, where's Natasha?" he asked. In the background she could hear the children chasing each other around the kitchen.

"Upstairs changing," Wanda told him. "Do you want me to go get her?"

"Nah, I'll talk to her later," he said. "I was just calling to let you guys know that Laura's parents are in town so I won't be able to join you for a week or so."

"We'll manage," Wanda said. "Tell the kids I said hello."

"Will do. How are things there? Barnes doing ok?"

"He's great, all better," Wanda said. "The SHIELD techs gave him a glove that makes his hand look real so he can actually go out in public."

"Yeah, I was going to mention that to Sharon. I guess she had the same thought. How are you doing?" he asked. "You seemed a little distracted on that last mission."

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Bucky getting shot, it just," she trailed off. Bucky was fine but it was still unsettling to think how easily they could have lost him.

"Yeah, I hear you," Clint said before she had to finish. He paused. "Wanda, I'm glad you two are friends, I think you're good for each other, but be careful with him. He's a good guy, but he's dangerous."

"I know," Wanda told him. She had no illusions about Bucky or what he was capable of, but many of the same things had been said about her. The Bucky she ate cookies with at 2AM was worth the risk. "I'll be careful."

"Ok kid, I'll see you later."

"Bye, have fun with the family." Wanda ended the call as Bucky and Natasha came down.

"Who was that?" Bucky asked.

"Clint," Wanda told them. "Laura's parents are in town so he can't get away this week."

"We can let him have a few days off now that Bucky's back," Natasha said. "Sam, Scott, downstairs for training!"

"Uh, I'm not awake enough for this!" Scott moaned, rolling off the couch and onto his feet.

"I've let the training schedule slip since Bucky arrived but you boys are starting to look a little soft," Natasha said.

"Do we have to fight him?" Sam asked, eyeing Bucky warily.

Natasha flashed him a sly grin as they descended to the basement. "Aww, you ruined the surprise."

Sharon and Steve were setting up the room.

"We're seriously going to fight him?" Scott asked Steve.

Bucky clapped Scott on the shoulder. "I'll go easy on you." Scott did not seem to find that comforting. Wanda could feel a spike of anxiety from him. Bucky on the other hand seemed to be looking forward to it.

"We're all getting used each other's fighting styles," Steve explained. "It'll be good for you guys to fight someone new."

"Alright, who's up first?" Natasha asked.

Sam stepped up first. Wanda leaned against the wall and watched as Bucky cycled through the roster. Natasha and Steve watched from the side, offering critiques. Sharon lasted the longest and Scott got knocked off his feet in the first attack. There were no injuries, but Wanda did pick up a general sense of embarrassment and frustration from Bucky's opponents. Finally it was her turn.

"Can I used my powers?" she asked.

Steve nodded. "No mental attacks."

"Well if she's using powers I'm using weapons," Bucky said. She could feel a shift in his awareness. He was taking her more seriously than he had the others and she would have to be ready. Sharon handed him a pair of rubber practice knives from the gear box. He slipped them into his waistband.

As they squared off, she could feel everyone's attention on her. She had never fought Bucky before but she had watched him enough to know that she needed to be careful. Her powers could compensate for his strength, but he was still far above her level in agility and speed.

Bucky drew one of the knives and lunged at her. Wanda parried and pushed Bucky with her powers. He fell back but recovered and threw the knife at her. She used her powers to fling it aside and grab his arm. He dropped and swung towards her, using his arm as a fulcrum. She released her hold but he landed and swept her feet. As she hit the ground he rolled up into a crouch, tagging her in the chest the the other knife.

"Not bad," Natasha said.

"Me or him? Wanda groaned, rubbing her shoulder.

"Both."

"I'm still dead," Wanda grumbled as Bucky helped her up.

Natasha smiled. "I'm 1 and 2 against him when he isn't holding back."

"0 and 2. DC was tie," Bucky corrected her.

Steve laughed. He's got you there Nat."

Natasha just smirked. "You used the telekinesis well. Just remember to keep your distance."

"Who's next?" Bucky asked, stretching his right arm. It was still causing him some mild discomfort, but he had improved greatly in a remarkably short time.

Natasha stepped forward. "I'll go."

"Do I have to hold back?" Bucky asked with a mischievous smile. Steve's phone beeped.

"The grudge match will have to wait, we have a mission." He handed the phone to Natasha. "Nuclear warhead. Shouldn't be too hard, but we need to get going. Bucky?"

"I'm good," Bucky told him. "It's a little sore, but nothing I can't work around."

"Alright, you heard the man. Lock and load." Natasha said. Everyone left the basement to prepare while Wanda stayed behind to help Bucky straighten up.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked, retrieving the practice knife.

"Good as new," he said. "A little stiff, but nothing to worry about."

She could sense his sincerity, but after the mission in Bangkok she was still nervous. He seemed to read her mind and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry, I can almost guarantee you Natasha's going to make me a sniper on this one so I'll probably be out of the line of fire."

"What makes you so sure?" Wanda asked.

"That's how I'd do it," he said. "This isn't the first time I've had to stop a weapons exchange."

"Why is that not comforting?" Wanda asked as they headed upstairs.

"Well, it destabilized some third world banana republic and might have sparked a war," Bucky admitted.

"Well, let's go stop one," Wanda said.

* * *

_-Central Algeria 3 hours ago-_

With the mission finished, the Avengers sat in the quinjet. Tony kicked up the air conditioning a notch as the debriefing wrapped up.

"The warhead has been safely delivered," the Councilwoman reported. "We will be in touch." The screen went blank.

"She's not much for conversation, is she?" Tony mused.

Hope rolled her eyes. "As difficult as this might be to accept, some women are just immune to you charms.

Tony gave her the most charming smile he could managed after spending all day in the desert. "Whatever gave you that idea?" Hope stared at him flatly. "Vision, how's part two looking?"

Vision stared off into space for a minute. It was his equivalent of looking at a computer screen but more in depth. "They've picked up the trail and should be on the way."

Parker flipped down, hanging from the roof of the jet by his knees. "So do you just have wifi in your head or something?"

"Something like that," Vision answered patiently.

"How long is this going to take?" Parker asked. "Because I have-"

"It's summer," Tony cut him off. "Do not say homework."

"Chores," he finished. Rhodey groaned.

"If they don't show up in 5 hours we'll call it a bust." Tony said, activating the suit. "We don't know when they'll get here so be ready."

Everyone moved to prepare for the next leg of the mission, but Hope remained in her seat staring at the map of the outpost. "What if we did know?"

Tony paused and opened up his helmet. "Say again?"

"What if we did know when they would show up?"

"I think it's a little late to change the plan," Parker said.

"Oh no, this plan is going to go horribly sideways. There's no way to pull it off unless we start shooting to kill." Hope said. "Which I am not advocating," she added quickly.

"So what are you suggesting?" Rhodey asked.

"We've been engaging them when they're suited up and ready for a fight," Hope pointed out. "That's not going to work. What if we put a tracking device on their jet. We'd know where they were at all times and if we could figure out where their home base was, we could find a way to bring them in on our time when they're not ready.

"Tony and I considered that," Rhodey told her. "They'd find it in 5 seconds."

Hope smirked. "What it it was the size of a grain of sand?"

* * *

_-Central Algeria 30 minutes ago-_

Sharon put the jet down a mile away from the outpost. According to their information, the exchange would take place in 2 hours. That gave them plenty of time to prepare. Steve adjusted the fastenings on his outfit and tightened the straps on the photon emitter that served as his shield.

"Ok, here's the plan." Natasha said, bringing up a map of the area. "Sharon, stay with the jet in case we need a quick extraction. Bucky you're on the ridge, here. If anyone tries to activate the warhead, take them out."

"What'd I tell you," he whispered to Wanda.

"Everyone else will be positioned outside the structure. Steve, you'll be here. Wanda, here on the wall. Sam, you're on the other side. I'll cover this section. Scott, you wait with Steve. Once the warhead is in play, Scott will move in and immobilize as many of the hostiles as he can. Wanda, disarm anyone you can. Everyone else, wait 10 seconds and move in.

"What do we do with the warhead?" Scott asked nervously.

Natasha considered for a moment. "If you shrink it, will it blow up?"

"I'd really rather not find out," Scott said.

Steve stepped forward and tapped a few settings on the screen, zooming out. "Well, if the Avengers show up, we retreat and let them handle it. If not, we can drop it at Aviano Air Force Base in Italy." He pointed to the base on the map. "They should be able to take care of it."

"Why weren't the Avengers called in already?" Sam asked. "This seems like the sort of thing the UN would actually use them for.

Natasha frowned. "That's a good question."

Steve looked at the plan again. He had tried to ignore the tickle in the back of his mind, but they were right. Something was off about this mission. Even so, they couldn't take the risk. They had to act on the information available and right now all signs pointed to a dangerous weapon being sold on the black market in two hours.

"Just be ready," he said. "If they show up, fall back to the jet and let them handle it. Do not engage unless you have to."

"I don't like this Steve," Sharon said suddenly.

Steve reached over to squeeze her hand. "Just stay with the jet in case we need you. Nat, do we have any of those EMP rounds SHIELD gave us?"

She checked in the ammo cabinet. "A few."

"Give them to Bucky. Everyone keep your eyes peeled and let's move out."

The team picked up their gear and headed out of the jet. Steve did one last check around the jet to make sure nothing had been forgotten and headed for the ramp. Sharon caught his hand and pulled him back, kissing him fiercely.

"If they show up, just run," she said, "Don't try to talk to him. Just get everyone and get back here alive." She kissed him again.

Steve pulled her close as the memory of crashing into the arctic flashed through his head. He vowed to himself that he would never do anything that foolish again. This was not a goodbye kiss. He would never stop trying to save the world, but he was through dying for it.

"I'll see you soon," he promised, lifting her hand to his lips before he ran to join the others.

* * *

_-Central Algeria 15 minutes ago-_

"They're heading your way." Hope reported as she flew off towards the jet.

"Ok, did you see where they parked?" Tony asked.

"It's about a mile south, I'm enroute."

"Ok, you know what to do."

Hope put a hand on the miniaturized tracking beacon to be sure it was secure in her belt. She hoped Scott would forgive her for this. She didn't want to see him locked up and she hated having anything to do with putting him there, but he wasn't giving her much of a choice. For his own good she needed to bring him in before someone else did.

* * *

_-Central Algeria 10 minutes ago-_

Bucky lay on the hot rock, tracking the team through the scope as they took positions around the structure. Wanda was on the wall, on the side closest to him. Steve was around the other side. Wilson and Natasha were out of view on the sides. He stretched his neck and shifted his position to keep from going numb. It had been a while since he had done this, but it felt natural. He pushed down a memory from the Winter Soldier and reminded himself that he had been a sniper during the war too. This was one skill he had come by rightly. He pushed a few strands of hair out of his face and refocused his attention on the target. Some movement caught his attention and he looked through the scope.

"It's an ambush!" he yelled as Spider-Man crawled along the wall towards Wilson's position. The rest of the Avengers appeared as if out of nowhere. Their suspicions had been right, the whole mission was a trap.

Bucky looked through his scope. With the confusion, he might be able to get a few shots off before they noticed him. He would have to make them count. Exhaling, he took aim at War Machine. He had a clear shot at the left hand repulsor. He squeezed the trigger and War Machine spun out of control, allowing Natasha to get away. Above the structure, Spider-Man had webbed on to Wilson's feet and was preparing to anchor him to a wall. He took aim and severed the webbing, sending Spider-man tumbling to the ground. The kid recovered quickly but Wilson was already away, dropping onto Iron Man's back to knock him off balance. For a moment, Iron Man pitched forward and Bucky had a clear shot at the repulsor on his foot. He fired and Iron Man spun out of control for a few yards before he managed to compensate.

"Everyone fall back to the jet!" Steve ordered. "If you get an opening, go!"

Wilson veered off, flying back towards the jet before Iron Man or War Machine could recover and pursue him. Bucky ran, keeping low along the ridge. Iron Man and War Machine would spot him if he stayed. Steve would want him to retreat, but from this distance, he might be able to create an opening for the others without putting himself in danger. As he ran, he notice Wanda and Vision outside the walls. She didn't even seem to be fighting him, but he was blocking her retreat. Bucky knelt down behind a rock, fishing a few of the EMP rounds out of his belt. He loaded them in the rifle and took aim.

* * *

_-Central Algeria 8 minutes ago-_

"It's an ambush!" Bucky yelled over the com.

Wanda jumped off the wall and ran. Steve's orders had been clear. Retreat. Avoid contact. She was 20 feet from the wall when Vision rose out of the ground in front of her. She swirled her hand and prepared for a fight.

"Wanda, you are under arrest," he said, his voice soft but unyielding. "Please come quietly,"

Wanda stood poised to strike. Vision wasn't attacking but the jet was a mile away over rough terrain. She would never outrun him. Her only chance was to put him down long enough to get away. Taking hold of him, she forced him to the ground. She felt a resistance that had never been there before. He had grown stronger, but it would not be enough.

"You can't beat me Vision," she said, focusing more energy into her assault to compensate.

Vision looked at her sadly. "To be honest I don't think I've been trying." Surprised Wanda dropped her hold. He straightened but made no move to advance.

"We have been ordered to bring you in, peacefully if possible, but by force if necessary. Please surrender quietly." His voice was almost pleading. He was hoping to avoid a confrontation, but it was far too late for that.

"I can't do that," she said. Part of her did want to go with him, but she knew how it would end.

"They aren't going to tolerate this arrangement much longer," he warned her.

Wanda glared at him. "You want to see me back in the RAFT, caged up like some animal with a shock collar?"

"I want to see you alive," he said. Wanda stared at him as the wind rustled his cape. His voice was almost emotional, almost desperate, almost afraid. "I miss you Wanda," he said softly.

Wanda reached out to touch his mind, longing for even a brief moment of contact. As she brushed the edges of his consciousness, a bullet tore through the air, striking Vision in the head.

"No!" She screamed as his mind dissolved into static. Another shot rang out, striking him in the chest. Frantic, she knelt beside him as he collapsed. She hadn't thought that bullets could hurt him. Had the distraction made him vulnerable?

"Come on!" Bucky yelled running up to her and pulling her away toward the ridge.

"You shot him!" she screamed, twisting out of his grip. Bucky picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, running for cover.

"He's fine, it was an EMP round!" Bucky said. Wanda felt her panic subside. The EMP rounds would render him inactive, but they were not fatal.

"Buck, was that you?" Steve asked. "Why aren't you gone?"

"I was trying to clear the way. Wanda's with me." Bucky said. He set her down and they crouched behind a rock. "Blew my hiding place but the red guy should be down for a while."

"That's good at least," Steve said. "Since you're still here I have an idea. Do you have any of those EMP rounds left?"

Bucky looked in his pouch. "Enough for what you're thinking."

"Good, that leaves Spider-Man," Nat said. "Steve and I can handle him, but if we can't take out the big guns we're done for. Scott, where are you?"

"I'm in Steve's belt," he said. "Getting a bit carsick here."

"Sam?" Steve asked.

"Back at the jet," Sam said. "Gotta say, I'm a little hurt that you're planning a party without me."

"I'll make it up to you next time," Steve said. "Listen closely because we need to time this right. Nat and I will lure Iron Man and War Machine into the center and keep them there. Bucky, take them down. Wanda, Scott, focus on Spider-Man. Sam, Sharon, get the jet ready and meet us at the emergency LZ in 10 minutes. Any questions?" He paused for a moment. "Ok, go."

Wanda watched as Steve and Natasha darted out of their hiding places. Iron Man and War Machine took the bait and followed. Bucky removed the clip and loaded several of the EMP rounds as they waited for an opening.

"I'm sorry I shot your boyfriend." he said.

Wanda felt a flutter in her chest. "He's not my boyfriend!"

"Whatever you say," he muttered, locking the clip back in place. "Ok, they're distracted, let's go."

Wanda glanced back to where Vision lay in the sand as she followed Bucky to the wall. He would be alright.

* * *

_-Central Algeria 5 minutes ago-_

Steve turned and blocked a repulsor blast from Tony's suit. The damage he had sustained earlier was helping to slow him down, but he would still have the advantage if Steve tried to retreat. "Nat, how's it going?"

"Oh, you know, about like you'd expect," she said.

That was the signal. On cue they met up, leading Tony and Rhodey into the center of the structure. Tony pulled ahead and blasted the ground in front of their feet. Steve was a step too close and tripped, tumbling in the sand. He rolled to his feet with his hands in the air. That hadn't been part of the plan, but it had worked. They had Tony and Rhodey right where they wanted them, now they just needed to keep them there. Spider-Man swung up and perched on the wall.

Tony lifted a hand and charged up for a medium blast, not fatal, but enough to knock the wind out of him. "Ok Rogers here's the deal, I have been up for two straight days so I'm going to give you one chance to surrender before I get rough."

Steve shook his head. "So the nuke was fake."

"Oh no it was real." Spider-Man said. "We took care of it before you got here. Your intel was fake though. Eh, well just the time table. The rest-"

"Dude, we talked about this," Rhodey interrupted.

Steve chuckled softly. The kid hadn't changed a bit.

Natasha flipped her hair back and looked at Tony. "So did the UN tell you to hunt us down or is this just a bonus?"

"We have standing orders to take you in," Tony said. "I'm going to recommend that you surrender, because the next guys they send aren't going to ask."

"You said that in Leipzig," she reminded him. "But they keep sending you."

"They mean it this time," Rhodey insisted.

Steve looked at Tony. "Are you happy with the way things are? How many problems have you had to turn a blind eye to because they didn't think you should get involved.?"

"That's what you don't seem to get," Tony said sharply. "It doesn't matter if we're happy about it. It's the law."

"And does following orders help ease your guilty conscience," Natasha asked.

Steve inhale sharply. Natasha was stepping into dangerous territory. They needed Tony distracted, not angry.

"You just can't see a scenario where you're wrong about this, can you?" Tony asked.

"Sure I can," Steve said steadily. "But I can also see far too many where I'm right. It doesn't have to be like this Tony. Let's talk about this."

Tony fired a shot to the side of Steve's head. It went wide, but Steve couldn't help flinching.

"You lost your chance to talk about it when you forgot to tell me that your old war buddy strangled my mom," Tony said bitterly. "Surrender."

Steve's breath caught in his chest. It hurt to hear the pain in Tony's voice, especially knowing he had caused it. The practical side of his mind told him to stay quiet and redirect the conversation. The emotional side of him won. He wasn't going to tolerate accusations that he lied about things he hadn't known.

"I found that out at the same time you did," he said coldly.

"Zola only told us it was Hydra," Natasha added.

"I expect this sort of thing from her," Tony said. "But you, I always thought you were better than that. And after all the crap you gave me for not consulting the team about Ultron."

"Well I think that's just a little different," Natasha said.

Steve shifted his feet. This wasn't going at all how he had hoped. "I'm sorry Tony, I really am. If there's anything I can do, say it."

"Hand him over," Tony demanded.

Steve felt a chill run down his body. Tony knew after all. This had been a terrible idea, and if Bucky didn't hurry up, this would turn into a repeat of Siberia.

Steve shook his head. "You know I can't do that, Tony."

"Fine, I'll take you in instead," Tony said. "Maybe he'll come try to rescue you."

As Tony raised his hand to fire, Steve saw the glint of the rifle scope. A sharp crack ripped through the air and Tony's suit began to shut down. Rhodey fired toward Bucky's position, but Steve knew Bucky was already on the move. Natasha ran for cover as Steve rushed toward Rhodey, hoping to buy Bucky a few seconds to get in position. Webbing gripped Steve's arm and he was flung to the ground.

"Ok, this was a bad idea," he grunted, rolling to his feet before Spider-Man could reach him.

"This was your fucking idea Steve!" Bucky snarled, over the comm.

"Hey, you want to clean up the language there, Sergeant?" Steve cringed even as the words left his mouth. Bucky and Natasha were going to have a field day with that.

"Now? Really?" Bucky said.

Steve pushed it out of his mind and opened his belt pouch to let Scott out as Spider-Man advanced. With Tony down, they had a chance, but they needed to press their advantage while they still had it.

* * *

_-Central Algeria 7:06PM-_

Tony lay on the ground, unable to move as the overloaded systems locked up. Behind him he heard a thump as Rhodey fell to the ground. The upgraded shock absorption would protect him for a short fall, but the fight was lost.

"FRIDAY, reboot," Tony said. The systems slowly blinked back to life. "Damage report."

"Targeting and flight systems compromised. Other systems are not operating at full capacity. Recommend complete maintenance cycle."

"Well that's not happening right now," Tony muttered. Straining against the weight of the suit, he sat up and looked around. Rhodey was inactive. His vitals were normal but the suit was dead. Spider-man was being beaten up by an invisible opponent and Vision was still off line. The rest of Rogers team was on the move.

"Ok guys, Plan A is a wash. Hope how's Plan B coming?"

"Done," Hope reported. "Heading back now."

Without warning, Spider-Man slammed into Tony, knocking him back. Tony let his body sag to the ground. "Alright, everyone take five."

* * *

_-Central Algeria 7:08 PM-_

"Scott, Wanda, we're clear, break off and join us," Steve said over the com.

Bucky glanced over his shoulder as he and Natasha made their way up the hill. Lang suddenly appeared over the top of the wall. He bent down to let Wanda climb into his hand and leapt over the wall. Bucky watched in awe as he ran, clearing the distance between the structure and the ridge in half the time it had taken the rest of them. Lang's growth ability never ceased to astonish him.

The jet landed as they approached the LZ. Natasha and Bucky hurried up the ramp. Steve joined them moments later followed by Scott and Wanda. Sharon took off as they fell into their seats.

"And of course you did exactly what I told you not to do," Sharon chided Steve as she leveled off the jet.

"I was trying to distract him so Bucky could fry the suit," Steve said defensively.

Sharon leaned over and kissed him. "You are such an idiot sometimes."

The jet was quiet as the team took a minute to check things over and take a breath.

"So, are we going to discuss that language slip there?" Natasha asked, removing her wrist cuffs and storing them safely in her locker.

"You know you and Clint are the only ones who get that," Steve told her. "And he's not even here." Bucky thought he sounded agitated.

"No, she tells everyone that story," Sharon informed him, trying to hide a smile. "I just didn't realize you'd been doing that your entire career."

"Well after Austria Bucky had a bit of a mouth on him," Steve grumbled.

"You're damn right I did!" Bucky said. It had been Steve's responsibility to keep his men reasonably respectable, but after being help captive, none of the Commandos had been especially concerned with respectability. "Dugan was ten times worse than I was, and God only knows what Frenchie was saying."

Everyone laughed but Steve didn't respond. As they settled down, worn out from the fight, Bucky watched Steve closely. It had been a long day and a wasted trip, but something else was bothering him. Sighing, Bucky reclined his seat to stretch out. He would talk to Steve later when they were alone. Right now, a nap sounded good.

* * *

_-Avengers Complex Upstate New York 6:00PM EST-_

"So, did you find them?" Hope asked, looking over Tony's shoulder at the screen.

"The jet stopped at a private airfield 20 minutes outside of Baltimore, but that's a pretty densely populated area so it's too early to call it a win," he told her. "But if they move, we'll know."

"I guess that's something," Hope said bitterly.

Vision looked at her sympathetically. "No one wants to see them in prison, but it is preferable to the alternative.

"Were you even trying out there?" Rhodey asked "Because that's like the 5th time Wanda's kicked your ass.

"It was Sergeant Barnes who fired the shot," Vision corrected him, rubbing his forehead.

Tony's hand tightened around his glass."You want to be angry at someone, Hope, yell at your boyfriend for choosing the wrong side."

Hope scowled at him. "Scott may have broken the Accords, but you're the reason they exist, Stark." She left before Tony could respond. Rhodey started after her but Tony waved him off.

"Let her go," he muttered. "It's not worth arguing about tonight."

Vision looked pensively in the direction Hope had gone. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to shut down for the evening and run a maintenance cycle."

Rhodey sighed and leaned against the desk as Vision left. "You know I believe in the Accords Tony, but are you ok with this? These people are our friends."

"That's why it has to be us, Rhodey," he said, his attention still on the monitor. "If we don't bring them in, half of them are going to end up dead. Especially someone like Wanda that they can't control."

"Ok," Rhodey agreed. "Are you sure that's the only reason?"

"What other reason would I have?" Tony said.

"I don't know," Rhodey said. "But whatever's on that locked server that you won't share with the Oversight committee, I'm sure that's part of it."

Tony turned around to look at Rhodey. "The second they know that the Winter Soldier is on Roger's team, the kill order goes out. Right now they're just fugitives, but if they get labeled as terrorists, the gloves come off."

"Gloves are already off Tony," Rhodey said.

"Well, then we need to end this while everyone is still using fists."

"Fair enough," Rhodey sighed. "I'm going to bed."

Tony waited until Rhodey's footsteps disappeared down the hall and switched frames on the monitor. "FRIDAY. Review the mission footage. Winter Soldier Protocol."

After T'Challa handed Zemo over the CIA, the whole story had come to light. Most of the details had been kept from the public, but the UN committee knew that Barnes had assassinated his parents. If they even suspected for a moment that Barnes was working with Rogers, the Avengers would be pulled off the mission permanently.

Tony watched as FRIDAY ran through the footage. There wasn't much this time. Barnes had stayed out of sight for the most part, yet from a distance he had managed to disable half the team. Fighting Barnes and Rogers together was going to end bloody. He was still furious with Rogers but even in his darkest thoughts he didn't want him dead. They would have to wait. He needed to take Rogers and Romanoff out of play first if he wanted a clean shot at Barnes.

* * *

_-Baltimore Sunday 1:17 AM-_

~" _Wait a minute. No one is going to deal with the fact that Cap just said, 'Language'?" Tony said. Steve cringed. It was going to be a while before they let this one go._

" _I know,"he sighed as he dove over the handlebars and flipped his motorcycle into the oncoming jeep. "It just slipped out."~_

Steve opened his eyes and sat up. On the floor beside him, Bucky slept peacefully, untroubled by nightmares for once. Taking care not to disturb him, Steve eased out of the bed and slipped downstairs through the dark house to the basement.

Steve set up the heavy bag and fastened the boxing gloves. He threw a few light strikes to warm up, falling into a steady rhythm before he attacked in earnest. His fists hammered against the surface of the bag as he tried to clear his head.

When he had called Tony out on the mission in Sokovia it had just been a leftover reflex from his days with the Commandos. He had been so focused on Bucky back then, that in the heat of battle, fighting Hydra soldiers with strange weapons in a snowy European forest, he had forgotten who he was talking to. Now the situation was reversed and it was Tony's absence that weighed on his mind.

Even after a year of radio silence, he had held onto the hope that they might be able to work things out. After the past few weeks, that seemed impossible. Tony had never been one to back down, even when he was wrong. He wouldn't stop until they were all in jail. Steve's biggest worry was that one of them might get killed in the process. There was always a chance that any of them might die in the line of duty, but he knew Tony would never forgive himself if he caused it, or even failed to prevent it.

Behind him, Steve heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He turned to see Bucky watching him.

"Did I wake you up?" he asked, turning back to the bag.

"No, I woke up and you were gone."

"Nightmare?"

"Nothing upsetting," Bucky said calmly. "Being a sniper again stirred up a few memories from the war." He paused. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, why?" Steve said, hitting the bag with a hard right. It was a lie, but he didn't want to talk about this with Bucky.

"Well," Bucky said. "When we used to give you a hard time for having a stick up your ass back in the war, you never used to get upset about it."

Steve caught the bag. "I'm just tired," he lied. "It was a long day and I feel like an idiot for letting them lure us out there."

"You seem tired a lot lately," Bucky pressed him.

"Well, you know, this job isn't easy!" Steve snapped. He immediately regretted raising his voice. Bucky was only trying to help. "Today was just kind of a mess," he said in a calmer tone. "I just need to work off some tension."

"If you say so," Bucky said doubtfully. He retreated upstairs as Steve turned his attention back to his workout.

* * *

_-Baltimore 1:25 AM-_

Wanda leaned back in the patio chair, looking up at the sky. There was a pleasant breeze, and after the hot dry air of the desert, the humidity of Baltimore felt refreshing. It was a clear night and the stars were visible. The ride home had been quiet, but not relaxing. No one had been in the mood to talk but she had felt a pervasive sense of disquiet from the team. Along with her own unsettled thoughts it had made for a tiresome trip. Most of the team had gone to bed after dinner, but she had come outside, seeking the peaceful silence of the night air. With only her own feelings to dwell on, her mind kept returning to Vision.

~" _What do you want?" Wanda asked._

_Vision looked at her with his piercing blue eyes as though he were staring into the very depths of her soul. "For the world to see you, as I see you."~_

Those words had been spoken a year ago, before everything had fallen apart. She had never asked him exactly what he saw when he looked at her. She would have looked into his mind, but she had been caught off guard at the time, swept up by the intensity of his gaze. Others saw a dangerous weapon, a child playing with fire. Whatever he saw, it was something he admired.

The door opened and Bucky came out onto the patio. She had wanted to be alone, but she didn't mind his presence. He seemed vaguely troubled, but his mind felt mostly quiet tonight.

He settled into the chair beside her. "This is different."

"It's nice out tonight and I wanted somewhere quiet," she said.

"Still up, or down early?"

"Still up," Wanda confessed.

"What's wrong?" Bucky asked. "Does it have something to do with the red guy?"

"Do you not remember his name or are you making fun of him?" Wanda asked. The way he sometimes talked about Vision irritated her .

"A little of both sometimes," Bucky admitted. "Starts with a V."

"Vision," Wanda reminded him.

"Wanda," Bucky said softly. "I get that he's your friend, but don't forget that he's one of them."

Wanda felt a surge of anger. "He would never hurt me."

Bucky turned to her. "Are you willing to stake your life on that?" he asked. "Or mine? Or Natasha's, or Barton's?"

"He would never hurt me," Wanda said again, a soft red glow appearing around her hand.

Bucky glanced down at her hand and nodded in defeat. "Ok, if you say so," he said, settling back in the chair. "So what is it about the guy?"

Wanda looked at Bucky. He didn't know Vision. He only saw someone who had threatened her. He didn't see what she could. "He's beautiful," she said. "When I first met him, I look inside his mind and he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. It was pure and innocent, yet sophisticated. I've never known anyone like him."

Bucky laughed.

"What?" Wanda asked, angered by his reaction. She had bared her soul and he thought it was funny.

"Nothing," he said with an amused grin. "Look, I'm sorry I shot him, I thought you were in trouble."

"I miss him," she said quietly. Bucky put a hand on her shoulder. "I miss the Avengers. I just wish we could have stayed together."

"Well, from the way he pulls his punches when you square off, I think maybe he misses you too," Bucky said. He stood up. "I'm going back to bed, don't stay out too late."

* * *

_-Baltimore 1:32 AM-_

Bucky went upstairs, leaving Wanda on the patio with her thoughts. Natasha was coming out of the bathroom when he came up.

"Have you seen my roommate?" she yawned.

"She's out on the patio. I think that run in with Vision is bothering her."

Natasha sighed. "Those two have been a headache for me since they joined."

Bucky grinned. "How long do you think before she realizes she's in love with him?"

"Don't rush them. That innocent clueless phase is the best part." Natasha said. "Good night." She flashed Bucky a playful smile, her gaze lingering on him for a moment.

Bucky felt a strange flutter in his stomach. "Good night," he said as she slipped back into her room.

**-End-**


	13. Hail Hydra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chance encounter with a figure from his past forces Bucky to confront a memory he had buried.  How did Alexander Pierce keep the Winter Soldier under control?  
> 
> Warning: Bucky getting tortured, because HYDRA.

 

It was early, but the late summer heat was already setting in. The humidity made Bucky’s hair cling to the back of his neck.  He ignored it, as he had been conditioned to do for so many years, and glanced at his opponent.  Natasha stood 50 feet away, guns drawn.  Barton stood in between them and slightly behind.

“Ready,” Barton said.  Bucky and Natasha both brought their weapons up to firing position.  

Barton looked at them and drew back his bow, loosing an arrow high into the air.  He drew another as soon as it took flight and loosed four more in rapid succession.  They separated in the air. Bucky and Natasha opened fire.  Bucky emptied the clip and quickly changed it out. The reloading time might cost him a few targets, but he had never liked shooting with his left hand, even before he lost it.  Natasha was equally proficient with either hand.  He was still the better shot, but just barely. Finally they were both empty and the field fell silent.

“Alright,” Barton said, folding up his bow.  “Final count puts Barnes in the lead by two.  Sorry Nat.”

Bucky smirked triumphantly at Natasha.  “Loser buys Starbucks,” he reminded her.

“So since you were only ahead by two, I just have to get a tall?” she teased.

“Oh no, the bet was a venti,” he said, holstering his gun.

“Fine,” she agreed with a coy smile.  “But only because you looked half asleep out there.  That was practically a tie.”

Bucky laughed.  “We should get Steve a mocha and get the barista to write something ridiculous on the side.”

“Yes, we are definitely doing that,” Barton said as they headed back to the car.  

After missing the last mission, Barton was visiting them for the week.  He claimed it was for team building purposes, but Natasha said he was trying to escape his in-laws.  They had decided to stay an extra week, so his wife had let him come down to Baltimore.  Natasha had invited Bucky along on the target practice outing, claiming she needed a challenge.  Bucky had been eager to see what Barton could do with a bow, and it seemed like a better use of a Thursday morning than listening to Sharon and Steve argue over paint colors for the bathroom.

Bucky climbed in the back of the car and spent most of the drive trying to adjust the photostatic glove.  It worked well, but getting it on was usually a two person job. Finally, Natasha had to reach back and help him.   She finished just as Barton pulled into the parking lot.  

As they walked through the door, Natasha’s phone dinged.  She checked it without breaking step as they got in line. “Sorry boys, we’re going to have to get that to go,” she said.

Bucky looked at his hand and sighed.  He hated putting in all that effort just to stand in line for five minutes, but duty called.  

“So what if we get him a frozen cappuccino and have her write Cap on Ice?” he suggested.

Barton frowned.  “I feel like we could do better, but we’re in a hurry.”

 

* * *

 

 

The team was already moving when they arrived back at the house.  Sharon was checking the equipment bags on the kitchen table and Steve was talking to Wilson.

“We got you an iced cappuccino,” Natasha said, handing him the cup.

Steve looked at the side and then at Natasha.  “Hilarious,” he said flatly.  “Moving out in 10.”

Bucky and Natasha ran up to grab their gear. Wanda was coming out of the bedroom as they came up the stairs.

“Your macchiato is on the counter,” Bucky told her.

“Thanks,” she said.  “Steve said we should be back before dinner. Do you want to see a movie later?”

“Sure, but I get to pick this time,” Bucky said. He went to his room and opened the closet to get his gear bag.  Steve came in behind him and closed the door to their room.  He stood there for a moment with his hand on the door knob, looking at the floor as he worked up the courage to say something.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“I wanted to talk to you before we left,” Steve said.  He took a deep breath and looked up to meet Bucky’s gaze.  “The mission is bringing down a HYDRA base.  Tell me honestly.  Can you handle this?”

Bucky started to joke about the war, but he knew what Steve was asking.  It had been almost a month since the fight in the basement, but the memory haunted him.  His pulse quickened as he recalled the spurting blood and the cold rage that had led him to kill the man so brutally.

He kept his breathing steady.  It was different this time.  He knew what they were up against and he could prepare.  He would likely be forced to kill, but he could do it cleanly, quickly, without malice.  This was like the war, back when he had killed out of necessity to protect his friends and the world.  It had been weeks since he had had a major incident and he wasn’t going to let HYDRA ruin everything he had worked to rebuild.

“I can do it Steve.  It caught me off guard last time, and I understand if you want me to stay behind, but I can do it.”

Steve clapped him on the shoulder.  “That’s all I need to hear.”

“Besides,” Bucky said, in a lighter tone.  “It’s been 70 years since we took down a HYDRA base together.  I’m not going to let you have all the fun.”

Steve cracked a thin smile. Bucky couldn’t help feeling a sense of nostalgia as they headed off.

 

* * *

 

 

Aboard the jet, Steve brought up the mission on the display screen. 

“SHIELD sent us a tip about a HYDRA cell operating out of Atlanta.  We need to go in, figure out what they’re working on, and destroy it.  Lang, get into their computers, download all the data and fry the system.  You’ll be the first in. Try to get as much as you can before they notice.”

“What’s the ant farm for?” Bucky asked.

“Crazy ants,” Lang explained.  “They can conduct electricity and fry the circuits.  I do more than just shrink, you know.”

“Everyone else is back up,” Steve continued. “When Lang finishes or they find him, we’ll go in, subdue as many HYDRA agents as we can, and destroy whatever’s left.  Any questions?”

“Are we sure this isn’t an ambush?” Natasha asked.

“The Avengers are at a press conference, so we should be in the clear,” Sharon told them.

Steve closed up the screen and sat down in the co-pilot seat.  Sam came up and leaned in close to whisper.

“I’m going to ask this one more time.  Are you sure Barnes should be going on this mission?”

“He says he can handle it,” Steve answered.  

“And yesterday when he woke up, he also said it was 1938,” Sam argued.  “This is HYDRA, Steve. Just because he hadn’t had a problem recently doesn’t mean we should invite one.”

“Your objection is noted,” Steve said, "but I’m not going to take him off the team unless he gives me a reason.”

Sam sighed and went back to his seat.  Steve settled down in the chair. He could tell Bucky had his own reservations, but he seemed determined to put the previous incident behind him.  Steve wanted to give him a chance to prove that he could move forward.  For Bucky’s sake, he hoped he was doing the right thing.

 

* * *

 

 

The operation went as planned until Lang started to download the data.  The system detected the intrusion almost as soon as he established the connection.  Lang was good enough to stay ahead of the firewall, but their time was limited now. The team moved in as planned to give Lang time to finish his assignment.

They made their way in through a roof access to find the base in chaos.  HYDRA scientists were scrambling, trying to save anything they could and rushing to destroy the rest.  Guards were swarming through the base, ready to engage. Bucky and Natasha took point, clearing the catwalk near the roof access for the others to enter.  

On the floor below, Bucky spotted a group of technicians at a row of computer terminals, probably trying to lock Lang out of the system. He took aim and fired, shooting four of them in the head, a quick, clean death.  They were HYDRA, and leaving them to continue whatever they were working on wasn’t an option, but he wasn’t going to sink to their level again.  

He regrouped with Natasha and descended to the main floor of the facility.  Wanda and Steve were heading down on the other side to take control of the lab. Barton remained on the catwalk, picking off targets from above. Wilson had landed by the security controls and was attempting to open the doors.

“You go right, I’ll go left, and we’ll meet back by the door,” Natasha instructed.  

Bucky nodded and ran off to cover his side.  Ahead of him, a man was closing in on Wilson.  Bucky aimed, but his pistol jammed.

“Wilson!” he cried out.  Wilson turned, but too late to react.  Bucky hurled the gun at the man and caught him in the head. He dropped to the floor.  Bucky went over to retrieve his gun as Wilson pinned the man with a foot on his chest.

“Thanks,” he said, giving Bucky a low five. On the floor, the man was coming to. Wilson bent over him. “Alright, how many more of you are there?”

“Cut off one head-”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it,” Wilson interrupted.  “But how many heads do I have to cut off today?”

The man spat at Wilson.  Bucky grabbed him by his ridiculous bow tie and lifted him off the ground.

“My friend here asked you a question,” he said.  

The man’s eyes widened, staring at the metal arm that gripped his shirt. Bucky saw a glint of recognition in the man’s eyes. He felt his breath catch in his chest.  He knew this man.  

Taking advantage of Bucky’s surprise, the man reached to press a button on his watch.  It emitted a piercing high pitched tone. Bucky and Wilson collapsed to the ground.  Bucky could feel the noise reverberate through his head as he lost his balance.  The man turned off the sound and started speaking quickly in Russian.

“ _Longing, Rusted, Seventeen-_ ” Bucky lunged at him.  He would not let it happen again.  He grabbed for the man’s leg.  The man stepped back and Bucky fell hard on his chin.

“ _Daybreak, Furnace, Nine,_ ” the man continued.  Bucky screamed as he felt a stabbing pain in his head.  He staggered to his feet and grabbed for the man’s throat.

“ _Benign, Homecoming,_ ” the man shouted, stepping out of Bucky’s reach.

“Barnes!” Wilson’s voice barely registered against the pain in his head.  He tried to stand but stumbled back to the ground.

“Shut up!” Bucky screamed, swinging his fist at the man’s jaw.

“ _One, Freight Car._ ” Bucky felt his mind go blank as his hands fell to his side. _“Good Morning Soldier.”_

_“Ready to comply.”_

“Kill the Black Widow!”

The Soldier turned just in time to block a strike from his target.  He reached out to grab her hair, but she stepped in and headbutted him.  He recovered and swung, but she bent backward under his arm.  Bouncing back up, she hit him under the chin with a surge of electricity.  He spasmed as his vision faded to black.

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha knelt to check Bucky’s pulse.  He was alive. Quickly, she jumped to her feet and ran after the man.  His plan had failed, but she couldn’t let him escape.  He stumbled and fell sprawling to the floor.  Natasha noticed a distinctive red glow around his feet and pinned him to the ground.

“What did you just do?” she demanded.

“Hail HYDRA!”

Natasha punched him in the mouth.  “I’ll ask you again-”

A bullet ripped through his head.  A heartbeat later, an arrow struck the gunman before he could fire at Natasha. Kicking the corpse, Natasha ran back to help Sam and Bucky.

“Scott, where are you on the computer?” she asked, 

“Download complete!  Frying the servers now!” Scott said.

“Alright, we’re cutting this one short,” Steve said running to join Natasha. “Finish up and get out of there.”

“He’s alive,” Natasha told Steve.  “I stunned him.”

Steve hesitated for a moment them went to help Sam.

“Dude zapped us with some crazy sonic thing and then babbled a bunch of stuff in Russian,” Sam told them, shaking his head to try and clear it.

Steve helped Sam sit up and knelt beside Bucky.  “Bucky?  Come on, pal, I need you to wake up.”

“Clint,” Natasha said. “Take over.  Steve and I need to evac Sam and Bucky. You and Wanda help Scott wrap up here and fall back to the jet.”

They had accomplished the main objective.  They would have to be satisfied with that.  She went to help Sam off the floor while Steve picked up Bucky.  

 

* * *

 

 

_The Soldier screamed again as the current surged through him.  It cut off and he hung limply from the chains that held his hands above his head.  They had been doing this so long that he had forgotten the reason.  He was starting to wonder if they just enjoyed causing pain.  He would show them pain._

_The technician looked away from him for a moment and the Soldier saw his chance.  He wrapped his legs around the man’s neck, choking him from behind._

_“Touch me one more time and I will rip out your still beating heart and force feed it to you!” he screamed._

_Another man shoved the electric baton into the Soldier's back.  He jerked violently, snapping the technician’s neck between his legs.  Cursing, the man cut the power.  The Soldier sagged limply as the technician’s body dropped to the floor.  The Colonel shouted orders at his men and the chains holding the Soldier’s hands were released.  He had barely hit the floor before they grabbed him and hauled him to the chair.  He lashed out wildly, kicking one man in the chest hard enough to drive a rib through his lung.  The man fell, gasping for breath, but two more stepped in to take his place.  They pushed the Soldier into the chair, forcing the mouthguard between his teeth as the paddles descended._

 

* * *

 

 

“Sharon, open the ramp,” Natasha said as they approached the jet.  Sam had an arm around her shoulder, still disoriented from the sonic blast. Bucky was in Steve’s arms, limp and unresponsive.

“Oh my god, what happened?” Sharon asked as they came in.

“I don’t know,” Steve said, a slight note of panic in his voice.  He sounded like a scared child.

“They were attacked with some sort of sonic weapon,” Natasha explained.   “Bucky turned on me and I had to tase him.”

She settled Sam into a seat and unfolded one of the beds. She and Sharon helped Steve lay Bucky on it.  Sharon turned on the health monitor in the wall.  Natasha held her breath for a moment before the monitor started to display a slow, steady heartbeat.

“Should we sedate him?” Sharon asked.

Steve looked at her, shaking his head helplessly.

“No,” Sam said, still groggy from the sonic blast.  “Let him regain consciousness before we do anything, but strap him down.”

Steve hesitated for a moment, but applied the restraints.  “I’m sorry, Buck,” he whispered.

“What about the mission?” Sharon asked.

“We got what we came for,” Natasha told her.  “Clint’s finishing up with the others.”

Steve draped a blanket over Bucky.  He stirred and slowly opened his eyes, but his gaze was unfocused.  He muttered incomprehensibly in Russian.

“What’s he saying?” Steve asked Natasha.

She shook her head.  “It doesn’t make sense, like I’m hearing the other half of a conversation.  ‘No’ ‘You said’ ‘stop’ a lot of profanity and some very nasty threats.”

Steve clenched his fist.  “Sounds like he’s being tortured.”

Natasha brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes.  He continued his ramblings, oblivious to their presence.  Natasha sat down in the seat beside him and took hold of his hand.  

“ _You’re safe here,”_ she said softly in Russian. _“Go to sleep.”_

 

* * *

 

 

_He had been hanging in the silo for at least two days judging by the number of people who had changed shifts.  His arm ached and the half healed burns on his skin itched terribly.  The sharp edges of the restraints dug into the skin of his wrist.  The metal one felt nothing, but the weight of his body pulled at the shoulder.  No one had touched him for days, not even to feed him or give him water.  Guards stood ready to shoot him if he tried to escape._

_He remembered the machine, he remembered the words.  He also remembered telling the handler to go fuck himself, before he ripped the man’s spleen out with his left hand.  He did not wish to comply.  They would kill him eventually, but he didn’t care.  He did not wish to comply._

_The Soldier watched as the door opened and a well dressed man entered.  One more lamb to the slaughter._

_“Mr. Pierce,” a young scientist said, standing up and straightening his bowtie.  “Hail HYDRA."_

_“Hail HYDRA, Doctor.”_

_The one called Pierce came to stand in front of him, studying him carefully.  The Soldier stared back at him.  This man was nothing but the latest in a long string of handlers who had put him into service. He would be the last.  The Soldier no longer wished to be of service.  He just wanted it all to stop.  He was ready for death._

_“How long has he been on ice?” Pierce asked._

_“Four years,”the Scientist answered.  “He was left out of cryofreeze too long last time and became violent.  He killed his handler and three technicians before he was subdued.  After that, it was decided the Winter Soldier Project should be decommissioned.  We’ve had a difficult time controlling him since Dr. Zola passed away, and lately it’s become almost impossible.”_

_“You know who he is, don’t you?” Pierce asked._

_“Yes sir,” the Scientist answered  “The prevailing theory is that he was afraid of Dr. Zola, and that helped keep him in check.  Freezing him helped delay the degeneration, but it’s just going to get worse.  We’ve tried three times to wipe him and reprogram him.  He’s resisting.  The last time he killed two guards before they managed to get him in the machine.”_

_“I’ve been reading his file,” Pierce said, giving the Soldier an appraising look. “Zola’s attempts at mind control and conditioning were revolutionary for their time, but the effects are mostly temporary.  They tell me you have an idea.”_

_The Scientist nodded. “Well, going off of the Zola theory, I believe we can get him to imprint on a handler, like a baby duck.  The machine helps to suppress his memory, but there is some residual base consciousness.  He retains his skills and the code implants, so we know he’s trainable.  I think, if we condition him to have a base level response to a handler, just like he was trained to respond to the code, it would give us an extra level of control.  It would require someone to be assigned to the position long term, and I recommend we use two just in case we need a back up.  Also reconditioning at regular intervals.  The effects will still wear off, but we can stay ahead of that if we plan properly.”_

_The Soldier watched Pierce as he walked around the room, looking at displays and equipment.  He gestured to the Soldier.  “May I?”_

_“I would recommend that you don’t get too close,” the Scientist said._

_Pierce stood in front of the Soldier.  “I’ve been wondering why Zola chose someone so obstinate for such a project, but then I realized, this is the core of HYDRA, to have total control over even the most destructive forces.  Release him.”_

_The technicians lowered him to the ground.  His legs folded underneath him, weak from hunger and disuse.  Slowly he stood.  This was a trap and he needed to wait for an opportunity._

_“Sit in the chair,” Pierce ordered._

_“No.” He hated the chair.  Every time they put him in it, it felt as though they were ripping out a part of his mind._

_Pierce frowned disapprovingly.  “I can have you put in the chair, but I’d like for you to sit down.”_

_“Go fuck yourself,” the Soldier spat._

_Pierce backhanded him and he lunged.  The guards were on him before he could even reach Pierce.  One shoved an electric baton against his neck. He fell to the floor, shaking violently.  The other held his hands behind his back and kicked him in the side repeatedly until he felt a rib crack._

_“Stop.” Pierce instructed.  They moved away.  The Soldier made no move to attack. “Get in the chair.  I won’t ask again.”_

_The Soldier shook his head.  They could beat him all they wanted, the chair was worse.  If he pushed them far enough, maybe they would kill him and it would be over._

_“Throw him in a cell,” Pierce ordered.  “Give him some time to consider his position.”_

_They wrestled him down the hall.  He headbutted one of them and kicked the other in the stomach.  Six more soldiers came to help subdue him.  They grabbed him and threw him against the wall. The back of his head cracked against the concrete, stunning him long enough for them to drag him into a small cell at the end of the corridor.  They shoved him in and his head collided with the wall.  He fell to the floor and slipped into the blackness._

 

* * *

 

 

Steve carried Bucky into the house and set him gently on the couch.  Halfway home, he had started screaming at something only he could see.  Clint had quickly activated a gas arrow, which had stunned him enough for Sam to inject a more effective sedative. 

Sharon corralled everyone into the dining room to give them some privacy while Steve, Sam and Natasha discussed their next move.

“Did you identify the man?” Steve asked.

Natasha shook her head. “Still working on it.”  She had run facial recognition but there were no matches for the corpse in the bow tie.

“What was he saying?” Sam asked.

“I only caught the last thing he said, ‘kill the Black Widow’.”  She paused. “Steve, I think that might have been the trigger phrase.”  

“Damn it,” he whispered.

“This could be bad Steve.” Natasha said.  “We have no idea how to unprogram him.”

“In Berlin he just woke up like nothing had happened,” Sam said.

“If he was going to snap out of it, I think it would have happened by now,” Natasha pointed out.

“Ok, why hasn’t it then?” Sam asked.

Natasha shook her head. “I don’t know.” She thought for a moment about the way Bucky had reacted.  “I zapped him, I had to, but we know that they used electroshock on him to disrupt his memory. The shock might have scrambled his brain.”

“You’re saying he could be stuck like this,” Steve said.

“Maybe,” Natasha admitted.

Steve clenched his fist.  Natasha could almost see the vein popping out of his forehead.

“Steve, we’ve talked about this,” she said calmly.  “This is the worst case scenario, that’s why you had me shadowing him.”

“Then where the hell were you?” Steve demanded.

Natasha drew back.  He was right.  She should have been there.

“What do we do?” Sam asked before Steve could say anything else.

“We can’t leave him alone,” Steve said.  

“We can’t put him in your room either,” Natasha stressed.  “If he wakes up half out of his mind, he could kill someone.”

“The basement,” Steve said reluctantly.  “It’s basically a panic room and most of the walls are padded.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked.  “Locking him in a dark room might trigger some nasty stuff.”

“I think that’s already happened,” Natasha argued.  “If he were lucid, he’d tell us to make sure he couldn’t hurt anyone.”

“OK,” Sam agreed. “We’ll watch him.  You get everyone and clear out anything that he could hurt himself with.”

Natasha went to the dining room, pausing outside the door to collect herself.  Wanda and Scott were still relatively inexperienced and would be looking to her for guidance about how to handle this.  She forced a slight smile and stepped into the dining room.  She could tell Sharon had been doing the same thing for several minutes.  Clint had his feet up, casually examining his arrows as though the whole situation were normal.  Scott and Wanda seemed edgy, but no more than was to be expected.

“We’re going to put Bucky in the basement for now,” Natasha told them.  “We need to go down and clear it of anything that he could hurt himself with. We need to do it quickly, so I need everyone to help.”

“What exactly should we be looking for?” Wanda asked.

“Anything he could beat, stab, cut, or hang someone with,” Scott said.  “Aside from the obvious knives and other sharp weapons, look for anything that could be broken and turned into a sharp point or edge, hard plastics, metal objects, rocks, glass or anything that he could tear up and use as a rope.”

Natasha looked at Scott with genuine surprise.  Perhaps she had misjudged his crisis management skills.

“I spent three years in prison,” he reminded everyone. “I know how to make a shiv.”

“Ok, Scott, you’re in charge of clearing out the basement,” Natasha ordered.  “I need to check with Sam and Steve and I’ll join you in a minute.”

Sharon and Wanda followed Scott downstairs.  Clint hung back.  

“Did we do a background check before we signed him up?” he asked.

Natasha laughed humorlessly.

“You ok?”

“Oh yeah," she said. "I took him down before he could get a hand on me."

“That’s not what I meant.”

Natasha tapped her fingers on the table.  “I was supposed to be watching him.  He’s been doing so well that I forgot I was his babysitter and started treating him like a partner.  I shouldn’t have left his side.”

“If you’d been there, you would have gotten sonic blasted right along with them,” Clint said.  “Blaming yourself isn’t going to help.”  He took her by the shoulder and turned her towards the door.  “What will help is clearing that basement out before the last round of sedatives wears off.”

Natasha followed him down to the basement, pausing at the door to look at Bucky’s limp form.  He would be alright.  He had come too far to let this be it.

 

* * *

 

 

_The Soldier screamed as the Colonel pressed the red-hot iron against his stomach.  The flesh crackled as he struggled against his restraints.  He was suspended by his hands and his feet had been tied to a cement block on the floor.  The pain started to subside as the iron cooled, but it still burned.  He struggled to catch his breath, panting through clenched teeth.  The Colonel removed the poker and grabbed a fresh one from the hot coals, waving it slowly in front of the Soldier’s eyes._

_“I’ve never lost an eye, but I hear it’s quite an unsettling experience."_

_The Soldier following the glowing tip.  The heat from the iron began to dry the moisture from his eye.  He wanted desperately to close his eyes, but such a show of cowardice would only prolong the session.  He gritted his teeth, steeling himself for what was to come.  Would they even be able to use him if he lost an eye?_

_The Colonel drew back and thrust the poker against the tender skin of his neck.  The Soldier tried to twist away from it, howling in pain.  The Colonel removed the hot poker and pressed it against his underarm.  The Soldier screamed, tears running down his face.  He hung there, writhing in agony and gasping for breath as the Colonel threw the poker back into the coals._

_“Lucky for you, they only gave me two, Soldier,” he said.  “We’ll have to wait for them to heat up again before we continue.”_

_The Soldier bit his lip, trying to breathe through the pain as he waited for it to begin again.  His burns would heal quickly, but they were going to draw the pain out as long as possible.  He couldn’t remember what he had done, only the chair and the words, but they were angry.  This might be the first step of his execution.  Some days he longed for death, but he would have liked it to be quick._

_The Colonel removed a glowing poker from the coal.  “Shall we resume?”_

* * *

 

 

Steve sat at the bottom of the stairs watching Bucky carefully. Natasha had set up a camera so they could monitor him from upstairs, but Steve prefered to be with him.  It had been two days since Atlanta and Bucky had shown no signs of improvement.  His behavior had been violent and erratic.  One minute he would be huddled in a corner muttering gibberish, the next he would violently attack the padded wall, only to fall to his knees moments later, screaming and holding his head in his hands.  It wasn’t the first time Steve had seen Bucky in a delusional state, though it had never lasted this long.  He hoped that his presence might help bring Bucky around. He had broken through the programming once already, maybe he could do it again.

At the moment, Bucky was on the floor. He leaned against the wall with his knees to his chest, occasionally muttering in Russian.  Slowly, Steve approached, trying to give Bucky enough space to not feel trapped.  He had made that mistake once already. He knelt down, and set a water bottle and an energy bar in front of Bucky.  Bucky had not eaten since before the mission, but he refused to touch anything they had offered him.  Usually he just stared at it distrustfully.

Bucky looked at the food and then at Steve. His vacant expression sharpened, and for a moment, Steve thought he might be coming around.  Then he lunged, striking out at Steve.  Steve blocked and jumped to his feet.  Bucky’s eyes were cold and vicious.  His attacks were wild and erratic, almost as if he didn’t care whether or not they connected.  He was lashing out like a beaten dog, glaring at Steve with a cold rage that lacked any sense of humanity.  

Steve blocked a strike and turned to run.  There was nothing to be gained by fighting; it would only end with one of them getting hurt.  He reached the stairs, but Bucky grabbed him from behind, wrapping an arm around his neck.  He growled something in Russian as he tightened his grip, squeezing Steve’s throat.  Gasping for breath, Steve elbowed him hard in the ribs and turned, punching him in the jaw.  Bucky dropped to the ground.  Steve backed towards the stairs, ready to run, but Bucky started screaming.  He scrambled against the wall, huddling there for protection from some unseen assailant.  

“Chto ya sdelal? Perestan', pozhaluysta!  Prosti! Prosti!”

“Bucky?”

“YA budu otvechat'!”

Steve backed away.  Bucky didn’t seem to see him.  Steve retreated to the stairs as Natasha came running down.

“I’m ok,” he assured her.

“Really?” she asked, looking at Bucky.  “Because he threatened to make you eat your eyeballs.”

Steve rubbed his throat.  “What’s he saying now?”

“What did I do? Stop please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  I will comply.”

Steve leaned against the wall and buried his head in his hands.  Natasha squeezed his shoulder.  “Go get something to eat, I’ll take over.”

“No, I can-”

“He just tried to kill you,” Natasha said firmly.  “Take a break and let him settle down.”

Steve nodded.  She was right.  She always was with things like this. He went upstairs and sank heavily into the couch, the look in Bucky’s eyes burned into his mind. This was different from when Bucky had attacked him before.  There had been no animosity then, only a mechanical efficiency.  Now, he was going for the kill.

A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his thoughts.  Sharon sat down beside him and handed him a plate.  

“Scott took Bucky’s turn for dinner, so I made you a sandwich.  I was going to bring it to you until Nat went running downstairs.”

Steve picked it up and took a bite.  It was peanut butter and jelly, but he barely tasted it.  He wasn’t hungry, but Sharon would keep on him until he ate something.

“It’s bad isn’t it?” she asked quietly.

Steve rubbed his neck. “He just attacked me. Not even trying to defend himself, he just lashed out.”

“Are you ok?” Sharon said.

Steve nodded.  “I fought him off, but then he started cowering against the wall like he was terrified of me.  He looked right at me and didn’t seem to know who I was.  It was like he wasn’t even talking to me, more like a ghost that just happened to be standing where I was.”

Sharon put her arm around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t know how to help him, Sharon,” Steve admitted.

“Well you can’t do anything if you don’t eat,” she said. “Finish your sandwich.”

 

* * *

 

 

_The door had been left open.  He should have known it would be a test, but days, maybe weeks, of pain and sleep deprivation had made him desperate for a way out.  They had been waiting and he landed right back where he had been, half naked and freezing on the cold floor, this time with his arms bound behind his back._

_Pierce entered the cell.  The Soldier struggled to his knees but fought the urge to lash out.  Attacking Pierce never helped him.  Food only came when Pierce did and it had been days since he had seen Pierce.  If he wanted to be fed this time, he needed to behave._

_“I don’t know what you hoped to accomplish by running,” Pierce said.  “You belong with HYDRA. Your purpose is with us. HYDRA wants order and we reward obedience.  Disobedience will only make the pain last longer._

_The soldier nodded his head to show he understood.  It had been a stupid thing to do._

_Pierce turned to the Colonel.  “Make sure he learns his lesson, Col Karpov.”_

_“Hail HYDRA,” Karpov said as Pierce retreated.  The Soldier found a last reserve of energy and got to his feet, backing away from the door.  Nothing Karpov did was ever good._

_“Good morning Soldier,” he said.  “That little stunt made our leader angry.  You will comply or you will suffer.  Remember that this is what happens when you try to run.”_

_The Soldier looked at the open door and back at Karpov.  Every instinct was telling him to flee, but running had brought Karpov here.  If he tried again, things would only get worse.  Once he had thought death would be a release, now he realized he would never be allowed that pleasure.  He shut his eyes, standing at ease as Karpov strode toward him, a metal baton in his hand.  If they could find someone worse, the Soldier didn’t want to meet him.  Better to endure Karpov than to risk angering Pierce further._

_Karpov swung the baton, striking a cracked rib.  He screamed and fell to his knees, gasping for breath.  Karpov grabbed his hair and yanked his head back.  He jabbed the Soldier in the face with the butt of the baton, striking the cheek bone just below his right eye.  The Soldier struggled to recover as Karpov struck him again, and again, beating him until he collapsed on the ground._

_Karpov called in two men to carry the Soldier.  They picked him up by his feet and dragged him down the hall, letting his face drag along the cold damp floor.  They dragged him into a room and dropped him.  For a moment he lay there, trying to breathe through the pain of the broken rib._

_He didn’t bother to resist as his hands were unbound and he was strapped to a medical table.  The grit from the floor rubbed against the vinyl, scratching at his already raw skin.  He felt a bit of warmth running down his cheek and onto his neck.  When it reached his chest, he realized it was his blood.  The Scientist with the bow tie tightened his restraints and cleaned the inside of his right elbow._

_“This is what happens when you run,” Karpov said._

_The Soldier felt his stomach turn as he realized that his punishment had not even begun.  He craned his neck to see what they were doing.  The Scientist had a bag of saline attached to the pole.  He slid the needle into the soldier’s arm.  It stung, but the soldier felt nothing after that._

_“Is it in?” Karpov asked._

_“Yes,” the Scientist confirmed._

_“Then proceed.”_

_The Soldier watched as the Scientist injected the bag with an orange liquid.  It swirled through the bag, mixing with the saline and dripping into the tube.  As it hit his bloodstream, he could feel it burning._

_“This is a new drug I’m developing for interrogation,” the Scientist explained.  “It takes a minute to kick in, but once it does-,”_

_The Soldier screamed as the drug surged through his body, burning him from the inside.  It felt like millions of knives on fire were cutting their way out of his body._

_“Your place is here Soldier,” Karpov said calmly in Russian as the Soldier writhed in agony.  “You are HYDRA’s tool to build a new world.  We cannot do this without you, but you must obey.  If you cannot obey, you are useless.  Useless tools are cast aside.  If you want to be useful you must obey.  HYDRA demands order and order comes through pain.  If you will not give us order, we will give you pain.”_

_Karpov continued as the drug burned through his body.  The soldier screamed until his throat was raw and there was no sound left but Karpov’s methodical sermon.  He would never try to run again.  He would be useful.  He was needed.  He would obey._

* * *

 

 

Natasha sat on the edge of the stairs, not moving, but ready to run.  Bucky had been mostly quiet for the last couple of hours, but he showed no signs of coming around.  When he did talk, his voice was raw and dry.  It had been days since he had had anything to drink.  Natasha looked at the water bottle in her hand.  

All the things she had heard him say over the last few days sounded like he was being tortured, but it occurred to her that it might be more than that.  She had experienced similar treatment in the Red Room.  Unquestioning obedience had been the most important lesson of her childhood.  It had been the hardest thing to learn and the hardest to unlearn.  It had not been uncommon for them to be denied food or water as punishment, and to sneak it when it had been forbidden was an even greater transgression.

Slowly, so as not to startle him, she approached.  In a slow, smooth motion, she knelt down in front of Bucky and set the bottle of water down within his reach.

“ _Drink Soldier,_ ” she said in Russian.  She didn’t know how they had addressed him back then, but it was as good a guess as any.  Bucky made no move to reach for the bottle.

“ _You have earned this.  Drink.  This is a reward for your obedience._ ”  

She stood up and stepped back, just in case he decided to attack.  He watched her cautiously before grabbing the bottle and sucking it down as quickly as he could.  Letting the bottle fall to the floor, he sat with his back against the wall, watching her as she returned to her perch on the stairs.  

 

* * *

 

 

_There was no way to know how long he had been in the cell.  He tried to sleep, but they left the lights on and it was cold.  He was used to the cold, but that didn’t make it any more tolerable._

_The door opened and Pierce entered.  He looked around the room and then back at the Soldier.  He set a canteen on the floor.  The soldier eyed it suspiciously, wondering if it could be another test of his restraint._

_“Go ahead, I’m sure you’re thirsty,” Pierce said._

_The Soldier grabbed the canteen and drank it without pausing to breathe.  He closed his eyes, letting the last drops hang on his tongue for a moment._

_“I imagine this is uncomfortable,” Pierce continued.  The soldier didn’t answer.  It wasn’t a question.  “I take no pleasure in this, but you aren’t giving me much of a choice.  I need you to sit in the chair.  Once you do that, we can put an end to this.”_

_He didn’t answer.  If he refused directly, they would find a way to make this worse.  He didn’t want to sit in the chair, but he didn’t know how much longer he could endure without sleep or food._

_“Do you know why we’re doing this?” Pierce asked, ignoring his silence._

_“Because you’re a sadistic nancy boy?” the Soldier snarled, regretting the words even as they left his mouth._

_Pierce backhanded him across the face.  Exhausted, and weak from hunger, the Soldier lost his balance and fell to the floor._

_“We’re doing this because we need you,” Pierce continued in a velvety tone as though nothing had happened.  “HYDRA has a vision for the world.  We want you to be a part of that, but first, I need you to understand your place.”_

_The Soldier lay on the cold floor, barely moving.  He ached, he was shivering, he was tired, and hungry, and cold, and this man was prattling on about his place in the grand scheme of things.  He was at the bottom._

_“Your work for HYDRA has changed the course of history," Pierce continued.  "HYDRA is trying to build a better world, but there are obstacles that stand in our way.  We need your help to remove them.  We want to free humanity from chaos and disorder, but we need your help.  You will light the fire to cleanse the world of the filth, so that something better can take it’s place.”_

_The Soldier lifted his head, studying Pierce warily.  They needed him to help free the world?  He had never been needed before, only used._

_“Unfortunately you’re no use to us the way you are now.”  Pierce crouched down in front of him, his smooth voice caressing the soldiers ears. “HYDRA needs order and that starts with you.  If we can’t control our fist, we can’t bring order to the world.  Without order there can be no freedom.  We can change the world for the better, but only if you help us.  And if you want to help us, you need to obey.”_

_The Soldier looked at him.  Help them change the world?_

_Pierce stood up.  “I’ll let you think about what I’ve said.”_

_As he left, someone slid a tray of food into the Soldier’s cell.  He attacked it.  It was cold and flavorless, but it was the first thing they had given him to eat since he had been in here.  His empty stomach revolted, but he fought to keep it down.  There was no telling when he would be fed again._

_As he ate, he reflected on Pierce's words. Up to now, his existence had been a pointless stretch of agony, but perhaps there was a reason for it all.  He didn’t know why, but the idea that he was helping to free the world seemed right.  For the first time that he could remember, he felt a stir of pride.  He was needed._

 

* * *

 

 

Wanda lay on the couch, half watching the video feed on the tablet. She had been given monitor duty so that the others could get some rest. Steve had barely slept since Atlanta and had spent most of his time downstairs with Bucky.  Sharon had insisted that he get some rest, going so far as to slip a sedative in his dinner. Natasha and Sam usually took over, but they had gotten almost as little sleep as Steve had the past few days.  Clint had gone home yesterday, so the job fell to her.

She tried not to watch too much; she knew better than most what horrors haunted his mind.  His nightmares were disturbing enough, but what he was seeing now must be horrendous. It was common for her to pick up glimpses of his emotions, but even in his darkest moments, it had never felt like this.  What she felt now was raw and turbulent.

She looked at the tablet to check on him.   He was huddled in the corner muttering to himself in Russian.  She turned up the volume to listen.  She knew the words but they made no sense.

“ _Something better_ ,” he muttered.  “ _Order, obey, ice, not the ice._ ”  He looked up at the ceiling.  “ _Pain brings order.  I sat in the chair!_ ”

Wanda threw the tablet on the couch and hurried to the basement.  She couldn’t stand to see him like this any longer.  She and Scott had been ordered not to go down alone, but she might be able to help him if he would let her.  She at least had to try.

“Bucky?”  she called, as she eased down the stairs.  He gave no sign that he had heard her.  Wanda felt a lump in her throat as she peered at the edge of his mind.  He was in agony.  She didn’t want to intrude, but he had been locked inside his head for days.  Unless something was done, he might be trapped in there forever.

Kneeling down a few feet away, she reached out and touched his mind. An intense cold sensation made her draw back, but she focused and pressed on. The cold faded into a tingling feeling that started to burn. Suddenly she felt a pressure on her arms as though red-hot iron chains had wrapped around them.

Wanda screamed and fell back, clutching her head.  She felt a burning sensation in her stomach, that threatened to tear her apart.  She continued screaming as a torrent of images assaulted her mind.  There was no order or logic to what she saw, just a jumble of pain and torment.  She tried to sever the connection but it was like she was caught in a rip current.  Bucky was reaching out, frantic for help, but he would drag her down with him if she couldn’t break free.

“Wanda!” she heard Steve cry through the maelstrom of Bucky's thoughts. With the last of her strength, she reached out and forced Bucky into a deep sleep.  The flood of emotions ceased, and she fell into Steve’s arms.  He carried her upstairs as she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

 

 

_The Soldier stood in the chamber.  He knew better than to move unless ordered.  If he did what they wanted, the pain would stop.  If he obeyed, he would be useful._

_“Get in the chair.” Karpov ordered in Russian._

_The Soldier looked at it.  He hated the chair, but it was the key to stopping this torment.  If he sat in it, if he obeyed, they would have no reason to punish him.  Obedience brought reward.  Slowly he stepped forward and sat down._

_“Good, Soldier.” Karpov said.  He held out the mouthguard.  “Open your mouth.”_

_The Soldier snarled.  He had complied with their request and they asked more of him._

_“No good,” Pierce said.  “We need total obedience.  Put him through it again.”_

_The Soldier felt his chest constrict as several men came toward him.  He looked to Pierce for help, bewildered by the betrayal.  He had obeyed them.  Pierce waved the men back and sat down on a stool, eye level with the Soldier._

_“Do you understand why you’re going to be punished?” he asked gently in English._

_The Soldier shook his head. “I sat in the chair,” he said in a pleadingly voice._

_“That’s not enough,” Pierce chided him.  “You can’t choose which orders to obey.  If you are going to help us, you need to obey without question or hesitation, even if you’re asked to do something that makes you uncomfortable.  This is for your own good.  You can’t hesitate because you’re afraid.  You need to overcome that fear.  Only then, can you help us give the world its freedom.”_

_The Soldier nodded, his breath coming in short gasps at the thought of what was to come._

_“We’ll try again. If you learn your lesson this time, this can be over,” Pierce said patiently in English, like a father gently scolding a child. Pierce always spoke English, which the Soldier found strangely comforting.  The Soldier nodded.  He would obey this time._

_The men moved forward to restrain him, but Karpov stopped them._

_“You know where to go, Soldier,” he said in Russian.  “Move.”_

_Gritting his teeth, the Soldier walked back toward the chamber.  The men marched ahead of him to open the door.  The room had a sunken floor filled with icy water.  In the middle was a tiny block just large enough for him to stand on._

_“Enter,” Karpov ordered.  The Soldier obeyed, wading through the icy water to stand on the block.  “Put your hands behind your back and don’t move.”_

_The Soldier obeyed. He would comply this time.  He would not give them a reason to punish him again.  He would endure the pain and he would not let fear cloud his mind.  He was needed._

* * *

 

 

Wanda opened her eyes. Everyone was gathered around her bed, half asleep, but watching her with concern.  She sat up, shaking.

“Easy,” Natasha said, holding a glass of water to her lips.  “You’ve been out for over an hour.”

“Is he ok?” Wanda asked.

“He was still sleeping last time I checked,” Sam told her.  “Probably needs it anyway.”

“I thought I could help,” she said.

“Tell me what you saw,” Steve said softly.  There was no anger in his voice, only concern.

“I don’t know,” she said.  “Just pain, confusion, chaos.”  Her mind cleared a bit.  “Pierce?”

“Alexander Pierce?” Sharon asked.  “Head of HYDRA?”

Wanda nodded.  “Whatever they did, it was him, and the man from Atlanta, and someone else called Karpov.”

“Well, that narrows the time frame,” Natasha said.

Wanda winced. “Everything is just static."

“Well that’s a start,” Steve said.  He sat down on the end of her bed.  “Wanda, I know you were trying to help, but you need to stay out of Bucky’s head.  Under the circumstances, I think he’d forgive the intrusion, but it’s not safe.”

Wanda nodded.  The movement made her dizzy and she lay back down.  “We talk sometimes at night and I thought I’d heard all his nightmares.  I never thought any of it would be this bad.  They treated him like an animal.  Worse even.”

“Get some rest,” Natasha said.  "I think you’ve been punished enough for disobeying orders, so we’ll let this go. "

Wanda nodded as she drifted into a fitful sleep.

* * *

 

 

_The Soldier felt his eyes drift closed as fatigue won out. The next thing he knew he was immersed in icy water.  Awake again, he jumped back on the block, shivering and swaying as he tried to fight the urge to sleep.  That was the 4th time in the last hour that he had fallen.  Each time the water would wake him up, but it was becoming more difficult to stay alert.  He had no way to know how long he had been in there, but he was ready to do anything they asked if they would only let him sleep._

_The door opened.  Karpov was outside waiting for him.  The Soldier wondered if this punishment was finally at an end or if Karpov had just come to taunt him.  Whichever it was, he knew he would not be able to endure much longer._

_“Exit the room.” Karpov ordered._

_Struggling to keep his footing, the Soldier stepped off the block and waded through the icy water toward the door.  He braced himself as he exited, expecting this to be a trick, but nothing happened.  Breathing a sigh of relief, he was led to his cell and shoved roughly inside.  He stumbled and fell to the floor.  If they wanted to beat him, they would have to beat him on the ground.  Karpov locked the door and left him alone.  It was cold and his entire body ached, but exhaustion won out and he closed his eyes._

_He couldn’t say how long he slept, but he was jolted out of his slumber as men hauled him to his feet.  He swayed, still groggy and exhausted from his ordeal.  Karpov stood in the doorway._

_“Put your hands behind your back and do not move,” he ordered._

_The Soldier complied, closing his eyes to brace himself for what was to come.  Karpov allowed him this small mercy.  The Soldier struggled to remain standing as the first blows landed.  He was not permitted to sit during this, and if he fell, he was expected to stand again.  It was easier to stay on his feet, no matter how difficult.  He gasped as he felt a rib break, but he did not move.  The rib would heal.  This pain was nothing compared to what they could do if he did not comply.  Order only came through pain.  He would embrace the pain._

* * *

 

 

“I got a hit from the facial recognition," Natasha said, handing Steve her tablet. "I had to scan deep, but it picked up a photograph from HYDRA’s files.  No name, no details, but I’m pretty sure he worked with the Winter Soldier.” 

Steve rubbed his forehead.  “I thought all of the Winter Soldier personnel were accounted for.”

“Well, obviously we missed one.” Natasha frowned and looked closely at the picture. “That’s Vasily Karpov.  According to the information the CIA got from Zemo, he was the Winter Soldier’s handler from the late 80’s on.  Our corpse is there with him.  Looks like a scientist.”

“We could really use that book right about now,” Sam said.  “It might give us some clue what we’re dealing with.”

“Well since we don’t, I went back through the HYDRA files from the mid 80’s when Pierce joined up.  I also went through Bucky’s journals.”

“He’s not going to like that,” Steve warned her.

“Save me the speech. We should have done that days ago,” Natasha said.  She handed Steve a notepad.  “He’s been working on a timeline of his missions.  I filled in some of the blanks and I noticed a larger than usual gap between missions during the early to mid 80’s followed by a spur of activity.  I read through the reports and found references to a malfunctioning Asset from the late 70’s up through that period.”

“So he started to crack and they had to retrain him?” Sam guessed.

Natasha nodded.  “I couldn’t find any details about that, but I’m sure it wasn’t pretty.”

“Well we know what we’re dealing with now,” Steve said.  “We still need to snap him out of it.”

Natasha sighed.  “We could ask Wanda to try again."

"No," Steve said emphatically.  "She barely managed to escape last time.  I'm not going to risk loosing them both."

Natasha nodded.  "Alright, let me know when you get a better idea."

* * *

 

 

_The food was hot. It almost burned his tongue as he ate. He couldn’t remember ever eating hot food, but he had passed the test this time.  The door had been left open and he had stayed.  He had even fallen asleep, secure in the knowledge that he had done the right thing._

_He ate slowly, savoring the meal.  Too many times he had made himself sick by eating too fast, afraid that it might be taken away.  He had learned now that food was a privilege to be earned.  Each action brought its own punishment or reward.  They would deny him food, but they would never take away what he had earned.  HYDRA kept their promises.  Order required obedience and obedience was rewarded._

_Pierce stood in front of him as he ate his meal.  “You’ve done well,” he said._

_His words made the Soldier feel warm.  They were pleased with him and he had been rewarded.  He set down his fork for a moment, searching for the courage to ask a question that had bothered him for days._

_“Why do they hurt me when I don’t do anything wrong?” he asked quietly.  It was a risky question.  He wanted to know, but questioning them was dangerously close to disobedience._

_“You’re being tested,” Pierce told him gently.  “It’s a harsh world we’re asking you to face.  If you break in here, then you’re no use to us out there.  But if you show us you can endure, then you can be the asset that HYDRA needs.”_

_Asset. The Soldier felt a swell of pride. He was an asset.  He had value.  He would endure and become an asset to HYDRA. If they needed him, they would not throw him away.  More than the chair, more than the beating and torture, he feared the ice.  The same thought always occurred to him as he felt the cold flash through him; ‘What if I don’t wake up?’_

_This meager existence, as painful and wretched as it was, was all he had.  If he did what was asked of him, his waking hours would be meaningful and he would be rewarded. If he was an asset, if they needed him, they would wake him up._

_He returned to his meal, satisfied with the answer.  HYDRA had a purpose for him. Anything they did to him was in service of that purpose.  He would endure the pain.  He would fulfill his purpose._

* * *

 

 

Steve sifted through the pile of assorted metal objects, trying to figure out which ones they could throw away.  The dining room table was cluttered with things that had been displaced when they cleared out the basement.  With no end in sight, Sharon had decided it was time to pack it up and reclaim their eating space.

“I still don’t understand why we had to take the pad of paper,” Wanda said, setting it in a pile of items to take to the study.  “The pens I understand, but how is he going to hurt himself with paper?”

“Well if you roll it tight enough with a point, you can make a pretty decent projectile,” Scott told her.

“No way,” Wanda said skeptically.

“Seriously,” Scott insisted.  “I mean, I don’t know the trick to it, but the guy in the cell across the hall from me the first year got sent to max because he made a spear type thing and fired it at us with the elastic band from his underwear.”

Sam stared at him, eyes wide.  “No kidding.”

“Yeah, it hit my cellmate Luis in the ass,” Scott told them.  “Honestly I think he did it just so he could get moved away from Luis.  Nice guy, but he never shuts up.”

Wanda laughed as she picked up a tangled ball of rope.  She tried to pull it, but it only knotted more.

“Find one end and work from there,” Steve suggested.  Wanda stopped, staring at the rope in amazement

“I know what to do." Dropping the rope, she ran for the basement.

“Wanda!” Natasha ran to stop her but she held Natasha’s feet in place, tripping her.

Steve ran after her but she was already through the door.  She slammed it shut and threw the deadbolt.

“Wanda!" Steve yelled, banging on the door.  “Stop!  It's too dangerous!”

“He can’t make sense of it!” she cried.  “The electric shock scrambled his mind and he can’t think straight.  If I can just put things in order, he’ll be able to process them.”

Steve beat on the door.  Wanda had already tried to go into Bucky’s mind once and ended up unconscious for an hour.  Until they knew more about what they were dealing with, it was too risky.  One wrong move and they could lose them both.  

“Scott, can you get this open?” he asked.

Scott ran over to the door and Steve backed away to let him work.  It had been designed as a panic room when Peggy had set up the safe house.  Their only hope was that Scott might be able to unlock it.  Sharon took his hand, whether to comfort him or as a warning to stay back, he wasn’t sure.

Scott surveyed the door quickly and left for a moment, returning with a drill.  “Sam, get my suit.  It’s bolted from the other side, but if I can drill a hole, I can go in small and unlock it from the other side.”

Steve squeezed Sharon’s hand as Scott set to work.

* * *

 

 

_The Soldier stood in front of the chair.  He would not fail again.  If he wanted to help HYDRA change the world, he needed to push through his fear.  The chair terrified him, but the pain he had been through over the past weeks made him stand firm.  He had failed to comply and he had suffered for it.  He had learned his lesson.  HYDRA needed order.  They needed him.  He would not fail again._

_“Sit in the chair,” Karpov ordered._

_The Soldier stepped forward and sat down.  He knew what came next but he was ready.  The Scientist with the bow tie held out the mouth guard._

_“Open your mouth,” Karpov instructed._

_Breathing fast, the soldier complied.  He knew the pain that was coming, but he also knew the pain that would come if he didn’t submit.  He looked at Pierce. He nodded to let the Soldier know he was doing the right thing. He was needed. The pain was necessary for him to be an asset to HYDRA. He bit down on the hard plastic as the technicians strapped him into the chair.  The paddles pressed down on his face.  He screamed as he felt the current surge through his head._

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky screamed in agony, holding his head in his hands.  Over the pained cries, Wanda heard the sound of a drill boring into the heavy door.  Her time was limited.  

Taking a deep breath to focus her mind, she dove in.  Last time she had been caught off guard, shocked by the brutality and disorder.  The torment was nothing new to Bucky, but his thoughts were too wild for him to comprehend.  If she could help him focus and structure the memory, maybe he could come through it.  He had to.  She would not lose anyone else.

Bucky’s mind was a cluttered tangle of random thoughts.  She pulled back, trying to see the whole picture.  She sifted through the images, finally finding the one that had started it.  She flinched, feeling the burns and blows of Bucky’s memories, but held it firmly in place. She tried to find the next thought in the sequence, but they just slipped through her grasp like smoke.

“Bucky,” she said as he continued screaming.  “Bucky, you have to help me!  I can guide you, but I can’t do this for you.  Listen to my voice and try to focus on me.”

The screams died down to a whimper.

“I’ve found where it started,” she said.  “Go to that. You have to show me where to go!”

Suddenly she felt Bucky’s mind grab onto hers.  This time, rather than being pulled in, she felt the storm subside.  A flurry of memories flashed through her mind.  She recoiled at the horrors in front of her, but Bucky held her firm, not dragging her down, but keeping her where she was needed.

“You’re not in Siberia anymore,” she told him.  “You’re with us.  Please come back to us.”

Wanda felt the last of the memories slide into place as Bucky released her.  Scott appeared beside her, but it was done.  Bucky looked up at her, and for the first time in days, she saw a look of recognition in his eyes.  He tried to speak, but the words caught in his throat as the full weight of the memory hit him.  Strangled sobs escaped his throat.

“Scott, can you unlock the door for me?”  Wanda asked weakly.  She was too unsteady to stand right now.

He nodded and ran up the stairs.  She sat down in front of Bucky as the others rushed down the stairs.

“Wanda?” Steve asked.

“I’m sorry,” she said wearily.  “I had to.

Bucky looked at her, his eyes haunted and wild.  “What did you do to me?” he asked.

The accusation stung.  “I just helped you make sense of it,” she told him.

Bucky buried his head in his hand, sobbing.  “Why couldn’t you have let me forget?”

Sam knelt down to check him over.  “You guys go on up, I’ll sit with him for a while.

Wanda felt a lump in her throat as Natasha helped her off the floor and led her upstairs.

“He didn’t mean it like that,” she said quietly.  “He’s had a long week.”

Wanda glanced back at Bucky.  She shouldn’t expect him to be happy right now, but at least he was going to be alright.

* * *

 

 

Sam stood quietly as the others retreated upstairs.   Whatever Wanda had done had helped Barnes come to his senses, but this was far from over.  She had said that his memories were too scattered for him to comprehend, but Sam could tell that making sense of this was going to be a long process.  He took a bottle of Gatorade out of the refrigerator and handed it to Barnes.

“Drink that,” he said.  “You’ve been down here for almost a week and you’ve barely touched anything.”

Barnes took a few shaky breaths to ease his sobs and unscrewed the cap, sipping it slowly. Sam realized this was probably not his first experience being deprived of food or water for an extended period of time.  He sat down on the mat, far enough to give Barnes some space.

“How are you feeling?  You want something to eat?”

Barnes just shook his head.

“You didn't get anyone hurt. We had them under control and Natasha took you down pretty quickly,” Sam told him.  “And I’m pretty sure you saved my life before we got caught in the sonic blast.”

Barnes finished his drink.  “Can I get another?” he asked in a raspy voice.

Sam nodded and went to the refrigerator.

“They made me want to do it,” Barnes blurted out.  Sam’s hand froze on the door handle.  He looked back at Barnes.

“Who made you want to do what?” he asked, certain he didn’t want to hear the answer.

“HYDRA. Pierce. He wasn’t satisfied with just programming me like a robot, he had them,” Barnes’ voice faltered.  He took a deep breath and continued.  “He made me trust him.  He made me believe in what they were doing.  They gave me a purpose and I-” Barnes looked up, tears glistening in his eyes. “I loved them for it.”

Sam’s stomach felt hollow.  Swallowing, he went back to the mat and handed Barnes the bottle.  He listened carefully as Barnes detailed his time under Pierce's administration.  By the end of it, Sam felt like he needed a hot shower and a hug.  

“It went on for weeks,” Barnes sobbed.  “They barely let me sleep, half the time they didn’t feed me and when they did, they always gave me some speech about HYDRA trying to save the world.  It was-  no one had been kind to me in so long, I didn’t realize what they were doing.  They let me have my pride back and gave me something to live for. All I could think was that I wanted to please them.  As long as I was valuable, they would keep waking me up.”

“Is this one of those things that you were worried Steve wasn’t going to be able to deal with?” Sam asked.

Barnes nodded.  The look of shame in his eyes made Sam feel ill.

“Can you tell him for me?” Barnes pleaded.  “I can’t stand to see the look on his face.”

“It’s not going to change anything,” Sam told him.  “None of that’s your fault.  I don’t know anyone who could have held up under that.”

“I don’t think I could get through it if I had to watch him,” Barnes pleaded again.

Sam nodded.  “I’ll tell him. Do you need anything before I go?”

Barnes shook his head.

“Alright, come up when you’re ready.  We have a video feed, so if you need anything, just yell.”

Sam stood and headed upstairs.  Behind him, Barnes huddled against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest as he cried.

* * *

 

 

“Is he alright?” Steve asked when Sam finally came up.  

Sam walked past them without a word and took a beer out of the refrigerator.  He chugged half of it without pausing.  He stopped, took a deep breath, and finished the rest.  He opened another, drinking it more slowly this time.

“He’s lucid.” Sam said finally.  “That’s as good as we’re going to get right now.” 

Steve felt a wave of relief until he caught the look on Sam’s face.

“You and I need to talk right now,” Sam said urgently in a hushed voice.  He looked frightened and nauseated.  Steve noticed he was shaking.  He followed Sam into the den with Natasha close behind.

“Well let’s just everyone come,” Sam said.

“It’s my job to watch him,” she reminded them.  “I need to know what happened.”

“What is it Sam?” Steve asked.

“Ok, take the worst thing that entered your head when Wanda said Pierce, and just multiply that by infinity,” Sam said, taking a sip of his beer.

Steve listened quietly as Sam told them what Bucky had said.  By the end, Steve felt ill.  Thankfully, it had been hours since he had last eaten or he might have thrown up. Natasha had a hand over her mouth, stunned.  Steve knew very little about her past, but he knew that she had undergone extremely harsh training.  For her to be shocked said a lot.

“I should never have let him come on this one,” Steve said ruefully.  

“It’s not your fault Steve,” Natasha said,  She laid a hand on his shoulder.  “I should have stayed with him.”

“I just wasn’t prepared for something like this,” Steve admitted.  “When I found him in DC, I knew that to get him like that they must have done something extreme, but this is just-” he trailed off.  He knew he should be angry, but right now he just felt empty inside.

“You need to be patient with him,” Sam said.  He looked at Steve.  “You should probably wait a bit before you talk to him.  He’s worried about what you’re going to think.  You need to give him some time to work through it and you need to get your head straight before you sit down with him.  If you react the wrong way, it’s going to hurt him.”

Steve nodded.  “I’m going to go lie down for a while.”

He headed upstairs, barely able to keep his eyes open.  The wave of fatigue that he had been staving off for the past few days had finally hit him.  The whole situation was more than he could take in right now.  He needed to sleep.

He opened the door to his room, but without Bucky there, it felt lonely. He went into Sharon’s room and lay down on the bed, breathing in the scent of her sheets.   He closed his eyes, but suddenly his mind was awake, imaging everything Sam had described in vivid detail.

He was about to give up on sleep until he heard the door open.  Quietly, Sharon slipped in and lay down beside him.  She rested her head on his shoulder and curled an arm around his torso.  He held her close breathing in the fruity scent of her conditioner.

“What did he ever do to deserve that?” Steve asked her.  

He knew there wasn’t an answer, but he couldn’t help asking.  Sharon didn’t respond.  There was nothing anyone could say that would make this better.  

“It should have been me,” he said, feeling a tear slip down his cheek.  “Bucky never even wanted to go over.  I was the one who was so gung-ho to enlist.  It should have been me.”

Sharon snuggled closer, holding him tightly as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

Bucky climbed the stairs slowly.  He was unsteady from dehydration and lack of sleep.  He knew they would come down to check on him eventually, but he was starting to feel trapped in the basement.  It was too much like his memories. In the living room, he found Natasha lying on the couch, reading.

“Natasha?” he said, his voice cracking painfully in his throat.  She stood up slowly but didn’t approach him.

“Everyone else is asleep,” she told him.  “We’ve been taking shifts in case you decided to come up.”

“What time is it?”

“4 AM. Wednesday.  You’ve been down there about a week.”

Bucky sat down on the couch.  His muscles ached.

“Can I get you anything?” she asked.

“Gatorade,” he said weakly.

Natasha went to the kitchen, and returned with a bottle of Gatorade and a container of applesauce.  “If you feel like eating something.”

He took a sip from the bottle and peeled off the lid of the applesauce.  He was starving but he tried to eat it slowly.  

“You know, don’t you?” he said.  She always knew.

“Sam told me and Steve.”  She wrung her hands, dropping her eyes to the floor.  “We're pretty sure the electric shock from when I tased you was what caused this.  I’m sorry.”

“Never let me hurt anyone,” he said.  “No matter what you have to do.  No matter what happens to me.” He tried to keep his voice steady but the tears leaked out.

Hesitantly Natasha sat down on the other end of the couch.  

“Steve asked if I could handle this one,” Bucky told her, “and I meant it when I said yes. I could have. I was doing better.” A sob tore from his throat. “For five goddamn minutes I was actually doing better!”

Natasha put a hand on his shoulder, lightly at first, but then resting the full weight when he didn’t pull away.  She moved in and pulled him close.  Exhausted, he lay down with his head across her lap and cried himself to sleep.

* * *

 

 

_“Longing, Rusted, Seventeen, Daybreak, Furnace, Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Freightcar. Good Morning Soldier.”_

_His mind began to clear.  He couldn’t remember how, but he knew this man.  This man was in control. Obedience brought reward.  Disobedience brought pain. He was needed so long as he obeyed._

_“Are you ready to help HYDRA build a new world?” the man asked._

_“Ready to comply,” the Soldier acknowledged.  Compliance pleased them. Obedience brought reward._

_“Excellent,” the man praised him. The Soldier did not react but he felt a wave of relief.  He was useful. He was valued.  He was an asset to them._

_The man turned to the Colonel.  “Keep him out for a few weeks after the mission, see how long the conditioning holds.  When he starts to step out of line, call me and we’ll start over.”_

_The man left and the Colonel came forward with a folder.  “Your mission, Soldier. Hail HYDRA.”_

_The Soldier looked through the details, memorizing them quickly.  He handed the folder back to the Colonel._

_“Hail HYDRA.”_

* * *

 

 

Bucky awoke the next morning on the couch, his head still in Natasha’s lap.  She was curled up against the arm, sleeping soundly.  He heard muffled voices from the kitchen.  Gently, so as not to wake her, he stood up and went to the kitchen, pausing outside the door to see who was talking.  Steve was sitting at the island with his back to the door.  Sharon stood behind him with her hands on his shoulders.

“I wasn’t prepared for something this bad,” Steve said quietly.  

Sharon hugged Steve from behind, leaning her chin on his shoulder.  “I know this was rough but we’ll get through it.  He needs you right now.”

Steve leaned on the counter with this head in his hands. “I should have gone back for him, Sharon.  None of this would have ever happened if I’d just gone back to look for him.”

“Steve, listen to me,” Sharon said, holding him tightly.  “None of that is your fault.  Put the blame where it belongs, on HYDRA, on Zola, on Pierce.  You are not to blame for what happened.”

Bucky took a step into the kitchen, holding the door frame for support. “Steve,” he said in a hoarse voice.

Steve turned and stood up.  “Bucky."  He didn’t move, wavering uncertainly until Bucky took a few shaky steps into the kitchen.  Steve rushed to his side and guided him to a chair.  

“Easy pal.  Can I get you anything?” he asked, forcing a smile.

“I’m starving,” Bucky said. Right now nothing sounded appetizing, but it would give Steve something to do.

Steve nodded.  “I can make pancakes.”

“Sure,” Bucky said. At least those would be filling.

Steve started gathering the ingredients and Sharon brought Bucky a glass of milk.  Wanda came down the stairs.  She saw Bucky and stopped in the doorway.  After what he had said, he didn’t blame her, but it hurt to see her afraid of him.

“Have a seat,” he gestured. “Steve’s making pancakes.”   

“I’m not very hungry,” she said.  She got a cup of coffee and joined him at the table.  There were dark circles under her eyes.  

“How did you sleep?”

She sipped her coffee. “I didn’t."

Bucky reached over to take her hand.  “Don’t go in there, ok?  It’s not safe.”

“I couldn't leave you like that,” she said, a haunted look in her eyes.

Bucky took a sip of his milk.  “Thank you though.  I know I didn’t seem very grateful yesterday, but I don’t know if I would have come out of that otherwise.”

Wanda nodded.  A silence fell over the kitchen, broken only by the sound of pancakes cooking on the griddle.

**-End-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading.  I know this one was pretty dark, but it’s Bucky.  The Russian is from Google Translate. I’ll be glad to change it if anyone cares to give me a more accurate translation.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who’s been following this and a double thank you to everyone who has taken time to review.  I’d love to hear from you!  Even just a few words make me feel like all the hours I put into each chapter are worth it. I won't say that reviews makes me write faster but they don’t slow me down.


	14. Take Me Out to the Ball Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky, Steve, and Sam go to a Yankees game.

Bucky leaned over the kitchen counter staring at his journal. It was dark and the only sound was the constant hum of the refrigerator. Bucky touched the pen to the paper. He lifted it again, still not certain how to start. His recent flashback had been one of the most severe he'd ever experienced. The memory itself had been almost unbearable, but having his mind hijacked and then scrambled had made it difficult to process. The memory would have surfaced. After running into the doctor, that was inevitable, but he could have managed better if he had been able to think straight.

He tapped the pen to the paper again. He needed to write it down, but he couldn't find the words. He had recounted it several times already with Wilson, and once with Steve after working through some of his immediate reactions, but there was something concrete about putting it on paper. His mind still felt like a sieve some days, with memories running through the cracks. Paper was real. Everything that he had remembered at one point or another made it into those journals. Once he recorded it, there was no denying it had happened.

 _They made me love them._ He wrote in a shaking script. He set his pen down and stared at the words, wanting to tear them out of the book. They were true, but he hated himself for letting them be. He was disgusted to know that he had ever wanted to serve them, ever been proud to do HYDRA's dirty work. With a growl he slammed the cover closed and threw the book at the wall. Tearing it out wouldn't change what happened, but he couldn't stand to look at it any longer.

"What's wrong?" Steve asked from the doorway. Bucky hadn't even noticed him standing there.

"I'm trying to write it down, but I just-" He took a deep breath. "I don't want to. I don't want to admit it was real."

Steve looked down, his lips pressed tightly together. It had been a difficult incident for him to hear about. Steve still couldn't shake the idea that he could have prevented Bucky from being turned into the Winter Soldier. Especially after hearing about everything Bucky had suffered under Pierce, he couldn't accept that it had been out of his control.

"Whatever they made you think Buck, it wasn't you," he said finally.

"I was really hoping you wouldn't have to hear that one," Bucky said quietly.

Steve bent down to retrieve the journal and handed it to Bucky. "Is there any cake left?"

"Should be" Bucky said.

Steve went to the refrigerator and took out the cake that Sharon had made. He cut a slice for each of them, and handed the larger one to Bucky. Bucky ate slowly, savoring the taste. It was a simple yellow cake with chocolate icing. Sharon had brushed off his praise, telling him it came from a box and that the icing was from a can. He didn't care how it was made. The Winter Soldier never got dessert and there were no bad memories connected to cake.

Steve picked at the small piece on his plate. Bucky paused with the fork in his mouth. It was unusual for Steve to be up at this hour unless Bucky woke up in a panic. Even then, he usually went right back to sleep after Bucky settled down. Something had been bothering him lately, even before Atlanta.

"You remember that time when we were kids, we went to see the Dodgers play the Yankees and you forgot your jacket," Bucky said.

That drew a smile from Steve. "It was 50 degrees and it started raining so you gave me yours. We should have gone home, but we saved up for a month to buy those tickets. You got the flu and missed a week of school," he said. "I tried to come check on you but my mom was so worried that I would get it, she wouldn't let me go."

"And you climbed up the fire escape and snuck into my room," Bucky recounted. "Then you had to hide under my bed when my mom came in."

Steve laughed. "I almost fell off that stupid fire escape."

"You had a black eye," Bucky remembered. "I don't think you ever told me how you got it."

"Frankie McKinley. He said, since you weren't there to stop him, he said he was going to teach me a lesson," Steve grinned. "I didn't learn it."

"You should have told me," Bucky said.

Steve shrugged. "You were practically on your deathbed, I didn't want you to worry."

"I always worry about you, punk, especially when I'm not there to bail you out."

"Yeah, I know," Steve said quietly. "You want the rest of this?"

Bucky reached over and pulled the plate toward him. He wasn't going to let good cake go to waste.

"You know you can talk to me if something's bothering you," he said. "Even if I have the flu."

"Well Buck, with you here, the only thing I'm worried about is running out of cake," Steve smiled. It was forced, but Bucky didn't press the issue. Steve never responded well when he was backed into a corner.

"You had your chance," he taunted, shoving a forkful of cake into his mouth.

* * *

The next morning, Steve sat in the den with his coffee and the newspaper. The rest of the team was in the kitchen, but he wanted to be alone right now. With everything that had happened lately, he felt he had earn the right to be in a bad mood, but he didn't want to take it out on the others. He could tell that everyone was worried about him, but he would be fine. He always was.

He turned to the sports section to check the score from the Yankees game. They had won, and so far this season they were doing well. At least something in his life was going right, even if it was something silly like baseball. He looked to see who they were playing next. According to the schedule, they were playing the Orioles in Baltimore.

Steve put down the paper and opened his laptop. Weeks ago, he and Bucky had talked about going to see a game. After their last mission, this might be just what they needed. Both of them could use an afternoon away from their problems and Bucky needed a reminder of who he had been before HYDRA.

He took a quick look at the ticket prices and went to the kitchen. The others were sitting at the kitchen table nibbling at the remains of breakfast.

"Feeling social?" Natasha asked.

"I had an idea," Steve said cheerfully, ignoring the comment. "Who wants to go see the Yankees Orioles game Saturday?"

"Pass," Natasha said, turning her attention back to her last piece of bacon.

"Yeah, not my thing either," Wanda said, slightly more apologetic.

"The Yankees?" Bucky said with distaste.

"Buck, we talked about this," Steve said wearily.  "The Dodgers moved to California."

"Oh right," Bucky said.  "What the hell, I'm in.  Still New York at least." Steve couldn't help but smile at the excitement in his voice. "We haven't been to a game since," he paused. "Damn, when was it?"

"Huh, '43 we were in the army," Steve said. He couldn't quite remember either. "Must have been '42."

"Wow," Bucky said.

"Well count me in," Sam said. "I could definitely use a break."

"Sharon?" Steve asked.

Sharon cringed. "I've been trying to figure out how to say this, but I hate Baseball."

Steve felt his heart sink a bit, but he forced a smile and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "We'll make it work."

"But I am impressed that you found a place where sunglasses and a baseball cap are actually going to help you blend in," Sharon teased.

Steve chuckled. "Scott?"

"More of an NFL guy if anyone wants to go when the Ravens play the 49er's this fall."

"Ok," Steve said. "Three tickets and the rest of you get to sit here watching Wheel of Fortune."

"Well until Scott screwed up the gender divide I was going to suggest a spa day," Natasha said.

Wanda's face lit up. "Oh, can we go to that nail place near the Harbor?"

"Hey now!" Scott interjected. "It's 2017. Men can do spa days."

Sharon shrugged. "Ok, I guess we're doing a spa day."

"Alright then," Steve said. "Bucky, Sam, let's go to the den and look at seats."

"How are we going to buy seats from the den?" Bucky asked, confused.

"Nothing over $20." Sharon insisted.

"That's the nosebleed section," Sam said.

"And how much were you planning to spend on your pedicure?" Steve asked.

"About $50," she said.

"Plus tip, and lunch and I'm sure you're going to get something else done too," Steve argued.

"How are we going to buy the tickets from here?" Bucky asked again.

"Well, you were going to get hot dogs and nachos, and it's like $8 a beer," Sharon countered.

"$40 a seat," Steve offered.

"They used to cost a dollar!" Bucky balked.

"No kidding Grandpa!" Sam quipped. "Tell me how you had to walk to school in the snow uphill both ways."

"Fine, $40," Sharon agreed. "But we're getting a massage too."

"Then we're going to a bar afterwards," Steve told her.

"Ok, deal."

Steve kissed her and headed for the den.

"I'm still confused about how we're buying the tickets," Bucky said.

Sam gave him an exasperated look. "Man, we've talked about the internet. Pay attention."

* * *

When Saturday came, the house was a rush of activity. Bucky pulled on the Yankee's shirt Steve had let him borrow. It was soft and well worn. The baseball cap was stiff and he couldn't get it to lay right. Steve hadn't had an extra Yankees cap to loan him, so they had gone to the mall the day before to buy one. It seemed a bit ridiculous to Bucky, but Steve insisted that this was how people dressed at baseball games now.

"You know the game doesn't start until one o'clock, right?" Bucky heard Sharon call from the bathroom.

"We're taking the metro, so that's at least half an hour," Steve said, teasing his hair as though it wasn't going to be hidden under a hat all day. "And we want to tailgate, so we need to be there before noon, plus we're going to have to stop and pick up beer for that, so that's 15 minutes."

Bucky chuckled softly, wrestling with the photostatic glove as he went downstairs. He almost managed to hook it, but it slipped again. Cursing under his breath, he went to the kitchen. Natasha and Lang were sitting at the kitchen table with their coffee.

"Can someone help me get this thing on?" Bucky asked

Natasha reached up and deftly fastened the seam. She turned it on but didn't let go. "Is that what you're doing with your hair?" she asked.

"It's going to be under a baseball cap," he shrugged.

She pushed him into a chair. "It's 90 degree and you're going to be out in the sun all day," she said. You'll want that off your neck. She combed it into a ponytail with her fingers and took the hair tie from her wrist to hold it. She helped him adjust the hole in the back of the cap to sit over it. Lang chuckled quietly.

"What are you laughing at?" Bucky asked. "You're going to come back with red fingernails.

Lang scoffed. "I have a 9 year old daughter," he reminded Bucky. "My fingernails have been every color of the rainbow, sometimes all at once."

Wilson came down, a baseball cap in his hand. "Yo, Tic-Tac, the shower's free. Might want to jump in before Wanda does."

"Has anyone considered getting a larger water heater?" he asked, running upstairs.

"I'm going to go see if Sharon is done with the curling iron," Natasha said, giving Bucky's short pony tail a playful flick as she left.

Bucky went to get a cup of coffee. He could feel Wilson's eyes on him. "Just ask me," he said shortly.

"Ask you what?" Wilson asked innocently, sitting down at the table and flipping to the comics section.

"Ask me how I'm doing and get it over with," Bucky said. Wilson had been helping him work through the memories of HYDRA. He appreciated what Wilson was trying to do, but the analytical stares were starting to irritate him.

"This is my day off," Wilson said. "But since you brought it up, how are you doing?"

Bucky took a sip of his coffee. "Not good, but I don't want to think about it today."

"Fair enough," he said. "But you have to think about it sometime."

"I have," he replied. "All day, every day for the last week. I'm tired of it and I just need to do something to forget about it for a few hours."

"Ok, so today we're all just going to drink beer and watch baseball," Wilson said,

"Yep," Bucky agreed, sipping his coffee.

Steve came downstairs, grinning ear to ear. "Alright let's go!"

Bucky finished his coffee and followed Steve out the door.

* * *

Sharon knocked on the door of Wanda and Natasha's room. "Wanda, are you ready, we need to get going!"

"We have half an hour before we leave!" Wanda called back.

"Yeah, and unless it's a mission, you have a bad habit of taking twice as long as you have," Sharon said.

Wanda opened the door. "I was trying to pick out my shoes."

"Go with the flip flops unless you want to screw up your nail polish," Sharon told her.

Wanda grabbed her shoes and they headed down stairs. Scott and Natasha were in the living room watching the morning news.

"Ok, so what are we going to do?" Scott asked excitedly.

Sharon traded a quick look with Natasha. Natasha looked at Scott and gave her a quick nod.

"Well first we were going to get pedicures," Sharon told him.

"Sounds great," Scott said. "Never had one."

"Wanda found this place that does a hot stone massage on your calves, and then an herbal salt scrub followed by a hot towel wrap," Sharon said. "It's amazing."

"The thing is," Natasha said, "it's common courtesy to shave your legs before you go. It's kind of uncomfortable if you don't and the lotion get stuck in the hair."

Scott looked down at his legs. "Huh? So do I have to shave the whole leg or can I just do the bottom."

"As dark as your hair is, you probably want to do the whole leg or it'll look silly," Natasha said.

Scott rubbed a hand up his leg. "Is it just like shaving my face or do I have to use a special razor?"

"Start at your ankle and go up, but with that much hair you probably want to do it in small patches." Wanda suggested.

"Ok, give me 20 minutes."

Scott jumped off the couch and ran upstairs. They waited until he was out of the room and burst out laughing.

"Oh my god he's actually going to do it!" Sharon laughed breathlessly.

"You owe me $50," Natasha said.

"Double or nothing we can convince him to get his eyebrows waxed," Sharon said..

Natasha smirked.  "You're on Carter."

* * *

Bucky closed his eyes, letting the hot sun warm his face and melt away memories of the ice. The breeze cooled his neck. Being outside was peaceful, even with the noise of the stadium surrounding him. For a minute, it felt like he was young again, before the war, back when his biggest problems were girls and rent.

Wilson stood up and shuffled towards the end of the row. "Can you move your feet?" he asked.

For a moment Bucky thought back to the car in Germany and considered making him go the other way, but he put his feet down. "Get me a beer?"

"You have a beer!" Wilson said.

"I won't by the time you get back." Bucky took a long sip to emphasize his point.

"Fine. If I get Nachos are you going to eat them all?" Sam asked as he shuffled past.

"Maybe get two just to be safe," Bucky called.

"Steve?"

"I'm ok."

Bucky put his feet back up on the seat and drank his beer. It wasn't exactly like he remembered, but it was damn close. He turned to say something to Steve, but Steve was looking at his phone.

"Would you get off that thing and watch the game?"

Steve put it in his pocket with a doleful sigh. "I was expecting Sharon to text me a selfie of their pedicure."

Bucky stared at him. "I speak 12 languages and I didn't understand a word you just said."

Steve took a sip of his beer. "I was just hoping she'd come."

"Steve," Bucky said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "I'm happy that you finally got a girlfriend, but you really need to ease up. It's ok to go off with the fellows and watch a game. Dames need time alone too."

"Fine, you're right," Steve said.

Bucky finished his beer, hoping that Wilson was going to bring him one like he asked. "So what was it like coming out of the ice? Had to be different for you."

Steve frowned pensively. "It was weird. They tried to stage an Army hospital, but they screwed up about twenty things." He paused. "Might have been on purpose. I feel like SHIELD would have known better. I was a little disoriented, but mainly I was just disappointed that I was 70 years too late for my date with Peggy."

"I'm sorry that didn't work out for you."

"I was too until I met Sharon. Sometimes I wonder if it would have worked out or if I was just fixating on it because I never had a chance to try."

"And what the fuck possessed you to crash a plane into the Arctic in the first place?" Bucky asked, punching Steve in the arm. "What, did you just lose your damn mind after I fell off the train?"

Steve laughed. "Kind of."

"You have absolutely no impulse control, do you?" Bucky asked. Steve just sipped his beer, grinning.

Bucky shook his head. "So what was that whole thing with aliens in New York? And a killer robot?"

Steve hesitated, just barely, but Bucky caught it. "That was how the Avengers started. Clint told you that story. Thor's brother tried to open up a door to space. We stopped him."

"He told me the short version," Bucky said. "I'm sure there was more to it than that."

One of the players hit the ball deep into the outfield and rounded the bases. Their conversation was interrupted as the Orioles fans roared their support. One of the Yankee players caught the ball. Steve and Bucky jumped to their feet, cheering loudly. They sat back down as the inning changed.

"So what happened after the aliens?" Bucky asked. "Please don't tell me you sat in your apartment for two years watching newsreels."

"No, I worked with SHIELD for a while. Natasha and I worked together a lot. She kind of made it her mission to get me a girlfriend." Steve chuckled. "She actually tried to set me up with Sharon once."

"Yeah, Sharon told me she lived across the hall from you."

"Yeah, I thought her name was Kate and that she was a nurse," Steve said.

"That one must have been a shock," Bucky said.

Steve looked at him, hesitating again.

"She told me the whole story." Bucky assured him.

Steve relaxed just a bit. "You know I was pretty damn surprised when you caught the shield. Thought I had you for sure."

"Surprised the hell out of me too," Bucky admitted. "I didn't know who you were at the time and the fact that you actually managed to chase me down was," he paused, trying to remember how he had felt at the time. "Annoying. I wasn't used to anyone being a match for me."

"Yeah, having all my co-workers hunt me down was pretty annoying too," Steve said wryly.

"Did Natasha know who Sharon was the whole time?"

Steve furrowed his brow. "You know I never asked. Probably." He took a sip of his beer.

"So what was that thing with the killer robot?"

Steve looked out at the field, avoiding the question. Before Bucky could press the issue, Wilson returned and handed him a container of nachos. Bucky looked at it frowning.

"What the hell are these things?" he asked, picking up a mushy green circle.

"Jalapenos," Wilson said.

"You know I hate spicy food!" he accused Wilson.

"Oh do you?" Wilson asked. feigning surprise.

"You're the one who made me try these in Mexico, ass. And you forgot my beer." He stood up and handed the container to Steve. "I'm going to get a hot dog. Anyone want anything?"

"I'll take one," Steve said. Wilson considered carefully.

"I'm good," he said.

"Good call," Bucky growled menacingly as he headed up to the concessions stand.

* * *

"You know, this was nice," Scott said as they left the nail salon. "My legs feel refreshed and my feet are all smooth. We should do this more often."

"And you're ok with passion pink?" Wanda asked.

Scott looked at his foot and wiggled his toes. "Well I was going to go with dusty rose, but this just seemed happier."

"What do you guys want to do for lunch?" Wanda asked. Natasha's phone dinged.

"Guys, we have a situation," she said.

"Damnit," Sharon said.

"Awww, the boots are going to mess up my toes!" Scott whined.

Natasha handed her the phone. "Should we call Steve?"

"No," Sharon said firmly. "He hasn't been to a game since 1942, I'm not going to ruin it for him."

"I think you ruined it when you didn't go with him." Wanda said.

"What?" Sharon asked. Steve hadn't said anything about it to her. She assumed he would have been happy to have some time alone with Sam and Bucky.

"He was a bit disappointed," Wanda told her.

Sharon pushed the thought out of her mind. "Well right now we need to stop someone from setting off an EMP in the middle of Charlotte, North Carolina."

"What's there?" Wanda asked.

"It's the second largest banking center in the US," Sharon explained. "Frying the systems would cause a major disruption to the financial sector."

"We're a little understaffed," Natasha said. "Are you sure we shouldn't call Steve?"

Sharon shook her head. "I don't think we need the heavy hitters on this one. It seems like more of a finesse job and if we do need some muscle, we always have the jolly red giant."

"I was actually going with giant man," Scott said. He sighed. "I should have gone with Raven Red. It would have matched the suit."

"It's going to get smudged in a half hour anyway," Sharon said. "Let's get going."

* * *

Sam leaned over Steve and shoved his hand in the bag of popcorn that Barnes was holding. He grabbed a handful and shoved it in his mouth.

"Wilson!" Barnes cried, leaning over to punch him in the thigh. "I said you could have a handful, not half the damn bag!"

"Should have gotten two," Sam mumbled around a mouth of popcorn.

Barnes half threw the bag at him. "Fine, you can have this one, I'll get another." He jumped over the back of the seat to go to the concessions stand.

"Get me a beer?" Wilson asked.

"Sure," Barnes said with a hint of mischief in his voice.

"He's not going to get me a beer," Sam muttered.

"Was that necessary?" Steve asked wearily.

"Yes," Sam replied. "I've been too nice to him lately."

Steve looked at him strangely. "Um, ok."

"He's been crying on my shoulder for a week and he's not good with that whole emotional vulnerability thing. He actually wants me to be a dick to him right now so he can feel normal. The fact that it went on that long should tell you how bad off he was."

Steve gaped at Sam. "You really thought that one through."

"Yeah," Sam told him. "I screwed up the nachos and ate his popcorn, he'll eat my Oreo's tonight, a little prank war will be good for him. Isn't that what the baseball game is about, getting back to normal?"

Steve nodded. Sam glanced over at Steve. He was staring at his phone again.

"Dude, would you get off that thing!"

"Sorry!" he said, putting it back in his pocket.

"What are you, 15?"

"No, I was just hoping Sharon would text me."

"You know, you're actually worse with a girlfriend." Sam muttered. "Give her some space and let her have one afternoon to herself."

He laughed. "Bucky said the same thing. Am I really that bad?"

"No, but you need to chill a bit. You've been mopey as hell lately and she's been a saint about it, but you gotta give her a break."

"Ok, fine, I'm putting my phone away for the rest of the game," he looked back at the concession stand. "Are you sure you trust Bucky to get you a beer?"

Sam scoffed. "What's he going to do?"

"I don't know, but back in the Howling Commandos he had some pretty good ones," Steve grinned. "I'd watch your back."

Steve stopped talking as Bucky returned. Bucky handed Sam a beer.

"What's this?" Sam asked suspiciously. It was dark, but didn't look too heavy.

"I don't know," Barnes said. "The cute girl at the counter said it was her favorite. Duck Bunny or something."

Sam sighed and took a sip. It started to burn. He gagged and spit it into an empty cup. "What the fuck, Barnes!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought you liked peppers," Barnes taunted him gleefully.

"Not in my beer!" Sam gagged. "What did you do to it?"

"Something called Siracha."

Steve laughed as Sam ran off to the concessions stand. He realized that he may have underestimated his opponent. Maybe a prank war with Barnes wasn't the best idea.

* * *

"So was Steve really that disappointed?" Sharon asked as they neared their destination.

"Well you've seen him lately," Natasha said. "Ever since Chicago he's been moody."

"Well yeah, I noticed that," Sharon said, "but I didn't think the baseball game was that big a deal. I thought he would rather go with someone who'd appreciate it."

"I think the whole thing in Algeria hit him harder than he realizes and then Atlanta," Scott said. "I think he just wants to spend some time together with everyone."

"Well you know what, he's been a bit clingy lately," Sharon snapped. "I know he's having a hard time and I've tried to be supportive, but I need a break from him sometimes. I know that sounds mean but this isn't a normal situation."

"No I get it, but maybe baseball wasn't the place to draw the line in the sand," Wanda suggested.

"Coming up on the LZ," Natasha said.

Sharon set the jet down on top of a parking garage near the target. They hurried down the street ignoring the stares and shouts from the crowds. They would have to hurry before the Avengers got wind of their presence.

Scott shrank down as they approached the target. Sharon and Natasha cut around to slip through the police barricade. Wanda circled around the other way. The targets were standing in a large plaza. They had weapons, but Sharon guessed it was more to keep the police at bay. One of the targets had a megaphone and was droning on about the evils of the banking system.

"Ok, they don't appear hostile at the moment," Natasha said. "Sounds like some anti-capitalism activist group. Scott, can you get in there and take a look at that thing?"

"On it."

"Wanda keep an eye on those guns and get ready to shield the cops if they open fire," Sharon instructed.

"I'm on it."

Sharon and Natasha crouched down to wait as Scott moved in on the target. Suddenly one of the men turned to look at Wanda.

"Shit! It's the Avengers!" he yelled, opening fire.

* * *

It was the bottom of the 7th inning and the Yankees were up by three. Bucky took a breath and belched. It had been a mistake to go for the chili cheese hot dog. After a week without food, his stomach was more sensitive than he realized. Steve finished his beer and stood up.

"If I go to the restroom am I going to come back and find you guys throwing nachos at each other?" he asked.

"You think I'd waste good nachos on him?" Wilson balked. "These things are like $6 a piece!"

"We'll be fine." Bucky promised. "I could use another beer though,"

"I'll grab a round," Steve said as he left.

They watched the game in silence for a moment. Bucky turned to see that Steve was out of earshot.

"Hey Wilson," Bucky said, moving over a seat.

"Touch my nachos and I will end you," Wilson cautioned him.

""No, I'm calling a truce for a minute," Bucky said."Do you think Steve's acting weird lately?"

"Well last week was pretty tough on everyone," Wilson said.

"No, it's not that, he's been like this for a while and it's not just about me."

Wilson frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Seems like something's bothering him but he won't tell me. I was talking to him a minute ago and he kept dodging the questions."

"Like what?" Sam asked, nibbling on a nacho.

"Well I was asking him about what he's been doing since he got unfrozen. He saved New York from aliens. That has to be a hell of a story, so why won't he talk about it?"

Wilson nodded. "Stark."

Bucky flinched.

"And that's why he won't tell you," Wilson explained. "Most of that Avenger stuff involves Tony and I don't think he really feels comfortable talking about that with you."

"So he's just supposed to pretend like the last 5 years of his life didn't happen because it might upset me?" Bucky asked.

Wilson gaped at him. "Man, last week you were curled up in the basement crying for six days because you ran into a HYDRA scientist!"

"I was not crying," Bucky insisted.

"Still though. You maybe think he has a point?" Wilson suggested.

Bucky let out an aggravated sigh. He and Steve had always talked about everything. It hurt that Steve wouldn't confide in him. Steve kept hoping that Bucky was going to get back to his old self, but Bucky hadn't seen much of the old Steve lately.

"Well ignoring it isn't going to help me," he grumbled.

"I agree, but I don't think it's just you," Wilson said. "He's upset about what happened between him and Tony. He's been focused on you recently but the Avengers hunting us down kind of brought all that up again."

"Were they close?" Bucky asked.

Wilson nodded. "I don't think they saw eye to eye on a lot of stuff, but you fight off an alien invasion together, you bond. He didn't really have anyone when he came out of the ice except the Avengers."

Bucky took a sip of his beer. "Hey Wilson?"

"What?"

"Thanks for the nachos."

Wilson patted him on the shoulder. "No problem. That was a good choice of beer."

"You know I'm eating your Oreo's tonight," Bucky told him.

"Yeah," Wilson said. "And you know I'm going to drink all the coffee tomorrow morning."

Bucky laughed. "Try it."

* * *

Wanda threw up a forcefield as a spray of bullets flew in her direction. Sharon and Natasha ran out to engage. One of the men turned to fire, forcing them to take cover behind a granite wall.

"Scott, a little help here!" Sharon yelled.

"Just a minute, I have an idea," he said.

"No, no ideas, get over there and take them out!" Natasha yelled.

"No, I got this," he insisted. "Say hello to my little friends!"

The gunmen stopped firing and started screaming. Wanda quickly grabbed their weapons.

"I really hate to do this guys," Scott said. "I actually kind of agree with you, but I do not approve of your methods!"

"Ok, now you're just showing off," Natasha said.

"Fire ants!" He chuckled as the gunmen continued to scream. "Someone remind me to drop some sugar packets for those little guys!

"Geez, Scott. How many fire ants did you use?" Sharon asked.

"All of them," he said. "They're just lucky we're not in Louisiana."

"Great, can you call them off so we don't get bitten cuffing these guys," Sharon asked.

"Oh right," Scott said. Natasha and Sharon ran out to restrain the gunmen.

"Alright, get in there and disable the EMP," Sharon ordered.

"Without setting it off, please," Natasha added.

"Hey, this is all electrical. I'm in my element here!" Scott reverted to full size. He ran over and yanked out a few wires. "EMP neutralized."

"Good work," Sharon said.

"While we're here, I was reading online about some really good local breweries. Anyone want to swing through on our way out?"

Sharon looked at Natasha. She shrugged.

"One brewery," Sharon said. "And not in Uptown."

* * *

It was late when Steve, Sam and Bucky arrived home. Natasha, Sharon, Wanda and Scott were in the kitchen playing scrabble.

"You're back late!" Sharon said, standing up to kiss Steve hello.

"The Yankees won so we went to a bar afterwards."

"Wasn't the game over a 5?" Natasha asked.

"Yep," Bucky said, half carrying Sam upstairs.

"Is he ok?" Scott asked.

Steve laughed. "He'll have a headache tomorrow, but he's fine. A couple of Orioles fans challenged us to something called beer pong. Bucky and Sam got a little too competitive."

"Did you have fun at your game?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah," Steve said. Aside from a few tense moments with Bucky it had been a good day. He felt relaxed for the first time in weeks. "I think we needed that."

"You weren't disappointed that I didn't come, were you?" Sharon asked hesitantly.

"A little at first," Steve admitted. "But I realized it's probably not a bad idea to spend some time apart now and then."

He went into the living room and turned on the news. "So what did you guys do today?"

Natasha shrugged. "We got pedicures and then Scott took us to this brewery he read about."

"Sounds great." A news blurb scrolled across the bottom of the screen. He turned to Sharon. "Where exactly was that brewery?"

"North Carolina," she said. "We brought back a couple of growlers if you want a beer."

"I've been drinking since 11," Steve said. "I'll have some water, and you can tell me about the EMP."  Sharon just smiled.

* * *

"Oh God, I'm going to feel this tomorrow," Wilson moaned.

"You didn't have to do shots with them," Bucky pointed out.

"Please tell me that at least got you buzzed," Wilson pleaded.

"Well the six I drank while you were in the bathroom throwing up made me feel something," Bucky admitted. He opened the door to Wilson's room and dropped him on the bed. "You want anything?"

Wilson nodded. "Coconut water," he mumbled, closing his eyes as his head hit the pillow.

Bucky turned off the lights and closed the door. He went to his room to grab his journal and went downstairs. He took the coconut water out of the refrigerator.

"Can someone take this up to Wilson when they go up? No rush, I think he passed out right after I put him to bed."

"I got it," Lang said. "It's been a long day, I think I'm going to call it early."

"What the hell happened to your legs?" Bucky asked. Lang's legs were completely hairless.

"Oh damnit!" Sharon said. "I owe Natasha $50."

"Say what?" Lang cried.

"I'm going to bed," Sharon said, quickly heading up.

"Uh, hang on!" Lang said, following her up.

"I'm going to turn in too," Natasha said.

"Me too," Wanda said. She paused to kiss Bucky on the cheek. "Night."

"Get some sleep," he told her.

Bucky went to the sink for a glass of water. "What was that about?" He asked Steve.

"She bet Natasha that they couldn't convince Scott to shave his legs. I think there was something else, but someone tried to set off an EMP in North Carolina so they had to take care of that.

Bucky looked carefully at Steve. "Something wrong?"

"Not really, I just wish they had called us." Steve said.

"Wilson was half drunk and that hot dog gave me indigestion. I'm not sure we would have been much help." He took a packet of Alka Seltzer out of the cabinet and dropped it into his glass.

"I just wish she'd asked," Steve said.

"I think she just wanted to let you have some time to relax," Bucky said. Steve didn't reply. Bucky drank the Alka Seltzer, thinking carefully. He had found in the past that confronting Steve about things often had the opposite of the desired result. He decided to try a different tactic.

"Do you still draw?"

"I haven't in awhile," Steve said with a wistful smile.

"You should take it up again," Bucky suggested. "I used to love the stuff you did."

"I don't think I even own a sketchbook," Steve said.

"We'll go get one tomorrow."

Steve nodded. "That would be nice," he yawned. "I'm going to bed."

"I'm going to stay up for a bit," Bucky said.

"Night pal." Steve clapped him on the shoulder as he passed.

Bucky poured a glass of milk and took the Oreo's out of the cabinet. Taking a seat at the island, he opened his journal and looked at the nearly blank page.

_They made me love them._

* * *

_~Your work has been a gift to mankind.~_

Bucky drove his fist into the bag, trying to quiet the voice in his head. "Shut up!"

He hammered his fists into the bag, over and over. Gasping, he realized that he hadn't taken a breath in a couple of minutes. He sank down to the floor, panting. The game today had been fun, but nothing had been able to push the memory out of his head. Now that he had a few moments of peace, everything had come rushing back. HYDRA had trained him like a dog, taught him obedience, praised him, rewarded him, punished him when he stepped out of line. He had been nothing but an animal to them, a loyal beast willing to do their bidding.

Bucky ripped off the gloves and started to throw them at the wall until he noticed Wanda on the stairs.

"How long have you been there?" he asked.

"Only a minute," she answered, coming down into the basement.

Bucky sighed and turned to put the gloves away. "Still can't sleep?"

"Can you?" she asked.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," he said.

She look down at her hands, her mouth tightly drawn. "I get treated like a child sometimes, and I suppose compared to them I am, but I've lived on the darker side of humanity," she reminded him. "By choice," she added. "Pietro and I joined HYDRA willingly. What they did to you, that wasn't a choice. They never would have allowed you to do anything except what they wanted."

"I could have died," Bucky said.

She lifted her head to look him in the eye. "You think they would have let you?"

"I don't know, but when I stopped wanting to, they won."

Wanda crossed her arms and looked at the floor, biting her lip. He wanted to see things her way but it was difficult. He had not realized what was happening at the time and he only remembered the pride he felt serving their cause.

"Come here," he said. Wanda came over and he folded her in his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder. Neither said anything. It pained him to see her so distressed. He wished he could get better so she wouldn't worry, but 70 years of manipulation and conditioning couldn't be undone in a few months. Bucky kissed the top of her head.

"Get some sleep," he said softly.

She nodded and went upstairs. Bucky sighed, feeling calmer now. He went over to where he had left his journal and opened it up. He pressed the pen into the page.

_They made me love them._

**-End-**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading! I love seeing how many of you have favorited and followed this story, but I would love to hear from you too! Drop a quick review to let me know what you think of the story so far! These chapters take days, sometimes weeks to write and your feedback helps keep me motivated.
> 
> Thanks also to JayRain for listening me bitch about the last chapter. Go read her stuff! She has some great Bucky and Steve works.


	15. Longing

_The Soldier was restrained inside the vault with his hands secured to the wall above his head. The magnetic cuffs were a new toy since the last time he had been out. His facemask had been left on for the safety of anyone who might approach. He had killed three of them before he was subdued and bitten a finger off of a tech who tried to put in the mouthguard. They had been replacements. There would be more._

" _He's all yours Rumlow," a woman on the other side of the door said. "Don't cut off anything that won't grow back, but everything else heals pretty fast._

_The door swung open and a muscular man with short dark hair in a tight black t-shirt entered. The door slid closed behind him and the man called Rumlow swaggered towards him. It was the walk of a man who thought he was in charge. The Soldier watched him carefully. There was a difference between those who thought they had control and those who did, but they were both dangerous._

" _You caused a lot of trouble this time," Rumlow said._

" _Touch me and I'll tear your intestines out with my teeth and shove them up your ass," the Soldier replied in Russian._

_Rumlow smirked. "I'm still learning Russian, but I'm pretty sure what you said wasn't nice." He struck the soldier under the chin with the heel of his palm. The Soldier's head snapped back and cracked against the hard wall behind him._

" _Pierce couldn't be here," Rumlow said, cracking his knuckles. "So he asked me to come teach you a lesson. You cost us some good people and when you do that, it makes Pierce angry."_

_The Soldier felt his breath catch. Pierce. He had misjudged the situation. He had taken Rumlow for another arrogant fill in, but Rumlow had been sent to punish him in Pierce's stead. He had disappointed Pierce so badly that Pierce wouldn't even come himself. He had been disobedient and now he would be punished. When they were finished, it would be the chair and then the ice. He braced himself for what was to come, thankful that Rumlow couldn't see him bite his lip under the mask._

" _Order only comes through pain," Rumlow said, slipping on a set of brass knuckles. "So until we get order, you're gonna get pain." He swung his fist towards the Soldier's stomach._

* * *

Bucky bolted upright, crying out in shock. He looked down at his stomach, prodding it gently where he remembered the first blow landing, the first of many. When Rumlow was finished, he had hung there for three days without food while his injuries healed. After that, they had strapped him to the chair, forced a feeding tube down his throat and zapped him before throwing him back in cryostasis.

With a shaky hand, he felt the floor beneath him, running his fingers over the worn wood of the floorboards. It had been a nightmare. HYDRA was in shambles and he was no longer under their control. He was in Baltimore on the floor of Steve's bedroom.

He rubbed his face, squinting in the bright light. The sun was streaming through the windows. Usually he was up early enough that it didn't bother him, but he hadn't been sleeping well. Stretching, he threw on a T-shirt and went downstairs. It was late and even Lang was up. He found the coffee pot empty and cold. Whatever breakfast had been made was already gone.

He poured a bowl of cereal and put the kettle on to boil. Wanda had noticed the change in his sleep pattern and bought him a package of instant coffee from Starbucks so that he wouldn't have to fight with the machine when he woke up late. It wasn't as good as fresh coffee, but it was passable. He ate his cereal while he waited for the water to boil. Natasha came in from the patio.

"Morning sleepyhead," she said.

He nodded and swallowed a mouthful of cornflakes. "Where is everyone?"

"They're around," Natasha said. "Sharon and Steve are outback pretending they know how to garden. I think Sam and Wanda went for a run and Scott's probably in the den."

The kettle whistled and Bucky poured the hot water into the cup, stirring in the coffee packet. He took his breakfast to the table. Natasha walked over to join him, running her fingers through his hair as she passed. He felt a tingle on the back of his neck as the tips of her fingers brushed his skin.

"Are you sure you don't want me to trim this a bit?" she asked. Bucky rubbed the back of his neck as the tingling subsided.

"It's fine," he said quickly. Lately she had been preoccupied with cutting his hair. He didn't mind it, but it was confusing. Steve had warned him that Natasha was a flirt and he shouldn't pay any attention. He felt like there was something else going on, but whatever it was, it wasn't something he could focus on right now.

Natasha sat down at the table. "When you're done, do you want to spar? I'm feeling a little stiff."

"You went on a mission last Saturday," Bucky reminded her.

"Scott and Wanda handled most of that. Sharon and I barely broke a sweat."

"Alright, you're on." Bucky said. Fighting he knew how to handle and he was getting tired of punching the bag. A live opponent would be more of a distraction. He finished his breakfast and went up to change.

* * *

Bucky watched Natasha carefully, looking for an opening. She wasn't attacking, but she wasn't giving him an opportunity to move in either. Impatiently, he struck at her with his left hand. She parried and kicked him in the gut. Bucky backed away to catch his breath. She was doing this on purpose to make him lose focus, he realized. It was a good tactic, but he couldn't let it work. He needed to work on his control if he wanted to go back out in the field. If he couldn't keep a clear head, he would be a liability.

Focusing on keeping his breathing steady, Bucky watched Natasha carefully, waiting for a break in her concentration. Finally, he saw her eyes dart to the side for just a split second. He attacked, throwing a jab followed by a roundhouse kick to her head.

Natasha dropped to avoid the attack and swept his leg. He hit the ground and rolled, coming back up as she jumped to her feet. He drew the rubber practice knife and rushed her. She parried, but he kicked her in the stomach. She staggered back. He pursued, striking with his right hand. She blocked and climbed up on his shoulders, choking him from behind. Bucky reached up to try and pry her off of him.

"Yo, Spy vs Spy!" Wilson called from the stairs. Bucky felt Natasha's grip loosen. "We have a mission. Briefing in 10."

Natasha climbed down from Bucky's shoulders. "Thanks, that's the best workout I've had in awhile."

"Am I going on this one?" he asked.

She looked at him carefully. "You tell me."

"Well let's see what it is first," Bucky said as they cleaned up the basement. He wasn't going to rush into another HYDRA base, but he needed to be out there right now. The solitude of an empty house would be unbearable. Memories kept creeping up in the quiet moments and none of them had been pleasant. He needed the distraction.

* * *

Natasha watched carefully as Steve went through the mission briefing. A map of Africa appeared on the TV along with a picture of an intimidating looking man.

"A group of mercenaries led by this man, Jabari Madaki, are stealing medical supplies from refugee camps in Chad," Steve explained. "What they can't use, they're ransoming back to the camps. We need to put a stop to that."

Steve zoomed in the map to the target area.

"According to the pattern, they've been hitting the camps about 2 days after a delivery. The next attack should be tomorrow."

"Do we have a plan to stop them?" Natasha asked. "Preventing one theft seems like filling a swimming pool with an eye dropper."

"We're actually going to let them go through with it," Steve explained reluctantly. "I don't want to engage them near the camp and we need to find their base. Sam will use Redbird to track them. Once we have the location of the base, we'll take out the leaders and alert the local officials to round them up."

"Smart. You come up with that all by yourself?" Natasha teased. Steve was clever but setting traps wasn't his preferred style.

"No, he didn't." Sharon said, absentmindedly filing her nails.

"Those refugee camps are run by the UN." Wanda pointed out.

"This has been going on for two months," Sharon said. "If they were going to send in the Avengers, they would have done it by now. Someone has to stop this."

"Ok, moving out in two hours," Steve ordered. Everyone dispersed to prepare.

Natasha went to the kitchen to get a drink. Bucky came in behind her. Steve and Sam followed, both looking serious. Natasha pretended not to notice, but she knew what was about to happen.

"Nat, Bucky, have a seat for a minute," Steve said. "We need to talk."

Bucky poured a glass of water and sat down at the table. Natasha joined him. She looked at him carefully. He had been expecting this, but he was still nervous.

"Is my vote going to matter this time?" Sam asked. "If not, I'm going to go shave."

"Everyone's opinion matters, Sam." Steve told him.

"Ok then. We need to take him off the team," Sam said bluntly.

Bucky glared at him. "I'm sitting right here, asshole."

"I know, and I'll say it again. You need to take some time off and get your head straight before you go back out in the field."

"Ok, noted," Steve said. He looked at Bucky. "Buck, what do you think? Can you handle this?"

"If you want me to say it's not going to happen again, I can't," Bucky said. "I didn't think it would happen last time."

"We knew that was a risk when we let him join the team in the first place," Natasha reminded them. "And all things considered I think it turned out alright."

"And once again, I'm the only one here who seems concerned," Sam said.

"You're not," Natasha confessed. "But I think the benefits outweigh the risks. We wouldn't take anyone else off the team over an isolated incident."

Steve tapped his fingers on the table. He looked at Bucky. "Up to you pal."

Natasha could hear the apprehension in his voice. After Atlanta they were all a little nervous about letting Bucky back out in the field, but they couldn't keep him home forever.

"I'll let Natasha call it," he said.

Natasha stiffened, looking carefully at everyone. Somehow she always got backed into a corner when it came to Bucky. "Why do I always have to make the big decisions for you boys?"

"Because you're the one in charge of zapping me if I lose it." Bucky told her.

Natasha considered carefully. Given the mission parameters, Bucky would either be a huge asset or an enormous liability. He was shaken, but she had always felt that coddling him wasn't going to help. He needed to get back to work.

"I think we're going to need you on this one," she said finally.

"Ok," Steve said. "Stick together this time though."

"For the record this is a terrible idea," Sam said as he headed upstairs.

Steve sighed. "Alright, gear up. I'm going to help Sharon pack."

Natasha turned to Bucky as Steve headed upstairs. His face was etched with worry. She flashed him a coy smile to lighten the mood. "Do you think they're actually packing or is that a code?"

Despite everything, a sly grin crept over his face. "We have two hours. Could be both."

* * *

It had been four hours since Sam started tracking the mercenaries. The team sat in the jet, waiting for word that their plan had succeeded. The anticipation had worn off and boredom had hit. Steve was sitting in the co-pilot's chair doing the crossword. He looked back to see how the others were faring. Sharon, Clint, and Natasha were playing some game on their cell phones. Scott was sitting on the edge of the ramp, putting on a miniature parade with some local ant species. Wanda was practicing her powers with a set of blocks she kept in her locker and Bucky was reading through his journals.

Bucky hadn't wanted to discuss his memories lately. He had gotten tired of talking about the one from Atlanta, but now something else seemed to be bothering him. Sam seemed to think that if he had suppressed that one for so long, others similar to it might start to come to the surface. Steve hoped that there was nothing as bad as that still for him to recall, but Pierce had been in control of the Winter Soldier for over 20 years. If it took that much effort to break Bucky down, it likely took a good deal of effort to keep him that way.

_~ You know he knew you right? Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky. I was there, he got all weepy about it, until they put his brain back in a blender.~_

Steve had wondered at the time if Rumlow had been lying to get under his skin, or if he actually had something to do with the with Winter Soldier. Steve didn't want to stir up unpleasant memories for Bucky by asking, and he also wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. Before he knew Rumlow was HYDRA, he had respected him as a colleague. They were never quite friends, but he had seemed like a decent man. The team had gone out for drinks a few times and he had genuinely enjoyed their company. It kept him awake sometimes wondering if Rumlow had known. Hunting him down during the two years after that, he had seen Rumlow's true nature emerge. If he had had anything to do with Bucky's captivity, Steve feared what might happen when those memories began to surface.

"I have them. Three miles east of the Sudanese border," Sam reported over the com, jolting Steve out of this thoughts. Sharon put her phone away and began the lift off sequence.

"How many?" he asked, bringing up the video feed from Redbird.

"Maybe around fifty."

"Not too bad," Natasha said, coming over to look at the screen.

"Say that once the bullets start flying," Sam retorted.

"Alright, here's the plan," Steve said as Sharon took off to move in on Sam's position. "Clint, how many knock out gas arrows did you bring?"

"More than enough for what you're planning," Clint said, testing his bowstring

"Shoot everything you have into high concentration areas. Wanda, keep the gas contained. Scott," Steve turned to him.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Scott broke in.

"What, there's an ant for that?" Natasha asked.

"There's always an ant for that," he said. "Driver ant. They attack in large numbers and can chew through pretty much anything. I think I can take out their vehicles."

"Ok, do what you have to. Sam stay in the air, let us know if any of them make a break for it. Nat and Bucky, the three of us will try to find Madaki and take him out. Everyone clear."

They nodded. Steve went to his locker to get his shield. He stepped in close to Bucky as everyone did their final checks.

"I'm just going to ask one more time. Are you ok to do this?"

"Steve, I'm fine," Bucky insisted curtly. "Are we expecting the Avengers?" he asked louder.

"They're at the UN for some PR crap," Sharon said. "But grab a couple of EMP rounds. We might want to disable their communications."

"Good point," Steve said. "Alright, coming up on the drop zone. Remember, move in quietly. Scott needs time to work and we want to maintain the element of surprise as long as we can"

He took one last look at Bucky. He hoped he was making the right call, but all he could do right now was trust his team and focus on the mission.

* * *

Bucky and Natasha crouched in their hiding place at the edge of the camp. Bucky watched as the mercenaries worked to unload the medical supplies they had stolen. From around them, they heard a hissing as dozens of tires began to deflate. The mercenaries looked around in confusion.

"Clint, go." Bucky saw a volley of arrows fly from the other side of the camp, landing in the most densely populated area. The mercenaries opened up fire in Clint's direction, but he was already on the move. Wanda threw up a barrier to keep the gas contained. Bullets bounced harmlessly off the inside of it. The gunfire stopped as the men inside the barrier lost consciousness.

"That's our cue!" Natasha said. They ran in, moving toward the center of the base. Most of the targets had been taken out by the gas and the rest were scattered, fleeing in a panicked retreat. Bucky tried not to kill anyone low level, but the leaders needed to be contained. They were harming people whose lives were already in shambles and that couldn't be allowed to continue. He and Natasha ducked behind a crate as a hail of bullets flew in their direction.

"Natasha!" Wilson called over the com. "I have a twenty on Madaki. He's close to your position. 2 o'clock."

Bucky looked to the right and saw the target with several other armed men running toward the perimeter of the camp.

"I got him!" Bucky yelled.

"Bucky!" Natasha yelled, running after him. "Stay together!"

One of the men turned and fired at them. Natasha dove for cover but Bucky blocked the shots with his metal arm and kept running. If they didn't get Madaki, the whole mission was a bust. He returned fire, wounding several of the men. A thunk from his left drew his attention. One of the mercenaries had launched a grenade at him. He deflected it upward with his hand. It exploded harmlessly above his head, but the concussion from the blast stunned him for a moment. He regained his focus and looked to find his target. The man was aiming a gun at him.

A hubcap flew from behind and knocked the target out cold. Bucky jumped to his feet and grabbed the gun before the target could come to. He saw Steve running towards him.

"Are you ok?" he asked, his voice tense.

"Yeah, fine," Bucky forced a smile. His ears were still ringing. Steve looked at Bucky with concern.

Natasha joined them. "This our guy?"

"Yeah, Clint and Wanda managed to get most of the others," Steve told her. "They're wrapping that up and Sam is chasing down any that got away."

"Hey Steve?" Wilson said over the com. "I have some movement to the west."

"UN Peacekeeping forces are about two miles out and heading your way," Sharon confirmed. "Time to wrap it up?"

"That was fast." Steve turned to the team. "Alright, let's move out."

* * *

It was a two mile hike back to the jet through the jungle. A walk like that usually wouldn't bother Bucky, but he was more exhausted than he had realized. His hair clung to his neck, plastered by sweat. Steve looked back from the front of the column and dropped back to his position.

"Are you ok?" he asked. "You look a little tired."

"It's hot," Bucky said.

"You looked a little erratic out there," Steve observed. "What's going on?"

"I'm fine," Bucky said.

Steve stopped and caught his arm. "That didn't look fine. Looked like you were trying to get yourself killed."

"It's my first mission back, I just need to work out the kinks," Bucky said defensively.

"If you need to take some time, tell me," Steve pressed him.

"I'm fine," Bucky insisted. He knew he had made some mistakes, but they had accomplished the mission. If he could just stay out in the field, things would work themselves out soon.

With a sigh, Steve released Bucky's arm. "If you say so."

Steve hurried back to the front. Natasha fell back to walk beside Bucky.

"He's just worried about you," she said. "You have been a little grumpy."

"I'm just a little tired of everyone looking at me like I'm a time bomb." He stopped her. "You'd tell me if you didn't think I could do this, wouldn't you?"

"Doesn't matter what I think," she said.

"It does to me." She was his partner. He needed to know that she thought he was trustworthy.

"Well you're the one who has to believe you can do this. If you tell me you're ok, I'll take your word for it, but be honest with me."

Bucky hesitated. "I can do this," he said finally.

"Good enough for me," Natasha said as they continued on to the jet.

* * *

Everyone settled in as the jet lifted off. Sharon leveled off as they reached cruising altitude and dimmed the lights so everyone could sleep, Bucky fought to stay awake. He was exhausted, but he didn't want to sleep during a mission. He had finally managed to get the memory from Atlanta down on paper, but acknowledging it had triggered a string of memories from Pierce's tenure. Nothing so far had triggered a reaction as severe as what had happened after the last mission, but with everyone in close quarters, he couldn't risk losing control.

He reclined his seat back a bit so that he could at least relax. As he listened to the steady hum of the engine, his breathing fell into a deep steady rhythm as his eyes drifted closed.

* * *

_His hands were secured behind his back but his legs were free. He knelt on the hard concrete floor, not daring to move. Whenever he was allowed the use of any limb, it was a test. He was not allowed to use them unless ordered. To do so would result in a far more severe punishment. Rumlow entered. He couldn't think what he had done to deserve Rumlow. He had followed his orders to the letter. The target had been eliminated. He had not been ordered to take out the SHIELD Agent protecting him. Perhaps that was his mistake. He had been given no instructions to account for her. Maybe they had wanted her left unharmed. He had shot her because she was blocking his shot and it had been the most effective way to eliminate the target. The wound might prove fatal, but she had a good chance of surviving._

" _That was a hell of a shot," Rumlow said. He grabbed the Soldier's hair and yanked his head back. "You really are as good as they say you are."_

" _The target was eliminated," the Soldier stated. He tried to keep his voice steady and neutral. He was simply delivering a mission report._

" _Yeah, and you'll be rewarded for that part," Rumlow promised. "But you left that bitch alive."_

" _I was not given orders to eliminate the escort," the Soldier stated._

_Rumlow cupped the back of his head and pulled down as he drove a knee towards the soldier's face. The mask took the brunt of the impact and saved him a broken nose, but it still hurt._

" _She saw you!" Rumlow yelled. He kicked the Soldier in the ribs and again in the groin. The soldier shifted, trying not to move too much. If he did, Rumlow might mistake it for an attack. Rumlow crouched down. "If anyone sees you, it should be because you're sticking a knife in their heart."_

_He stood up, kicking the soldier in the groin again. The soldier bit his lip until it bled as Rumlow circled around behind him. He kneed the soldier in the back of the head and kicked him in his already extended elbow. The soldier couldn't suppress a scream as he felt the joint dislocate. Fortunately Rumlow didn't mind. His punishments seemed designed to make the Soldier scream, almost as though he wanted it._

_He kicked the Soldier in the back, sending him sprawling onto the floor. The soldier knew better than to try to get up. If he was on the floor, it was because that's where he was wanted. He felt Rumlow's weight pressing the cuffs into his back._

" _No one is supposed to see you. If they see you, they come looking. HYDRA is trying to bring order to the world, but we can't do that if you lead them right to us!" Rumlow punctuated his point by driving a heel into the Soldier's back between his shoulders._

_The soldier coughed as the air was driven from his lungs. Rumlow put his full weight on the Soldiers back and stepped off to the side. He reached down and grabbed a fistful of his hair and began to drag the Soldier out the door. The soldier staggered to his feet, trying to keep up as he was pulled down the hall._

_Rumlow pulled him upright, keeping a tight grip on his hair. "You know it's not really your fault," he said smoothly. "The guy who gave you your orders is getting double what I'm giving you, but we're getting real close here, and we can't have you ruining things now."_

_The Soldier felt his arms being unlocked. Rumlow released him as he was pushed backwards. He realized as his back hit the firm vinyl that he was in the chair. Rumlow removed his mask and held out the mouthguard._

" _If you bite me, I will rip your testicles out through your mouth," Rumlow promised._

_Choking back a terrified snarl, the Soldier opened his mouth. Frightened tears clouded his vision as he bit down on the thick rubber._

" _Maybe this will teach you to be more careful," Rumlow said. "Fry him."_

_The soldier let out a choked scream as the electric paddles descended._

* * *

Natasha shook Bucky. She knew waking him up suddenly was risky, but he was in trouble. His eyes opened, looking around uncertainly. Natasha swallowed. This was the first time she had ever woken him up. The confusion in his eyes was frightening. Suddenly she understood the mood that Steve had been in lately.

"Bucky," she said, softly, trying not to disturb the others. "It's just me, it's Natasha."

Bucky tried to stand up but the restraints held him. In a panic he pulled at them

Natasha pressed a hand to his chest. "Bucky, look at me."

His eyes met hers and he paused for just a moment, long enough for her to unfastened the seat belt with the other. "See, you're free," she said, stepping back to give him some space. His breathing slowed and his gaze cleared. "You're on the jet with us. You're safe."

"Is he ok?" Sharon asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Bucky said. "It was just a dream." He stood and went to the lavatory in the back.

As the door snapped closed, Natasha came forward to the pilot chair. Steve was fast asleep beside Sharon. "Should I wake him up?"

Sharon glanced to the side. "Let him sleep, nothing happened."

"I'll talk to Bucky," Natasha said. She went to the back of the jet and put on the coffee. Bucky came out. He looked shaken, but the disorientation had passed.

"I'm making coffee if you want a cup," she said.

"Yes, please," he said quietly.

He was looking at her strangely. She smiled, trying to act as though she didn't notice. Bucky always wanted to talk after things like this happened, but she had come to realize that he wasn't always comfortable volunteering his thoughts. He needed someone to coax it out of him. She was willing to play this game if it would help him.

"We'll be home in a couple of hours. Did you get some sleep?" she asked.

Bucky nodded. "I was trying not to, but I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"Not a huge surprise," Natasha said, pouring them each a cup of coffee. "Wanda says you've been more restless than usual. A good night's sleep wouldn't go amiss."

"I wish I could," Bucky said. His steely blue eyes had a far off look to them as he sipped his coffee.

"When I first joined SHIELD, I couldn't sleep for a month," Natasha told him. "I kept a gun under my pillow and every mission Clint and I went on, I would stay up half the night looking out the window for a KGB assassin."

"How did you get past that?" he asked.

"Every now and then I still get that feeling like someone's watching me," she confessed. "I just remember that they turned me into a weapon. They're scared because I've turned it back on them."

Bucky looked at her carefully. She suddenly realize how close they were standing. In the small galley they were only inches apart.

"You tried to find me," he said. "After Odessa."

Natasha gripped her mug tightly. "You shot me and vanished without a trace. I don't like loose ends."

He squeezed his eyes shut, a pained look on his face. Taking a deep breath, he opened them. "They punished me for that," he said. "Not for failing to kill you, but for being seen. They were afraid that you would expose them."

"Is that what you were dreaming about?" she asked.

Bucky nodded. "I had a handler in SHIELD. That was part of the plan under Pierce, they were training an American based team as a backup for the Russians. He was the one they sent when I stepped too far out of line."

"Anyone I know?" Natasha asked jokingly.

Bucky shrugged. "They always called him Rumlow."

Natasha felt her stomach turn. "Brock Rumlow?"

Bucky drew back. "You know him?"

"Steve and I worked with him at SHIELD," Natasha told him. "He's dead," she added quickly.

Bucky just nodded, but Natasha could see the tension in his posture ease.

"Did he know who you were?" Natasha asked, letting her own curiosity get the better of her.

"Seems like everyone knew but me," Bucky said bitterly.

Natasha felt a chill. The thought that Rumlow had been working with them, pretending to be their friend, all while torturing Bucky, made her ill.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You know, when people ask that, they don't usually care what the answer is," Bucky said.

Natasha laughed softly. "Ok, I'm going to ask you a question and you don't have to answer, but-"

"What?" Bucky asked impatiently.

"Why didn't you kill me?"

Bucky frowned. "Which time, we're up to four now."

"You know the one I mean."

Bucky looked down at his coffee. "They didn't tell me to."

"What did they tell you?" Natasha pressed. She needed to know why she had been spared. It had been an impossible shot, impressive, but unnecessarily difficult. "You could have made that so much easier. RPG, landmine, shot me and gone after your target."

"You just weren't on my list," Bucky said. "I accomplished the mission as instructed, I got out of there. I would have killed you if you had tried to stop me."

"So the difference between life and death was how they worded the instructions," she said.

Bucky nodded.

"Natasha," Sharon called from the pilot seat before Natasha had time to contemplate what Bucky had said. She hurried up to see what Sharon wanted. Bucky joined her a moment later and handed Sharon a mug of coffee.

"SHIELD pushed through an alert," Sharon told them. "Not far away if we divert a little."

"What is it?" Bucky asked. The shaking was gone from his voice and he seemed focused now.

"Someone's planning to blow up the London Underground." Sharon said. She reached over and shook Steve awake.

"What is it?" he muttered sleepily. She handed him the tablet.

"How do we know this isn't a trap?" he yawned.

"The hostages are streaming it live with their cell phones," Natasha told him. "We have a confirmed report that the Avengers are in Columbia. They're not coming."

Steve handed the tablet back to her. "Alright, change course."

* * *

Natasha ran through the mission specs as they approached London. Everyone looked exhausted but there was no time to rest.

"We can enter the subway system through access shafts on either side of the station and approach from both sides. We'll split into two teams, I'll take Clint and Bucky, Sharon I'm going to need you on the ground this time. You're with Steve and Wanda."

Sharon nodded. Steve reached over and took her hand. He would never say it in front of her, but he often left the assignments to Natasha because if they needed Sharon, he wouldn't have the guts to put her in.

Natasha turned her attention back to the mission. "Sam, can you maneuver in those tunnels?"

"No, but I can get Redbird in," he said.

"Ok, get Scott on the train. Scott take out the hijackers and stop it if you can. The rest of us need to free the hostages from the station and get the bomb. The bomb is strapped to the rails. Presumably the plan is to run the train into it and kill both the passengers and everyone in the stations. We're talking hundreds of people, so we need to get this one right. Any questions?"

"Uh, yeah," Scott said, raising his hand. "Why haven't they shut down the power? That would at least stop the train."

"The hijackers hacked into the power grid," Sharon explained. "They're trying, but so far no luck."

"Anything else?" Natasha asked.

The team shook their heads. Natasha closed up the screen and sat back down beside Bucky.

"Are you ok," she asked quietly. "We need you out there, but if you're not sure, tell me."

"I'm ok," he said. He looked tired, but she didn't see the agitation that had been there earlier.

"Alright then. Gear up."

* * *

Steve took point as they made their way to the access point. They slipped in through a maintenance entrance and hurried toward the station. He was tired. It had been a long day already but they couldn't ignore a situation like this. This was one of the reasons he had opposed the Sokovia Accords in the first place. In theory, oversight sounded reasonable, but there were times like this when they couldn't wait to be asked. No one was coming and if they didn't intervene, hundreds of people would die.

"Steve, where are you?" Natasha asked over the comm.

"Almost there. Sam?"

"Redbird is in position. Waiting for the train."

"Alright," Natasha said. "We're in position."

"So are we," Steve told her as they approached the maintenance door.

"The train is approaching," Sam said. "Bugging it in three, two, one, now."

Steve waited for a moment. "Scott?"

"I'm on board!"

"Ok, go!" Natasha said.

Steve, Sharon and Wanda emerged from the maintenance door. Steve took a defensive position while Wanda and Sharon attacked from behind.

From the other side, Natasha Bucky and Clint burst through the door. They split, Bucky and Natasha running point while Clint covered them from behind.

"Train secure!" Scott reported.

"Good work," Natasha said. "Can you stop it?"

"Uh no, and this thing is moving pretty fast! We're coming up on the station!" Scott warned.

"Where's the bomb?" Sharon asked.

"I can see it!" Scott said. "It's strapped to the rails."

"Scott get out of there!" Steve yelled.

"I've got the bomb!" Bucky threw his opponent into the wall and ran for the tracks. Steve saw the light of the train approaching.

"Buck wait!" Steve cried running after him.

Bucky dove onto the tracks as the train approached. Steve ran towards the tracks as the train sped through the station, obscuring his view. For a few seconds, his heart froze. There was no explosion, which meant Bucky had cleared the bomb, but had he been quick enough to dodge the train? It whizzed by in a gush of air. Steve looked at the tracks. There was no sign of Bucky. From an alcove on the opposite wall, a flash of silver caught his eye. Bucky strode across the track and handed Steve the bomb before climbing up.

"Are you insane?" Steve cried. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"

Bucky glared at him. "A hundred people could have been killed!  Including us! Someone had to take it out."

"And you had to jump in front of a train to do it?" Steve yelled. He knew he wasn't thinking clearly right now, but this was the second time today that Bucky had almost gotten himself killed.

"Yes!" Bucky snarled.

"It was stupid and reckless, Bucky!" Steve yelled, shaking with anger.

Bucky opened his mouth to reply but Sharon interrupted.

"Ok, that's enough," She said firmly, grabbing Steve's arm.

The power suddenly died.

"Well that's about five minutes late," Scott muttered. "The train is stopping."

"Ok, get clear before the police arrive. Everyone evacuate the hostages, then get back to the jet," Natasha instructed. "Steve and I will deal with the bomb."

Steve started to protest but Natasha cut him off with a glance. She was in charge of the mission and it was her call. She waited until the others were clear before turning to him.

"You need to calm down, Steve," she said without preamble. "I know it's been a long day, but this attitude of yours is just making everyone edgy, including Bucky."

"He jumped in front of a train, Nat! And back in Chad he nearly got himself killed!"

"Nearly", she said. "And if he hadn't jumped for the bomb we'd all be dead."

Steve looked at her, trying to come up with a response. She was right, but Bucky's behavior still had him worried. He took a deep breath. They still had a job to do and arguing with Nat wasn't going to help things.

"So what's your plan for this bomb?" he asked.

"If I use an electro disk do you think it would disable it or set it off?"

Steve shrugged. "Only one way to find out."

"How much of a blast can that shield withstand?"

Steve removed it and changed the shape to cover the bomb. "Should be enough."

Natasha took out a disk and held it above the bomb. "On three."

* * *

Natasha was still awake as they flew home. Clint was piloting and she was in the copilots seat. The other's slept soundly, exhausted from the missions. She had managed to convince Steve that Bucky's actions in London had been the best course available to them. She couldn't defend his behavior in Africa, but she was confident that he would come through this if they just gave him a chance to work things out.

"Can you take over for a second?" Clint asked.

Natasha switched the controls to her side as Clint headed back. He returned a few minutes later with a cup of coffee in each hand.

"What's up?" he asked, handing her one. Clint always seemed to know when she was troubled.

Natasha glanced behind her. "Bucky."

"What is it with that guy?" Clint asked lightheartedly. "I heard he was a charmer, but he seems to have you and Wanda wrapped around his little finger."

"Jealous?" she teased. She took a deep breath. "Did you ever get the full story on Atlanta?"

"The gist of it. Enough to know I don't want to hear all the gory details."

Natasha absently stirred her coffee. "You know for a minute there, I was almost a little envious of him. All the things he did, I thought he never had a choice. I thought they just erased who he was and programmed him like a robot, and there was a part of me that envied that. Turns out they couldn't erase everything. They took the tiny shred of him that was left after forty years and they made him believe in what they were doing."

"He still never had a choice, and neither did you." Clint said. He had figured her out. He always did. "With you they started with a blank canvas, they had to paint over him, but the Black Widow and the Winter Soldier, they were both someone else's creation. You just did what you were made to do."

"I'm not sure that makes me feel better."

Clint shrugged. "Probably shouldn't, but you're here now, and all those people who used to pull the strings, where are they?"

Natasha looked at him. "They may be gone, but the strings are still there. Its terrifying to know that they brought you to their side, because who's to say they can't do it again."

"Me," Clint said. "I brought you in and I'll be damned if I'm letting you go. And I guess we'll keep him too since he's already here."

Natasha smiled as Clint turned his attention back to the controls. Natasha kicked her feet up on the dashboard and sipped her coffee.

* * *

The team arrived home that evening, exhausted. Most everyone hurried upstairs to fight over the shower or go to bed, but Steve took advantage of the distraction to slip downstairs. He just wanted to be alone right now. He fastened the boxing gloves on his hands, thinking back on the mission.

It had been a long one for all of them, but Bucky had him worried. Maybe he was looking for problems after Atlanta, but Bucky's behavior had seemed erratic. From anyone else, he might have ignored it, or simply put it down to adrenaline or fatigue, but twice now Bucky had run blindly into a life or death encounter. The idea of Bucky risking his life wasn't the problem, but the impulsive way he ran in was something Steve hadn't seen before. Bucky had always been the one to hang back and assess the situation while Steve ran headlong into danger.

"Hey Steve," Sam called down. "Sharon's looking for you. It's your night to cook dinner."

Steve stopped punching the bag and looked up. "Can you tell her you didn't see me. I'll run out and get KFC in a bit."

"That might buy you some time, but it's not a big house." He came down into the basement. "Something up?"

"Bucky." Steve went back to punching the bag.  "Am I being crazy?"

Sam shrugged. "You know what I think about it."

"Seriously, do you think he was out of line or am I just overreacting."

Sam shrugged. "I honestly don't know on this one. It wasn't the smartest thing to do, but it worked, and I don't think we had a lot of other options."

Steve sighed. "He just ran in without thinking. I'm not sure he even stopped to consider an alternative."

"Wonder where he learned that," Sam mused.

Steve caught the bag. "That's what has me worried. Bucky was always the one there to talk sense into me."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but maybe it was an anomaly. It was his first mission back, maybe it'll sort itself out."

"Maybe," Steve conceded, taking off the gloves.

"I was never really comfortable letting him join the team in the first place, but unless this becomes a pattern, I think we just need to let him figure it out on his own."

"Yeah, I guess," Steve said. He went to the fridge and took out a couple of beers. "So what, you think 15 minutes before Sharon finds me?"

Sam took a bottle. "We could probably stretch it to 30 if we're real quiet."

Steve sat down on the couch and took a sip. "You and I haven't really spent much time together since Bucky showed up," he said. Since Bucky's arrival, he had been neglecting his friendship with Sam. Bucky needed him right now, but sometimes he felt like he was putting his own life on hold to help him.

"Hey man, I get it."

"Still, I kind of missed this."

"Me too," Sam said. "Not sure what we're going to talk about though. We see each other all the time."

"You know, I don't think I ever got the full story on how you know Scott."

Sam threw his head back with a groan. "Damn, I was hoping to keep that one to myself."

* * *

_Rumlow closed the book and handed it back to the technician. He put his hand on his gun, ready to draw it if the Soldier stepped out of line. "Soldier?"_

" _Ready to comply," the Soldier said._

" _Alright, this is going to be a long one. HYDRA is launching Project Insight in a week. Until then, we need to make sure that we don't have any problems, or everything we've worked for is going to come to nothing."_

_He handed the Soldier a file. The Soldier opened it to find a picture of a bald, African-American man with an eye patch._

" _Target is a squirrely old bastard. We have a team in place but I almost guarantee you he's going to slip the net. Wait at your position. We'll try to make it look like an arrest gone wrong. If we can't eliminate the target we'll chase him to you."_

" _Understood."_

_Rumlow grabbed the Soldier's hair, forcing his head back. "No mistakes this time. If he gets away from you, stay on him until he's dead. You really don't want to see what I'm going to do if you fuck this up."_

_The Soldier didn't answer but Rumlow was right, he didn't want to see that._

" _Alright, move out."_

Bucky woke up with a gasp, shaking at the memory of what had happened next. They had left him out too long and he had become unstable, then the chair. It had been the last time, but he had had no way of knowing that. He rubbed his face, wiping off a film of sweat, and looked over to see Steve sleeping soundly. They hadn't spoken about the mission since returning home, but he could tell Steve was worried. Bucky had to admit, it was probably justified.

He took a deep breath. He needed to get control of himself. This wasn't HYDRA. He wouldn't be wiped or beaten for failing a mission, but if he couldn't get it together, Steve would take him off the team. He hated to admit that Wilson might be right. He probably shouldn't be in the field right now, but it was the only distraction he had from his nightmares. He feared the silence and what might find it's way in when he was alone. As sleep took him again, he prayed that it would be dreamless.

* * *

Tony sat in the conference room, struggling not to roll his eyes as the UN representative droned on.

"The Sokovia Accords were intended to bring people like you under control. If we can't enforce them, they become meaningless," the man finished.

Hope smiled at the man the way she did right before she was about to attack. "I'm a little confused as to why we weren't called in to deal with the supply theft to begin with. This could have been handled a month ago with a third of the casualties."

The representative scowled indignantly at her. "Intervention by the Avengers was deemed unnecessary and the intervention by Steve Rogers and his accomplices was unlawful. You have one month to bring them in or we will do it by any means necessary."

The screen went dark. For a moment the Avengers sat in silence.

Tony leaned back in his chair. "Ok, no more screwing around."

Hope turned to Rhodey. "I wasn't screwing around, were you?"

"Nope." Rhodey shook his head. "We do need a plan though."

"I'm working on it," Tony said. "We've tried trapping them, we've tried tailing them, if you have a better idea I'm all ears Thumbelina."

"I've said it before, stake out the hanger."

"Last time we cornered them on an airport it didn't end so well," Rhodey told her.

"Yeah well, we'll call that plan Q," Tony conceded.

"Oh it's moving up the list." Hope quipped.

Tony sighed. "Vision?"

Vision shook his head. "I'm afraid I have nothing to offer."

"Well we have one month before this ends in a bloodbath, everyone think really hard."

**-End-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Thanks to JayRain for the medical supply theft idea. Hope the last chapter didn't spoil you for speed. This is a complex story and the longer it gets, the more work it takes to maintain the quality. If updates take more time than expected, it's because I need to make sure the story is doing what it needs to.
> 
> We've entered kind of a heavy phase of the story, If you're craving something lighter, I have a side series called Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. It's a series of short stories set before or in between the chapters of Daybreak. It updates sporadically as ideas come to me.


	16. First Date

Bucky watched the door of the warehouse through his rifle scope. After the last mission, Natasha had subtly suggested that they use him as a sniper. Bucky was fine with it as long as they didn't make him stay home.

"Bucky," Steve said over the comm. "There are two making a break for it. Heading your way."

"I got 'em." Bucky aimed, waiting for the targets to appear. He let them enter the narrow alley before shooting each of them in the knee. "Targets down."

"Alright, that's the last of them," Steve said, "Prague Police are on their way. Everyone move out."

Bucky slung his rifle over his shoulder. The targets had been part of a human trafficking ring that the UN had been chasing for months. The apprehension might not be entirely legal, but most of the targets had outstanding warrants in multiple countries. They would be off the streets, even if it wasn't for this crime.

"There's a train to Ostrava in 30 minutes," Natasha said. "If we hurry we can make it."

"What's your rush?" Barton asked. "It's early, we could walk around Prague a bit."

"I've seen it." Bucky said.

"The last time you were here it was still Czechoslovakia," Natasha teased him.

Bucky frowned. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"You do know the Czech Republic and Slovakia split up, right?" Wilson said.

"When?"

"1993," Wanda told him.

"I'm only up to the early 80's, give me a break," Bucky muttered.

"You could just look at a map so you know where the hell we are," Wilson suggested.

"We're in Prague," Bucky said. "I know where Prague is, or did they change that too?"

"Oh man, did they? Because I kind of slept through Geography last semester."

Bucky whirled around to find Spider-man behind him. He drew his pistol and fired. The shot missed, but it distracted the kid long enough for Bucky to run.

"We have company!" he yelled, sliding down the roof. "Avengers!"

"Everyone scatter," Steve ordered. "Meet back at the rendezvous."

Bucky dropped to the ground and ran through the narrow streets. Spider-man was faster and stronger than he was, but the kid was dumb, even a year hadn't fixed that. Bucky knew how to find the escape routes and disappear. He just had to keep the kid off balance long enough to lose him.

 

* * *

 

The team scattered. Steve hated running, but he wanted to avoid a fight if he could. Even though they outnumbered Tony's team seven to four, the Avengers still had them outgunned. If they split up, the Avengers would have to stretch themselves too thin to pursue Steve's team effectively. Steve ran out the back of the warehouse and into the alley to find Tony blocking his escape.

"Stop right there!" Tony ordered. Steve stopped, but stayed ready to run. "You're under arrest."

"And you're starting to sound like a broken record," Steve said irritably. He didn't have the patience for this debate at the moment.

"Help me out here, Rogers," Tony pleaded. "Or the next people they send aren't going to ask."

"You keep saying that, but they keep sending you," Steve said sharply, looking around the alley for something to use as a weapon. He really missed the shield sometimes.

"Turn yourself in now or someone is going to wind up dead!" Tony demanded.

"You know, I'm really not in the mood for this right now, Tony!" Steve picked up a cinder block and hurled it at him, striking him squarely in the chest plate. It shattered harmlessly against the armor.

"Me either!" Tony hit him with a repulsor blast, knocking him into a wall. Steve slumped to the ground, stunned.

"Surrender," Tony repeated. "Last warning."

"You keep saying that too," Steve heard Scott say over the comm. Suddenly, he appeared in front of Tony, expanding to his giant size and slamming Tony against the wall. "Run!"

Steve took off. Scott followed, taking a few steps before shrinking down to land on his shoulder.

"Thanks for that," Steve said. "I didn't even know you were there."

"I always do that when we're running from these guys," Scott told him. "You're faster than me."

 

* * *

 

Bucky ran through the streets. He had managed to lose Spider-man for the moment, but he needed to get out of sight. As he turned a corner, he saw Wanda standing in the road staring at the red guy. Bucky drew his pistol and fired, hitting the red man between the eyes. He had forgotten to bring the EMP rounds but he only needed to distract him. He ran out and grabbed Wanda.

"I thought we cleared this up last time," he said, pulling her away.

With a last glance back, she followed him down a narrow street. Spider-Man landed in front of them. Wanda waved her hands and ripped a fire escape from the side of the building, blocking his path. Spider-man leapt up to the roof as they headed back down the street and turned the corner. Bucky spotted a storm drain and pried off the cover.

"Down here."

He and Wanda dropped into the sewer. Wanda reached out with her powers to put the cover back. They hurried through the pipe. As they came to an intersection, they saw Barton and Natasha approaching.

"Hey, look what the cat dragged in," Nat said.

"Who's following you?" Barton asked.

"Vision and Spider-Man but I think we lost them," Bucky reported.

"We got away clean," Natasha said. "Tony went after Steve and Rhodey was chasing Sam."

"Well, let's hope they can shake them. We need to get to the rendezvous point," Barton said as they headed through the sewer.

 

* * *

 

"FRIDAY," Tony groaned. "Run a full body scan."

"No problems detected."

"You sure about that?" Tony sat up, his body aching. "I lost Rogers and the little guy. Is anyone still in pursuit?"

"Negative," Vision replied.

"Negative," Hope said.

"I have Falcon but I don't think I can stay on him," Rhodey reported.

"I was chasing the Winter Soldier, but I think I lost him," Spider-man said.

"Ok, everyone head back to the hotel," Tony instructed. "We'll regroup and come up with a Plan B."

"I thought this was Plan B," Rhodey quipped. Tony ignored him and took to the air.

 

* * *

 

Steve leaned back against the wall of the tower where he and Scott were hiding. They had evaded Iron Man, but it had been a close call. "Scott, can you check if they're gone?"

Scott shrank down and ran outside to look. Steve shut his eyes for a moment, hoping that when he opened them, the last few weeks might all be a bad dream. Between Bucky and Tony he was at his limit. Ever since the Sokovia Accords, his life had been one crisis after another. It seemed like things had been that way since he joined the Army, but at least when he was with the Avengers he got a break every once in awhile. These days it felt like he was constantly on high alert.

"We're clear, Steve," Scott said, jumping out of the window and into Steve's belt.

With a weary sigh, Steve stood up and slipped out of the building, heading for the rendezvous point.

* * *

 

Steve, Scott and Sam were already back at the hostel when the other's came in. They looked tired and they smelled like they had had a long walk back.

Natasha flopped down onto her bunk at the hostel. "That was unpleasant."

"I'm going to take a shower," Bucky said, grabbing a towel to cover his arm in the hallway.

"Me too," Wanda said.

"Good idea," Bucky teased. "You smell like a sewer."

Wanda threw a towel at him and chased him down the hall.

"Does it seem to anyone like Tony keeps waiting to arrest us?" Clint asked. "I'm pretty sure they were there earlier and they decided to let us finish."

"Maybe," Steve said, changing out of his uniform. "I'm don't really want to hang around and find out. Everyone get some sleep, our train to Ostrava leaves at 5:30."

"AM?" Scott asked.

"Yes Scott," Steve sighed tiredly. "AM, and from there we still have a half hour hike to where we parked the jet."

"This clandestine thing is a pain in the ass," Sam said.

"Well until Tony decides he's ready to kiss and make up we'll have to deal with it, so everyone get some rest" Natasha said. She sniffed her uniform. "I'm going to take a shower too. Wouldn't kill you either Clint."

Steve settled onto the worn mattress and pulled the covers up. "Do whatever you want, just be quiet about it," he muttered as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Tony poured a mini bottle into his glass and sat down.

"Are you sure we shouldn't be out there looking for them?" Hope asked.

"If you want to fly aimlessly around Prague, be my guest," Tony said. He sipped his glass, grimacing as the cheap whiskey burned his throat.

"I realize we've had a few disagreements over this," Hope said. "But we're on a clock here. I don't want to wake up and read that Scott was stepped on because we couldn't close the deal."

"And the alternative is prison," Tony reminded her. "Are you ok with that?"

"I'm warming up to the idea," she admitted wryly. "The jet is still outside Ostrava. Maybe we should just go there and wait for them."

Rhodey shook his head. "Our best chance is to split them up and take them out one or two at a time. If we try to take them on together it's going to be a repeat of Algeria, and once school starts back, they'll outnumber us 2 to 1."

"It already started," Spider-man said. "We had a three day weekend."

Rhodey looked at him. "Please tell me you're in college."

Tony pulled up the train schedule. "Well my guess is they're taking the train tomorrow morning. That gives us about eight hours to come up with a plan."

"Couldn't we just wait for them at the train station?" Parker suggested.

"I don't want to confront them in a confined space with civilians present." Tony told him. Rogers would never hurt innocent bystanders, but accidents happened. The main reason the Sokovia Accords existed was to minimize collateral damage.

The team was silent for a moment. Being able to track Rogers and his team gave them an advantage, but they were still no closer to actually catching them. He agreed with Rhodey that confronting them at the jet would end badly, but they would have to do something soon or badly might be the best they could hope for.

Vision stood. "If you will excuse me, I think I will go for a walk."

"Do you want some company?" Hope asked.

"If it's all the same, I think I would rather be alone," he said. He phased through the door of the hotel suite.

Tony frowned. Vision had been acting strangely for weeks. Ever since the mission in Chicago, he had seemed preoccupied with something. Tony had a few guesses, but Vision's mind was still largely a mystery.

"Hey Webhead, go follow him," Tony said.

Parker hesitated. "That kind of seems like an invasion of privacy."

"I'll write you a recommendation to MIT," Tony offered.

"I'm holding you to that," Parker said as he jumped out of the window.

 

* * *

 

_The Soldier looked through the scope at his target's apartment. In the street below, a woman entered the apartment building. He had been briefed to expect this. The target was defecting to SHIELD. He was a KGB Agent with ties to HYDRA. The Soldier was to eliminate the target before he could leave the building. Unfortunately, the man was smart enough to stay out of sight. His curtains were drawn but the light shown through the thin material. The Soldier could just make out the door._

_It opened and the woman entered the apartment. She had brown hair and fierce eyes. He felt a tug at his mind, a feeling of familiarity. She stood in his view, surveying the apartment. Suddenly her body language changed. They were having an argument. Something flew across the room toward her. Calculating the origin point in his head, the Soldier fired five times into the wall. The woman drew her gun and ran to the window but the Soldier was already on the move. He ran to the roof of the building and leapt across the street to the target's building. He found the roof access and opened the door. At the top of the stairs, he heard high heels clacking against the wooden steps as the Agent descended._

_He waited for a moment and slipped downstairs, his knife drawn. His orders had been to confirm the death of the target. It had been a risky shot and if he had missed, he would need to finish the job. Pushing the door open he saw that he had no cause to worry. The left side of the man's skull had been blown apart. His mission complete, the Soldier slipped off into the night._

 

* * *

 

Bucky gasped softly as he awoke. He had been expecting that dream. It was a memory he had already pieced together. The agent had been Peggy Carter, their second encounter. Her journals had helped fill in some of the gaps once he realized who it had been. It had occurred here in Prague in 1970, just a few years after their first meeting. They had not expected her to collect the defector herself or he would have been ordered to kill her too. He stared at the ceiling, taking a series of deep breaths to calm his nerves. It had been a routine mission, shots fired, target eliminated, back in stasis.

Bucky looked at the window and noticed Wanda standing there. Before he could say anything to her, she opened it and slipped out. Bucky looked around the room, but everyone else was fast asleep. He waited a minute and slipped out after her. Wanda could protect herself, but seeing her sneak out in the middle of the night worried him. With the Avengers still in the city he didn't feel right letting her go off alone.

She didn't seem to notice him as he tailed her through the streets. He followed her to a park on the river banks. She sat down on a bench, looking around as though she were expecting someone. Bucky hid in a tree close by, waiting to see what would happen. A few minutes later, a man in a dark cardigan approached. As he drew closer, Bucky recognized the Vision.

"Wanda," he said in a flat tone. She stood, a bright smile on her face.

"Viz, I wasn't sure you'd come."

"I apologize. It took longer than expected for me to leave." Vision held up a bag and a cup. "I brought you coffee and a pastry that Col Rhodes assures me I'm missing out on."

Bucky suppressed a groan. They were in the middle of a mission and the stupid kid was on a date.

Wanda took the coffee and the bag . "Thank you, Viz. Do you want to sit down?"

Wanda sat back down on the bench and took the pastry out of the bag. Vision sat awkwardly on the opposite end with his hands folded neatly in his lap. He looked straight ahead, sneaking an occasional glance at Wanda.

Wanda bit into the pastry. "Rhodey was right. You are missing out on this."

"Sometimes I wish I needed to eat," Vision mused. "Everyone seems to derive such enjoyment from it and people attach such strong memories to certain foods."

"Well, not everything tastes this good," she told him. "Like Scott's cooking."

Vision laughed. "I have missed you Wanda."

Wanda's hands sank to her lap. "I miss you too Vision."

He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't wish to spend this time rehashing old arguments but you could still come back. You could sign the Accords and rejoin the team."

Wanda looked down at her coffee. "How many missions have they sent you on?"

"Twenty-six since you've left. Eleven of those have been attempts to capture you or others like you."

"They're using you like a glorified police force for Enhanced People."

"Yes," Vision acknowledged, "but that is what we agreed to."

"And you like that?"

Vision shook his head. "That part, no, but we are still helping to protect the world."

"So are we," Wanda said.

Vision looked at her intently. "And while I despise the conflict it has created among us, I feel more secure knowing that. Logically, I understand the need for oversight, but I do not agree with the specific limitations imposed by the current board appointed to oversee us."

Wanda frowned. "And yet you still think the Accords are the right thing."

Vision nodded. "In principle, yes, but I think the system of oversight should be revised. Even Mr Stark agrees with that."

"But you do still think we need to be reigned in," Wanda pressed.

"I do," Vision asserted. "But we need to have a larger voice in how we are used. The members of the oversight committee are not well informed of our various abilities. They often fear to deploy us because they misunderstand what we are capable of, both good and bad."

Wanda sipped her coffee and gagged. "Vision, how much sugar did you put in this?"

"Is it too much?"

"Just a bit," Wanda said, setting the cup aside.

He smiled. "I will reduce it next time."

"It was sweet of you," Wanda said, laying a hand on his.

"I admit I wasn't sure of the social convention," Vision admitted timidly. "I asked Captain Rogers once and he said that buying a woman a cup of coffee was an appropriate gesture."

Bucky had to stifle a laugh at the idea of Steve handing out dating advice.

Wanda straightened, looking at Vision uncertainly. "Viz, is this a date?"

"I'm not entirely certain what to call it," Vision confessed. "I've never been on a date."

"Neither have I, actually." Wanda told him. Bucky rolled his eyes. He felt like he was chaperoning his little sister.

Behind him, Bucky heard a twig snap. He dropped out of the tree silently and hurried in the direction of the sound. A few yards away, his feet were suddenly swept out from under him. He was yanked up into a tree. The red and blue wall climber dropped onto the branch in front of him.

"Hi, I don't think I got your name last time. I'm Spider-man."

"I don't fucking care!" Bucky whispered.

"Woah, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"My mother died in 1974," Bucky retorted.

"Wow, sorry, that was inconsiderate," Spider-man apologized. "I forgot you were like, old. I mean, not that being 100 is a bad thing, you look great for your age, whatever you're doing, it's working for you."

Bucky stared at him, flabbergasted. "Do you get paid by the word?"

"No, they're actually not paying me." Spider-Man prattled on. "Well, Mr Stark funds my equipment, but it's more of a volunteer gig."

Bucky just stared at him.

"Anyway, have you seen the Vision, the red guy? He's gone and Mr Stark sent me to find him."

Bucky slowly moved his hand toward the knife in the back of his waistband. "Can't say I have."

"Ok, well, could you hang out here while I look?" Spider-man asked. "Mr Stark probably wants me to bring you in too."

"No!" Bucky cried. He unsheathed the knife and flipped up to cut the webbing. Some of it remained tangled around his feet and tripped him up on the landing.

"Oh come on, I'm already on thin ice after that train incident in Chicago!"

"Not my problem Queens!"

Bucky cut off the webbing and ran. Spider-man landed in front of him. Bucky kicked him into a tree and ran back to Wanda. He found her and Vision poised to attack.

"Time to go!" he said, taking her hand. She didn't move.

"Bucky? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, but the spider guy followed him and we need to leave."

Vision grabbed Bucky's arm. "Sergeant Barnes, I apologize, but I will have to take you in."

Bucky felt a surge of panic as he struggled against Vision's grip. He tried to pry Visions fingers off with his metal hand but they wouldn't budge. Wanda's hands glowed red.

"Vision, don't make me fight you," she pleaded.

Vision looked at her sadly. "That is the last thing I want, but for his own safety Sergeant Barnes should be in a psychiatric facility."

"Let go of me!" Bucky screamed, punching Vision with his metal hand. The Vision remained still, never taking his eyes from Wanda.

"He needs to be with us," Wanda insisted. "You just told me you don't trust the people giving you orders. If you trust me, you'll let him stay with us."

Vision looked at Wanda for a moment, then turned insubstantial. Bucky slipped through and backed away, his heart racing.

"Thank you," Wanda said with a faint smile.

Vision looked at her longingly. "I enjoyed our time together, however brief."

"Let's go!" Bucky urged her. "The other guy will be here in a-" Spider-man swung down from a light pole and kicked Bucky into the river. Wanda waved a hand and severed the webbing when he was at the arc of his swing. She lifted Bucky back onto dry land and ran. Bucky followed closely behind.

"You were following me!" Wanda accused him.

"You snuck out in the middle of the night during a mission. Yes I was following you!" Bucky led her down to the subway. "If we get split up, go anywhere but the hostel. We can't compromise that."

"Vision just wanted to talk," she said.

"And Stark sent Spider-brat out after him. I'm sorry the Accords are getting in the way of your little romance but you can't risk exposing the team like that!"

The train pulled up and they ran aboard the car, taking a seat in the back.

"I sympathize," Bucky said in a softer tone, "but if we'd been captured, the team could have been compromised."

"I hate this," Wanda said. Bucky could hear the frustration in her voice. "The Accords, being a fugitive, having to hide all the time. I miss the Avengers."

"Believe me," Bucky said. "I wish things were different too, but they're not." For a moment he let himself imagine what might have been if Steve had found him before the Accords. Even a few weeks could have made a world of difference.

"And I miss Vision," Wanda said in a tight voice.

Bucky could see tears glistening in her eyes. He put an arm around her and she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"You still have us," he reminded her, kissing her gently on the forehead.

 

* * *

 

Bucky and Wanda tiptoed down the hall to their room. If they could just slip back in unnoticed, they could forget this whole night ever happened.

"Are you going to tell Steve about this?" Wanda asked.

Bucky paused to consider for a minute. Before he could answer the door opened.

"Bucky, Wanda! Where the hell have you been?" Steve demanded. "I've had Sam out looking for an hour!"

"I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk," Bucky said without thinking as they came into the room. "Wanda followed me."

"Sam, they're back, you can come in," Natasha said into the comm.

"We're in the middle of a mission, Bucky!" Steve berated him. "What if you'd been captured? If you want to be on the team you can't just take off like that."

"That's not what happened," Wanda blurted out. "I'm the one who left. He followed me to be sure I was ok."

Bucky cursed under his breath. Steve snapped his eyes back to Bucky. "And where did she go?"

"I went down to the river," Wanda said.

Steve held up a finger. "I'm asking him." He turned back to Bucky. "You just lied to me. You want me to trust you, but you can't even tell me the truth?"

Bucky felt his mouth go dry. He couldn't remember Steve being angry with him before, at least not like this.

"Hey Steve," Natasha interrupted. "Do you maybe want to save this for tomorrow when you're not exhausted?"

"No, I want a straight answer," Steve insisted.

Bucky glared back at him. "What, are we back to the war, with you giving me orders?" Things had been tense between them since Atlanta, but he was tired of Steve treating him like this.

Steve stared back at him, undaunted. "Well it sure as hell ain't Brooklyn."

"That's enough, Steve." Natasha said firmly, dragging Steve to the other side of the room. "We can deal with this later. We need to move."

"Ok." Steve said. "Pack it up, we're moving out in 15 minutes. Nat you're with Scott, Clint, you go with Wanda, Bucky you're with me."

"Maybe Nat should take Barnes," Barton suggested.

"Might want to move up that timetable, Steve! We have inbound," Wilson said.

"Fuck!" Steve snapped. "Sam don't wait for us. Get out of here. Nat you're with Scott. Everyone scramble. Rendezvous point in 20 minutes or you're on your own."

Bucky followed Steve out the window. They jumped to the roof below and ran along the ridge.

"You were followed!" he accused Bucky.

"You think?" Bucky said

"You don't get to joke right now!" Steve snarled.

"I was covering for Wanda," Bucky explained. "She was afraid you'd be angry."

"I guess she's clairvoyant too! Where did she go?"

"She went to meet up with  the red guy," he said. "I wouldn't have covered for her if I had known they followed us."

"That's beside the point! If I can't trust you to tell me the truth, how can I trust you with a sniper rifle?"

"I'm getting tired of everyone treating me like a rabid dog!" Bucky snarled.

"You are, Bucky!" Steve yelled, skidding to a halt. Bucky stopped in his tracks. He felt as though he had been punched in the gut.

"You're sick," Steve continued. "It's not your fault but we can't just act like everything's back to normal! Half the time you're fine and half the time you're catatonic in the basement and it scares the hell out of me! Sometimes I don't even know if you're going to be there when I wake up! I feel like I have no idea who you are anymore and if you lie to me how am I supposed to know if you're ok or not?"

Bucky stared at Steve, at a loss for words.

Steve clenched his fist. "You went too far, Bucky," he said, his voice shaking. "You're off the team."

Bucky felt his breath catch in his throat. Steve turned away without another word and they continued on to the train station in silence.

 

* * *

 

"Stark, I have eyes on them," Hope reported. "Rogers and Barnes just arrived. Scott, Romanoff, and Wilson are already on board the train."

"Any sign of Barton or Maximoff?" Rhodey asked.

"Not yet, but they're probably on their way."

Tony sighed. "Alright, if they're at the train station we'll let them go for now."

"Do we want to catch them at the jet?" Rhodey asked.

"No, come back in," Tony said, looking at Vision. "We need to have a team meeting."

 

* * *

 

Steve opened the door to the compartment. "Stay here," he ordered. "I'm going to look for the others."

Bucky sat down wearily, still stunned by what Steve had said. The worst thing was that Steve was right. It hurt to hear it from him, but it was true. Since he'd arrived, Steve had been the one sticking up for him, and one impulsive move had destroyed all the work he had done to rebuild the connection they had once had. Back in the war, Steve had been in charge, but he had never ordered Bucky around like a new recruit. Usually their actions had been done in unspoken agreement. Things were different, and until now, neither of them had been willing to see it.

Bucky leaned his head back. He had never really seen Steve as an authority figure and Steve had never treated Bucky like a subordinate, but for Steve, the war had been over for five years. They had both clung to the hope that they could step back into that old dynamic, but somewhere in the intervening years, things had changed. Steve had a new team to lead and Bucky was just a liability.

The door opened and Wanda came in. Barton stood outside the door as she took a seat across from Bucky.

"I'm not mad at you Wanda but it was stupid. None of us like this, but you can't just go running off like that. Tony doesn't exactly have a sense of humor about this," Barton said. He looked at Bucky. "Steve around?"

"Looking for you guys."

Barton nodded. "I'm going to assume he told you to stay here."

Bucky nodded.

"Ok then, Nat and Scott are in the next compartment if you need anything." Barton closed the door, leaving him alone with Wanda.

Wanda looked at her hands, playing with the hem of her jacket. "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to get in trouble. I think I made things worse."

"Yep." Bucky said. He looked at her curiously. "What's the deal with that guy anyway? He isn't even human."

Wanda's eyes narrowed and her hands began to glow. Bucky felt a tug at his arm and had a knife in his other hand before he realized he had reached for it. Wanda flinched and released him. Bucky sheathed the knife.

"Sorry," she said. "I didn't realize I was doing that."

"You have a real soft spot for him," Bucky said gently.

Wanda looked out the window. "I guess I do. He's one of the few people who isn't afraid of me."

Bucky sighed. "Well someone besides Steve needs to give him dating advice. You looked like a couple of 12 year olds out there." A faint smile crept across his lips. "Back in my day, if you liked a girl, you made a little more effort than a stale pastry and a cup of milk foam."

Wanda laughed, the sparkle returning to her eye. "You're very old fashion sometimes."

"Things can't have changed that much." Bucky eyed her thoughtfully. "You could use a little practice too."

Wanda gave him a strange look. "Who practices for a date?"

"Everyone needs practice," Bucky insisted.

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"Sure," Bucky shrugged, flashing her a smile.

"After I just told you I like Vision?"

"Doesn't have to mean anything, just a fellow showing a lady a nice time," Bucky said. "My intentions are completely innocent."

Wanda smirked. "And that's how you ask?"

"I've been told some of my pick up lines are a bit dated," he admitted.

"Maybe you need some practice," she teased.

Bucky grinned. "Wanda, can I buy you breakfast?"

She glanced nervously at the door. "We're supposed to stay here."

"I doubt we could get in anymore trouble than we're in, but I'll leave a note." Bucky took a journal out of his backpack and started to tear out a page. He stopped, instead writing a message on a blank page and laying the journal open on the seat. If he left this, Steve would know he was coming back.

Bucky offered Wanda his arm. "Well, let's go." 

 

* * *

 

Steve listened carefully as the team debated Bucky and Wanda's actions. He had all but made up his mind, but Clint and Natasha seemed to be going back and forth about the severity of the situation.

"I had a talk with Wanda on the way over here," Clint said. "She seemed apologetic."

Steve shook his head. "That's not good enough. She put everyone in danger by running off like that."

"She's a kid Steve," Clint argued. "She made a dumb mistake and snuck out to see her boyfriend."

"At some point that stops being an excuse Clint," Natasha argued. "What if it had been a trap?"

"You think Vision would hurt any of us?" Clint asked.

"No," Natasha said. "But what if Tony had been there? He never would have let Bucky leave."

"Barnes made his own mistakes," Clint said. "Don't blame Wanda for that."

"If she hadn't left, he wouldn't have followed and we wouldn't have had to look for them," Natasha pointed out.

"So what, are you going to kick her off the team?" Clint asked.

"I'm thinking about it," Steve said heatedly. "Bucky too."

"Don't you think that's a little severe?" Scott asked hesitantly.

"I didn't want him on the team in the first place," Sam said, "but all he did was go after Wanda to make sure she was safe. I don't think that should get him booted."

"He lied to me about where he had been," Steve pointed out. Tailing her he understood, forgetting to mention it was excusable, lying about it was what worried him.

Natasha shrugged.  "I lie to you all the time."

"He was covering for Wanda," Scott said. "I think we all would have done the same."

"It's not just this," Steve admitted. Bucky's behavior over the last few weeks had been erratic and he could no longer pretend it was an isolated occurrence. "You've all been telling me for months that he's not the guy I used to know and I'm just starting to realize exactly what that means. For everyone's safety, including his, we can't have him on the team."

"I think you're overreacting just a bit," Natasha said.

"Fine," Steve conceded. "Bucky and Wanda are suspended for the next three missions. After that, we'll reevaluate things. Any arguments?"

The team shook their heads. Clint stood up.

"Well, if we're in agreement, I'll bring in the accused."

Steve shook his head. "I'll talk to them alone, I don't want them to feel like we're ganging up on them."

"I think putting them in the isolation booth did that already," Natasha said.

Steve rolled his eyes and went to the next compartment. He opened the door to find it empty.

"They're gone!" he cried. Everyone filed out of the other compartment. "Sam, you and I will go to the front, Nat, Clint you take the back, Scott stay here in case they come back." Steve started down the corridor.

"Hey Captain Oblivious," Clint called. "They're in the dining car, they left a note." He handed him Bucky's notebook.

Steve took a deep breath. Bucky had left the journal intentionally as a sign not to worry. "Ok stay here. I'll get them."

Steve headed back to the dining car. He needed to sleep. Losing his temper again wasn't going to solve anything, but he was at the end of his patience. This new side of Bucky frightened him. Steve had always been the rash one, with Bucky keeping him in check. He wanted to believe that Bucky would be alright if they just gave him some time, but he wasn't sure anymore.

He opened the door to the dining car and looked around for them. They were seated at a table on the other side. Steve started to head over, but stopped. There was something familiar about the scene in front of him. Finally, he noticed they were both laughing. For the first time in months, Wanda looked like she was having fun. Bucky looked carefree and confident like he used to before the war.

Suddenly it dawned on him. They were on a date. Bucky probably hadn't been on a date since the war, and Wanda had spent most of her childhood in a war zone. This might be her first. Steve sat down at a table in the corner and hid behind a menu. He pulled his hat further down his face and opened Bucky's journal to a blank page.

 

* * *

 

Bucky and Wanda could hear muffled voices as they tiptoed past the other compartment.

"I guess they're still talking," Wanda said.

"That's not going to be pleasant," Bucky groaned.

They opened the door to their compartment and found Steve asleep with Bucky's journal in his hand. Bucky snatched it up protectively. Steve stirred and opened his eyes.

"How's the food on this thing?" he asked. The attempted humor fell flat. Bucky could hear the strain in his voice.

"We left a note," Bucky waved the journal.

Steve nodded curtly. "I saw it. Have a seat, let's get this over with."

Bucky and Wanda sat down across from Steve. Wanda reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly.

"Let me be clear, that you are in a lot of trouble," Steve cautioned. "Regardless of your intentions, you put the team in danger. Bucky, I know you were following Wanda but leave a note or wake someone else up. And for god sake don't lie to me about it!"

"I'm sorry," Wanda said.

"Sorry." Bucky echoed.

"Now what happened?" Steve demanded. "The truth."

Wanda took a deep breath. "I talked to Vision yesterday and he asked to see me."

Steve gave Wanda a sharp look. "Yesterday, while they were trying to arrest us?" Wanda nodded.

Steve pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. "Wanda, it could have been a trap, or Tony could have been manipulating the situation to get you alone."

"He did," Bucky said. He felt bad turning on Wanda, but they were in enough trouble. "Spider-man followed Vision."

"Vision didn't know that!" Wanda protested. "I would have seen it!"

"Wanda," Steve started, his voice trembling with anger.

"I know," Wanda said. "It was a stupid thing to do!"

"You're damn right!" Steve snapped. "But you're still going to let me say it! It was a stupid thing to do. If it had been Iron Man instead of Spider-man you might not have been so lucky!"

Wanda nodded. Bucky just looked straight forward, waiting. Steve was drawing out the lecture but the punishment was coming.

"Did he say anything useful?" Steve asked.

"Vision said they're not happy with the oversight board," Bucky told him.

"He said the board doesn't trust them," Wanda said. "They don't feel like the team is being used right because the board is afraid of what they can do. They want more of a say in things."

"Then that asshole from queens showed up and we had to run," Bucky finished.

Steve sighed. "Alright. You're both suspended for three missions and after that you're on probation indefinitely."

Wanda and Bucky nodded. There was no point in arguing.

"I'm going to sleep. Don't wake me up unless something is on fire," Steve grumbled. He closed his eyes and was sound asleep in minutes.

"I'm sorry," Wanda said. "I shouldn't have asked you to cover for me in the first place."

Bucky squeezed her hand. "You didn't make me say it." He paused. "Did you?"

Wanda looked at him, horrified. "No, of course not!"

Bucky relaxed. He liked Wanda, but the mind control power still made him wary. "Good, because we're going to be spending a lot of time together for the next few weeks."

Wanda nodded. She leaned against his shoulder and started to doze. Bucky's mind was too busy to sleep. He opened his journal. The crease made it fall to the last page used. Bucky was alarmed at first to find a drawing he didn't remember, but then he looked at it carefully. It was a drawing of him and Wanda in the dining car. He recognized Steve's style in the lines of his face. He had forgotten what a talented artist Steve was, though he hardly recognized the image of the smiling man in the drawing. It seemed like looking at a character from a forgotten dream.

 

* * *

 

"So you want to tell me what the hell that was out there?" Mr. Stark demanded sternly.

"Engaging them has not been successful. I thought discussing the matter might yield better results. If we continue to pursue them in this manner this will end in bloodshed," Vision replied. For months they had been tracking Captain Rogers and his team with no success. He had hoped that Wanda might listen to reason, but he saw now that that would not work either.

Mr. Stark turned to Spider-Man. "Webhead?"

Spider-man looked nervously between them. "It actually kind of looked like he was on a date. I mean, I got there late and then I was fighting the Winter Soldier, but that's what it sounded like to me."

"Great, we've entered the rebellious teenager years," Mr. Stark muttered.

Vision turned his eyes to the floor. Ms. Van Dyne laughed.

Mr. Stark scowled at her. "I'm sorry. Is this funny to you?"

"Yes," she answered. "This is very funny. I thought I was the only one in love with a fugitive."

Vision looked at her, feeling a minor electrical surge in his chest. Love?

"It's just nice to know I'm not the only one who doesn't want to see them torn apart on the 6 o'clock news," she continued.

"Alright Tinkerbell, you're new to this party so let's clear a few things up right now," Mr. Stark said sharply. "These people are our friends. No one wants them dead, but we also don't have a choice here. We signed the Accords, they didn't. We have to follow orders, even if we don't like them."

"Then why haven't you told the Oversight board about the Winter Soldier," Vision asked. All eyes turned toward Mr. Stark.

"Interesting," Ms. Van Dyne said with a viscous smile. "You're insisting that we follow orders, but you're keeping secrets."

"That's not the same thing," Mr. Stark insisted.

"Oh really? Because it seems to me, that the oversight panel might have a few things to say to that."

"Yes, Hope!" Mr. Stark yelled. "They would say go back to the compound and let someone else handle this! If I tell them that Rogers is working with a HYDRA assassin, we lose any chance to end this nicely!"

"They're already criminals, what difference would it make that they added one!"

Mr. Stark fell silent.

"Seems like we would be better qualified to take down someone like that, so why would they take us off the mission?" Ms. Van Dyne repeated.

"You have to trust me on this," Mr. Stark said evasively.

"I don't!" Ms. Van Dyne exclaimed. "I don't trust you! Especially if you're keeping secrets from us! If you don't want to tell the board, fine, but we're supposed to be a team. Tell us what's going on or I will hack your server and e-mail it to the UN."

"You can't," Mr. Stark said.

"No, but I can." Vision reminded him. "I agree with Ms. Van Dyne. If you wish for us to trust one another, then you must tell us the truth. Why have you kept Sergeant Barnes involvement a secret?"

Col. Rhodes took a step towards Mr. Stark. "I think we all need to go to bed and talk about this tomorrow."

Ms. Van Dyne started to argue, but Col. Rhodes expression stopped her. Mr Stark left without a word. Col. Rhodes followed. Spider-Man stood frozen for a moment before he slipped off to his room.

Ms. Van Dyne sat down with a troubled look on her face. "There's something going on here, but for some reason I feel like I just kicked a puppy."

"Mr Stark is a complicated man," Vision said. "He is hiding something from us, but I think this time he may have his reasons."

Ms Van Dyne nodded. "I'm sorry if I got that wrong, about you and Miss Maximoff."

"I don't know if you did or not," Vision admitted.

"How do you feel about her?"

Vision considered the question. His feelings for Wanda were confusing. He was not certain if he experienced emotion the same way that humans did, and he had struggled to comprehend such a powerful and abstract concept as love. He felt a strong attraction to Wanda as well as a mix of less complicated emotions that he had been able to identify.

"She is beautiful. Not just in appearance but her whole being," he said finally. "I find myself hoping that I can have even a few minutes with her even if it causes trouble. I don't want to arrest her because I don't want to see her confined, but I don't want to see her killed. I just want her to be safe, even if she hates me for it."

Ms. Van Dyne gave him a sympathetic smile. "Sorry, I think you're in love."

"I'm not certain I like it," Vision confessed.

Miss. Van Dyne sighed. "Me either." She stood to leave. "And you can call me Hope."

"Sleep well, Hope."

Vision stared out at the city as the sun rose over the horizon, the lilt of Wanda's laugh echoing in his mind.

**-End-**


	17. Ant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott Bucky-sits while the team has a mission.

The room was quiet when Bucky awoke. He looked over at the bed and remembered that Steve had moved into Sharon's room the first night back from Prague. Bucky felt the sting all over again. They had barely spoken in over a week and it was starting to wear on him. The worst part was that Steve wasn't even angry with him. Anger he could have dealt with, Steve had always been a bit of a hothead, but this was different. Steve looked at him like he was a stranger. Somewhere along the line he had lost Steve's trust.

Sighing, Bucky headed downstairs. Lying in bed all day wasn't going to solve anything. Coffee would at least keep him busy for awhile and maybe after breakfast he would see if Natasha wanted to spar. Anything was better than sitting in his room rereading his journals for the hundredth time. In the kitchen, he found Wanda making breakfast. Everyone else seemed to be in the living room or on the patio.

"Good Morning! You slept late," Wanda observed.

Bucky shrugged. "Didn't see a point to getting up."

He could see the concern in Wanda's eyes. He knew his mood was distressing for her, especially with her abilities, but he just couldn't find a reason to care about anything. He was confined to the house, his best friend wasn't speaking to him, his nightmares were filled with visions of torment and death, and his waking hours were a pointless stretch of boredom and isolation. It almost made him wish that he had put a bullet in his skull back when he escaped HYDRA. There were a few times in the past month he would have done it, but Wilson had insisted they confiscate his weapons, going so far as to change the combination to the armory.

Wanda forced a smile. "I'm making eggs and bacon," she said cheerfully. "Oh, and Clint is visiting. I think they're going somewhere."

"Well we're not," Bucky muttered. He poured a cup of coffee and took a sip. Gagging, he spit it out into the sink. "Who made this?"

"Scott," Wanda said with disgust.

Bucky dumped the pot into the sink and stared at the machine for a minute. "Could you?"

"I'm busy," she said. "I'll walk you through it. Throw out the grounds and fill the pot with water."

Bucky turned on the faucet.

"No, cold water," Wanda said. "That might be your problem."

Bucky waited for the water to cool and filled the pot. He poured it into the machine and replaced the filter.

"Ok, two scoops for every cup."

Bucky spooned the grounds into the filter. He pressed the button and crossed his fingers, A few minutes later the pot was full. Hesitantly Bucky poured a cup and took a sip. To his surprise it was good. Wanda poured a small cup to test it.

"Much Better than Scott's,"

"That's not saying a lot," Bucky replied wryly, though he couldn't help feeling a small thrill at his victory over the machine. Steve came in from the living room. Bucky smiled at him proudly. "I think I figured out the coffee maker."

Steve nodded curtly. "Good, because we have a mission."

 

* * *

 

"A shipment of weapons has been hijacked by a group of mercenaries. The target is this ship." Steve tapped the tablet and the image appeared on the screen. "It's due to dock in Sydney in four days. We infiltrate the ship, secure the payload, contain the mercenaries and hand them over to the Australian authorities."

"Why can't we just give them a heads up and let them handle it?" Natasha asked.

"Because there's an old friend on board who likes to cause trouble." Steve switched screens. "George Batroc."

"Oh yeah, that was a fun night," Natasha said sarcastically.

"He broke out of prison 6 months ago and he's been making noise in the illegal weapons trade. If we can neutralize him before the Australians get there, it'll be cleaner. Sharon, you're piloting, Sam, Nat, Clint, you're with me on the ship. Bucky, Wanda you're suspended, Scott, you're in charge until we get back."

"Wait, what?" Scott asked in disbelief. "What did I do to get benched?"

"Nothing," Steve said tersely. "But someone has to stay, and you're not trained to handle someone like Batroc."

"But I'm qualified to Bucky-sit?" Scott balked. "I'm not really following your logic here."

"Great, we're back to that." Bucky grumbled.

"We could call it Witch Watch," Clint suggested.

"Cute." Wanda said flatly. "Is this a test?"

"Yes," Steve replied. "Scott is in charge until we get back. You two don't leave this house without his permission."

Wanda and Bucky nodded grudgingly. Scott looked like a mouse in a snake cage.

"Alright, one hour, move out." Steve turned off the TV as the others left to prepare. Scott lingered, tapping his fingers nervously on the arm of the sofa.

"Was there something else?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, are you sure I should be staying behind with them?" Scott asked again.

"Well I don't have much of a choice," Steve said, more sharply than he intended. "You're the only one I can spare on this mission and we're already short handed. You're in charge."

Scott frowned nervously. "You don't really think they're going to give me any trouble do you?"

"I don't know anymore," Steve admitted. Ever since Prague he felt like he didn't know Bucky at all. He hoped he wasn't making a mistake leaving Scott here. "We'll see you in a few days."

"That's not very reassuring!" Scott called after him.

 

* * *

 

Bucky stood in the kitchen, drinking his coffee. Being benched was bad enough but putting Lang in charge was a slap in the face. Lang was incapable of stopping either him or Wanda if they wanted to leave, yet they were expected to follow his orders without question. Bucky found the whole situation insulting.

Wilson came in to grab a box of granola bars from the cabinet.

"Bet you're happy," Bucky grumbled.

Wilson looked at him coldly and slammed the cabinet door. "Alright this little pity party of yours is getting really old. I had my doubts, but I was actually kind of hoping you'd prove me wrong. Don't get all bitchy just because you should have listened to me in the first place."

"Sorry," Bucky muttered, feeling a twinge of guilt for taking his frustration out on Wilson.

"Look, up until Atlanta, you were doing ok," Wilson said in a more sympathetic tone. "I just think you should have taken some time off after that. Hell, I'm still having nightmares about it, and I just got the Cliff Notes version. The fact that you can get out of bed in the morning with something like that weighing on you is impressive, but you're using the job as a distraction, and that's not helping anyone, including you."

Bucky nodded. He hated to admit it, but Wilson was right.

"Between us, I think Steve overreacted. I wouldn't have thrown you off, but you shouldn't have even been out there in the first place. I'm saying that as whatever the hell passes for a psychiatrist around here. You need to deal with some of this stuff before you go back out there. You have the time, so use it. Meditate, sleep, whatever you have to do to get your head on straight, but don't rush back into this."

"I feel like I'm starting back over at the beginning here," Bucky told him.

"Everyone ready?" Steve called from the front entryway.

"I gotta go." Wilson said, hoisting his bag onto his shoulder. "When I get back you and I are going to sit down and talk through this in depth. You might be starting over, but you got there once, and we'll find the way back."

Wilson left the kitchen and followed the rest of the team out the door. Bucky finished his coffee and wandered into the living room where Lang and Wanda were watching a game show. Bucky sat down in the armchair and put his feet up on the table.

"Well this sucks," Wanda said.

"Yep," Lang agreed, flipping the channel to a nature documentary.

"You still would have been left behind even if we weren't," Bucky muttered.

Lang turned off the TV and looked at Bucky. "What do you mean?" he asked uncertainly.

"You're hilariously unqualified for a mission like this," Bucky said. He was probably being a bit harsh, but having to answer to someone like Lang was demeaning and he was in no mood to be cooperative.

"I know I don't have military experience like everyone else, and there are no ants at sea, but I've done ok so far, right?" Lang asked doubtfully.

"You haven't died and you haven't accidentally blown anything up," Bucky conceded. "But from my experience that's as much luck as anything."

"Well I didn't mean to blow up that fuel truck in Leipzig," Lang admitted. "And there was that bomb on the oil tanker this summer, and-"

"And you can stop making his point for him," Wanda interjected.

"Ok, well you're not dead." Bucky said. "I still think you're coasting on luck. So does Steve and that's why you're stuck on babysitting duty."

"Luck?" Lang protested. "Do you know how long I had to train to get those ants to listen to me?"

"A week?" Bucky guessed.

Lang stared at him blankly. "Yeah, but it was a long week."

"You're a gimmick," Wanda told him.

"You have some cute tricks," Bucky admitted, "but that's all they are and that makes you a liability."

Lang consider that for a moment. "Is that really how everyone feels?"

Bucky pressed his lips together, wondering if he had gone too far. It wasn't Lang's fault they were in this situation and antagonizing him wasn't going to help anything. In fact, upsetting the only person who could authorize a trip to Starbucks was probably a bad idea.

"Look," Bucky said in a gentler tone. "Some of the people we come up against, you're never going to take them down the way you fight. You need to learn how to adjust."

"You know I can grow too," Lang reminded him.

Wanda scoffed. "And you got knocked on your ass by Spider-man."

"That's not what I meant," Bucky said. "You have to learn to think tactically."

Lang looked back and forth between them. "Ok, so let's say you're right. How do I learn that?"

Bucky studied Lang carefully. He had never taken Lang seriously, but he was starting to think he might have underestimated him.

"Do you mean that?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah," Lang said, resolutely. "If I'm on this team, I'm not going to half ass it."

Bucky grinned. "Ok, just remember you said that."

 

* * *

 

"Sir, there is a priority alert," FRIDAY said. Tony put down the soldering iron and looked at his phone. He went upstairs to find the others. Hope and Rhodey were watching the Price is Right while Vision sat in the corner brooding.

"Ok, everyone suit up, we have Rogers team heading out."

"Any idea why?" Hope asked, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Nope, we'll figure that out when we get there," Tony said. "Up and at 'em!"

Rhodey turned his head to look at Tony. "Are we calling Spider-boy?"

"Nah, it's a school night," Tony said. "And I think he has the SAT or something this weekend."

Rhodey frowned. "Can I make a suggestion before we head out?"

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"The division of labor here isn't working out. We always end up going after the same people and getting our asses handed to us. Wilson always gets away from me. The wings are just more maneuverable than the suit."

"I'm working on that," Tony insisted.

"Yeah, until then, what if we switch it up a bit?" Rhodey suggested. "Someone else go after Wilson or what if we just focus on taking out one or two of them and come back for the rest later."

Tony crossed his arms over his chest. "If we do that, the rest of them will go to ground," he pointed out. "We'll never find them."

"But if we show the UN we can deliver something, maybe they'll be a little less strict about the timeline." Hope suggested.

"We have them outgunned, but they have us outnumbered," Rhodey explained. "Every time we try this, we end up spread over a one mile radius and they slip the net. They know we're not going to play rough and they're taking advantage of that."

"If we just pick two of them and double up, we can do it," Hope pressed.

"Have you two been plotting behind my back?" Tony accused them.

"We were just trying to figure out how to get this done," Rhodey said. "We only have a few weeks left."

Tony considered for a moment. "We need to get Rogers," he said finally. "He's the big ticket item. And Romanoff. If we take them out we'll have an easier time with whoever's left."

"Ok, Hope and I will take Rogers. You and Vision take Romanoff."

Tony nodded. He hated to admit it, but Rhodey was right. "Ok, we'll try it your way. Suit up."

 

* * *

 

Scott's hands trembled slightly as he stood in the training room opposite Barnes. "This isn't what I had in mind."

"I want to see what you can do in a fight before we do anything else," Barnes said.

"You've seen me," Scott said nervously.

"You're usually a quarter inch tall!" Wanda said. "No one can see you."

Scott gulped. He was starting to question his sanity for agreeing to this. Barnes moved his foot back slightly, preparing to attack.

"Wait, wait," Lang said, throwing his hands up and taking a few steps back.

Barnes scowled impatiently. "I'm not holding back just because you aren't ready."

"No, it's just." He paused, trying to think of the right way to voice his concerns. "What if you, and don't take this the wrong way, what if you flip out, go full on Winter Soldier and snap my neck?"

Barnes hesitated for just a moment. "I won't."

Scott cringed. The fact that Barnes had even considered the possibility worried him. "Nothing personal, but I'm not sure I want to rely on your self control."

Barnes dropped out of his stance and looked at Wanda. "You could stop me, right?"

"Probably, but if I lose focus it could be risky," she admitted.

"Shit," Barnes muttered. He paced back and forth for a minute, muttering to himself in Russian. Scott had noticed that he only spoke Russian when he was extremely agitated. This whole thing was starting to seem like a bad idea.

"Alright," Barnes said finally. "There's one thing I can do, but you have to swear to me that you won't use it unless you think your life is in danger. This is a last resort only."

"You know what," Scott said. "I think we should just go back to watching Animal Planet."

"Don't be such a baby," Wanda said. "Tell us."

"I'm serious," Barnes repeated. "If you use this unnecessarily, I will punch you in the throat."

"Got it," Lang squeaked.

"There's a phrase HYDRA implanted in me," Barnes said. Scott could hear the reluctance in his voice. "It will knock me out for a few minutes. If you have to use it, run upstairs, lock the door, and don't open it until you're sure that I'm ok."

Wanda traded a worried look with Scott. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"No, but it'll buy you a couple of minutes to get to safety. The basement can hold me until the others get back if something goes wrong." He took a deep breath. "Do not repeat it when I tell you. I will black out," Barnes emphasized, looking pointedly at Scott. "The word is 'Sputnik'."

"Like the Russian satellite?" Scott asked.

"I don't know what that is," Barnes said.

"Yes," Wanda said. "Just like that."

Scott nodded. "Ok, I think I'm good now."

"Great," Bucky faced off again. "Can we start please?"

 

* * *

 

Scott panted for breath as he tried to keep up with Barnes. They had been sparring all afternoon and Scott was exhausted. So far he had been hit 37 times, mostly with Barnes' right hand. Barnes had done a good job of pulling his punches, but he was still going to have some bruises and probably a black eye tomorrow. He dodged a strike, but Barnes grabbed him by the throat and threw him to the ground. Scott coughed as the air was forced from his lungs. Barnes immediately loosened his grip but kept his hand on Scott's throat.

"What would you do?" he asked.

"Die?" Scott coughed. He was tired and sore. He just wanted to take a bath and watch Jeopardy.

"How do you get out of this?" Barnes asked again.

"Well if I had my suit I would just shrink," Scott said.

"Then what?" Barnes pressed.

"Punch you in the nuts and run," Scott grumbled.

"Always have a follow up. Never rely on one move." Barnes said. "Switch positions." He lay on the ground and put Scott's hand on his throat.

"Ok, a few things you can do here." Barnes swung an arm toward the bend in Scotts elbow. "On most people that will loosen their grip, you might be able to break loose."

He jabbed a finger toward Scott's eyes and pressed a finger into Scott's throat. "Attack the face, attack the throat. If they have a hand on you, they only have one hand to defend themselves. Don't be afraid to fight dirty."

Barnes stood up and went to get a bottle of water. "You're actually not bad at this," he said. He sounded grudgingly impressed.

"My girlfriend taught me," Scott said, idly wondering how Hope might do against Barnes.

"Are we done?" Wanda asked. "I'm starving."

"Yeah, I think that's enough for today," Barnes said. "Tomorrow we'll work on tactics."

Barnes and Wanda went upstairs. Scott flopped down on the mat, aching and exhausted. It was going to be a long few days.

 

* * *

 

Sharon flew the jet while the rest of the team slept. It was a straightforward mission, but things rarely ran according to plan when dealing with armed mercenaries. With half the team at home, everyone would need to be ready. She stifled a yawn as Natasha slid into the co-pilot seat beside her.

"Can't sleep?" Sharon asked.

Natasha shook her head. "No, I just thought you might want a break."

"I'm ok," Sharon said. "I wouldn't say no to some company though. Flying alone gets boring."

"Want me to make coffee?"

"Maybe in a bit." Sharon glanced back at the three sleeping behind them. "Nat, you've known Steve longer than I have. Lately, has he seemed a little," she paused, trying to think of the right word.

"Bitchy?" Nat suggested.

"Not bitchy, just," She looked back at Steve. "Yeah, bitchy. Do you think he should have suspended Bucky?"

Natasha was silent for a moment. "I don't know. I think if it was anyone else, it wouldn't have been as big of a deal."

"I've spent the last year listening to stories about the guy and he doesn't seem like the same person Steve remembers," Sharon said.

"He's not, and I think Steve's having trouble accepting that. With Peggy gone, Bucky's his last link to where he came from. He's always had a hard time letting go of the past. I think that's why it took him two years to call you."

"I was wondering about that," Sharon said. "I thought for a while that you had forgotten to give him my number."

"Well I tried to get him to ask you out before the whole HYDRA fiasco."

"He did. I had to turn him down."

"What did you do that for?" Natasha asked.

Sharon gaped at her. "I was assigned to protect him! You knew I wouldn't be able to go out with him then."

Natasha shrugged. "I thought maybe if something happened between you, you could just ask for a transfer."

"Well I guess it worked out," Sharon admitted.

"My point is, think about how much it took for him to move forward with you. After everything he's been through to get Bucky back, it's going to take a lot for him to admit that Bucky's not coming back, at least not the way he wants."

"I don't want to see him push Bucky away. Whatever's changed, they still need each other."

"Yeah," Natasha agreed. "I think we just need to give them a little time to work it out on their own."

Sharon sighed. "The last time I had a boyfriend who was such a giant pain in the ass it barely lasted a month."

Natasha chuckled. "Could be worse. Remember that pilot you dated when you first joined up?"

Sharon grimaced. "Oh, that asshole! You know he turned out to be HYDRA? Uck! I need a shower just thinking about that."

"Well I think you overcorrected nicely." Natasha laughed and stood up. "You want some coffee?"

"Yeah," Sharon shuddered. "Ugh, when we get home, I'm going to have to screw Steve's brains out until I forget that relationship happened."

Sharon turned her attention back to the controls as Natasha started the coffee maker. She didn't like seeing the team like this, but after the last few months it wasn't surprising. Steve was the most stubborn man she had ever met and there wasn't much she could do to bring him around. She would just have to be patient and let things work themselves out.

 

* * *

 

Bucky, Lang, and Wanda stood on Mrs. Mackenzie's back porch. Mrs. Mackenzie studied the three of them carefully. "You want to tear up my house for a training exercise?"

"We're not going to tear it up," Bucky assured her..

"If you want a workout, my garden needs to be aerated," she suggested.

"We're working on infiltration and situational awareness. I thought an unfamiliar place would be better."

"Well, sounds more fun than going to my knitting group," Mrs Mackenzie said. "I swear to God, if I have to hear one more story about Angela Fosters grandson, I'm going to stab that woman with a knitting needle."

"Lang, Wanda, go home and wait for me," Bucky said. "I'll come get you when we have a plan."

"Uh, I'm in charge here," Lang reminded him. Bucky stared at him for a moment. Lang turned to Wanda. "And I have decided that we're going to go back to the house and wait. Come get us when you're ready."

"Wanda, hold up a minute," Bucky said. He looked at Lang. "If that's alright with you?" Lang gave him a thumbs up and quickly retreated next door.

Mrs. Mackenzie looked at Bucky with a raised eyebrow as Lang left. "Rogers left that guy in charge?"'

"Yeah," Bucky said.

"He's not really taking to this leadership thing," Wanda said.

"No, he's not," Bucky agreed. Scott had surprised him yesterday, but the real challenge was yet to come. "We're going to have to make him give orders. So don't do anything unless he tells you to."

Wanda nodded. "You know he used to be a burglar. He might surprise you."

"We'll see," Bucky said.

He wasn't expecting a lot, but it was something to do. He knew he was just using Lang as a distraction from his problems, but sitting around dwelling on things drove him crazy. He would deal with it when Wilson got back. A few days off wouldn't hurt and Lang might actually learn something.

 

* * *

 

Scott tapped his fingers on the counter impatiently. "So what do you think he's going to have us doing?"

"I assume we're going to break in," Wanda said.

"Ok, I can do that," Scott said quickly. He had broken into hundreds of places, but he had a feeling this would be different.

Barnes returned with Mrs. Mackenzie. He set a paintball gun on the table.

"I've hidden your suit somewhere in the house. You need to find it and get out. Each team has a paintball gun. If you get shot you're dead, but only center mass. If someone wings you, keep going but you can't use that limb. If you get knocked down, try to get back up. It's not over until you die or escape. As long as one of you gets out with the suit, you win."

Scott raised his hand. Bucky rolled his eyes. "What?"

"Who gets the gun?" Scott asked.

"Up to you." Barnes handed him the gun. "You're in charge. Wanda is going to follow your orders."

"I'll have the one for our side," Mrs. Mackenzie said. "Bucky will be attacking hand to hand."

"Uh, is that the safest division of labor?" Scott asked warily.

"No, but you won't stand a chance if I have the gun," Barnes said without any hint of exaggeration.

"We'll have a safe word if you're injured and we need to quit, otherwise keep going," Mrs. MacKenzie told them.

"Safe word is 'coffee cup'," Barnes said. "Any questions?"

"Yeah, I'm not really confident we can pull this off," Scott confessed.

"You're probably right," Barnes agreed. "Give us five minutes."

Barnes and Mrs Mackenzie left, leaving Scott and Wanda in the kitchen. Scott felt his chest tighten. He looked at the paintball gun and then at Wanda. She didn't seem nervous about this, but she still had her powers. Without the suit, he didn't stand a chance against Barnes. Even with the suit, it would be a challenge.

"So do you want the gun or should I take it?" Scott asked Wanda.

Wanda shrugged. Scott remembered what Barnes had said. He was in charge.

"I'll take it," he said. "What do you think about going in through the second story?"

"Is that what you want to do?" she asked.

"Yes," Scott said. Apparently she was going to make him plan everything. "We'll start high and go down. Maybe we'll get lucky and they hid it in the bedroom."

When the five minutes were up, they hopped the fence and climbed up to the roof. Scott opened a window and they crawled in.

"You know I could have done that with my powers," Wanda said.

"Then why didn't you?" Scott asked.

"You didn't tell me to."

Scott groaned. "Well help me check the room."

Scott opened the closet. Barnes was inside. Before Scott could react, Barnes kicked him into the bed. He rolled off and fired at Barnes. Barnes dodged and the shots hit the wall.

"Wanda!" Scott cried. "A little help here.

Wanda pushed Barnes out the door and into the hallway, giving Scott time to regain his balance. He fired as Barnes disappeared down the stairs. Scott closed the door, his heart racing.

"He knew we'd do this!"

"What now?" Wanda asked.

"Usually on a heist I'd abort!"

"Not an option," Wanda said with a smile. She was enjoying this too much.

Scott took a deep breath. "Ok, I'll cover the stairwell, you check the other rooms." He tore open the door and ran out with the gun in front. He tried to breathe as Wanda ran through the hall. Barnes could be anywhere and they still had to check the rest of the house.

"It's not here!" she called.

"Ok, let's go down."

They edged down the stairs. As they approached the bottom, Mrs Mackenzie fired at them from the den. Scott ducked and the paintball hit Wanda square in the chest. She sat down on the stairs, out of the game. Mrs. MacKenzie fired at Scott. He threw himself out of the way, but dropped his gun. It skidded across the floor, out of reach. Scott rushed Mrs. Mackenzie and knocked her to the floor before she could fire again.

"Stop! I think I broke my hip!" she cried.

"Oh god I'm so sorry!" Scott went over to help her. Mrs. Mackenzie fired three shots at his chest. Barnes came out of the living room.

"Lang, she was faking! You need to watch for that. Old people love to pull that injured move. This is why we have a safeword."

"Oh yeah," Scott said. In the confusion, he had forgotten.

Wanda stood up, rubbing the spot where the paintball had struck. "That stings."

Barnes picked up the gun and handed it to Scott. "Out there, if someone attacks you and breaks a hip, you leave them, or kill them. Reset, we're trying again."

"How did I do otherwise?" Scott asked.

"Not bad," Barnes admitted. "Your entry plan was good."

"You were waiting for us," Scott said. "We made it all of three feet."

"I got lucky. I couldn't know you'd come in there and you couldn't know I would be there. You covered the top floor well. You lost Wanda but there wasn't much you could have done except take the bullet."

Scott paused for a moment. "Should I have?"

"That depends," Barnes said. "What's more important? The mission or your friend."

Scott frowned considering the question carefully.

"That wasn't a test," Mrs Mackenzie said exasperated. "You'll feel like shit the next day no matter which one you pick."

"Take a break and give us 10 minutes to reset," Barnes said. "We're moving the suit so don't assume any rooms are clear."

 

* * *

 

Scott and Wanda edged through the kitchen to the basement stairs. They had already cleared the upstairs and the first floor which meant the suit and their opponents were in the basement. They had failed six times so far and it was getting late.

"Check those boxes over there, I'll check these," Scott instructed as they entered.

Wanda moved off to check her side and Scott searched over by the laundry room. As he approached, Barnes lunged out from behind the water heater. Scott blocked a few strikes but Barnes kicked him into a wall and grabbed him by the throat. Scott looked around quickly, considering his options. Off to the side he saw Wanda.

"Catch!" he choked, tossing her the gun.

Wanda reached out with her powers and pulled the gun to her. She shot Barnes three times in the back. He let go of Scott and sat down on the floor.

"You got him!" Scott yelled excitedly as a paintball hit him in the chest. Wanda turned in the direction of the shot and stopped a paintball mid air, sending it back where it had come from. Mrs Mackenzie dodged and ran for the stairs, firing randomly behind her as Wanda pursued.

"You know what you did wrong?" Barnes asked, smirking.

"Let my guard down," Scott sighed.

"I'm seriously asking, how did you survive prison?"

Scott shrugged. "It was minimum security and I'm likable."

They heard Wanda scream from upstairs. "Ow! That hurts!"

"Ok, take a break and reset I guess." Scott said.

Barnes shook his head. "We have two more days. Let's stop and get dinner."

"Yeah, that sounds better," Scott agreed. "Whose night is it to cook?"

Barnes thought for a moment. "I'd say Peking Palace."

 

* * *

 

"Any stragglers?" Steve asked. Sharon scanned through the surveillance feed.

"Negative. All hostiles secured," she reported. "There's an Australian Naval ship half a day out. Should I contact them?"

"Sure, let them have the easy part." Natasha said.

"Well if it gets us home faster," Sharon said. "I think there's some sort of street festival tomorrow night. Think we can make it back?"

"We can try," Steve said. "But what are you and I going to do while everyone's gone?"

Sharon laughed, happy to hear a bit of humor back in Steve's voice. Maybe he was wrong to suspend Bucky, but a mission without him seemed to be helping. She wondered if she could talk him into going away for a few days after this. Suddenly an alert sounded.

"I have an anomaly on the scanners," Sharon reported. "I can't tell what it is."

"I don't see anything," Steve said. "Sam, get up there and take a look."

Sharon adjusted the settings. "I have something about a mile out and then three readings closing in."

Sharon heard a string of cursing from Steve. "It's the Avengers."

"Ok, how in the hell did they follow us out here?" Sharon demanded. She took out a handful of EMP rounds from her locker, hoping Stark hadn't found a way around them yet.

"I don't kn-uhg!"

Sharon paused. "Steve?"

"Something hit me," he said. "I couldn't see what it was." Sharon looked at the monitor. He was flat on his back. Sharon opened the hatch and ran toward Steve's position.

"I have Iron Man, War Machine, and Vision approaching!" Sam reported.

Sharon looked off to the starboard side and saw three figures approaching fast. Sam dove towards them, landing on Iron Man's back and knocking him off course for a moment. Sam took off again, but none of the Avengers pursued. Sharon ran over to help Steve. He was near the bow fighting some invisible enemy and losing. It looked to Sharon like he was fending off a bee.

"What is it?" she asked, watching helplessly. If Steve couldn't see it, she certainly couldn't.

"I don't know! It won't stay still!" His knee buckled knocking him off balance. A moment later, his head snapped to the side as though he had been punched in the jaw.

Sharon started over to help, but a roar caught her attention. War Machine was approaching. She turned and fired, hitting him with three rounds around the arc reactor. His flight systems shorted out and he crashed to the deck. She fired another round at his helmet for good measure.

Steve powered up his shield and swung his arm in a wide arc. Sharon heard a clunk as something hit the wall of the superstructure. Steve didn't waste time investigating. He jumped to his feet and took her hand, running back toward the jet.

"Fall back! Everyone get to the jet!"

"Yeah, just give me a minute!" Natasha said. Iron Man and Vision had her cornered on the aft deck. Sharon and Steve halted, taking cover behind a lifeboat.

"Clint, where are you?" Steve asked.

An arrow flew from the top of the superstructure and hit Vision in the forehead. It sparked and Vision froze, sinking to the ground. Sharon ran out, firing at Iron Man. She missed, but Sam flew in and drop kicked him, knocking him off to the side. The brief distraction was enough for Natasha to break away and run to the ship. Sam flew off to pick up Clint as Steve and Sharon boarded the jet.

Natasha was already running through the lift off procedure as Sharon slid into the co-pilot seat. She took off, flying by the superstructure with the hatch open. Sam and Clint flew in. Natasha closed it up and hit the throttle. Everyone was quiet for a moment as they caught their breath.

A few minutes later, Steve broke the silence. "Ok, what the hell was that?"

"I think that was the gloves coming off," Clint said soberly.

Sharon sighed heavily. Whether by accident or design, the Avengers had decided to press them just when they were weakest. A new Avenger was just one more thing to worry about when they were already stretched to their limit. They needed to figure out how they were being tracked or they were never going to survive until Bucky and Wanda returned.

 

* * *

 

Scott and Wanda crawled along the upstairs railing. "Last room," Scott whispered. "I'll go in, cover me from behind."

Wanda nodded. Scott held the gun out and crept towards the door. The team was coming back tomorrow and this was their final run. They still hadn't managed to find the suit before they were killed. This was their last chance.

He opened the door. The suit lay there on the bed in plain view. He was elated, but every instinct was screaming at him to retreat. His experience as a burglar told him this had to be a trap, but his experience on the team told him there had to be a way. The mission wasn't over until he died or succeeded. There had been no retreat for the Avengers in New York or Sokovia. He might someday face a situation where running away was not an option. He had to find a way.

Crouching down, he scanned the room. The closet was the only place to hide. It was big enough for Barnes and Mrs. MacKenzie but they wouldn't do that. One of them was in there. He crept toward the bed and grabbed the suit. Wanda yelled from the hall as two rounds fired. Scott shut the door and locked it. His only chance was to get the suit on. He put on the helmet as Barnes emerged. Scott ducked to the side and ran for the closet.

Holding the door with one hand, he fumbled the suit on with the other. Barnes ripped the door open pulling Scott out and sending him tumbling across the floor. Scott zipped up the suit and pressed the button just as Barnes fist slammed into the floor where his head had been. Scott ran under the door as Barnes scanned the floor for him, feeling a rush of adrenaline. He had done it. He had the suit. All he had to do was get to the door.

Wanda was on the floor with a paint stain  on her leg. She was fending off Mrs. Mackenzie for the moment, but she was pinned down. Scott looked at the door and then at Wanda. Barnes would stop looking for him in a moment and come out into the hall. If he left her, she was dead. He hurried toward Mrs Mackenzie. Climbing up, he stood on the gun and jumped at her face, punching her in the jaw. She fell back. Scott returned to normal and ran up to help Wanda.

"I have the suit, let's get out of here!"

They ran towards the door as Barnes came out and leapt over the railing. He grabbed the gun that Mrs. MacKenzie had dropped and shot them both in the back.

Scott stopped. "Fuck!" he screamed, throwing his helmet across the room. "We almost had it that time!"

Mrs Mackenzie sat up, rubbing her chin. "That's going to leave a mark. Did you get them?"

"Barely," Barnes admitted.

"Damn it!" Scott yelled kicking the door frame. They had been so close.

"Hey!" Barnes barked at him. "Calm down."

"We failed two steps from the door!"

"Well you would have made it if you'd abandon Wanda," Barnes said.

"So I'm supposed to just leave her there?" Scott asked angrily. How did they expect him to choose between sacrificing a mission and sacrificing a teammate?

"Could you live with that?" Barnes asked. There was no judgement in his voice. It was simply a question.

Scott took a breath and looked at Wanda. She had died anyway but they had had a chance. "No." 

"Then you did fine," Barnes said calmly.

"Although maybe secure the fire arms next time," Ms. Mackenzie suggested.

Barnes helped Mrs Mckenzie off the floor. "Yeah, that was a mistake."

"Alright, that's a wrap people," Mrs. MacKenzie said. "I expect everyone back here at 9 am to clean up this mess!"

Scott looked around the house. "Are you sure we need to clean it? It could use a coat of paint anyway."

Mrs. Mackenzie scoffed. "Be my guest, but you're doing it for free!"

 

* * *

 

Steve sat at the controls as they flew home. Clint and Sam had fallen asleep somewhere over Indonesia, but Steve was too agitated to sleep. This latest encounter with the Avengers had been a close call and it couldn't have come at a worse time. With the team at half strength another encounter like that might not end so well.

The jet was quiet except for Sharon and Natasha whispering in the galley. Steve could tell they didn't mean for him to overhear, but his hearing was as enhanced as the rest of his body.

"Someone needs to talk to him," Natasha said.

"You said the other day that he just needed some time to work through things," Sharon replied.

"With Bucky, yes, but I'm talking about the Avengers and the team." Natasha said. "You've seen him. I'm actually a bit surprised he's held it together this long."

"Maybe if we take a few weeks off and lay low," Sharon suggested.

"That won't solve anything, Tony will still be there when we get back." Natasha paused. "So you want to do it?"

"Oh no, you're not pawning this off on me," Sharon whispered emphatically. "This is a team issue. I'm staying neutral."

"Ok, but you get to deal with the Bucky thing." Natasha made her way up and took the copilot chair.

"You know I can hear you," Steve said irritably. He looked back at Sharon who was in the galley pretending to ignore them.

"Good, that'll speed this up. Things have been a little tense lately," Natasha began.

"Get the the point," Steve snapped. He wasn't in the mood for one of her circumlocutious discussions.

Natasha recoiled. "Well that's kind of where I was going! I know you've been under a lot of pressure, but you're biting everyone's head off and you need to cut it the hell out. You've been off the rails since Prague and it's scaring everyone."

She paused for a moment and continued in a calmer voice. "I'm worried about you and so is Sharon. The suspension was justified, but it's your attitude that's uncalled for. You're at your breaking point Rogers. Whatever the problem is between you and Bucky, that's for you two to work out, but you're letting it affect your work. You're the leader of this team. I know it's not easy, but you need to keep it together. If you can't do that, then maybe you need to take some time off."

"Are you saying you want me to step down?"

"I'm saying I think you need to take a break," Natasha said. "Super soldier or not, you're still human. Take a vacation and let someone else handle things for a while."

"You want to take over, we can put it to a vote when we get home." Steve growled. "Until then, this is still my team."

"And your going to destroy it if you keep this up." Natasha stood to return to her seat. "I'm not trying to stage a coup, I'm just worried about you. I'm on your side, Steve."

"Until you change your mind," he retorted.

Natasha glared at him. "Keep this up and I might." She stormed back to the galley.

Steve leaned back in the chair and focused on the flight plan. If Natasha wanted his job she could have it, but right now he just wanted to get home and go to bed.

 

* * *

 

Scott, Wanda, and Bucky staggered into the house, sore and exhausted. Scott started to sit on the couch but Wanda caught him with her powers.

"You're covered in paint! Go shower!"

"Yeah, order something for dinner," he muttered.

Wanda took two beers out of the fridge and handed one to Bucky. "So they're back tomorrow. That's one mission down."

"Wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Bucky admitted.

"That's because you won," Wanda said, popping the cap off her beer.

"You had that last one, but he wouldn't leave you behind." Bucky took a sip of his beer. "He's actually a lot better than I thought he was."

"I think he's still a little intimidated by us," Wanda said.

Bucky nodded. "That's his problem. He's so star struck by Captain America he forgets to think."

"He's a bit reckless," Wanda said.

"Sometimes a little recklessness is good," Bucky admitted. There was something about Lang that reminded Bucky of the way Steve had been when they were younger. He had the sort of impulsiveness that had led Steve to cross enemy lines to rescue him in Austria, and the determination that had made him volunteer for the Army in the first place.

"It was fun though," Wanda said.

Bucky smiled. For what seemed like the first time in weeks, he was happy, if only for a moment. "Yeah, it was."

 

* * *

 

It was late when the team arrived home. Steve looked around for Bucky as he entered the kitchen. He heard voices from the living room. Scott, Bucky and Wanda were watching a football game. He wasn't avoiding Bucky exactly, but he had no idea what to say.

He had spent the rest of the flight thinking about his conversation with Natasha. It had finally hit home that that man living with them wasn't the same person he had grown up with or fought a war with. Sometimes he could see a glimmer of his old friend, but this man was little more than a shadow of the old Bucky. Sam had warned him about that from the beginning, Bucky had even said the same thing himself a few times, but Steve had been too stubborn to accept it. Now he understood, but he had no idea how to move forward.

Natasha had been right about one thing, he had been a bit short tempered lately, particularly with Scott. His patience was wearing thin and he had lashed out at Scott unfairly. Scott already felt like something of an outsider being a late arrival to the team. If Steve wanted to lead, it was his job to make sure that everyone felt like they had a place.

Scott came to meet them as everyone headed off to unpack. "I see the house is still in one piece," Steve joked. He looked at Scott's face. "Is that a black eye."

"This?" Scott touched his eye, wincing slightly. "We were just training. I didn't block in time."

"Did you do anything fun?" Steve asked, trying to keep his tone light.

Scott shrugged. "Ordered take out, watched a movie. Uneventful really."

"I know you were disappointed having to sit out this one," Steve said.

"A bit," Scott admitted.

"Sorry if I was a bit short earlier," Steve apologized. "I think what I said came out wrong. Not everyone is suited to every mission. Doesn't mean we don't need you."

"Thanks," Scott said. Steve could hear the relief in his voice. "If it's alright though, I'd like to volunteer to stay behind the next two rounds."

Steve looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You sure?"

Scott nodded. "I think I'll be the most useful here for a while."

"If that's what you want to do."

The game went to commercial and Bucky came in to grab a beer. He hesitated in the doorway, watching Steve carefully. "The 49'ers are playing the Ravens if you want to join us," he said.

Steve shook his head. He didn't have the energy to work through things with Bucky tonight. "I'm going to go to bed, it was a long mission."

"Night," Bucky said as Steve headed upstairs.

 

* * *

 

Sharon was getting ready for bed when Steve came in. He flopped down on the bed, still in his clothes. For a moment, he actually looked a hundred years old. She lay down beside him.

"How's your face?" she asked running a finger along his jaw.

He winced. "Still a bit sore."

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know," Steve said. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

Sharon kissed him. "You put too much pressure on yourself sometimes. There are some things that you just can't control and you're going to drive yourself crazy trying."

"I think they were getting serious this time," Steve said despondently. "They ignored everyone else and went for me and Natasha. Whoever I was fighting wasn't holding back either." He rubbed his jaw. "I don't think they've been trying very hard up until now, but if they come at us full force, I don't know if we can hold them off."

"I know," Sharon said softly. The change in tactics worried her. They had managed to evade pursuit for more than a year, but Sharon wondered how much longer that could last. "Come on, you need to get some sleep."

"Just throw a blanket on me, I'll be fine," Steve muttered.

"No, you're not sleeping in that." Sharon climbed over him and stood up. "Come on, get changed," she said. She unzipped his pants and yanked them off by the cuff while Steve pulled his shirt over his head.

"Can you hand me my pajama pants?" he asked.

Sharon looked at the dresser then back at Steve. She flashed him a playful smile. "I could, but since you're already undressed, I can think of a few other ways to relax."

Steve considered that for a moment before grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back down to the bed.

 

* * *

 

Bucky came downstairs late that night to find Natasha sitting at the counter.

"You're up late."

"I had too much coffee on the way home," she said.

Bucky nodded and took the milk out of the refrigerator. "You want some?"

"Why not? Are there any cookies?"

"Chips-Ahoy." Bucky said, setting the package on the counter. There were Oreos, but he was going to have to talk to Wilson tomorrow, so it was probably best not to annoy him.

"Are you ok?" Natasha asked.

Bucky shook his head. With Steve out of the house he had been able to forget that Steve was upset with him for a few days. Their short exchange earlier had brought it all back.

"A guy who would literally die for me isn't even speaking to me," he said.

Natasha poured a glass of milk. "Well dying is easy. Living is the hard part."

Bucky nodded. "I feel like he's expecting me to be the guy he knew, but I don't think I am anymore."

"Then who are you?" Natasha asked.

"I don't know," Bucky mused. "I'm not the Winter Soldier, but that guy from Brooklyn, that's not me either. Sometimes I feel like I'm both of them, or neither of them." He took a deep breath. "For the last 70 years I've been nothing, and now Steve expects me to go back to being someone that I can barely remember. I don't know if I can."

"So don't," Natasha said. "Just be what you are."

"I don't know who that is either" Bucky confessed.

"So just make something up," Natasha shrugged. "The truth is a matter of circumstance. It's not all things to all people, all the time."

"Making stuff up is what landed me in trouble," Bucky reminded her.

"It's not all about you. He's just overwhelmed. The whole situation with the Avengers is really starting to get to him."

"You think that's all it is?" Bucky asked, dunking a cookie into his milk.

"He does have a life outside of you, you know," Natasha teased.

"That's part of the problem. He's changed too. The guy I used to know would never just give up on me like this," Bucky said. He felt a lump form in his throat.

"He hasn't given up," Natasha said emphatically, placing a hand firmly on his arm. "It's just that the situation wasn't what he thought it was. He needs time to regroup and come up with a new plan."

Bucky sipped his milk. He wasn't so sure, but for the past 5 years Natasha had been with Steve more than he had. Maybe she knew something he didn't. Sometimes Bucky still saw Steve as the skinny asthmatic from Brooklyn, but there was something different about him now. He was harder and less naive. Bucky wasn't sure he liked it.

"He'll come around," Natasha promised. "Just give him some time and focus on figuring out who you are."

Bucky looked at her carefully. She always seemed to know what to say, as though she were speaking from a place of experience.

"And who are you?"

"I'm not really sure either," Natasha said with a wistful smile. "I've always been whatever I needed to be. I never really had a chance to figure out if any of it was real."

"You're real enough to me," Bucky said. He felt his pulse quicken as he realized she was still touching his arm.

"You want to watch a movie?" she asked.

"Ok," Bucky said, "but I'm picking. Have you seen The Maltese Falcon?"

"No, have you?"

Bucky pulled back his hand and took his glass to the sink. "I think it was my favorite film. I'd like to see if it holds up."

"Sounds good."

Natasha smiled again, making Bucky's stomach flutter. All his concerns vanished from his mind as he followed her into the living room.

 

* * *

 

"Ok, class, so what did we learn?" Tony said as the Avengers sat in the conference room. Rhodey and Hope looked at him flatly. Hope was holding an icepack to the back of her head.

"I still think it's a good idea, we just need to adjust it a bit," she insisted.

"Well let's check the tape," Tony said. "FRIDAY, play the video feed. Chime in if you notice anything kids."

"Wanda was not there," Vision observed.

"Well if I were Rogers, I would probably bench her for fraternizing with the enemy," Tony said pointedly.

"No Winter Soldier either," Hope noticed.

"And if Ant-Man was there, he didn't do much." Rhodey added. "Who is the woman with Rogers?"

"Sharon Carter, former SHIELD, former CIA." FRIDAY said.

Hope leaned forward. "FRIDAY, play all sections with Sharon Carter." Hope watched intently as FRIDAY ran through the feed. "She's dating Rogers," Hope concluded.

"Are you serious?" Tony asked, looking at the video carefully. There was one section where Rogers held her hand but that didn't necessarily mean they were dating.

"Look at this, the way she runs into protect him," Hope pointed out. "And look at the edge of that one. The way he's talking to her. That's not just a teammate. He cares about her."

"So what are you suggesting?" Rhodey asked.

"We need to get her. She's the weak link in the team and she's Rogers achilles heel," Hope said. "If we can get Carter, we can get Rogers to surrender."

"Or he'll try to kill us," Tony argued.

"Won't be easy," Rhodey said. "She's a SHIELD Agent."

"We just have to send the right person in," Hope argued. "We have them outgunned, let's use that."

Tony watched the footage. He thought about Pepper and all the times she had been in danger on account of him. It was a risky tactic, and not one he wanted to use, but it would work. He reminded himself that Sharon Carter was a trained spy. More importantly, she was part of Rogers team. She was in violation of the Sokovia accords just like the others.

"Alright," Tony agreed. "Let's make it work."

**-End-**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The kill code "Sputnik" is comic canon and while it hasn't been introduced in the MCU, I feel like there must be something similar.


	18. Benign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions rise as Bucky struggles to sort out his identity.

It was a chilly night as the team sat around the dining room table. It had been a quiet dinner, but civil compared to some over the last few weeks. Sharon set down her fork and eyed the remaining food on the table.

"Ugh, I'm stuffed. Anyone want the last pork chop?

There was a polite pause before Steve and Bucky both said, "I'll take it."

The table fell into an awkward silence. Everyone waited, barely daring to breathe. Bucky watched Steve anxiously. Steve turned his eyes down to his plate.

"Never mind," he muttered. "I'll just finish the mashed potatoes."

"They're right in front of you." Sharon said shortly, handing the pork chop to Bucky. Steve reached for the bowl.

Across the table, Sharon saw Natasha jerk her head at Steve and look at Bucky. Bucky cleared his throat. "Natasha and I saw a flyer for a gallery opening in the arts district this Friday. Maybe we could go."

Again the table was silent. Steve ignored the question and spooned the rest of the mashed potatoes onto his plate.

"I think it sounds like fun," Sharon said to break the tension. "Steve? What about you?"

"Seems like every time we make plans, something comes up," he muttered.

Bucky's face fell. Sharon glared at Steve. Once again, he had managed to ruin dinner. If this kept up, she was going to start making him eat in the kitchen.

"Well I'd love to go," Wanda said cheerfully. "It won't matter for us if something comes up."

Bucky's face brightened a bit. "Lang? Is that ok with you?"

"Yeah, sounds great," Scott said. "No one's dragged me to a gallery opening in over a year." He sighed. "I miss Luis."

"Not where I thought you were going with that," Sam muttered.

"Hope doesn't really like contemporary art. She's more into Art Deco stuff."

"Does anyone want to watch a movie?" Natasha asked.

"Who's turn is it to pick?" Sharon asked, thankful for the change of subject.

"Mine," Sam said. He turned to Bucky. "Have you seen Lethal Weapon?"

"No," Bucky said, standing up. "But I'm betting you're going to make us watch it."

"Damn right," Sam said. "It's a classic."

"Whose night is it to clean?" Sharon asked.

"Yours," Natasha said, quickly retreating to the living room. Everyone followed except for Steve who was still finishing his mashed potatoes.

Sharon started stacking plates. "You know that gallery thing was aimed at you, right?"

"I'm not in the mood," Steve said sullenly. "And something will probably come up. It always seems to."

Sharon set the plates down hard on the table. "What are you five? You're mad at him so you're giving him the silent treatment?"

"I'm not mad, I just don't have anything to say to him right now," Steve said.

"Well I'm tired of every dinner turning into Thanksgiving with my parents!" Sharon yelled. "You want to suspend him from the team, fine, that's your call, but I want my house back! Fix your attitude or eat dinner in the den!"

Steve didn't answer. Sharon started collecting the silverware.

"Do you want some help?" he asked, a bit grudgingly, setting his plate on the stack.

"I've got it," she snarled. "Go sulk in a corner."

Steve left, pouting. A moment later, Bucky returned, hovering uncertainly around the door.

"Did you hear that?" Sharon asked.

"Everyone heard it. Do you want a hand?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Bucky collected the serving dishes and helped her carry everything to the kitchen. Sharon opened the dishwasher to load the dishes.

"I'm sorry he's being like this," she said.

"It's not your fault," Bucky said, putting the butter back in the refrigerator.

"Well it's not yours either," Sharon told him firmly. Bucky's actions may have gotten him suspended, but it was Steve's fault that it was affecting their friendship.

"Are you two ok?" Bucky asked. He sounded a bit worried.

"We're fine," she said wearily. "This is what happens in a long term relationship. At some point the magic wears off and your boyfriend starts acting like an asshat."

"I feel like I upended everything coming here."

"It's a small house. Someone would have found something to bitch about eventually," she assured him. "This isn't the first time we've had some group discord.  It just doesn't usually come from Steve. Last Halloween Scott got so homesick he ran away to go Trick-or-Treating with his daughter."

That drew a ghost of a smile from Bucky. Sharon loaded the last of the dishes and started the dishwasher. "Thanks for your help. I'll be there in a minute. I'm going to make some popcorn."

"I'll save you a seat," Bucky said, heading for the living room.

"Bucky," Sharon said. He paused in the doorway. "He'll come around. I promise." Bucky smiled faintly and went into the living room. "If I have to bring him around myself," Sharon added under her breath, putting a bag in the microwave.

 

* * *

 

_The restraints held him in the chair but he wasn't sure why he was restrained in the first place. He didn't know where he was or how he had gotten here. His body ached and his head hurt. He heard the hum of electricity and remembered the little man with the glasses. That thought put him on alert. The man with glasses was dangerous._

_A soldier stood in front of him. "What is your name?" the soldier asked in Russian._

_He looked at the man, unsure of how to answer. He had a name. Didn't he? Why couldn't he remember it? He had to have one, so what was it?_

" _Where am I?" he asked in English. At least he thought it was English. It was difficult to concentrate, difficult to remember. He understood the man. He knew Russian but he didn't think he was Russian. English seemed more natural. He couldn't remember why._

_The man struck him across the cheek. "What is your name?" the man repeated in Russian._

_He pulled against the restraints. "Where am I?"_

_The man hit him again, this time with a fist. He tasted blood. "What is your name?" the man repeated._

" _I don't know," he answered in Russian. If they were speaking to him in Russian, he should answer that way._

" _Interesting," someone said. He recognized the voice. He was fairly certain it belonged to the little man with the glasses._

" _The electric shock has suppressed his memory," an older man with a Russian accent said. "I told you it would work."_

" _Sergeant Barnes?" the man with the glasses said. "Sergeant Barnes?"_

_He frowned. Were they talking to him? Who was Sergeant Barnes?_

" _Soldier!" The soldier shouted in Russian. He snapped to attention. This felt familiar. He was a soldier. Some part of him knew that. He was a Soldier._

" _Throw him in the cell. Let's see how long this lasts," the older man said._

" _What do we do if he remembers?" the little man with the glasses asked._

" _Apply the treatment again."_

_The Soldier watched as the two men retreated through the door. Two large men approached to undo the restraints. He lashed out, breaking one of the restraints and catching one man in the jaw with his metal arm. He didn't know where he was, but he didn't want to be taken anywhere else. The other man jammed a needle into his neck. He grasped at the men but his hand refused to obey. The Soldier felt his body go limp as he was hauled away._

 

* * *

 

The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon when Wanda awoke. Natasha was still fast asleep, but she knew someone who wasn't. Ever since the incident in Atlanta, Wanda had been able to feel Bucky's mind as clearly as she had always felt Pietro's. His feelings were always strong, but at night, when the noise from the others quieted, she felt him as clear as a bell. She couldn't always see his thoughts, for which she was thankful, but she knew what he was feeling. Whatever this memory was, it had left him shaken.

The suspension had hit him hard. For her it stung, but she knew it was justified. For Bucky it marked a severe setback. Over the last two weeks he had been forced to reevaluate his place on the team. If he wasn't trustworthy, then what was he? Who was he? He didn't think he was Bucky, and he didn't want to be the Winter Soldier, but where did that leave him?

Wanda crept downstairs quietly so as not to startle him. He was leaning on the counter with his head in his hands. Tears fell on the smooth granite. Wanda reached out, brushing against the edges of his mind. She felt him fighting for control. If she tried to approach him now, he might lash out. Gently, with the lightest touch she could manage, she reached out to smooth the rough edges, siphoning off the distress that kept him from remembering that what he had seen was long past. Slowly she heard his sobs subside and his breathing steady.

"Bucky?" she called softly, pretending she had just arrived. He wouldn't notice, he never did.

He straightened and wiped the tears from his eyes. "You're up early."

"I went to bed early." She started to make coffee. He would want a cup after this. "What was it?" she asked as she poured in the water.

Bucky took a breath, still shaking. "One of the early attempts at wiping my memory." His voice trembled as he spoke. "I woke up with no idea who I was. Zola even said my name a few times and I didn't recognize it."

Wanda opened the cabinet and took out the pancake mix. He was in control again, but he was still upset. Pancakes would help him relax. "Are you hungry?"

"I will be by the time those are ready," he said, handing her the eggs and milk from the refrigerator.

Wanda took out the mixing bowl and started to measure the ingredients. "Do you want chocolate chips?"

"I think we're out," Bucky said, opening the cabinet to check. "Pecans?"

"Oh, delicious!" Wanda said as she whisked the batter. Bucky took the pecans out of the cabinet and tossed her the bag. She stirred in a handful and poured the batter into the pan.

Bucky leaned against the counter sipping his coffee. "It just bothers me how easy it was," he said quietly. "I held them off for so long and then just like that, I was gone. So where does that leave me? When did I stop being the guy who fell out of that train?"

"I'm not sure it's that simple. Just like this." She waved her hand to flip a pancake. "I never stopped being me, but I'm also not who I was, especially after losing Pietro. All that never really goes away though, it's still part of me, there are just other parts now."

"Might help if I could remember them all," Bucky muttered.

Wanda shuffled the pancakes to a platter and poured a new batch as Sam came in from his morning run. He looked at the pancakes and then at Bucky.

"You up for sparring after breakfast?" he asked.

Bucky nodded. He had reluctantly started to work with Sam on sorting through his memories. Even after the suspension was up, it was unlikely that Bucky would go back into the field right away. Wanda could tell that he was eager to return, but no one wanted to risk another Atlanta incident.

"Good," Sam said. "Can we get some bacon?"

 

* * *

 

After breakfast, Bucky and Wilson went down to the basement. Bucky went to the equipment rack and picked up a pair of gloves. Wilson looked apprehensive.

"You didn't think I actually meant we were going to spar?" he asked.

"No," Bucky said shortly. "Just hold the bag."

Wilson shook his head and stood behind the bag to brace it. "So what happened?"

Bucky hit the bag in a steady rhythm as he recounted his dream for Wilson. "I don't know why that one was so bad," he said, landing a hard right. "They did worse after that."

Wilson grunted. "But that was the first time?"

"I think so," Bucky said.

"Sam?" Natasha called from the top of the stairs.

"I'm a little busy!" Wilson called back.

"We have a mission, briefing in 15 minutes."

"Ok! Be up in a minute." He turned back to Bucky. "Let's just cut to the chase. What's bothering you about that dream?"

Bucky hit the bag. "Everything from before that is gone." He put out a hand to stop the bag. "That's where Bucky died," he said quietly.

"Ok, so let me ask this. They took all that from you, but do you want it back?"

Bucky frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Do you want that life back? Do you want to go back to being that guy you were before the war?"

Bucky looked at him, at a loss for words. He had spent the last three years just trying to recover his memories. He had never stopped to think what he was supposed to do with them.

"You don't have to answer that, just think about it," Wilson said. "Just think about if you want to try and get that guy back, or if you want to move forward and try to figure out who you are now. Or maybe somewhere in the middle. There's no easy answer here."

"I don't know what else to do," he said finally.

"Well think about it and we can discuss it when I get back," Wilson said. He started up the stairs and paused. "And so help me if those Oreos are gone when I get back I'm kicking your ass."

"So you keep saying," Bucky said turning back to the bag.

 

* * *

 

Sharon set the jet down in Clint's yard. He emerged from the house a moment later and boarded.

"You get the briefing I sent you?" Steve asked as Sharon lifted off.

"Yeah, sounds pretty standard."

"Well, we're still down by three, so I could use something standard," Natasha said.

"You want a break?" Clint asked Steve.

Steve looked like he was about to say no, but changed his mind. "Yeah, I could use a quick nap."

Clint slid into the co-pilot seat as Steve unfolded the seat to lay down. "So how's Wanda?" he asked.

Sharon shrugged and adjusted the pitch. "Oh you know, she's going a little stir crazy, but I think she's learned her lesson. And she has Bucky to keep her company."

"I really hate that for her," Clint said. "Vision is a good guy and I know she misses him."

"There's a reason people like us don't get married," Sharon said, casting a woeful glance back at Steve. "I don't know how you made it work."

"Found the right woman," Clint said. "Oh she wanted to know if you guys were coming for Thanksgiving."

"Does that invitation include everyone in the house?" Sharon asked cautiously.

"If you mean Barnes, yeah. Laura insisted on that. She said we couldn't let the poor guy miss his first Thanksgiving in 70 years. He and Steve still having problems?"

"Worse than ever," Sharon muttered. "I figured Steve would need a few days to cool off, but I'm about over it and I want my house back. You know, no one ever mentioned in the newsreels what a stubborn ass he can be."

"Maybe it's time you sat him down and had a heart to heart."

"Natasha tried that, Sam's tried. I honestly don't know what else I can do."

"You'll think of something," Clint assured her. "But think of it before Thanksgiving."

"I think I'll just leave Steve home for the weekend," she said, only half joking.

 

* * *

 

Bucky entered the study. Over the past year, Sharon and Natasha had compiled and sorted decades worth of records dealing with HYDRA and SHIELD. They had a good deal of information specifically on his years as the Winter Soldier, but he was looking for something older. Wilson had asked if he even wanted his old life back, but he couldn't answer that until he had a clearer picture of what that life had been. He had some fragmented memories, but he needed more. Reports couldn't tell him who he had been, but an account of his actions might shed some light on the holes in his past.

He opened the drawer where Sharon had filed all of the information they had collected on him. Steve had compiled much of it during his search and Sharon and Natasha had collected the rest. The SSR files had been released along with everything else when Natasha had leaked SHIELD and HYDRA files on the internet. He wanted to remember as much as he could on his own, so he hadn't read through them yet, but maybe it was time.

He sat at the desk and carefully scanned through the files. Around the third one, he started to think he was on a fool's errand. None of this could tell him the type of person he had been. There were accounts of missions, commendations for bravery, a few reprimands for unseemly behavior, but none of it answered the question. One thing he did know was that Bucky Barnes belonged to the past. He had died in the Alps in 1945. The man who had survived was something else entirely. He set the file down and reached for another as Lang and Wanda came in to the study.

"Hey we've been looking for you. What are we doing this time?" Lang asked. "They'll be back tomorrow night, but that's two days."

Bucky laid down the file in his hand. He wasn't any closer to an answer. Maybe focusing on something else for a few days would help clear his head.

"We're switching roles," he said. "I'll be breaking in, and you need to stop me before I reach the target."

He had been thinking about this since the last mission. Infiltration was Lang's strong suit but from what Bucky could tell, he had very little experience with defense. It would be a frustrating few days for him, but if they could work through it, it would help Lang immensely.

"Ok, what's the target?" Wanda asked.

Bucky looked around for something suitable.

"What about this?" Scott said grabbing a file folder off the desk. Bucky recognized it immediately but hid his discomfort. "That'll work."

"Are you sure?" Wanda asked.

"A file folder is a realistic target," he said. "You're going to hide it and figure out how to keep me from getting out of the house with it."

"This one seems a bit harder."

"Just think how much easier it'll be when you have to do it for real," Bucky pointed out. "We'll used the paint guns again and you can use the suit this time."

"Which side am I on this time?" Wanda asked.

Bucky considered that. "You go with Lang for now. We'll switch off tomorrow. I'm going to run to Starbucks. Hide the file and come up with a plan."

"Ok, we can do that," Lang said. "What's the safe word this time?"

"Potato," Bucky said. "I'll be back in half an hour." He headed to his room to get the photostatic glove. Wanda followed him.

"Are you ok?" she asked. She reached out to help him fasten the seam of the glove. "You seemed a little agitated when Scott wanted to use the folder."

"I'm fine," he said. She knew he was lying, but he didn't feel like talking about it right now. "I'm just a little jumpy from this morning."

Wanda nodded. She didn't seem convinced, but she didn't press the matter. "Get me a caramel macchiato." she said as she went back to plan the exercise.

Bucky grabbed his jacket and headed out, hoping the walk might help clear his head.

 

* * *

 

The house was quiet when he returned. He eased in and set Wanda's macchiato on the counter, watching carefully for any hint of Lang or Wanda. The file would not be easy to find, but he was well trained for this. He removed the photostatic glove and headed upstairs to the study. That room would take the longest to search so he wanted to eliminate it first. He wouldn't put it past Lang to leave the file on the desk where he had found it. He eased into the study and looked around. Everything was just as he had left it, but the file was gone. He scanned the room, trying to get in Lang's head. He was a burglar and probably familiar with how to hide things. Bucky looked around for anything out of place. On top of the shelf he noticed the edge of a folder peaking out.

Bucky stood on the arm of the chair to reach it. He grabbed the edge of the folder and pulled. A vase toppled off. Letting the folder fall to the ground, he made a grab for the vase, catching it deftly in his left hand. The folder hit the ground and the contents scattered. He set the vase on the floor and went to pick up the documents. He shoved them back into the folder but his gaze lingered on the picture of himself from the army. The picture of Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers best friend, the man he trusted more than anyone. A dead man in every way that mattered. Steve had trusted Bucky, but Bucky no longer existed. He opened the file to pin it back in place and saw the other picture, the image of what they had turned him into. The Winter Soldier. Zola's guinea pig. Hydra's Fist. Pierce's Asset. That wasn't him either. He was something different. Something in between the bright eyed young soldier and the mechanical assassin. Bucky felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Whatever he was now, he was a disappointment.

Without warning, something flew at him from the vase. He managed to swat Lang away with his metal arm, but he couldn't do this right now. He should never have let Lang use the folder.

"Potato!" he yelled. Lang didn't seem to hear and attacked again. Bucky dodged and Lang bounced back toward him.

"Potato dammit!" Bucky yelled slamming his hand down on the floor at Lang. Lang reverted to normal size as Wanda rushed in, ready to intervene. Bucky stepped away, clenching his fist.

"Ok, ok! I didn't hear you! Sorry!" Lang said.

Frustrated, Bucky grabbed the vase and threw it at Lang. Wanda caught it before it broke, but Bucky barely noticed.

"Pay attention!" he yelled. "No wonder you wound up in prison if you're too stupid to remember one fucking word!"

He couldn't see Lang's face, but there was anger in his movement as he shrank and jumped. Bucky dodged and swatted him into the floor. He reappeared, groaning in pain. Bucky took a step toward him.

"Bucky, you need to calm down," Wanda said. Bucky turned to her. His anger ebbed away, but her eyes looked strange.

"Are you using your powers on me?" he asked. He didn't feel angry, but he should be.

"You aren't giving me much of a choice," she said.

Bucky held up his hands. "You can let me go now."

Wanda let the influence dissipate. Bucky felt his anger return. "You were controlling my mind!" he screamed. She had lied to him. He had trusted her more than anyone he had met since his escape and she had betrayed him.

"You were yelling at Scott!" she said. "I was afraid you were going to hurt him! That's why you gave us the kill code. At least I know what to expect if I do it this way."

Bucky quivered with rage. She had done this before. He grabbed her by the throat and shoved her against the wall. "How many times, Wanda?" he demanded.

She pushed him across the room into the desk. "I've never forced you to do anything. I was trying to help!"

Bucky regained his balance and lunged at her. Wanda held him in place. Suddenly she was knocked back against the wall. Bucky staggered forward for a few steps. He felt a sharp tap on his chin and dropped to the ground. When he regained his senses, Lang was standing between them.

"Stop it!" he yelled. "No one is killing anyone on my watch!" He turned to Wanda. "You are going to apologize. I don't know anything about your powers, but that really seems like a breach of etiquette. And you're going to apologize for trying to kill her," he said to Bucky. "I don't care what she did, that's too far. And maybe if you feel like it you can apologize for being a total dick to me a minute ago."

Bucky looked at Wanda, a red mark was starting to appear on her throat. He should have been horrified but all he could think was that she had betrayed his trust. He stood up and walked out. "Steve was right. We should be off the team."

He retreated to his room and locked the door. If he saw Wanda right now, he was going to hurt her. He would be suspended for another mission at least once Steve heard about this. He didn't need to make it worse.

 

* * *

 

Wanda rubbed the spot on her face where Scott had hit her. She had never seen him angry before. Scott sank down on the edge of an overturned chair holding his head in his hands.

"Oh god, I've been in charge for 12 hours and this is already an unmitigated disaster," he moaned.

"If you were listening, none of this would have happened," Wanda accused him. Bucky had been upset that day and something had set him off. Scotts attack had just made it worse.

"I'm not a mind reader Wanda!" Scott snapped. "But you are, and you probably should have known he wasn't going to react well to the whole Jedi Mind Trick thing!"

"I was trying to keep him from killing you!" Wanda shouted.

"That's what he gave us the code word for!" Scott reminded her. "Or just restrain him!"

"I was just trying to calm him down so that he could get control of himself," Wanda explained through clenched teeth.

Scott sighed. "I'm going to take a shower. Let's give him a few hours to cool off."

He left to take off his suit. Wanda looked off in the direction of Bucky's room. She could feel his anger. It was a common emotion for him, but it had never been directed at her. It almost burned. She knew he had a right to be upset, but it hurt that he thought she would harm him. Maybe she had overstepped, but she had never expected him to react so violently. She had opened herself up to him more than anyone since Pietro and yet he didn't trust her.

She went downstairs, trying to put some distance between them to dull the connection. On the counter she saw a Starbucks cup with her name. It was still warm. Fifteen minutes ago, everything had been fine. Things had gone wrong so fast that her macchiato hadn't even cooled down. She sat down at the table and sipped it slowly. Once Bucky had had a chance to calm down, she would explain. It has been the best way to resolve the situation. Once he calmed down he would see that.

 

* * *

 

Scott waited in the kitchen that night for Barnes and Wanda. He knew they both had a habit of coming downstairs in the middle of the night and he was determined to resolve this before the team returned. He had shrunk down, hoping to observe them and figure out what was going on. He had 18 hours to fix this before the team came home or he would have to tell Steve.

He knew it was probably wrong to keep something like this from him, but Barnes was right, he was a joke. If that was ever going to change, he needed to learn to take control of the situation. This problem had come up on his watch and he was going to solve it. If he couldn't, Barnes and Wanda would be suspended longer or worse, kicked off the team permanently. If that happened, they would never forgive each other. He had to fix this.

Wanda was the first one down. She had been crying, but she tried to hide it. When Barnes came down, he found Wanda in the kitchen. He paused, watching her carefully.

"I'm not using my powers," she said.

"Well I'm still angry so I figured you weren't," Barnes growled, taking a glass out of the cabinet. Scott inched forward, ready to intervene.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you," Wanda insisted. "I was trying to help."

"That was the worst thing you could have done," Barnes berated her. "70 years, I was so twisted around I didn't know my own name. Being in control of my own mind is all I have some days and you took that!"

"It's not the same," Wanda argued. "I never made you do anything. I only tried to calm you down before you did something you would regret. I was trying to help!"

"That doesn't help me!" Barnes smashed the glass on the counter under his hand. Scott dove behind the fruit bowl to avoid the flying shards. "I know it scares everyone when I'm not in control, it scares me too, but at least it's real!"

Wanda glared at him. "It doesn't scare me, but I'm insulted that you don't trust me." Barnes took a step forward. Wanda's hands shot up. Barnes' arm glowed red, pinned to the counter. He drew his knife with his other hand.

Scott lept off the edge and reverted to normal size, taking off his helmet. "Ok, time out! Geez, I thought you two were friends!"

"A friend wouldn't twist my thoughts around," Barnes accused her.

"That's not what I was doing!" Wanda had released Barnes' arm, but neither one seemed ready to back down.

"No! No more fighting! Neutral corners!" Scott said, waving them apart. "You're friends. I want both of you to sit down and we're going to talk about this." Neither moved. "Please?" he added.

Barnes slumped down at the kitchen table. Wanda sat down at the island with her arms across her chest, looking at the ceiling.

"Ok, that's a start," Scott said calmly. "Wanda, why don't you explain why you mind whammied him?"

"That's not what I did," Wanda contradicted him.

"You were doing something," Barnes snarled.

Scott held up his hand. "You'll get your turn." Scott turned back to Wanda. "What were you doing?"

"I don't need to read minds to feel emotions," Wanda explained. "You project them, and sometimes I can feel you struggling for control. I wasn't controlling you, I was trying to help you calm down so you could control yourself."

Scott nodded. "Bucky, tell her how that makes you feel." He paused. "It's ok if I call you Bucky, right?"

Barnes ignored him, glaring at Wanda. "I've had enough people scrambling my head without you trying it too."

"Do you think I'd do anything to hurt you?" she demanded.

"I don't know anymore, Wanda," Barnes snapped. "I didn't think you'd do this!"

"I was trying to help!"

"Did you make me lie to Steve?" Barnes demanded.

"No!"

Barnes stood up and headed for the door. "Just stay away from me!"

"Hey where are you going?" Scott asked.

"None of your damn business!" Barnes snarled.

"You made it my business when you tried to kill each other on my watch!" Scott yelled, exasperated. "Look, she was wrong, but her heart was in the right place. And Wanda, you still owe him an apology."

"Don't bother. Just stay away from me!" Barnes yelled, heading for the basement. Wanda hurried off upstairs, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Ok, good talk guys." Scott slumped forward and let his head thump against the counter. "I am so screwed."

 

* * *

 

_He sat chained in the dark cell. He was fed three times a day but otherwise left alone. Once a day the little man would come by to ask him a series of questions. So far he had been unable to answer. He had been fed his second meal about an hour earlier, which meant that the little man would be arriving soon. Right on cue, the door opened and the man with glasses entered his cell._

" _Good afternoon," the man said. "How are you today?"_

" _Cold," he answered. He had tried ignoring the man or asking questions but they were answered with blows._

" _What is your name?"_

" _I don't-" suddenly something in the back of his mind snapped into focus. "Barnes._ _Barnes, Sergeant, 32557038_ _."_

_He looked at the man with the glasses. He felt a stabbing pain in his head as flashes of the man surged through his mind. Leaning over him with needles, making notes and calmly ordering people around while he screamed in pain. Zola. Where was he? What had this monster done to him?_

" _You bastard!" he screamed, jumping to his feet. The collar around his neck held him back, cutting into his throat. "_ _Barnes, Sergeant, 32557038."_

" _9 days this time." Zola said. "Wipe him again. See if we can extend it to 14."_

 _This time? How many times had they done this already? "_ _Barnes, Sergeant, 32557038. My name is Bucky!"_

_Bucky pulled at the chain with his metal arm. He wasn't sure where that had come from or what had happened to the other one, but that was a problem for later. The bolt started to come away from the wall as a needle was jabbed into his neck. He went limp. It all came back to him as they unshackled him and dragged him down the hall. The train, the fall, the snow, the blood, the pain, the arm. The chair._

" _My name is Bucky Barnes," he mumbled, barely able to move his lips as they strapped him to the chair and wedged a piece of rubber between his teeth. In a few minutes he would be gone again. The paddles pressed against his skin and the electricity surged through his brain._

Gasping, Bucky awoke on the couch in the basement. He rubbed his face, trying to remember how he had gotten there. He took a few deep breaths and thought back. He remembered coming down here to work off some of his anger. Wanda. He felt a surge of rage as it came back to him. She had used her powers to control him.

Wanda knew him better than anyone these days. He confided in her when he didn't know where else to turn and she had betrayed him. How could he ever trust her again? How was what she had done any different from Zola's conditioning?

He tried to remember exactly what had happened. The whole day was a blur and he had been too upset to think straight. His dream last night had unnerved him and the day had only gotten worse. He had tried to kill her. He remembered the feel of her throat in his hand. He had been angry enough to strangle her. The thought made him sick to his stomach. She had crossed a line, but even if he never wanted to see her again, he still cared for her too much to harm her.

"Barnes?" Lang called from the top of the stairs.

"I'm down here," Bucky called back. He remembered that he had attacked Lang too. Lang edged cautiously down into the basement.

"Are you ok? It's almost noon."

"Yeah, I think I'll stay down here for a while," Bucky said quietly. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

"Well it's partly my fault for not paying attention," Lang admitted. "But if you and Wanda could patch things up before the others get home tonight that would be great. This is kind of a black mark on my record."

Bucky shook his head. "After Atlanta, she," he paused, "she went inside my mind to sort things out. I would have thought after seeing that, she'd understand. Guess I was wrong."

Lang turned to go back upstairs and paused. "You know I haven't seen my daughter in over a year. I know to her it probably seems like I abandoned her, but it's for her own good. And yeah, you could probably argue that I'm a total jackass for doing it, but it was the right thing to do. Sometimes doing what's best for someone doesn't always look like it to them." He took a breath. "Just something to think about."

He retreated upstairs without waiting for Bucky's reply. Bucky lay back down on the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling.

 

* * *

 

Sharon yawned as they flew back from the mission. It had been an easy one, and if the Avengers were there, they had decided not to intervene. Everything had gone smoothly for once. Even Steve seemed to be in a good mood, but she knew that would vanish the moment they walked into the house.

Living with so many people wasn't easy and they all got annoyed with someone from time to time, but nothing had ever affected them this deeply. She was worried about Steve, but mostly she was just tired of having to walk on eggshells around him. She looked back. Sam and Clint were asleep and Steve was sitting in the back making some adjustments to his shield.

"Can you take over for a minute?" she asked Natasha.

Natasha flipped the controls to her side as Sharon made her way to the back. She fixed two cups of coffee and settled into the chair beside Steve.

"Did you get it working?"

"No, I'm going to have to have Scott look at it when we get home," he said, laying the cuff down and taking the cup from her.

"You know, it occurred to me the other day that we've never been on a real vacation."

"Wait, our trip to Boston didn't count?" Steve asked.

"We were gone for two days," Sharon reminded him. "I'm talking about a long relaxing get away with a quiet sandy beach and unlimited margaritas."

"Those places usually have pretty high crime rates," Steve pointed out. "I might not be a lot of fun to go with."

"I wasn't planning to let you leave the resort." She took his hand. "We've been doing this nonstop for over a year. I think everyone could use a little time off, you included. The Avengers are out there; the world won't fall apart if you take a week off."

"That's usually exactly when it decides to fall apart," Steve said. Sharon looked at him with pleading eyes. "Ok, you win. After Wanda gets off suspension I'll let Natasha take over for a while and we'll go somewhere."

Sharon frowned. "What about Bucky?"

"I still haven't decided if I'm putting him back on the team," Steve said.

"If you would actually talk to him, it might be easier to decide that. I know you're still mad-"

"I'm not mad Sharon, I just don't know who he is anymore. He's reckless and unreliable and I can't put him in the field if I can't trust him."

"Well then get to know him again!" Sharon said sharply. "You're not the same guy you were in 1945 either."

Steve didn't respond.

"Ok, be that way. I've had it. You're sleeping on the couch until you change your attitude." Sharon stood up and headed back to her seat. Steve followed.

"What?" he asked in disbelief. "You're the one who begged me to move in!"

"And now I'm kicking you out. I'm tired of having to tiptoe around the two of you in my own home, so until you want to act like an adult and try to work things out, the shop is closed for business," she said, gesturing toward her body.

Steve scowled. "Fine, I went 97 years without a girlfriend. I can do it again."

"Well, 70 years of that was the world's longest cold shower," Sharon reminded him. "But yeah, Give that a shot."

She switched the controls back to her side as he stormed back to his seat. One way or another she was going to fix this, even if she had to kick Steve out of the house.

 

* * *

 

That evening, Wanda was in the kitchen making dinner. Bucky had slept in the basement and had not come up all day, even to eat. She had tried to shut herself off from his mind, but it was difficult. Whatever she had done after Atlanta had bonded them in a way that she couldn't sever. She could quiet it if she concentrated, but the turmoil and anger he had felt yesterday was too sharp to ignore. His rage had softened, but now she just felt an emptiness from him.

That frightened her more than anything. She had felt that from him a lot over the past two weeks whenever they talked about Steve. It was a sense of loss and isolation. To feel that directed at her was painful. She hadn't expected Bucky to be thrilled with what she was doing, but she thought he would at least understand. Neither she nor Scott had felt the need to resort to using the kill code and with Bucky's warning that he could not anticipate the result, she felt this was a gentler option. She had thought he would agree, but apparently she was wrong.

What hurt the most was that he didn't trust her. She had opened up to him more than anyone else since Pietro died. Even if she had been wrong, she had thought that Bucky would at least trust her intentions. Pietro's death had left a gaping wound in her soul that she thought would never heal, yet somehow Bucky had begun to fill the void. She couldn't bear to lose that again.

Wanda grabbed an onion and started chopping it as a tear fell down her cheek. The recipe didn't call for it, but she didn't feel like talking if Scott happened to walk in. She could always save it for an omelette tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

Steve lingered by the car for a moment as the others went inside. He was tired. The mission had been easy, but coming home wasn't the escape it had once been. Things between him and Bucky were stressful enough, but with Sharon mad at him, he would have given anything for another mission. He understood her frustration, but things with Bucky weren't going to be so easy to resolve. He had thought about it from every angle and he still couldn't see a scenario where Bucky's actions made sense. He took a breath of the cool night air and headed inside. Scott was in the kitchen washing dishes.

"Hey, how was the mission?" he asked. Steve took a deep breath. He wasn't in the mood for Scott's perky demeanor right now.

"I'll fill you in tomorrow. I'm going to turn in." He headed upstairs to take a shower, stopping in Sharon's room to get a change of clothes.

"I was serious by the way," she said as he walked in. "You're sleeping on the couch until you change your attitude."

"Well all my clothes are in here since you insisted I move in," he said waving his pajamas. "Unless you want me to sleep naked."

"Sleep however you want, just don't do it here," Sharon said. She left to go back downstairs."

Steve took his clothes and went to the bathroom. He lingered in the shower, trying to think of a solution to his sleeping situation. The others would be up for hours, so the couch was out. He thought about the den, but the noise from the living room would just keep him up. The basement had a couch, but there was a good chance that Bucky was down there. The only other option was the study. It was a little cluttered, but if he moved the desk back it should work. He dried off and put on his pajamas.

He grabbed a set of sheets out of the linen closet and few extra blankets for padding on the hard floor. He opened the door to the study and quickly abandoned the idea. The room was a chaotic mess. Books and papers were strewn everywhere. Furniture was turned over and Peggy's vase was in the middle of the floor on top of it all. Taking a deep breath, he closed the door. He would deal with that tomorrow. Right now he needed to sleep.

He looked around the hallway. Natasha would probably let him crash with her, but he felt uneasy intruding on Wanda. Sam and Scott wouldn't mind, but their room was the smallest and the space between the beds was barely enough for them to walk. If he tried to squeeze in there, they would probably step on him. He looked at his old room. The door was ajar and the lights were off. Bucky never went to bed early and he was probably downstairs. He still wasn't ready to talk to Bucky, especially in the mood he was in, but he would be fast asleep by the time Buck came up. He slipped in and closed the door, settling into his old bed. In minutes he fell into a fitful sleep.

 

* * *

 

Steve rolled over and looked at the clock again. It was 1 AM. He had slept for a few hours, but he couldn't seem to settle down. It had only been a couple of weeks, but he had gotten used to having Sharon beside him. He sat up and turned on the light. All he wanted was one uninterrupted night of sleep, but that wasn't going to happen. As he looked through the shelf above the bed for something to read, Bucky entered.

"You're in my bed."

Steve kept his eyes on the bookshelf. "I Thought you were sleeping on the floor."

"Seemed like a waste."

"Fine, I'll go sleep on the couch," Steve grumbled, throwing back the covers.

"Forget it," Bucky muttered. "I was going to move back to the floor anyway." He reached under the bed and took out the sleeping bag. "Bed feels like I'm sleeping in an oven."

Steve pulled a book off the shelf and opened it while Bucky changed and settled himself on the floor. He hadn't expected Bucky to take the bed after he left. Now he felt guilty for displacing him. Steve closed the book to look at the cover. He was three pages in and he realized he didn't even know what he was reading. He turned back to the first page, but the words seemed to slip out of his mind.

He looked over at Bucky. Ever since their argument, things had seemed wrong. It had started before that, but he had never fought with Bucky this long. Bucky had always been there for him, always saved him when he was in over his head, always cheered him up when he was upset. He wanted things to be simple again. He knew it was naive to think things could ever been the same, but he wanted Bucky back.

Steve closed the book. He had Bucky back, at least as much as he ever would. He couldn't let some childish fantasy steal the time they had been given. "Bucky?" he asked hesitantly.

"What?" Bucky asked. He didn't sound angry, just weary.

"I've been meaning to ask you, in DC, why did you pull me out of the river?"

"You asked me that in Bucharest," Bucky muttered.

"And I didn't really believe your answer," Steve told him. "You could have killed me and you didn't. You could have let me drown, but you pulled me out. Why?" Bucky rolled over to look at Steve.

"I don't know. There was just something telling me to save you."

"Did you know who I was?" Steve asked.

"No," Bucky said. "I almost did after the freeway. I started to remember things, just pieces. Falling out of the train, Zola's experiments. I couldn't make the connection, there was just this certainty that I knew you. Then they," Bucky's voice faltered, "they put me in the chair. On the Helicarrier I didn't know you at all.

"Some part of you did," Steve said. He would never believe otherwise, no matter how many times Bucky said it.

Bucky shook his head. "I wanted answers, you were my only link to them."

Steve looked down at his hands. "Have you found them?"

"Some," Bucky replied. "Being here I've managed to put together more than I did in two years alone, but there's a lot that I'm not sure is ever coming back." He paused. "And a lot of stuff that's never going away."

"What I said in Prague," Steve began.

"You were right," Bucky said. "I shouldn't have been there."

"I overreacted," Steve said. "I didn't mean it to come out like that."

"Doesn't mean you were wrong," Bucky said quietly. "I've been trying to recover what the Winter Soldier took from me, but I'm not sure I can. I'm never going to be who I was back then. I don't think you've realized that yet."

"I'm starting to," Steve said quietly. "But I'm not the same either and it's not just the serum. The world is different and we can't go back." Peggy had said that to him years ago and now it was starting to sink in.

"I feel like I ruined everything by turning up here."

"Buck."

"I'm right, though," Bucky said. "You had a life, friends, a girlfriend. This job, what you do, it takes a toll and I feel like I'm just adding to that."

"I've been trying to build this team and keep everyone together and it's been harder than I thought it was going to be," Steve admitted. "I don't think I was prepared to help you. I thought we could just go right back to saving the world together, but this reckless streak you have, it scares me."

"You see the irony here," Bucky said with a touch of wry humor.

Steve laughed. "I know, but if you're rushing in without looking, who's going to stop me?" Steve took a breath to steady himself for the next part. "I feel like you're jumping into trouble and you don't care if you make it out or not."

"Sometimes I don't. Sometimes, I just want it t stop," Bucky said quietly. He looked shaken. "It's not that I want to die, but somedays I don't really want to live either. I just feel like I'm alive because I don't know what else to do."

Steve moved down to sit beside Bucky. "I've been kind of a jerk lately but that doesn't mean I've given up on you. You're family and I'm here for you. As long as it takes."

Bucky nodded. "I know, and I let you down."

Steve put a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Look, going after Wanda, I think we all would have done it. I just don't understand why you felt you had to lie to me about it. Sam or Natasha, sure, but not me."

"I don't know," Bucky confessed. "It was just a reflex, like," Bucky paused. His gaze grew distant and confused. "I had a sister," he said finally.

"Two of them," Steve confirmed. "And a brother."

"I don't remember them," Bucky said. "I don't know their names, anything, but me and Wanda, it's what I think having a sister was like."

"Is that all it was?" Steve laughed. For the first time in weeks, he felt like he knew who he was talking to.

"Why is that funny?" Bucky asked.

"It's not," Steve said, still laughing. "I'm relieved. I just couldn't understand why you would lie to me. It makes sense now!"

"Natasha's right. You really do need a vacation."

Steve rubbed his forehead. "Maybe so."

"I want you to trust me."

"I do, Buck." Steve hung his head. "But sometimes I'm not sure it's you. I know you're in there somewhere, but your jumbled up with the Winter Soldier. Sometimes I can't be sure which one of you is on the mission."

Bucky took a notebook out of his bag and wrote something down. He ripped out the page and handed it to Steve. "That's why I want you to have this."

The writing was in Russian with what looked like pronunciation guides to the side. "What is it?"

"This is the trigger phrase."

Steve felt his breath catch in his throat. "No, Buck, I'm not going to use this."

"That's why I'm giving it to you," Bucky said, still holding out the page. "I don't trust the Winter Soldier either, and until we can get this stuff out of my head, I need to know that he can be controlled. We both do. The book is out there, there are other Hydra agents who might know it. If I'm compromised again, I need to know that there's some safeguard against it. You're the only one I trust to do that. "

Steve took the page. "I don't speak Russian."

"I can help you," Bucky said. "Just remember not to say them in order."

Steve looked at the words. "How do you say this one a the bottom? Sputnik?" Bucky opened his mouth to speak but before he could, his eyes rolled back and he fell to the floor.

"Natasha!" Steve screamed. He jumped up and ran across the hall.

 

* * *

 

" _What are you doing!" Bucky asked running into the kitchen. The trash was strewn all over the floor, the bin tipped on its side. One of his sisters was on the floor crying and the other was looking on in horror._

" _We were just taking out the trash." the older one said._

" _That's my job!" Bucky shouted. "Look at this, you just made a mess of things."_

_The older sister started crying. "We just wanted to help."_

" _I don't need you to help! You just made it worse."_

" _You've been so busy and you looked so tired. We just wanted to help," the younger one sobbed._

_Bucky rubbed his forehead. Steve had been sick for a few weeks and he had been spending all his free time at the Rogers, helping with the housework or just keeping Steve company. Steve's mother had to work and he was worried that Steve might make himself sicker if someone wasn't there to watch out for him. He had been neglecting his own chores and his sisters had tried to pick up the slack._

_He picked the younger one up off the floor and hugged them both. He bent down to kiss the older one on the forehead. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. You don't need to worry about me. Let's get this cleaned up and go to the park."_

" _What's going on in here?" his mother asked, coming into the kitchen with his younger brother in her arms. His sisters looked at him, panicked._

" _Nothing, Ma. I was taking out the trash and I tripped. They were helping me clean it up."_

_His mother smoothed his hair out. "You have been running yourself ragged, Bucky. I'll clean this up, you three go out and get some fresh air." She went to the cookie jar in the top cabinet and handed him a quarter. "You can have some ice cream too, but don't tell your father. Take Steve if he's feeling up to it."_

_Bucky kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, Ma."_

 

* * *

 

Voices started to filter into Bucky's head. "It's a Soviet kill code meant to render the subject unconscious. It's a fail safe for operatives who are difficult to control."

"How long is he going to be out?"

Bucky opened his eyes and slowly sat up. "How long has it been?"

"A couple of minutes." Natasha told him.

Steve sank down to the bed with relief. "You scared me, I thought I had killed you for a second."

Bucky rubbed his head. "You weren't supposed to actually say it."

"I thought it was part of the phrase."

"Yeah, I should have marked that one better," Bucky groaned.

"Well we know it works." Natasha said. "What was the point of this?"

"I wanted Steve to have the trigger phrase and the kill code, just in case I'm compromised."

"Smart," Natasha agreed.

Bucky looked at her for a moment. "You memorized it while I was out, didn't you?" Natasha smirked.

"How many times has it been used?" Steve asked.

"Four or five that I remember," Bucky groaned. "I think they put it in sometime in the early 70's. Maybe the late 60's. I'm not sure. It was after the Berkeley Mission."

"Wouldn't be a bad idea to give everyone the kill code," Natasha suggested. "Just in case.

"I gave it to Lang and Wanda already," Bucky said.

"You should probably give it to the others too," Natasha said.

"Fine," Bucky grumbled. "But anytime Wilson uses it I get to punch him in the gut."

Steve stifled a laugh. "What if he needs it?"

"I still get to hit him," Bucky insisted. "I don't want him enjoying it too much."

"Alright, if that's over, I would really like to go back to sleep," Natasha said, heading back to her room.

"Goodnight," Steve called. He slid under the covers. "I'm going back to bed too."

Bucky took a journal out of his backpack. "I'll be in the kitchen. I remembered something while I was out and I want to get it down."

"Goodnight," Steve yawned as he settled back down. "Good to have you back pal."

"You too," Bucky said as he eased the door closed.

He went down to the kitchen, not surprised to find the light on. Wanda was there leaning against the counter. Her eyes were puffy. Her nightmares sometimes made her cry, but Bucky had a gut wrenching suspicion that she hadn't been to bed yet. He didn't like being mad at her. He still didn't like her toying with his head, but if he trusted her with the kill code, couldn't he trust her not to hurt him?

"Hey," he said sliding past her to get a glass. He poured some milk and opened the cabinet to get a package of cookies. "Do you want some?"

She shook her head. Bucky stood on the other side of the counter and ate in silence as he wrote down the dream.

"I remembered something," he said when he had finished. Wanda looked up at him. "I had two little sisters. I still don't know their names but I can see their faces. You remind me a little of them, of what it's like to be a brother. Covering for you, it's the same sort of thing I would have done for them."

He handed her the journal. "I still don't like it, but I get that you were trying to help. And I'm sorry I accused you of making me lie to Steve."

Wanda read the entry and handed it back to him. "You remind me of Pietro sometimes," she said, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I miss him, but I also just miss having a brother." She paused. "And I missed you."

Bucky held an arm open. Wanda snuggled in, hugging him tightly. Bucky held her close, remembering how it felt to hold his sisters.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Bucky squeezed her gently.  "I'm sorry I tried to strangle you."

Wanda laughed as she nestled her head against his shoulder. "Pietro once threw a stapler at my head because I stole his Frisbee."

"Oh good, you're friends again!" Lang said from behind them.

Bucky whirled around. "Were you spying on us again?"

"This kitchen is public domain, if you want privacy, take it to the den," Lang said. "And no, Steve woke up the whole house screaming a minute ago and I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Did you want something?" Bucky asked impatiently.

"A glass of water," Lang answered going to the cabinet. "And if we could maybe just keep the last 48 hours to ourselves, that would be great."

"You realize lying is the reason we're in this situation," Wanda reminded him.

"I'm not saying lie, just maybe we don't need to mention all the details."

Bucky put a hand on Lang's shoulder. "Just tell him what happened. He'll respect that."

Lang sighed. "Fine, but can you just promise me we're done with all this?"

"We'll be perfect next time," Wanda promised.

"If there is a next time for me," Lang muttered. Heading back upstairs.

Wanda kissed Bucky on the cheek. "I'm going to sleep. We'll get Starbucks tomorrow."

"I'll be up in a minute," he said. "Sleep well."

As he watched Wanda leave he wondered what it might have been like if he had grown old with his siblings. He would never know, but he might have a chance to recapture it in some small way with Wanda. He still didn't have an answer to Wilson's question, but maybe Bucky wasn't as dead as he thought.

 

* * *

 

"This is pretty good coffee," Steve said as he and Bucky sat at the table the next morning. "I told you the machine was nothing to be afraid of."

"Yeah, only took me, what, five months to figure it out? I still like Wanda's idea of a French Press"

"Bucky, I owe you an apology for going off the way I did," Steve said.

Bucky shook his head. "You were right, I shouldn't have rushed back into the field."

"Even before that though," Steve said. "You asked a few times if I was ok and I wasn't."

"I might not be the best person to talk to about some things, but you shutting me out kind of hurt," Bucky confessed. "I always have time for your stupid problems."

Steve laughed as Lang came down, earlier than usual this time. Wanda came down behind him. Neither of them looked as though they had slept.

"Morning," Lang yawned.

"Morning," Steve said. "How did things go?"

Lang hesitated. Bucky nodded. "We had a few problems," he confessed.

Steve glanced at Bucky. "Oh? Anything I should know about?"

"We worked it out, but we should probably go talk in the den," Lang said.

Steve looked at Bucky and Wanda. "Alright," he said, following Lang.

Bucky and Wanda waited until they heard the door close and stood outside to listen. Lang recounted the events of the past two missions. Steve listened patiently until Scott finished. Even though he had encouraged Lang to come clean, Bucky worried that this could undo everything he and Steve had talked about last night. Finally Lang finished.

"Bucky said that he gave you a code word that could stop him. Why didn't you use it?" Steve asked.

"I don't think he really would have hurt either of us. He got carried away for a minute but I really think he would have stopped before he did anything serious."

Bucky drew back. He didn't know Lang felt that way. He wasn't sure he would have, but Lang seemed confident.

"Well," Steve said. "If you think you took care of it, we'll consider it settled. Do you still want to stay next time?"

"If you'll let me," Lang said.

Bucky and Wanda retreated back to the kitchen as the conversation wrapped up. Steve came back into the kitchen and looked at them sternly.

"Scott said you had some excitement?"

"We worked it out," Bucky said.

"Well, we're definitely carrying through with the last leg of your suspension, and Wanda, we've discussed using your powers on teammates before."

Wanda nodded. Oddly enough Steve smiled.

"I don't know if you remember this, but one Christmas, your sister Becky stole the last piece of pie while you were helping your dad set up the tree. You chased her down and sat on her until she apologized and promised to make a new pie."

Bucky laughed. "Geezes, I was kind of an ass as a kid."

Steve smirked. "You were 19."

"That was the first Christmas you spent with us." Bucky smiled as the memory suddenly came back. "Your mom had just died so I asked you over for Christmas Eve. You didn't eat much, so I was saving that pie for you. When I put Becky in a headlock it was the first time I'd heard you laugh in 6 months."

Bucky saw a bit of the sparkle return to Steve's eyes. Before he could say anything, Natasha came in. "Steve, Sharon needs us at the hanger."

Steve frowned. "The hanger? What's she doing out there?"

"She couldn't sleep." Natasha said.

Steve scowled. "She kicked me out of the bedroom and she spent all night at the hanger?"

"You can take it up with her later," Natasha said, "but she says we need to get out there."

"Fine," Steve muttered, heading upstairs to get dressed.

Natasha looked at Bucky and Wanda. "Does anyone want to tell me why the study is a wreck?"

Lang shrugged. "Team building exercise."

* * *

"When did you come out here?" Steve asked, as the others got out of the car. "I didn't even notice you were gone!"

"You were asleep," Sharon said. She probably wouldn't have told him even if he had been awake, but they had bigger concerns at the moment.

"You missed some excitement last night," Natasha told her. "Bucky and Steve made up by the way."

"Oh thank god!" Sharon whispered kissing Steve. "I don't think I could have kept that up for more than a couple of days."

Steve blushed slightly. "I don't think you would have had to."

Sharon led them inside and brought up an image on the screen of the item she had placed on the scanner.

"I couldn't sleep last night so I came out here to look at the jet. It was bothering me that the Avengers kept conveniently showing up, so I ran a full systems check and went over the surface of the ship with a fine tooth comb. I found this attached to the hull. This image is magnified 5000 times. The item itself is about the size of a grain of salt."

"What is it?" Wanda asked.

"It's a tracking beacon," Sharon said. "But something that tiny shouldn't exist."

"It doesn't." Scott took a small case out of his pocket and dropped something on the table. The beacon expanded to a normal size. Scott looked troubled. "My girlfriend joined the Avengers."

"What the hell? There's two of you?" Bucky asked.

"Well that would explain who attacked me on the ship," Steve said.

"Hope's father created the Ant-Man technology," Scott explained. "She has her own suit, except it can fly. Calls herself the Wasp."

"So that's how they've been following us," Sam said.

"Well that makes more sense," Natasha said examining the beacon. "She could have tagged the ship without anyone noticing, we didn't even notice she was on the team."

"When?" Wanda asked.

Sharon shrugged. "Could have been as far back as Chicago. It was near the transmitter array which masked the signal."

"Do we need to move the safe house?" Steve asked.

"I don't think so," Natasha said. "They've known we're in Baltimore for weeks now and they haven't done anything. Either the UN wants us captured publicly or Tony isn't sharing his toys again."

"Wouldn't hurt to set up a backup, just in case," Sharon said reluctantly. "What about Clint?"

"Tony wouldn't stoop that low," Steve assured her. Sharon wasn't so sure but Natasha and Steve knew Stark better than she did.

"We should tell him anyway." Natasha cautioned. "Can you disable it?"

"I already did," Sharon told her. "And I ran a scan on the signature. That was the only one."

"Well, we'll just have to hope that's enough." Natasha said soberly.

"Well if we're done, does anyone want to hit up that little cafe near the harbor," Sam suggested.

"Yes," Natasha said emphatically. "I need a mimosa."

"We'll need to swing by the house," Bucky said waving his metal hand.

"You guys go, we'll see you at home," Steve said.

The others departed leaving Sharon and Steve alone in the jet. Steve stood behind her wrapping his arms around her protectively.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just need some coffee or a nap."

Steve kissed her neck. "That was pretty sharp catching that tracking beacon."

"Too little, too late," Sharon said. "They could come for us any time they feel like it."

"We'll deal with it," Steve assured her. For the first time in weeks the strain was gone from his voice. Even though she knew what they were facing, his voice made her feel safer.

"So," he said. "Let's see about getting you that coffee."

"Good, and you can explain what missed while I was out here." Sharon shut down the systems and closed up the jet. She took Steve's arm as they walked down the ramp.

Steve paused. "Did you take my motorcycle here?"

"Yep," she handed him the keys. "And now that you're playing nice you can have your toys back."

Steve laughed. "Remind me never to really make you mad."

"Come on, I'm hungry," Sharon said. She settled on the bike behind Steve holding tightly to his waist. For just a moment, the world seemed to make sense again as they sped away from the airfield.

**-End-**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! Hope you enjoyed this one. Leave me a review and let me know what you think. If you're curious about Scott running away from home on Halloween, I wrote a story for that. It's chapter 2 my Mr. Roger's Neighborhood Story.


	19. Furnace: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the team is captured on a mission in San Francisco, it's up to Scott, Bucky, and Wanda to rescue the team.
> 
> Slight warning for Steve getting interrogated.

" _Geez, he got you good," Bucky said, holding the washrag to Steve's swollen eye. The bleeding had stopped, but he was going to have one hell of a bruise._

" _I had him on the ropes," Steve muttered._

" _Yeah and then he had you on the ground," Bucky replied. "Honestly Steve, I'm worried what's going to happen when I ship out."_

" _Nothing, I'm going with you."_

_Bucky sighed. "Would you let it go already? They're not going to take you and you're just going to get in trouble."_

" _Bucky-_

"-Bucky!"

Bucky opened his eyes and stared at Steve for a moment, trying to reconcile the tall, muscular man at the foot of his bed with the skinny punk he had been talking to a moment ago.

Steve frowned. "What year is it?"

"2017," Bucky replied as the haze cleared from his mind. It was dark but he could see that Steve was dressed. "What time is it?"

"3 AM. We have a mission in San Francisco and we have to leave in a few minutes. Shouldn't take too long though, we'll probably be back this afternoon. Go back to bed, I just didn't want to leave without telling you."

"No, I'm up now." Bucky threw back the covers and swung his feet out of the bed. The cold floor sent a shiver through him. He grabbed his bathrobe and followed Steve down the hall.

"You'll be ok, right?" Steve asked. For the first time in a while, it seemed like he was asking more as a courtesy than out of concern."

"Yeah," Bucky assured him. "Did you tell Lang?"

Steve shook his head. "Sam tried but he sleeps like a rock. You can fill them in later." He went to help Sharon in the armory. Bucky went downstairs to the kitchen. Natasha stood at the counter making coffee.

"Did Steve lift the suspension?" she asked.

"No, and I'm not going to ask," Bucky said. "These early morning missions are for the birds."

She smirked and took a travel mug out of the cabinet. "One time when Steve and I were working together at SHIELD I made him watch the Twilight Zone. He got so into it that he ended up staying up until 5AM. Then we got called out for a mission at 6. He was so tired he kept hearing things and thought there was some monster on top of the jet.

"Twilight Zone?" Sharon asked as she came down the stairs with Steve and Wilson. Natasha nodded. Sharon sighed. "That was a long week. He thought the laundry room was haunted."

"The dryer kept turning on by itself!" Steve snapped.

"It was broken," Sharon said flatly. "The super even told you that."

Bucky smirked, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "When he was twelve, the grocer down the street died and I convinced him that the store was haunted. For two months, he would always cut down the block to avoid it."

Steve rolled his eyes. "I fought off an alien invasion with a Norse God and you guys are making fun of me for believing in ghosts?"

"Let's go," Sharon said, patting him on the shoulder as she headed for the door. "You can hold my hand if things get scary."

"Hilarious," Steve called after her. He turned to Bucky. "Don't burn down the house while we're gone."

Bucky gave him a quick hug. "Don't blow up San Francisco. I still haven't been there."

"No promises," Steve said swinging the gear bag over his shoulder and following the others out the door. Bucky topped off his coffee and went back upstairs to grab his journal. He needed to write down the dream before he lost it again. If he hurried, he might get lucky and remember the rest of it.

 

* * *

 

The quiet hum of the electronics filled the jet as Hope waited for the signal from Stark. It had been a challenge to track Rogers and his team after they deactivated the homing beacon, but they had gotten lucky. She had managed to sneak aboard as Rogers team departed. Now she waited here alone with her target.

Sharon Carter sat in the pilot seat running system checks on the jet. It had been over two hours since the others had left and they were both starting to get a little stir crazy. Hope tried not to think about what would happen to Carter. It had taken her two weeks to convince Stark to carry out the plan after he had agreed to it. She didn't like it either, but they were out of time. They could smooth things over later after Scott and the others were safe.

The comm beeped and Carter sprang to her feet. "Steve? Is everything alright?"

"Affirmative. Threat neutralized. Heading back your way," Rogers said.

"See you soon." Carter kissed her fingers and touched them to the microphone, then headed back toward the galley.

"You still there Tinkerbell?" Stark asked.

"I'm here" she replied, stretching her legs and rubbing the kink out of her neck.

"Ok, they're heading back your way. Go time."

Hope flew out from her hiding place as Carter turned back towards her. She saw Hope, but too late to matter. Hope punched her on the jaw and she crumpled to the floor. Reverting to full size, Hope took out the cuffs and secured Carter's hands behind her back. She took out another set and secured her legs.

"Stark, I have her."

"Ok, keep her contained and wait for the signal."

"Remember the plan Tony," Rhodey chimed in. "You get Wilson. Vision will take care of Rogers and Hope and I will get Barton and Romanoff."

"I remember! Geez." Stark replied.

"You say that, but I really need you to get it this time," Rhodey said sharply. "We won't get another chance at this."

"I have eyes on Falcon. Iron Man out."

Hope turned back to Carter who was coming around. She pulled against the restraints but remained calm, carefully studying her surroundings. "You must be Hope."

"Yes. Where is Scott Lang?"

"Not here," Carter answered coolly.

"I really am sorry about this," Hope said. "But I just need to know if he's safe."

"He's fine," Carter replied tersely.

Vision floated through the hull of the jet. "They are on their way."

Hope nodded and closed up her helmet. "Get in position and wait for the signal. We only get one shot at this."

 

* * *

 

Steve ran towards the jet. The mission had gone quicker than they expected and if they hurried they could be back in bed by noon. Wanda and Scott might even still be asleep when they got returned. For a moment he wondered if he should even count this one towards the suspension. He yawned and continued running. That was a problem for tonight after a long nap.

"Sam, we're here. What's your ETA?" Silence greeted him. "Sam?"

Steve tapped the headset as he headed up the ramp. He had taken a few hard hits. Maybe it was malfunctioning.

"Sharon, can you-" His heart froze as he saw Sharon lying on the floor. He ran towards her.

"Steve, wait!" Natasha called.

Steve paused just a moment, turning back toward Natasha. As Vision rose out of the floor to block his escape he realized his mistake. He tried to run while Vision was still immaterial but Vision grabbed him from behind with a vice like grip around his throat.

"Run it's a trap!" he gasped. As he slipped into unconsciousness, he saw Natasha and Clint fall to the ground.

 

* * *

 

Bucky finished his journal entry and closed the book. His dream had triggered a few other memories of his friendship with Steve and he had been able to connect and expand a few previous entries as well. Before too much longer he would need a new journal. Smiling at that thought, Bucky poured the last of the second pot of coffee into his cup as Lang came downstairs.

"Morning," he yawned. "Where is everyone?"

"On a mission."

Lang stretched, rubbing his neck. "Did you make coffee yet?"

Bucky sipped his coffee. "Yeah, twice."

"You didn't leave any?" Lang whined.

"I've been up since 3AM," Bucky told him. "I drank it."

Lang looked at him like a hungry puppy. Bucky sighed and went to make a fresh pot. He could use some more and Lang made terrible coffee. Lang went to the refrigerator to get the milk.

"How can you drink that much caffeine anyway?"

"Do you want me to make more or not?" Bucky asked.

Lang shrugged, taking a mug out of the cabinet. "Just curious."

"Doesn't have much of an effect on me," Bucky said, pouring the water into the machine

"Really?" Suddenly Lang was wide awake. "You know, I've never asked how you can do all that stuff. The metal arm I get it, but you're pretty strong with the other one too, and fast, and you got over that gunshot wound in like a week, so yeah, what's the deal with that."

Bucky flexed his hand. He reminded himself Lang wasn't trying to pry, he was just a naturally inquisitive. "I'll tell you, but first you have to explain that shrinking thing."

"I'm not totally sure how that works either," Lang confessed. "I'm an electrical engineer, not a physicist."

"I'm not a physicist either," Bucky replied. "You have to know something."

Lang tapped his fingers on the counter in contemplation. "Ok," he said finally. "Here's how I understand it. The original Ant-Man, Hank Pym, discovered this particle that reduces the distance between molecules. It causes an object to shrink but maintain its mass. That's how I can punch a guy out when I'm the size of an ant."

Bucky stared blankly at Lang. He remembered doing well in science, but he didn't remember learning anything like that. Lang took a roll from last night's dinner out of the ziploc bag on the counter.

"So, everything in the universe is mostly empty space, kind of like this." He held out the roll. "It's got all these air pockets that make it bigger than it really is. What the particle does is bring everything closer together." He smashed the roll into a small cube. "Just like that. Same amount of bread condensed into a smaller space. If I threw this at you it would hurt more than the roll because you have the same amount of force being concentrated on a smaller area."

Bucky nodded. "So if this other guy invented it, how did you become Ant-Man?"

"Pym couldn't do it anymore," Lang explained. " Changing size like that has side effects. He retired years ago, but a mad scientist former student of his was trying to recreate his work. He tricked me into stealing the suit and recruited me to steal his technology back before the guy could finish what he was doing."

The coffee finished brewing and Lang went to get a cup. "You want one?"

Bucky finished the last sip and handed him the empty mug. "Black."

He poured the coffee and handed Bucky the mug. "Ok, your turn, revved up metabolism."

Bucky took a deep breath to steady his nerves. "In 1943, my unit was captured by HYDRA and held in a secret weapons factory in Austria. They were using us as forced labor. I got sick and couldn't work, so they sent me to the back room to be a test subject for Arnim Zola. I don't know if he didn't finish or if I got lucky and whatever he was doing worked for once. Never found out because Steve busted in and tore the place down. About a year later, I fell out of a train trying to capture that bastard. I fell into a ravine and tore my arm off on a rock ledge. I should have died, but whatever Zola did to me, it helped keep me alive long enough for them to find me. The next thing I remember, I was being dragged away by some Russian soldiers. Then I remember waking up and they were fitting me for the metal arm. Zola continued what he had been doing. Whatever they gave me, it made me faster, stronger, increased reflexes."

Bucky stopped. Lang was sitting across the table with a horrified look on his face.

"So that's why I can drink a whole pot of coffee without getting jittery," he finished quickly. "Enhanced metabolism. A little different from Steve, but same idea."

Lang ran his fingers through his hair. "You see, this is why I feel out of place here. Everyone's life is some Shakespearean tragedy and mine just sounds like a country song. Went to jail, my wife left me, won't let me see my kid, got fired from Baskin Robin's, hooked up with my bosses daughter, lost my dog. Well it was an ant, but same idea."

"I think you're the only one who's that excited to be here," Bucky told him.

Lang shrugged. "Maybe, but I like doing this."

"Isn't it a bit early for group therapy?" Wanda yawned as she came into the kitchen.

"I just asked why he drank so much coffee," Scott said. "I didn't realize the answer was so dark."

Wanda took a mug out of the cabinet and poured a cup of coffee. "Where is everyone?"

"San Francisco," Bucky said. "They left around 3 this morning."

Lang's eyes dropped to his coffee mug. He had a somber look on his face.

"What?" Bucky asked.

"It's," he took a deep breath. "That's where my daughter lives."

"Sorry," Bucky said quietly.

"Not like I would have been able to drop in on her anyway," Lang said ruefully. He stood up to look at the chart on the refrigerator. "Who's morning is it to cook breakfast?"

Wanda took out the sugar and stirred a spoonful into her cup. "You did it yesterday.

"Ok, so not here, not here, not here, Barnes, it's your turn."

"I'm making pancakes," Bucky declared. "Who wants chocolate chips, and who just wants regular?"

"Chocolate chip," Wanda said. "Oh,and maybe some pecans,"

"Do we have any?" Bucky asked, gathering his ingredients.

"Top shelf," Lang said, pointing to the cabinet by the stove. "If I ask why you insist on putting chocolate in everything am I going to regret it?"

Bucky chuckled and reached under the island to get the mixing bowl. "During the Depression we couldn't afford it very often and during the war it was rationed. Hydra didn't feed me anything that wasn't strictly necessary for my survival. Now I can eat what I want and if I want to eat chocolate for breakfast, I will."

"You sound like a 12 year old whose parents left town for the weekend."

Bucky grinned. "I kind of feel like that some days."

The song on the radio ended and a news report came on. "Breaking news out of San Francisco this morning where overnight a major terror attack was thwarted by the Rogue Avengers group lead by former Captain America, Steve Rogers."

"That new name really isn't catching on," Wanda observed.

"The celebration was short lived however as the team was taken into custody minutes later by the UN Sanctioned Avengers led by Tony Stark." Bucky put down the mixing bowl and turned up the radio.

"Two members of the group, Wanda Maximoff and Scott Lang were not among those captured and remain at large, in the Middle East-" Bucky turned off the radio and pushed the mixing bowl aside. Hours ago, everything had seemed fine, now once again the world had come crashing down around them.

"What are we going to do?" Wanda asked.

"We're going to eat pancakes," Lang insisted, pressing the whisk into Bucky's hand. "Whatever we do, we can't do it hungry."

 

* * *

 

Steve pulled against the restraints with all his strength. The magnetic seal shifted but held. He looked across to the cells where the others were being held. Sam and Clint had been put together and Natasha and Sharon were in the cell next to them. They had removed the restraints from his teammates, but it would be difficult for any of them to break out of the cells even with the full use of their limbs.

"No good deed goes unpunished," Clint groused, leaning back against the wall of the cell.

"We're not done yet," Steve said. "We still have-"

"What?" Sam cut in. "Wanda, Scott, and Barnes? No offense to them, but I'm not holding my breath."

"Sam might be right, Steve," Nat said despondently. "Wanda and Scott can't pull this off, and Bucky's smart enough to keep them from trying."

"They'll come for us," Steve insisted. Bucky would come for him. It was a stupid thing to do, but he refused to believe that Bucky would abandon him. The door opened and Tony and Rhodes came in.

"How is everyone? Comfy?" Tony asked with a hint of a smug grin. "Rogers, I tweaked the restraints a bit. How are they working?"

Steve pulled at the cuffs again. "So far, so good," he muttered.

"Romanoff, did you want to switch sides or are you good there?"

Natasha flashed him a tight smile. "Nice to see you too, Tony."

Tony turned back to Steve. "So you managed to evade us for over a year. Maybe now we can get back to doing our job instead of following you around everywhere."

"You're short a couple," Steve told him. "I still have a team out there."

"Right, and as soon as you tell me where they are, I can go arrest them," Tony said impatiently. "And try not to lie to me this time."

"Truth is Tony, you're not going to get anything from us," Clint snarled. "You want to lock us up, here we are. Toss us in the RAFT and throw away the key, but we're not going to take them with us."

"Or you could sign the Accords and get your lives back," Rhodes suggested.

Steve stood, looking Tony squarely in the eye. "If I didn't sign then, I'm sure as hell not signing now. I don't like how they're managing things and neither do you."

Tony glared back at him. "Don't presume to know what I'm thinking Rogers.

"Someone just tried to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge and instead of stopping it, they had you trying to hunt us down! You're going to stand there and tell me that you would have just sat back and let that happen?"

"It's not our call to make anymore," Tony snapped. "That's what you don't get! It wasn't yours to deal with!

"Well someone has to!" Steve yelled, slamming his hands against the bars.

"Well it's not going to be you. Even if you do sign now, you'll be lucky to avoid life in prison," Tony lowered his voice to a near whisper. "Especially if they find out you're also harboring a known terrorist."

"Bucky is not a terrorist," Steve growled.

"That's not how the UN is going to see it. Talk to me or they're going to send someone who won't ask so nicely," Tony urged. "I don't have the kind of pull I used to and I used most of it to get 5 minutes with you guys, so tell me where Wanda and the bug guy are so I can bring them in before someone gets killed."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Can we skip the part where you pretend you're on our side and just go to the RAFT?"

"Have it your way," Tony growled. "I'll let you know when your friends arrive."

Natasha stood up and leaned against the bars. "You can throw a temper tantrum all you want, but the fact is that we got played. Zemo got exactly what he wanted from us. You can get over it or you can keep letting him win."

Tony stalked out of the cell block without a word and slammed the door. Steve leaned his head against the bars.

"Well that went about like I expected," Natasha said.

"Don't start," Sharon groaned.

Natasha leaned in. "Steve," she said in a low voice. "Maybe we should tell them."

Steve looked at her in disbelief. "So help me, Natasha, if you-"

"I'm just being realistic here," she said. "Tony was right about one thing. The longer we drag this out, the higher the chances are that someone gets taken out rather than taken in."

"They're coming for us," Steve insisted.

"And they're going to get themselves killed trying," Natasha said bitterly.

Steve turned away and sat down against the wall. Natasha was just trying to be practical, but he wasn't ready to give up. For the past year and a half, he had struggled to hold this team together through one crisis after another. After all they had been through, he wouldn't let it end like this.

"Come on Buck," he whispered. "Don't let me down."

 

* * *

 

After breakfast, Lang and Wanda searched for information on the team while Bucky loaded the dishwasher. Wanda searched the major news sites while Lang scanned through eyewitness accounts. Bucky listened carefully as they compared notes. Some of the details varied, but all seemed to agree that they had been taken to a military base in San Francisco. No one had reported anyone trying to move them. Lang closed his computer and took a deep breath.

"Ok, so we know where they are. That's good. We won't have to waste time looking.

Bucky leaned heavily on the counter. "Think for a minute. Why would they let us know where they are?"

Lang buried his head in his hand. "It's a trap."

Bucky nodded. "They're using them as bait."

"So are we just supposed to let them go to the RAFT for the rest of their lives?" Lang asked. "I've been there. It's not fun."

Bucky looked at him. "What are you asking me for? Steve left you in charge."

Lang stared back at him, the blood draining from his face.

"Bucky! This isn't some stupid test," Wanda chastised him. "They're in trouble."

"Yeah, they are," he agreed. "But the worst they're facing is imprisonment. If we get captured you get put in a straight jacket and I go on trial for two dozen counts of terrorism, espionage, and murder."

"We can't leave them there," she said firmly.

Bucky shook his head. "Not your call. We have a chain of command, and that means it's up to Lang."

"You mean, you're going to do whatever I say?" Lang asked uncertainly.

"You're the ranking officer," Bucky said reluctantly. He was uneasy putting this on Lang, but he didn't trust his own judgement. Part of him wanted to run in, guns blazing and rescue Steve while part of him just wanted to run.

"Wow," Lang said breathlessly. "So if I say you're both reinstated, does that mean she's in charge because she has seniority or you are because you have way more experience?"

"Steve said you were in charge until they returned," Bucky reiterated. "If you don't want to be in charge, get Steve back."

Lang stood up, on the verge of hyperventilating, and started pacing around the kitchen. "Ok, um, so we need to get to San Francisco."

"How were you planning to get there?" Wanda asked.

"Fly?"

Bucky shook his head. "Might work for you, but my arm isn't going through security."

"Drive?" Lang asked. Bucky nodded.

Wanda crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "What are you planning to do once you get in there?"

"Break them out?" Scott threw up his hands. "I don't know I've never planned something like this before! Steve had no idea we were going to be in this situation or he wouldn't have left me in charge!"

"Sit down before you walk a hole in the floor," Bucky grumbled. "I didn't say you had to come up with the whole plan yourself."

"Well then help me here!" Lang pleaded.

"You're a burglar," Wanda reminded him. "It's the same, we're just stealing people."

"This is what we've been working on," Bucky said, trying to keep his voice steady. "You're panicking and making this more complicated than it has to be.

"Ok, I can do this," Lang said in a calmer tone. He tapped his fingers on the counter. "How do I do this?"

"Look at your assets," Bucky coaxed him.

Lang rubbed his forehead. "Ok, we have Wanda, me, you and a whole room full of weapons and spy equipment that I don't know how to use."

"What can we do? Special skills," Bucky prompted.

"Well, she can move things with her mind, and control people, I can get really small and talk to ants, and you're just scary."

Bucky let out an aggravated sigh. "I'm a highly trained assassin skilled at infiltration and hand to hand combat with enhanced speed and strength and a bionic arm made of vibranium."

"Ok," Lang said. "I can do something with that. We need the plans to the base, though."

"Yeah," Bucky agreed wearily. "Can you make the internet do that?"

Lang rolled his eyes. "Sure Gramps. And after that I'll show you how to program the VCR so you can record Matlock."

Wanda laughed but Bucky just stared at him. "What?"

Lang sighed. "I can't, but I know a guy who can. It's going to take us about two days to drive there so we should probably get going.

"And then we'll want to take a day to rest," Wanda said. "So make it three."

"Four," Lang corrected her. "We'll need to scope the place out before we actually go in. I'm going to take a shower. We're leaving in an hour so pack what you need."

Wanda carried her coffee mug to the sink to wash it. "Are you sure about this?" she asked, quietly.

Bucky hugged her tightly. He didn't need her powers to know that she was nervous. "No, but they'd do it for us."

 

* * *

 

_Steve ended the call and walked back to the cafe where Sam was waiting._

" _She tell you to stay out of it," Sam guessed. "Might have a point."_

" _He'd do it for me," Steve said._

" _1945 maybe," Sam replied._

Steve kept his eyes closed for a moment as he awoke, hoping that the morning had been a dream. He felt the hard concrete against his back and slowly opened them. The faint hope that he was anywhere else vanished as he stared at the blank wall of his cell. He sat up and stretched as best he could with his wrists still bound. His arms ached from being held in the same position for so long. He looked around the cellblock. The others were still asleep except for Sharon who sat on her bunk with her knees tucked to her chest.

"Morning," he said. "How did you sleep?"

"Terrible." She unfolded her legs and came to the bars, reaching her hand through as far as she could. "I missed you. I got used to having you next to me when I sleep."

Steve tried to reach out to her, but the cuffs stopped him from putting his hands through the bars. "I missed you too."

"What do you think the others are doing right now?" she asked.

"Driving to San Francisco?" Steve suggested with a sheepish shrug.

"You really think they'll come for us?"

"I do," Steve said firmly.

Sharon looked around the cell block. "Aunt Peggy always told me that when you died, she learned that you can't always count on a hero to be there when you need them. And if you can't wait for a hero, then you have to be one yourself."

Steve chuckled softly. "That sounds like her."

"We'll get out of here Steve. I don't know how but we'll find a way."

Steve could hear the determination in her voice. Listening to her, he could almost believe that she would find a way out of her cell, but when he closed his eyes, all he could see was her lying unconscious in the jet. He leaned his head against the bars.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"For what?"

"I keep getting you in trouble. Since the day you met me, I've done nothing but ruin your life."

"Don't say that," she begged. Her tone was serious, with no trace of the usual banter.

"Admit it. Things would be a lot simpler without me." He had been alone when he came out of the ice. Since then it seemed like everything he cared about kept slipping away. For a brief moment, she had stopped that, now she was slipping away too.

"Listen to me." Sharon's hand tightened around the bar. "You are the best thing I've ever had in my life, and yes, you have caused me a lot of trouble, and worry, and aggravation, but you're worth every bit of it. I'm glad you crashed that ship into the Arctic because you were meant to be here with me. I love you, Steve"

Steve stared at her, speechless.

Sharon smiled at him. "You don't have to say it back. But we may not see each other for a while and I just wanted you to know, whatever happens, you were mine."

"I _am_ yours," Steve emphasized. "And when we get out of here, I'll take you to a beach like you wanted. We'll have dinner and sit out by the water and look at the stars. And then I'll say it."

"I can't wait."

Steve looked at her, studying every line and curve of her face. He would find a way to hang on this time. They had been through too much to let fall apart now. Bucky was coming, they just had to hold out until then.

 

* * *

 

" _I think you're coming right along, Sergeant," the nurse said, taking the thermometer out of his mouth._

_Bucky grinned at her. "Yeah but you can't be too careful. You can give me a really thorough examine just to be sure."_

" _Don't listen to a word this joker says!"_

_Bucky looked up to see Steve in the doorway. The nurse just rolled her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow Sergeant Barnes."_

" _Anytime sweetheart," Bucky called after her as she left, leaving him alone with Steve. Bucky stared at him for a moment, still not quite able to believe what had happened to his friend._

" _What?" Steve asked, his shoulder slumping a little in embarrassment. For a moment, he was that gawky little guy from Brooklyn again._

_Bucky grinned, shaking his head. "Nothing, I just still can't get over all this."_

_Steve sat down in the chair beside his bed. "It took me awhile to get used to it too. The first day, I tripped over my own feet getting out of bed."_

" _Now that sounds like you."_

" _So how are you feeling?" Steve asked._

_Bucky coughed. "Still have a touch of pneumonia, but other than that I feel fine. I should be out of here in a few days."_

" _You really scared me back there," Steve said in a small voice._

" _I haven't had a chance to thank you for coming after me," Bucky said. "That has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever done, but thanks for doing it anyway."_

" _You didn't think I'd leave you there, did you?"_

" _A smart person would have." Bucky patted Steve on the shoulder. "Lucky for me you're an idiot."_

_Steve grinned. "It's good to have you back Buck."_

 

* * *

 

Scott jolted awake as the car hit a pothole. He looked around to get his bearings. Wanda was still driving and Barnes was in the front seat. The bump had woken him up as well, but he seemed disoriented.

"Where are we?" Barnes asked.

"Nevada," Wanda replied. "What year is it?"

Barnes stared out the window for a moment. "2017," he answered finally. "We're going to San Francisco. The others were captured on a mission and," he paused, "Oh God, did we put Lang in charge?"

"You," she emphasized. "You put Scott in charge. You might be taking this Mr. Miagi thing a bit far."

Barnes frowned. "Mr. Miagi?"

"When we get home we're watching the Karate Kid," Wanda said.

"Hey, sitting right here!" Scott sat up and rubbed the kink in his neck. Wanda had had the right idea about taking a day to rest up.

"Do we have anything to eat?" Barnes asked.

"No, we'll stop at the next gas station," Wanda said.

Barnes looked around the car. "I thought I had a Hershey Bar left."

"Scott ate it while you were out," Wanda said.

Scott hunched down in his seat. Barnes scowled and reached back to punch him in the thigh.

"Ow!" Scott cried.

"I was saving that!" Barnes snarled.

"I was hungry and it was the only thing left!" Scott argued, rubbing the spot on his thigh. "At least use your real hand! I'm going to have a bruise there."

"That was my real hand." Barnes said.

Scott gaped at him. "Ow!"

Wanda stifled a laugh. "I'm pulling over here. And you're buying him another Hershey bar."

"This is like going on road trips with my ex," Scott muttered.

"Did you eat her chocolate?" Barnes asked in a snippy tone.

"Well yeah, but mostly she just punched me in the thigh," Scott retorted.

"Play nice or I'm going to turn this car around," Wanda joked.

Scott put on his baseball cap as she pulled into a gas station. Everyone got out to stretch their legs and Scott headed for the convenience store.

"Ok, so anything besides a Hershey bar?"

"A coke," Barnes called. "And a bag of Doritos."

"Get me a ginger ale," Wanda said as she unscrewed the gas cap.

Scott pulled his hat down lower as he entered the store. The only other person there was a clerk who looked half asleep. The news station on the TV was talking about the team's arrest, but the clerk didn't seem to notice. Still, Scott kept his head down and did his best to avoid looking at the camera. They were far enough from home to avoid compromising the house, but it would be best to stay out of sight. The longer they could maintain the element of surprise, the better their chances at pulling this off.

He picked up the snacks and drinks and grabbed a coffee for everyone. He paid the cashier and went back out to the car. Wanda and Barnes were talking while Wanda pumped gas.

"I'm just having second thoughts about all this," Barnes admitted quietly. "Every instinct is telling me to run but I keep having dreams about the war. Steve wouldn't have left me."

Wanda finished and put the nozzle back. "I don't want to leave them either but we have to be careful. Getting thrown in prison with them won't help."

Scott backed up and approached again, louder this time to get their attention. "Alright, I have chocolate, I have chips, I have soda, and since it's almost breakfast I got everyone a doughnut and a cup of coffee."

"Who's driving?" Barnes asked.

"I can," Scott offered. "I know the roads pretty well from here on out."

Scott got into the driver's seat and settled the drinks into the cup holders. Barnes got in the front and Wanda climbed in the back to lie down. Scott thought about what he had heard a minute ago. Barnes and Wanda needed him to pull it together. If they were going to pull this off they had to stay together and they needed a leader. He still felt a little strange giving orders to someone who used to fight with Captain America, but Barnes had seemed pretty confident that he was the best choice to lead.

Suddenly Scott realized why. Barnes had put him in charge because he didn't trust himself to see it through. Although Barnes had left the decision up to him, he had been pushing Scott towards leading a rescue mission. Barnes wanted to rescue the others, but would run at the first hint of trouble. He had put Scott in charge to keep that from happening.

"You know, no one grows up thinking that they want to be a cat burglar," Scott said. "You sort of fall into it. One day you see something that you want badly enough to go in and take it, and either you're arrogant enough or good enough or desperate enough to not worry about getting caught. You just see that thing that you want and you figure out how to get it. Or you find people who can."

Barnes listened but kept his gaze fixed on some distant point on the horizon.

"Once we get to San Francisco I have some friends I can call to help us out. This is going to work. This place isn't exactly Fort Knox. It's almost like they want us to break in."

"They do," Barnes said soberly. "They just don't want us getting back out."

"Knowing it's a trap puts us one step ahead," Scott said, trying to sound confident. "And maybe we can set a few traps of our own."

He saw a ghost of a smile on Barnes' face as they continued down the highway.

 

* * *

 

The guard buzzed Tony and Rhodey into the cell block. The commander had agreed to let them try talking to Rogers again. Everyone had been exhausted yesterday and there had been harsh words on both sides. Tony had suggested to the commander that after some rest, they might be in a more cooperative mood. He hoped that for all of their sakes that Rogers had come to his senses. They opened the door to find Rogers kissing Carter through the bars of her cell as four guards tried to pry him away. They finally managed to pull him off and pushed him down the hall.

"Steve!" Carter cried, beating against the bars. "Where are you taking him!"

"It's alright Sharon," he said. "I'll be back."

"No talking," the guard ordered.

"I love you!" she called. The guard slammed his baton against the bars.

"What's going on here?" Rhodey demanded. The guards didn't answer.

"Uh, excuse me," Tony said. "Your boss said I could have 5 minutes with the prisoners. I believe that's one of them."

"You know how this works Tony," Rogers said coldly. "I wouldn't talk to you, so they're going to let someone else ask."

"Quiet!" The guard barked, shoving Rogers forward.

"Careful with that, it's an antique." Tony quipped.

"Hilarious," Rogers said with more venom that Tony expected.

"I said quiet," the guard said, shoving him again.

"Hey, Corporal Punishment!" Tony yelled. "I said careful, you break it you bought it!"

"How did you think this was going to play out Tony?" One of the guards took out a stun baton and zapped Rogers in the side.

Rhodey reacted before Tony could. "Private! Stand down."

"Sir we have orders to treat the prisoner as a potential flight risk."

"Alright listen to me GI Jackass," Tony snarled, "I don't care what he says to you, you don't need a damn cattle prod!" He looked at Rogers desperately. "Just tell me where they are before this gets any worse!"

Rogers twisted around to face him. The guards threw him against the wall but his glare burned into Tony. "And then what?" he demanded. "Open your eyes Tony, this was never going to get better!"

"I said quiet!" One of the guards hit Rogers in the face. He recoiled enough to let them wrestle him down the hall.

"Tony?" Rhodey said, he had a hand on Tony's shoulder.

"Let's get this over with." They entered the cell block.

"Look who's here," Wilson said.

"Hey don't blame me for that. I'm as surprised as you are."

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah," Clint mocked him. "Do you ever shut up or is that physically impossible?"

"Just tell us where they are before this gets worse," Rhodey said.

Carter stood at the bars looking at him. "Worse? How could this get worse?"

"You don't want to know," Tony replied.

Clint laughed. "Yeah, we were really worried there for a minute."

"You should be!" Tony snapped.

"The UN was two days away from sending a black ops squadron after you," Rhodey said "And they weren't going to be firing repulsor blasts."

"Man shut the hell up," Wilson snapped. "You think you're doing us a favor?"

"We are doing you a favor, Sam," Rhodey insisted. "We're trying to keep this between us."

"Well Scott and Wanda aren't going to see it that way," Sam said bitterly.

"And what about your other friend," Rhodey asked. "You know they're going to shoot first and ask questions later."

"Yeah, so will he," Clint said. "And he's a damn good shot."

"We've kept quiet about Barnes on our part," Tony said. "But they're going to figure it out eventually if they haven't already. Help us bring him in quietly before someone gets hurt."

"Barnes is too dangerous to be in custody," Natasha whispered urgently. "You remember what happened last time? If someone gets those codes-!"

"We won't let that happen," Tony promised.

Natasha gaped at him. "Your arrogance never ceases to amaze me."

"He needs to be brought in," Tony said. "We'll take care of the rest."

Natasha lean in as much as she could with the bars holding her. "If you lay one finger on him," she whispered menacingly, "I swear you will never see me coming."

"Stark! Rhodes!" the guard called. "Time's up!"

"Call me when you change your mind," Tony called. He and Rhodey walked down to the small room that the base commander had given them as an office. Tony jammed the audio recording and poured a drink.

"They're not going to tell us," Rhodey said.

"They will," Tony insisted. "Just give them some time."

"No they won't, and you need to get that through your head. And if we keep trying, they're going to kick us out before Wanda and Lang get here."

Tony took a sharp breath. "And the other guy?"

Rhodey glanced toward the camera and leaned in close. "Tony, I've asked you this before and you've gotten pretty good at dodging the question but what exactly are you planning to do with Barnes."

"Depends on what he does," Tony answered. He wasn't exactly sure himself. He had run through the scenario a hundred times in his head, but it never ended the same way.

"Tony, the man killed your parents," Rhodey said. "I don't think you're over that. You never got over losing them in the first place."

"Am I supposed to?" Tony asked resentfully.

Rhodey looked at him with pity, but Tony heard a note of concern in his voice. "I've known you a long time and I've seen you do some stupid stuff when you're upset. Remember when you were dying of palladium poisoning?"

"Yeah you stole my suit."

"You made me steal your suit," Rhodey argued. "And after New York? You don't think straight when you're upset and I'm worried you'll do something you're going to regret."

"I'm fine," Tony insisted. "Or I will be once we get this settled and we can get back to work."

Rhodey crossed his arms with a stern look. "Tony, I'm going to say this once. You're not a vigilante, you're an Avenger and we have rules. That's the whole reason we signed the Accords. If you kill Barnes, you'll end up in one of those cells."

"I get it!" Tony snapped.

Rhodey held up his hands in surrender. "Fine, if you say so, I'll be at the hotel if you need me."

Rhodey left, leaving Tony alone in the room. Tony tapped his watch to knock out the video feed.

"FRIDAY, bring up the Winter Soldier file. Run through the footage and analyze his fight pattern."

"Yes Boss."

 

* * *

 

It was midafternoon when they reached the outskirts of the city. Scott pulled into a diner and parked the car.

"What are we doing here?" Wanda asked.

"Eating," Scott said. "And I need to make a couple of calls."

Bucky slipped on his glasses and surveyed the area. "We need to find somewhere to stay."

"I've got that covered," Scott assured them. "I'll meet you inside."

"What are you planning?" Wanda asked.

"Like you said, this is a heist," he said with a mysterious grin. "We need some backup"

She watched him curiously as she and Bucky headed inside. On every mission, Scott always seemed a bit out of his element, but as they approached San Francisco, that seemed to fade. She and Bucky found a table in the corner and the waitress came by to take their order.

"What'll you have?"

Bucky took a quick look at the menu. "Black coffee and the Lumberjack special."

"Tea and the tuna melt with fruit," Wanda told her. "And we have one more coming."

Bucky waited for her to leave and turned to Wanda. "How are you feeling?"

"A little stiff, that backseat isn't very comfortable."

"I meant about the mission," Bucky said softly. "You know he's going to be there."

The waitress brought the drinks. Wanda sipped her tea as the woman walked off. She hadn't seen Vision since Prague. Their meeting had ended abruptly without really giving them a chance to resolve anything between them.

"He's not going to be so nice about it this time," Bucky warned.

"You're wrong about him," Wanda said stubbornly.

"Wanda, I know how you feel about him, but you can't hold back this time."

Wanda started to protest, but the waitress returned with their food. She realized Bucky was right. She and Vision had both been holding back.

"I don't want to fight him," Wanda said, when the waitress had left.

Bucky reached out and took her hand. "You're the only one who can. He's going to be the hardest one to get past."

Wanda nodded and took a bite of her sandwich.

"So, what is it?" Bucky asked, pouring syrup on his pancakes. "Between you and him."

"Well nothing now," Wanda lamented. "Not as long as the Accords exist."

"You snuck out to see him in Prague, that's not nothing," Bucky teased her with a faint smile.

"I just miss him," Wanda said. "Having him around was one of the things that got me through losing Pietro. He's so innocent about everything, it helped me remember what it was like to enjoy life. The first time he saw snow, it was adorable. He was like a little kid. "

Bucky listened with a wistful smile as he drank his coffee.

"He sees something in me that I'm not even sure is there sometimes," Wanda told him. "After our parents died, Pietro and I were consumed with anger to the point that we volunteered for a HYDRA experiment and teamed up with a killer robot. Even after joining the Avengers, I didn't see myself as a hero for a long time, but he did. Just the way he looked at me, I could tell that he was actually seeing me and not a weapon."

Bucky set down his coffee. She could feel that that had struck a chord with him. "I get that," he said. "I think he cares a lot about you a lot, but that also makes him dangerous."

Before Wanda could respond, Scott came in and sat down beside her. "Alright, I called my friends so we have a place to stay. We'll explain everything when we get there, but I think they'll be on board." He looked around. "Where's the waitress? I'm starving."

"Who are these guys?" Bucky asked, cutting a bite of his pancakes.

"They helped me pull off the Cross job," Scott said. "They're a little weird, but they know their stuff."

"If you say so," Bucky muttered. "Let's hurry up and eat so we can get over there."

"Actually, we need towait here bit," Scott said. "We're meeting someone."

Wanda looked at Bucky. He gave her a slight shrug. They were in Scott's domain now. They had put him in charge and now they had to trust his judgement.

"Fine," Bucky said. "But if we're staying here, I'm getting pie."

 

* * *

 

Steve sat in the metal chair staring at the ceiling. If the plan was to bore him into talking, it was working. Finally the door opened and an unassuming man in a suit entered.

"Captain Rogers," he greeted Steve. "First let me say it's an honor to meet you. I'm Jeffrey Mace, I'm the Director of SHIELD."

"Director," Steve greeted him politely. Mace seemed pleasant enough, but something about him made Steve uneasy. "I thought the UN was in charge of the Sokovia accords."

Mace smiled. "SHIELD is under the jurisdiction of the Sokovia Accords and as such we typically handle certain problems that are beyond the scope of other organizations."

"Like interrogating rogue super soldiers," Steve said.

"If need be," Mace said, with a hint of reluctance. "We can make this easy Captain. Help me locate the rest of your team and I won't need to do anything unpleasant. I promise I'm not looking forward to that."

Steve stood and took a step towards Mace. "Well, you're going to have to, 'cause-"

Mace hit him in the mouth. The punch was surprisingly powerful and Steve was forced to take a step back to stay upright. He touched a hand to his lip and saw a spot of blood. He should have figured they would get an enhanced human to interrogate him.

"That's a mean right there," he said. "Accident? Experiment?"

"Inhuman," Mace replied calmly, assuming a neutral stance.

"Well I once fought a guy with a metal arm," Steve taunted. "Go get a pair of brass knuckles and try again."

Mace smiled coldly. "That's the guy I want to hear about. Where is the Winter Soldier?"

"His name is Bucky Barnes," Steve growled.

"And where is Mr. Barnes?" Mace asked.

"Sergeant," Steve corrected.

"Where is he?" Mace asked again.

"There's a short list of people that I would ever hand him over too and SHIELD isn't on it," Steve said through clenched teeth. "You assholes had him for 70 years and you turned him into that thing, so if you think for one goddamn minute that I'm going to-"

Mace's punch sent him to his knees. Steve struggled to his feet, his head spinning. Mace stood over him, the pleasant smile had faded into a look of cold austerity. "I'll ask again Captain. Where is the Winter Soldier?"

 

* * *

 

The sun was setting when Hank Pym arrived. He sat in the empty seat in the booth beside Barnes and looked at Scott with a gruff scowl.

"Scott, you have five minutes to explain before I walk out of here with my suit."

Scott glanced around to be sure they were alone. "Did you bring what I asked for?"

"Yes, it's in the car," Hank told him. "If I'm not satisfied, you're leaving empty handed. A whole year and you can't even call?

"Well I figured they would tap your phone," Scott explained.

"You think I can't get around that? What have you been doing?" Hank demanded.

"Saving the world, Hank," Scott said. "This is Bucky and Wanda. Guys this is Hank Pym, the original Ant-Man."

Hank eyed them suspiciously. "Otherwise known as a the Scarlet Witch and the Winter Soldier. Interesting company you keep these days."

"They're actually really nice once you get over the fact that they can kill you," Scott quipped. He had expected Hank to be angry, but he couldn't afford to walk away empty handed. The fact that he had even shown up was encouraging, but he could easily change his mind.

Hank scowled at him. "Scott, when I asked you to be Ant-Man, it was to protect my work, not to hand it over to the Avengers."

"I didn't hand over anything," Scott insisted. "Captain America needed my help, and frankly it was the right thing to do Hank. You can't tell me you agree with the Sokovia accords."

"I don't. I don't want Ant-Man to fall into anyone's hands, not even Steve Rogers."

"It's in mine Hank," Scott assured him. "And I'm using it to help people, because that's what we do."

The waitress came to refill their coffee. "You folks need anything?"

"No, thank you, I'm fine," Hank said.

"I'll have a piece of the chocolate chess pie," Barnes said.

"They came looking for you," Hank said when the waitress had left. "They tried to confiscate the Ant-Man technology. Hope had to join them or they would have taken it. You put us in a hell of a position Scott."

Scott didn't reply. He knew he had caused them trouble but he hadn't realized how much.

"What's your plan here?" Hank asked.

"We're going to break them out," Scott told him.

"That's not a plan," Hank said shortly. "Scott, if you get captured, then Ant-Man will fall into government hands. I can't let that happen."

"Then help me," Scott pleaded. "We can do this, but I need to be ready."

Hank sighed. "You owe me Scott."

"I know and when this is over-"

"It'll never be over. You're never coming home. You're never going to see Cassie or Hope again. This is goodbye." Hank slid a flash drive over to him. "That's everything you need to know, including step by step instructions to produce the particle that even you should be able to figure out. It's password protected and three unauthorized attempts will erase the information. I can't help you again. Just make sure my research does not fall into the wrong hands."

He stood to leave. Scott followed him to the car. Hank took a box out of his trunk and handed it to Scott. "That should last you for a while."

Scott opened the case to inspect the contents as Hank walked over to the car door.

"You're wrong," Scott said. He snapped the case closed.

Hank stopped and turned to him. "Excuse me?"

"You're wrong," Scott said again. "This won't last forever. We're on the right side of this and they're going to see it. This isn't goodbye."

Hank smiled faintly. "I hope you're right. I'll give Hope your love." He close the door and drove away. Scott went back into the diner where Barnes was finishing his pie.

"Get what you need?" Barnes asked.

"Yeah," he called the waitress over to get the check. "We just need to make one more stop."

 

* * *

 

It was dark when Scott turned into a quiet neighborhood outside the city. Wanda looked around at the well maintained lawns and large houses. From what she knew of Scott's friends, she wouldn't have expected them to live in a place like this. "Is this where we're staying?"

"No," Scott said, pulling up in front of one of the houses. Wanda felt a strong wave of longing from him. Suddenly she recognized the neighborhood. She looked across the street where a family sat at the table eating dinner.

Bucky scowled. "Well can we get-" Wanda put a hand on his shoulder and pointed to the little girl sitting at the table. Bucky's expression softened. "Is that your daughter?"

"Yeah," Scott said, softly. "I just wanted to see her real quick."

Wanda reached out to read them. "She's happy. She's going to be Natasha for Halloween."

There was more, but she knew Scott didn't need the details. She could feel his resolve waning already. She felt a deep pang of sympathy for him, but they needed him right now. Scott smiled sadly and put the car in gear.

"Ok, I'm good. Let's get going."

 

* * *

 

Bucky, Wanda and Lang climbed the stairs of the rundown building. Loud music blared from one of the apartments and Bucky caught a whiff of stale beer and urine from the hallway. Lang led them to one of the apartments and knocked on the door. There was no answer. He knocked again.

"Luis?" he called. "Come on, man. You said you'd be home! If you're in there open up!"

Bucky heard whispers inside and saw the peephole darken. A moment later the door was opened by a heavy set hispanic man who Bucky assumed was Luis.

"Scottie! Man I've missed you!" Luis greeted Lang with an exuberant hug. "Where have you been? I heard you joined the Avengers but then the Avengers got busted up and it wasn't really the Avengers and they got, like arrested, and they said you were still on the run. Everyone said you were dead, but I was like, I know my boy, and I was right!"

"Are we just going to stand out in the hall?" Bucky asked gruffly.

"Oh yeah come in!" Luis waved them in excitedly. "Mi casa est su casa."

"Wanda, Barnes, this is Luis, we were cellmates at San Quentin. Luis this is Bucky Barnes and Wanda Maximoff."

"Yeah, I know these guys! You got the, uh," Luis waved his hands around his head, "Mind powers and stuff, and you," he pointed at Bucky, "you are one scary dude. My cousin Maria was visiting her boyfriend in DC a few years back, well he's her husband now, except they might be getting a divorce, which is sad because they just had a kid, so I guess he'll just be her babydaddy, but he was out with his boy and the were on that freeway, driving the opposite direction and saw you flip off a car! He said it was freaky, but I guess now you're like a good guy now since you're working with my boy Scott and all."

Bucky gaped at Luis, flabbergasted. "Does he ever shut up?"

"Not really," Lang sighed. "That's Dave," he pointed to the well groomed black man at the table.

"Yo," Dave greeted them, with a succinct nod.

"He's our getaway driver. The shifty looking Russian guy over there is Kurt."

" _What do you do?"_ Bucky asked in Russian.

" _Finally, someone around here who makes sense. I do computers. I can hack into anything you need. Banks, public utilities, Homeland Security, you name it. I can hack SHIELD if you give me a couple of days, but then we'll have to leave."_

" _Good. We're going to need that."_ He turned to Lang. "They'll do."

"So, how do you guys feel about hacking into a military server and breaking into a naval base?' Lang asked.

"You know us Scottie, we're down!" Luis shouted, far more enthusiastically that Bucky would have expected.

Dave snapped his fingers and pointed at Luis. "Like the man said."

"I could use challenge," Kurt agreed.

"Good," Lang said. "Because we need to rescue the Avengers."

Everyone stared at him.

"Avengers not under arrest," Kurt reminded him.

Lang nodded. "Right, right. I meant the other team. My Avengers. We're fighting the Avengers."

"So you need us to rescue Captain America," Luis clarified.

Dave frowned. "I thought he changed his name to Nomad or something."

Bucky sighed. "We need you to help us break into a military base and get our friends. In or out?"

"We're in man!" Luis exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. "This is gonna be fun!"

 

* * *

 

Steve tasted bile as Mace drove a fist into his gut. It had been almost a day since he had eaten or he might have thrown up. He clutched his stomach, panting for breath as the pain subsided. Mace had not restrained him beyond leaving the cuffs on, but Steve had quickly realized that he didn't need to. Even with the use of his hands, Mace would have been a tough opponent

"Is that all you've got?" he taunted. "I used to fight 10 year olds in Brooklyn who packed more of a wallop. And that was before the serum, so I don't know what you-" Mace punched him in the nose. Steve felt it break. Blood stream down into his mouth as he fell to one knee, holding his nose.

"Tell me where the Winter Soldier is and we can stop this," Mace said in a soothing tone.

"His name is Bucky," Steve growled. "If you want to know where he is, I'd start looking over your shoulder. He kind of has a habit of finishing my fights." The other were wrong. Bucky would never abandon him. He spit out a mouthful of blood and staggered to his feet, glaring at Mace. "So keep it up 'cause I could do this all day."

"So could I," Mace replied. "But I have other things that need my attention, so I would really appreciate your cooperation."

Steve spit in his face, spraying drops of blood on Mace's immaculate white shirt. Mace took out a handkerchief and wiped his face. He straightened his tie and pressed a button on his watch. "Agent Simmons, please come to the interrogation room."

Mace took a hold of Steve's shoulder and pushed him down into the metal chair. A moment later Jemma Simmons entered the room with a medical case.

"Director Mace, I would like it on the record that I am doing this under protest," she demanded as she set the case on the table.

"Noted, but you're still doing it," Mace said with an air of finality

"Yes sir," Simmons said bitterly. She opened the case and took out a small bottle and a syringe. "Please restrain the prisoner."

Mace held him firmly as Simmons filled the syringe and cleaned a spot on his hand. Their eyes met briefly. She mouthed a quick apology. Steve gave her a slight nod. When they met, she had warned him that she wouldn't be able to help him if this happened. She was as trapped in this room as he was and fighting would only prompt Mace to restrain him more securely.

"This is a truth serum drug that we developed for interrogation," she explained. "There won't be any lasting side effects although you may feel some nausea and dizziness for a while. If you could please relax your hand."

Steve unclenched his fist and felt a sting as she pressed the needle into his vein. Almost immediately he felt the drug start to take effect. His focus started to slip and his muscles loosened as it coursed through his system.

"Will there be anything else, sir?" Simmons asked tersely.

"No, you're dismissed Agent."

Simmons slammed the case shut and stalked out of the room. Steve forced himself to concentrate on Mace. With his metabolism, the effect should wear off soon. He just had to hold out until then. Bucky was coming.

Mace stood there, hands folded in front. "Alright, now where were we?"

 

* * *

 

Bucky shoveled a forkful of chow mein into his mouth as Lang rolled out a large piece of paper on the kitchen table. Kurt had managed to get the layout of the base and Bucky and Wanda had spent the afternoon helping Lang formulate the plan. Aside from Bucky offering a few insights regarding military procedure, Lang had been responsible for most of it.

"Alright, the team is being held here at Lemoore Naval Air Station," Lang said, sketching out a rough diagram of the base. "According to the schematics, there's a vent here. I'll fly in, take a look around and report back. Kurt, you have the layout of the base, so I'll need you to guide me through. If you can hack into the cameras, that would help. Barnes, Wanda you're here outside the fence. Dave, I'm going to need you to drive the van. If we get separated, take whoever shows up and get out of there. We'll leave the car here for any stragglers. Luis, you're the look out. Keep your eyes open for the Avengers. All of them can fly and except for Hope they should be pretty easy to spot. Stay out of sight and wait for my signal. Remember the first outing is strictly recon."

"What happens if you're found?" Bucky asked.

"We go ahead with the plan," Lang instructed. "If I can at least get through the front door before they find me, I should be able to locate the team. You and Wanda rush the front entrance. If you can't get in, just create a distraction until I can get everyone out."

Wanda glanced at Bucky. "What if they get you?" she asked.

"If that happens, you're on your own," Lang said grimly. "Luis, Dave and Kurt, it might be a good idea to put together a bug out bag before we leave."

Luis laughed nervously. "You're scaring me a little bit here, Scottie."

"Look, the stakes are a little higher on this one, but this is just like any other heist we've ever done," Lang told him. "Just stick to the plan and keep your eyes open."

Bucky couldn't help but smile at the difference in Lang from the other day. He was still nervous, but he was starting to feel like he had made the right call putting the operation in Lang's hands.

"Any questions?" Lang asked. Everyone shook their heads. "Alright, finish eating and gear up, we're leaving in an hour."

Bucky finished the last of his chow mein and grabbed his bag. He went to the bedroom and changed into his gear, sorting through the weapons he had brought. He selected two small guns, smoke grenades and flash grenades. He grabbed a handful of the EMP bullets and put them in his pocket. As he finished checking his weapons, Wanda came in.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Just about," Bucky said, adjusting the strap on his holster.

Wanda sat down on the bed. "Are you ok to do this?"

Bucky looked at the gun in his hand. "You know a month ago, I just wanted people to stop asking me that. Now I'm not sure how to answer."

Wanda took his hand. "I know, but I need you to be sure, because there is no second chance here. If this fails, we need to run."

Bucky squeezed her hand.

"Whatever we call ourselves, we are the Avengers and the world needs us," she said. "You and I haven't been at our best lately, but this has to work. We've trained for this, and it's time to show them what we can do. If you can't, I won't think any less of you, but if you come with us, I need you to see it through. If you walk out that door, you are an Avenger, and there's no turning away from that."

Bucky considered her words carefully. He had joined the team prematurely, desperate to prove something to himself and to Steve. All he had proved was that he had been right to go back on ice after Siberia.

"I'm not Steve," he said, "I got no problem backing down from a fight, but I can't leave that little punk behind when he's in trouble." He holstered his gun. "Let's go."

 

* * *

 

Hope unlocked the door to Hank's house and went inside. The ground floor was dark but she found dinner waiting for her in the refrigerator. She went to the basement and found him at the workbench.

"Hi Dad, sorry I'm late." 

Hank stood up to kiss her on the cheek. "I was starting to think you weren't coming."

"Well being an Avenger isn't exactly a 9 to 5 job.

He smiled. "No, I guess not. Did you bring the suit?"

Hope took the jewelry box out of her pocket and handed it to him. Hank dropped an enlarging disk on it.

"The energy blasts keep shorting out," Hope explained, pointing to the wrist cuffs. "I've fixed it a few times, but it keeps happening and there's no way I'm going to let Stark near it."

Hank chuckled, adjusting the magnifying glass over the suit. "Let's take a look."

Hope watched as he unscrewed the covering. "I really wish Scott were here. This is his thing"

"I invented it!" Hank protested.

She smirked. "Yes but he perfected it."

"Obviously not," Hank muttered.

"I'm going to grab some supplies while I'm here," Hope said. "I'm running low on the shrinking disks.

"No!" Hank shouted, jumping up to stop her. "I'm out. I need to make more," he finished in a more even tone.

Hope frowned. "Out? How could you be-" Suddenly it dawned on her. She took out her phone and ran upstairs.

"Hope!" Hank cried, running after her. He caught up to her in the foyer.

"You saw Scott!" she accused him as she unlocked the phone.

Hank grabbed it out of her hand. "Don't do this."

Hope snatched it back. "I know you don't like me being an Avenger, but I am, and I have a job to do. I'll make sure all his gear stays with me."

"Forget Ant-Man!" Hank yelled. "You know what's going to happen to Scott if they catch him!"

Hope's hand tightened around the phone. "I also know what will happen if they don't." She opened the phone and pulled up Stark's encrypted line.

"He knows you're with them." Hank told her as the call connected.

"Miss me already?" Stark quipped.

Hope looked at Hank. He shook his head, silently pleading with her to hang up.

"Stark, they're here in San Francisco."

**-End-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Sorry about that update time! Holidays and life got in the way. This is a two part chapter so I'll try to have the next one up soon.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I don't want to beg for reviews, (but I'm going to) but I would really like to hear what you think about this part of the story. I've been working towards this almost since I started writing Daybreak and while this isn't the end, a lot of things are coming together and I'd like to hear your reaction, even if it's something short and simple.


	20. Furnace: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the team captured and time running out, Scott, Wanda, and Bucky must launch a daring rescue mission.

Icy water jerked Steve back to consciousness. He gasped as it ran down his neck and chest. He had nodded off again, exhausted from the lack of sleep and the strain of the interrogation. He staggered to his feet, his legs shaking. He'd been beaten, electrocuted, and injected with drugs to weaken his resolve, but he had kept silent. He hoped that Bucky, Scott and Wanda were on their way. He could stand up to this for days, but he was worried what might happen if he held out too long. They would give up eventually and start on the others. None of them would give in easily, but sooner or later one of them would crack. He just worried that someone might get hurt before that happened.

"I hope you slept well," Mace said pleasantly.

"Terrible. Don't expect a good review on Yelp," Steve slurred, struggling to stand upright. He was fairly certain he had a concussion. Taunting Mace was dangerous, but he had never been great at keeping his mouth shut.

"I'm sure you're exhausted," Mace said. "Tell me where your friends are and we can put all this behind us. You know that you and your friends are going to the RAFT, but if you help me out here, I can make your stay there more comfortable."

Steve looked at Mace and burst out laughing. "I finally realized who you remind me of! Major Nelson from I Dream of Jeannie."

Mace swung at him. Steve put up his hands to guard his face but Mace went low and struck him in the side. Steve gasped as he felt a rib snap. Staggering back, he tripped over the chair and fell to the floor, howling in pain as the impact jarred the broken rib. Mace watched dispassionately as Steve lay there, each breath sending a stabbing pain through his side.

"Tell me where your friends are."

* * *

Wanda stared out the window at the street lights as Scott drove toward the base, Vision's voice echoing in her head.

_~It is as I said, catastrophe~_

Vision would be there. Bucky was right, she would have to fight him this time. She didn't want to hurt him, but the team needed her. Bucky seemed to sense her thoughts and reached over to take her hand. She laid her head on his shoulder. They had to win.

Scott pulled into the parking lot they had chosen as the extraction point and parked the car a few yards from the van. They got out and ran through their final preparations. Bucky secured his weapons while Wanda adjusted a strap on her boot. Scott put on his helmet and checked the settings on his regulator.

"Comm test. Everyone come in," he said.

"Winter Soldier," Bucky replied.

"Scarlet Witch," Wanda said.

"We're here Scottie," Luis responded. "Ready to go."

"This is Dave, I'm good."

"I have your signal," Kurt said. "Attempting to access cameras. Is not easy."

"Keep trying," Scott told him. "Remember guys, this is just a recon mission. Don't do anything stupid."

Bucky nodded. "Stay calm and keep your eyes open. We don't know what's going on in there"

"One hour," Scott said. "If you don't hear from me by then, go back to the apartment and wait."

"Good luck," Wanda said. Scott opened a small box with a carpenter ant he had found earlier and shrank down. He flew off toward the base as Wanda and Bucky ran to take up their positions. They settled down on an embankment just outside the fence and watched.

"Do you think he can do it?" Bucky asked.

Wanda didn't answer, but she reached over to take his hand.

* * *

Hope sat around the table with the other Avengers. She had warned them that Scott was here, but without revealing Hank's involvement, she was having a difficult time convincing them. Rhodey and Vision were ready to believe her, but Stark remained skeptical.

"Alright, so back to the part about _how_ you know this," Stark said.

"I just do," Hope sighed. "You're going to have to trust me."

"I don't actually," Stark said. "Because you're clearly hiding something."

"And you aren't?" Hope replied.

"Ok, time out." Rhodey interrupted. "Tony, if Hope says they're here then we need to get ready."

"I think it would be best if Ms. Van Dyne and I searched for them," Vision suggested. "Perhaps we can avoid drawing too much attention."

"He's right," Hope said. "Scott is going to sneak in and he'll probably have the others waiting on the perimeter. If they know we're on to them they'll run."

"Alright, you guys scout things out," Stark agreed grudgingly. "But call us if you find something.

Hope nodded. She and Vision headed out down the hall.

"Vision, you know you can't let her beat you this time," Hope said quietly. "If we don't get to them first and bring them in peacefully, they're going to get killed this time."

"I won't let that happen," he promised.

Hope shrank down and flew into the vent. She headed for the cell block. If Scott was here, his first step would be to locate the prisoners. Maybe if she got lucky she could trap him in a cell.

* * *

Scott ran through the vents. According to the schematic Kurt had stolen, the cell block was just ahead. He entered the cell block and jumped down to take a look. The team was there, but Steve was missing. He ran inside one of the cells and onto Natasha's shoulder.

"Natasha, it's me Scott."

Natasha didn't react.

"I said it's me Scott-"

"I heard you," she whispered.

"Oh," he said, belatedly realizing that she was trying not to give him away. The cell block was almost certainly under surveillance. "We're here to rescue you, but I need to know where they took Steve."

"Where do you guys think they took Steve?" she asked the others.

"Well he's not eating lunch in Chinatown, that's for sure," Clint said,

"Probably some claustrophobic basement closet," Sam quipped.

Sharon was giving Natasha a strange look. Her eyes focused on him suddenly. She casually pretended to pick a hair off of Natasha's shirt. "I'd like to know where our gear is."

"Probably in a broom closet somewhere," Sam said wryly.

"Some of that is explosive. I'm sure they locked it in the armory," Natasha suggested. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "That's all we know."

"Ok, we'll be back tomorrow," Scott promised. "We're going to get you guys out of here."

Scott climbed back into the vent and headed back the way he had come. "Kurt, I need you to locate the armory or anywhere that they could have stored everyone's gear."

"Weapons closet is not far. Turn left at next junction and head down ten meters."

"I'm on it." Scott ran toward the armory, reviewing the layout in his head. Getting inside and opening the cell block door wouldn't be too difficult, and stealing the gear from the armory would be child's play. If he could just find Steve, the plan would be set.

"Oh, Kurt, any luck with the-" A bright flash blinded him and knocked him into the wall of the duct.

* * *

The energy blast hit Scott's helmet, knocking him back into the wall of the duct. Hope flew at him, not giving him a chance to recover. He grabbed her hands and ripped off the Stinger from the left wrist. She kneed him in the stomach and grabbed his wrist, twisting it behind his back to pin him against the wall. He snapped his head back into hers, dazing her enough to loosen her grip. He twisted away and ran, but she fired with her other Stinger and hit him in the calf. He tripped. Hope rushed in and grabbed his hands, tripping the regulator. As Scott expanded, she hit her regulator and expanded with him, pinning them both in the vent. She grabbed Scott's hands to prevent him from shrinking again.

"Stark, I have Ant-Man pinned down," she reported.

"So bring him in," Stark said.

"I need you to come get me," Hope grumbled. "I'll explain later."

"Hope, I need you to let me go!" Scott pleaded, struggling to reach the button. Hope held tightly.

"Scott! Do you have any idea what you've put me through!"

"So you went and joined the Avengers?"

"You didn't leave me a choice!" She kicked his shin as best she could in the confined space.

Scott stopped struggling. "I'm sorry. Did you get the necklace I sent you last Christmas."

"Oh that hardly makes up for this," Hope snarled. "You could have asked me to go with you!"

"Come with me now!" Scott said.

"Are you insane? If I leave they'll confiscate Hank's research! Surrender and maybe I can work something out for you."

Scott struggled to free his hands. "I can't abandon my friends."

"But you can abandon me?" she asked bitterly.

"I'm sorry." Scott headbutted her and wrenched his hands free, shrinking down in the blink of an eye. She reached for the regulator, but nothing happened.

"Scott!" she screamed. Underneath her, the vent plating fell away. She landed on the floor with Stark standing over her in the Iron Man suit. Rhodey stood to the side holding a set of handcuffs.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Rhodey asked.

"He got away," she grumbled, pulling off her helmet. "We need to lock down the base. Vision?"

"I have engaged Wanda, and Sergeant Barnes is escaping on foot," Vision reported over the comm.

Stark's eyes narrowed. "Barnes is mine. Keep Wanda busy." He ran off down the hall.

"Tony wait!" Rhodey said. He started to run after Stark, but the exoskeleton couldn't keep up with the suit. He stopped as Stark ran around the corner. "I swear he made this thing slow on purpose."

"Get your suit and go after him before he kills someone," Hope said, searching for her missing Stinger.

"What about you?"

Hope found the Stinger and picked it up with the tip of her fingers. "Scott disabled my regulator. I need a few minutes to fix it but I have a pretty good idea where he's heading."

Rhodey hurried off to the hangar where his suit was being kept. Hope ran back to the conference room and took the emergency repair kit out of her bag. She had let Scott get under her skin and lost the best chance to capture him. Now he would be watching for her. With his cover blown, he would be forced to go ahead with his plan. She had to capture him before then.

* * *

"Oh Kurt, any luck with the- kzzz."

"Scott?" Wanda tapped the comm piece, but she received only silence. She turned to Bucky. "Something's wrong."

"Lang, what's going on?" Bucky asked. "Lang come in!"

"Comm is dead," Kurt said. "Locator beacon too."

"Someone found him," Bucky surmised. "Lang if you can hear me, I recommend we abort."

Wanda gaped at him. "Abort? What about Scott?"

Bucky grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. "If we don't get out of here right now, we'll be in there with them."

Wanda stood firm. "We can't just leave them here!"

"Yes we can," Bucky insisted. "You're talking like Steve and I'm the guy who keeps Steve from getting killed when he runs into a HYDRA base with half a plan. We escape now and we can help them later."

"I'm afraid I can't allow that."

Bucky turned and aimed his gun, Wanda's raise her hands, the red light dancing around her fingers. "Vision."

"Please surrender, I have no wish to hurt you and I assure you the others are alive," Vision said. Bucky fired at Vision but the bullet passed through him. Wanda held him.

"Run, I'll meet you at the rendezvous," she told Bucky. He nodded and took off.

"I have engaged Wanda, and Sergeant Barnes is escaping on foot," Vision said, sinking to a knee under the strain of her control.

"Vision, you know what they'll do to me if they catch me," Wanda warned. If she could play on his sympathy, she might have a chance to break away.

He looked at her with pleading eyes, but his voice was filled with cold resolve. "Something worse could happen if they don't. I cannot let you escape."

"No one asked you to let me."

Wanda increased Vision's density until the ground beneath him began to collapse, but she could feel him resisting. He looked up at her, his icy blue eyes burning with determination. She could feel her control slipping. Somehow Vision was fighting her hold. He struggled to move, but managed to climb to his feet and take a step toward her. She held tighter, but she wouldn't be able to hold him forever. Bucky was right, he had been holding back and this time he meant to end it.

"Hey guys, where are you?" Scott's voice crackled over the comm.

"Lang?" Bucky said.

"They found us!" Wanda said. "I'm holding Vision right now but I'm not sure how long I can maintain it."

"Where have you been?" Bucky demanded.

"I ran into an old girlfriend, current girlfriend, I'm not sure, we're working it out," Scott told them.

"Everyone needs to stop dating on missions or at least find me a cute redhead." Bucky muttered.

"I've got one for you, but you have to come get her," Scott quipped.

"Funny," Bucky growled.

"Look, I have an idea," Scott said. "I can get us inside. It's going to sound a little crazy, but I need you to trust me. Let them capture you. I know where everyone is and I know where they're going to take you."

Wanda ran through the plan in her head. It was risky, but she could feel her control slipping. It might be the only way.

"They're not going to take us conscious," Bucky cautioned.

"I know, I accounted for that," Scott assured them. "This will work."

Wanda looked at Vision. He was fighting her, but she could feel that he was in pain. If there was another way, she was taking it. Releasing her control, she pretended to faint. Vision recovered quickly and rushed to catch her in his arms as she fell. She let herself go limp, feigning unconsciousness. Vision gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

"I will do everything I can to protect you," he promised as he carried her away.

* * *

Bucky ran as fast as he could. It had been a mistake to come on this mission. He was a liability. He was the one who had the most to fear from capture and the one who couldn't risk it. He wouldn't just be thrown into prison. If they were smart, they would put him back on ice, but eventually someone would suggest that such a highly trained operative was wasted sitting in a lab. It was just a matter of time before someone reactivated the Winter Soldier. The shadows of his captivity would haunt him forever.

He thought about the base in Austria. Damn Zola for turning him into this. If they took him back, Steve wouldn't be able to help him this time. There would be no 11th hour rescue. He stopped and looked back. He remembered looking across a gap in the collapsing catwalk at Steve as the base exploded around them. He had risked his life to save Bucky and was willing to die to see that Bucky was safe.

" _Just go!" Steve called._

" _No," Bucky refused. "Not without you!"_

Bucky stared out across the open field. Years ago he had been the sort of man who would never have left his friend behind. After escaping certain death, he had been willing to throw that away to wait for Steve. Now he was running, abandoning Wanda and Scott to save himself. Did the man from that base even still exist? HYDRA had taken everything kind and good from him and turned him into a soulless monster. Bucky had given his life for Steve, but the Winter Soldier had almost killed him. Which one was he now?

"Hey guys, where are you?"

"Lang?" Bucky felt a flutter of hope as Lang's voice burst over the comm.

"They found us!" he heard Wanda say. "I'm holding Vision right now but I'm not sure how long I can maintain it."

"Where have you been?" Bucky asked. If he was still free inside the complex, they might have a chance.

"I ran into an old girlfriend, current girlfriend, I'm not sure, we're working it out."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Everyone needs to stop dating on missions or at least find me a cute redhead."

"I've got one for you, but you have to come get her."

"Funny," Bucky growled.

"Look, I have an idea. I can get us inside. It's going to sound a little crazy, but I need you to trust me. Let them capture you. I know where everyone is and I know where they're going to take you."

"They're not going to take us conscious," Bucky cautioned. "Or alive," he muttered to himself.

"I know, I accounted for that. This will work." Bucky looked at his escape route and then back at the complex. He had already disappointed Steve once. He wasn't going to let him down again.

"Ok, who's in pursuit besides Vision?"

"I just saw one of the Iron guys leave the base," Luis reported.

"Which one?" Bucky asked, looking around. If he could get Rhodes to take him in, he had a chance. "Where's Stark?"

"Right here asshole!"

Bucky turned. Stark hit him with a repulsor blast, knocking him back into the fence. Bucky barely had time to recover before Stark landed and swung at him. He stopped the punch with his left hand and fired a few rounds at Stark's head. The bullets bounced off harmlessly, but the distraction was enough for Bucky to disengage.

"Never mind, I found him!" Bucky shouted.

He ran, but it wasn't possible for him to escape Iron Man in an open field. He looked around for War Machine. Rhodes might at least keep Stark from killing him. Behind him, he heard Iron Man's repulsor jets warming up. He dropped to the ground and rolled on his back. Reaching up with his metal arm, he grabbed Stark's foot. The extra weight disrupted Stark's flight path and nearly sent him crashing into the ground. He fired the repulsors to compensate and Bucky let go. Stark shot past him. Bucky rolled to his feet and continued running. Iron Man controlled his ascent and came back, firing a series of blasts at Bucky. Bucky ducked to the side and drew his pistol. He fired at the arc reactor, but Stark evaded and accelerated toward him. Bucky ran again, but he knew he wasn't going to get far. As Stark approached, he turned to fight.

Stark landed a few yards away. "You want a rematch Terminator, you got it."

Bucky rushed in before Stark could finish. His only chance was to control the fight. If he could keep Stark off balance, he had a chance. Stark attacked. Bucky was able to evade and strike easily, but his blows had little effect. He drew a knife and attempted to stab at the weak points in hopes of severing some vital power source. Stark managed to get a hand in and fired a repulsor blast. Bucky blocked with his metal arm but it was knocked back into his face. Dazed, he fell to the ground. Stark put a foot on his chest to pin him down and opened his mask, aiming the repulsor at Bucky's face.

"This is for my mom."

Bucky lifted his arm to cover his face. In a flash of gray and red, the weight vanished from his chest with a solid clunk. Bucky fell back to the ground, taking a minute to catch his breath. Rhodes had finally arrived.

"Our orders were to take them alive!" Rhodes shouted.

Stark aimed the repulsor again. "They said take Ant-Man and the Scarlet Witch alive, he's not on the list."

"Sergeant Barnes, I suggest you surrender now!" Rhodes said urgently.

"I surrender!" Bucky got to his knees and put his hands behind his head. Stark was still ready to fire.

"Tony, he surrendered!" Rhodes shouted. "He's a prisoner. If you kill him, I'll have to take you in."

Stark closed the faceplate. "Worth it."

Rhodes blasted Stark through the chain link fence and turned to Bucky. "Sergeant Barnes. You're under arrest."

"Thank you," Bucky said, panting for breath.

Rhodes turned to look at where Stark lay on the ground. "Didn't do it for you."

* * *

Rhodes led Bucky through the base. Even though he had been restrained with magnetic cuffs, a group of armed guards followed them. He heard snippets on the radio about more permanent restraints. Stark had been ready for him, but no one else had been expecting the Winter Soldier. Rhodes led him to an empty concrete room. Wanda was lying motionless on the floor with Vision kneeling beside her.

"You better not have hurt her." Bucky snarled. He knew it was an act, but he had to play the part.

"She fainted from exertion," Vision said, brushing a strand of hair from her shoulder with a tender touch. He stood and looked at Bucky. "She will recover."

"I know you might be able to break out of that, but don't," Rhodes advised him. "Cooperate and you'll make things easier on yourself."

"Where's Steve?" Bucky asked.

"You'll see him soon," Rhodes assured him.

Bucky waited for Rhodes and Vision to leave before he tested the restraints. He couldn't break the magnetic seal, but he was able to shift the cuffs. One of the guards nervously readjusted his grip on his gun. Bucky relaxed his stance. Lang had promised that he would take care of things. Until he made his move, they needed to sit tight. Bucky took a step toward Wanda. One of the guards raised his gun. Bucky froze.

"I just want to check on my friend."

"Stay over there," the guard ordered. Suddenly he flew back as though he had been punched. The other guard turned to see what was going on and crumpled to the ground. Twisting his hands, Bucky turned the cuffs perpendicular so that he could grab the end of one in his metal hand. He squeezed, crushing it. It fell away, but the other remained firmly attached to his wrist.

"Lang," he whispered.

"Right here!" Bucky looked down at his foot. "Let me see if I can get that off and we'll be on our way. Wouldn't want you getting stuck to a door on our way out."

Wanda sat up and waved her hands at the cuff, ripping it in two. She knelt by each of the guards and waved her fingers at their head.

Lang reverted to full size. "Ok that works too."

"What are you doing to them?" Bucky asked.

"It won't hurt them," she promised. "They'll just wake up a little confused. What's the plan?"

Lang handed Bucky his guns. "They're being held down the hall. Not exactly top notch security here. Shouldn't be too much trouble to break most of them out."

"Most of them?" Bucky asked, worried he already knew the answer.

"I can't find Steve," Lang admitted. "He's not with the others and I didn't have a chance to look."

"Of course he isn't," Bucky muttered. He should have known that little punk would make this difficult. "He would want us to get the rest of the team out, that's our priority. Once we get them, we can find Steve."

"Alright, let's go." Wanda's hands began to glow.

"Guys!" Lang interjected. "It's an electronic lock. Give me a minute and I can open it without everyone in the base hearing us."

* * *

Tony paced furiously in the waiting room. Hope was in the corner, putting her suit back on after fixing the regulator. Tony rubbed his back. He was going to have some bruises tomorrow but right now he barely felt them. His heart was still racing from his encounter with Barnes. He had had him in the crosshairs and the chance had slipped through his fingers. Rhodey had warned him to leave it alone and Tony had tried, but every time he saw Barnes, the image of the man strangling his mother to death flashed through his mind. Tony sucked in a deep breath as Rhodey and Vision came in.

"Everything alright?" Hope asked.

"They're being held under guard," Vision said. "SHIELD has been called in to help contain them."

"If you'd just let me take care of it, we wouldn't need them," Tony said lightly.

Rhodey turned to him with a stern look. "Tony, you were about to violate the Sokovia Accords and the Geneva Convention. Just because you have a personal vendetta against the guy doesn't mean you get to ignore the law! All of this means nothing if we can't stick to the rules. That's what separates us from them."

"He's a murderer!" Tony cried. "I don't give a damn about the Geneva convention!"

"Unless you want to get kicked off of your own team, you'd better!" Hope said sharply. "The oversight board is already looking for a reason to get you booted."

"Killing a terrorist in a fight is not going to do it," Tony grumbled.

"No but summarily executing a prisoner would," she said sharply.

"You need to let this one go Tony," Rhodey cautioned, "because this team is hanging by a thread. You signed the Accords because you thought we needed to be put in check, well this is what being put in check looks like."

"I don't know what's more annoying Rhodey, when you think I'm wrong or when you think I'm right," Tony grumbled. "You know, maybe Rogers has a point. Sometimes the damn law just gets in the way."

Rhodey scowled, slamming his hand down on the table. "Alright, I've let you rant on long enough, so shut up and listen. James Barnes was a prisoner of war. Whatever he did under HYDRA he still deserves a fair trial! You don't get to be judge, jury, and executioner!"

"There's a videotape of him beating my Dad's face in and you expect me to just sit here?" Tony spat. From the corner of his eye Tony saw Hope staring at him, aghast.

"I never said you had to like the guy or forgive him," Rhodey continued, "but did you forget what happened in Berlin? The man was not in control of his own mind, Tony. He didn't have a choice and as hard as this might be for you to accept, it might not be his fault."

"Well then whose fault is it?" Tony roared.

"HYDRA!" Rhodey said. "Whoever gave the damn order! He was just the gun Tony!"

"Just because a weapon can't aim itself doesn't mean it's harmless," Tony said. "I should know."

"I recommend you ask Wanda how well a quest for revenge ends," Vision suggested.

Before Tony could answer the alert started blaring.

"Well I think they found Scott," Hope said quickly.

"No kidding," Rhodey said. "Hope, Vision, head for the cell block and cut them off."

They hurried out the door to deal with the breakout. Rhodey turned back to Tony.

"You stay here and cool off. We'll handle it," he insisted, leaving without another word. Tony slumped down in the chair and tried to ignore the screeching sirens.

* * *

Hope stopped Vision as they rounded the corner. She had suspected Stark was hiding something but she had never imagined anything like this.

"Did you know about that?"

"No," Vision shook his head. "But it does explain quite a few of his actions."

"No wonder he didn't want to tell us," Hope said.

"All the more reason for us to contain Sergeant Barnes quickly," Vision said. "As Col. Rhodes said, he is entitled to a fair trial before punishment."

"Do you think we should have told the Oversight Board about him?" Hope asked. They had kept silent at Stark's request, but Hope had to wonder if that had been the best idea.

Vision shook his head. "I don't think they would have attempted to capture him alive either." He paused. "I don't think he deserves to die."

"That sounds almost sentimental coming from you," Hope noted.

"Wanda seems very fond of him," Vision said. "I trust her judgement."

"Come on, if we don't get to that cell block first, it won't matter who's right." She shrank down and perched on Vision's shoulder as they hurried down the hall.

* * *

"Ok, stealth time is over," Lang said as they ran through the hall. Bucky knocked out one of the guards and Wanda reached inside his mind. It didn't take her long to find what she needed. She punched in the code for the door and it sprang open. Inside, the team jumped to their feet.

Natasha smiled at Lang. "I thought you said tomorrow."

"Well we had to make some last minute revisions," Lang said.

"Good work Tic-Tac," Wilson said.

Bucky punched the door lock on Natasha and Sharon's cell. It broke, letting the door swing open. Wanda grabbed the other door with her powers and peeled it away.

"Where's Steve?" Bucky asked.

"They took him two days ago," Sharon said. She was calm, but Bucky could tell she was worried. "They didn't tell us where, but he hasn't come back."

"Alright," Lang said. "We're going to get you guys out. There is a van parked just beyond the perimeter."

"We're not leaving Steve here," Wilson said.

"We will if we have to," Lang ordered. "If we have the whole team together we'll have a better chance of saving him later."

"We're not leaving him," Bucky assured Wilson. "I'm going after Steve. You guy's follow Lang and Wanda."

"Wait a minute!" Lang exclaimed. "I'm in charge here!" Bucky waited. "Barnes will get Rogers, the rest of you guys follow us to the van."

"We need our gear," Natasha said.

Lang dropped a disk on the floor and the equipment appeared. "You mean this stuff?"

"Now you're just showing off." Natasha rummaged through the bag and found her wrist shockers. "Alright Bucky, let's move."

"Wait, no, you're the rest of the team," Lang said. "Everyone's going outside."

" _Has he been this difficult the whole trip?"_ Natasha asked Bucky in Russian.

" _Pretty much,"_ Bucky replied. He switched back to English. "She's right. I need someone to watch my back."

"Ok, fine," Lang conceded. "We'll meet you back at the van."

"I'm going too," Wilson insisted. "He might be hurt and I'm the only one with medical training."

"No!" Lang whined. "This is a rescue! The idea is to come out with more people than you came in with."

Bucky put a hand on Wilson's shoulder. "Lang's right. We'll get Steve out, but we can't risk you getting captured. Like you said, you're the only one with medical training."

Wilson nodded. "Alright man, just get him back."

Bucky nodded and ran off with Natasha on his heels.

* * *

Scott and Wanda led the rest of the team down the hall. Their window was limited and the Avengers were still out there. War Machine and Iron Man would be limited in an indoor fight but Hope and Vision were extremely dangerous in close quarter combat. He didn't even want to think how angry Hope was going to be about her regulator. Ahead of them, a squad of armed soldiers blocked the entrance.

"Stop or we'll open fire!" One of them yelled.

Scott shrank down and Wanda threw up a barrier to protect the others. Clint fired an arrow with knockout gas into the squad. Scott jumped around, taking out as many as he could while the gas took effect. A minute later the targets were down. Wanda swirled the gas into the vent and they continued down the hall to a locked door. As they approached Vision stepped through it. Wanda's hands glowed but she made no move to stop him, instead watching him carefully.

"I will give you one chance to surrender," he said.

"Cover me," Sharon whispered to Clint, ducking behind Sam to load her gun.

"Ok," Scott said. "We'll just go back to our cell and wait for someone to-." He trailed off laughing. "Are you kidding! We have you outnumbered five to one!"

Without warning Clint loosed a blunted arrow which flew past Vision's head and hit the door behind him. Sharon leaned out and shot him in the chest with an EMP round as Wanda yanked the door open.

"He was fifteen feet away!" Sam exclaimed as they ran down the hall. "How could you miss?"

"I didn't miss," Clint said. "I shot the bug woman."

Scott glanced back as they ran. "Oh man she's going to be pissed."

* * *

~" _Do you even remember them?" Tony growled._

" _I remember all of them!" Barnes confessed in a pained voice.~_

Tony leaned back in the chair and rubbed his eyes. Since the Sokovia Accords were signed, it seemed like it had just been one disaster after another. He knew Rhodey was right, but he still couldn't stomach the thought of letting Barnes get away.

He laughed. That had been the whole reason he had wanted the Accords in the first place. He had told Rogers that they needed to be put in check, but really he had meant himself. He needed someone to stop him from trying to save the world because he couldn't stop himself. Now that it was working, he was desperately searching for a way around it.

"Boss, I have something you should see," FRIDAY said.

"Can it wait?" Tony groaned.

"No." The image popped up. Rogers was strapped to a chair, half conscious and bleeding. "I've been monitoring internal cameras for any potential intrusion and I came across this."

Tony watched the feed for a minute. There was another man in there with him. He seemed to say something. Rogers shook his head and the man hit him in the side. Rogers screamed, his face twisted in agony.

"FRIDAY run facial recognition on that man." Tony tapped the image of the interrogator.

"Subject identified as Jeffrey Mace, Director of SHIELD."

Tony killed the feed, choking down a wave of nausea. "Get Secretary Ross on the phone."

"Yes Sir, should I bypass the hold line?"

"That's my girl."

A moment later, Ross's face popped up on the screen. "Stark? I was on a call with the president!"

"Conference him in," Tony suggested. "I can't wait to see how he explains that your people are torturing Captain America. You might want to lock his Twitter account for a few days."

"Rogers no longer answers to Captain America," Ross reminded him.

"I don't think that's going to matter when people see this." He brought up the security footage Friday had intercepted. "That's the director of SHIELD, isn't it?"

"Stark," Ross warned.

"Look," Tony snapped. "I agreed to the Accords, I agreed to help you bring in the others who didn't, but I did not agree to help you set up some Superhero Guantanamo Bay!"

"The Avengers involvement in this matter is limited to capture," Ross said. "And that is only because you are the only ones equipped to handle it. If anyone else could bring them in you wouldn't be here."

"I signed the Accords because I thought we needed some accountability, but you've just turned us into a police force for super humans!"

"The terms of the Accords were that the UN Oversight Board determines when and where the Avengers are needed. They felt that the greatest threat to security was having an unregulated paramilitary group running around."

"A bigger threat than terrorists trying to blow up the Golden Gate Bridge at rush hour? Or human trafficking in Prague? Or antique smuggling in Bangkok? Incidents that Rogers and his people handled without incident until you told us to hunt them down."

"And you waited until the last possible moment," Ross chastised.

"Sorry, next time they stop someone from trying to shoot up your office, I'll arrest Rogers before he even gets there." An alert sounded on his watch.

"I have to go, I'll send you a long rambling voicemail with my thoughts." Tony ended the call and switched to the comm. "Talk to me."

"Barnes and Wanda have escaped," Rhodey said.

"So have the others," Hope groaned.

Tony reached for the suit but paused. "Friday, search the network and see if you can find any intruders in the system?"

"You mean besides you?"

"Yes, besides me."

"I detect one intrusion. Should I show them the door?"

Tony thought for a moment. "No, let's open it. Send over the security footage. Live feed and the recordings from earlier."

* * *

"So my brother Enrique was hanging out at this charity walk, hitting up some nice looking runner chicks, you know and -"

Kurt's screen went blank. "Oh no."

"What is oh no?" Dave asked. "Oh no does not sound good."

"What's up man?" Luis asked, climbing down from the roof of the van and opening the door.

Kurt typed furiously. "I think I've been hacked." A video popped up on his screen. "Look at this."

Luis recoiled. "Damn! Is that Captain America?"

"He's not looking good," Dave said, shaking his head.

"Scott! Scott, man are you there?" Luis called over the com

"About to head out," Scott told him.

"You need to go find Captain America," Dave told him. "He's in trouble."

"We don't know where he is," Scott said. "I'm sending Barnes to find him and the rest of us are coming to you."

"Hold on," Kurt said. "Someone just send me live feed to security cameras. I can guide you."

"What do you mean someone sent it to you?" a woman asked.

"Who's this?" Dave asked.

"Black Widow," she said. "Who's this?"

"Introductions later," Scott cut in. "They're with me."

"They hack my computer," Kurt said. "Give me access to the security cameras."

"Which means they're listening in," Black Widow surmised.

" _Do you have our location?"_ Bucky asked in Russian.

" _Yes,"_ Kurt replied. " _Go down the hall and there will be a staircase on your left. I should warn you, he's not in good shape."_

" _He never is,"_ Black Widow said.

* * *

"Sir, security footage indicates that the Winter Soldier and the Black Widow are enroute to the interrogation room.

"Good." Tony pressed the button to activate the Iron Man suit. "FRIDAY, open a secure channel. Listen up guys, we have a change of plans. I want everyone outside. Follow my lead."

"Tony, if this is a trick," Rhodey began.

"Rhodey, I'm fine," Tony assured him.

"I know you think that-"

"Trust me, I have a plan," Tony cut in. "We're just going to pretend like all this never happened."

"Wait, we're just going to let them go?" Hope asked, baffled.

"I'll explain later, right now you have to trust me."

For a moment the comm was silent. Finally Rhodey asked, "Ok, what do you want us to do,"

* * *

" _You're there, the door on your left,"_ Kurt said. Bucky and Natasha skidded to a halt and examined the door.

"Give me two minutes I can get this open," Natasha said, fishing a tool out of her belt. Bucky punched the door with his left arm. "Or you could just break it."

Natasha pushed the door open. Inside, Steve was duct taped to a chair. His face was bloody and he was slouched against the restraints. The interrogator stood between them and Steve.

"You must be Sergeant Barnes," he said.

"Get Steve!" Natasha ordered. She rushed in and attacked the interrogator as Bucky ran to the chair.

"Steve, wake up, we need to get out of here," Bucky said. Steve raised his head weakly, his eyes barely opening.

"I had him on the ropes," he slurred with a lopsided grin.

"I swear, sometimes I think you like getting punched," Bucky muttered, cutting the restraints. Steve didn't respond to the joke. His head rolled forward as Bucky nudged him aside to cut the duct tape holding him up. Bucky felt a flutter of panic. His injuries were probably serious if he was this out of it.

"Heads up!" Natasha yelled.

Bucky turned and blocked a strike from the interrogator with his left arm. The man was surprisingly strong but the vibranium absorbed the impact. Bucky followed with a right and kicked him in the stomach. The man caught his foot, but Natasha had recovered and climbed on top of the man's shoulders, choking him with a garotte. Bucky punched him in the stomach as Natasha continued to choke him. Finally he passed out from the lack of oxygen. Natasha jumped off as he went down.

"I think I'm a bit stiff from being locked up for a week," Natasha said, rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah, you did terrible," Bucky said sarcastically. He finished cutting the tape and put an arm around Steve's torso to lift him out of the chair. Steve screamed in pain. Bucky ignored his cries and lifted him into a standing position.

"Steve, I need you to walk." Bucky said. "I think you have a broken rib. If I try to carry you, it could make it worse."

Steve staggered forward, swaying precariously. Bucky tried to support him carefully as Natasha ran ahead to clear the way. It was slow going. Every soldier in the base seemed to be converging on their location. Bucky and Steve plodded along behind her as best they could. They came to an intersection where Natasha was waiting for them.

" _Kurt, which way?"_ Bucky asked.

" _Soldiers are approaching from the left,"_ Kurt reported. " _Go right and then head up the stairs. You should be able to avoid them."_

They ran down the right corridor and started to climb the stairs. Steve stumbled. Bucky caught him, but the sudden motion jarred his injuries. He sank to his knees, his face twisted in pain.

"I'm slowing you down," he gasped. "Just get out of here."

"Not without you," Bucky insisted. He had come too far to give up now. "Sorry pal, this might hurt."

He knelt down to scoop Steve up in his arms. Steve wrapped his arms weakly around Bucky's neck as Bucky carried him up the stairs. It would have been easier to carry Steve on his back, but putting that sort of pressure on his ribs could cause serious internal damage. They would be lucky if he didn't have a punctured lung already.

" _The exit should be just ahead to your left,"_ Kurt told them as they ran.

"You get Steve to the extraction point," Natasha ordered. They stopped at the door. She grabbed a smoke grenade and checked Bucky's gun. "On three?"

Bucky nodded. "One, two, three!"

Natasha kicked open the door and they ran for the fence. Overhead, Bucky heard the roar of repulsors coming toward them. They slowed to a halt as the Avengers took position in front of them. Bucky readjusted Steve and drew his pistol. Natasha stood in front to cover them as Bucky took aim at Stark.

"Jeez, what the hell did they do to him?" Rhodes asked, disgusted.

"Extreme Makeover, SHIELD Edition," Stark said sarcastically. "What the hell do you think?"

"You knew about this?" said a female voice that Bucky couldn't locate.

"I think we can all just admit this got way out of hand." He aimed a repulsor at Bucky. Steve lifted his head weakly. "It's over. Surrender and come peacefully."

Bucky fired a warning shot at Iron Man's head. "Fuck off!"

"Just run, Buck," Steve groaned.

Bucky tightened his grip on Steve. " _What's the play here?"_ he asked Natasha.

" _I don't know,"_ she replied. " _We need to disable Iron Man and War Machine or we don't stand a chance."_

" _I lost an arm last time I tried that. Any ideas?"_

"You know my translation software works on Russian," Stark quipped.

Natasha rattled off a string of Russian curses and insults.

Iron Man warmed up the repulsor. "Last warning."

Suddenly his armor began to malfunction and he lost flight control. Almost simultaneously, the others were incapacitated as well. Vision was paralyzed in mid air, surrounded by a red glow, while War Machine was hit by an EMP arrow. Natasha threw a taser disk at Iron Man and Vision for good measure. Amidst the confusion, Wilson swooped in and landed beside Bucky.

"Is he conscious?" Wilson asked taking Steve's head in his hands to examine his injuries.

"In and out," Bucky told him.

"I'll get him to the van. Tic-Tac! Get out of there!" Bucky shifted Steve so that Wilson could get a grip. Wilson took off towards the extraction point.

"Alright everyone, full retreat," Lang ordered. Bucky and Natasha ran for the fence. Several yards away they found Wanda, her attention fixed on Vision.

"That's good enough, let's go." Bucky called. She turned and ran with them. Bucky gave Natasha a boost over the fence. Wanda lifted him over the fence and lifted herself up next. Bucky looked back to check if they were being followed. Several energy blasts erupted seemingly from nowhere. He deflected one with his arm, but one caught Natasha in the stomach. She stumbled, but regained her balance. They skidded to a halt as a woman appeared in front of them.

* * *

"Stop!" Hope shouted, reverting to full size. The Winter Soldier took aim but Scott reverted to full size, blocking his shot. He took off his helmet. Hope opened her face plate. Stark had ordered them to take a dive, but she couldn't let Scott go so easily.

"Scott, stand down. You're under arrest. Please don't make me hurt you."

"Hope, do you really want to see me back in prison?" he asked.

"At least I'll know where you are!" she shouted. "Do you have any idea how stressful this last year has been? I didn't know if you were alive or dead or being held at some CIA black site. Would it have killed you to pick up the phone?"

"It might have!" Scott argued. "Especially since you're an Avenger!"

"Why did you do it Scott?" Hope asked. "Just tell me that."

"I ruin things," he said lamely. "It's what I do. Every time I get something good in my life, I do something colossally stupid and ruin it. I just wanted to save the world."

Hope lowered her arm, but kept the Stinger charged. "Did you even think about me for one second before you left?"

"I never stopped thinking about you," Scott replied. "That's why I did it. I didn't want to see something bad happen to you if I could help stop it. And I still think about that every time we go on a mission."

Hope adjusted the power on the Stinger, just enough to hurt, and fired at Scott's stomach. He groaned, staggering backwards. "I've wanted to do that for a year and a half."

"Fair enough!" he coughed. Hope ran forward and kissed him.

"So we're good?" Scott asked.

"I don't know," she said wearily, closing her mask. "Just make this look good."

"You want me to hit you?"

"I want you to escape, now-"

Romanoff rushed forward and kneed her in the stomach. Hope groaned as Romanoff bent down to speak to her. "I'm sorry about that. You seem very nice. He talks about you all the time."

Hope lay there groaning as they ran off.

"Ok, roll call." Stark said, the malfunctioning systems garbling his voice.

"This is Vision, I am undamaged."

"Wasp here," Hope groaned. "I'll live."

"War Machine, I'm good. Are they away?"

"Yep, Ross won't suspect anything except incompetence," Hope assured them.

"He already thinks that anyway," Stark muttered.

"So what do we do now?" Rhodey asked.

"Not a goddamn thing," Stark groaned. "FRIDAY, reboot."

Hope looked at the sky. "Then where's Vision going?"

* * *

Vision flew toward the road as the car sped away. Overtaking them by a safe margin, he landed in their path. The car screeched, skidding in an effort to avoid him. Vision phased out and the car passed through him, skidding to a stop a few yards away. Wanda opened the door and jumped. Barnes jumped out of the other side and ran after her, grabbing her arm and pushing her behind him. He aimed his pistol at Vision.

"I've got a clip full of EMP rounds," he warned.

"And you should use them," Vision said. "Otherwise this will be difficult to explain."

Wanda put a hand on Barnes' arm and stepped forward. "Viz."

Vision felt an electrical flutter in his chest as he stepped toward her. "I'm sorry, I just wanted you to be safe."

"Locking me in prison isn't the way to do that," she said.

"I see that now," Vision admitted, the image of Captain Rogers flashing through his mind. He would not allow that to happen to her. "I miss you."

Wanda stepped forward until she was within reach. "I miss you too."

"We need to go!" Romanoff urged Wanda. Barnes waved her off.

"Vision, I'm sorry about everything that's happened." Wanda extended her hand. Vision took it, the warmth of her skin sending a tingling sensation through him.

"As am I." He tightened his grip, determined to hold on as long as he could. "I still agree with the spirit of the Accords, but this is not what I envisioned when I signed. The cost of enforcing them is too high."

"It won't last," Wanda assured him. "After this, how can it?"

"I don't know what will happen, but I will see you again." Vision stepped forward and put a hand on her chin. "I promise."

Vision could see a hint of uncertainty in her eyes, but for the first time in a long time, everything seemed clear to him. He leaned in haltingly and pressed his lips gently to hers. They were soft and warm. Wanda put her arms around him and held him tightly.

"Wanda, we need to go." Barnes called to her after a minute.

Wanda squeezed him firmly and ran back to the car, tears streaming down her face. Vision felt an ache in his chest.

"I hope this doesn't hurt you too much," Barnes said, aiming the gun.

Vision felt his mind go fuzzy as one shot hit him in the head and the other in the chest. He sank to the ground as they drove away.

* * *

Lang pulled into the dark alley behind the van. Barton was waiting for them with Luis, Dave, and Kurt. Bucky got out of the car and rushed over to the van. Through the back window he could see Steve lying on the floor. He was conscious for the moment but Wilson and Sharon looked concerned.

"How is he?" Bucky asked. The last time he had seen Steve in this condition had been the helicarrier.

Barton shook his head. "Not good. A few broken ribs, probably a concussion, plus a couple dozen cuts and bruises. Sam thinks he'll live, but we should find a doctor to check him out."

"We need to get the jet," Wanda said.

"No." Lang shook his head. "We need to lay low. Everyone in San Francisco is going to be looking for us. We should stay out of sight until that cools off."

"You guys can stay with us," Luis offered. "It'll be fun!"

"That's the first place they'll look," Lang pointed out. "And you guys should probably get out of town for a few days."

"The man's right," Dave said. "I think this would be a good time to go visit that smoking hot cousin of yours."

"Ernesto?"

Dave gave him an exasperated look. "No, the other one!"

"Marianna?" Luis asked. "She lives in Mexico."

"Yes. We go visit pretty lady until coast is clear," Kurt explained.

Lang tossed them the keys. "You guys take the car. When you get back, call Jim and report the van as stolen. We'll leave it in an empty lot somewhere. Tell him you've been on vacation."

"What about you guys?" Luis asked.

"There's a motel down the street that looks pretty deserted," Bucky suggested.

Lang nodded. "After we get settled, I'll sneak into the apartment and make sure it's clean in case they search it."

"It was good to see you Scottie," Luis said.

"You too." Lang said, embracing him warmly.

Luis threw his arms open and turned to Bucky and Wanda. "Come on, bring it in!" He said throwing his arms around them. Bucky stiffened, surprised by the sudden embrace but he tentatively lifted a hand to pat Luis on the back. Luis squeezed harder. "I know it was short, but I'm gonna miss you guys."

"Thanks," Bucky said.

"We couldn't have done this without you." Wanda told him.

Scott reached into the glove compartment and took out an envelope. He split the stack of money and gave Luis half. "This should hold you over until things settle down."

"Take care Scottie," Luis said as they climbed in the car and drove off.

Lang turned back to them. "Alright, we need to get to the motel and then ditch this van."

He and Barton got in the front of the van while the others climbed in the back. Bucky climbed in beside Steve.

Steve opened his eyes. "Bucky?"

Bucky took his hand. "Yeah I'm here."

Steve smirked and looked at Wilson. "Told you he'd come." He leaned his head back against Sharon's chest and closed his eyes. Bucky squeezed his hand tightly as they drove away.

* * *

The next day, Bucky and Natasha lay on the bed in the motel room watching the news. With limited room, they were having to take turns on the bed and right now it was their time. Barton, Wanda, Lang and Wilson were playing cards at the table. Steve was fast asleep on the other bed thanks to some powerful sedatives that Lang and Wilson had managed to acquire. Even with his stamina and endurance he was in tremendous pain. Sharon sat beside him, clutching his hand.

"In other news, civil rights groups are calling for the resignation of Secretary of State Ross after video surfaced appearing to show Steve Rogers being tortured for information by SHIELD Director Jeffrey Mace while in custody. The incident allegedly occurred while Rogers and other members of his Rogue Avengers were being held in custody at Lemoore Naval Air Station in San Francisco. Director Mace said in a statement released today that he and other SHIELD personnel involved in the incident were acting under orders and in accordance with the terms of the Sokovia Accords. Secretary Ross issued a statement that the State Department is investigating the matter. Amid speculation that he leaked the video, Tony Stark had this to say."

A video of Stark appeared on the screen. "Did we know? Well to quote Secretary Ross, 'the Avengers involvement in this matter was limited to capture', which we did because we thought it was the only way to end this peacefully. Had I known that they were going to turn Steve Rogers into a pinata, I never would have agreed to that. I still believe in the Sokovia Accords, but maybe if they would send the actual Avengers to do our job instead of turning us into some sort of superhero Gestapo, we wouldn't have this issue. If they want them brought in, fine, but there's no reason for anyone to end up with a concussion and three broken ribs," Stark's voice crescendoed.

"How do you respond to the rumors that the Winter Soldier is working with Roger's team," a reporter asked. Stark gave him a dark look.

Rhodes quickly jumped in front of Stark. "The incident is still under investigation and we can neither confirm nor deny that at this time. Thank you." He shooed Tony off camera.

"Well, he still hates you," Natasha said to Bucky. "But he seems to be softening a bit."

There was a knock at the door. Natasha put a hand on her gun and Bucky reached for his knife as Lang got up to look through the peephole.

"Police, open up," a voice called. Natasha aimed, but Lang waved her down.

"It's my ex-wife's husband." Lang opened the door. "Jim? How did you find us?"

"Your friend Luis called me to report a stolen van. I hope I'm not intruding," the tall man said. "I brought you a visitor."

A little girl with long brown hair ran into the room. "Daddy!"

"Peanut!" Lang bent down to hug her. "Hey, everyone, this is Cassie and Jim. Cassie, you remember Natasha."

"I'm going to be you for Halloween!" Cassie told her.

Natasha smiled. "Be sure to send me a picture."

Lang picked Cassie up and settled her on his hip. "And this is Bucky. He's Captain America's best friend."

"He has a metal arm!" Cassie said excitedly.

"Yep, and guess what, I've been inside it. I had to fix it for him once." Cassie gasped in awe.

"Definitely his," Bucky whispered to Natasha. She nodded.

"This is Clint, he's Hawkeye, he used a bow and arrow to take down aliens. You remember Wanda and Sam and this is Sharon. She's a spy."

"Hi Cassie," Sharon said. "It's nice to meet you."

Cassie's eyes went wide as she saw Steve on the bed. "Is that Captain America?" she whispered to Lang.

"Yeah, it is sweetie," he said, stroking her hair. "He got hurt, but he'll be ok."

"Your Dad saved his life," Sharon told her. "He's a brave man." Cassie grinned and hugged his neck. Lang gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and put her down.

"Go say hi, I need to talk to Jim for a second." Cassie ran over and climbed on the bed to look at Bucky's arm.

"I know you. You're the Winter Soldier," she said, grabbing his arm to take a closer look. "All the kids at my school say you're a bad guy."

Bucky froze but Natasha leaned in with a playful smile. "Do you think he's a bad guy?"

"No, he's helping my Daddy. They say Daddy's a bad guy too, but Mommy says he's a hero. She says some other things, but I'm not allowed to repeat them."

"Well there you go," Natasha said, tapping her on the nose with a finger.

Cassie continued examining Bucky's arm. "This is cool. Did my Daddy really fix it?"

"A few times," Bucky said. "I broke it once and he had to crawl inside and reconnect the power coupling."

"Did he tell you we have a pet ant?" She spread her arms as wide as they would go. "He's this big."

Lang sat on the edge of the bed and Cassie crawled into his lap. "Tell him what you named it, Peanut."

"Marie Ant-toinette! How strong are you?" she asked Bucky.

Bucky shrugged. "I don't really know."

"Can you lift a car?"

"I can tear the door off," Bucky replied, hoping that would stop her questions.

"Alright Peanut, let's go get a drink from the machine. I'll tell you all about it." Lang took her hand and led her out the door.

"Sorry to drop in," Jim said, "but I thought Cassie should see her Dad. I also wanted to let you know that the San Francisco police have called off the search and are assuming that you've left the area. All checkpoints are clear, so you shouldn't have a problem getting out." He took a key out of his pocket and handed it to Natasha. "Luis also said you might need some transportation."

"Thank you." Natasha said.

Jim shrugged. "My wife's been bugging me for a new car anyway. Just do me a favor and take care of Scott. He has more heart than sense, but he's a good guy.

Lang and Cassie returned. "If you were wondering, the machine works better when you have money, which I don't."

"We actually need to be going." Jim said, checking an alert on his phone. "Maggie just pulled up."

Cassie clung to Lang's leg. "Do we have to?"

"Sorry, Peanut." Lang knelt down to kiss her goodbye. Bucky could hear the strain in his voice.

Cassie hugged him. "Are you ever coming home?"

"I don't know," Lang said a tear falling down his cheek. "But you have Jim, and Mommy, and Marie Ant-toinette to look after you. So you be good for them, ok?"

Cassie nodded. She waved sadly as Jim led her away. Lang sat down on the bed, his shoulders slumped.

"Are you ok?" Bucky asked. It was strange to see him like this. He was always upbeat even when the rest of them were mired in despair.

"At least this time she can be proud of me when they lock me up for the rest of my life," Lang replied sullenly. He stood up and headed for the door. "I'm going to get a drink real quick."

Bucky watched him leave as the others settled back into their game.

"He actually has it pretty rough, doesn't he?" Natasha said quietly.

Bucky nodded, taking a look around the room. No one would argue that his life had been a complete tragedy, but he had been lucky enough to find friends who cared about him, even when he thought he wasn't worth the trouble. Everything that mattered to him was right here in this room, but the most important thing in Lang's life had just walked out the door. On the side table Bucky noticed a pile of change.

"I'll be right back."

* * *

Scott leaned against the ice machine sobbing uncontrollably until there were no more tears to cry. His first night in prison, being away from Cassie had been the hardest thing for him to accept. Even after a year and a half, he still felt an empty pit in his stomach whenever he thought of her. It was better this way, but that didn't make it any easier. Finally he managed to catch his breath and went to the drink machine. He reached into his pocket and realized that he had forgotten to bring money again. Utterly defeated, he banged his head slowly on the machine.

From behind him, someone reached around and put a handful of change in the machine. He turned to see Barnes standing there. Barnes pressed a button and reached down to pick up the can. He handed it to Scott. Scott quickly wiped his eyes and opened the can, drinking half of it before he dared to speak.

"I was just coming back for that," he said.

"Figured I'd save you the trip." Barnes turned back to the machine and bought a Coke for himself.

Scott felt a new wave of tears coming. To his surprise, Barnes hugged him. Scott clutched the soda can in one hand and Barnes shirt in the other. "It's better this way? Right?"

"I don't know if it's better, but we need you on the team. I wouldn't have made it through this without you," Barnes said quietly. Scott could hear his voice start to crack. "Steve's all I have left, and if you hadn't been here, I would have lost him."

"You have us too," Scott told him. He felt Barnes grip on him tighten for a moment before he released him and opened the can. He could see tears glistening in Barnes eyes.

"Thank you, Scott," he said quietly.

"You're welcome, Bucky."

* * *

Two days later the team finally arrived home. Sharon and Sam helped Steve upstairs to the bedroom. His condition had improved slightly, but he was still in immense pain from his injuries. Scott and Wanda headed upstairs to unpack, but Natasha hung back in the kitchen with Bucky.

"You want a drink?" she asked.

"A beer would be good," he replied, leaning against the island.

"I was thinking something stronger, but I guess that will do to start." She handed him a beer and leaned in to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

Bucky's hand went to his cheek. "What was that for?"

She smiled, leaning over to pop the cap off the bottle. "For coming after us."

"For a while there I wasn't sure if I would," he confessed

Natasha opened her own beer and took a sip. "Steve knew you would."

Bucky shook his head. "No, he knew Bucky would. The Winter Soldier would have run."

Natasha leaned back against the counter. "So what happened?"

Bucky took a sip. "I guess there's a little more Bucky left than I thought," he mused. "And Scott actually stepped up and pulled everyone together."

Natasha looked at him. "You got us out of there."

Bucky felt a flutter in his chest. He cleared his throat, looking down at his hands. "In Africa, I asked if you thought I could do this."

"And I said it only mattered what you thought," she reminded him.

"So?" Bucky asked, his heart pounded in his chest. "Do you trust me?"

Natasha laid her hand on top of his. "I do now."

**-End-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note: Thanks for reading! If you've never broken a rib, it hurts a lot and for a long time. Every motion you make, even breathing, especially breathing, causes excruciating pain for weeks. I hate the way they play it off in the movies like you can just walk it off. Even Captain America would be feeling it. Steve is going to be sitting out the next few missions.
> 
> Please review and let me know what you think!


	21. Reconstruction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events in San Francisco, everyone reflects on what has happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For any non-US readers who don't get the reference, "reconstruction" is the term used for the period in our history following the US Civil War.

The floor was cold as Bucky made his way downstairs. It was almost November and the mornings were cold more often than not. As he slid the kitchen rug over to stand on while he made coffee, he realized it was the first time in decades that cold feet had bothered him. During the war, he had gotten used to sleeping outside and HYDRA had always been cold. While on the run he rarely took his shoes off, afraid that he might need to leave at a moment's notice. For the first time in years, he felt safe enough to let something so trivial concern him. All the same, he might see if Natasha wanted to help him look for a pair of slippers later.

Grinning at that idea, he poured the water into the coffee maker and turned it on. As he searched for a mug, a sharp knock at the kitchen door startled him out of his thoughts. He dropped into a crouch and reached for a kitchen knife.

"Hello!" Mrs. MacKenzie called. "Someone's in there, I can hear the coffee maker!"

Bucky relaxed and opened the door. Mrs. MacKenzie was standing there in her bathrobe holding a foil wrapped coffee cake. "It's 6 AM," he said.

Mrs. Mackenzie handed him the coffee cake. "Well the girl from SHIELD showed up on my doorstep at 5:30."

"What girl?" Bucky asked. He set the coffee cake on the counter and started preheating the oven. He knew there were other agents helping them, but he had only met Fitz and Mac.

"Agent Simmons, the doctor," Mrs. MacKenzie said. "She's unpacking a few things, but she'll be over in a few minutes."

Bucky glanced down the hall and saw Natasha moving toward them in a low crouch. "It's ok, it's just Mrs. Mackenzie."

Natasha straightened and walked into the kitchen. "Did she bring coffee cake?"

"Of course!" Mrs. Mackenzie said. "I'm not going to forget my manners just because it's early."

"The oven is preheating," Bucky told her. "I'll go wake up Steve and Sharon."

He headed upstairs to Sharon's room and eased the door open. Steve lay propped up against a stack of pillows. Sharon was fast asleep with her head in his lap, clutching his hand tightly. Steve opened his eyes a put a finger to his lips.

"She just fell asleep an hour ago," he said in a groggy voice.

Bucky walked softly over to the bed to check on Steve. The cuts on his face were mostly healed, but he looked pale and his hair was damp. "Have you slept?"

Steve shook his head. "Not much. It's hard sleep sitting up like this, but if I try to lie down I feel like there's an elephant sitting on my chest."

He started coughing, clutching his ribs as the cough rattled his body. Bucky helped him sit up as he struggled to catch his breath. The fit passed and he slumped back into the pillows. As he helped Steve settle back, Bucky realized that he felt warm.  He pressed a hand to Steve's forehead.

"You're burning up."

"Really?" Steve asked in a shaky voice. "I'm freezing."

Bucky reached down to shake Sharon awake. She groaned and curled up tighter, clutching the blankets around herself. "What time is it?" she mumbled, not opening her eyes.

"Six, but the doctor is here and I think Steve has a fever."

Sharon sat up, wide awake. She reached over to check his forehead. "Bucky, stay with him for a minute." She threw on her bathrobe and hurried out of the room.

Steve groaned. "Ugh, remember when I used to have asthma?"

"Yeah, it scared the hell out of me," Bucky said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. A memory of Steve in the midst of an asthma attack flashed through his mind. He handed Steve a glass of water, helping him hold it steady as he drank. "And that time you got scarlet fever, I really thought you were going to die."

Steve smiled, leaning back against the pillows. "I'm still here. You're not getting rid of me that easily."

Sharon returned with a slender woman holding a large metal case. She set the case on the dresser and looked at Bucky.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Jemma Simmons." She held out her hand.

"Fitz's girl," Bucky remembered finally, shaking her hand. "Bucky Barnes. I'll give you some space."

He headed back down as Simmons set up to examine Steve. Natasha was alone in the kitchen, putting the coffee cake in the oven.

"Where's Mrs. MacKenzie?" he asked, topping off his coffee.

"She said she was going back to sleep. How is he?"

"He's running a fever," Bucky said, wearily leaning against the counter. "Sometimes I feel like everything has changed beyond recognition, then something like this happens and it's 1932 again."

"Except now we have antibiotics," Natasha said, sipping her coffee.

Bucky chuckled. "Do you know this doctor?"

"Only by reputation, but Coulson trusts her." She reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. "Don't worry. He's in good hands."

Bucky felt a shiver run through his body as Natasha's fingers brushed his skin. He clutched his bathrobe tighter. "When this all settles down, can we go to the mall? I need some slippers."

Natasha laughed. "Let's just order from Amazon this time."

* * *

Steve didn't complain as Sharon helped him sit up and swing his legs over the edge of the bed. That worried her even more than the pained sounds he made as she helped him removed his shirt. Usually Steve protested any time she tried to baby him, but he was too tired or too weak to care.

"So how are you today?" Simmons asked, wrapping a blood pressure cuff around Steve's arm.

"Tired," Steve said, stifling a cough. Sharon rubbed his back gently.

Simmons frowned at the noise and gingerly ran her fingers over his broken ribs. "The bruising has gone down from what agent Carter described. There's not much I can do for a broken rib, but the fever does worry me. It's not uncommon to develop pneumonia." Simmons took out a stethoscope and pressed it to his chest. "Deep breath."

Steve inhaled, his face twisted in pain.

"And again," Simmons prompted. Steve inhaled, wincing as a cough jostled his ribs. She checked a few more spots before putting the stethoscope away. "Yes, you do have pneumonia. I'll prescribe an antibiotic, but it will just take time."

Sharon helped Steve settle back against the pillow. "How long?"

"For a normal person, a serious case like this can take months to fully clear up."

"Months!" Steve cried. Another coughing fit stopped him from saying any more.

"Probably less with your physiology," Simmons added quickly, "but if you try to do too much too quickly, you'll only make it worse. It's important that you try to take a deep breath at least once an hour. I know it's painful, but it's the only way to clear your lungs. You can hold a pillow to your side when you cough, that might help with the pain. I'll give you a painkiller as well."

She took two bottles of pills out of the bag and handed them to Sharon. "Give him one of these twice a day and finish the course. The painkiller as needed but no more than four times a day. I'm also prescribing a cough medicine. Other than that, rest, plenty of fluids, and you can take Tylenol for the fever."

Sharon opened the bottles and helped Steve take one of each pill as Simmons packed up her equipment.

"I can stay for a few days if you'd like," she offered. "I don't expect that you'll have any problems, but you can't be too careful."

Sharon nodded, helping Steve settle back against the pillows. "That would be great, thank you."

"I'll let you get back to sleep. I'll be staying at Mrs. Mackenzie's if you need anything."

She left the room quietly as Sharon arranged the pillows so she could sit beside Steve.

"Can you hand me that blanket?" he asked, his teeth chattering.

Sharon reached down to where the blanket lay bunched up at the foot of the bed. He must have kicked it off during the night. Carefully, she tucked the blanket around him. "Better?"

"I'm still cold," he mumbled.

She ran her fingers through his hair. "Give it a few minutes. Do you need anything else?"

Steve shook his head and closed his eyes. Sharon leaned over, carefully resting her head on his shoulder. After their ordeal, all she wanted to do was curl up in his arms, but he needed her right now. She had barely slept in days, afraid to take her eyes off him for a minute. She hadn't been able to protect him in San Francisco, but she wasn't going to let him down again. Gradually she felt him stop shivering. His breathing grew more even as he fell asleep. Sharon reached down and took his hand, letting herself drift off to sleep beside him.

* * *

Sam took the eggs out of the refrigerator. At the sink, Wanda was slicing apples while Barnes took the coffee cake out of the oven and set it on the counter to cool. At the table, Scott and Natasha sat checking the news on their phones as Simmons came downstairs.

"Good morning!" she chirped. "I hope I didn't wake you all."

"We're a bit off our normal schedule anyway," Natasha said. "Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"No, thank you. I was traveling all night and I need to take a nap."

"How is he?" Sam asked, cracking the eggs into a bowl. Steve's injuries had improved, but Sam had been concerned to hear that he had developed a fever overnight."

"It's pneumonia I'm afraid," Simmons told them. "Treatable but it does take a while."

"Well we're not going anywhere for the foreseeable future," Natasha said.

"Oh before I forget," Simmons took a control pad out of her bag. "Your new jet. We couldn't get the old one but we did manage to wipe the navigational logs and retrieve your personal effects."

Natasha took the control panel and turned it on. "How did Coulson get a new jet?"

"Consider it an apology from Director Mace."

"I'm not quite sure that covers it," Sam said sharply, beating the eggs furiously with a fork .

"No it doesn't," Simmons said bitterly. "Coulson was livid with Director Mace after the incident."

"I bet," Natasha said. "Think he'll get fired?"

"Doubtful, and I don't think it would be good if he did," Simmons warned. "I'm not trying to make excuses but Director Mace is actually quite good at the political side of his job. He thought it might be an opportunity to loosen some of the restrictions imposed by the accords."

"He beat Steve half to death for a PR stunt?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Half to death," Natasha pointed out. "It could have been worse."

"While I'm here, is everyone else alright?" Simmons asked quickly before an argument could break out.

"Yeah, nothing I couldn't patch up," Sam muttered, pouring the eggs into the frying pan.

"When you have a moment, we should go over the course of treatment I've prescribed for Captain Rogers. I don't expect any problems, but you're more familiar with his recent medical history than I am."

"I'll pop over after I shower," Sam told her.

"How's Fitz?" Scott asked cutting a slice of coffee cake.

Simmons smiled. "He's fine. He keeps hoping he'll have a reason to come back here."

"Well I have a few upgrades I want to run by him, so he might get the chance."

"Upgrades?" Barnes asked, grabbing an apple slice.

"When we were trying to get out to San Francisco, I realized it might be pretty handy if we could hide that thing from a metal detector."

Barnes shrugged, nodding in agreement.

"Well I'll be going," Simmons said. "Please let me know if there's any serious change in Captain Roger's condition."

"She seems ok," Barnes said after she had left.

"We're just lucky she was able to make it so quickly," Sam said. The kitchen fell silent for a moment as he stirred the eggs.

"You know if this does turn public opinion against the Accords that would help us a lot," Natasha mused.

Sam slapped the spatula down on the counter. "Seriously? Can you give it a rest for one day?"

"No," she answered. "I'm going to be leading this team while he's incapacitated."

"The whole suspension thing is done, right?" Scott asked.

"Well Wanda's is up, we never really settled on Barnes," Sam reminded them.

"We'll have to discuss that with the whole team," Natasha said.

"Well that's not happening today," Sam said. "Eggs are ready."

He took his plate to the table and sat down to eat as the others came up to help themselves. Right now the important thing was making sure Steve recovered quickly. Everything else could wait.

* * *

Hope shifted to lie on her side, trying to find a position that didn't hurt. The swelling in her face had gone down, but she was still sore from her injuries in the fight. It was a miracle she hadn't broken anything when Hawkeye hit her with the arrow. Settling back on the couch, she continued flipping through the news channels.

It had been four days, but the media was still fixated on the incident. Fortunately, most of the coverage was focused on the footage of the interrogation that had been leaked online. Stark swore that he hadn't posted it, but she was certain he had something to do with it. SHIELD had masterfully deflected the media firestorm back onto Secretary Ross and the UN. The Avengers had barely been mentioned aside from the occasional replay of Stark's interview.

"How's it looking?" Rhodey asked, handing her the Advil.

Hope groaned as she sat up and reached for her drink. "Depends on the station, but the president is backing Ross, while at the same time denouncing the Sokovia Accords and the UN as a threat to National Security."

"Sounds about right," Rhodey muttered.

Hope turned off the TV. "Rhodey, I know you support the Accords," she began.

"And I know you don't," he said, taking a seat on the other couch.

"I just think they're mismanaging things."

"Well it's not perfect," he acknowledged. "But I still agree with the idea that we shouldn't be the ones making the call."

"And in theory that makes sense," Hope conceded, "but I just think we should have a little more say in what we do. I'm not sure they should be the ones making the call either. That's why my father became Ant-Man in the first place. He realized the potential of the particle and didn't trust anyone else to use it responsibly. All it takes is one person with less than honorable intentions to ruin things."

"Well that goes both ways," Rhodey said. "Who gets to decide what responsible means?"

Hope shifted the pillow under her back. "Speaking of irresponsible, how's Stark?"

Rhodey sighed and sipped his coffee. "Throwing himself into his work as usual."

Hope could hear the concern in his voice. Stark had locked himself in the lab as soon as they returned. She couldn't blame him, but his behavior was too reminiscent of the way Hank had acted after her mother died. As much as he annoyed her, she had to admit that she was worried about him.

"I get why he wouldn't want to talk about his parents, but that's still a pretty big thing to keep from us."

Rhodey nodded. "I told him he should tell you, but it's not something he likes to think about. His Dad really messed him up, and losing them like that made it worse. He never really dealt with it."

"Parents can really screw things up," Hope mused.

"You too?" Rhodey guessed.

Hope nodded. "I lost my mother when I was 8. My dad lied about how it happened and more or less disappeared from my life without any explanation. We didn't speak for about 20 years."

"So what happened?"

"Well, after I voted him out as CEO, his replacement tried to recreate his work, so I reached out to him for help. That's when we met Scott and the real story finally came out. Turned out my mother was the original Wasp. They were trying to stop a missile but the only way to get inside was to go subatomic."

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. "You can do that?"

"It's kind of a one way trip," Hope explained. "All those years he was locked in his lab, he was trying to figure out how to bring her back."

Rhodey gave her a pitying look. "No luck I'm guessing."

Hope shook her head. "And it's great that we're speaking again, but it doesn't really make up for all the time we lost."

"You should tell Tony that," Rhodey suggested. "Might help if he knew he wasn't the only one with a few scars. He has kind of a hard time trusting people. "

"Well he's not the only one," Hope said.

Rhodey sighed. "If this team is going to work we need to change some things. I think working on our communication issues might be a good place to start. "

"If you can call this a team," Hope replied.

"I'd like to."

Hope nodded thoughtfully and propped herself up to grab her drink. "Speaking of which, have you seen Vision?"

Rhodey looked around. "I think he's in Wanda's old room brooding. I'll talk to him later."

Hope shook her head. "I think we can give him a few days to mope around in peace."

Rhodey nodded and turned on the TV. "What's in the Netflix queue?"

* * *

Vision stared out the window at the autumn foliage. The vibrant yellows and oranges were starting to give way to bare branches. The first year at the complex, he and Wanda had gone to explore the grounds together. He had been fascinated by the changing colors, but even more so by the way the leaves would catch in her long hair as she used her powers to make them swirl through the air. Now it was his second autumn without her and the bright leaves seemed dull. After San Francisco he had finally managed to identify his feelings for her, but it had only left them on more uncertain ground. He loved her and he was 87% certain that she reciprocated his feelings, but where did that leave them? The future of the Accords was being hotly debated, but repeal was unlikely, and unless Wanda was pardoned for her previous actions, she would still end up in prison. He could see no future for them if things continued the way they were. The rational course of action would be to forget her, but he did not think that was possible.

Closing his eyes, Vision let himself sink into the depths of the internet. Finally, he located the device he was searching for.

_Hello..._

* * *

Bucky stared helplessly at the Scrabble board. He had the Q but there was no U available. He had a few options, but they were all short and nowhere near any bonus points. Reluctantly he put a T in front of an O and scribbled down the score.

"Your turn," he muttered to Wanda.

As she made a show of studying her tiles, her phone chimed. She ignored it and set down her tiles, picking up a triple word score and a double letter score. Bucky groaned as she gleefully counted up the points. For someone whose native language wasn't English, Wanda was doing surprisingly well. He wasn't.

The phone chimed again.

"Are you going to get that?" Bucky asked. She checked the screen and for a moment he saw her eyes widen. "What is it?"

"There's a sale at that store I like," she said, putting the phone back on the table face down.

"We should go," Bucky suggested. "I need some winter clothes." Before she could answer, Scott came in.

"Hey, Bucky. Is now a good time to look at your arm?"

Bucky looked at the board. "Yeah, perfect time."

Wanda smirked. "Is this because I'm winning?"

"Yep." Bucky answered, following Scott into the kitchen. He took off his shirt and sat down at the table where Scott had laid out his tools.

"Any problems?" Scott asked, running his fingers over the plating.

"The shoulder is a little tight, but a general adjustment should take care of it," Bucky reported. "No issues with responsiveness."

"Ok, I'll give it a once over." Scott picked up a small screwdriver and started inspecting the joints.

"Hey Scott," Bucky said quietly. "Do you think you'd be able to paint it?"

"Paint it?" Scott asked, adjusting a wrist plate. "To look like what?"

"The old one had a red star," Bucky told him. "I kind of want that back."

Scott sat down beside him, popping off a plate near the elbow. "Are you sure?"

"Removing the star doesn't change anything," Bucky explained. "It just feels like I'm running away."

Scott nodded, slipping the plate back into place. "If that's what you want. One red star, coming right up. Lift your arm above your head."

"So are you ok?" Bucky asked.

Scott nodded, adjusting a plate in the crease of Bucky's arm. "First few days are always the hardest. I'm alright."

"What about your girl?"

Scott shook his head. "Who knows? I guess that kiss was a good sign, but at the same time, I don't really see how we can make it work like this."

"Do you have to do that at the table?" Wilson snapped coming into the kitchen. "We eat there!"

"Yes," Scott replied tersely. "If I get oil on the rug, Sharon will kill me. Literally."

Wilson scowled at him and grabbed a soda out of the refrigerator before heading to the den.

"What's his problem?" Bucky asked.

"I don't know," Scott muttered. "He's been a pain in the ass since we got back. That being said, we should do the painting out in the shed. Put your arm down."

Bucky lowered his arm. Scott adjusted a screw in the elbow.

"How's that?"

Bucky flexed his arm. "Good. Want to go test it out in the basement?" he asked, pulling his shirt back over his head.

"Ok, fine," Scott agreed. "But can you wear gloves? My face still hurts from where Hope blasted me."

Bucky chuckled and clapped him on the back. "Picked a real firecracker there."

* * *

Tony sat in his lab, working on the suit. He was determined to find a way to keep Ant-Man out. He'd fallen for that twice now and it was time he found a work around. The sound of high heels clacking against concrete echoed through the room.

"It's not ready for testing Hope," he said without looking up. "If you're looking for something to do, you can help Rhodey go through the surveillance footage.

"Tony."

Tony turned around, not quite certain he could believe his ears. She had changed her hair again, but she was still just the way he remembered.

"Pepper. I thought you were," he paused. "I actually stopped keeping track."

"Los Angeles," she said.

"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't want to see me."

"I didn't want to watch you kill yourself," she said in a tight voice. "But if you're going to be all over the six o'clock news once a month anyway I might as well have a front row seat."

"Skybox or floor seats?" Tony asked, turning off the soldering iron.

"I'd rather have a lounge chair by the pool in Malibu, but you just can't sit still, can you?" she said bitterly.

"Why are you here Pepper?" Tony asked. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but it's been a year and a half since I've heard from you."

"I don't know Tony," she said impatiently. "Rhodey called me. He said you almost got arrested."

"No, I almost did something that would have gotten me arrested," Tony corrected her.

"He's worried about you," Pepper said, taking a seat on the other stool. "He said you needed to talk."

"Did he say I was going to?"

"He told me not to leave until you tell me what happened in Siberia."

Tony inhaled sharply. He was going to kill Rhodey for this. "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing, he said I need to hear it from you." Pepper suddenly stood up and went to one of his work tables. She looked back at him in surprise. "Is this Captain America's shield?"

"No!" Tony jumped to his feet. "No, that's mine, my father made it."

"What happened in Siberia Tony?" she demanded.

Tony sat down heavily in the chair. "Well at that point I had been awake for about 90 hours, and I'm pretty sure I had a concussion, so maybe I didn't handle things the best way."

"What happened?" Pepper pressed him.

Tony took a deep breath. "When Rogers was bringing down HYDRA, he stumbled across a computer terminal. Apparently Arnim Zola turned himself into a computer program and while he was revealing his master plan to Rogers and Romanoff," Tony paused. "My parents. It wasn't an accident."

Pepper sucked in a breath. "HYDRA had your parents killed?"

"Yeah," Tony said quietly. "And Rogers didn't seem to think I needed to know that. Fast forward to last year, Zemo gets his hands on HYDRA's files and orchestrates that whole thing to lure us out to Siberia for a special showing of the surveillance footage."

"Oh my god," Pepper gasped.

"Oh it gets better." Tony leaned back in his chair. "Turns out the assassin they sent was Roger's friend Barnes."

Pepper sank into a chair, her face white as a sheet.

Tony kicked at the table, his hands shaking. "Maybe if he had told me about it in the first place, I might have been a little more understanding."

He rolled his chair over to the wine fridge and took out a bottle of white wine. He opened it and grabbed two glasses from the bar. "He apologized, but that doesn't really change anything. After all the crap he gave me for not consulting the team about Ultron."

"That might not be the best example."

"It's a perfect example!" Tony exclaimed, pouring the wine. He wheeled over and handed Pepper a glass. "Defending Barnes, I get, but after all his lectures about trust and honesty and teamwork, and he was lying to me for two damn years!" He took a large sip. "Romanoff too, but I expect it from her."

Pepper took a large sip of her wine. "Why do I feel like there's more?"

"I may have gone a little crazy and tried to kill Barnes," Tony mumbled into his glass.

Pepper finished her glass, eyes wide with shock. She took a deep breath and poured another one. "Oh my god," she said breathlessly.

"I'd been awake for three days! Rogers tried to stop me, of course he did, I was completely out of control." He finished his wine and refilled the glass. "We just ended up beating the hell out of each other." He took a sip. "I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't stopped me."

Pepper took a sip, at a loss for words. She was trying to stay calm but he could see her hands twitching.

"No, on second thought, I do know," Tony continued. "That's what Rhodey was saying about me almost getting arrested. Barnes came to rescue Rogers in San Francisco. I went out to capture him and I lost it. If Rhodey hadn't blasted me though a fence, I would have killed him. I thought I was ok but, every time I think about him, I hear my mom's voice on that tape, screaming-"

Pepper pressed a hand over Tony's mouth and finished her glass. "Ok, sorry. Go on.

"Anyway, that's the gist of it." Tony divided the rest of the wine between them. "You know I really thought we were friends. We had our differences but I thought he had more respect for me than that!"

"Or he understands what a complete mess you are and he was trying to keep you from doing something stupid!" Pepper argued.

"You're taking his side?"

"You just confessed to attempted murder!" Pepper squeaked. "Honestly what would you have done if he had told you?"

"I don't know," Tony admitted. "But that wasn't his call!"

"Tony, you have the worst impulse control of anyone I've ever met!" she shouted. "Maybe he had a point!"

Tony finished his glass and stood up. "I need to go upstairs and get another bottle."

Pepper clutched her glass anxiously and followed him out of the lab. "I need something stronger than wine if we're going to keep talking."

* * *

Tony felt a familiar throbbing sensation in his head as he slowly drifted back to consciousness. He was in his bed naked with Pepper beside him. For a moment he thought it was a dream and reached out to touch her, feeling her soft skin against his fingers. Pepper jerked awake.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear," Tony muttered.

Pepper buried her head in the pillow. "How much did we drink?"

Tony squeezed his eyes shut as he struggled to remember what had happened. "Well we split the Pinot Grigio but I lost track when we switched to scotch."

"Why did you let me drink scotch?" Pepper groaned.

"Well you pretty much grabbed the bottle out of my hand." Tony slid out of bed and put on his pajama pants. He tossed the robe to Pepper.

"It didn't work," she moaned. "I can't unhear any of that. Every time I think I've seen you at your worst, you top it."

"Really?" Tony asked, pulling on a shirt. "You didn't seem that appalled last night."

"I kissed you so that you would shut up," Pepper groaned, putting on her underwear and wrapping the robe around herself. "You're the one who started unzipping my dress."

"You're the one that let me." Tony sat down on the bed. "I missed you."

Pepper rubbed her head. "You really should see someone about your abandonment issues."

"It's not that. It's just, everything seemed off without you."

"Tony, I need coffee and a bottle of aspirin before we talk about that," she moaned.

Tony reached into the drawer and handed her a bottle. "Coffee's in the common room."

He gave her a bottle of water from the mini fridge. She swallowed a couple of aspirin and followed him down the hall. Rhodey was making breakfast while Hope and Vision sat on the couch watching cartoons.

"Oh, hi, I didn't realize anyone else was here." Pepper said, clutching the robe tighter.

"I don't want to seem unfriendly, but does she have clearance?" Hope asked.

"Miss Potts," Vision greeted her. "I was not aware you were here."

"I slipped in the back," Pepper said.

"Pepper, this is Hope, she gets really tiny. Hope this is Pepper. She has an access code."

"Nice to meet you," Pepper said. "Morning Rhodey."

Rhodey grinned. "You sort things out?"

"We got drunk," Tony said, pouring two cups of coffee. "We didn't really get that far."

"So I bet this is just incredibly awkward," Hope said, not bothering to hide her amusement.

"Yes," Pepper agreed, taking the mug. She stirred in some milk and sugar.

"We could go out for breakfast," Tony suggested quietly.

Pepper grimaced. "I don't think I can be in a car right now." She took her coffee to the couch and sat down with them. Tony hung back in the kitchen.

"Did you two talk?" Rhodey asked quietly, flipping the french toast.

"Yeah, thanks for the warning," Tony muttered sarcastically.

"You needed to get that off your chest," Rhodey insisted. "And if you two work things out while you're at it, even better."

"Not sure where we landed on that. That's probably another long drunken conversation."

"Get used to it," Rhodey said. "You owe the team an explanation."

"What team?" Tony asked. "It's you, me, the ice queen, an android that sounds like Jarvis, and the summer intern."

"That's my point." Rhodey said. "If you want a team, you need to start trusting them."

"Yeah that worked out so well the last time around," Tony grumbled.

"Think about it," Rhodey said.

Tony took his coffee to the couch and sat down beside Pepper. All he could managed to think about right now was the jackhammer in his head.

* * *

Bucky knocked on the kitchen door to Mrs Mackenzie's house. With the cold weather setting in, she had called him over to fix the furnace. She opened the door to let him in. "About time! It's freezing in here!"

"Well, I had to run out and get an air filter," Bucky said. He set the shopping bag down on the table where Simmons was sitting with her laptop.

"Do you want to say hi to Sergeant Barnes?" she said to the screen. Bucky looked to see who she was talking to. Fitz waved at him from the computer.

"Bucky!" he greeted him. "How's the arm? Any problems with the glove?"

"Both working great," Bucky told him.

"Wonderful! I talked to Scott about installing a jamming device so that you can get through a metal detector."

"That would be helpful."

"I should have it worked out in a few days," Fitz assured him. "I need to get going though. Good to see you."

"Bye! I'll be home soon," Simmons said, blowing a kiss at the screen. She closed the computer and went to refill her coffee. "How is Captain Rogers this morning?"

"His fever has gone down and the cough seems better," Bucky told her. He was still a little incoherent at times, but he had improved greatly.

"Good," she said. "I need to leave this afternoon but I'll check on him before I go."

Bucky nodded. "Thank you for coming out here. We were worried about him."

"And I'm worried about my furnace," Mrs Mackenzie said impatiently.

"I'm going." Bucky poured a cup of coffee and headed down to the basement. As he knelt to loosen the screws, he heard Simmons come down the stairs.

"Was there something else?" he asked as he removed the panel.

"I did want to talk to you before I go," she said. "Fitz and Mac checked your arm but I was wondering if you'd had any sort of medical attention."

"Yeah, in-" Bucky caught himself before he could say Wakanda, "the last place I was, they did a full work up. Nothing to worry about physically."

"Well if you do have any concerns I hope you know you can trust us," Simmons assured him. "We're here to help."

Bucky knelt down to examine the coils. He paused. "I don't trust SHIELD, I can't. Not after what happened. But Fitz and Mac are alright, and if Sharon trusts you to take care of Steve I guess I can too."

"All you have to do is ask," Simmons said. She turned to leave.

"Simmons?"

She paused. "Yes?"

"Have you read my file?" he asked hesitantly.

"What's available. It's difficult to tell how complete it is."

He turned to her. "Do you think it's possible to undo what they did?"

She frowned. "Which part exactly?"

"The programming," he clarified. "Is there a way to fix it so that they can't hijack my head."

"Without knowing more I can't really say. I would need to examine you more closely."

Bucky nodded, turning back to the furnace. It had been a long shot anyway.

Simmons lingered for a moment. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but in the Triskelion there used to be a memorial wall for fallen agents. The first star on it was for you. I understand it's difficult to trust a spy agency that you don't know, but to us you're as much an agent as anyone, and we take care of our own."

Bucky just nodded, but he couldn't hide the smile that crept over his face. "Say hi to Fitz and Mac for me," he called as she retreated upstairs.

* * *

Wanda stared at the text on her phone. It had been two days and she still couldn't decide if she should respond. She had been shocked to hear from Vision and a little frightened. Neither encounter with him had resolved anything between them, but she didn't see how talking to him now could help. They could never be together as long as the Accords kept the team divided. Pretending there was any hope would only make things more painful later. The door opened and she quickly locked the screen as Bucky came into the room.

"Hey, want to go to the store with me? I need to get something for dinner and we're out of Tylenol."

"Sure." Wanda slipped the phone in her pocket and followed him downstairs.

"You ok?" he asked

"I've been thinking about Vision," she confessed. She didn't like keeping things from him, but she knew what he would say if she told him about the text.

"Don't tell me that was your first kiss," Bucky said, fumbling with the photostatic glove.

Wanda reached over to help him. "No, but I just don't want it to be the last."

He pressed the button to turn on the glove and reached up to brush her hair behind her ear. "I know it's a tough situation, but I wouldn't give up on him just yet."

Wanda smiled as they put on their jackets and headed out the door. As she climbed into the car her phone dinged again.

_You don't have to reply but I can see that you've read this. I like knowing that at least I can speak to you. I miss you Wanda._

Wanda quickly hid the message and put her phone in her pocket as Bucky backed out of the driveway.

* * *

Sam went to the cabinet and took out the package of Oreo's in the cabinet. It was light. He opened it to find the package empty. "Barnes!" he yelled, slamming the cabinet door. There was no answer. He hurried upstairs. "Barnes!"

Sharon came out of her room with a finger to her lips. "Steve just fell asleep!" she whispered harshly.

"Have you seen Barnes?" he asked, waving the empty package. "That asshole ate all my Oreo's again."

Sharon rubbed her temples. "Can you two give it a rest for one goddamn day?"

Sam bit back a retort and took a deep breath. Sharon had been looking after Steve constantly since San Francisco. She was exhausted and arguing with her over something trivial like this wasn't going to do any good. "Fine I'm going to the store."

"I sent Bucky an hour ago. He should be back soon."

Downstairs, the door opened. "That's probably them," Sam said, hurrying to the kitchen. Barnes and Wanda were unpacking groceries. Sam slapped Barnes in the back of the head with the empty package. "Hey asshole, you could at least throw it away!"

Barnes glared at him, but Sam stalked off to the den before he could reply. He flopped down on the sofa and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. Picking a fight with Barnes was probably a stupid thing to do, but he had been saving those. He knew he had been a bit short tempered lately, but he couldn't think of anything he had done to deserve this. Suddenly, something hit him in the head. He looked to see a package of Oreo's sitting in his lap and Barnes standing at the door glaring at him.

"Hey asshole, there were only two left anyway."

"What, no milk?" Sam asked, opening the package.

Barnes closed the door and set a glass of milk down on the table beside the sofa. Sam stared at it suspiciously. "Ok what gives? You can't feel that guilty for eating two Oreos."

"I don't," Barnes said flatly. "You owe me an apology and then you can tell me why you're being such a dick lately."

He sat down and opened a Hershey bar, breaking off a square. Sam crammed two cookies in his mouth, chewing slowly to stall for time. Barnes always seemed to pick the worst moments to be nice. Sam didn't feel like talking right now, but Barnes was petty enough to throw it in his face later if he didn't.

"It's Steve," Sam told him.

Barnes shrugged. "He's delirious. Whatever he said, he's probably just goofy on cough syrup."

Sam shook his head. "No, seeing him like that when you guys came out of the base, I just," Sam paused to gather his thoughts, but he could see from the look on Barnes' face that he didn't need to explain.

"When we first started working together he used to talk about you and the Commandos all the time," Sam continued. "I'd listen to all his stories about the war or all the trouble you two got into as kids. Then one day it hit me; everyone this guy knows is gone and these stories are all he has left." He took a sip of milk, remembering the empty feeling in his chest as  he had flown Steve back to the van, bleeding and barely conscious. "When I was patching him up, I realized I'm one bad mission away from ending up like that."

Barnes broke off another section of chocolate and nibbled at it. He didn't reply, but Sam could see in his eyes that he understood.

"Sorry if I've been taking that out on you," Sam mumbled.

Barnes snapped apart the remaining sections of chocolate and then started snapping the pieces in half. "It's the first time I've ever seen him look this bad since before the serum," he said quietly.

"You mean aside from when you beat his ass on the helicarrier?" Sam said before he could stop himself. He started to apologize but Barnes just nodded.

"When he was a kid, he used to get beaten up all the time, and I swear he was sick every other week. It got to the point where seeing him without a black eye or a busted lip was weird. Afterwards though, it was almost like he was invincible. Everything we did and I don't think he got anything worse than a few scratches. I still watched out for him, just out of habit, but I started to relax a bit. I started to think nothing could hurt him."

Sam stuffed another cookie in his mouth as Barnes fell silent. The reality of their life was that this sort of thing could happen anytime, but seeing it happen to Steve drove the point home. Barnes was doing a better job of keeping it together, but they both knew how close they had come to losing him. It was an unsettling reminder that Steve Rogers was still only human.

"You know, I never thanked you for coming after me in Bucharest," Barnes said quietly.

"Say what?" Sam asked, not certain he had heard correctly.

"I said I bought brownie mix at the store," Barnes said louder. "Do you want double chocolate or salted caramel?"

Sam chuckled quietly. "Double Chocolate."

"I'm making salted caramel," Barnes said, heading for the door.

"Barnes?" Barnes paused with his hand on the door knob. "Thanks."

Barnes raised and eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I said, you'd better not eat that whole pan before I get one," Sam said loudly.

Barnes shook his head, grinning as he left the room. Sam settled back on the sofa, dunking an Oreo into his milk.

* * *

Sharon came downstairs as Bucky was taking the brownies out of the oven. She wobbled a little as she came into the kitchen but regained her footing.

"How's Steve?"

"Hungry," she yawned. "If he's feeling up to it, I'll see if he wants to come to dinner.

"That's a good sign," Bucky said. Sharon leaned against the counter and closed her eyes. Bucky looked at her carefully. "Are you ok?"

"Just a little tired," she mumbled.

"Have you slept at all this week?"

"Not really," she said, her voice cracking a bit. "Seems like every time I fall asleep he needs something. I haven't even showered in four days." Bucky could see tears glistening in her eyes. He put an arm around her and pulled her close.

"He's going to be ok," Bucky said softly. A weary sob ripped from her throat as he held her.

"If I had just checked the ship, none of this would have happened!" she wailed. "I tuned the sensors to pick her up, why didn't I run a sweep?"

"Hey, this isn't your fault," Bucky soothed her. He held her tightly as she cried, tears soaking into his shirt. After a minute she finally managed to catch her breath. She lifted her head, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

"Go take a nap in my bed," he offered. "I'll watch him for a while."

Sharon nodded. She got a glass of water and headed upstairs. Bucky took out the peanut butter and jelly and a couple slices of bread. He made a sandwich and poured Steve a glass of milk to go with it. After barely eating for days, Steve would need something easy on his stomach. He took them upstairs and eased open the door to Steve and Sharon's room. Steve lifted his head as Bucky entered.

"Hey." Bucky sat on the edge of the bed and set the milk on the nightstand. "I brought you a sandwich."

"Great, I can't sit up without feeling like I got punched in the side, but a sandwich will fix everything," Steve grumbled.

Bucky laughed, relieved to hear a bit of life back in Steve's voice. "You can't bitch on an empty stomach."

Steve grinned weakly. "Watch me."

Bucky laid a hand on his forehead. "Your fever's gone down, that's good."

"I told you, I'm f-" A fit of coughing interrupted him. Bucky helped him sit up and hold a pillow to his side as Simmons had suggested. The fit passed and Steve fell back against the pillows, his face twisted in pain as he struggled to catch his breath.

"Yeah, you look great," Bucky said sarcastically.

Steve grimaced. "Where's Sharon?"

"I told her to take a nap. She's been running herself ragged taking care of you."

Steve nodded. "Thanks. I feel bad for making her worry so much."

"The state you were in, we were all worried," Bucky confessed.

Steve took a few shallow breaths. "Bucky, I need to tell you something."

"You need to eat," he insisted, handing Steve the plate. Steve shook his head setting it aside.

"No, I've just been thinking. I could have died, really died and I know it's not something either of us wants to consider, but if something does happen to me, I don't want you to do anything stupid."

"Like crashing a plane into an iceberg?" Bucky said pointedly.

Steve laughed, triggering a weak cough. He clutched his ribs until it subsided. He reached out and took Bucky's hand. "If something happens, they'll take care of you."

"I know," Bucky said, squeezing his hand. "I want to show you something." He pulled up his sleeve to reveal the freshly painted red star.

Steve reached up and traced a finger across the star. "You put it back?"

Bucky nodded, sliding his sleeve back down. "Something Wanda said that I think I misinterpreted the first time. The Winter Soldier is mine now and I get to decide who he is. I thought that meant joining the team, and I still want to, but I think it means accepting that everything he did is part of me. Whether I'm responsible or not, I can't change it and I can't forget it, so I have to face it head on. I can't do that if I'm running away from him." He paused. "If I keep running away from myself."

Steve looked at him sadly but nodded. "If this is what you want. I'm just glad you're ok."

"I'm not, not really," Bucky admitted, "but I finally feel like someday I might be. I'm still not sure who I am, but I know I am someone."

Steve smiled. "Well that's a good place to start."

Bucky patted him lightly on the shoulder. "Eat your sandwich. I need to get dinner started. Sharon said you can come eat with us if you're feeling up to it. I'm making meatloaf."

"Depends on your meatloaf," Steve joked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything." Steve nodded, mumbling an acknowledgement around a mouth of peanut butter as Bucky went back downstairs.

* * *

The Avengers sat in the common room watching the news. Tony picked up another slice of pizza. The scent of Pepper's perfume still lingered on his shirt. For the first time in a while his mind seemed to be quiet. It was temporary, any peace in his life always was, but for just a moment everything was still.

"And in other news, the UN has announced that no disciplinary action will be taken against any agencies or individuals involved in recent events in San Francisco. They reaffirmed their position that all parties involved acted within the terms of the Accords but did say that they will be undertaking a review of certain procedures for the future."

Rhodey turned off the TV. "Why do I feel like it's just going to be a giant headache."

"Don't worry," Tony said. "It'll take them forever to actually decide something."

"In the meantime, Rogers and his people are still out there," Hope said. "What's your plan?"

"I don't know yet," Tony admitted. He took a bite of his pizza and looked around the room. After the Avengers had fallen apart he had come back to the complex to help establish the new team, but they had never really managed to pull it together. He had a difficult time relying on anyone after how things had ended last time, but he knew better than anyone how lonely it could be to sit in a room full of strangers. Maybe Rhodey was right. Maybe it was time to give the team a chance.

Tony looked at Vision. He was sitting perfectly still, staring off into space. "Hey Big Red, you're a million miles away."

Vision suddenly came to life. "I apologize. I was thinking."

"Well, your girlfriend isn't going anywhere for the moment. Join the conversation," Tony said, gesturing to the group.

"Speaking of girlfriends, are we going to see Pepper again?" Hope asked, reaching for a slice of pepperoni.

"I don't know. We're still talking that out," Tony mumbled. "And right now we have some team building to work on," he said, quickly changing the subject before she could press the issue.

"Team building?" Hope asked skeptically,

Rhodey raised a eyebrow in surprise. "Did you have something in mind?"

Hope looked at him with a wicked grin. "Let's play Never Have I Ever."

Tony felt his stomach turn. He glared at Hope. "Oh you are evil."

Hope just smirked.

"I'm not sure we have enough alcohol for that," Rhodey laughed as he headed to the kitchen to get a round of drinks.

"This isn't fair," Tony protested. "Vision hasn't done anything!"

Vision looked at him with an enigmatic smile. "You might be surprised."

"Fine! But since he's not drinking I get to zap him." Tony insisted. He jumped up to get the gauntlet with the taser attachment, trying to remember anything Hope or Rhodey might have done that he hadn't. If he was going down, he was taking someone with him.

* * *

Wanda was helping Bucky in the kitchen while Natasha and Scott finished setting the table. She strained the green beans while Bucky stirred the mashed potatoes and spooned them into a bowl.

"Can you take those to the table?" He asked.

Wanda grabbed the bowl and carried it to the dining room. Sam and Sharon were helping Steve down the stairs as she passed. She paused at the doorway to be sure Steve made it down the last couple of steps. She set the potatoes on the table and went back to the kitchen as Sharon helped Steve settle into a chair.

"Did Steve come down?" Bucky asked, taking the meatloaf out of the oven. She nodded.

"Great," he said with a smile. She felt a wave of relief from him. "I'll get this. Can you get the rolls?"

"Sure."

Bucky carried the meatloaf to the dining room as Wanda put the rolls in the basket. Her phone beeped. She took a quick look at it. It was another message from Vision.

_I hope you're well wherever you are. I don't really know what to say aside from that. There has been so much since you left that I wished I could tell you about. I hope you are enjoying yourself. Even though you rarely smiled, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen._

Wanda cradled the phone in her hand. She missed those little moments together, his naive quirks, the childlike joy he found in the most mundane things. He was right here and all she had to do was reply.

Sighing, she locked the phone and slipped it in her pocket. She carried the rolls into the dining room and took the seat beside Bucky. As he started cutting the meatloaf, Steve cleared his throat to get the team's attention.

"Before we eat, I'd just like to say something. Scott, Wanda, Bucky, thank you for coming after us in San Francisco. Scott, I know we put you in a difficult position, but you guys did great."

"Well, I couldn't have done it without Bucky and Wanda," Scott said. "It was a little touch and go, but they came through."

"I know things have been kind of tense lately," Steve continued, "and a lot of that's my fault, but I'm grateful to have all the people I care about here safe and sound."

Wanda smiled, but her hand drifted down to touch her phone.

Sharon kissed Steve on the cheek. "We're just glad you're ok."

"Alright enough of that," Bucky said. "I'm starving. Who wants the end piece?"

"Right here!" Scott said.

"Can someone pass the mashed potatoes?" Natasha asked.

Bucky looked around the table quickly. "Oh, damn, I left the gravy on the counter."

"I'll get it," Wanda offered. She hurried to the kitchen and took out her phone.  Opening text from Vision, she started to type.

_I miss you too. How are things at the complex?_

**-End-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A little take a breath chapter. Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think of the story so far. We are entering the final phase of the story, (it's about 2/3 complete) so if you have any burning questions that you want answered before this is over, drop me a line and let me know!


	22. Save the Last Dance for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mission in Cuba brings up old memories for Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Song credit Save the Last Dance For Me by Ben E. King and the Drifters

Bucky eased open the door to Steve's room, careful not to make too much noise. The pneumonia had mostly cleared up, but the rib was still causing him a good deal of pain and he wasn't sleeping well. Bucky found Steve sitting up against the pillows reading. He set the book aside as Bucky entered.

"How are you feeling?" Bucky asked, handing him a few pills and a glass of water from the nightstand.

"Tired," Steve replied, swallowing the medication. "This stuff wears off so fast I barely feel it."

"Well that should knock you out for an hour or so," Bucky said, setting the glass back on the nightstand. "You need anything?"

"A new rib cage?"

Bucky laughed. "Fresh out. Get some rest. I'll be downstairs if you need me."

Steve lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes as Bucky left. As he passed Wanda's room, he saw her sitting on the bed staring at her phone with a sad look in her eyes. She tapped furiously at the screen and then waited for a moment. She smiled and started tapping again. Bucky knocked on the door frame.

"Hey there, everything alright?"

"Fine," she said, quickly pocketing the phone. "What's up?"

"You've been staring at that thing for a week like it has the answers to the universe," Bucky said, gesturing to the phone.

"It's a new game I downloaded," she said casually. "It's been a little boring lately."

"Yeah, it has," Bucky agreed. He and Wanda hadn't been on a real mission in almost a month and they were both starting to get a little stir crazy. Bucky thought for a moment. "Say, what if I teach you to dance?"

"Why?" Wanda asked.

He shrugged. "Something to do. Unless you'd rather just keep staring at your phone."

"Why not," Wanda said, following him downstairs.

* * *

Bucky guided Wanda through the steps again. He hadn't been dancing since the war and he was a little rusty, but it was starting to come back to him. The memories of his youth were hazy, but the reflexes were still there. For a moment he could almost hear the sounds of the dance hall. Memories of music, laughter and the click of shoes seemed to hover just on the edge of his mind.

"And turn," Bucky instructed, leading Wanda slowly through the move as Natasha came down the stairs.

"What's going on down here?" she asked curiously.

Bucky stopped, the faint memories slipping out of reach as he snapped back to the present.

"Bucky's teaching me to dance," Wanda told her.

"Right." Natasha approached them with a coy smile. "Steve always talked about what a good dancer you were."

"I wasn't that good," he said modestly. "Steve was just that bad." He took a sip of water to calm the strange flutter in his stomach as she carefully studied his posture. They had been down here for a while and it was probably near lunch time.

"Well let's see what you've got." Natasha flipped through the music selection until she settled on a song. A warm swinging beat started to play as she held out her hand. Bucky took it and put a hand on her back, waiting for the down beat.

_~You can dance, every dance with some guy who gives you the eye and let him hold you tight~_

_~You can smile every smile for the man who held your hand 'neath the pale moonlight~_

_~But don't forget who's taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be, so darlin' save the last dance for me.~_

Natasha followed his lead, her light quick steps mirroring his with expert precision. She almost seemed to glide over the floor as she let the beat and his touch guide her feet.

_~Oh I know, that the music's fine like sparkling wine, go and have your fun~_

_~Laugh and sing,but while we're apart don't give your heart to anyone~_

_~And don't forget who's taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be, so darlin' save the last dance for me.~_

Bucky forced himself to focus on his breathing. It had been a long time since he had danced with such a skilled partner and his heart was pounding. He lifted his arm to spin her, her strong slender fingers sliding through his grip like silk. He pulled her back to him, feeling the heat of her hand as she replaced it on his shoulder.

_~Baby don't you know I love you so, can't you feel it when we touch~_

_~I will never, never let you go, I love you oh so much~_

Bucky felt Natasha's hand move slowly toward his neck, drawing her body closer to his as they danced. Even in the tight space, she still managed to place her feet perfectly, moving effortlessly as though they were attached. He could almost see the dance hall again as he watched her hair bounce softly around her face.

_~You can dance, go and carry on til the night is gone and it's time to go~_

_~If he asks, if you're all alone, can he take you home you must tell him no~_

_~Cause don't forget who's taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be, so darlin' save the last dance for me.~_

As the song ended, he spun her one more time and dipped her. For a moment, neither of them spoke. He could feel her arms trembling as her confident gaze faded for the briefest moment.

"Ok, now you're just showing off," she said.

"Sorry." Bucky straightened letting his hands glide over the curves of her slender waist as he took a step back. His fingers suddenly felt clumsy and awkward as he let them drop to his side. "How'd I do?"

"Not bad." Natasha said. She seemed almost nervous.

"It's been a while," he said quickly, wondering if he had done something wrong.

"No it was good," she said. Her tone was reassuring but she seemed to be avoiding eye contact. Bucky rubbed his neck, dismissing the thought immediately. It was probably just his imagination.

"Anyway, I came to tell you there's a team meeting in fifteen minutes." She paused. "Well ten now."

Bucky nodded. "We'll be up in a minute."

He watched as Natasha hurried upstairs, feeling the flutter in his stomach again. He went to turn off the music and noticed Wanda watching him.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said quickly. "That was good."

"Yeah?" Bucky asked.

She nodded. "Where did you learn that?"

"That's what we used to do for fun when I was younger," Bucky told her. "Come on. I need something to eat before we sit through this meeting."

Wanda put a hand on his arm. "You know what this is about."

Bucky reached up and smoothed her hair back. "Well we have to face it sometime." He leaned in to kiss her lightly on the forehead. "I promise it'll be ok."

Wanda gave him a quick hug and headed for the stairs. "Let's get this over with then."

* * *

The others were already seated in the living room when Bucky and Wanda came in. They sat down on the love seat. Bucky sat back and ate his sandwich as he waited to hear his fate. Natasha glanced at him quickly before addressing the team.

"Alright, now that everyone's had a little break, I think we need to discuss a few things."

"Steve isn't going anywhere for the next few weeks," Sharon insisted, looking pointedly at him.

"I'm over the-" A coughing fit interrupted him. Steve took a drink of water and sat back to listen to the rest of the meeting.

"Careful," Natasha cautioned playfully, "I hear pneumonia can be especially bad for senior citizens."

"I should probably stay with him," Sharon told Natasha. "At least until he can dress himself."

"Probably," Natasha agreed. "Which brings us to Wanda and Bucky."

Bucky reached over and took Wanda's hand. "I know we screwed up," Wanda said.

"Well if you learned your lesson, we'll consider the matter settled," Natasha said. She took a deep breath and looked at Bucky. "With you it's not quite that simple. There are some serious questions about your reliability in the field that we need to address."

Bucky nodded. Prague was barely a month behind them and Atlanta not that far in the past either. As much as he wanted to rejoin the team, he couldn't blame them for being cautious.

"That being said," she continued. "Without Steve, Sharon and Clint, I think we need you back."

"Of course you do," Wilson muttered.

"It's about the numbers Sam," Natasha said firmly.

Wilson frowned. "Tic-Tac? You've been running things around here. What do you think?"

Scott glanced at Bucky with a panicked look in his eyes.

"Just tell them," Bucky urged him. Lying had gotten them into this situation. Hiding the truth would only make things worse.

"Mostly he's been ok. We had a few problems, but on the last mission he and Wanda were great."

"What's a few problems?" Wilson pressed.

"Ok well the second mission he sort of flipped out and tried to kill us," Scott admitted, quickly adding, "but we worked through it!"

Wilson groaned. "Excuse me?"

"We had it under control," Scott insisted.

Wilson looked at Steve. "Did you know about this?"

Steve nodded. "I was concerned, but I think it was an isolated incident."

"This is exactly what I've been saying. We can't afford to have something like that happen in the field!"

"Sam it was weeks ago," Steve said.

"Sorry if I don't find that reassuring," Wilson said sarcastically. "What exactly happened?"

"We were doing a training exercise," Scott explained. "He told me to stop and I didn't hear him. He attacked me and Wanda used her powers to calm him down, which just upset him even more and then he attacked her so she threw him across the room."

Wilson sighed, rubbing his temples. Natasha gave Wanda a stern look. "I thought we talked about this," she said sharply. "Do we need to revisit your suspension?"

"We worked it out, it was all just a miscommunication." Scott insisted.

"A miscommunication?" Wilson cried. "He could have killed someone!"

Steve started to speak, but broke into a fit of coughing. The conversation stopped dead as Sharon ran to get him a glass of water and the ice pack from the freezer. After a minute he managed to catch his breath and settled back against the couch. Natasha and Wilson waited for a minute before continuing the discussion in a calmer tone.

"I'm not saying this doesn't concern me, but the fact is that we need him," Natasha said. "And we do have the off switch now, in case something goes wrong."

"All I'm saying is that putting him back in the field is risky," Wilson reiterated.

"Wilson was right," Bucky cut in before Natasha could reply. "I should have taken some time off after what happened in Atlanta, but I've done that and I'd like to try again," he took a deep breath. "I'll leave it up to him."

Wilson looked at him in surprise. "Say what?"

"You keep saying no one listens to you," Bucky told him. "Here you go."

Wilson eyed him suspiciously as he considered the proposal. "Can I have some time to think about it?"

"Don't take too long," Natasha said. "If we get a mission, I'm going to need an answer right away."

"Ok, well if that's the decision, then I'm taking Steve back to bed," Sharon said.

Steve sighed. "I'm-"

"Don't even finish that sentence," she interrupted. Steve groaned and let her help him off the couch.

"Well, I guess everyone can go," Natasha said.

"Starbucks?" Wanda asked Bucky.

"You read my mind," Bucky hurried upstairs to get the photostatic glove before Wilson could corner him.

* * *

It was a sunny afternoon, but the wind was chilly as Bucky and Wanda walked back to the house. Wanda shivered as a strong gust ruffled the hem of her dress. Bucky put an arm around her shoulder to keep her warm.

"Do you think Sam will let you back on the team?" she asked

"Eventually." Bucky took a sip of his coffee. "Honestly, he has a point."

"Maybe," Wanda said as they turned onto their street. "But I don't think sitting around the house is going to help you. You need to get back to work. It was a little rough at first when you joined us, but Natasha's right, we need you, and not just because we're short handed. Having you on the team has been good for all of us."

Bucky pondered her words as they entered the house. Of everyone on the team she probably knew him best. She had seen the darkest corners of his mind, yet she was still willing to fight beside him. If she could trust him after all they had been through, maybe he did have a place on the team.

"Hey Barnes!" Bucky cringed as Wilson came down the stairs. "You and I need to talk."

"You'll be fine." Wanda kissed him on the cheek and headed up to her room.

Bucky followed Wilson into the kitchen and took two beers out of the fridge. "So if I fail do I get another chance?"

Wilson took the beer and popped off the cap. "Let's try and be professional about this. I know we screw with each other but I'm not that petty."

"I know." Bucky acknowledged. He didn't always like Wilson, but when it came down to it, he did trust him.

"You ask me to make the call so I need you to work with me here. You did great in San Francisco, but it's the next mission I'm worried about. "

Bucky took a sip of his beer as Wilson tapped his fingers on the counter, trying to collect his thoughts. Before he could speak, Natasha came in with her iPad.

"If you're finished with your therapy session, we have a mission."

"We haven't even started!" Wilson cried.

"Well time's up," she said tapping at the screen. "What's it going to be?"

"Let's just leave him here with Steve and take Sharon," Wilson suggested. "I'll finish my assessment when we get back."

Natasha frowned at the screen. "Actually I'm going to have to override you this time. I need him."

"Figures," Wilson muttered.

Natasha ignored him, studying her screen intently. "Go get the others. Briefing in five."

"We're talking about this when we get back," Wilson promised.

* * *

The team sat in the living room as Natasha explained the mission. Bucky watched the screen carefully as she brought up a picture of a middle aged woman with a thin, sharp face and blond hair.

"This is the target, Galina Surikov. Former KGB with suspected ties to HYDRA. These days she's more of a freelance information broker."

Wilson turned to Bucky. "You recognize her?"

Bucky shook his head as Natasha cycled through a series of photos from a surveillance camera.

"SHIELD thinks she's the go between for a HYDRA splinter cell and an unidentified informant. We don't have any information on the contact so we'll focus on her."

"Either she's not very good at her job or she doesn't care about being seen," Scott noted.

"This sounds more like SHIELD's thing." Steve said sourly. "Why aren't they handling this?"

"SHIELD's under heavy scrutiny after San Francisco and this is sort of under the radar," Natasha replied.

"What do you care?" Sharon asked. "You're not going anyway."

"Well I'm going to be the one rescuing everyone if it's a trap," he muttered as Natasha continued.

"According to our intel Surikov is meeting her contact in Havana. We don't know what she has, but if HYDRA wants it, they probably shouldn't have it. We need to secure the package, preferably without the knowledge of either subject, and neutralize the threat. I don't know where the exchange is going to take place, but Surikov is scheduled to attend a gala at the Russian Embassy so that's a good bet. We'll monitor her movements, but if we have to go to the gala, I need someone who can speak Russian, so Bucky will be with me. Sam, Scott and Wanda will be back up."

"You want to put him in the field with HYDRA in play?" Wilson asked in disbelief.

Steve frowned. "Sam's right, that may not be the best idea."

"This is a covert mission," Natasha reminded them. "They're going to need to keep a low profile too. The danger is negligible."

Steve looked at him carefully. "Bucky?"

Bucky looked carefully at the screen. It was risky, but he was tired of being left behind. "She's right, none of you can speak Russian."

"Fine!" Wilson conceded. "But if he starts getting crazy I'm pulling him out."

"I'll keep a close eye on him," Natasha promised. "We'll pose as a married couple on vacation. Scott, how are you at forging documents?"

"Good enough," Scott answered.

"Great, Bucky and I need Russian identification documents. I'll hack in and put us on the guest list for the gala." She turned off her iPad. "We'll be gone for a few days and it's hot down there so pack accordingly, we're moving out in three hours."

* * *

Steve leaned against the door frame watching Bucky pack as the others hurried to get ready. Sharon was in their room changing the sheets. Sam and Scott were in their room packing and Wanda was in the bathroom helping Natasha dye her hair.

"I'm actually kind of jealous," Steve said. "I need to take Sharon on a vacation. I think she'd like Cuba."

"You need to let those ribs heal," Bucky replied, grabbing a few pairs of socks out of his drawer. "I haven't seen you this sick since we were kids."

Steve coughed deeply. "I forgot how much fun this was," he said sardonically

Bucky chuckled. "You have a few days alone with your girl, just enjoy it. Might not be a tropical resort but when was the last time you two had any time alone?"

Steve sighed. "I'd enjoy it more if I could move."

Bucky grinned, stuffing a few t-shirts into his bag. "You'll figure something out."

Steve studied Bucky carefully. "You're ok with this right?"

Bucky paused for a moment leaning against the dresser. "I'm a little nervous but I can't just hide here forever. It's starting to get boring."

"I know the feeling," Steve muttered.

"I mean it Steve, try and get some rest," Bucky said firmly. "If you rush it, you'll just make it worse."

Steve looked at him flatly. Bucky rolled his eyes.

"I know, I need to take my own advice," he admitted zipping up the bag. "But that proves my point, so can you just take it easy for once?

"Alright," Steve agreed. "But promise me you'll let Natasha know if this ends up being too much for you."

Bucky nodded. "I will."

The bathroom door opened and Natasha came out. Her hair hung in loose curls just past her shoulders, dark brown mingling with her natural vibrant red. It wasn't a dramatic change, but enough to keep her from being recognized. Wanda had put blond highlights in hers and had done her make up in a more natural style.

"Anyone else want some highlights?" Natasha asked. "We have some blond left."

"Pass," Scott said. "I tried the frosted tips back in college and it wasn't a good look."

Natasha turned to Bucky. "What about you? Or I could just trim it."

Bucky shook his head, combing his fingers through his hair. "I'll just go with a hat and a pair of sunglasses."

"Suit yourself," she said. "If everyone's ready, let's get going."

Bucky slung his bag over his shoulder and reached out to wrap Steve in a careful embrace. "Take care of yourself."

"You too," Steve said, patting him firmly on the back. "Bring me some rum."

Bucky gave him a quick salute and headed downstairs. Steve wandered over to his bedroom where Sharon was finishing up with the sheets. "Need a hand?"

"No, I need you to rest," she said, smoothing the bedspread and folding down the top edge. "If you want to help, figure out what you want for dinner and find a movie on Netflix."

"Let's just get pizza," Steve muttered.

Sharon fluffed up the pillows and set them on the bed. "I know you hate sitting still, but you could sound a little more enthusiastic. When was the last time we were really alone?"

"Probably that weekend trip to Boston we took this summer." Steve said. She had a point. With so many people in the house it was nearly impossible to find any privacy.

Sharon kissed him. "I love what we do, but especially since Bucky moved in it seems like we never get any time to ourselves."

Steve put his arms around her. "Ok, the next few days I promise I'm all yours. We'll watch movies and eat junk and trade embarrassing childhood stories."

"That's all I ask," she said. "Now go order the pizza while I finish up here."

* * *

It was dark as the team began to unpack their gear in the hotel room. The jet was parked in a vacant lot a few blocks over. Wilson was helping Scott set up the surveillance equipment while Bucky and Wanda checked over the weapons. The target was staying in a hotel across the street diagonal from theirs. The curtains were drawn, but Scott had planted listening devices along the window sill. Natasha plugged her laptop into the TV and the computer screen popped up.

"Alright, let's review the plan," she said. "According to surveillance photos taken over the last two weeks, the target tends to stay within a one mile radius of the hotel and prefers to walk. Many of the places she frequents are popular with Russian tourists, so Bucky and I will follow her. Sam, Wanda, Scott, we'll position you nearby. Stay close to us but stay out of sight until we need you. We'll switch out periodically so she doesn't think Bucky and I are following her. Wanda, if you can get close enough to read her mind, we might be able to find out who she's meeting."

Scott held up a small device. "If we can get that close I can plant a bug on her."

"We don't want to risk tipping her off," Wilson cautioned.

"Yeah, I was thinking about that," he said. "Remember that tracking device that Hope planted on the jet? She'll never even see it."

Natasha nodded. "If you can plant one on her at the gala, that will help us out a lot. Any questions?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Well, this is recording, so we should probably get some sleep," Natasha said. "We have a long few days ahead of us."

They all changed and got ready for bed. Natasha and Wanda were sharing one bed while Wilson and Scott took the other. Bucky unrolled his sleeping bag between the beds and climbed inside, reading over one of his journals as he waited for the others to settle in. Finally Scott turned off the lights. Bucky set the journal aside and took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. New places were always unsettling, but he needed to get some rest. His eyes snapped open as he felt something brush against his shoulder. He looked up to see Wanda reaching her hand down from the bed. He held it as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_The man clawed desperately at the Soldier's metal arm as he gasped for breath. The Soldier kept a tight grip on the man's throat as his struggles grew weaker and finally ceased. He squeezed, crushing the man's windpipe to be sure the job was done. Letting the body drop to the floor, he searched for the file. Forcing open the locked drawer of the desk, he pulled up the false bottom. Underneath he found the envelope his handler had described. He tucked it safely inside his jacket it and headed for the window as the door opened._

_A woman entered. She stood in the doorway, glued to the spot, gaping in horror at the body. As the Soldier drew his knife, she found her voice and screamed. Her cry was cut short as the knife flew from his hand to bury itself in her throat. She fell down next to the man, a pool of bright red blood spreading across the floor. The Soldier ran to retrieve his knife as several armed men entered the room._

_Shouting in Spanish, they fired as the Soldier ran for the open window. A bullet bounced off his left arm as he jumped out and landed in the street. He ran through the dark alley to a waiting car and got in the back. His handler sat in the front pointing a gun at him. The Soldier gave him the envelope as the driver sped away toward the extraction point._

" _Mission report," the handler ordered as he inspected the envelope._

" _Target eliminated, file retrieved." the Soldier stated._

" _Were you seen?" his handler asked. The Soldier's hesitation was all the answer he needed. "You will be punished for that."_

_The Soldier felt his pulse quicken. He was uncertain why that made him so anxious but knew he didn't want to be punished. Instinctively he reached for his knife._

" _Sputnik," the handler said. Everything faded to black._

* * *

Bucky awoke with a gasp. Shaking, he got up and eased open the balcony door. The warm salty air swept through his hair as he looked out over the city. He had expected something on the mission to trigger a memory, but he was never ready for it. He couldn't remember the punishment but he had been willing to kill a handler to avoid it. He took a deep, slow breath as he heard the door slide open behind him. He looked back to see Natasha standing there.

"I heard you get up," she said softly. She eased the door closed and stood beside him at the railing. "What was it?"

"A mission in Havana," he told her, his heart still pounding.

Natasha laid a hand on his arm. "Are you ok?"

"It was a standard mission," he said. "Eliminate the target, extract the information. But his wife or secretary or something walked in on me. I had to kill her, but she screamed and I had to run. I was punished for being seen."

Natasha squeezed his hand. "If you're not up to this, I'll understand."

Bucky shook his head. It would pass soon, it always did. "I'll be fine. It just caught me off guard."

Natasha rubbed his arm with slow soothing strokes. Bucky felt a flutter in his stomach. He looked back at the room where the others still lay fast asleep. "I think some breakfast would probably settle my nerves."

"Let me get dressed," she said.

Bucky took one last look out over the city and followed her inside. He found his pants and slipped them on before putting on a thin cotton button up shirt. On the other side of the room, Natasha stripped off her nightgown and pulled a thin sundress over her head. Bucky caught himself staring at her as the thin cotton slid over her body. He felt his pulse quicken again as she pulled her hair off her bare shoulders.

" _Darling,"_ she said in Russian. " _Would you zip me up?"_

Bucky placed a trembling hand at the small of her back and zipped up the dress with the other. She turned around to help him with the photostatic glove. He put on a straw hat and a pair of sunglasses to complete the disguise. " _Let's go kitten."_

" _What's my name?"_ Natasha asked as she scribbled a note to the others.

" _Irina,"_ he answered. " _But you seem like a kitten to me."_

" _That's right Dmitry darling,"_ she said, tickling him under the chin as they made their way down the hall to the stairwell.

" _How long have we been married?"_ Bucky asked, trying to recall the details of their cover. It was early and the dream still had him a bit muddled.

" _Long enough that you don't have to be with me every waking moment, not so long that you're bored with me."_

Bucky took a deep breath to calm the queasy feeling in his stomach. " _Who could get bored with you?"_

* * *

The morning was already hot and humid as Bucky and Natasha sat at the cafe that their target was known to frequent. It was a favorite of Russian tourists and the coffee was excellent. Bucky sipped his and pretended to read the newspaper. Spanish was not a language he had ever been programmed with, but he wasn't really interested in the news anyway. Natasha was reading something on her phone. The waitress brought their breakfast as a tall blond woman walked into the cafe.

" _The coffee's ready,"_ Natasha muttered in Russian, referring to Surikov.

" _What's in the news, kitten?"_ Bucky asked, keeping his eyes on the paper.

" _Nothing interesting,"_ she replied.

Bucky risked a glance at the window and saw Surikov's reflection. She was reading over the menu. She didn't appear to have noticed them. Bucky ordered another cup of coffee for each of them and paid the check so that they would be able to leave when Surikov did, but it seemed as though she might have just come for breakfast.

They sipped their coffee and chatted about ideas for their trip as they waited. Finally Surikov asked for the check. Bucky and Natasha stood up and left, walking down the street a bit to look at a street artist they had seen on the way over. They paused to examine a few of the works as they waited for Surikov to leave the cafe. A few minutes later, she came out and headed the other way down the street. They followed, maintaining their distance. Bucky put his arm around Natasha's waist to give the illusion they were out for an aimless stroll through the streets of Havana.

They followed Surikov to a nearby park. She sat down on a bench to read the newspaper. Bucky and Natasha walked past and sat down at a bench a few yards down. Bucky put his arm around Natasha's shoulders.

" _You know you're not half bad at this,"_ she muttered, playing with his hair.

" _Does that surprise you?"_ Bucky asked, his neck tingling as she twirled a lock around her finger.

" _Yes and no."_

Bucky frowned. " _What does that mean?"_

" _You have a knack for this, but I didn't think you had the training,"_ she elaborated.

Bucky reached up to scratch his neck. " _Even back in the war I was trained to stay out of sight and while I was on the run, I had to learn to blend in. It's not much of a jump."_

" _I think you would have made a good spy,"_ Natasha said, reaching over to fix his collar. " _Do you think you would have joined SHIELD if you had made it through the war?"_

Bucky started to say no, but considered the question for a moment. He tried not to think about what might have been. It was difficult enough to remember what actually happened and thinking of everything he had missed out on sometimes made him angry. Still, he had to wonder.

" _I could see you as a spy,"_ Natasha continued. " _A little special training and you would have been one of SHIELD's best."_

Bucky laughed. " _I'm trying to picture Steve in the Cold War and I can't. He's way too black and white for that."_

Natasha leaned her head against Bucky's shoulder. " _If he had you, I think he would have been alright."_

" _After everything we did with the SSR, I don't think I could have just gone home and settled down. Steve wouldn't have retired as Captain America no matter how much he likes to think so. I probably would have ended up in SHIELD just to keep him from getting himself killed."_

" _Do you think you would have gotten married?"_ Natasha reached up to interlace their fingers. For a moment Bucky felt short of breath as her slender fingers slipped into his.

" _Well I was famous. I probably would have spent a few years dating the Rockettes, but I would have settled down eventually."_ Bucky looked over at a group of children playing in the street. " _I guess it wasn't meant to be."_

Natasha looked sadly at the ball game. " _People like us just don't get to do that."_

"Morning, early birds," Scott chirped over the com.

"I guess you got our note?" Natasha whispered.

"We're in position," Wanda told her.

"Just tag us in when you're ready," Wilson said. As if on cue, Surikov stood up and continued on through the park.

"Target is on the move," Natasha reported, turning to Bucky. She took off his hat and held it in front of their faces, pretending to hide a kiss as Surikov passed. She waited for a minute and replaced the hat on Bucky's head. "Sam, do you see her?"

"Yeah, she's heading my way," Wilson said. "Going into a dress shop."

"Scott, where are you?" Natasha asked as they headed off to follow Surikov.

"I'm at a cafe down the street with Wanda. Get me in the shop and I'll plant a bug on her."

Bucky and Natasha left the park and headed for the dress shop. Bucky took a seat at the cafe. Wanda sat one table over playing on her phone. Natasha kissed him on the cheek and went across the street to the shop. He ordered a coffee and waited. About fifteen minutes later, Surikov emerged from the shop carrying a garment bag.

"Scott?" he asked.

"I planted the bug on her dress," Scott reported. "We'll hear anything she says at the gala. Wanda, are you getting anything?"

"No, she's just going through her schedule. She's going to the spa for the rest of the day."

"Alright, well, we have the room bugged, so we can probably let her go for now," Natasha said quietly. "If she sees too much of us, she'll get suspicious."

"I guess I need to get a tuxedo," Bucky said.

"You do," she agreed. "There's a place one block over. Meet me back at the hotel when you're done. Wanda, can you come over here and tell me how this looks?"

Wanda put her phone in her pocket and headed for the shop. Bucky thought about the gala as he finished his coffee. He couldn't remember ever going to something that fancy, but a part of him was excited. Even if it was part of a mission, it sounded like fun. He paid his tab and headed over to buy a tuxedo.

* * *

Steve shook Sharon awake as the movie ended. She jerked, kicking off the blanket.

"What? I'm up," she mumbled groggily.

"Was it that boring?" Steve asked. He and Sharon didn't always share the same taste in movies, but she usually didn't think they were bad enough to sleep through.

"No," she said, rubbing her face. "I'm just tired."

Steve brought her hand to his lips. "Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"No, I had a good nap. I should start dinner."

Steve turned off the TV. "You've been running yourself ragged lately. Let's just order Thai."

"Thai it is." Sharon said. "What do you want to do while we wait?"

Steve thought for a minute. "Let's play Sorry."

Sharon raised an eyebrow. "Sorry?"

"Bucky always used to tell me if you really want to get to know a dame, you should make her play Sorry."

"I think you already know how this is going to go," she teased.

Steve smirked. "Yeah, but do you?"

* * *

The afternoon before the gala, the team was in the hotel room preparing for the mission. Natasha brought up a map of the embassy

"Ok, Bucky's with me. Sam, there's a vacant lot across the street, park the jet in cloaked mode and wait there with Wanda. With any luck we won't need you. Scott, I'll put you in my purse."

"Your purse?" he asked.

"We need to get our weapons through security. After we're through, turn them back to normal and take position on one of the chandeliers. Bucky and I need to keep our distance, so we'll need you to keep tabs on Surikov. Once she makes the drop, we'll intercept."

"We still don't know what she has," Bucky cautioned.

"Right, so we'll need to be flexible and keep our eyes open. Scott, if we miss the drop, you'll need to go in and retrieve the package. Sam, Wanda, if that fails you'll need to intercept the contact outside."

"I always thought being a good guy would involve a lot less theft," Scott mused.

"It's ok, we're stealing from the bad guys," Natasha told him. "Everyone pack up and get ready. Wanda and Sam, you take all of our stuff to the jet. We'll meet you there after we're done. Any questions?"

"Nope," Bucky said. "Let's get going."

He went to the bathroom to shave. As he ran the razor over his face something began to stir in the back of his mind. His reflection seemed to blur, and for a moment, a young man with clear blue eyes and a cocky smile was looking back at him. He reached out to touch the mirror and the image vanished. The same blue eyes stared back at him, but they had a dull haunted look to them. Bucky rubbed his eyes and splashed water on his face to rinse off the rest of the shaving cream. It was probably just the heat. He splashed some aftershave on his face and went out to get dressed.

* * *

Bucky sat at the bar in his tuxedo nursing a glass of scotch as he waited for Natasha. She had pulled his hair back and added a pair of thick rimmed glasses. On his left hand, he wore the photostatic glove. It had been decades since he had worn anything close to a suit and it felt a little strange. He tugged at his bowtie to loosen it a bit. Slowly sipping his scotch, he glanced back at the staircase. Wilson had already left to go to the jet and Wanda was upstairs helping Natasha with her hair. Scott was sitting against the menu card on top of the bar feeding crumbs to an ant he had been training.

Heels clacked against the tile steps. Bucky looked up to see Natasha descending gracefully. She wore a long black dress with a slit up to the mid-thigh on one side. It was fitted and had a strap that covered her right shoulder, just enough to hide the scar. Her dark auburn hair had been curled and pinned up on one side. Large green gems the color of her eyes dangled from her ears. On her wrist she wore a matching bracelet. Bucky felt his heart skip a beat as she came toward him, the satin skirt rustling around her legs as she walked. For a moment, the hotel seemed to fade away.

_~Ethel smiled at him as she hurried down the steps of her house, the folds of her dress swishing around her legs.~_

~ _He felt his breath catch on his throat as Hazel came out of her room dressed in a fitted green gown. His eyes followed the full curves of her hips up to the swell of her bosom.~_

_~Dot opened the door. Her bright red hair swaying around her shoulders as she bounded down the stairs to the lobby of the apartment.~_

_~ "Sergeant!" Connie called, bouncing on her toes as Bucky and Steve approached. Bucky looked at her bright eyes, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.~_

"Are you ok?" Natasha asked, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder.

Bucky snapped back to the present. He looked at her, unable to speak for a moment. His heart was pounding but not out of fear. He took a breath and swallowed the rest of his drink.

"I'm fine," he assured her when he found his voice.

She took his hand. "If you can't do this, tell me. Sam can fill in."

Bucky squeezed her hand gently. "It's not that. It's just-" he paused, trying to think of how to explain it. He wasn't even certain what he had just seen. "You look beautiful and it's been a long time since I was out with a pretty dame."

Natasha smiled at him, blushing slightly. " _Is that all?"_ she asked, switching to Russian. She leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. " _Do we have time for a drink?"_

Bucky turned to the bartender and ordered two shots of vodka. He swallowed his quickly, trying to put the image of her bright red lips out of his head. He needed to focus on the mission. He set the glass on the bar and stood up, holding out his hand.

" _Ready to go, kitten?"_

She swallowed her drink and took his hand. " _Ready when you are, darling."_

* * *

Natasha handed the security guard her purse and walked through the metal detector. The machine beeped and they pulled her aside to use a hand held detector. When they were satisfied that her jewelry had set it off they waved her through.

Bucky followed, holding his breath as he waited to see if the new jamming system Scott had installed would work. He walked through without a problem. Natasha picked up her handbag and put her arm through his. They headed inside to find their table. Natasha put a hand on his shoulder and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

" _I'm going to the ladies room,"_ she said. " _Be a dear and get me a drink?"_

Bucky went to the bar, trying to quell the flutter in his stomach as he watched her walk off. He couldn't let little things like that rattle him. Natasha liked to tease him, but this was a mission and she was playing a part. He would sort this out later, but they had a job to do. " _Can I get a scotch neat and a vodka martini?"_

The bartender nodded and fixed the drinks. Bucky returned to the table and sat down, watching the crowd for Surikov. It was early and most of the guests were still filing in, but Surikov would likely arrive soon. Natasha came back and set her purse on the floor. She reached over to get her glass and knocked his fork off the table. " _Opps, darling would you pick that up for me?"_

" _Of course, kitten,"_ he said. He reached down and slipped the gun into his jacket pocket before grabbing the fork. He sat back up and sipped his scotch, surveying the room. Natasha tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to something across the dance floor.

" _Did you see that painting darling?"_

Bucky looked, but it wasn't the painting that drew her interest. Surikov was coming towards them. She was with a young Cuban man who probably had no clue what she was up to. He said a few words to her in Spanish and headed to the bar while she sat down next to Bucky and Natasha.

" _Good evening,"_ she greeted them. " _I'm Galina Surikov."_

" _Pleased to meet you. I'm Dmitry Pashkov and this is my wife Irina."_

" _What brings you to Cuba?"_ Surikov asked. Her tone was light and casual, but Bucky could see that she was carefully observing everything that went on around her. Her questions seemed more cautious than suspicious but they still needed to be careful.

" _Second honeymoon,"_ Natasha said, leaning on Bucky's shoulder. " _Dmitry works for the embassy in Bucharest so he managed to get us invited to this at the last minute."_

" _I thought I picked up a trace of Romanian in your accent."_ Surikov gave Natasha a scrutinizing look. " _Have we met before? You seem familiar."_

" _I think we were in the same dress shop the other day,"_ Natasha said without missing a beat. " _I must say your gown is lovely. I tried on one like it but it just didn't look quite right on me."_

" _Well it seems you found a suitable replacement,"_ Surikov complimented her. She looked like she was about to ask something else, but her date returned to the table with their drinks. Bucky took advantage of the distraction to end the conversation and turned to Natasha.

" _Care to dance, kitten?"_

Natasha took his hand. " _I thought you'd never ask."_

" _Do you think she's onto us?"_ Bucky asked.

" _No,"_ Natasha said. " _She's good, but I've seen better. She's too worried about keeping her own cover intact to figure us out."_ She switched to English, to whisper, "Scott, do you have eyes on Surikov?"

"Yep. She's playing footsy with the cabana boy, but she's scanning the room."

"Let us know if that changes," she said. "We need to keep our distance and let her make a move."

"You got it."

Bucky led Natasha out to the dance floor as the song finished. " _Nothing fancy,"_ she cautioned. " _We don't want to draw any unnecessary attention."_

Bucky nodded as the song started. He felt his heart flutter as he recognized the song. For a moment, the ballroom disappeared and he was in a dark dance hall in Brooklyn. The music was different, but somehow he was still staring at Natasha instead of Dot, or Ethel, or Connie, or Hazel.

~ _You can dance, every dance with some guy who gives you the eye and let him hold you tight~_

Natasha squeezed his hand and Bucky was back in the the embassy ballroom. He realized he had been standing perfectly still, staring at her. He put a hand on her hip and tried to focus on his movements as the song played on. His pulse raced, the thump of his heart almost drowning out the cheery brass tones of the band.

_~Oh I know that the music's fine like sparkling wine go and have your fun~_

Bucky kept his eyes on Natasha as they danced. It had been years since he had held a woman like this. He had almost forgotten how it felt to lose himself in the swing of the music and the scent of her perfume. His memories from before the war were always the hardest to recall, and most of them revolved around Steve, but there had once been a Bucky who would lead a girl out to the dance floor and forget that the rest of the world existed. That man seemed like a stranger to him most days, but here with Natasha, the memories seemed so vivid. Even with everything that HYDRA had done, there was still some small piece of that Bucky left.

~ _But don't forget who's taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be, so darlin' save the last dance for me.~_

Bucky stopped as the song faded out, still holding Natasha close to him. For the first time, the feeling in his chest when they touched made sense. He leaned in to kiss her, but Scott's voice interrupted.

"The target is heading for the stairwell."

" _Put your hand on my ass and follow her,"_ Natasha whispered.

Bucky moved his hand down to cup Natasha's firm butt cheek. He pushed the thought of her lips out of his head. This was part of the mission and they needed to stay focused. She clung to him, reaching over to tug at the buttons of his vest. They drew a few stares as they made their way through the floor, but everyone thought exactly what they intended. As they neared the door Surikov paused to look around. Bucky pushed Natasha against a wall, kissing her neck. After a moment, Surikov headed to the door.

" _Ok, go,"_ Natasha said. They slipped through the door as it closed. They heard the sound of heels as Surikov climbed the stairs. She stopped and the creak of metal hinges echoed through the stairwell.

"Whatever she has, she's dropping it for someone to pick up." Natasha whispered almost inaudibly. They crouched in the shadows as she came down the stairs and exited through the door. The moment it closed, they hurried up the stairs to the fire extinguisher and opened the door. Inside was a small plastic box.

"Is that it?" Bucky asked.

"It's a flash drive," Natasha said, sliding her phone out from a holder strapped to her thigh. She plugged in a cord and attached the small plastic box.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked.

"Erasing the data."

Bucky just nodded. He would ask Scott to explain it later when there was more time.

An alert flashed on her phone that the program was done. She disconnected the cord and placed the drive back behind the fire extinguisher. As they reached the landing one floor down, they heard the door open. Without a word, Natasha pushed Bucky into the corner and pulled him down into a kiss. Bucky reached around behind her, feeling for the gun holstered in the back of her dress. He felt her hand slide inside his jacket looking for his gun as heavy footsteps thudded up the stairs towards them. Bucky put his hand on the gun, waiting for the footsteps to pass.

"Get a room," the man muttered as he continued up the stairs.

Natasha waited until they heard the door open before she broke away. She unbutton the bottom button of his vest and reached up to untie his bowtie as they left the stairwell. They headed back to the table to get her purse. Unsurprisingly, Surikov was gone,

"Ok, package secure, heading back to the rendezvous," Natasha said over the com. Suddenly she grabbed Bucky's arm and pulled him back onto the dance floor. Following her lead, he placed a hand on her back and took her hand in the other.

"What's wrong?"

"Secretary Ross is here," she whispered as they danced. "He's standing right by the door."

Bucky led Natasha through a turn to get a look. "Ok, so what's the plan?"

"Just keep dancing until he leaves." Natasha said. Bucky moved his hand to the gun in Natasha's dress. They danced for a couple of songs before he felt her relax. "Ok, he's gone."

She slipped her arm through his as they headed toward the door. As they neared the bar, a man turned around suddenly, spilling his drink on Bucky.

"Oh, wow, that was my fault," he said, grabbing a napkin from a passing waiter to wipe some of the liquid off Bucky's shirt. "Scotch usually washes out, so I wouldn't worry too much."

Bucky felt Natasha's hand tighten on his arm. He looked at the man and realized he was standing in front of Tony Stark. Before he could say anything, a tall slender redhead stepped in and took hold of Stark's arm.

"Tony, you're being a pest" she chastised him quietly. She handed Bucky a card. "I am so sorry. Please send me the cleaning bill."

Bucky waved her off. "Please do not worry," he said in a Russian accent. "Is rental."

"Well, at least let me get you a drink," Stark said. "I need another one anyway."

"No you don't," the woman said through clenched teeth.

"Very kind of you, but we were leaving," Natasha said, pulling Bucky away before Stark could think of a reason to delay them.

"Wait a minute," Stark said. "I know you from somewhere."

Bucky's heart froze in his chest. He forced a smile and turned back shaking his head. "Is not possible."

"Yes I do," Stark insisted. "Where was it?"

"I think you are mistaken." Bucky insisted as Natasha's grip on his hand tightened. "I would remember meeting Tony Stark."

Stark nodded. "Right, my mistake. I must be confusing you with someone else."

"Tony," the woman said, pulling him away. "Again, I'm so sorry, enjoy your night"

Bucky and Natasha hurried to the exit. "Do you think he recognized us?" Natasha asked.

"Probably not." Bucky replied as they headed for the empty lot across the street. "Did you smell his breath? He was sauced."

They boarded the jet and took their seats as Wilson started the lift off procedure. Scott appeared beside them and removed his helmet. "That was close!"

"What happened?" Wilson asked.

"We ran into Stark while trying to avoid Secretary Ross," Natasha explained, sliding into the copilot's seat. "We got away, but we should get off the island ASAP."

"What was he even doing there?" Scott asked.

"Drinking all the whiskey in Cuba, judging from his breath" Bucky said.

Scott slumped in his seat. "After that I wouldn't mind joining him."

Wanda leaned over and pulled up the navigational display. "Anyone want to stop in the Bahamas for a couple of days?"

* * *

Sharon's phone beeped as she returned with a new ice pack. She handed it to Steve and opened the message. "Natasha just texted me. The mission went fine, but they're going to the Bahamas for a couple of days."

"Sorry you had to miss that," Steve said, settling the ice pack on his broken ribs.

She kissed him on the cheek. "Wouldn't be much fun without you anyway."

Steve reached over to take her hand. "I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do," she told him firmly, settling back down to continue their game of Monopoly. "Are we even going to finish this tonight?"

"Probably not," Steve said as she rolled the dice. "Bucky and I would usually give up after a couple hours."

Sharon reached down to move the top hat and landed in jail. She grudgingly paid the fee as Steve rolled.

"I never knew you liked board games so much," she said.

"I was sick a lot as a kid so sometimes it was all I could do." Steve said as he rolled the dice and counted out the squares. "Bucky always came over to play with me when I couldn't leave the house. Even though he could have been out running around, he would sit with me and play all these games."

"I bet he still would," Sharon said. She rolled the dice and landed on Steve's property. Scowling she counted out her money. "I'm $20 short."

Steve smirked. "I guess you'll have to owe me."

Sharon reached out with her foot and slowly pushed the board off the coffee table. "Oh no!" she said in mock alarm. "I guess we'll never know who won."

Steve laughed, clutching the ice pack to his side as he leaned over to kiss her. "I think we both know the answer to that."

* * *

The warm Caribbean breeze ruffled Bucky's shirt as he looked out over the water. Natasha had taken them to a small island in the Bahamas called Bimini. Bucky had never heard of it, but neither had a lot of people. It was the sort of place they could spend a few days without worrying too much about being seen. Bucky had even been able to go swimming thanks to a long sleeved rash guard Natasha had purchased for him at a nearby dive shop. They had spent the afternoon exploring the island and eaten dinner at a local seafood restaurant. Now they were at a bar watching the sunset.

Scott finished his beer and belched. "I could get used to this. Can our next safe house be on a tropical island?"

"I'm going for a walk if anyone wants to come," Wilson said.

Scott set the bottle aside and stood up. "Sounds fun."

Wanda finished her drink and joined them. "I'll go. Bucky?"

Bucky brushed his hair back as a breeze blew a few strands in his eyes. "I'm just going to sit here and enjoy the view."

"Me too," Natasha said. "You guys have fun."

Bucky looked out at the orange hue of the sun reflecting on the ocean as they walked off. "I'm a hundred years old and I never knew anywhere this beautiful existed," he said in amazement.

"This job isn't all bad," Natasha said, sipping her rum punch.

"Meredith Larson," Bucky said suddenly as the memory of another sunset drifted into focus.

"Who?" Natasha asked.

"The first girl I ever kissed," Bucky told her. "I took her to Coney Island and we were standing on the boardwalk looking out at the ocean and I kissed her."

Natasha smiled and took a sip of her drink. Bucky watched her lips pucker around the rim of the glass, remembering that he had been kissing her just the day before. There had been no time to enjoy it, but he could almost still taste the vodka on her breath. He looked away and sipped his scotch. Natasha leaned forward letting her hair drape over her bare shoulder.

"So back at the embassy, was that your first kiss since the war?"

Bucky sighed. "What gave it away?"

She shrugged. "Just guessing. It was good. You were a little tense, but I'll give you a pass on that under the circumstances."

Bucky took a long sip of his drink. "Christmas 1944."

"What?"

"The last time I kissed a girl was at a Christmas Party in 1944. Well there was the Berkley thing in 1967, but that wasn't really me." He looked out at the water as the light began to fade. "I don't even remember her name, not sure I asked, but she smelled like flowers and tasted like cinnamon."

"And no one since?" she asked.

Bucky shook his head. "Not a high priority the last couple of years. I used to love that though. Dancing, chasing girls. It was fun."

"You should do it," Natasha encouraged him. "A little flirting would be good for you."

"I don't know," he said, his pulse racing as Natasha brushed her hair behind her ear. "It's hard to find a girl who understands all this." He swallowed. "What about you? Anyone special?"

"Not lately." Natasha chuckled. "The last guy I dated was the Hulk."

Bucky's eyes went wide. "The big green guy?"

"Well, the guy who turns into the Hulk," Natasha corrected.

Bucky stared at his glass. "I take it you're not together anymore?"

She shook her head. "It's complicated but it sort of fell apart before it really started. We were in a tight spot and I had to make a choice. I chose the mission over the man." She took a sip of her drink. "I'd do it again, we needed him, but that's how it always seems to go."

"He wasn't happy about it?" Bucky guessed.

Natasha looked at him sadly. "Would you be? If I had to turn you into the Winter Soldier?"

"I'm starting to regret giving you that phrase," Bucky muttered into his glass.

She just smirked and finished her drink. "I need another one," she said, standing up.

Bucky stood and reached for the glass, his fingers brushing hers. "I'll get it. What do you want?"

"Surprise me," she said, letting go of the glass.

Bucky stood there for a moment, looking at her full red lips. He could smell the faint scent of her perfume mingled with the aroma of sun and sweat. Setting the glass on the table, he leaned in to kiss her. This had been the last thing on his mind since escaping, but over the last few days it had all come rushing back to him. There had been a version of him that existed before the war, before HYDRA. He had thought that man died in Austria, but for the first time since his escape, he could remember being that man. He was still there, buried deep inside. Not dead, but sleeping, waiting.

The soft breeze blew her hair against his cheek as the kiss ended. Natasha looked at him with wide, uncertain eyes. "Well that was surprising."

Bucky cleared his throat and picked up the glass. "I'll get that drink."

"Make it a double," she called in a shaking voice as Bucky walked away, his heart pounding.

* * *

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. Natasha barely spoke to him as they waited for the others to return. When Wilson suggested they go dancing, Bucky and Natasha both leapt at the idea, eager for a break in the tension. Natasha danced with Scott while Wilson flirted with the girls at the bar. Bucky danced with Wanda most of the night. He caught Natasha staring at him a few times, but she kept her distance.

It was after midnight when they returned to the hotel. Natasha had gotten everyone their own room so they could have some privacy after spending the last few days in such close quarters. It wasn't the nicest hotel, but Bucky had slept in far worse places. He was just glad to have a few hours away from Natasha to think about everything that had happened.

He undressed and slipped on a pair of thin shorts to sleep in. Settling in the bed, he took his pre-war journal out of his bag to record some of the memories from the last few days. As he was finishing up his entry about Meredith Larson, there was a knock on the door. He set the journal aside and went to see who it was. He found Natasha standing there with an empty airplane bottle in her hand.

"We should talk about what happened earlier," she said.

"Yeah, come in." He stepped aside to let her in and closed the door behind her.

"It was much better this time. You were much more relaxed." She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, her dress swaying around her smooth legs.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "We were talking about kissing and I just got caught up in," he trailed off, not sure what else to say. She seemed more nervous than upset.

"I did tell you to surprise me," she reminded him, taking a step towards him.

Bucky felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked into her sharp green eyes. "Well I'm full of surprises."

**-End-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes, I know cliffhanger. Sorry! I promise the next chapter will definitively resolve this situation. Please review, I always love to hear from you guys.


	23. Freight Car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mission forces Bucky and Natasha into an awkward situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh my god, I am so sorry for the long wait, especially on a cliffhanger like that! I really wanted to get it out sooner, but this one has been a pain in my ass! Also some life stuff prevented me from giving it the attention it needed. Updates will not get any quicker but please know that I will not abandon this, so don't worry about that.
> 
> The next few chapters will contain more sex than usual, but it won't be overly graphic either. If you aren't a fan of sex, sorry, I'll try to keep it plot related. I'm not trying to turn this into smut, but a part of Bucky's recovery is rediscovering his sexuality.

 

" _So you're going back out there?" Loraine asked, suddenly interested in what he was saying, She leaned forward, jutting her chest invitingly towards him._

" _Well I can't let my best pal take on HYDRA alone," Bucky said with a cocky grin, glancing down at her perky breasts._

" _That's so brave," she purred, batting her eyes at him._

_Bucky's mouth went dry as she grabbed his tie and pulled him back to a dark corner among the rows of files. He kissed her, reaching for the edge of her skirt as she started to undo the buttons of his pants. Inching her skirt up until he could grab the hem, he slid his hand underneath to caress her thigh. Freeing the last button, she slipped her hand in his pants. He shuddered as she started to stroke him, her deft fingers quickly bringing him to attention. He whimpered as she let go, but then he felt her hand brush his as she hiked up her skirt and slid her panties down to her ankles._

_His breath coming in quick shallow gasps, Bucky cupped a hand under her bare cheek and lifted her up a bit, biting back a moan as he pushed inside her. She grabbed his face and pulled him into a wet kiss, wrapping a leg around his hips as he thrust into her with quick desperate strokes. Her fingernails dug into the back of his neck sending a shiver down his spine as he felt his groin tighten. Suddenly it was over. He slumped against her for a moment to catch his breath, his legs shaking. He kissed her and stepped back to fix his clothes._

" _Thank you," was all he could think to say as she smoothed her skirt. Lorraine just smiled and headed back to her desk._

 

* * *

 

A strange feeling pulled Bucky out of his slumber. He shifted, trying to get comfortable, but the friction of the sheets just made things worse. Rolling over onto his back, he loosened the drawstring of his pants and reached in, grasping himself firmly as he thought about Lorraine. He tried to picture the curve of her red lips, but the image kept shifting. A moment ago the dream had been so vivid, but now it was difficult to remember what she looked like. Biting back a moan, he tried to focus on the feel of her firm thighs, but the color of her hair kept changing.

"Bucky?" Bucky's eyes flew open. Steve was standing in the doorway with a concerned look on his face. "I heard-" Steve trailed off, his face turning red.

Bucky sat up and grabbed a pillow to cover his lap. "Oh you've walked in on worse," he muttered.

"Coffee's ready," Steve mumbled, quickly closing the door.

Bucky lay back down and closed his eyes, but the memory was hazy, just a vague feeling of hands on skin and an indistinguishable whiff of perfume. He finished quickly and put on his robe and slippers. He headed down to the kitchen where Steve was leaning against the counter drinking his coffee.

"Ever hear of knocking?" Bucky asked, taking a mug out of the cabinet.

"I thought you were having a nightmare," Steve muttered.

Bucky laughed and clapped Steve on the shoulder. It wasn't the first time Steve had walked in on him in a compromising position. The memories were vague, but he was certain it had happened more than a few times in the army.

"I was dreaming about that dame from the SSR," he explained.

Steve frowned. "Which one?"

"The blonde one that tried to kissed you in the file room," Bucky reminded him.

"Oh her," Steve said.

Bucky laughed and sipped his coffee as Natasha came into the kitchen. He watched her carefully, his muscles tensing as she smiled at him. They had barely spoken since the last mission, but this morning she was acting like nothing had happened. She poured a cup of coffee and placed a hand on his hip to reach behind him for the sugar.

"Would you like me to move?" he asked.

"No, I'm fine," she said lightly, leaning against the counter beside him. She reached up to comb her fingers through his hair. The skin on the back of his neck tingled as her fingers danced across his scalp. "When was the last time you had this cut?"

He picked up a lock of hair. It was just past his shoulders now. "I had them trim it in Wakanda when they fixed my arm."

"We could do something a little more modern," Natasha suggested.

"No," Bucky said emphatically. "I've seen the magazines you have in the living room."

"You could go back to the military cut," Steve suggested.

Bucky shook his head. "I don't think I want it that short again." The short hair was Bucky's style. He was starting to reconcile the idea that Bucky was still a part of him, but the old look just didn't seem to fit anymore.

Natasha leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Too bad, I think it looked really sexy."

Bucky turned to see her disappear onto the patio. Brushing his hair out of his eyes he leaned back against the counter. "How well do you know Natasha?"

"What did she do?" Steve asked coughing slightly.

Bucky tapped his fingers against the counter. He wasn't sure what she was playing at, but he couldn't pretend anymore that this was some innocent flirtation.

"She keeps touching me like that," he said finally.

"She's just a flirt." Steve patted him on the shoulder and poured another cup of coffee. "If it's bothering you, tell her to stop."

Bucky twisted a lock of hair around his finger. "It's not really bothering me. It's just confusing."

Steve shrugged. "So tease her back a little. See how she likes it."

Bucky nodded, mulling over Steve's advice as Scott came into the kitchen. Yawning, he poured a cup of coffee and downed half of it before speaking.

"Morning."

"How late were you up last night?" Bucky asked.

Scott shrugged, rubbing his face. "Two maybe. Whose morning is it for breakfast?"

Steve looked at the chart. "Wanda's

Bucky sighed. "That'll be a while. She was up all night playing that stupid game on her phone."

"What game?" Steve asked.

Scott laughed. "You're really bored aren't you?"

"Just a bit," Steve admitted.

Scott turned to Bucky. "If you want, I can take a look at that sparking issue while we're waiting."

Bucky rubbed his metal arm. "If you're awake enough for it."

"I could do that in my sleep," Scott boasted, topping off his coffee. "Come on, my tools are in the basement."

Bucky refilled his cup and followed Scott downstairs. Perhaps some maintenance work would help take his mind off Natasha.

 

* * *

 

The light of the work lamp glinted off the vibranium as Scott removed the casing near the shoulder. Bucky sipped his coffee, watching curiously as he removed the jamming device and set it on the table to examine it.

"Ok, that's what I thought," Scott muttered. "When we went swimming the salt water corroded the connections."

"How did that happen?" Bucky asked. "I've never had any problems with water before."

"That was my bad. I missed a spot when I was sealing it," Scott explained, opening the casing of the device. "I can fix it if you give me a couple of days." Scott replaced the panel on Bucky's arm and continued with the rest of the maintenance routine. As he finished oiling the wrist joint, Wilson came down the stairs.

"If you're done, I need to talk to Barnes."

"Yeah, that's it for now," Scott said, turning off the lamp.

Scott took his coffee and headed back upstairs, pausing to give Bucky a thumbs up that he assumed was meant to be encouraging. Bucky wiped the excess oil off his arm, keeping his breathing steady to slow his pulse. He had put this off long enough, but he still wasn't ready. Wilson handed him a fresh cup of coffee as he sat down on the couch. He took a seat opposite Bucky and sipped his coffee, giving Bucky a moment to settle in before he began.

"So I know I had my doubts about that last mission, but you did good. Natasha said you seemed a bit rusty, but she didn't see any major issues." Wilson paused. He set the mug down and looked sternly at Bucky. "That said, one good mission doesn't mean everything's alright."

"No it doesn't," Bucky agreed.

"So, why don't you tell me how you feel about the whole thing."

Closing his eyes for a moment, Bucky took a deep breath. "You were right, I rushed back in after Atlanta," he admitted. "I still have nightmares about it. They're getting less frequent, but afterwards I started to remember other things, memories of being," he felt his breath catch, "disciplined. I made a few mistakes and there was this voice in the back of my mind saying I was going to be punished."

"You know that's not going to happen though," Wilson said firmly, with a steady gaze. "This isn't HYDRA. The worst we're going to do is bench you for a few missions, or give you some extra chores."

Bucky nodded. In his head he knew it was true, but so much of his behavior as the Winter Soldier had been subconscious, programming and training literally beaten into him over decades. He questioned whether it could ever be completely erased.

Wilson took a sip of his coffee. "So what was that thing where you tried to kill Scott and Wanda?"

Bucky opened and closed his hand a few times to relax. "We were doing an infiltration exercise. I'd been looking at the Winter Soldier file earlier and Scott picked it up randomly off the desk to use as the target. I should have asked him to choose something else, but I didn't want to explain why. During the exercise a couple of pictures fell out of the file and I lost focus. I tried to stop, but he didn't hear me. I lost my temper and lashed out at him. Wanda tried to calm me down using her powers, but when I realized what she was doing, it made me angrier."

Wilson sighed. "Ok, I can see how that might not have been completely your fault," he admitted reluctantly.

"It did help me figure some things out though," Bucky continued. "I realized in Prague when I was covering for her, it was like something I would have done for my sisters when I was a kid. It was just a reflex, but one left over from Bucky."

Wilson sipped his coffee as he mulled over that idea. "Would you have thrown your sister against the wall?"

"I might have," Bucky told him. "I once pulled her away from the radio by her braid because she was trying to change the station."

Wilson took a sip of his coffee to hide a grin. "Scott told me that you asked him to repaint the star on your arm."

"Yeah, I thought it was time." Bucky leaned back staring at the ceiling. "Everything gets jumbled up sometimes, but there's still a part of me that's him, just like there's a part of me that's still Bucky. I can't let myself forget that."

Wilson studied him carefully. "Well on that note, let's talk about your run in with Stark in San Francisco. How do you feel about that?"

Bucky took a breath to quell the queasy feeling in his stomach as he thought about the encounter. It was overwhelming to consider how much one mission had affected the life of a man he had never met. Everything the Winter Soldier had done had been carefully calculated to achieve HYDRA's vision, and there were probably a thousand stories out there like Tony Stark's. This was the first time though that Bucky had seen the impact of his actions up close.

"I understand why he wanted to kill me," Bucky said finally.

"Do you think you deserve it?"

Bucky gaped at Wilson, stunned by the question. There had been times when the guilt had made him want to die, but he had never asked himself if he deserved to. It was difficult to grasp the idea that he might not be responsible for his actions when he could remember it all in gut wrenching detail, but he had never really had a choice. It didn't seem right that he should be punished.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "But I don't want to die."

Wilson was silent for a moment. He leaned his head back, rubbing his neck. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to sign off on you rejoining the team." He looked at Bucky and added, "Provisionally. I will take you back off if I think you're getting crazy."

"Fair enough," Bucky agreed.

"Great, let's go see if breakfast is ready."

Bucky felt a weight lift from his shoulders as they headed up. He still had a lot to sort out but it seemed like he was finally moving forward again.

 

* * *

 

Natasha clutched her robe tighter as she sat on the patio. It was cold, but she enjoyed the solitude too much to let it drive her inside. With so many people in the house, this was often the only time she had to herself. She took a breath to let the cold air clear her mind, but her thoughts kept drifting back to the Bahamas.

_Natasha stumbled a bit as she walked down the hall to Bucky's room. She could still taste the scotch on his breath. She had been putting on a show but she had never expected him to act on it. Unscrewing the cap of the mini bottle, she sucked the vodka down in one swallow. She tossed the bottle away as the burn hit her stomach and knocked on the door. She ran through what she wanted to say in her head, but her mind went blank when Bucky answer the door in nothing but a pair of shorts that barely skimmed the tops of his muscular thighs. Drawing on all her training, she forced herself to look him in the eye._

" _We should talk about what happened earlier."_

" _Yeah, come in." He stepped aside for her to enter, closing the door behind them. They stood there in awkward silence for a moment each waiting for the other to speak._

" _It was much better this time," Natasha blurted out. "You were much more relaxed." She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, trying not to look at his naked chest._

" _I'm sorry," he mumbled, his gaze dropping to the floor. "We were talking about kissing and I just got caught up, in," he trailed off. "I'm sorry."_

" _Well it's not all your fault. I did tell you to surprise me," she reminded him, taking a step towards him._

_Bucky lifted his head, watching her carefully. "Didn't think I actually could."_

" _Neither did I," Natasha replied, taking another step forward until she was almost close enough to feel the heat of his breath. He didn't move back but he seemed to be gauging her reaction. He looked at her with those sharp blue eyes and her resistance broke. In one smooth motion her arms were around his neck and her legs were wrapped around his hips. She felt his arms wrap around her as he carried her to the bed, and set her down with an eager kiss. With trembling fingers he ran his right hand up the inside of her thigh, caressing the spot between her legs. She dug her fingernails into his arm as he fondled her with strong gentle fingers, drawing a helpless whimper from her lips. He tried to slip his fingers underneath the elastic but he couldn't get a hold of them. Grunting in frustration, he grabbed the waistband in his left hand and ripped them off with a snap. He looked at her, a hint of fear in his eyes, but she just smiled, quivering with excitement._

_Sliding the hem of her skirt up to her waist, he leaned in between her thighs, kissing her softly. She moaned as he moved his tongue in gentle circles, arching her hips into his mouth. She reached down to twine her fingers in his long hair, writhing as his tongue dragged against her. She clenched her fist tightly in his hair and he swirled his tongue around the tender bud, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. She screamed, arching her back as she reached her breaking point. Bucky looked at her, admiring his work with a cocky grin._

_Natasha threw him to the bed and climbed on top, pinning his hands to the sheets. She had fantasized about this moment for months and she wasn't going to let it stop there. She felt his erection press against her through the slick fabric of his shorts as she leaned down to kiss him. Bucky freed a hand and reached up to pull the tie of her dress loose. The top fell down, uncovering her breasts. He stared at her for a moment, licking his lips timidly before reaching up to cup one in his right hand. She moaned softly, grinding her hips firmly against his as he squeezed gently. She rocked against him in a steady rhythm, digging her fingernails into his chest. Bucky propped himself up on his left arm and placed a soft kiss on her breast. She wound her fingers in his hair and arched into his mouth as his tongue lazily circled her nipple._

_Gasping as she ground against him, he put his right hand on the small of her back and thrust his hips against hers, his eyes filled with a feverish passion. The foreplay was over. Natasha tightened her grip on his hair, grinding furiously against him, the silky texture of his shorts sending a shudder through her. Suddenly, Bucky cried out, his metal hand clutching the bedspread tightly as he came. Natasha screamed, finishing with a few hard thrusts. Leaning on his arm to catch his breath, Bucky looked at her as though he had just awaken from a dream. Natasha suddenly felt naked. She fixed her top and climbed off to sit on the edge of the bed. Bewildered, Bucky looked at the damp spot on his shorts and then back at her.._

" _I should go," she said quietly, hurrying out of the room without another word._

Natasha sipped her cooling coffee. She didn't know what she had expected to happen when she went to his room, but she hadn't planned on that. When he joined them at the house, she had started teasing him to get a reaction, curious to peer deeper into the tangled, fractured mess of his mind. As the mystery began to unravel, it grew into something more. She allowed herself the small pleasure of an innocent flirtation. Distracted by his own worries, Bucky hadn't even noticed. She had enjoyed acting out her fantasies in Havana, but that evening at the gala there had been something different about him. At first she thought it was part of the act, but in Bimini it was clear that something had changed. She had imagined that moment so many times but she had never expected it to happen. Half drunk and enchanted by the beauty of their surroundings, she had let herself slip. By the time she realized her mistake, the damage was done. There was no denying it now, but she had to get control of herself before it went any further.

The door opened and Bucky came out to the patio. "Breakfast is ready."

"About time," she said, stealing a glance at him. His robe was undone, revealing the chiseled muscles of his chest. She let her gaze linger for a moment, remembering the feel of those powerful arms around her. "What did she make?"

He shrugged. "Something Sokovian that took way too long. For being up half the night she was pretty chipper when she came down."

"Nice to see her happy for once, even if we do have to wait for breakfast," Natasha remarked, following him inside. She refilled her coffee and sat down at the table while Bucky helped Wanda with the food. They sat down at the other end of the table. As Natasha reached for the fruit salad, her phone beeped. A split second later, Steve's sounded too.

"You get the same alert?" he asked, scrolling through the message.

"Yep." Natasha went to retrieve her tablet from the living room and sat back down to examine the report.

"What's up?" Wilson asked, looking over her shoulder.

"We have a mission," Steve told them.

"Not sure you're using the word 'we' correctly," Sharon muttered.

"Fine, you have a mission," Steve grumbled.

Smirking, Natasha finished scrolling through the mission details. "Ok, according to SHIELD, someone is planning to steal something from a train." She frowned. "They're a little spotty on the details, but the train is coming through Baltimore so they asked if we could keep it safe."

"You're not going to throw me off this time, are you?" Bucky asked jokingly.

"Please don't," Scott pleaded. "I just gave the arm a tune up."

"Are you back on active duty?" Natasha asked, unable to keep a faint note of anxiety from slipping into her voice.

"Oh yeah, he's good to go," Sam confirmed, scanning over the mission intel. "You know, this actually looks pretty easy. If you want to take him. I'll hang back with Scott and Wanda in case we get another call."

"Sam's right," Steve agreed. "It's four days camped out in a freight car. Two people should be fine."

"Bucky did a lot last time," Natasha argued desperately. "Maybe Wanda would be a better choice."

Sam shook his head. "You need some muscle. I think you want Barnes." He turned to Wanda. "No offense."

"None taken," she assured him. "I wasn't really looking forward to that."

Natasha felt her stomach churn. It made sense from a tactical standpoint and there was no way out of it without telling everyone what had happened. She would just have to be on her guard. "I guess that settles it," she said reluctantly. "The train comes through Baltimore at 8 pm tonight. We'll jump on and wait it out."

Bucky glanced at her anxiously and went to refill his coffee. Natasha sat back to eat her breakfast. It was likely the last warm meal she would get for a few days and she was going to need her strength for this.

 

* * *

 

A cold wind blew through the trees as Bucky and Natasha waited in the tall grass near the tracks. Bucky cursed Wilson for approving him for duty. With no information about when or where the theft might occur, they would likely be waiting around for days in a confined space. Bucky didn't know which possibility he was dreading more, four days of Natasha making frivolous small talk to avoid the subject, or four days of awkward silence. He should have said something about Bimini. Finally they heard the train in the distance. Bucky adjusted the strap of his backpack while Natasha got in a crouch.

"Ok, it's the fourteenth car," she reminded him. We'll climb up and go in through the top hatch."

"Can you try not to throw me out this time?" Bucky muttered.

"I can try," Natasha said evasively.

The train rolled past them with a heavy clack. After about ten cars had passed, Natasha started running. She grabbed the ladder and climbed up to the roof. Bucky ran alongside the train until she reached the top before climbing up after her. She was waiting for him by the hatch, gun drawn. Bucky forced the hatch open and she leaned inside to look. A moment later she flipped her legs in and dropped to the floor. Bucky tossed their bags down and followed, closing the hatch behind him. After a quick look around, Natasha holstered her gun.

"All clear."

Bucky nodded. "So what exactly is it we're protecting?" he asked, looking around the car.

Natasha walked down the narrow aisle, scanning numbers on the sides of containers. In a corner they found a small rectangular crate covered by a tarp. Natasha pulled it back and compared the tracking number to the information on her phone. Bucky pried open the crate to find a metal case inside

"Whatever's in there," she said.

"What do you think it is?" Bucky asked, tapping the crate with his metal hand to fasten the lid.

"Whatever it is, someone wants it who shouldn't have it. That's enough for me."

Natasha set the proximity alarms while Bucky laid out his sleeping bag. She secured one by each door and another by the hatch, then went to set up her own sleeping bag.

"Think we'll have to wait long?" Bucky asked.

"Probably not." She looked at him. "As cold as it is, we should probably put these together."

A flutter of panic ran through Bucky's chest. "Why?"

"It'll be warmer," she explained.

Bucky's heart raced, but he couldn't argue with her logic. He tossed his sleeping bag over by hers. Natasha opened them and zipped them together. She crawled in and patted the space beside her. He cautiously slid in next to her, trying not to picture her half naked as she snuggled up against his chest.

"So, should we tell ghost stories or something?" she asked.

"We should get some rest," Bucky insisted. Natasha huffed disappointedly, but laid her head down on her arm. Bucky closed his eyes. He didn't know what she was playing at, but right now they needed to stay focused and get through the mission. He would figure it out when they got home. He settled his head on his arm and drifted into a fitful sleep.

 

* * *

 

Bucky opened his eyes, startled awake by the noise of the train. He lay still, trying to get his bearings. Something heavy lay on his chest. He reached down to investigate, his hand resting on something soft and springy. He squeezed it, realizing his mistake as Natasha moaned softly. He quickly snatched his hand away and sat up. He tried not to think about the feel of her breast, but a memory of the Bahamas flashed through his head. He shifted, but that did nothing to ease his discomfort. Slipping out of the sleeping bag, he tucked it around Natasha and tip-toed to the other side of the car. Bracing himself against a stack of pallets with his back to her, he unzipped his jeans and took a hold of himself with his right hand. He stroked himself slowly, biting his lip to stifle a moan as he thought about that night.

Sex had been the furthest thing from his mind since his escape. Even in the early days, when most of his thoughts were little more than reflex and base instinct, that one had been curiously absent. It wasn't until Havana that he had begun to feel those things again. He realized it went back further than that, but he had always mistaken those feelings for something else. Even now he still couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. Natasha wasn't the sort of woman he would have pursued when he was younger, but he felt drawn to her. She understood him in a way that most people couldn't, and she had been one of the first to start treating him like a person again instead of a beaten dog or an invalid. She didn't pity him or fear him like the others sometimes did. Around her, he felt human again for the first time in years. It was frightening and overwhelming, but in a way that excited him. But then she would pull back and act like nothing had happened, leaving him adrift and confused.

Bucky's metal hand clenched tightly, crushing the edge of the pallet as he came. He fixed his clothes and turned to look at Natasha's sleeping form. He hoped the thieves made their move soon. The quicker this was over, the better.

 

* * *

 

Natasha quickly closed her eyes as Bucky returned. She kept her breathing deep and even as he lay down with his back to her. When she was certain he was asleep, she moved closer, curling up against him. As cold as it was, he wouldn't question it. She draped an arm around him, breathing in the scent of sweat and machine oil. There was something between them, she couldn't ignore that, but the timing couldn't have been worse. He was only just starting to move forward again after the trauma of the last couple of months and she couldn't put this on him now. She knew better than anyone what it took to come to terms with the sort of horrors he had been through. It wasn't fair, it never was, but he wasn't ready for this and it was on her to draw the line.

She combed her fingers gently through his hair. A few more days wouldn't hurt anything. When this was over, she would talk to him, but she didn't want to give up her fantasy just yet.

 

* * *

 

Bucky sat on top of the train, watching as the sun rose over the horizon. It was freezing but he had woken up with Natasha's arm curled around his waist. Part of him had wanted to stay there with her head resting on his chest, but it was too confusing to be near her. Touch was a strange thing for him these days. For the last seventy years touch had been either clinical or punitive. He had come to fear it, or at least mistrust it. He hated feeling that way, but it was hard to forget the pain. He knew it hadn't always been that way, but the memories were still elusive. He could remember small moments, his mother putting a hand on his forehead, holding his sister in his arms at a parade, hugging Steve excitedly when the Dodgers hit a homerun in the bottom of the ninth. He missed that connection, but the Winter Soldier was always lurking just under the surface, ready to strike.

The situation with Natasha had only confused things further. That night in Bimini had been like a dream, but waking up had been frightening. Nothing had happened, but he had seen how quickly things could change. It was unsettling how easily he had let instinct take over, but he didn't want to shut himself off from those feelings anymore. He couldn't ignore the attraction between them any longer, he just wished he could tell what she felt for him. As long as there was the slightest glimmer of hope he would never be able to forget her. As the sun finally slipped above the horizon, he climbed down and found Natasha digging in her bag.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked.

"You tripped the proximity alarm coming down but I was already awake. What were you doing up there?"

Bucky shrugged. "Just watching the sunrise. What's for breakfast?"

"Granola bars and iced coffee."

She handed him a couple of cans and a box. He popped open the can and took a sip. After spending an hour on the roof, he could have used something hot, but the taste of it was still satisfying. He gulped down the first can and opened one of the granola bars.

"What do you want to do today?" Natasha asked, sipping her coffee slowly.

Bucky looked around the cramped car. "We should probably spar and get a feel for the terrain."

"Good idea," she agreed around a mouthful of granola.

They finished their breakfast and moved their things aside to make room. They took turns infiltrating through the vent and defending the target. It was tight, but they were both skilled at adapting to their environment. After a few hours Bucky felt confident that they could effectively repel an attack.

"Ready to stop?" he asked.

Natasha shook her head. "No, we need to get as much practice in here as we can. We'll only get one shot at this."

"Can we take a quick break at least?" he asked. "We won't be able to fight anyone if we're exhausted."

"Fine, thirty minutes, she agreed.

Bucky opened his bag to get a bottle of water, his damp hair falling in his face as he bent over. He held it back with one hand while he searched through the bag with the other.

"Here let me do something about that." Natasha reached over to comb Bucky's hair back from his face. Bucky felt a tingle in his neck and jerked away, catching her wrist in his right hand.

"Why do you do that?" he asked.

"Your hair's in your face, I was going to tie it back," she said pulling her hand away gently. Her tone was light, but her posture was rigid and defensive.

"No, I mean why do you keep touching me like that?" he growled.

"If it bothers you I'll stop," she said flippantly.

"I didn't say it bothered me, I asked why you do it," he demanded, grabbing her arm.

Startled, Natasha swept his leg and threw him to the ground. He held tight to her arm and pulled her down on top of him. He stared at her for a moment, her face inches away from his. He let go and dropped his hand to her hip. For a moment, she seemed to lean into his touch and his mind flashed back to the warm breeze and the feel of her soft lips. He inched his fingers down, but she suddenly climbed off and jumped to her feet.

"Actually you're right. That's enough for now," Natasha said quickly, putting on her coat. "I'm going up to cool off."

Scowling, Bucky watched Natasha intently as she climbed through the hatch onto the roof. He would never make it through three more days of this. Before they left this train he was going to get the truth out of her.

 

* * *

 

When Natasha returned, Bucky was playing Solitaire. He ignored her, keeping his attention on the game. Natasha got a book out of her bag and went to the other side of the car. She figured it would be wise to give him some space after what had happened. She settled down in the corner and tried to read, but her mind kept drifting back to their sparring match. She hadn't even been trying to flirt with him, just fix his hair. She would have to be careful for the rest of the mission. It was obvious that he was losing his patience, but this wasn't the time to discuss it. They still had a mission and they couldn't afford to be distracted.

"Do you want to play cards?" Bucky asked suddenly.

Natasha put down her book, studying him carefully. "I don't want to interrupt your game."

"I'm tired of losing to myself," he muttered, shuffling the cards. "Do you know how to play poker?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"

"The guys in my unit stopped playing with me about 2 weeks into basic training because I kept taking their money," he bragged.

Natasha chuckled quietly. She had never pegged Bucky for a card sharp but she was intrigued. "What are we betting? I didn't bring any money."

"We could just play for fun," Bucky suggested.

She moved to sit across from him. "Cleaning duty?" 

"Do you know how to play truth or dare?" Bucky asked, setting the deck on the floor between them for her to cut.

Natasha considered the idea. She couldn't think of a good excuse to back out, but something about the look in his eye set her on edge. "What if I don't want to do it?"

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You can do that?

"What? No one ever backed out of a dare in the good old days?" Natasha asked.

"I was playing with Steve," Bucky reminded her.

"Fair point." Natasha muttered. She thought for a minute. "What if we toss in a little strip poker?"

Bucky paused. For a moment Natasha hoped that he might just forget the whole thing, but he grinned and dealt the hand.

"I don't mind if you don't," he said.

Natasha picked up her cards, shooting him a warning glare. If Bucky thought he could trick her she would remind him who he was dealing with. "Fine, let's do it your way."

Bucky won the first hand and dared Natasha to sing the Backstreet Boys song Sharon always played while she cleaned the kitchen. Natasha won the next hand and dared Bucky to take a selfie which he forced her to delete the next time he won. She did, but not before sending it to Wanda. The dares went back and forth for a few hands, but in the confined space with limited resources, they quickly ran out of ideas.

"Truth," Natasha said. He hadn't suggested this game just to make her sing and dance. He wanted something from her and the only way to stay out of the trap was to spring it.

"Who was your first kiss?" Bucky asked.

Natasha scooped up the cards to shuffle. "Her name was Oksana."

"Her?" Bucky looked at her, surprised.

"Not a lot of boys in the Red Room," she said with a coy smile as she dealt the next hand. Bucky won again. "Truth,"

"Did you really delete that picture of me from when we went to the mall?" he asked.

Natasha took off her coat without a word.

Bucky looked at her flatly. "You realize that answers my question."

Natasha just smirked and nonchalantly tossed the coat aside. Bucky dealt but she won the next hand. He started unlacing his boots before she could say anything.

"You don't even know what I was going to say," she objected.

"Pretty sure I don't want to answer it." Bucky muttered. He quickly won the next hand. "How many times have you been shot?"

"Just the two," she told him. She took the next hand. "Did they have condoms back in the good old days."

Bucky swiped off his hat and threw it at her. "Just ask your damn phone."

Natasha laughed and dealt. The game continued until Bucky was left with just his pants and Natasha was down to her underwear. Natasha studied Bucky carefully as she put her hand together. He hadn't been exaggerating about his skill at the game. Of course neither of them was going to fold, but he wasn't giving any indication as to what sort of hand he had. She traded out another card, hoping it would be enough. If she lost now she was going to have to start answering questions, which was exactly what he wanted. They laid down their cards and Bucky took the round. Natasha waited. She had fallen into his trap and she would have to be careful.

"Why did you come to my room that night?" he asked.

She tried to think of an excuse that he might believe. She had hoped he might just write it off as too much vodka but there was no way around it now. Reluctantly, she reached for the strap of her bra but Bucky grabbed her hand.

"Answer the damn question," he demanded through clenched teeth.

"I'd had a lot to drink and I wasn't thinking clearly," she replied stiffly, reaching for the cards.

Bucky grabbed them and hurled them against the wall. "For once would you give me a straight answer!" he shouted. "Just tell me what the hell you want from me!"

Natasha swallowed a pang of guilt. She had been so concerned with controlling her own feelings that she hadn't considered how unreliable his mind was. He must have been going crazy, half thinking he had imagined the whole thing.

"I just wanted to talk, but you were standing there practically naked and I slipped." She looked at him, curious to see how his poker face held up. "I never should have let that happen, but the truth is, I've been fascinated with you ever since you shot me near Odessa. I'd given up on actually finding you, and when I did, you weren't what I expected. The last few months, I've been trying to tell myself it's just a silly crush, but it's more than that," she admitted haltingly. Bucky looked at her in stunned silence as she continued. "I wasn't going to do anything about it, but then you did. I'm sorry I was avoiding you, but I didn't trust myself not to let it happen again."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Bucky asked nervously.

"You have enough to worry about without me adding to it," she insisted.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Bucky asked.

Natasha shook her head. "It's not that simple. After what you've been through, I feel like I'd be taking advantage of you. You're not in a good place for this."

"I'm never going to be," Bucky argued. "All the stuff that they did to me, that I did, I'm never going to get over it, but I'm tired of that being all there is to my life." Bucky gripped her hand tightly. "If you tell me to stop, I will. But I don't want to and I don't think you do either."

He leaned in to kiss her. She let him, running her fingers through his long hair. She wanted this so badly. She had given him every chance to run away, yet here he was with his lips pressed to hers. It was irresponsible and selfish, but just this once, she wanted to follow her heart instead of her orders. She stripped off her bra, tossing it carelessly on the floor. Bucky put a trembling hand on her breast and looked at her for a moment, unsure what to do. With a playful grin, Natasha reached down to undo the button of his jeans and slide the zipper down. He was already hard. He groaned loudly as she stroked him. She felt him twitch beneath her fingers and almost as quickly as it had started, he was done. He stared at her for a moment, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly.

She put a finger to his lips. "Don't be. I'm sure you can think of something to do while you catch your breath."

Bucky smirked and leaned forward to kiss her breast. She gasped as he flicked his tongue at a stiff nipple. He leaned in to kiss her neck, sliding her underwear off with his right hand. With his left, he reached between her legs, the cold metal caressing her as gently as flesh. She shivered as he pressed a cold finger inside of her. Weaving her fingers in his hair, she pulled him into a kiss, pressing her body to him. He was already hard again. She didn't bother to hide a smile. She should have known he would recover quickly.

Pushing him back to the floor, she strippped off his jeans and climbed on top of him. She'd had enough of the foreplay. She wanted to feel him, wanted him to make her scream and beg for release. He rolled over so that he was on top, kissing her neck gently as he pushed inside her. She dug her heels into his butt to pull him in deeper, moaning as he started to move, gently at first, but then with increasing vigor. She arched her hips, rising to meet him with each thrust. She dug her nails into his back as he drove into her harder, faster, pushing her over the edge. A moment later, she felt him tense up as he reached his own climax. Panting for breath, they collapsed onto the cold floor. She lay there for a moment, stroking his hair until she felt the chill of the air again. Reluctantly, she pushed him off to reach for her clothes

"Wait, we're done?" Bucky asked, disappointed.

She kissed him and pulled her bra over her head. "We still have a mission."

"Right," he muttered, pulling on his jeans.

She leaned in to whisper in his ear. "But when we get home, I'll show you a few things they've invented in the last few decades."

Bucky smirked. "Whatever you think you invented, I can promise you I already tried it with some French broad."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a deep kiss. For a moment she considered going back on what she had said, but the proximity alarm sounded. Before they could reach their weapons, the hatch opened and a grenade dropped in, exploding in a blinding flash. Disoriented and unable to see, Natasha felt around for her gun as she heard boots drop onto the floor.

"On your knees, hands on your head!" A man yelled. Her ears were still ringing but there was something familiar about the voice.

"What the fuck?" another man said under his breath.

"I said hands on your head!" the man yelled again.

As her vision began to clear, Natasha saw five men in combat gear aiming guns at them. Dazed, half naked, and outnumbered they had no choice but to comply. If they hadn't been shot already, their best option was to stall for time and wait for an opening. Natasha squinted at the men. She didn't recognize the other four but the leader was Jack Rollins. Rollins looked at them, clearly as surprised as they were.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Freezing to death. Can I at least put my shirt back on?" Natasha asked.

"Either of you even blinks, I'm blowing your heads off," Rollins warned.

"We should just shoot them," one of the others said.

"Do you know what that is?" Rollins asked him in a hushed tone, pointing to Bucky. "He's going to want it brought in undamaged."

Natasha glanced at Bucky. He was shaking, his eyes a mix of terror and rage. "Does he know?" she whispered. Bucky nodded.

"What about her?" another man asked.

"Worry about him first," Rollins ordered.

Bucky glared at them. "You're not taking me alive."

Rollins drew a knife. "Unless you want me to gut her like a fish while you watch, you're going to do exactly what I say." He turned to Natasha. "And if you try anything, I'm going to shoot both of you."

Natasha scanned the car. She would never get the trigger phrase out quickly enough. She might be able to use the kill code, but that would leave Bucky defenseless and she wasn't sure she could take all five of them out before someone managed to get a shot off.

"I'm sorry," she said. Bucky nodded, closing his eyes.

" _Longing, Rusted, Seventeen,-"_ Bucky screamed, clutching his head, as Rollins rattled off the code. " _-Daybreak, Nine, Benign,-"_ Natasha looked away. There was nothing she could do at the moment without getting them both killed. " _-Homecoming, One, Freight Car."_ The screaming stopped and Buckys face went blank.

" _Soldier?"_ Rollins asked cautiously.

" _Ready to comply."_ Bucky droned mechanically.

"Stand up," Rollins ordered. He handed Bucky the knife. "Kill her. Slowly."

Natasha leapt to her feet as Bucky took the knife and turned toward her. "Bucky, listen to me," she pleaded, backing up toward her bag. "Don't let them make you do this. Fight it. You're stronger than this."

Bucky lunged and grabbed her by the throat with his metal hand, plunging the knife toward her chest.

"Stop!" Rollins barked.

Bucky let the knife fall to his side and loosened his grip on her throat. A bead of blood appeared on Natasha's shoulder where the point had broken the skin. She looked at Bucky, shaking. She had to think of something quick. If she let them take him, she might never find him again.

"Alright, he's under control," Rollins said. "Get the package."

"What do you want with it?" Natasha asked as two of the men pried open the crate and removed the metal case.

"Oh no, I remember how you work. I'm not telling you shit." Rollins spat at her feet. "On second thought, Soldier, kill her."

Bucky raised the knife again, but suddenly whirled around and threw it at the man by the door. The force of the throw drove it deep into his throat. Before the knife found it's target, Bucky was on the move. He knocked out the two men holding the box. Natasha grabbed a gun from one of them and shot the fourth man. She turned to fire at Rollins but he had his gun aimed at Bucky.

"Whichever one of us you shoot, the other is going to kill you." Bucky warned him.

Rollins fired at Natasha but Bucky grabbed her, blocking the shot with his left arm. Natasha returned fire as Rollins ran for cover. She reached down to get her bag.

"Bucky! Grab the box!" She yelled. Rollins fired a few shots as she ran for the door, but his gun jammed.

Bucky grabbed the case and followed Natasha to the door. "Oh god not again!"

"Sorry!" she shouted, shoving him out of the train. She jumped out after him, falling into the river below. She swam to shore, keeping her eyes peeled for Bucky As she neared the shallows, she saw him lying in the water with the box beside him.

"Bucky!" she cried as she ran towards him, the freezing water splashing around her.

He groaned, rubbing his back. "Every damn time we're on a train, you-"

Natasha knelt down beside him wrapping her arms around him tightly. "I thought they had you."

"I did too for a minute," Bucky said softly, smoothing her wet hair.

"What happened?"

"He missed a word," Bucky told her. "I thought it would be safer if I played along."

She kissed him softly. "Are you ok?"

"I don't think I'll sleep well for a few days, but yeah, I'm ok."

"We should get moving," she said. "If they have a back up team we'll want to be as far away as possible. I'll call for an extraction."

She helped Bucky to his feet. He picked up the box and followed her along the bank.

 

* * *

 

The terrain leveled out about a mile downstream. They walked away from the river for a few minutes and found a place to hide near a clearing. Bucky cleared a place for them to sit while Natasha rummaged through her bag.

"Sorry if I scared you back there," he said softly.

"No, it was smart," she replied, keeping her attention on the bag. Bucky knelt down beside her.

"Natasha," he said gently. "If we're going to do this, then you need to talk to me. I'm not a mind reader. I barely know what I'm thinking sometimes."

Natasha's hand tightened on the bag. "Why did you kiss me in Bimini?"

He stroked her arm lightly, feeling the goosebumps on her cold skin. "When we were in Havana, it was like some part of me woke up. There's someone I used to be before the war, before HYDRA, and until you I didn't know that part of me still existed."

Natasha frowned. "Is that all it is?"

"What do you mean is that all?" Bucky asked.

"Am I just a reflection of a memory or do you actually want me?" she pressed.

Bucky paused to collect his thoughts, trying to think how to explain it. "It's like Sleeping Beauty. I feel like I've been under some sort of spell. Then you came along and woke me up. I do want you, I just didn't realize it until then."

"I was scared," she said quietly without looking up. "It seems like every time I get close to something it slips away from me."

Bucky gently put his arms around her. He had been scared to lose her too. There was no promise he could make to ease her mind, but he wasn't going to back out now. "It's been a long time since I've done this. You're going to have to be patient with me."

Natasha put her arms around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Can we keep this between us for a while?"

Bucky laughed. "We can try. Remember we live with a woman who can read minds."

Natasha stroked his cheek and kissed him softly. He put a hand on her hip, tracing his fingers slowly along the curve of her waist. He found a blemish on her smooth skin, the bullet scar. He no longer flinched when he felt it. It was a mark of her strength, a reminder that she had survived him before. Maybe she was strong enough to handle him now. He bent down to kiss the other one as a jet roared into the clearing.

Natasha's phone dinged. "It's SHIELD."

They gathered up their things and headed toward the jet, concealing themselves behind a tree. The hatch opened and two women came out.

"Romanoff?" one of them called.

"May! We're over here." Natasha called back, stepping out into view. Bucky looked at the two agents. They were both small and slender, but they moved like experienced fighters.

"We weren't expecting to hear from you for days. What happened?" Agent May asked.

"That trouble you were expecting showed up early," Natasha explained. "This is Bucky Barnes, by the way."

The older woman nodded. "I'm Agent May, this is Agent Johnson."

"What happened to your clothes?" Agent Johnson asked with an amused smile.

Natasha grinned at Bucky. "Long story."

"Well it's a long flight," Agent Johnson quipped as they headed into the jet. Agent May settled into the pilot's seat while Agent Johnson found a set of clothes for each of them. Bucky went to the small lavatory to change his pants. He came back out and took the seat beside Natasha. Agent Johnson was securing the box in the storage compartment.

"We'll drop you a few blocks out," Agent May said. "You ok to walk?"

"That'll be fine," Natasha said, rubbing her feet.

"So why didn't you just do this to begin with?" Bucky asked, pulling the sweatshirt over his head.

"Well it's not exactly ours," Agent Johnson confessed. "We needed to take possession of it for various totally legitimate reasons."

Bucky looked at the box. "What's in there anyway?"

"Terragen crystals," Agent May answered.

Bucky frowned. "What?"

"It's how Inhumans get their powers," Agent Johnson explained. "This batch is harmless to regular humans but it's better if we just get rid of them."

Bucky nodded, happy to let this one slide. He put an arm around Natasha and pulled her close as the jet sped toward Baltimore.

 

* * *

 

Scott finished the last of the repairs on the jamming device and switched off the soldering iron. He set the device carefully in a box and leaned back, rubbing his eyes. It was ready to be installed whenever Bucky returned, but right now he needed some sleep. Yawning, he switched off the light and headed upstairs. Voices drifted down the hallway from the foyer. Instinct kicked in and he crept quietly toward the end of the hallway to investigate. Bucky and Natasha were standing by the door, but something about their body language made him stay back in the shadows.

"I need a long hot shower," Bucky groaned rubbing his neck.

"Mind if I join you?" Natasha purred, slipping an arm around his waist.

Bucky turned to kiss her. "Even better."

Scott stood in the hallway watching in stunned silence as they hurried upstairs.

**-End-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading! Again, I'm sorry about the delay. Please review and let me know what you think! As difficult as this chapter was, I'd really like to know what you thought.


	24. Hiatus Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This fic is on hiatus until mid August. Details below.

I'm sorry for the lack of updates recently. I know some of you are probably worried this will die but I promise you I will finish.

That said, I am placing this fic on an official hiatus until August. I've been having some personal issues recently and while I love this story, it takes a lot of energy and focus. I need a break so that I can give you the best possible ending. I also want to wait until Spider-Man comes out. The avengers will feature prominently in the next arc and I want to see what they do with Tony and Peter before I continue.

I also have a couple of very elaborate Cosplay projects that need my attention right now so I just won’t have the time to devote to this during the months of June and early July. I might be writing something that is sort of a backstory to one of my cosplays, so look for that if you need a vintage Stucky fix. After the big con push I'll be back at my writing and hopefully have something for you by mid august.

Thank you all for following this story so far! 


	25. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Natasha struggle to keep their relationship a secret as they confront some problems.

_ The Soldier waited in the dark room.  He knew what was coming. He had disobeyed orders and killed a handler. The man had died slowly, choking on his own blood. He couldn't explain why he had done it.  The mission was a blur.  A newspaper, a headline he couldn’t remember, a man in blue white and red. It was almost familiar.  He had struck out, not knowing why, only knowing he had to fight, to run. _

 

_ Outside the door he heard voices. Rumlow and two others he didn’t recognize. _

 

_ “This the new guy?” Rumlow asked. _

 

_ “Jack Rollins,” one of the voices said. _

 

_ “Anyone tell you how you got this job?” Rumlow asked. _

 

_ “Something about an accident,” Rollins replied. _

 

_ “We still don’t know what set him off, but Myers ended up in a body bag with a crushed windpipe,” Rumlow explained. “You gotta be careful with this guy.  Don’t get too close and don’t try to take him on alone, but don’t kill him either, he’s worth more to HYDRA than you are.” _

 

_ The door opened and Rumlow came in with the new recruit. There were others with them but he kept his attention on those two.  One of the men drew an electrified baton and lunged toward him. He dodged, grabbing the man's arm and thrusting a metal palm into his face. He felt the bone shatter.  The man fell to the floor as Rumlow and Rollins circled around. _

 

_ “That’s gonna cost you.” Rumlow warned.  _

 

_ The soldier snarled, baring his teeth at them.  Rumlow picked up the electric baton and rushed in, catching him in the stomach. Before he could recover, Rollins zapped him in the collarbone, the jolt jarring his teeth as it bit into his skin. He dropped to a knee.  Someone kicked him in the ribs with a steel toed boot. He gasped for breath, but another electric baton was jabbed into the back of his neck. Slumping to the ground, he curled into a tight ball as they continued to beat him. Finally a kick to the jaw brought the sweet release of unconsciousness. _

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha listened carefully as the house slowly drifted off to sleep.  She heard the boards creak as everyone retreated to their beds.  Across the room, Wanda’s breathing fell into a deep, steady rhythm. She would probably wake up later, but it would give Natasha a window to slip out unnoticed.  Silently, she crawled out of bed and tiptoed across the hall to Bucky’s room.  Light gleamed through the cracks of the door.  She knocked once to alert him before slipping inside.  He smiled at her and set his journal aside as she sat down on the bed.

 

“Hey,” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss her.

 

“Hey yourself, were you waiting for me?”

 

“Ever since dinner,” he said, stroking her arm.  “Do you always eat carrots like that?”

 

“I wanted to be sure you were thinking about me,” she purred, studying him carefully.  A week into their relationship she still couldn’t predict how he might react sometimes. It was almost like dating two men.  Sometimes he was innocent and tender, almost nervous around her.  Other times he approached her with a raw, instinctive passion.  Would she get Bucky Barnes or the Winter Soldier tonight?

 

She straddled his hips and placed a soft, teasing kiss on his lips.  He had shaved earlier and her fingers slid over the smooth skin.  He slipped his hand underneath the hem of her shirt and up her back, pulling her to him, in a deep hungry kiss.  The Winter Soldier it was. 

 

She pulled back just long enough to slip his shirt over his head and leaned in, biting his neck gently.  He flinched.  For a split second she mistook it for a pleasurable shudder.  Before she realized her mistake, his metal hand was on her neck.  He threw her down on the bed, fist clenched tightly around her throat.  

 

“Bucky!” she gasped, trying in vain to pry open his fingers. She saw no hint of recognition in his eyes, only the raw instinct of the Winter Soldier.  She punched him in the stomach just hard enough to loosen his grip.  With a jolt, he released his grip.  Coughing, she fought the urge to back away.  Any show of fear would only make things worse.  For a moment she had forgotten what he was. The Winter Soldier was still in there.  Not the feared assassin, but the broken, beaten animal who had learned to fear every touch and mistrust every kind word that reached his ears.  

 

“Bucky, it’s me,” she said softly

 

She reached out toward him, careful not to touch him too soon.  He knew her, she could tell that from the horror in his eyes.  Slowly, he reached out to touch her hand, tears in his eyes.  She drew her hand back up his arm to his shoulder and over to his neck.  He allowed it, a tear rolling down his cheek.  She ran her fingers through his long hair and pulled him to her.  Haltingly, he slipped his arms around her.  She felt the tension ease just slightly as he buried his chin in the crook of her neck.

 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in a shaky voice.

 

“Shhh.”  She stroked his hair as warm tears fell on her skin.  Three men.  There was a man between the smiling boy from Brooklyn and the mechanical assassin, a confused adolescent still trying to find himself.  Not Steve’s friend, not HYDRA’s weapon.  This was her Bucky.

 

She held him until the tears stopped.  Bucky leaned back, his thumb rubbing the scar on her abdomen.  

 

“You're safe here with me,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss him, but she could feel him holding back.  He went to retrieve his shirt from the floor.

 

“I'm going to get a snack,” he muttered.  “I’ll see you in the morning?”

 

Natasha watched him carefully. “I could wait here.” 

 

“Someone will notice,” he warned her, avoiding her gaze.  “Steve has a bad habit of checking on me.”

 

Natasha reached out and took his hand. “Bucky, if I couldn’t handle this, I would have put a stop to it already.”  

 

He sat back down on the bed and ran his hand up her arm to brush the scar on her shoulder.  “Would you?”

 

She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead.  “It’ll be ok, I promise. But if you’d rather just call it a night, I understand.”

 

Bucky nodded.  “I’ll walk you back to your room.”

 

Natasha took his hand and let him escort her back to her bed.  It was frustrating, but she knew better than to push him.  She had learned long ago that you had to let a beaten dog come to you.

 

* * *

 

 

Wanda set her glass in the sink and headed back upstairs as she read Vision’s text.

 

... _ Mr Stark seems to be taking the idea of establishing a team dynamic seriously. I'm sure he will lose interest but I’m optimistic that Col. Rhodes and Ms. Van Dyne will maintain whatever progress we make. I do miss the old team though.  _

 

_ Me too,”  _ Wanda replied, “ _ but I like it here. _

 

There was a brief pause from Vision.  _ Do you mind if I ask your opinion of Sergeant Barnes?  I don’t mean to offend, but I am concerned that his mental state might put you in danger. _

 

Wanda tapped her nails on the screen, trying to think of how to respond.   _ We’ve had some problems,  _ she admitted,  _ but he’s getting better. And if something does happen, I can stop him.  Most of the time he’s a big teddy bear. _

 

_ ….I’m not sure I understand the reference. _

 

Wanda smirked.  She couldn’t resist the urge to tease him a bit.  _ He’s soft and cuddly. _

 

_....I see.  _

 

Wanda grinned.   _ LOL Vision, are you jealous? ;P _

 

_ No, but … Perhaps a little. _

 

She stifled a giggle, wishing she could have seen his face.   _ He’s like a brother, _ she explained. _  With Pietro gone, I missed that.   _

 

_ Then I’m glad that you have him, but please be careful.  I would hate to see anything happen to you. _

 

Wanda paused at the top of the stairs as Bucky’s door opened.  She took a step back into the shadows as Natasha came out of the room.  Bucky followed and walked her across the hall.  She kissed him on the cheek and slipped back inside.  He turned to go downstairs but stopped as his eyes adjusted to the darkness.  Putting a finger to his lips, he waved her back down to the kitchen. He went to the refrigerator for a glass of milk and took the cookies out of the cabinet.  

 

“How long have you known?” he asked. 

 

“I figured it out when you two were dancing in the basement,” Wanda admitted.

 

“I didn't even know then!” Bucky exclaimed. 

 

Wanda kissed him on the cheek. “I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.  I didn’t know you’d decided to do something about it.”

 

Bucky put an arm around her shoulder and sipped his milk. 

 

“It’s still confusing,” he confessed.  “It’s been a while and she’s not like anyone I’ve ever been with.  I went out with a lot of girls when I was younger, but she’s different.  I can’t even really say what it is about her.”

 

“She sees you the way you want to see yourself,” Wanda said, her fingers brushing the phone.  

 

Bucky looked at her uncertainly, but she could tell that she was right.  Natasha saw something in him that he wanted to be, not an old friend,  or a deadly assassin, or a victim of a horrible experiment.  He was something else to her, something he aspired to be.

 

“That’s what you see in Vision, isn’t it?”

 

“Well, he’s also kind, and smart, and adorably naive.” She looked at her hands as a faint red glow appeared. “I’m not a monster to him.”

 

Bucky kissed her on the forehead. “You're not a monster to me either.”

 

Wanda hugged him tightly. She couldn't tell why but she could sense that he needed it.  “Just remember I had you first.”

 

Bucky wrapped his arms tightly around her. “Yeah, you're still my best girl.” He held her for a moment and turned back to his milk. “Do you really think I should be doing this?”

 

“You're worried about hurting her,” Wanda realized. 

 

“I thought I was ok, but the train stirred some things up,” he said.  “You’ve seen what can happen.”

 

“It worries me,” she admitted, “but there’s so much more to you than that.”

 

“I just wonder if there’s enough good left to make it worth the trouble.”

 

“She thinks so.”  Wanda kissed him on the cheek.  “I’m going back to bed.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

“Goodnight.”

 

As Wanda headed up the stairs, her phone buzzed.  She remembered that she hadn't responded to Vision.

 

_ Wanda?  Are you still there? _

 

_ Sorry, I ran into Bucky, you’re never going to believe this! _

 

* * *

 

 

Sam sat at the table drinking his coffee. It was one of those rare mornings when he was the first one up. The silence was odd, but peaceful. He scanned through the headlines for anything that might cause trouble, but it had been quiet lately.  From his experience, that usually meant something big was coming, but for now he would enjoy the lull.

 

He flipped to the sports section to check the NFL scores as Natasha came downstairs and poured a cup of coffee.  Barnes followed a moment later.  Neither of them looked well rested.

 

“Morning,” Sam said.  

 

“Morning,” Natasha greeted him in a rough voice. Barnes looked at her with concern.

 

“I’m fine,” she insisted quietly.

 

“No you’re not.” He brushed her hair to the side.  Sam caught a glimpse of some angry looking bruises on her throat.

 

“Let me see.”  He set down his tablet and went to take a look.  Barnes stepped aside, but Natasha clutched her robe closed.

 

“I’m fine,” she insisted in a raspy voice, sounding more embarrassed than anything.

 

“You're not,” Barnes argued. “Let him check you over. Please?”

 

Natasha grudgingly opened up her robe to let him look.

 

“Lift your chin.”  Sam instructed. He examined the bruising, pressing a few spots on her neck. The bruising was minor, but the marks resembled a hand. “Any difficulty breathing, vomiting, nausea, coughing up blood?”

 

Natasha shook her head to all of those.  Barnes breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Doesn't look too serious,” Sam said.  “Ice, painkillers, stick to soft foods for a couple of days and try not to talk a lot.”

 

Natasha nodded.  Barnes rubbed his forehead, an anguished look on his face.  

 

“How did it happen?” Sam asked, although he suspected he already knew the answer.

 

“Sparring accident,” Natasha rasped.  

 

“I’m asking him,” Sam cut her off, taking an ice pack out of the freezer. “You need to try not to talk.”

 

“Sparring accident,” Barnes echoed.

 

Sam wrapped the ice pack in a towel and handed it to Natasha.  “Uh-huh, two things.  First, I was in the training room with Scott last night and you guys weren’t there.  Second, my room is right next to Barnes’.”

 

Sam chuckled as the two of them recoiled at the realization that they had been caught.  Barnes had the good grace to blush while Natasha was busy analyzing the scenario in her head.

 

“Hey, I think you guys are cute together, just lay off the kinky sex.”

 

“It was not kinky,” Barnes snapped.  Natasha smirked and took her coffee to the patio.

 

Barnes turned back to Sam.  “It was not kinky.”

 

Sam raised an eyebrow.  “So wait, that wasn’t on purpose?”

 

Barnes face twisted in horror.  “Why would I do that on purpose?”

 

“Ok, you and I need to talk, now,” Sam said firmly, pointing to the den.

 

Barnes poured a cup of coffee and followed him into the den without argument.  “Does everyone know?” he asked.

 

“Hey man, it's a small house.”

 

Barnes sat down on the couch. “She was hoping to keep it between us for a bit.”

 

“Yeah, well, with your history that's not an option,” Sam told him. “This opens up a lot of things you haven’t dealt with before.”

 

“It wasn't my first time if that's what you're thinking,” Barnes bragged.

 

“But she's the first since you escaped?”  Sam pressed. Barnes nodded. “Is this just sex or are you two a thing.”

 

“I don't know,” he said quietly.  “It’s all kind of strange.”  

 

Sam sipped his coffee, caught off guard by the fear in Barnes’ voice.  There was no trace of sarcasm or bravado. He was worried.  “How did it start?”

 

Barnes clenched his mug tightly.  “I’ve felt this way for a while, but I didn’t really know what it was at first.  I think I almost had it sorted out at one point but things kept getting in the way.  In Havana when we pretended to be married, it triggered some memories from before the war.  Dating, dancing that sort of thing.  We were dancing I just had this overwhelming desire to kiss her. I would have, but the mission got in the way. Then in Bimini when you all left, it just happened.  We both stood up to get a drink and she was so close. I don’t know why, but I went for it.  I think that would have been the end of it but she came to my room that night and one thing led to another. We both acted like nothing had happened until the train mission.”

 

Sam tapped his fingers on his mug.  “How do you feel about her?”

 

Barnes thought for a moment. “She sees me the way I want to be.” He looked down at his mug. “I'm worried she might not be seeing a few things.”

 

Sam paused, taking a breath to calm himself before he asked the next question.  Seeing Natasha’s injuries was unsettling, but losing his temper with Barnes wouldn’t help get to the root of the issue. 

 

“What happened with her throat?”

 

“She bit me,” Barnes pulled his collar aside to show a mark at the base of his neck. “I panicked.” 

 

There were tears in Barnes eyes.  Sam could hear the shame in his voice. He knew how easily he could have killed her and it frightened him. 

 

“What was going through your head?” Sam asked.

 

“I don’t even know, nothing, everything,” he moaned, his voice cracking slightly.  “One minute it felt great, then I felt her teeth on my neck and every reflex was telling me to get away, to get her off me,” his voice faltered, “neutralize the threat.”

 

“And then?” Sam asked softly.

 

“It only lasted a moment.”  Barnes buried his head in his hands.  “God, I could have killed her.”

 

“Yes, you could have,” Sam acknowledged.  “You also didn’t, but are you sure you want to continue this?” 

 

Barnes paused for a moment.  “Yes,” he said finally. “I know that’s selfish, but I don’t want to cut myself off from the world anymore just because something might happen. ”

 

Sam nodded.  He was worried, but it was encouraging to see Barnes trying to rebuild some semblance of a life.  

 

“You know I didn't mean for it to happen.”

 

“I do,” Sam assured him.  “But you have a choice.  Either stop this, or find a way to make sure this doesn’t happen again.  It’s not always bad to be selfish, but you two do need to sit down and have a serious conversation about boundaries.”

 

“It's not the first time she's done that,” Barnes told him, a hint of confusion in his voice, “it's just the first time I reacted like that.”

 

“There's no simple answer here, but you need to think really hard about what might trigger a reaction and make sure she knows it. I’m going to say BDSM is off the table.”  Barnes looked at him, puzzled.  “Do not google that!” Sam said quickly.

 

“I swear half the time I don't know what you people are saying,” Barnes muttered.

 

Sam sighed. “Some people get turned on by things like being tied up or whipped or,” He trailed off.  Barnes had the same horrified expression as before. Sam shook his head. “Look if you haven’t figured out the internet by now, just don’t.  What was going on before she came in?” he asked, trying to redirect the conversation.

 

Barnes flexed his artificial hand.  “I had a nightmare about HYDRA.” 

 

“So you mistook it for a threat when she bit you and fought back.”

 

“I guess,” Barnes whispered.

 

Sam leaned forward. “That's not your fault.” He told Barnes. “There wasn't any way to predict that you'd react like that. From now on though, if something's going to happen, I want you to take a minute and think about how you’re feeling. If you’re upset about something, like a nightmare, you need to tell her so she knows to be careful.”

 

Barnes just nodded, tears glistening in his eyes.

 

“Does Steve know?”

 

Barnes shook his head.  “Not yet.”

 

“I wouldn't wait too long, but I think we’re good for now. “Just think about what I said.”

 

“I will.” Barnes promised. 

 

He took his coffee and left. Sam slumped back in his chair. For a moment he considered telling Steve himself, but this was Barnes’ secret to tell.  All the same, he planned to keep a close eye on the situation.

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha sipped her coffee.  Her throat hurt more than she had let on, but she didn't want to worry Bucky. It wasn’t the first time she had received a similar injury, it wasn’t even the first time Bucky had done it, but it frightened her how fast it had happened.  Thinking back, he had seemed a little on edge but she had put it down to the late hour. She would have to be more vigilant in the future.

 

Bucky came out to the patio with a bowl of oatmeal and an ice pack. “You know it’s November, right?”

 

She smiled and sipped her coffee.

 

“I made you breakfast.”  He set the oatmeal down and helped her adjust the icepack before taking a seat beside her.  “We need to talk.” 

 

She started to speak, but he cut her off with a look. “I need to talk and you need to rest.”

 

Natasha nodded and sat back, pressing the ice pack to her throat. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I probably should have put a stop to this but I just got carried away.  Everything’s been so confusing since I escaped.  When I kissed you, I didn’t really understand what I was feeling.”

 

“I didn’t take your virginity did I?” Natasha rasped.

 

Bucky laughed.  “No, a secretary in the SSR did that.”  He looked at her uncertainly.  “Was it that bad?”

 

Natasha shook her head, patting his shoulder to reassure him.

 

“I was so caught up in what I wanted, I didn’t stop to consider if it was a good idea.” He looked at her throat.   “Maybe we should think about this before we go any further.”

 

Natasha readjusted the icepack. “I have thought about this. For months. I know it's risky, but I've let that get in the way too many times.”

 

A smile crept over his face. He'd been expecting her to end it right there, but that wasn't what he wanted.

 

“We do need to talk about some ground rules.”  He leaned over and kissed her.  It was a soft kiss, playful and unapologetic.  Back to the Brooklyn boy this morning.

 

“Oh my god!”  

 

Bucky pulled away and Natasha looked to see Sharon standing in the doorway, coffee in one hand with the other over her mouth.

 

“Well that’s everyone but Steve,” Bucky groaned.

 

“What happened to your-?”  She shook her head.  “Never mind, I don’t want to hear about your kinky choke sex.”

 

“We were not doing that!” Bucky growled, storming back into the house.”

 

Sharon sighed and sat down in the other chair, sipping her coffee.  “I’m guessing you don’t want me to tell Steve.” 

 

“For now,” Natasha said.  She didn’t want him to find out until Bucky had settled down a bit.  After last night, Steve might be able to persuade him to break it off.  She didn’t want to lose him over this.

 

Sharon sipped her coffee quietly for a moment. “So how is he in bed?”

* * *

 

 

Bucky went back out as Sharon came in from the patio.  Scott, Wanda, and Sam were in the kitchen.

 

“Did everyone know but me?” she asked. 

 

Sam looked at Wanda. 

 

“I can read minds,” she reminded them.  “And I caught them on the stairs last night.”

 

“Before or after midnight? Scott asked.

 

Wanda frowned. “What?”

 

“Sam and I had a bet,” he told her.  

 

“2AM,” Wanda replied,

 

“Damn it,” Sam grumbled. “That's two for you.”

 

Sharon frowned. “Is it just me or does this seem like an insanely bad idea?” 

 

“It’s just a harmless little wager,” Scott argued.

 

“I meant them!” Sharon clarified.  “We need to trick Steve into finding out soon.”

 

“You know Steve hates it when you do stuff like that,” Sam reminded her.

 

Sharon ignored him. “They asked us not to tell, so that means we have to get them caught.”

 

“You guys want in on the pool?” Scott offered. “We’re betting food prep slots.”

 

Sharon shrugged. “Yeah sure, why not?”

 

“Do you ever think that some of our team building activities are morally ambiguous?” Wanda asked doubtfully.

 

“We’re fugitives,” Scott reminded her. “Morality is a bit relative.”

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha held the bag as Bucky hit it with careful strikes. After the other night he was determined to work on his control. His reflexes had kept him alive, but in the heat of the moment it was difficult for him to distinguish true danger from irrational panic. They had talked about it, but since then Bucky had been reluctant to do anything more than kiss her. She had given him a couple of days to settle down but she was worried that if they couldn't work through this soon, he would end it.

 

He struck the bag a final time and stepped back. “You want a turn?”

 

Natasha shook her head.

 

“Do you want to take a break?” He asked. She nodded.

 

Bucky stripped off his damp shirt and wiped off the sweat. He took a fresh one out of the dryer and started to put it on, but Natasha slipped her arms around his waist. She felt him tense up.

 

“You know someone could walk in any minute,” he cautioned.

 

“I'll risk it.” She kissed his shoulder. He froze. Natasha stepped back and pulled him around to face her.  “Ok, circling back to earlier.  I know that whole macho, 1940’s, bottle up your feelings thing is hard to shake, but you have to talk to me. I can't read minds.”

 

Bucky sighed, leaning back against the dryer. “I want to, I do.” His eyes fell on her throat. “I just don't know if this is worth it.” 

 

Natasha reached down and took his hand. “I can wait as long as you need to.”

 

“Thank you.” Bucky leaned in to kiss her as heavy footsteps came down the stairs. He stepped back and pulled on his shirt as Steve came into the basement.

 

“Hey, we’re watching a movie if you two are done.”

 

“We’ll be there in a minute,” Bucky told him. Steve gave him a thumbs up and retreated back upstairs. 

 

“Should have made my move while he was still bedridden,” Natasha muttered.

 

She followed Bucky upstairs.  The others had already chosen their seats.  The only two left were on the end of the couch side by side.  Natasha raised an eyebrow curiously but shook her head and went to the kitchen to get a drink.  She took out couple of sodas and return to the living room to find Wanda curled up against him with her head on his shoulder.  Shooting a quick glare at Wanda, she sat down and handed Bucky his drink.

 

“What are we watching?”  she asked.

 

“The Graduate,” Steve told them.  “Sharon says it’s a classic and I’ve never seen it.”

 

Natasha felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

 

“What’s it about?” Bucky asked, blissfully unaware.

 

“It’s about a guy who spends the summer after graduating college mooching off of his parents while he has a secret affair with a married woman,” Scott explained, nonchalantly.

 

Bucky raised an eyebrow, popping the tab on the can.  “Who picked that?”

 

“Sam’s idea,” Steve mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn.

 

Natasha glared at Sam and settled back as he hit play.  He smirked as the movie started. 

 

Natasha leaned on the arm of the sofa away from Bucky.  She tried to pay attention, but something felt off about the whole situation. On the other side Wanda was making a show of cuddling with Bucky.  Sam kept glancing at them as though trying to gauge their reaction.  Steve was engrossed in the movie, but she felt as though this whole thing had been staged for his benefit.  As the movie reached the halfway point, Natasha grabbed the popcorn bowl and stood up.  Something was going on.  She just needed a minute to figure it out.

 

“I’m going to make some more.” She nudged Bucky with her foot.  

 

“I’m getting a drink,” he said.  “Anyone else?”

 

Everyone shook their heads.  Bucky followed her to the kitchen.  She threw the bag of popcorn in the microwave and turned to him.

 

“Is it just me or are they acting weirder than usual?” she whispered. 

 

Bucky shrugged. “That's just Scott.”

 

“No, they’ve been weird ever since they found out,” she realized, thinking back over the last few days.  “Did you say Steve came to check on you yesterday morning?”

 

Bucky frowned. “What are you getting at?”

 

Suddenly it dawned on her. “They're trying to trap us.”

 

“Figures,” Bucky muttered. “Maybe I should just tell him.”

 

Natasha shook her head.  “We’ve talked about this.  You know what he’ll say, and I don't want him butting in until we settle this.”

 

“Fine, we’ll do it your way,” Bucky acquiesced. “You’re the one he’s going to be mad at anyway.”

 

“Eh, I was overdue,” Natasha joked. She dumped the popcorn into the bowl and headed back to the living room

 

* * *

 

“Hey guys, Steve fell asleep,” Sharon said when Bucky and Natasha were safely in the kitchen.

 

Sam paused the movie to wait for the popcorn. “Well it was worth a shot.”

 

Wanda glanced back at them. “I think they’re onto us.”

 

Sharon watched Bucky and Natasha carefully.  Their voices were masked by the popping corn, but she could guess what they were saying.  Neither of them seemed very happy.  “Maybe we should just wait for Steve to find out.”

 

“Sleeping Beauty here is going to get suspicious if we keep asking him to go fetch them all the time,” Scott cautioned.

 

Sharon weighed their options.  Natasha was going to be upset, but the sooner Steve knew, the sooner things could get back to what passed for normal. “Do you have a better idea?”

 

Scott looked back at the kitchen to be sure they were still distracted. “LoJack Bucky.”

 

Sam glanced back at the kitchen. “Wait, you put a tracking device on Barnes?”

 

“Well not yet.”

 

Wanda gaped at him. “You want to put a tracking device on him just to win this stupid bet?”

 

“No.” Scott said.  “I want to put a tracking device on him because twice now we’ve run into somebody who knows that stupid code. What if that happens again and we can’t stop them? He could be taken and we’d have no way to know where he is. 

 

“Steve’s not going to like that,” Sharon said.

 

“Actually I cleared this with him after Prague.  He thought it was a great idea.”

 

“Natasha already put a tracker in his backpack,” Sam said. “I think putting one in the arm is a good idea.”   

“I don’t think he'll agree.” Wanda said.

 

“And we’re not telling him,” Sharon said. “Let's say he is captured. He can't tell what he doesn't know. 

 

“Let's circle back to Scott using a tracking device to win the bet.” Sam said

 

Scott shrugged. “I was going to share.  I just want to get this over with.  It was fun for a while, but keeping this from Steve is actually kind of stressful.”

 

“So let’s just tell him,” Sharon said.

 

“We promised we wouldn’t,” Sam reminded them.  “I say we do it.  They’re going to drop their guard outside the house, we just have to surprise them.”

 

Sharon heard the microwave beep and the popcorn being poured into a bowl.  “I hope you’re right about this.”

 

* * *

 

 

Scott made the final adjustments to the tracking device while he waited for Bucky.  He had asked Steve to get him a few minutes ago, but there hadn’t been any yelling.  He shrank the beacon and placed it in a tray so he could find it later and sat back to wait.   A minute later, Bucky came down the stairs, glaring darkly at him.

 

“You lost.”

 

Scott shrugged. “Yeah, I wasn’t holding my breath, but my hour was almost up.”

 

“That's your excuse?” Bucky growled.

 

“Look, we appreciate that you want to keep it quiet but it's a small house.  He’s going to figure it out.”

 

“Seems like everyone knew before I did anyway,” Bucky muttered, stripping off his shirt and taking a seat.

 

“I'm a thief,” Scott reminded him, popping off the shoulder plate. “I'm good at reading people.” 

 

He checked the jamming device and moved on to the rest of the maintenance series.  He watched Barnes carefully as he secured the tracking device to a wire in the back of his arm, but Barnes was lost in thought.

 

“You know, if you need some advice I do have a girlfriend and an ex wife,” he offered.

 

Bucky rolled his eyes. “No offense, but that doesn’t exactly make you an expert.”

 

“Exactly,” Scott pointed out, oiling the elbow joint.  “I've made every mistake possible so I can tell you what won't work.”

 

“I never used to need advice,” Bucky said. “I used to be good at this, but with Natasha I just don't know what I'm doing.”

 

“Just take it slow.  As long as it took you two to get together I don't think you're going to run her off that easily.”

 

Bucky tapped his right hand nervously. “You think so?”

 

“Natasha doesn’t strike me as the type to jump in without weighing the consequences. If anything she probably over analyzes things.  You'll be ok.”

 

Scott replaced the last panel and gave the arm a quick rub down.  Bucky ran a hand over the arm.

 

“Thanks.” He paused. “I've dated a lot of girls but I've never actually been in a relationship.”

 

Scott patted him on the shoulder.  “Let’s grab a beer and compare notes.”

 

Bucky laughed.  “Your funeral.  My technique is a little dated.”

 

Scott took a couple of beers out of the refrigerator and handed one to Bucky.  “I literally could not be in more trouble.  Maybe some old fashioned romance is the way to go.  Get back to basics.”

 

Bucky smiled wistfully and sipped his beer.  “Maybe so.”

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky sat in his room reading through his latest journal entry.  The dream had been no different from any other, and if not for what happened with Natasha, he probably would have forgotten it already.  He felt a surge of anger and hurled the journal across the room.  Even here, safe and surrounded by friends, HYDRA still managed to steal his life away.  Every time he touched Natasha, he remembered his hand around her throat.  This was why he had gone back into stasis after Siberia.  The fear of hurting someone again was worse than any nightmare.

 

Bucky leaned back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling.  Natasha was willing to wait for him, he knew that, but he didn’t know how long that would take.  Everything between them had happened so fast.  It had been a week from the time he had realized his feelings to their first time together.  No girl had ever let him move that quickly if she was planning to stick around the next day.  He thought back to his conversation with Scott.  Dating had changed, but he had always enjoyed that slow, innocent phase.  No worries, no pressure, just two people enjoying each other’s company.

 

He sat up.  Maybe there was something he could do.  He put on his fake glasses and pulled his hair back, then went to find Natasha.  He found her in the living room reading a book while Wanda sat in the other seat playing on her phone.  Wilson and Scott were playing a video game on their laptops.

 

“What are you all dressed up for?” Natasha asked, setting the book down.

 

“Going for a walk if you want to join me.”

 

Natasha shrugged and went to get her shoes and coat.  Bucky waited, ignoring the poorly concealed grins from the others.  Natasha returned a moment later and they headed out into the dark streets.  

 

“So where are we going?”

 

“For a walk,” he repeated.

 

“So you dragged me out here for nothing?”

 

“Well I wouldn’t say nothing.” Bucky yawned and casually draped his arm around Natasha’s shoulders.  She looked at him, amused.

 

“Did anyone ever fall for that?”

 

“More often than you’d think,” he said.

 

Natasha snuggled in closer. “Contrary to popular belief, being Russian doesn’t make me immune to the cold.  What’s your play, Barnes?”

 

They came to a small park.  Bucky led her over to a bench and sat down, wrapping his arms around her.  “I was thinking about everything and we kind of rushed into this.  

 

“You are not backing out on me now,” Natasha warned.

 

“No!” Bucky said quickly.  He reached over to take her hand.  “It’s just everything happened all at once.  When I was younger I’d go out with a girl for weeks before she’d even let me kiss her.  I used to hate that, but I think it was good in a way.”

 

“I told you I’d wait as long as you needed me to,” Natasha repeated.  “I meant that.”

 

“I know,” he said, “but just waiting around isn’t going to solve anything.”

 

Natasha laid her head on his shoulder.  “When I first defected, I was afraid to be near anyone.  The first mission I went on with Clint, he woke me up and I kicked him in the face.”

 

Bucky couldn’t help laughing, but he could imagine Barton taking it in stride.  

 

“It passes,” she said, squeezing his hand.  

 

“It will,” he said, “but I think we need to go back and take things slow for a while.”

 

Natasha pulled his arm closer around her.  “You know when I was 16, I was assassinating politicians and infiltrating military bases.  I never got to do the teenage dating thing.”

 

“Never?”

 

“Well I went out with the son of a Ukrainian General a few times, but only because I was trying to get invited back to their house so I could break into his office.  What did you do back in your day?”

 

Bucky chuckled.  “It was all very proper.  You had to pick them up and the girl’s father would always sit there staring at you for 10 minutes while she finished whatever she was doing.”

 

Natasha laughed.  “So next time you ask me to go on a walk I should make you wait in the den with Sam?”

 

“Don’t you dare,” Bucky pleaded.  He leaned his head back to look at the sky.  “Then I’d take her out to dinner and then dancing or a movie.  If it was nice, we’d go for a walk in the park, but I always had them home by 11 and I was a perfect gentleman.”

 

Natasha snorted.  “You don’t kiss like a perfect gentleman.”

 

Bucky felt a sad smile creep over his face.  “After Austria, I figured I’d waited long enough.”

 

She kissed him softly.  “You have.  You deserve to be happy.  Whatever you need me to do to help you get there, I’ll do it.”

 

Bucky hugged her tightly.  “Just sit here with me for a while and look at the stars.”

 

“Ok,” she agreed.  “But you’re making me a cup of hot chocolate when we get home.”

 

* * *

 

 

The next night, Bucky lay face down on the floor of his room.  Natasha straddled his hips, firmly kneading the muscles of his back.  He had been content to neck on the sofa and hold hands, but she had suggested a more aggressive approach.  She said a massage would help him become more comfortable with physical contact and give him a chance to think through his reactions to physical discomfort. He had learned to equate pain with danger, and while that had kept him alive, it had almost gotten Natasha killed.  The idea was to help him learn that a little pain could be harmless, even good.  Then maybe next time, he would be less likely to react so violently if she misstepped.

 

She finished and climbed off to lay down beside him.  “How was that?”

 

“More relaxing that I expected,” Bucky said. He sat up and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.  

 

“You have a lot of tension.” She put a hand on his shoulder and kneaded it gently.  “Do you want to tell me what’s been bothering you?”

 

Bucky hesitated.  He didn’t want to think about it, but keeping it to himself wasn’t helping.  As Wilson had pointed out, the best way to avoid another incident was to talk to her.  He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them loosely. 

 

“If Rollins wasn’t incompetent, I might be back with Hydra right now.”

 

“No, we would have come after you,” Natasha assured him.

 

“If they’d had me for even a minute, they could’ve done a lot of damage.”

 

Natasha knelt in front of him and put her hands on his knees. “If they get you for even a minute, I’ll be the one doing a lot of damage to them.”

 

Bucky smiled and took her hand. “What do you say we get out of here?”

 

She kissed him. “Sounds good.”

 

She helped him put on the photostatic glove and they headed downstairs. Wilson was in the kitchen looking through the cabinets.

 

“Where are you guys off to?” he asked.

 

“The movies,” Natasha told him, heading for the door before he could ask anymore questions.

 

“So where are we really going?” Bucky asked when they were safely away.

 

Natasha thought for a moment. “Did they have bowling back in your day.”

 

“Yes, we had bowling,” he remembered. “And I’m pretty sure I can beat you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Scott watched the tracker on his phone.  The dot finally settled on a location. “They're at the bowling alley,” he told them.

 

“Maybe we should just leave them alone,” Wanda suggested.  “I feel like they need some time to themselves.”

 

“We’ll give them an hour,” Sharon said.  “After everyone knows they can have all the time they want, but we need to hurry this up or we’ll lose our shot.  We can only try this a few times before they get suspicious.”

 

“So what’s the plan?” Sam asked.

 

Scott thought for a moment.  “Probably best to keep it small.  Sharon, why don’t you take Steve.  I’m sure he’ll jump at the chance to get out of the house.  We’ll call you if they move.

 

“Fine,” she agreed.  “But you get to force feed him his pain meds tomorrow when he starts bitching that his side hurts.”

 

“Just crush them up in his oatmeal with some butter and brown sugar,”  Scott told her. “That’s what I do for Cassie”

 

“Well you could have suggested that a month ago.” Sharon scowled at him and went to get her shoes.  

 

Scott just rolled his eyes and turned back to his phone.  “Seriously, amateur hour.”

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha sat on Bucky’s lap as she put in their names for the next game.

 

“So, what if I call you Bucky Bear?”

 

“If you do that I’m calling you Goldilocks.”

 

“Doesn’t make any sense.” She thought for a moment.  “What would our couple name be?”

 

Bucky looked at her.  “What the hell is a couple name?”

 

“It’s a new trend with celebrities.  You mix the names together.  Like Brad and Angelina are Brangelina.  So what would we be?”

 

Bucky frowned for a minute. “Nucky, Butasha?”

 

Natasha cringed. “Those sound like weird porn genres.”

 

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “They do?”

 

Natasha laughed and turned back to the computer.  She tapped her fingers on the screen for a minute before typing.

 

“WinterWidow?” Bucky asked.

 

Natasha shrugged. “Yeah, why not?  Winter Soldier, Black Widow.”

 

“Well it's better than Nucky,” he muttered.  He slid her off his lap and went to pick up a ball.

 

“Oh hey, I thought you guys were at the movies.”

 

Natasha turned around to see Steve and Sharon approaching, bowling shoes in hand.

 

“We saw what was playing and changed our minds,” she said.  It had been close, but judging from Sharon’s face, they had separated just in time. “Are you sure you’re up to this?” 

 

“It’s just a 15 pound ball,” Steve said.

 

“Yeah, and a month ago you couldn’t lift a 15 ounce pork loin,” Bucky reminded him.

 

Steve smirked.  “Afraid I’ll beat you.”

 

Bucky scoffed.  “Hell no.  In fact, we were just about to start a new game if you want to join us.”

 

“Sure, why not.” Steve agreed, sitting down next to Bucky.  “We haven’t been bowling together since before the War.  I think I can actually take you now.”

 

“Don’t count on it, Punk.” Bucky challenged him.

 

“Great,” Natasha said. “You put in the names. Sharon and I are going to the restroom.”  She grabbed Sharon and dragged her away to the bathroom.

 

“WinterWidow, is that your couple name?”  Sharon asked. “Because I was trying to think of one and it all sounds like really kinky porn.”

 

Natasha turned and glared at her.  “What the hell, Carter?”

 

“This was Scott’s idea.” Sharon argued.

 

“You didn't have to go along with it.”

 

“Look, I appreciate that you want to keep this quiet but trust me, the sooner he finds out the better.”

 

“And I'll tell him when things settle down!”  Natasha snapped. “But if we tell him now, Bucky is going to get scared and call this off.”

 

“Do you really think he’s that skittish ?”

 

“I don’t want to find out,” Natasha pleaded.  “I just want to enjoy it for a minute before it falls apart.”

 

Sharon sighed.  “If you told him, we could all just relax and have a nice double date together.”

 

Natasha glared at her.

 

“Ok, I’ll get everyone to back off, but honestly I think they might surprise you if you gave them a chance.”

 

“I’m not ready to gamble on that just yet.” Natasha told her.  She turned to leave, but paused.  “How did you know we were here?”

 

“Scott put a tracker in Bucky’s arm.”

 

“Smart. I tagged his backpack but the arm is probably better.”

 

They went back to their lane.  Steve and Bucky were enjoying themselves. She was tempted to confess and get everything out in the open. She let herself imagine for a moment that it wouldn't turn into an argument and that they could just continue on like this. 

 

She shook her head. “I'm going for a beer. Anyone else?”

 

Bucky looked at her glumly. “Might as well get a pitcher.”

 

“Sounds good. Get me one too,” Steve joked.

 

Natasha sighed and headed for the bar, trying to decide if she wanted to order a few shots while she was there or stay sober and crush Sharon and Steve in the next game.

 

* * *

 

 

Sharon shuffled her grip on the grocery bags and kicked open the door.  “Hello?”

 

Bucky came down the hall and took a handful of bags.  “Anymore out in the car?”

 

“No, I got it all.”  They carried them to the kitchen and started to unpack.  “Where is everyone?”

 

Bucky opened the cabinet to put up the cans. “Scott and Wilson ran out to Radio Shack, Steve’s taking a nap, and Natasha’s in the basement with Wanda. Got tired of her staring at her phone.”

 

“When did she turn into such a teenager?” Sharon asked, putting the milk in the fridge. “And for that matter, when did you turn into such a teenager?”

 

“1930,” Bucky replied.  

 

“Fair enough.”

 

“So what’s the bet?” he asked.

 

“Food prep,” Sharon told him.  “If we time it right we can have Scott off cooking duty until Thanksgiving.”

 

“Well that wouldn’t be terrible,” Bucky conceded. He paused, and turned to lean against the counter.  “Do you think I'm in over my head here?”

 

“Probably, but in some weird way you’re kind of perfect together,” Sharon said, folding up the shopping bags.  “I know you’re freaked out about what happened, but if she hasn’t cut you off, then you owe it to her to give it a fair shot.  She hasn’t had many of those.”

 

Bucky nodded and turned to finish putting up the canned goods.  Natasha came up from the basement with Wanda.

 

“Did you remember the Cheez-its?”

 

“Two boxes,” Sharon told her.

 

“I'm going to take a shower.” She went over and kissed Bucky.  “Did you make the reservation?”

 

“7:30,” he replied, turning back to close the cabinet.

 

Natasha glanced at his butt. “Wear those pants.” She winked at him and headed upstairs.

 

Sharon looked at Wanda. “Were Steve and I this annoying?”

 

Wanda scoffed and opened the refrigerator to get a cheese stick. “Worse.”

 

* * *

 

 

The alert jolted Steve out of his nap. He grunted as he reached for his phone.  Three games of bowling had been harder on his ribs than he expected, although he had probably gone overboard trying to beat Natasha after the first game.  He rubbed his face and read the message. The situation wasn’t anything difficult, but they needed to move.  Holding his side he got out of bed and headed down. Sharon was in the kitchen chopping vegetables.

 

“Where is everyone,” he asked. “We have a mission.”

 

“There you go again with that we thing,” she said, scooping the vegetables into a Tupperware bowl. 

 

“I’m fine,” he insisted.

 

She smirked at him skeptically. “So if I hug you, you’re not going to scream again.”

 

“I didn't scream,” he muttered.  “It was cry of dismay.”

 

“No,” she said firmly.

 

“Come on,” he pleaded. “I’ve been cooped up in the house for weeks.”

 

“Let him come, he can man the jet,” Sam suggested.

 

Sharon chewed her lip for a moment. “Ok, fine.” She looked at him sternly.  “But you stay on the jet. You are not cleared for duty.”

 

“Ok, fine,” Steve agreed. At least it would get him out of the house.  “Where's Natasha?”

 

“She went up to shower,” Sam told him.  “You get her, I’ll get Scott and Wanda.”

 

Steve hurried up to Natasha’s room. No one was there but he heard voices coming from Bucky’s room. He opened the door.  Bucky sat on the bed with Natasha was straddling his lap in her underwear.  The two were locked in a deep kiss.

 

“Bucky?!”

 

Bucky and Natasha turned to look at him, frozen to the spot.  Downstairs he heard Sam cursing.

 

“Before you say anything,” Natasha began.

 

Sam rushed in. “Hey guys we have a mission so this maybe isn't the time.”

 

Natasha jumped up and went for her phone as Sam dragged Steve into the hall and closed the door.

 

“Did you know about this?” Steve demanded.  

 

Sam held up his hands. “Doctor patient confidentiality.”

 

Steve hurried back down to the kitchen.  Sharon was still calmly packing up dinner. “I just caught Bucky making out.”

 

“Yes!” Scott cried triumphantly.  Steve looked at him.  Scott started edging toward the door. “I mean, that's great for them. I'm going to go pack.”

 

Steve turned back to Sharon as Scott hurried out of the room.  “How long has it been going on?”

 

“Havana,” she admitted.

 

“HAVANA!”  Steve cried.  “That was almost three weeks ago!”

 

Natasha came down with Bucky. “We need to get going.  This one is a bit time sensitive.  Out the door in five minutes.”

 

Sharon took Steve’s arm.  “We can talk about this later,” she said in a low voice.

 

Steve huffed and hurried upstairs to change.

 

* * *

 

Steve set down the jet  near the target zone.  He ran through the landing sequence and settled in to wait as Natasha briefed the team.  They others headed out, but Sharon hung back for a moment.

 

“Remember you are not to leave this jet unless someone is literally bleeding to death,” she repeated.

 

“I heard you the first dozen times,” Steve grumbled.

 

“Since you're going to sit here brooding over Bucky and Natasha, I just wanted to remind you that they're both adults and they don't need your permission.” She kissed him on the cheek. “But I'm sure they would like your blessing. So just think about that while we’re gone.”

 

She ran out to join the team.  Steve closed the hatch and reclined his chair.  He turned on some music and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.  Thinking back over the last few days, everything started to fall into place.  Everyone had been trying to trick him into finding out, but he was still a bit irritated that all of this had somehow happened right under his nose and he hadn’t noticed.  He had been neglecting his relationship with Bucky a bit while he was recovering but it still hurt that they had kept it from him.  He probably wouldn't have been much help, but it made him sad to think that they had drifted apart much.  

 

Bucky needed that freedom, but the idea of letting go terrified him.  Bucky had watched out for him all those years as kids and it was Steve's turn to take care of him.  He had come a long way, but he didn’t always have a clear head when it came to personal things.  Steve wanted both of them to be happy, but there was so much that could go wrong.  He wondered if Bucky had ever felt this way.  He had pulled Steve out of so many scrapes when they were younger.  Steve had to  wonder if Bucky had ever just wanted to tie him up and throw him in a closet to keep him out of trouble.

 

Before long the team returned, exhausted but unscathed.  Sharon briefed him on the mission, but after that the ride home was quiet. The tension was palpable.  Bucky and Natasha were waiting for him to speak and everyone else was watching to see what would happen.  Steve was grateful when they finally landed.  Everyone hurried to gather their things, probably realizing that he was waiting for them to leave.

 

“I need to talk to Natasha for a minute,” Steve announced.  “You guys go on home.”

 

Sharon shot him a parting glance before following the others to the car. Bucky lingered for a moment flashing Natasha an encouraging smile before he left.

 

Natasha turned to him.  “So let’s just assume that we’ve both had this conversation a hundred times in our head already and skip the boring part.”

 

“Oh no, the boring part is what I want to talk about.” He closed the hatch to make sure no one was listening.  “What were you thinking, Nat?  He’s in no condition to date someone right now.”

 

“That's what I tried to tell him,” Natasha cut in.  “But he insisted he was fine.  He’s not a child Steve.  You treat him like one sometimes, but he can make his own decisions.”

 

“I'm not just worried about him,” Steve confessed. “He’s been fine lately but we've seen how quickly that can change.  What happens if he catches you off guard?”

 

“I can handle it,” she insisted, coughing slightly.

 

Steve frowned, examining her suit closely. “Why is your collar zipped all the way up?”

 

She shrugged. “It’s November.”

 

Steve crossed his arms. “Natasha.”

 

“Don’t freak out.  I handled it.” She sighed and unzipped it to reveal a faded bruise on her neck in the shape of a hand. 

 

Steve groaned, sinking into a seat. “I thought you had a cold!  What the hell happened.”

 

“He caught me off guard,” she admitted.  “But we talked about it and it’s fine now.”

 

Steve took a breath to calm the churning sensation in his gut. “You know what it would do to him if something happened to you.”

 

“I know,” she said. “We’re working on it.” 

 

Steve rubbed his neck.  He didn’t know how to feel about this.  “What is it about him?”  he asked.  “He’s my friend, but he’s a mess.”

 

“He's smart, he's funny, he's a great dancer,” Natasha took a deep breath.  “And I’m kind of a mess too.  He gets that.  I love you and Clint but there are things you just can't understand.  Bucky can.  He makes me feel things that I thought I had shut myself off to.” She smiled sadly. “I don’t feel so alone when I’m with him.”

 

Steve felt a pang of sympathy as he looked at her.  He might not understand all of her past, but he understood feeling alone.  Until he met Peggy, he had almost given up hope that he would find someone who truly understood him. “Just be careful. I don't want to see either one of you get hurt.”

 

“Is that all there is to this?” Natasha probed. 

 

Steve shook his head.  “I haven’t been around much lately and it seems like he’s been fine without me.  It’s a good thing, I guess.  He’s made friends, Wanda, you, Scott, even Sam in some weird way, but all of this was going on and I’m the last person anyone wanted to tell.  There’s a part of me that’s worried that if he doesn’t need me, I’m going to lose him again.”

 

“He still needs you Steve.  We all do.”  Natasha sat down beside him and hugged him. “And for the record, he wanted to tell you a week ago.  I asked him not to.”

 

Steve winced as he reached his arms around her.  “Take care of him, ok?”

 

She squeezed him gently and went to open the hatch. “We should get back, I’m starving. Do you want to drive?”

 

“Can you?” Steve asked reluctantly. “ I think bowling aggravated my rib.”

 

Natasha smirked. “Don't worry I won't tell Sharon.”

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky sat in his room doing a crossword puzzle. He had been relieved when Steve wanted to talk to Natasha first.  He felt like she had a better chance of bringing Steve around than he did, but he was still nervous.  

 

He heard the front door close and footsteps coming up the stairs.  There was a knock on the door and a moment later Steve entered.

 

“This is my bed now.  If you pissed off Sharon, you'll have to sleep on the floor,” Bucky joked.

 

To his relief, Steve laughed. “You know Sam asked me if you could move in with Scott so he could have his own room. He does have seniority.” 

 

He sat down on the edge of the bed.  Bucky closed up his journal.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Natasha.  I wanted to, but she was afraid you'd break us up.”  He studied the look on Steve’s face.  “She told you about the other night.”

 

Steve cracked his knuckles anxiously. “Be careful.  I’m happy for you two, but I don’t want to see you hurt.”

 

“I know,” Bucky said. “But if I shut myself out from the world just because I’m afraid of what might happen, it's no different than being back under HYDRA.  I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time. I feel like I'm seventeen again and I have my whole life in front of me.”

 

Steve smiled. “Well in the meantime, we had better come up with a double date idea or Sharon and Natasha will, and we’ll up at the ballet.”

 

Bucky grinned and clapped Steve on the shoulder.  “You know, I’m actually looking forward to double dating with you now that you’re not going to be such a wet blanket.”

 

“When was I ever a wet blanket?” Steve asked.  

 

Bucky scoffed and opened his bag to get his pre-war journal.

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha was setting the table when Bucky and Steve came down. Steve winked at her and went to go help Sharon with dinner

 

“You boys have a nice talk?” she asked.

 

“Yeah.” Bucky took the plates out of the china hutch and set them on the table.  “I just have to ask this one more time.  Are you sure about this?”

 

Natasha considered the question carefully as she started setting out the plates.  She had fought so hard for this, but something in his tone gave her pause.  As she ran a hand over the delicate porcelain of the plate a memory floated into her head.

 

~ _ You’ll break them.~ _

 

_ ~Only the breakable ones.  You are made of marble.~ _

 

She set down the plate and looked at Bucky.  If she was marble, he was iron, strong but brittle, broken and reforged more times than he could even remember.  When marble met iron, it yielded, but stayed strong.  It didn’t shatter, but rather was shaped into something beautiful. Iron could break, but it could also melt, lose its form and become something new. Natasha smiled.  If HYDRA could break Bucky Barnes, surely she could melt the Winter Soldier.  

 

“You won’t break me,” she promised softly.  “You can’t.”

 

He looked at her warily “Are you going to break me?”

 

“I might.” She leaned in to kiss him. “But I’ll put you back together.”

 

She turned back to finish setting out the plates.  He picked up the forks and followed around behind her.

 

“You know, I was thinking,” she said.  “Since it’s all out in the open, it doesn’t really matter where I sleep anymore.”

 

Bucky looked at her nervously. “I’m not ready for-”

 

She put a finger to his lips. “We don't have to do anything.” She kissed him.  “Just relax.  It’s going to be fine.”

 

Bucky smiled. “When you say it like that I almost believe it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Steve watched Bucky and Natasha from the kitchen.  She set down the spoon and slipped an arm around his waist.

 

“So not like you really have any say in this, but are you ok?” Sharon asked.

 

“He’s been here six months and this is the first time I’ve seen him smile like that,” Steve mused.  A song came on the radio.  Bucky set down the forks and took Natasha's hand. Steve turned back to Sharon and put his arm around her.  “So I was thinking Friday the four of us could all go to that little place on the water.”

 

“The fancy one with the shrimp?”

 

“No, the other fancy one with the stuffed mushrooms.”

 

She kissed him.  “I can’t wait.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ The Soldier felt his mind slide into focus as the handler finished the phrase. _

 

_ “Good Morning, Soldier.” _

 

_ “Ready to comply.” _

 

* * *

 

 

Bucky gasped as he snapped out of the nightmare. For a moment he lay still, trying to get his bearings.  He knew it had been a dream, but he couldn’t remember where he was now.  He felt something heavy on his chest and looked down to see a tangled mess of red hair.

 

Bucky relaxed as the world slipped back into focus.  He felt a strange sense of calm wash over him as Natasha yawned, running a hand through her hair.  Natasha lifted her head and smiled at him.  “Good Morning.”

 

“Morning.”

 

She reached down to take his hand. “Are you ok?”

 

“I had a nightmare,” Bucky told her.

 

“Do you want to tell me?”

 

Bucky shook his head, running his fingers through her hair.  “Doesn't matter,” he said softly. “It's over now.”

 

**-End-**   


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.  
> 
> The hiatus it over!  Thank you guys for your patience.  I know when an author goes dark, everyone starts to worry that they won’t be back, so I appreciate you trusting me enough to stick around.  I hope this was worth the wait.  I can’t guarantee that this will be updated quickly going forward, but rest assured I am actively working on it.  Thanks for reading!


	26. Sex Ed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Natasha try to move their relationship forward again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note about the timing of this story since I know it's been so drawn out, we're about six months in. I know that a lot has happened, but as far as Steve and Sharon's relationship, they've only been sleeping together for about 5 months, so they haven't gotten "creative" yet.

Bucky closed his eyes, trying to keep his breathing steady as Natasha ran her hands through his hair. Her light touch made his skin tingle, but it was soothing in a way. His mother had done that when he was younger to help him fall asleep. For a moment he could almost hear her singing. Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes and looked at Natasha.

"Ok I'm ready."

She kissed him gently. "We can wait."

Bucky shook his head. "I've put this off long enough."

"Ok. How do you want it?" she asked, picking up the comb from the counter.

Bucky looked in the mirror and took a lock of hair between his fingers. "Not too short."

Natasha combed his hair out, studying his face carefully. "Let's just start by taking off the dead ends."

"Alright," Bucky agreed, looking back at the mirror.

Natasha draped a towel around his shoulders and dampened his hair with a spray bottle. She combed it to make it lay evenly and picked up the scissors. He felt his muscles tense as the cold metal brushed his neck. He tried to breathe through his anxiety, opening and closing his hand. The haircut had been Natasha's idea. She had been suggesting it since he arrived, but he had kept putting it off. Having to sit still while someone held a sharp object so close to his face brought back memories of HYDRA, but he needed to do this. After last week, Wilson had encouraged what he called exposure therapy to help Bucky learn to control his reactions. It was exhausting, but he was willing to try anything to avoid another incident.

He watched the hair fall away as Natasha worked, combing and snipping at the ends. She combed down the front of his hair and ran the scissors along the edge. He tensed up as the cold metal touched his throat. Natasha stepped away and laid the scissors on the counter where he could see them.

"Are you ok?"

Bucky nodded, rubbing his neck. "I'm fine. Keep going."

She resumed her work, careful to keep the scissors away from his skin. Bucky watched in the mirror, studying his face. There had been more to his reluctance than just fear. There was still a disconnect sometimes between what he saw in the mirror and what he thought should be there. He had been stunned the first time he had seen his reflection after escaping. Somewhere in his mind he knew that what he was seeing wasn't quite right. The night after visiting the museum, he had spent hours comparing his old picture to the man in the mirror. Three years later it was still a struggle to reconcile the two.

Natasha finished and set the scissors down. "How is that?"

Bucky looked in the mirror. It was a subtle difference, but it was enough for now. "Yeah, that's good."

Natasha toweled his hair dry and started cleaning up. Bucky ran his hands through it. She had only taken off an inch or so, but it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He turned around and put his hands on her waist. "Thank you."

She draped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the forehead. "Want to go out now that you're all cleaned up?"

Bucky looked down the hall toward the bedroom. "I have a better idea."

 

* * *

 

Steve set down the book, unable to concentrate as muffled sounds drifted across the hall from Bucky's room.

"Sounds like they worked things out," Sharon grumbled.

Steve sighed. "It was almost better when they were keeping this a secret. At least we could get some sleep."

Sharon set her book aside and turned to stroke his arm. "Should we show them how annoying they are?"

Steve considered it for a moment. It had been almost a month since they were last together. He was tempted, but the lingering ache in his ribs was still too painful. "Maybe we can just get some ear plugs."

"Fine, I'll see you in the morning," Sharon sighed. She kissed him and turned off the light.

Steve shifted against the pillows to try and get comfortable. He could tell that she was getting impatient. He was starting to get frustrated too, but there was nothing he could do about it until his ribs healed. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Wanda yawned as she headed upstairs to bed. She opened the door quietly so as not to disturb Natasha, but the room felt empty. She reached out for Natasha's presence and found her in Bucky's room. Bucky was beside her, deep in a relaxed slumber. Natasha was asleep but she seemed restless.

Wanda turned on the lights to change as she probed their feelings gently. She knew Bucky didn't like that, but something had happened between them. After the incident last week they were both on edge, but this felt different. Bucky didn't seem to be aware of it, but something new had unsettled Natasha. She didn't want to interfere, but Bucky could get easily frustrated and Natasha was notoriously evasive. Whatever it was would come out eventually, but it would be easier on him if she could speed things up.

She turned out the lights and plugged her phone in to charge. As she closed her eyes it dinged. She rolled over to find a message from Vision.

_We're heading out on a mission. I'll text you when we return._

Yawning, she sent him a kiss emoji and lay back down to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Bucky started loading the dishwasher while everyone cleared out. Steve brought him a stack of plates from the table as Sharon came in to get her purse.

"Nat and I are going out shopping. We should be back in a few hours."

"I'll see you later." Steve kissed her and carried the last of the dishes over to the counter.

Bucky loaded them and started the cycle. "Feel up to sparring today?"

Steve shook his head, gently rubbing his side. "No, I'd better take it easy. I don't want this to take any longer to heal than it has to. Want to watch a movie?"

Bucky raised an eyebrow. It was odd for Steve to voluntarily take it easy. "How are things with you and Sharon?"

"We didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Steve grumbled.

Bucky couldn't help but grin. "Did we keep you up?"

Steve scowled at him and continued. "I think Sharon's starting to get a little impatient. We haven't" he fumbled over the words for a moment, "done anything since this happened. It hurts my rib, but I don't know what else to do."

"I figured she would have something," Bucky said getting a soda out of the refrigerator.

"What do you mean?"

Bucky looked to make sure they were alone and lowered his voice. "Back in the war I met a lot of girls who liked to pretend like they didn't know anything, but I could tell they knew a lot more than I did. She might be your first, but you're definitely not hers. If you let her know that you're ready for a bit more, I'm sure she'll be happy to show you."

Steve nodded slowly, mulling over the idea. Bucky clapped him on the shoulder.

"Come on, let's go find something to watch."

Steve nodded and followed him to the living room.

 

* * *

 

Natasha parked the car and opened the trunk. She and Sharon got out to start unloading the car.

"Well this should last us until Thanksgiving," Sharon remarked, gathering up four bags. "What day are we heading up to Clint's?"

"I need to call Laura and check on that," Natasha said, wedging the paper towels under her arm. "And we need to figure out sleeping arrangements."

"We can always stick Scott on the floor," Sharon suggested. "It's just a few days."

The door opened and Bucky came out. "Get anything good?"

"Just the usual," Sharon said. "Grab a bag."

Bucky picked up the rest of the groceries and followed them to the house.

"They had the Christmas decorations for sale," Natasha told him. "I had to talk Sharon out of buying a giant inflatable snowman."

"Christmas?" Bucky asked. "It's not even Thanksgiving."

Natasha laughed quietly. "You want to tell him?" she asked Sharon.

"Sharon smirked. "I'll let you."

Bucky raised an eyebrow and looked at Natasha. "Tell me what?"

"Just some nuances of modern American culture." She set the food down on the kitchen counter and adjusted her grip on the cleaning supplies.

"All of that goes down to the basement," Sharon told Bucky.

"Did you get the rosemary?" Wanda asked.

"It's in here somewhere. Help me put these away."

Bucky followed Natasha downstairs. "So why are they selling Christmas decorations in the middle of November?"

Natasha shrugged. "No one really knows. Over the years they started decorating earlier and earlier. Everyone hates it, but they keep doing it."

Bucky shook his head and started unloading the bags.

"So what did you guys do?" Natasha asked.

"Steve and I watched a movie. We were just about to start another one if you want to join us."

"Or we could spar a bit," Natasha suggested, standing on her toes to reach the top shelf. Bucky's eyes dropped down to her rear.

"Or we could just go upstairs," he suggested.

Natasha hesitated for a moment. Something had seemed off last night, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what. Their forced break had put a damper on things, but she felt like there was more to it. Still, standing here in awkward silence wasn't going to solve anything. She turned to Bucky and smiled. It was probably nothing. Things were bound to be a little strange in the beginning, they just had to work out the kinks. She slipped her arms around his waist.

"We could compromise and do it on the couch."

With a playful grin, Bucky picked her up and carried her to the couch. Natasha reached around and slipped a hand down the back of his pants. If there was something wrong, she was going to figure it out.

 

* * *

 

Steve sat in bed reading his book. He had been thinking about Bucky's advice all day but he still wasn't sure how to approach it. Bucky was right that he should ask Sharon, but he didn't know what to say. He had let her take the lead, but It had only been a few months and he was still a bit unsure of himself when it came to this. He could run into a HYDRA base armed with a SHIELD and stare down megalomaniac super villains without blinking, yet somehow with Sharon he reverted right back to that skinny kid from Brooklyn.

Sharon closed her book and set it on the side table. "Are you done reading?"

"How many guys have you slept with?" Steve heard himself blurt out.

Sharon looked a him in stunned silence for a moment. "Excuse me?"

"That came out wrong," Steve said quickly.

"How was it supposed to come out?" Sharon asked pointedly.

Steve could feel his palms start to sweat. "I just meant that you've done this more than I have and-" He trailed off, afraid to say anything else.

"And?" she prompted with a withering glare.

"And maybe we should just go to sleep and talk about this in the morning," he suggested, his voice shaking.

"That's the smartest thing you've said all night," she said tersely She turned out the lights and rolled on her side with her back to him.

Steve settled back against the pillows with a defeated sigh. "I love you," he said lamely.

"Love you too," she grumbled.

Steve stared at the dark ceiling and thought back to all the other times Bucky had given him dating advice. He realized none of it had ever actually been that helpful. Maybe he should ask Natasha. He would probably regret it but he couldn't possibly make things any worse.

 

* * *

 

It was still dark when Wanda awoke. She fumbled around for her phone and pressed the button to turn on the screen. There were no messages from Vision. She hadn't heard from him since he left for the mission. She knew there was nothing to worry about, but she had gotten used to waking up to a text. She searched through the news. There were no reports of any incidents involving the Avengers, but it was too soon to worry. It wasn't unusual for their missions to be conducted in secret.

She set the phone aside and looked over to check Natasha's bed. It was empty, but she could feel Natasha and Bucky asleep across the hall. She probed gently, just deep enough to read their emotions. Natasha still had the same sense of restlessness she had noticed the other day. She could sense a bit of tension from Bucky that indicated he was starting to pick up on it. She would keep an eye on them, but right now, she needed some coffee.

Putting on her robe and slippers, she headed downstairs. Sharon was in the kitchen making breakfast. Wanda watched her as she chopped the onions furiously. She poured a cup of coffee and sat down on the other side of the island. Sharon moved the onions to the pan and started beating the eggs. She seemed frustrated. With everything that was going on, it was understandable, but Wanda felt there was something she wasn't quite seeing.

"You're up early," she noted, sipping her coffee.

"I didn't sleep well last night," Sharon grumbled, dumping a bag of hashbrowns into a casserole dish. "Steve and I got in a stupid argument. We haven't slept together since he got hurt and it's driving me crazy. So I overreacted to something he said and we went to bed angry."

Wanda choked on her coffee. Suddenly it struck her that what she was feeling from Sharon and Natasha was the same.

"And it's not helping that Bucky and Natasha are back at it," Sharon continued. "That's the second night in a row they've kept me up."

Wanda coughed and cleared her throat. Sex wasn't something she had a lot of experience with. She had never had any close friends to talk to before joining the Avengers and she had never talked about these sorts of things with Pietro. How was she even going to bring this up?

"Why don't we get a pedicure today," she suggested. "My last one is starting to chip and I think we could all use a spa day."

She felt Sharon relax a bit. "That sounds nice. I'll see if Scott and Natasha want to join us."

"Join you for what?" Natasha asked, coming down the stairs with Bucky behind her.

"Pedicures," Wanda said.

"Can we go to the day spa with the hair stylist?" Natasha asked. "I was thinking about getting this dyed."

Wanda felt a flutter of unease from Bucky. "What's wrong with red?"

Natasha took his hand gently and kissed him. "I've been thinking about it since San Francisco. No one's following us right now, but our faces have been on the news quite a bit and the red stands out."

"I think you'd look good as a blonde," Sharon suggested.

Natasha looked coyly at Bucky. "What do you think?"

"I like the red," he replied uneasily.

"She does have a point though," Wanda said gently. "If we have to go on the run again, it would help if we changed our appearance."

"I could use a trim," Sharon said. "We'll look for a place after breakfast."

"A place for what?" Scott yawned, coming into the kitchen.

"Pedicures," Natasha said.

Scott perked up and opened up his laptop. He got a cup of coffee while it booted up. "So what are we looking for?"

"We were going to get our hair done," Sharon told him.

"I am on it!" Scott announced.

Natasha poured a cup of coffee as he set to work. "Oh, remind me I need to call Clint about Thanksgiving."

Wanda felt a hint of excitement from Bucky. "Did you have that back in the 30's?"

"Yeah, Macy's used to put on this huge parade. My uncle worked as a doorman at a fancy apartment building in Manhattan so he would let us up to the roof to watch."

"They still do that parade," Sharon told him.

Wanda saw Bucky's eyes light up. "Really?"

"Yeah, you can watch it on TV now."

"You think Barton will let us?" Bucky asked.

"Oh yeah, the kids love it," Natasha assured him, handing him a cup of coffee.

The kitchen door opened and Sam came in from his run. He poured a glass of orange juice and leaned against the counter to check his phone. A minute later Steve came down.

"Breakfast ready?" he asked, eyeing Sharon warily.

"No, this still has to bake," Sharon said, sliding the casserole into the oven.

"Ooh, hey, this place does a straight razor shave and a facial," Scott exclaimed. He looked at Bucky, Steve and Sam. "You guys want to come?"

Wanda felt a flutter of trepidation from Bucky. "No, I just had a haircut," he muttered, rubbing his neck.

"Steve? You look like you could use a shave."

Steve stroked his chin. "I was actually thinking about letting it grow out. I've never had a beard before."

"Not even when you were younger?" Scott asked.

"They weren't really in style," Steve said.

"You couldn't grow one," Bucky teased. Steve swatted him playfully with the newspaper.

Scott looked at Sam. "How about it?"

Sam shook his head. "Oh no, I don't let anyone near this masterpiece."

"Your loss," Scott chuckled, typing excitedly. "Alright, four haircuts, one shave, four pedicures and booked. Our appointments start at 11 and we should be back by 3."

Bucky scoffed. "And what time do they reattach your balls?"

Wanda stifled a laugh. "I'm going to take a shower while the casserole is baking." She headed upstairs. Halfway up she heard Bucky behind her.

"Hey I wanted to ask. Has Natasha said anything to you lately?"

"About what?" she asked. She knew what he was thinking, but it was best to let him say it.

"About me."

Wanda shook her head. "No, but I haven't seen her much since she started sleeping in your room."

Bucky nodded and headed back to the kitchen. Wanda continued up to the bathroom. Just as she had suspected, Natasha hadn't said anything to Bucky. If he was starting to notice it might be time for her to step in. She didn't want to worry Bucky until she knew more, but she sensed those two needed help soon. Maybe Natasha would say something at the salon later.

 

* * *

 

Bucky finished loading the dishwasher and started wiping down the counter. Sharon came in to the kitchen.

"Ok we should be back by four," she said. It's Sam's night for dinner. Make sure he actually cooks, I'm tired of pizza."

"I'll tell him," Steve muttered, not looking up from his newspaper.

"Bucky, make sure he rests today. If he injures that rib again I'm chaining him to the bed."

"Have fun," Bucky called as she headed for the door. He poured the last of the coffee in his mug and sat down at the table.

"Everything alright with Sharon?" He probed. "You two seemed a bit on edge this morning."

Steve sighed and folded up the paper. "We had a fight last night. I tried to take your advice but my mouth got a little ahead of my brain." Steve sighed. "I'm afraid if I try to ask her about it now, I'll dig myself in deeper."

Bucky sipped his coffee to hide an aggravated sigh. Leave it to Steve to screw up something that simple. There had to be a way to help him that he couldn't bungle. He noticed Steve's laptop on the table.

"Can you ask the computer?"

"Internet," Steve corrected.

"Whatever you call it. Can you ask it what to do?"

Steve eyed it doubtfully. "I looked once and I managed to get a general idea, but a lot of it was confusing and honestly a little disturbing."

"Maybe you didn't ask it right." Bucky suggested.

Steve sighed. "Fine, I'm desperate."

Bucky watched curiously as Steve brought up the Google. He had mastered the television and the dishwasher, but the internet still baffled him. He understood the general idea, but it seemed like hunting for a needle in a haystack. Steve typed 'sex moves' into the search box. Links to several magazine articles popped up. Bucky scanned the titles.

"Six moves to try for an unforgettable night," he read.

Steve clicked on the link and a picture of a woman with a leather whip popped up. He slammed the laptop shut quickly.

"What are you guys doing?" Wilson asked coming in from the living room.

"Trying to find a way for Steve to knock boots with his girl without his rib killing him." Bucky said before Steve could answer. Steve just glared at him.

"Give me that thing before you two geezers hurt yourselves." Wilson took the computer and typed something. "Here"

Bucky and Steve both leaned in to study the diagram on the screen. Wilson patted them both on the shoulder. "I'll be in the living room."

"Cowgirl?" Steve looked at Bucky. "Have you ever heard of this?"

"Oh yeah," Bucky suddenly remembered. "I did that with some French broad back in the war,"

"It looks like it could work," Steve admitted. He clicked back a screen to the list Wilson had found. "What is the wheelbarrow?"

Curious, Bucky clicked the link. "That would definitely hurt your rib."

"I think I'll go with the first one." Steve closed the laptop and went to get a drink. "So how are things with Natasha?"

"I think they're ok," Bucky said. "I feel like something's off, but I could just be imagining it."

"What do you mean?"

Bucky sipped his coffee. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was different from before. "I don't know. I'm just not really sure what I'm doing. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong, but I can't remember how I used to handle this."

"You didn't," Steve told him. "I think the longest you ever dated a girl was a week."

Bucky finished his coffee and took the mug to the sink. "Getting a girl is a lot different than keeping one." He paused. "She'd tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn't she?"

"Not necessarily." Steve cautioned. "She tends to keep a lot of things to herself

Bucky nodded. Natasha was never afraid to speak her mind but she didn't often volunteer her thoughts. Even after six months living in the same house he knew so little about her.

Steve took a bag of popcorn out of the cabinet and put it in the microwave. "I think that's enough deep thinking for one day. Let's keep the movie marathon going."

"What was that one Scott was talking about last night?" Bucky asked. "The one where the Nazi's get their faces melted off?"

"Raiders of the Lost Ark?"

"Yeah that was it," Bucky said. "Let's watch that."

 

* * *

 

Dinner that night was quiet. Steve still wasn't sure what to say to Sharon and it didn't seem like she was going to help him out. Bucky spent most of the time staring at Natasha's new hair. Wanda and Sam seemed to pick up on the tension and stayed quiet, carefully monitoring Bucky. Scott kept the conversation going but kept stroking his clean shaven face.

Finally dinner was over and everyone retreated to their separate corners. Bucky went to help Natasha with clean up. Afterwards the two of them disappeared upstairs for the rest of the evening. Sharon left to do laundry and Sam and Scott went to the basement to work on Sam's wings. Steve turned on the TV to watch the news. Wanda joined him in the living room, but her attention was on her phone.

There was nothing big happening in the news so Steve turned it off and went to get his sketchbook from the living room. Wanda was a convenient model so he started sketching a picture of her in the chair. He hadn't noticed before but something seemed to be bothering her. He hoped she wasn't still upset about the suspension. He would have to make some time to talk to her, but he'd ask Bucky about it tomorrow. He might have a better idea what was going on.

Steve finished the outline of his sketch and closed the book. "I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late."

Wanda looked up from her phone and smiled at him. "Good night."

Steve headed upstairs where Sharon was making the bed. He stood there for a moment watching her. "Your hair looks good," he said finally.

That drew a small smile from her. "I should hope so. I paid them enough." She folded the blanket down and put the pillows back on the bed. "You didn't come up here to talk about my hair."

"I'm sorry about last night, that came out wrong." Steve apologized. "It's none of my business who you were with before you met me and I don't care. It's not even what I was trying to ask."

Sharon kissed him. "Its ok, I've been a little tense lately and I overreacted."

"We've both been a little on edge lately because we haven't been able to do anything," Steve acknowledged. "I was trying to ask if you have any ideas for how to get around that"

Sharon traced a finger down his chest. "I didn't want to rush you."

He took her hand. "If you want to try something you can just tell me. I'm not that easy to shock"

Sharon slid a hand under his shirt. "You might regret you said that when that rib heals."

Steve cleared his throat nervously. "Well Bucky and I actually looked up a few things on the internet and I found one I'd like to try."

Sharon raised an eyebrow. "Bucky on the internet, I bet that was amusing."

"Sam had to help us," Steve confessed.

Sharon led him over to the bed. "And what did you find?"

Steve swallowed. "There was one thing where I lay down and you're on top."

"Ah," Sharon gently pushed him back against the pillows and straddled his hips. "Like this?"

Steve felt his groin tighten as she settled in. "Yeah that was it."

She leaned into kiss him. "And this doesn't hurt?"

"Nothing I can't handle," Steve grunted. His rib ached a bit but not enough to make him stop.

Sharon leaned in and nipped at his earlobe. "You might regret you said that."

 

* * *

 

Wanda nodded as Steve left and opened up the last text from Vision. It had been two days now with no word. As far as they knew, Vision was nearly indestructible, but she missed hearing from him. After a year and a half with no contact, his messages had given her hope that things could work out. This silence made her realize just how thin that hope was. She had spent all afternoon listening to Sharon and Natasha, and it made him feel so far away. All she had now were words and she was starting to wonder if she would ever have more.

She put the phone away and reached for the remote. Maybe some TV would get her mind off him. At the very least it might help her tune out what was going on elsewhere in the house.

 

* * *

 

 

Natasha awoke shivering. She was alone in the bed. Bucky had tucked the blankets around her, but without him there it was too cold. She got up and went across the hall to get another blanket but noticed that the door to her room was open. If Wanda was up, Bucky was probably down there with her.

It had taken a few days, but Natasha had finally figured out what was wrong. It wasn't a matter of chemistry, Bucky just wasn't that good in bed. He had a reputation, but she knew as well as anyone that reputations could be exaggerated. The real problem was that she had no idea what to do about it. She had been with plenty of men who were horrible, but it had never mattered with them. On a mission she had been trained to act like her target was the greatest lover she had ever known. She had no idea how to critique someone on this. She wasn't sure how Bucky would take it either. He was from a generation that didn't discuss sex, but she would have to figure something out soon.

She crept downstairs and into the kitchen. Quiet voices drifted out of the dimly lit living room. Bucky and Wanda sat on the couch with their backs to her. Natasha crept silently into the room and sat on the floor behind the couch.

"So if you didn't have a nightmare, what's wrong?" Bucky asked.

"I was thinking about Vision." Wanda paused for a moment. "I'm happy for you and Natasha, but I'll admit I'm a bit jealous. Even when you guys are having problems at least you're together."

"What did she say?" Bucky asked.

"Nothing," Wanda replied. "But Sharon was complaining about her and Steve and I got the sense Natasha felt the same."

Natasha cringed. There was no avoiding it now.

"You picked up on that, didn't you."

Bucky sighed. "Not that exactly. This is a woman who trained her whole life to be impossible to read. I knew something was off, but I thought it just had to do with last week."

"Well you haven't dated anyone since 1945. It's no wonder you're a little rusty."

Natasha heard a pillow thud against Wanda's arm before it tumbled over the back of the sofa to land at her feet.

"Can we get back to me, please?" Wanda laughed.

"Your boyfriend is five hours away and you haven't talked to him in a month! My girlfriend is upstairs. Help figure out what I'm doing wrong!"

"Ask her!" Wanda insisted.

Natasha heard Bucky shift to put his arm around Wanda.

"So what's the problem with Vision?"

"Nothing," Wanda said quietly. "Like you said, he's not here."

He kissed her on the temple. "That doesn't mean he cares about you any less."

"And what if we do see each other again and I don't feel the same way?"

"That's life," Bucky said, "but you have to take a leap of faith sometimes. If you really love him distance won't change that."

"Thank you." Wanda kissed him on the cheek. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night."

Natasha held her breath as Wanda passed, hoping she might overlook her in the dark. She wondered how long she could delay the conversation with Bucky. It was inevitable now, but he was likely to mull over it for a few days before he brought it up. That should give her time to figure out how to explain this to him.

"How much did you hear?"

Natasha gasped in surprise and looked up. Bucky was leaning over the back of the couch staring down at her.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Wanda ratted you out before she left." Bucky climbed over the couch to join her on the floor. "You know my ego isn't that fragile. You can tell me if I'm not doing it right."

"I didn't say that," Natasha cut in quickly. "There are just a few things we could tweak."

Bucky smiled. "I was with a lot of women, but I actually had no idea what I was doing. No one really talked about that stuff, so you just had to guess. And all of the girls liked to pretend it was their first time so they wouldn't tell you if you were doing anything wrong." He looked at her. "Honestly, I wouldn't mind some guidance."

"I don't have much practice giving it," Natasha admitted. "I don't do it for fun very often. It was always just another weapon."

Bucky put an arm around her shoulder. "I'm not a mission. You don't have to pretend with me."

Natasha leaned against him. "You're right," she admitted. "I guess it's not really in my nature."

Bucky grinned and ran a hand through his hair. "So it was bad?"

"No," Natasha insisted. "But the first few times, we were caught up in the excitement and after taking a break I'm just noticing a few things that I missed.

"Like what?"

"Did they have foreplay back in your day?"

Bucky thought for a moment. "Probably not."

Natasha reached down and squeezed his thigh. "Let's go back to your room and I'll show you."

 

* * *

 

Light peaked in through the blinds. Wanda rolled over and closed her eyes again, trying to shut out Bucky and Natasha so she could get back to sleep. Usually she had to focus, but after days of monitoring, she had started to pick them up instinctively. They seemed more at ease this morning, but they were thinking about things she didn't want to see. Unconsciously, her attention shifted to Steve and Sharon. They had also settled things, but she was going to have to work on her control if she wanted to get any sleep.

Groaning, she slid out of bed and put on her robe. It was her morning for breakfast so she could at least use that to distract herself. She headed down stairs and started fixing the coffee, while she waited for it to brew, Scott came into the kitchen.

"Morning." she said, taking the bagels out of the cabinet.

"Morning," he said. "Sorry for going into your room, but this thing kept going off."

Wanda froze as he set her phone on the counter. On the screen were a series of text notifications from Vision. Wanda looked at Scott.

"I'm not going to tell anyone," he said. "Although it's probably not the best idea to have him saved in your contacts."

"I know it's risky," Wanda admitted.

"Yeah, that's what Steve and Natasha will say, but they're not in the same situation we are."

Wanda looked at the messages. "I haven't heard from him in three days."

"Yeah, Hope just texted me too."

"Do you think you'll ever see her again," Wanda asked.

"I'll find a way," Scott replied firmly. He looked at the phone. "Go text him back, I'll put the bagels in."

Wanda opened up the texts messages.

_We've returned._

_I'm sorry I was unable to contact you, but the mission required my full concentration._

_We're safe._

_I missed you._

Wanda read over the messages a few times. Finally she started typing.

_I need to see you again._

-End-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I had plans to do this as part of another chapter but it was too much so I had to break it up and it took me longer than I expected. I have one more chapter of the Bucky Natasha arc before we enter the final phase of the story. I am going to have this finished before Infinity War comes out. Thank you guys for sticking with me!


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